A Concern

A child receives a new name. She is labeled difficult. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:02

July sixteenth, nineteen fifty-six.

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Certificate of Baptism. This is to certify that Mary Olivia Bowman, child of Jacob Bowman, not natural father, and Gabriel Eastland Bowman was born on December 17, 1951, and baptized on June 25, 1956, according to the rite of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. Priest Rev L. J. DeRuwen, Chaplain, Our Lady of Providence Nursery.

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July 13, 56. Approximately a week after the placement, I visited in the Fisher home.

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Mrs. Fisher was present with the children, and I think that the children were just a little bit fearful of my presence, but I interpreted this as being a fear that I might take them away. I talked with Mrs. Fisher at length about the children's adjustment, and she told me they had had a good trip down, and that while the children had talked quite often about their foster mother, that they have not talked in terms of returning to her. There evidently has been a great deal of excitement and visiting from people in the community with the Fishers, and things have not calmed down to normal pace as yet. I think that Mrs. Fisher was still caught up in this, and it was rather difficult for her to paint anything but a fairly satisfactory picture of the adjustment at this time. I told her that I would probably be back in about a month since I was coming into that area on an adoption trip, and at that time possibly I would be able to see Mr. Fisher. She stated that they have not gone out wholeheartedly in making purchasing for the children. They have gotten them a few things that they do need, and they have to purchase bunk beds for them as yet.

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July 31, 56.

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I again visited in the Fisher home, and at this time, David and Mary were quite relaxed, and Mrs. Fisher talked at some length about some of the problems that they had had in adjusting to the changes in their life. She pointed out that it was quite a nervous strain getting used to having the noise and demands of the children when they had been so used to a rather quiet routine life prior to this. She was not discussing this in a negative way at all, it was just very factual with her, and she also brought out the feeling that while this has been a strain on both of them, they are gradually adjusting to it, and that the pleasures that the children have brought them by all means outweigh any of these problems that it has presented. I am quite pleased to note that Mrs. Fisher is very warm with the children, and at the same time she is quite firm. I had noticed this on my previous contact, and the second visit with her reaffirmed the fact that she is quite capable in dealing with youngsters. She lets them know what limits they can expect, and when they go beyond these, she handles it by taking away some privileges. She lets them know when she means business, and at the same time when she feels that sometimes they don't understand something, she will talk to them very quietly and explain to them why they cannot do something. She states that Mary actually is a little more difficult to handle in that she lets things go in one ear and out the other, whereas David seems to understand better, and once she tells him not to do something, he will cooperate. However, David is quite a tease and really torments Mary to the point where Mary gets very angry and upset. It was my impression that the children are making a good adjustment and are much more relaxed and secure at the time of this visit. They approached the worker and wanted to play with her, and they would move freely in and out of the house, whereas in the past they have wanted to stay quite close to Mrs. Fisher and seem to need reassurance that she was not going to disappear. She said that this had been rather a pattern in the first few weeks, that they would frequently come into the house to see if she was still there, and she would assure them that she was, and then they would go out to play again. Another point that she brought out was the fact that because she has been home with the children all the time, they tend to identify more with her than with Mr. Fisher, they don't want her to go any place without them, and she has tried to work with them around this. She stated that it is quite hard for Mr. Fisher to accept this, even though intellectually he understands what is happening here. I suggested that she plan to leave the children with him alone, perhaps to go on a shopping trip of some kind, or he might take them someplace by himself so they will come to realize that they are safe with both of these people. Whenever she finds that the children's rowdy noise and bickering are getting on her nerves, she tries to sit down and relax for a little time and tries to send the children out to play. She finds that they will play alone outside for long periods now, and this has helped in that they are not underfoot as much as they were in the early weeks of the placement. She finds that as time goes on, the children talk less and less about their foster home and are beginning to identify with the new home and relatives. She stated that her mother back east had had a notice put in the paper regarding the adoption, and she showed this to me and was quite pleased about it. She also stated that they had talked with their grandmother on the phone, that she had sent them many nice clothes, and evidently this placement is working out to the satisfaction of all concerned. Mrs. Fisher's parting remark, when I was leaving, was that they wouldn't think of parting with them, and they were so pleased with our choice of a family for them.

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November 16, 1956.

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Catholic Services for Children, 400 Deccham Building, 519 Southwest 3rd Avenue, Portland, Oregon. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Fisher, 213 East Harback Road, Grants Pass, Oregon. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, it has been some time since I have seen you, and since I probably won't get down your way until the cold weather passes, I am wondering how you and your family are doing. If you have been having rainy weather like ours, you are no doubt finding it difficult to keep your little angels occupied. How are they getting along, and do you have any discipline problems with them? I thought you were doing a wonderful job with them when I last visited, and it is obvious that their adjustment backs up this statement. Has daddy status risen since those early weeks? The children were reacting pretty normally for the situation, but I imagine by now they have found enough security to move into a closer relationship with you and Mr. Fisher. I will be looking forward to hearing about all the good and not so good things they've been doing, and how you are feeling now about this new experience of being parents. Best wishes, and give Davey and Mary a hug for me.

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Sincerely, Miss K Paddon, adoption worker. A handwritten note appears in the margin of Kay's typed letter to the Fishers.

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It says, answer November 21st, sent $25. Write again. January 22nd, sent $100. Additional writing appears on the back of the letter. The writing begins mid-sentence. It reads, Very good. They are really good in church and always look forward to the time they can go to church again. As the saying goes, like father, like son. David really tries to copy his daddy. Once in a while, they will bring up some things about their foster parents or home. Upon asking them if they would like to go back there, is a definite no, which is almost in tears. For mother and daddy, we are mighty proud of our family. About two weeks ago, we lost our dog, Pat. He was hit by a car and killed. The children were getting so attached to him, and they keep talking about him. Perhaps someday we will get them another dog. We are enclosing two very recent pictures of Mary and David. We are also enclosing a check for $25 and hope to send more soon. We will try and write to you again soon. Mr. and Mrs. F.H. Fisher.

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February 8, 1957. Catholic Services for Children. Dear Mr. and Mrs.

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Fisher, I was so pleased to receive your letter bringing me up to date on your family. I'm glad you had the experience of leaving the children, as this is always good in preparing them for times when necessity might demand your being away. All of us here at the agency who know the twins have been so happy with the fine adjustment they've made, and I know it is because both of you have been wonderful in your handling of them. May I also express the agency's appreciation for your contribution, which has been so generous. Give the little ones a hug for me, and I'll be looking forward to seeing all of you before too long. Sincerely, Miss K.

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Paddon, adoption worker. March 16, 57.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

On this date, I visited in the Fishers' Adoptive Home in Grants Pass and talked with Mrs. Fisher and visited with David and Mary. The children have grown a great deal during the last few months, and both of them look very healthy and happy at the time of this visit. Since I had not had an opportunity to visit with the Fishers since July 1956, I had kept in touch with them through correspondence and was most appreciative of their letters informing me of the youngsters' development. On November 21, 1956, I got a note from each of them. Mrs. Fisher indicated that Mary and David were getting along wonderfully and were really full of pep. She stated that they had been outside playing most of the time, and the only time they didn't get out was when it was raining. At that time, Mary had gained five and a half pounds and had grown one and a half inches, while David had gained two and a half pounds and had grown one inch. She stated that David is much more active than Mary, which probably accounts for his not gaining as much. She stated that they're like all children, there are times that they have to be corrected, but as a whole they behave very well. She stated that they are really good in church and always looking forward to the time they can go to church again. She remarked that as for daddy's status, he seems to be tops around their house. She stated that some evenings she and the children walk down to meet him coming home from work, and that the children enjoy this and think that they are bringing him home. She stated that as the saying goes, like father, like son, David really tries to copy his daddy. She informed me that once in a while they will bring up something about their foster parents or their other home. Upon asking them if they would like to go back there, there is a definite no, which is almost said in tears. She stated that as for she and her husband, they are very proud of their family. They enclosed in their letter a check for $25 and stated that they would send more when they could. At the time of this placement, we interpreted to the Fishers that we recognized that there would be a great deal of expense involved, since these children would be attending school in the near future, and that we would not expect them to meet the voluntary contribution if it was any strain on their budget. At the end of this note, Mr. Fisher added the statement, I think Mary and David are wonderful, and we are very proud of them. We are looking forward to a wonderful Christmas, the four of us. Wonder who will enjoy it most, the children or mommy and daddy. On January 22nd, I received a letter from the Fishers telling me that everything was fine there and that they were all getting along well. Mrs. Fisher states that they had a wonderful Christmas and that Mary and David were very excited and kept asking their daddy when Santa was going to come again. David had had quite a siege with tonsillitis for a few days, but he had been a wonderful patient and did not complain. The doctor suggested that if he has any further trouble with his tonsils, he should have them removed. The children have both had colds, but neither amounted to much. They are outgrowing most of their clothes, and Mrs. Fisher has been busy trying to sew so that she can get them outfitted again. Mrs. Fisher stated that she had taken off one day when her husband was home and was gone all day. She stated that the children were still in bed when she left in the morning, so Daddy had had them as complete charges all day. She stated that she had gotten back about five, and the twins were certainly happy to see her. She stated that they both had had to hug and kiss her at the same time, and they would hardly let her go. She stated that that was the first time she had ever been away from them any longer than an hour, and they had kept asking about her all day, however, they all got along fine, and she knows that she missed the twins very much too. She stated that ever so often when she was out that day, she kept wondering how things were going at home, but her husband is quite competent in caring for them.

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May 16, 57.

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I received another letter from Mrs. Fisher, enclosing snapshots to show how the children have grown. She stated that the children manage to have their daily quarrels, but of late she has been letting them iron most of them out themselves, and this seemed to help. They got the children tricycles in the fall, and since the weather has been nice, the children spend quite a bit of their time out playing with these. She stated that they have been weighing and measuring the children, and that David is now as tall as Mary when she was first brought to them, but Mary is still the larger of the two. Mary is 47 and 5 eighths inches and weighs 48 pounds, while David is 43 inches and weighs 40 pounds. They are both very healthy and she is keeping them on vitamins to maintain their health. She states that the children are quite lonesome since the little neighbor boy they used to play with has moved away, but they do play together quite a bit and have each other for company.

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June 28, 57.

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Mr. and Mrs. Fisher and David and Mary came into the office. At this time, I reviewed background information with the Fishers and reviewed the steps toward completion of the legal adoption with them. They had no questions around the procedures and were interested in talking about Mary and David and the progress they have shown in their home. They stated that the youngsters attended vacation school for two weeks in June and had certainly enjoyed it and were looking forward to going to school this year. David has an allergy, they have found out, to many things. His eyes swell up quite badly and are watery, and he can't breathe too well when he is around something that makes him allergic. I wondered if they have been able to determine just what he is allergic to, and Mr. and Mrs. Fisher said that there are many things: wools, feathers, dust, and some foods, etc. Mr. Fisher stated that in this regard, David takes after him as he is allergic to, and they seemed to feel that it was nothing to be concerned about. To my knowledge, David was not allergic, or there were no indications of allergy prior to the time of placement. This could be something we were not aware of, however. Or maybe it showed up because of the area in which he lives, which is somewhat out in the country where there is probably more pollen and so on in the air. They told me again about an incident when David had tonsillitis and his throat was swollen so severely that it was almost shut. They stated that they did not know that he was even having any pain at all, but noticed that it seemed difficult for him to swallow, and he could not complain whatsoever. They found out that he had a very severe case of tonsillitis and was probably in a good deal of pain, but he is the kind of youngster who does not tell you if something hurts him. It may be that he just has a high tolerance for pain, but Mr. Fisher remarked that on one occasion he accidentally shut the car door on Davy's fingers and that David had turned up white as a sheet, and until he looked at him, he didn't even know that the fingers were in the door because he didn't cry out with pain. Mrs. Fisher stated that when the youngsters had attended the vacation school, they had to separate them and put them in different classes, and this had seemed to work out better than when they were together. The children get along well in church and like to go, and everyone remarks about how well behaved they are. Mr. Fisher stated that they try to explain things to the children as much as possible and try to be just in giving them things so that the one will not feel the other is getting more. I think that these people would be quite firm disciplinarians, and from my observations of the children's behavior in the home, I think that they have really put much better controls on them than when they were in the foster home. Mr. and Mrs. Fisher were quite eager to move ahead with the completion of these youngsters' adoption and planned to use an attorney in the Grants Pass area. I stated that when we heard from their attorney, we would proceed with the necessary steps toward the completion. The Fishers expressed their appreciation for having given them this family, and stated that they are very happy and they feel that their home is now complete and that they have two wonderful children. I feel that these youngsters have made a very fine adjustment in this home. I have had a little bit of concern about Mrs. Fisher being somewhat threatening with the youngsters on one occasion when I visited the home, and she indicated that if Mary did not behave, she would go back to Portland. However, I had tried in other interviews to interpret that there is a good deal of insecurity on the part of children such as these, and that they should be given every encouragement and every possible indication of security with people, and should not be threatened when they misbehave. I pointed out that it is alright to let children know you do not approve of what they do, but they must feel that you love them in spite of it. I think that the fishers are pretty sensitive to these youngsters' needs, and I do not think that they will persist in this type of thing when the adoption is completed and they are on their own with them. In regard to agency policy on partial reimbursement, as indicated earlier in the dictation, I had informed the fishers that they could handle this however their budget was able to afford, since we realized there was expense involved in taking this age group of child. In 1955, they paid us $25 for the study fee, and in 1956, they made two payments, one in the amount of $50 and one in the amount of $25. And in 1957, they contributed $100. This is a total of $200 we have received from this family.

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July 3rd, 57. Letter in from the attorney requesting the relinquishment forms. July 9th, 57. The relinquishment sent to Raymond Salisbury Attorney for Mr. and Mrs. Fisher.

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July 23, 1957. In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for the County of Josephine. In the matter of the adoption of Mary Olivia Bowman, a minor, petition for adoption. Come now, your petitioners, and respectfully represent to the court as follows. Roman numeral one, your petitioners intermarried in Glendale, California on November 18, 1944, and are now husband and wife. Petitioners are residents of Josephine County, Oregon, and now reside at 213 East H Street Road, Grants Pass, Oregon. Roman numeral two, your petitioners do not wish to have detailed information as to the family history of the above-named minor, but such information is set forth in the consent to adoption of Catholic services for children, incorporated, attached here to as Exhibit A, relinquishment of natural father, attached here to as Exhibit B, and a certified copy of Order of Multnomah County Circuit Court permanently committing said child to Catholic services for children, attached here to as Exhibit C. Roman numeral 3. As of December 17, 1951, the date of birth of the said minor child, petitioner, Fred Herman Fisher, was 38 years old. Having been born June 9, 1913 at Buer, Germany, was of the white race, was engaged in the occupation of sawmill firemen, and his permanent address, then was Box 3, Murphy Stage Road, Grants Pass, Oregon. Roman numeral 4. As of December 17, 1951, the date of birth of the said minor child, petitioner, Doris Irene Murphy Fisher, the adoptive mother, was 36 years old. Having been born June 21st, 1915, at Sheldon, Iowa, was of the white race and was engaged in the occupation of housewife, and her residence was Box 3, Murphy Stage Road, Grants Pass, Oregon. Roman numeral 5. Your petitioners have had the care, custody, and control of the said minor for the past year. They have come to love the child very dearly as their own and are desirous of adopting her. Your petitioners are of sufficient ability to bring up the child and furnish suitable nurture and education, having reference to the degree and condition of her parents, and it is fit and proper that this adoption be effected. Wherefore, your petitioners pray. For a decree and order of this court as follows. 1. That the absolute care and custody of the said minor child, Mary Olivia Bowman, be hereafter vested in your petitioners, and that the said child be adopted by the petitioners and be to all legal intents and purposes the child of the petitioners. 2. That the name of said child be changed and that she be hereafter lawfully known as Mary Christina Fisher. We, the undersigned Fred Herman Fisher and Doris Irene Murphy Fisher, husband and wife, being each duly sworn, each for himself and not one for the other, say that we are the petitioners above named, and that the foregoing petition is true, as we verily believe. Subscribed and sworn to before me this 23rd day of July, 1957, Raymond J. Salisbury, Notary Public for Oregon.

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July 29th, 57. Petition received by our office. July 30th, 57. Consent to this adoption was forwarded to Mr. Salisbury from our agency.

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July 31, 1957. In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for the County of Josephine, in the matter of the adoption of Mary Olivia Bowman, a minor, consent to adoption. Catholic Services for Children, Incorporated Respectfully, represents that it is, and at all times herein mentioned, has been a child-caring and child-placing corporation, duly authorized, licensed, and incorporated as such under the laws of the state of Oregon, having its principal office in Portland, Multnomah County, Oregon. That the above-named Mary Olivia Bowman is a female child born December 17, 1951, to Gabriel Eastland, being the legally separated wife of Jacob Bowman. That on March 20, 1956, the said Jacob Bowman did, of his own free will, without undue influence from anyone whomsoever, by written instrument, duly surrender, release, and relinquish to said corporation all his parental rights, care, and guardianship to and over said child. That, on June 12, 1956, the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for the County of Multnomah made its order of permanent commitment after due notice to the mother of said child, Gabrielle Eastland Bowman, determining that said child was a dependent minor and permanently committing to Catholic services for children, and authorizing said corporation to place the said child in a family home and to consent to any adoption of said child. That on July 7, 1956, said child was placed in the home of Fred Herman Fisher and Doris Irene Murphy Fisher, husband and wife, who are the petitioners for the adoption of said child, and they have had said child in their care ever since. That a careful study has been made by qualified representatives of said corporation both prior and subsequent to said placement, that said study included the physical condition and general adjustment of said child and such background information as was available and pertinent in determining said child's probable development. Appropriate medical information regarding each of said petitioners, their living arrangements, the verification of their marriage, and consideration of the probable future stability of their marital relationship, the acceptance of said petitioners in their community, their apparent capacity to provide continuing love, security, education, guidance, and care for said child, and for allowing the development of said child's own talents. And that said child's welfare will be protected and advanced through adoption by said petitioners, having reference to the individual circumstances pertaining to said child and said petitioners, and that said petitioners desire to change the name of said child to Mary Christina Fisher. Now, therefore, Catholic Services for Children incorporated hereby consents to the adoption of said child by said petitioners and to the change of name as aforesaid, and respectfully pray this honorable court to grant their petition therefore and recommend such adoption.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

September 10, 57.

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Copies of the decree were received from Mr. Salisbury on this date, and in the very near future, we will send for a corrected baptismal certificate which will be forwarded to the Fishers.

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September 10, 1957. In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for the County of Josephine in the matter of the adoption of Mary Olivia Bowman. Now, therefore, it is ordered, adjudged, and decreed that said minor female child be adopted by petitioners and be to all legal intents and purposes the child of petitioners. That the name of said minor female child be changed to, and that she be hereafter lawfully known as Mary Christina Fisher, and that the records of this adoption proceeding be sealed. To be unsealed only on the order of this court. Orville J. Millard, Circuit Judge.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

February 24th, 1958. Baptismal certificate received. February 25th, 1958. Partial reimbursement of $200 paid. Case closed. There it was.

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At the end of page 52, the second to last page of the Catholic charity's file, a concern. As noted by the caseworker, Mrs. Fisher threatens to send Mary back if she does not behave. But they must feel that you love them in spite of it.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Life with the Fishers began with love. But this is not all that is known.