3 - The Lucky Sock

Welcome back to the LOSERS podcast. In this episode Bo and Konner talk about the L's they took this week: Bo got ghosted by a woman after leaving a strange gift in her apartment and Konner got cooked by his ex-girlfriend through beautiful music. They also discuss the biohacker Bryan Johnson getting diagnosed with an incurable disease and looksmaxxer Clavicular making a trip to Israel. 

Click the link to see Bo and Konner perform at New York Comedy Club on July 31st @6pm!!!

https://newyorkcomedyclub.com/events/chucklefest-2026-07-31180000

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:34

You don't want to talk about politics? You're scared?

SPEAKER_13 0:37

I'm terrified. I don't want to speak on it.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Why are you afraid?

SPEAKER_13 0:40

We have to do an intro.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

No, no, no. No, I want to know. Why are you afraid?

SPEAKER_13 0:43

It's just not my thing.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

You don't want to talk about it? No. For the people?

unknown 0:46

No.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

You don't feel like it's in your the the balls in your court?

SPEAKER_15 0:50

No. Nice. Welcome to the pod.

unknown 0:53

Guys.

SPEAKER_13 0:54

Wait, should we do an intro music?

SPEAKER_15 0:58

Guys, there is an intro. This is the secondary intro. Yes. What is this, bro? Enough of this. Dude, let me be. Let me go.

SPEAKER_13 1:10

Welcome to the losers podcast, episode three, everybody. I'm Bo Bigelow. This is my co-host, Connor Kienzo. What's up, folks?

SPEAKER_02 1:19

It is so good.

SPEAKER_13 1:20

It's Kinsley, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:21

It's yeah, you fucking blew it, dude. We don't know each other at all. I blew my own co-host last name. This podcast is Psyop. We've just been placed together and they're like.

SPEAKER_13 1:29

Did you notice my shirt?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

They're like, no, they place us together and they're like, hey, can you do a podcast and just not talk about politics and just do dumb shit? I'm like, perfect. We'll do that.

SPEAKER_13 1:37

It's exactly what I wanted to do. What's your shirt? It's got an axolotl on it. It's like my favorite shirt. Is that a real animal? It's a real animal. You want to see a video of it? Sure. Look at this. Guys, we're gonna pause real quick. I'll put the video on the screen for this video.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Fantastic. Yeah, we're video now. So if you're listening on Spotify, you can also check it out on YouTube.

SPEAKER_07 1:56

An exotic animal that is native to Mexico. Axolotls are known for their ability to regenerate lost body parts. They can regrow their tail, limbs, spinal cord, and even their brains. And they can do it.

SPEAKER_13 2:12

That's that thing is fully an animal. Regrow its brain. That would help uh John F. Kennedy's sister out. Lobotomy. You're the one who said you didn't want to be able to do that. That's not political. That's just what happened. They they gave her a lobotomy, and if she was an axolato, it sounds like she can regrow her.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

So you're saying all of the Kennedys just mysteriously dying is not political.

SPEAKER_13 2:32

That in a way, that's not political. That's just what happened.

SPEAKER_15 2:37

I think it's extremely political. I think if eight of your family members she didn't die.

SPEAKER_13 2:41

They they thought she was nuts and they and they gave her a lobotomy, and she was like never the same.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Oh, well, that's better. I mean, that's on the let's look on the bright side, folks. She's still alive.

SPEAKER_13 2:50

Uh, don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Don't think so. Yeah, but we're not, it's just not a political podcast. We're just having fun. We're being silly. Welcome to losers. Yeah, welcome.

SPEAKER_13 3:01

Um if you like axolotls, give us a thumbs up on YouTube. It's one of my favorite animals.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

We're gonna figure out a number too. We don't have it yet, but we're gonna figure out a number where you guys can call in. And we want to try to have people call in and like we can work through their problems.

SPEAKER_12 3:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

They can tell us like a like it's they can tell us like the L of the week they've had, or like the biggest L of their life, and we can kind of like play by play it and tell them what they did wrong.

SPEAKER_13 3:23

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

So, Bo, um, let's get let's just dig right into it. What's uh do you want to start or should I? What's L of the week?

SPEAKER_13 3:30

Um I can start. This unfortunately didn't happen this week, but I was thinking of stuff this month. Yeah, that's fine. And this one is really, really uh takes the cake right now. So one time I took a girl out, or I was meeting her at her place. She said she was gonna like uh make like dinner and we'd have wine or like a cheese board and wine at her place. So I'm on the way and she texts me, she goes, I think I want to have a sweet treat tonight. And she gives me four items to pick up at the grocery store. It was like condensed milk, powdered sugar, uh, and eggs. And I get the items, I show up, we hang out, we eat the cheese board, and then she goes, Okay, I'm like ready for a sweet treat. Uh, let's go to um red mango, which is like a froyo place. And I was like, Oh yeah, sounds good. Uh great, but uh didn't I like I brought all this stuff for you for uh dessert? And she goes, Oh no, that's like sort of like a later in this week thing. So I'm sitting there, I'm like, oh, so now I'm grocery boy? That's insane. You don't send somebody to get your groceries for the week and and play it off and make it seem like it was like uh like something that was being made that night.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Yeah, you thought you were gonna like make cookies or something. Yeah, that's what I thought. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_13 4:45

I was really excited about it.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

What did you say to her? Were you like, did you kind of just let it pass, or were you like, no, I what is the deal?

SPEAKER_13 4:51

I called her out on it. I was really annoyed by it. I that's insane, in my opinion. Like if you're a woman and you're listening to the podcast, there's none. Maybe a few. Maybe my mom probably is.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

Oh, that's terri- that's a bad thought.

SPEAKER_13 5:08

Oh no, but uh, so mom. Now I'm speaking at my mom. No, that you can't ask somebody to just get you items, okay? Isn't that what you did to your mom for 18 years? That annoys me. Like it's one thing it's one thing if you're like, hey, like like I I was perfectly fine picking up ingredients. We were gonna make like a a nice cake or something like that together, and now I'm paying for ingredients for you and fro yo. Hey, that's literally not cool at all.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Damn, that dude, that sucks. Was there any did she say anything about like, oh, like maybe you'll come back and like we can use the ingredients? Like, did she play it off? Or what did she say?

SPEAKER_12 5:50

She ghosted me that week.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

Wow, yeah. Do you think she does that every week? Just finds a guy and is like, okay, come over, but like let's pick out a few things and let's do dinner.

SPEAKER_13 5:58

I get ghosted a lot, and yes, I do. And I think I think I should put all the girls who have ever ghosted me in a group chat and just be like, Can you guys just tell me what happened?

SPEAKER_02 6:09

I think you should. I think for the sake of this podcast, they would all probably be friends. You should make a group chat with them and then FaceTime audio all of them. Just be like, hey guys, you're you're now on the show. What did I do wrong?

SPEAKER_13 6:20

Yeah. And just they each take a turn just saying each and like going through, like, oh, you were, you know, you asked for chicken fingers at the restaurant, or you you uh that's a classic boism right there.

SPEAKER_15 6:33

Steakhouse.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Nice steakhouse. You go, how are your chicken fingers tonight?

SPEAKER_13 6:38

Yeah, you know what I did one time. I thought I had cash in my wallet, so I pressed no tip on the gratuity thing, and then I looked in my wallet and there was only a dollar, and uh we had ordered like $60 worth of drinks. This was also recent, and I said to the guy, go, Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought I had more cash to tip you. Can I like put a tip on the on the screen? And he goes, You can't do it anymore. And he was like pissed off.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

You're like, dude, I'm sorry. You're like, let me let me order some let me order like a something that's like a dollar and then I'll add a tip.

SPEAKER_13 7:08

I should have done that, that would have been a really good idea. He should have said that. Well, yeah, I said I could have just gotten another drink and then tipped him like extra for that one. Yeah, you're like, I really don't care that he's an idiot, though. He the service was bad, he didn't even deserve a tip. Then don't I'm I'm a service member, so I I've served, so I always feel like I have to give someone a tip.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

I I respect that. Wait, so okay, this girl, you called her out. How did that play? Uh walk me through that because I need to know those details. You were like, hey, so you made me grocery shop for you, and we're not even gonna use this stuff.

SPEAKER_13 7:38

I said that, and then I was like kind of ragging on her the rest of the night. Like, we we did get frozen yogurt. Um, and I was like, I would just be like, Oh yeah, like that's fine. Like, you know, use those use those items later, I guess like later this week or whatever when I'm not here and I paid for them. And I got really petty, I would say. I'm I could be a little petty. I could totally see that. I could petty up. I could petty up if I need to.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

She's like, This is good. You're like, yeah, but condensed milk's really good. Yeah, yeah. You never drank.

SPEAKER_13 8:10

Have fun with that. Maybe some other guy will come here and make your condensed milk and then fuck you. Because I'm clearly not.

SPEAKER_15 8:16

Did you guys hook up?

SPEAKER_13 8:18

Yeah, we did.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Nice.

SPEAKER_13 8:20

We did, but we didn't.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Maybe that's just her move, like you said. Like she just like invites a channel. It's just it's a stocked pantry.

SPEAKER_13 8:32

That's like a test.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

That's what the picture frames fell again.

SPEAKER_13 8:36

Guys, look, this is still I feel like women are always testing us. Like, I've never wanted to test a woman and be like, that was a test.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Yeah, I haven't either because I feel like it would upset them.

SPEAKER_13 8:46

Yeah, but and they do it to us a lot.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

I guess sometimes I might test a girl just by like making like little jokes to like tease her, maybe sometimes just to see if she's like if she can kind of play fun time. Yeah, to see if she can like banter and stuff. But I don't do tests like that where it's like I'm gonna make him get groceries, and if he complains, that's he's out of the game. That's strike one, two, and three.

SPEAKER_13 9:07

Now that you say it, she probably was pissed off that I complained.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

I think she was. I think it was a test to be like, is this guy like a breadwinner or is he like a little Brooklyn bug who's just like, you made me buy milk for you?

SPEAKER_13 9:21

You're right. You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

I'm not saying you were in the wrong. I think it's crazy to like test someone and be like, Will he buy groceries for me without question?

SPEAKER_12 9:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

But now I'm thinking that she does that all the time. She like invites the guy over, she's like, Hey, can you just like bring over like a rotisserie chicken?

SPEAKER_13 9:36

And like, um her whole fridge is just filled with shit that guy's got her.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

That guy's got her, and she's like, and then she fucks him once and then never calls back. And she's like, Well, I got my food.

SPEAKER_13 9:48

Yeah, it is a good exchange. It's like I got my fuck and I got my food, so now we're we'll go our separate ways.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

She's like, Can you pick me up some tilapia fillets? She's like, 'cause I just feel like it'd be nice to like make like a midnight snack.

SPEAKER_12 10:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

And then after you fuck, you're like, hey, so are we gonna like make fish stick now? She's like, what? And you're like, the fish I got you. She's like, Oh, I'm so tired. Let's we'll just we'll do that for breakfast. And then it's breakfast, and you're like, Okay, hey, are we gonna cook that fish? She's like, Why would we make fish for breakfast? And then she's trying to make you crazy.

SPEAKER_12 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

You're like, oh yeah, I guess that is weird to make for breakfast. You're like, so I guess we just won't.

SPEAKER_13 10:23

She's like, I'll just make that later in the week, actually. She's like, Yeah, don't worry about it. Okay, that's fine. Make it later in the week. And you're like, well, it was $29.99. Yeah, that's what I did. Because I'm like, did you keep poor?

SPEAKER_15 10:36

Did you keep bringing up the price? You're like, well, condensed milk is $6.99.

SPEAKER_13 10:39

Yeah, it's expensive because they're not. But by the way, what does it mean? Condensed. What do you what is that? Do you know the process of condensed milk?

SPEAKER_02 10:47

I don't know the process, but I know that it's like thicker milk. It's like thick milk. It's sweet too.

SPEAKER_13 10:52

She wanted you to get thick milk. So what they like because it's used for baking, I think. So they take milk and they just like a hydropressure.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Yes, bro. That's exactly right. Not only is this a political podcast, it's also a scientific one.

SPEAKER_11 11:08

We also talk about condensed milk in this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

But yeah, she was like, Get me my milk. And then she's like, I'll give them more.

SPEAKER_13 11:15

Powdered sugar. Oh, and like vanilla bean or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Yeah, she probably made something really nice for another guy.

SPEAKER_13 11:22

Was I why would maybe actually she maybe made cookies for her boyfriend? Which is still kind of that's kind of a win for me, actually. What do you mean? I've I fucked your girl and she and she used the ingredients that I, out of the niceness as my heart, bought her to make you cookies after I fucked her. And did I say that I fucked her yet? Because yeah, that's what happened.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

So oh, so I so actually the L of the week, you flipped it to a dub.

SPEAKER_13 11:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 11:52

You dude, you could you cookie cocked him. Oh poor fella.

SPEAKER_13 12:00

But yeah, no, that was a that was a terrible. So you what was yours for this week?

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Um oh I mentioned it yesterday. It was it was this one's kind of a story to get into, but basically, I have an ex-girlfriend who is um we broke up I think like a year ago. Right. And she's like a very like artsy type of person, like the you know, into astrology, very artsy, does a lot of music. That's like one of the things we like kind of like first like did when we like met each other in like bondovers, just like playing music and stuff, which is awesome. It's great. Um, I'm like chilling yesterday, just doing work in my room, and I see on Instagram um that it's like, oh, she I see like a post where she's like, I put out a new EP. I was like, oh, that's cool. And I was like, you know what? Like, I'm gonna take a little break from work. I was like, let me let me let me give it a listen. Let me check it out, you know. And as I'm listening, I'm like, wow, this like music is like this is really great music. Like it's really well produced. I'm like, that's amazing. Like, good for her. I'm proud of her for putting that out. That's awesome. And then as I get deeper into the EP, I'm hearing songs where I'm like, oh, I think this is about me.

SPEAKER_13 13:05

Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, I'm because the song was like, Anjo Dick is little. No, Anjo Dick is little. No, don't do that. No, they did that.

SPEAKER_15 13:15

You're making it sound like she's like Aaliyah, she's not RB, dude.

unknown 13:19

Right.

SPEAKER_15 13:19

It's like it's like since she's reggae. No, you got that tiny little shlong, you got that tiny little shlong. Little boy. No, she's not, she's not Jamaican. But the boy. She is not Jamaican. What is that like Indian music?

SPEAKER_13 13:38

I don't know. She clearly don't know a single reggae song.

SPEAKER_15 13:42

No, so no, she did not do a reggae ballad about how tiny my dick is.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

No, it's like it's like very like singer-songwriter-y girl, like synth pop type stuff. But I'm like, as I'm listening through, I'm like, I think this is about me.

SPEAKER_12 13:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

And I don't want to be like self-obsessed about it, but I'm like, because at first it's like vague, it's like just like lyrics where it's just like, you couldn't be like, you know, you couldn't be there.

SPEAKER_13 14:08

You weren't good at scrabble.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

No, it wasn't that. It's like your your Instagram discover page was disturbing to me. I opened it up on accident and I saw giant titties and muscle mommies.

SPEAKER_15 14:28

All it was was garlic steak and titties.

SPEAKER_13 14:32

That's pretty much my algorithm.

SPEAKER_15 14:34

I'm making her out, I'm making it sound like she's a grooner. Yeah, she and it got big old titties on your discovery.

SPEAKER_13 14:40

I feel like that story would almost be like easier for you to handle if it was something really bad. Like if she was like, you're short and you're a bitch and all this stuff. No, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

That's the part of it, is that it wasn't like like I was listening through and it wasn't like you because it wasn't like we like broke up and hated each other necessarily. Like it wasn't that. So she wasn't like, You fuck me, you fucking ruined my life. I hate you. Like, yeah, it was like subtle, but I'm listening through it, and like I think some of the lyrics is it's like, I mean, I I could pull, I don't want to play any of the music because it's like, you know, it's good music, but and that's what makes it even worse. Yeah, but it's like lyrics where it's like there was one verse, it was like there's the yeah, the verse, it's like, you're so important, you'll be on the stage, you'll get your flowers, and I'll just remain, or whatever the lyric was. I'll just do my thing.

SPEAKER_13 15:25

Dude, it's unfortunately a really good song. That's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

I showed it to Bo, and I'm like, this is like a beautiful song. And then as the lyrics come, I'm like, oh, that's I'm the guy, I'm the guy who thinks he's so important and will be on the stage. I'm like, this has to like and the funny thing you pointed this out, but it's like the the the lyrics in the song are referencing that I'm like self-obsessed because I want to be a famous comedian, which is like kind of true. Yes, but then me saying, like, I think this is about me. If it's not about me, then I'm just being self-obsessed.

SPEAKER_13 15:58

It's like the Carly Simon when she's like, You're so vain. Yeah, you know that song? I probably think this song is about you.

SPEAKER_15 16:05

You are, you're so vain that you thought that the song was about you. If it's not about me, then I then it's still true.

SPEAKER_13 16:10

Yes, but I think it is about you.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

It's a lose-lose. She Simon literally you, bro. She wrote the song about how she's like, Oh, I'm so self-obsessed. She's like, that's it wasn't about you. And I'm like, Well, I thought it was.

SPEAKER_15 16:27

But dude, I'm like listening to this, and it's just like, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Like, it's like it's a beautiful song, and it's basically just like, you're a self-obsessed clown. So I would know.

SPEAKER_15 16:37

And I'm like, you got me. That's kind of my whole deal.

SPEAKER_13 16:42

Is I am I only care about it's about me, and she's like, I do really like your Axolato shirt. And then you and then you're like, wait a second, was he banging my girlfriend?

SPEAKER_02 16:52

I didn't even know him back then.

SPEAKER_13 16:54

It's a long play.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Yeah, so that that was kind of my L of the week.

SPEAKER_13 16:58

Um, that's a massive L, by the way. I have to be honest. Oh, it's it's a massive dude.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

It it altered the course of my entire day yesterday.

SPEAKER_13 17:05

That's why you can't date a singer.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

No, dude. The oof. You can't. We were to get because we were together for like a while, so it's like yeah, there's a lot of you know, a lot of content there. Oh my god. I don't think you yeah, you can't date a singer.

SPEAKER_13 17:18

Singing, uh, just like and you were trying to support her yesterday too. You weren't even like listening to her music to be a dick about it. Like I genuinely saw you like excited to check out the album, and that and that was the first play. It was it was tough because it's like digging into it.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah, because I didn't want to listen and be like, this fucking sucks. It's like I've always thought her music's cool and like supported it and was like off like a fan and everything.

SPEAKER_13 17:41

Yeah, and now it's like listening to it. And you guys broke up amicably too, so it's like damn, she cooked you on and musically, dude.

SPEAKER_15 17:50

She musically she musically cooked you.

SPEAKER_13 17:53

She's like, hey clown, go dance on something like that. Getting audibly cooked like that. Getting cooked on Spotify is crazy word, dude.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

On and in a good way, yeah. Like I'm I'm worried that this like pops that this EP like pops off.

SPEAKER_13 18:08

Yeah, gets like a bunch of streams, and then I'm just getting fucking who is Taylor Swift dating that she like popped off in songs about John Mayer? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. We could be completely wrong about that.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

I mean, well, she's done it to like seven people.

SPEAKER_13 18:24

I know, I know. So it's anyone's guys, but that'd be cool if she popped off and you you can claim like being the first guy that she cooked.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Yeah. Um, she's actually dating a woman now, so yes, I don't want to go too much into that, but she is dating a horse, she's dating a horse girl, and I will never recover from that. Yeah, she beat you. It's like as soon as you start to think, like, I'm kind of manly. I know. She comes in, cowboy hat, right? More manly than us, too.

SPEAKER_13 18:49

I'm like, fucked. Yeah, I saw a lesbian plumber the other day. That I did see that. They're out there, dude. Getting ready to just fucking unclog a drain. You see the crack? Uh no. Actually, here that's a she had like one of those, you know how the lesbians wear like the carabiner with the giant keys? Yes. She had like a shit ton of keys and like a plumber, like like button out.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

She had a carabiner with just an actual toilet. It was just a key tea.

SPEAKER_13 19:18

It was like, yes, exactly. A toilet seat that just had a bunch of keys on it.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

You're like, that's and you'll like that's how I know she was a plumber. It's like, no, that's just she was just wearing that because she thought it looked cool.

SPEAKER_13 19:29

That's so that's so sick, though, to be a lesbian plumber.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Um I was gonna say, on the topic of of plumbing, this is kind of another L that you subjected all of us together.

SPEAKER_13 19:40

Oh, you don't need to talk about this.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Are you sure about that? I clogged the toilet.

SPEAKER_13 19:44

Not proud of it. But you clogged and clogged it when I got home.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

You clo you clogged it and we we crossed paths. As I was coming back to the apartment, you were leaving, not a word. You were just like, hey, I'm going out. I'm gonna go, I'm going out eight, have a good night. And I was like, Oh, yeah, thanks, man. You too. I come out.

SPEAKER_13 20:00

Yeah, yeah, I didn't tell you.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Clogged. I would have appreciated a warning.

SPEAKER_15 20:06

Yeah, should have probably because I showed up and I was like, holy shit.

SPEAKER_13 20:09

I was I was crunched for I was crunched on time. I get it. And as everyone knows, when a fella is crunched on time, he's gotta go. Like there, I I can't sit here and have a conversation. Oh, I'm so sorry I clogged the toilet. I got places to be, buddy. I'll text you. We can text, I'll email you, I'll send you an email. But you didn't do that either. Yeah, I try, I I kind of ghost fit. It wasn't really my fault, to be honest. My cousin had a bunch of friends over, and one of them definitely clogged it before me. That's my that is my take. I will die on that hill.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

I mean, it's it is very possible. We had four guys in this apartment this weekend. Two of them were on an air mattress right here.

SPEAKER_13 20:45

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Every and everyone's just taking just brutal hangover shits in that battery. Oh, oof. This this place is not uh suited for four dudes, not suited for four dudes at all.

SPEAKER_13 20:56

But we made it work. You if you guys could see it right now, you'd recognize that it's pretty small.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Dude, that toilet was just getting freaking just slammed through.

SPEAKER_15 21:05

Yeah, ran through, just running a train on the bowl.

SPEAKER_13 21:09

I know. He was I heard him when I his his uh bowl is right next to my room, and I heard him, he was like, No!

SPEAKER_02 21:19

That's the toilet, yeah. That's the toilet. That's my personal.

SPEAKER_15 21:26

He's like, You can't all eat Taco Bell and do this to me.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

This isn't fair. That's actually the L of the week for our toilet. Poor guy.

SPEAKER_13 21:35

Yeah, poor toilet, dude. Shout out that guy, Greg. Poor little fella. Fucking Greg man, that's our toilet's name.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Um, yeah, those are I guess those are our L's for the week.

SPEAKER_13 21:46

Yeah. Oh, my other L for the week is I've been trying to get my uh license to be an unarmed security guard in the state of New York City uh because I need another side gig. And I finally got my fingerprints taken, which took me 10. Days after I booked an appointment because they have to verify your identity. And I finally I'm like filling out all the forms, and it turns out that I need a New York ID. So I have to wait another 10 days until I can send those forms in. Uh, because my California ID will not work for unarmed security work in the state of New York City. Yeah. So well, because it's a prestigious like profession. It is, it's very prestigious. If you've ever been to a CVS or anything of that sort, the guys who just stand there and bro, don't do shit, that's that job. So I'm pretty excited about it.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Yeah, well, they they're standing there because they're waiting to activate.

SPEAKER_13 22:39

Yes, they're waiting. You're waiting, like it's sort of like, yo, who's gonna test me today?

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yeah, they're like they're like the guy, the guards at like the British like palace. Yeah. That just stand there like expressionless. Yes, yes, and they don't do anything until they're touched.

SPEAKER_13 22:52

But once they're touched, freaking Yeah, it's like a meathead or something like that. I don't think it's a meathead. Beef eater, a beef eater. Beef eater. Yeah, but New Jersey.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Yes. I think you're right, beef eaters. Yeah, beef eaters. That's like the CVS guys, they're like the same.

SPEAKER_13 23:10

Yeah, they just as well. They literally instruct you when you take these courses that unless, like, I mean, you have the right to self-defense. If I punch you in the face right now, which I won't, um you can defend yourself legally against me. Yeah that's all that's all I can do as an unarmed security guard, is I have the right to self-defense like every other citizen. And then if something goes awry, I call the cops, like every other citizen.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

So you pretty much are just like there as like a you're basically like the substitute teacher of the CS.

SPEAKER_13 23:42

Yes, yes, exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Like you sit there, people come in, yes, they start throwing shit at it.

SPEAKER_13 23:48

Someone grabbing, you know, a bunch of uh deodorant cans and and things off the wall, and they're putting it in a bunch of bags, and they leave, and you go, Oh shit. Hey, 911. Do you want to be the 911 operator when I call you when I see someone looting something? Sure.

SPEAKER_12 24:06

Okay.

unknown 24:09

Fucking hey, they're fucking looting.

SPEAKER_13 24:12

Fucking it's white people though.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

911, what's your emergency?

SPEAKER_13 24:18

Hey, I I work at the CVS in Brooklyn, New York. Uh it's like right by Deb of Wah Street. There's like a bunch of guys. Uh what? We'll be right back. Wait, you can't call I'm I just called you about a situation happening. Dude. Oh my god. Guys, guys, stop! Stop taking that stuff. Stop taking that stuff. Stop taking that story. 911, we're back. Sorry, put you on hold. What's your emergency story? So, uh like I said, before you put my. Sorry, we're gonna have to put you on hold real quick. Oh my gosh. Please stop taking that stuff. Please stop taking that stuff. Please stop taking. They're not they're not stopping. 911, what's your emergency store? One of the guys is taking a shit in the middle of the store. They have a whole sofa futon on their hands now.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

I'm gonna need you to calm down. I'm gonna need you to calm down. What's your name? My name is Bo Bigelow. Okay, but what is the address of the C V S that you're at?

SPEAKER_13 25:17

This is gonna be the one right up Debouvoir Street. It's on the corner of Debouvoir and how do you spell that? Dude, it's uh it's it's French. It's like D-E-B-E-V-S, or it's either a S or a C E.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Okay, great. You're at the C V S at Debouvoir. Okay, what's what is happening, sir?

SPEAKER_13 25:34

Right by Flatbush.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

And what is happening, sir?

SPEAKER_13 25:36

Um, so there's a few guys, one of them, like I said, taking a big old shit in the middle of the store. The other guy's grabbing a futon, and they have like deodorant cans and stuff like that, and they're bringing them out of the store. And it's uh it's getting out of hand, and I I'm an unarmed security guard, so I can't do anything about it except for call you to bring can you bring dispatch this or your uh can you bring the cops here?

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Sh um well, sir, what is the crime that is happening? I'm I'm not I'm not sound like they're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_13 26:02

They're stealing from the store.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Oh, well that's fine. They're stealing from the store. Yeah, we don't no, we don't you can't call us for that. What do what do you do? What is your job? Um I mean we, you know, if there's like a parade, we show up and tell people to don't go this year.

SPEAKER_13 26:19

You guys are the cops. You're supposed to come if somebody's looting from a store. No, that's your job. I'm unarmed. I just took my certification, I just sent my my license in to get it changed to New York Registry. I sent my envelope in and I'm gonna need you to calm down.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Okay? If you don't if you don't calm down, we're gonna have to send a squad car and we're gonna detain you because you because you are being very aggressive. Okay? Now tell me one more time. You said there there are people stealing?

SPEAKER_13 26:50

Yes. Three gentlemen, white guys. This time. Excuse me? They're white. What do you mean by this time? No, it's just like a throw in, like I don't I don't even I don't mean anything by it.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

It was just you you chose to say this time. Sir, we're gonna have to put you on hold. Hi there, sir. Sorry for putting you on hold. Uh, what is your emergency? They shot me. Um okay, um the white guys. Okay, let's not be dramatic here.

SPEAKER_11 27:26

They shot me.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Um, sir, what is your where are you? What is your name? Sir, what's your name? The Debavoy. Your name is Deba Voy. Okay. Okay, you're French. Your name is Deba Voy. Sir, what crime is happening?

SPEAKER_11 27:41

And the principal on the floor and with a futon, and there's a guy taking the deodorants and stuff, and they shot me and brought out like a gun and shot me.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

You're saying somebody shot you?

unknown 27:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Okay, what kind of gun was it? Sir. It was a nerf gun, bro. I'm just fucking with you. And that, folks, is how the New York police system works. Bingo!

SPEAKER_13 28:11

Bingo! Wow. Did you see the spin that I put on it? Because you thought that I get shot in the video, but then you're like, oh shit, no, it's just a nerf gun. Oh, dude, what's silly fun?

SPEAKER_02 28:21

So much silly fun. Have you ever called that?

SPEAKER_13 28:23

That's that's that's that's a whole year of groundlings training right there. It's such a loser.

SPEAKER_15 28:30

Hey, I have a year of groundlings training too. And that's why we're both on this catch-up. Really?

SPEAKER_13 28:34

Because I had my uh private meeting with my instructor at the end of Ground Links, and they told me that you didn't have a year of ground links training.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Well, that's funny because I was there before you were.

SPEAKER_13 28:43

Oh, you were?

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_13 28:45

And that's funny because they told me, they told me specifically that you quit. I was in the ground. Because you couldn't handle the heat.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

No, no, no, no, no. When did you go to the ground links? Uh in 2024, 2024. Oh, after COVID. Well, this isn't even a serious conversation then. I went to the Ground Links in 2018. What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_13 29:04

Oh, okay. 2018. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I believe that. I'm sure. I'm sure that's.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Yeah, I went there and I was like, have you heard of a guy named Bo? They're like, oh, we don't even know a Bo. That the we have no idea. I said Bo Bigelow, and you go, Oh, well, we've we've never seen him ever on the scene. Oh, really? That's like, oh, that's because he hasn't even started doing stand-up yet. That's funny. Oh, I go, he's actually still a baby boy in eighth grade or whatever. I was like, I was I was a fully grown.

SPEAKER_13 29:28

Damn dude, stop. What? Stop, dude. No, no, no. You're cooking me too hard.

SPEAKER_15 29:32

No, I don't want the heat anymore. Dude, I'm gonna quit. I'm in a little bit of a mood because I got cooked through beautiful music that's going to haunt me for years to come.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

So don't don't be don't be coming at me because you got you got a little feelings hurt. You don't have to I've been shaken in my core. I've been called a a a spotlight whore.

SPEAKER_12 29:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

I've been called a a an attention-loving clown in the key of G or whatever key it was. I don't know. You don't need to take it out on me. Actually, dude, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_13 30:02

It's okay. I forgot.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

We should have some solidarity amongst losers.

SPEAKER_13 30:05

Do you do you still follow this girl on Instagram and stuff?

SPEAKER_02 30:09

I do. I didn't do like the full blocking or whatever.

SPEAKER_13 30:11

No, neither did me and my ex from three years ago, and then she just unfollowed me like two months ago. Not that I was checking or anything.

SPEAKER_16 30:19

Oh man.

SPEAKER_13 30:20

No, I I genuinely sometimes like I saw her post up and I always like her post because I'm not an asshole. And she's like, fine. And then I was like, I wonder if she still follows me. And I I looked and she didn't.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

And you're like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_13 30:33

That was that was that was finally after three years of not being together. I was like, oh, I think it's over.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

It's like what I now it's over.

SPEAKER_13 30:42

Wait a second. It's over.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

Yeah. Yeah, that's like me listening to this album. Like, oh yeah, no, it's yeah. I'm like fully a chapter in the book that's just been closed. Yeah, it's completely closed.

SPEAKER_12 30:56

She's having fun now.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

Oh fuck. Yep. That dude, that one's crazy.

SPEAKER_13 31:02

Yeah, that that that's that's a tough hit.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

That's an L of the week for sure. Does that ever happen to you, anyone listening? Probably not.

SPEAKER_13 31:09

That doesn't happen to most people.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

The worst. I'm just here's here's the thing. I'm just glad that she didn't like chapel rowing me.

SPEAKER_12 31:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

And she was like, like some song about how I like don't know how to eat pussy or something.

SPEAKER_12 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

Because Chapel loves doing that. Chapel loves being like guys with their jeans, they don't know how to please me. Yeah. Like, like she, like that's like her like discography is basically that over and over again. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I'm really glad that I didn't get that version of the song. Yeah. Like ours, it like the song she wrote is very like an emotional-based thing about how I'm just like uh how about how I'm emotionally vacant and distant, which is a true fact.

SPEAKER_13 31:46

And you just like uh you're a narcissist, you don't really care about her thought process. Somewhat.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

Things like I'm not saying that's true, but well, it is, but yes, look, I'm working on that.

SPEAKER_13 31:56

It's like very little minute things that you don't pay attention to because you don't pay attention to detail in her life and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

But and while that is bad, I am glad that it wasn't like the the again, the Chapel Rowan song about how it's like he doesn't know how to eat pussy, he has no style, he can't dance. Yes, like he like his shirts never look good.

SPEAKER_11 32:17

I got a wedgie.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Like if if her song was about how like his pants his shirts never look good. Yeah, and she's like he has shorts.

SPEAKER_13 32:24

Imagine if he had a shirt with a nexolotl on it. Boy with a nexolotl on it.

SPEAKER_16 32:29

Exil on it. Nexal on it. Oh my god. Exolit.

SPEAKER_13 32:34

Wait, did I did I tell you this story about this about the sock girl? Um did you? I don't think so. Okay, this is a this is a big yellow. Definitely not on the pod. So Knicks win the championship. Whole cities are up to big dub. I'm up. I'm fucking, I'm swinging, I'm fist bumping in the streets. I'm going crazy. I'm texting my boy Connor. He won like a thousand dollars that night. I'm like, yeah, Nick, I won't. I go out with a friend of mine who I went to college with, and uh, three of her cousins are there. We have a ball, and one of her cousins, I notice, is very attractive. So naturally, as the person I am, I start flirting with her. She's reciprocating, flirting back, and I'm like, oh, I wonder what's gonna happen tonight. So she takes me back to her place, um, which is amazing. We have like a really fun night, we chat, everything's good. She tells me that she really wants me to take her on a date that week. I'm like, I would, I'm like in my head, I'm like, yeah, I totally would. She's really cool. And then we wake up in the morning. Um, I had to go edit a podcast, and I told her I was like looking for my socks, uh, because I took my socks off, and I couldn't find one of them. So I said to her, and I thought this was romantic, and I'm probably wrong in hindsight, it's probably cringy. Whatever though, I'm in the moment. I said to her, I go, Hey, um, I'm gonna leave one of my socks here so that way you know that I mean business when it comes to taking you out. And she's like, This is this is my impression of her. Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. And I'm like, awesome. Give her a hug, kiss on the cheek, leave. That week, getting ghosted the whole week. What's new? I text her, I go, hey, I would really like to take you out. I wasn't kidding, like, let's do something. She hits me with a three days later, she says, Okay, can I be honest? And I I see that text, I see her name pop up. I'm like, yes, she texts me back, and then I see, can I be honest? I go, Oh, fuck, oh fuck, fuck. No, no. Oh, wait, that's the wrong button.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Oh, not the applause.

SPEAKER_13 34:39

And then she texts me and she's like, I'm super busy this summer, just oh shit. And then finally, I text her back and I go, That's fine. And I know this is gonna sound crazy, but that sock that I left you was one of my favorite socks. And if I could bring them out for the podcast, you would see how cool they are. They have stars on the sides, and I'm a I'm an eccentric guy, so I like stuff like that. And I said, I can I just come and pick the up the sock. And so now I'm getting ghosted not even to take her out on a date just to pick a sock up, bro.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Like wait, and just so you be you're you're telling the story to ask me if I think you blew it. No, I blew it for sure.

SPEAKER_15 35:22

I wasn't sure if you were like now.

SPEAKER_13 35:25

It's like she doesn't even respect me enough to give me an article of clothing back. No, dude. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, you t I I I'm I'm like typing out a testimony, you took everything from me. You took my heart, you took my soul, and now you took my sock, and I like those socks. Okay, I wear those socks almost every time I get on a stage, and you took them from me.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

I I just I love that your idea of like a romantic gesture is like Yeah, how about my versions of romantic gestures?

SPEAKER_16 35:58

I'm leaving you a sock to remember me by my darling. I'm leaving you a my darling. I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you a sock, my darling. I'm leaving you a cummy sock to remember me. No, it wasn't cummy. Well, we'll see about that.

SPEAKER_13 36:10

It was not cummy. That's disgusting. That's probably what she thought.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

No, no, she picked it up and she was like, Why would she think that my sock was cummy? I just think, I don't know. I think if you see a dude's sock, if you're a chick and there's like one lone sock in your apartment, your first thought is like, oh, he left it. It's probably all gross. No. My darling. I love it. It's like it's like it's like filming. My darling, can I come pick up my sock? I love it. It's like filmed in the style of like Casablanca. It's like black and white. Like, baby, I'm gonna be gone for a long time.

SPEAKER_13 36:40

Uh, what's that? But I'm gonna leave us. I'll leave something to remember me. He was like that really famous actor back then. He was like in the middle of the city. Jimmy Stewart? Yeah. Uh let me look it up.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Humphrey Bogart. Well, Humphrey Bogart's Casablanca. Uh I'll tell you right now. Listen, darling, I'm gonna be gone for a long time.

SPEAKER_17 36:55

Yeah, that voice. Going to the Seychelles. I'm going to the Seychelles to investigate a murder. But I'm gonna leave it with something to remember me by, Dollface. I'll sock. I'm gonna leave a sweaty tube sock to remember me by, sweetheart. Don't spend it all in one place, dollface.

SPEAKER_13 37:10

It's James Stewart. Wait, okay. But yeah, you kind of did it. James Stewart. Yeah, Jimmy Stewart. Yeah, Jimmy Stewart.

SPEAKER_17 37:16

Jimmy Stewart's like, ha, man.

SPEAKER_13 37:17

See it.

SPEAKER_17 37:18

It's a wonderful life, see?

SPEAKER_13 37:20

Yeah, see, beautiful. It's a wonderful life. And I left my sock then.

SPEAKER_17 37:24

Why are you treating me like I'm crazy? I'm not crazy. It's not a cum crazy.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

It's just a sock that I want, Tom Link. It's just a sock. Well, I'm worried that there's cum in the sock. There's no cum in the sock. I left the sock because I wanted the sock.

SPEAKER_04 37:35

Well, there's a weird one.

SPEAKER_13 37:37

I left it as a gesture. I wanted to take you down again. It was a gesture. It was kindness to my mom, and I swear to I swear to mama.

SPEAKER_04 37:45

Jimmy, I'm sorry, but I'm spoken for. Mikey Magerson. Mikey Matthewson left me a sock before he went to the war. I'm not going to the war. I already have a sock. I'm not going to the war. I just want my sock. You don't have to. I don't have to take you out to eat. It's just a sock. But Jimmy, I can't have two socks. I'm already spoken for.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

And then she puts both on and she starts doing hand puppets.

SPEAKER_12 38:09

Well done.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

No, I love you.

SPEAKER_13 38:11

Yeah. Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

No, she no, she puts them on and she makes them fight for her.

SPEAKER_13 38:15

So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna break into the colour. And it's all filmed and blanked. Get my sock and break out. Can you break out of somewhere? I mean like jail.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Prison.

SPEAKER_13 38:25

Oh yeah. Jail's the only place that you don't want to be inside that you have to break out of.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

You're gonna break in to go get a sock.

SPEAKER_13 38:33

She wanted to haven't gotten the sock. She broke out of my heart. No. No, I haven't gotten the sock. No, she broke your heart. No, does it do I look like I have the fucking sock back? I have no idea. Do I look like I have the sock back? You don't seem like you have the sock.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

I don't have the fuck back because you're getting really aggressive.

SPEAKER_13 38:48

Yeah, because I don't have the sock back and I'm pretty fucking pissed off about it. Whoa. We're gonna go to commercial. You know what's funny? No, yeah, just I'm gonna crash out over this.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Over a sock. I just we haven't talked about this on the pod, have we? Uh I feel like we were talking, maybe not on the maybe we talked about it in general. Well, I just I remember because I remember you told me this story, and then the first thing I said was I was like, you're basically like Dobby, but like for pussy.

SPEAKER_12 39:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:23

Well you're like, I need my sock back. Please, may I get my sock back, Master? He's like, give no, it's not Is it not master?

SPEAKER_15 39:32

Well, I think he says master.

SPEAKER_05 39:34

Master, master, may I have my sock back? Dobby wants his sock! Doby needs a cum sock.

SPEAKER_13 39:41

It's not a cum sock. For the 100th time, it's a regular sock. First of all, I've never done that before in my life because it doesn't make any sense. Well, that's a good point. Because I don't do either.

SPEAKER_02 39:53

It's gross. Just use your hand. It's also gross. It's like that's how you get like uh like staph infection or something. Like a sweaty sock, and then you're gonna put it on on your most prized possess on your most prized body part. Yeah. Why would why would we do that? Why are we doing that?

SPEAKER_13 40:07

I don't know. I've I've always wondered why that was a thing ever since I was a kid, and I heard it.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

I simply don't understand. It's called a cum sock.

SPEAKER_13 40:14

Just just use your own sock, just use your hand.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Why would one use a sock? It's all sweaty. I don't want staff infection on my penis.

SPEAKER_13 40:21

It is a good way to get a girl pregnant, though.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Which makes no sense. Um a lot of people don't know this, but actually, cum socks are getting a lot of women pregnant these days. That's a bad thing. That's not what the Democrats want.

SPEAKER_13 40:34

Hey, let me ask you this. Are Labooo Boos out of style now? Are no one no one's really boo-booing up?

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Well, La Boo-Boo, whatever that means, um, they are out of style. Yeah, they're gone. I mean, uh, you see them on like a millennial girls like personal.

SPEAKER_13 40:46

Dude, 2024 was was the Costco guys, La Boo-Boo's Boom, and uh uh what's that little guy's name? The Rizzler. Rizzler. And uh girl who goes uh who goes um you gotta spit on that thing. She's done, dude.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

She's done, dude. By the time the Rizzler, by the time the Rizzler hits 25, he's gonna be like 400 pounds.

SPEAKER_13 41:08

I know, I know. But he's he's like he's uh a true symbol of American exception and American exceptional. Imagine, dude, imagine this if like say exceptionalism.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Imagine if like the Rizzler, he's 25, he becomes president, but he's so fat that he has like four drones like fly him around in a hammock. Oh yeah, that would be pretty much he's like the villain from the operate the drones, we wouldn't. It'd be the secret service. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_13 41:36

Yes, yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

And he'd fly, he'd like be flown around in this hammock, let's like carry by drones. And then it'd be like, like we'd be in we'd still be in a war with Iran, and he'd be like, boom.

SPEAKER_13 41:49

I used to love those guys. I'm not gonna be like this.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Iran has issued a threat against the Rizzler, and then he's like, you know what we do? Boom!

SPEAKER_13 41:56

And then he just launches the boom thing. Doesn't he? Now big AJ does.

SPEAKER_15 41:59

Well, he'll be dead by then.

SPEAKER_13 42:01

He goes, I'm gonna give that thing five booms, boom, boom. And then everyone for a period of time we were like, let him cook, and then now we're like, mm-mm. It's over. It's a little much, it's over, pal.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

I think the Rizzler, if he if he becomes president, he would turn on Big Justice or AJ. Yes, he'd be like, You guys abused me, yeah, and now I'm gonna put you in a work camp.

SPEAKER_13 42:22

You're right, it's all over.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

And then and then AJ would be in the world.

SPEAKER_13 42:25

It's like the Uyghurs in China. Yeah. The Uyghurs. People forget about the Uyghurs. That's all I'm saying. They do. People be forgetting. Let's talk about uh world news. I know you had a funny story about uh what's his name that uh well, there's a couple, yeah. I like the one about the See.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

One thing we want to try to do, this show is kind of for us to this basically just free therapy for us. Yeah, and it's bad therapy because we give each other bad advice. I'm like, you should go break into that girl's house and pretend to be Dobby. Yes. Imagine if you showed up dressed as Dobby and you're like, Dobby wants his sock! And she's like, What are you doing? You're like, if I don't get my sock, I can't nut again.

SPEAKER_12 43:05

Yes, yes, you hold the sock.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

That's like your version of Dobby. It's like if you don't get the sock back, you can never nut again.

SPEAKER_13 43:10

Absolutely. I I I'm just not following it. And and that, but you're not following?

unknown 43:17

No.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

You don't get it?

unknown 43:19

No.

SPEAKER_02 43:19

In the in the movie, Dobby is. I get it. Yes, Dobby is like basically a I don't like Yeah, he wants his sock. I don't like using this word, but Dobby is a slave to Malfoy. A goblin. No, I just mean like he is like in servitude to Malfoy, like he is like an indentured servitude.

SPEAKER_13 43:35

Malfoy's dad, though, right?

SPEAKER_02 43:36

His dad. Yeah. But then Harry gifts Dobby a sock because they're not allowed to have clothing, but he gives him a sock, and once he gets a sock, Dobby's like, I'm free!

SPEAKER_12 43:45

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

So I'm saying you should go to this girl's place, and I'll film it because content, dressed as Dobby, and be like, Bo wants his sock.

SPEAKER_13 43:54

Maybe that will help me out with her. If you're listening to the pod, she's not, buddy. She's not.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

Maybe she is though. I don't know.

SPEAKER_13 44:02

I don't know. If she is, though, she's gonna be really annoyed.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

No, this actually is kind of funny because there has been some instances where it's like there's a girl where it's like, I met we met on hinge. Maybe we went on one date. Maybe we don't go to any dates, but we've I've been going on dates lately. I have too. And I you follow each other on Instagram, but then maybe she's like, hey, I don't really want to do this anymore. Yeah. But then you still see her looking at your stories.

SPEAKER_12 44:23

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Like there was a girl, and I've mentioned her to you before, where it's like, this was like a while back. We met on Hinge. I was like, this is like one of the most beautiful chicks I've ever seen in my life. How do we match? Like, this is amazing. And we were scheduling to try to meet, literally, scheduled like twice. She canceled both times. The third time, I was like, fine, I'll try one more time. She canceled. I was like, okay, I'm not, I'm just not gonna try again. Yeah, but she'll like I'll she still like watches my stories. Interesting. And I'm like, why are you why are you watching my live? Watching my stories. So maybe this girl that you're talking about, maybe she is listening to the pod. If she is, you gotta commit to the bit.

SPEAKER_13 44:54

If she is, I'm still down. That's it. Yes. I'm still I would still take you out.

SPEAKER_02 45:02

But, anyways, what were we gonna talk about?

SPEAKER_13 45:04

Uh, we were gonna talk about major world events. Uh, the one I was thinking about is the guy, I forget what his name is. He was like injecting his son's like blood to make himself younger.

SPEAKER_02 45:14

There's that's Brian Johnson.

SPEAKER_13 45:15

Okay, can you explain the Brian Johnson story?

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Of course, there's Mitch McConnell, there's Lindsey Graham. I mean, we got a lot to get into. Let's start with Brian Johnson. Okay, Brian Johnson. Uh, this guy is the loser of the week. Um, and that's a new thing we're gonna try to do on the show, guys. We're trying to do there we go.

SPEAKER_13 45:29

Wait, what's the say it again and I'll do the uh well, let me interrupt.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Let me this one here. Okay. Let me in uh yeah, let me introduce real quick. So we're gonna try to do a new segment called Loser of the Week, where this is loser of the week. After we've kind of gone through our L's and tried to like self-therapise in a really harmful way. Um, then we'll move on to talking about Loser of the Week, which is just someone from like culture, the news, whatever, who's just like taken a massive L. Yep. So this week's Loser of the Week is Brian Johnson. No Bo. It's that one. Okay. This week's Loser of the Week is Brian Johnson. So basically, Brian Johnson is a entrepreneur millionaire type guy who became one of those like biohacking people who like is obsessed with like living forever, like it like trying to like elongate their lifespan. So he basically started going on this like crazy regiment of like vitamins, pills, uh, everything like peptides, injections. Yeah, and then he was also like he was like injecting his son's blood. This guy, Brian Johnson, his son, he was like injecting his son's blood into him, like doing like blood transfusions basically to give him like fresh blood. So he's using his own son as like a blood bag. So insane. To like and he looked the thing is, and this is like the case with so many of these biohacking people, is like this guy, I think it was recorded that he was Can you explain biohacking? Biohacking is just the concept of hacking your biology to live longer, longer. So it's like injecting yourself with stuff, doing like gene therapy, doing like tran like fucking new organs and shit, like all kinds, it's crazy. Yeah, um, but this guy at one point was spending two million dollars on this, and he still looks creepy and weird. Yeah, like pull up a picture of him and we'll put we'll put it on the screen here too. But like, he's still like he like two million dollars and you look like that? Look at that! Yeah, it's disgusting. He looks like a vampire. He really creeps me out. I'm not gonna lie. He's so creepy, he's like, Well, hello. Um uh some say I could live to 150. How old is he? Um, let me look this up. I can feel it. Wait, you look it up and I'm gonna pull up this screen.

SPEAKER_13 47:52

Okay, so like, yeah, does he look like slightly younger than most 48-year-olds in the face? I guess a little bit, but he doesn't look like a teenager in the city.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

No, he looks like a guy at a club who is trying to look younger, but everyone knows that he's not. Yes, yeah, yeah. It's almost like fake. Yeah, he's the guy at the club who's like gotten like a little Botox. Right. And like he thinks that everyone thinks that he's 20. Yes. But everyone looks at him and goes, Ew, you're like 45. Why are you here?

SPEAKER_13 48:17

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

But in his mind, he's like, Whoa, I'm with the kids. Hey, yes, dude. Like, he has no idea that like people look at him and go, dude, you're old and creepy.

SPEAKER_13 48:26

He quoted, My stomach is eating itself from the inside.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Yeah, so here is why this guy is the loser of the week. Basically, he's for the last like five years, he's been spending two upwards of two million dollars a year on just this like health regimen of like peptides and vitamins and shit. Two million dollars a year. And and they're also doing like crazy blood tests, MRIs, full body scans. I mean, everything. And apparently they didn't pick up on the fact that he has an incurable stomach disease, yeah. Called, I don't remember, it's like gastritis or something, right? Where the lining of his stomach, like his own stomach is eating itself. Wow, wow, and it's like slowly killing him.

SPEAKER_13 49:07

See, and and just to you might have already said this, but is this because of the regimen that he has, or is this just something he's been born with?

SPEAKER_02 49:14

I think it's just something that he's just born with. I don't think it has anything to do with what he was doing to himself, as far as I could tell. But it's crazy. It's like to spend that much money and then you don't realize that you have a disease where your stomach eats itself.

SPEAKER_13 49:26

Until now.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

I think well, there's a clip here that I can play where he's talking about it. Let me see if I can find this.

SPEAKER_00 49:32

Um Brian Johnson says he's been diagnosed with autoimmune gastritis, a condition where the immune system literally attacks the stomach line. It is true.

SPEAKER_09 49:42

That's actually my stomach is eating itself, and here is why that makes me excited. For context, I was diagnosed with autoimmune thyroid disease at age 21. This is decades before I started my protocol. Autoimmune gastritis affects millions of people around the world, and it currently has no cure. We are going to try to solve that. A few days ago, I had a massive blood draw. We are sequencing one million of my immune cells. We're doing this because you have trillions of immune cells in your body that operate as soldiers. Each one of these immune cells or soldiers carries a specific key that is designed to kill a specific threat like a virus or bacteria. By identifying which of these immune cells are the rogue soldiers. From there, we can design specific solutions to stop their attacks. There are a ton of ideas online on how we can find a cure. And friends, I just want to tell you I appreciate you. I appreciate the effort, the concern, and the want to find a cure. Now, when trying to find a cure, we are agnostic. We're going to follow the data. We want this to be methodical and reproducible so it can work in others too. So this likely isn't as simple as one cause, one fix. There is a stigma around getting a diagnosis. People think it's bad. I think it's great. The earlier you know, the better you are. I want to diagnose every single thing in my body. I genuinely appreciate all the kindness and support from all of you. I've received so many.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

There's no kindness support. Everyone's clouding them on my life. He's like, no, it's good. It's exciting.

SPEAKER_12 51:06

That's what it feels like.

SPEAKER_02 51:07

No, that's why these people are insane.

SPEAKER_12 51:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

He's like, I'm excited. He's like, my stomach's eating itself. This is exciting news.

SPEAKER_13 51:16

It's so funny because my sisters are always like this, where I mean, not to that extent, but they'll just have like foods that they're like, you can't eat that because there's there's some sort of you know, micro thing that's happening in it that like gives you cancer and you can't microwave your food because that could and I'm after a while, I just go, Oh, it sounds like everything gives me cancer. So why would I waste my time trying to pinpoint like four things that are not even that big of a deal? Like if yes, if I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, I'm gonna get cancer, probably. But if I smoke a cigarette every three months, maybe it takes two years off my life. Do I care that much? No, I'm gonna die anyways.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

Yes. Well, there's all there's also load just on the cigarette thing, there's loads of people in like parts of Europe, like Italy, they call it like the blue zone. Right. Where people like old, there are people that are like 80 and they've smoked their whole life and they have no lung cancer. I know.

SPEAKER_12 52:05

I've thought about that.

SPEAKER_02 52:06

So it's like I think we just need to accept that living in America and living in a city like New York, yeah, it's like, what, I'm not gonna eat the the spinach because it's got like glycogen in it or whatever the fuck you just said. It's like what is glycogen? I don't know, but it's a thing I've heard. And it's like it's like, what are we talking about? I live, I'm like, you step outside and it's like wrapping your mouth around a tailpipe of a bus. Dude. And it's like, I'm gonna care about the the berries being having the bad stuff in it. It's like, what are we talking about? Um so this guy, I mean, this he's like, you just see the insanity in his eyes, in his in his Botox ridden face, where he's like, no, it's great. Yeah, it's good that I have this disease, because then that that gives me a purpose. That's the whole point of this. Right.

SPEAKER_13 52:51

Is that you could say that about anything though? You could be like, it's a good thing I broke my leg because it teaches me to use one leg.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

And you're like, Yeah, it's like, yeah, sure. Sure. That's great. Sure, sure, Pyle. But it's like you these people, you look at him and you're like, What is like why are you why are you alive?

SPEAKER_12 53:09

Yeah, yeah. What is the what is the what is the reasoning?

SPEAKER_02 53:12

What is the need to be 140? Yeah, it's like because then because he's clearly obsessed with this, he clearly doesn't care about anything else. I mean, he's using his son as a blood bag. Yeah, he clearly doesn't care about anything else other than this. So it's like if your obsession is elongating your life, it's like to what end? Yes, because he because clearly the only thing he gets excited about is the terminal disease that he just got diagnosed with.

SPEAKER_13 53:37

There's a comedian named Pat Bercher. Shout out Pat Bercher who has a joke about elongating your life, where he says, if it's like a piece of pizza, you're just adding crust. Yeah, like he's just like, like, if I live to 100, the last 20, like 15 years of that is awful, and I'm dementia, and I don't remember. Like, honestly, let me say this about it. That's a great thing. My dog died four years ago, and he maybe could have survived another two years, but it wasn't worth it because he was sick and he was walking into walls, and he just like he wasn't the same dog anymore. He was slightly deaf, and it wasn't a good lifestyle. Like, I want to be like my dog. Put me down when you see me start to act a fool and not remember people. I'm done. Okay, dude.

SPEAKER_02 54:23

No, that I agree. The crust thing is a great point. Dude, because my like my grandpa, he lived to be like 95. The last five years, he had like fully had like dementia, yeah, and just like didn't know what was going on. But this guy, bro, this guy was like a paratrooper in the fucking military. Right. Then he left the military, he became a doctor in the town that we're from, made a bunch, like was a very successful doctor, loved by the community, made a lot of money, got a jet, like what got a plane, I mean, and would like fly my like the family to go places. Wow, did all that shit. I think at one point he was also maybe running drugs for South America. Okay, but does that have people do it? You can run drugs through South America. He was doing that. He was skiing like crazy downhill skiing until he was like 85. He took a fall one time when he was 83, and my uncle saw it, and he's like, I fully thought he was dead. Like I saw him fall, and I was like, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_13 55:14

Was he like a bug where he just like was like splattering?

SPEAKER_02 55:16

My uncle said that he was on the chairlift going up and he saw his dad, my grandpa going down the hill. He like caught an edge, tumbled, just and like literally my uncle told me he's like, I was literally watching, he's like, Oh, I'm like my I'm watching my father die. Because he was 83, dude.

SPEAKER_13 55:32

Then he waited so he was just like boom-boom like never-ending yo, just fucking down a mountain.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

My uncle's like, fuck, rushes down to get to him.

SPEAKER_13 55:40

Did us did a cartoon xylophone play as yes.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

I don't know. In my uncle's head, I don't think it was a cartoon xylophone. I think he's like, Holy shit. My father's dying. So he dude, he zooms down the mountain, gets to my grandpa, and he gets, and then my grandpa's like sitting there and he's like gathering all of his shit's everywhere, and he's just like strapping his gear back on. And my uncle's like, Are you okay? He's like, Ah, just a little spill. 82, bro.

SPEAKER_13 56:06

Then he's dude, that generation of man is undefeated. Untouchable. And sure, a lot of them were racist. Sure. You guys can have that. You guys can have that. Well, once he got into the dementia, it got a little fun.

SPEAKER_02 56:18

That's what I was about to say. He lives this entire. 20. Like maybe six.

SPEAKER_13 56:26

Doesn't dementia fuck up your short-term memory, but your long term is fine.

SPEAKER_02 56:30

A little bit, yes. You remember shit from like way back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 56:33

Yeah, he's in a restaurant, he sees some black dudes eating there. He's like, I thought they weren't allowed to eat there. You're like, dude, the dementia's.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

But my point bringing all this up is he lives this incredible life, and then he gets to 90.

SPEAKER_12 56:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

Has dementia. We put him in a home for like five years, and then the rest of his life in the home is just like asking like the nurse aide if she wants to have sex. Like he would he would start like flirting with the women and be like, oh, she's she's looking nice. And he'd be like, Hey, sweetie, you wanna you wanna you wanna take a ride?

SPEAKER_13 57:05

That really scares me because that means that he was still horny at that age. Yes. And I'm really hoping that at some time it diminishes because how I live life right now is I'm horny every second of the day. Yeah, you're like, when does this stop? Dude, that's the difference between men and women. I'm we need women to answer this question, but like, if I were at a funeral and the hottest girl from my high school that I haven't seen in like 10 years texted me out of the blue and goes, Hey, do you want to fuck in the next 20 minutes? I'm dipping out of that funeral. It could, I could be doesn't matter who the family is. No, it doesn't matter, and that's just how my dick is just wired to my brain in my adult life, and it's it's it's painful. It's like actually painful. Like I want it to go away every night before I go to sleep. I go, please get away from stop, stop, stop, stop. But it never goes away.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

Clearly, you're debating breaking into a woman's house to get a sock. I mean, your your your mind is scrambled.

SPEAKER_13 58:00

Yes, my mind is I'm like, But then I'm I hear this story about your grandfather at the elderly home, and I'm like, oh great, that's just a lifelong thing.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 58:09

Because I'm sure when women go through menopause, their their horniness probably deteriorates. I could be wrong.

SPEAKER_02 58:15

I think there's something that happens.

SPEAKER_13 58:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 58:17

That's the sync. I don't really know shit about it. That's my scientific addition, is I think something happens.

SPEAKER_13 58:23

Something occurs when women do menopause.

SPEAKER_02 58:25

But it but it's like to the point of the longevity thing. It's just like Do women do menopause?

SPEAKER_13 58:30

What do you mean? Do they're like, we're doing menopause.

SPEAKER_02 58:33

No, it just happens. Okay.

SPEAKER_13 58:35

So you don't get to choose it. They go, it's happening. You don't choose.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

So you don't wake up one day when you're 52 and go, it's time. They don't just they see they sit there and they just go, it started.

SPEAKER_13 58:46

Yeah. No, it just happens, bro. You're just like, ah, it's starting again. That sucks. Women's bodies just don't tell them shit. Like when you get your period, you're just like, eh, oh shit, it happened today.

SPEAKER_02 58:57

Well, I think it I think it tells them stuff, but the problem is that the sometimes women forget it. Yeah. Like it'll it'll like because I've heard women describe this where it's like they'll be like, I'm in a shit mood today. Oh, yeah, and then they're like, oh yeah, oh, ten minutes later, they're like, Oh, well, I am on my period. And it's like, so it's like it will tell you stuff, but it's hard sometimes to to I guess like know that that's the reason that you're in a shit mood.

SPEAKER_13 59:18

Which I mean, we're just we never they're like, I'm in a bad mood. If I'm in a shit mood, I go, I I I can't just like blame it on a period. I'm like, oh no, no, no, I'm I'm actually I lost my job, I got fired. I uh I'm texting these girls, they're not responding. Yeah, I live uh this is when I lived in Harlem in a basement unit in Harlem.

SPEAKER_02 59:35

Yeah, you're like, this isn't like a biological.

SPEAKER_13 59:37

Yes, I'm like, I can't just be like, oh, I'm in a shit mood because my period. It's like, no, I'm in a shit mood because I forced myself to follow my dream. Okay. It no, keep going, you're cooking. I can't like I wish that I could blame it on like, oh yeah, my body's just going through changes this month. No, my body's not going through any. If anything, the only change that my body's going through is I step on the scale and I go, oh, five pounds up since last week. Great. That's also on me because I was the one that decided to get Taco Bell at 3 a.m. and order that two cheesy Gordita crunches instead of my normal one. That's not me just having a normal, like, oh, puberty type of thing. That's me being an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:24

The funny thing though is that it does sound like you're on your period.

SPEAKER_13 1:00:27

Yes. Maybe that's it. Maybe men are habitually on their periods minus all of the shitty symptoms like bleeding, I don't know, from your private parts. That would suck if you bled through your dick.

SPEAKER_15 1:00:37

Oh, well, of course. Yeah, of course. You just lose a ball.

SPEAKER_13 1:00:43

Dude, that happened to my dad when he was training for the marathon. What if he peed and there was just all blood, and he was like, oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:49

See, and that's another topic in the world.

SPEAKER_13 1:00:51

Dude, you gotta see a picture of my dad running the marathon.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

The people that do the people that do like the ultra marathon running, like here's my point. The people that do the ultra marathon running to like a crazy extent, they run like 10-15 miles every day. My question to them is what are you running from?

SPEAKER_13 1:01:06

Oh, yeah. Yeah, what do you think about it? It's like what the hell are you running from?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:10

What are you running from? Because you have to be if you're running 15 miles every day, you're running from something. Yeah, what is it? Okay, yep. Maybe maybe log out of Strava and look inward. Because you don't need to run that much.

SPEAKER_13 1:01:23

A new story. I think I did the New York marathon once, and I hated it with my dad and my three sisters, and my dad literally almost died. Like, I've I'll show you a picture, I'll tag it. Just there's a photo of my dad running the marathon where he looks like he's gonna die.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:38

Good god. And look, it's fine to occasionally do a marathon, sure, but it's like to train it all the time. It's like, what is your problem?

SPEAKER_13 1:01:46

Yes. Actually, shout out my dad for being one of the biggest winners for being though his age, it's somewhere above 50 running the marathon. Savage, in my opinion. And he's a winner, folks. Yeah, yeah. He told me he would only do it again if he was offered a large sum of money. So my plan is when I make it, I'm just gonna offer him like 50k to run the marathon and just be like, get in there. But I don't want him to die, so yeah, no, don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

So yeah, Brian Johnson, we we kind of went through some tangents there, but he's he's loser of the week.

SPEAKER_13 1:02:18

He's a loser because it's like, why don't you just be honest about your situation and be like, hey, I'm really struggling with this. Like, I don't like it how he's trying to like get support for that, or I I don't know. What's that? Maybe that's the wrong word.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:31

How about instead of uh instead of leaching blood out of your son, maybe like try to just look to him for love and acceptance? Exactly. Exactly. And it's also you could just see in his eyes the only thing he cares about is elongating his life for no reason.

SPEAKER_13 1:02:48

Yeah, for the benefit of the world.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:50

There's no in any of these statements you're just wasting money. No, but look, I've looked through this stuff, like through through like his ex posts and things about it. At no point is there mention of like, I want to elongate my life so I could be around for my family. Yes, I want to elongate my life so I can be there for my son when he has a kid. I want to elongate my life so that there's none of that.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:10

So he wants to elongate it for what reason then? That's the point. Just to be like scientifically Just to live forever. Okay. There's no reason Wait, he thinks that it's possible for a human to live forever.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

I don't think it's to live forever, but his his thing is he's like, I I'll live to 130. Okay. Whatever.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:25

Uh sounds like no. Sounds like it's all falling down. It sounds like you're a loser, dude. Yeah. When it all falls down. I'm telling you, oh, South Side stand. There we go. Uh, who is our second? I had a someone.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

I mean, we had clavicul.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:41

Well, here's the there's a couple of clavicular going to Israel.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:44

Clavicular going to Israel. There's an interview where he's like talking to he's talking to someone about, or he's talking to Israeli like.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:51

We should, we should, you can explain it right now, but we should cut out the explanation, just put the video and then we'll keep going. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can also play it right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:59

It's I mean, it's just crazy, this guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:10

I I had uh dinner with a couple of people who were um you know BB's advisors, a couple of big uh government people from the United States, um you know, just some attack um names as well, and there was a photograph of us at the club after, and then that's why that's why all the media here hates me because the media doesn't like BB, right? And um I was fine with talking with one of BB's people about looks maxing and how you like.

SPEAKER_13 1:04:48

No, that's not real. Oh here's the thing, right? It is real if you went there if you're pro-Israel, if you're pro-Palestine, if you're pro-BB, if you hate BB, wherever you stand on the aisle, that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:00

Yes, yeah, wherever you stand politically on that issue, wherever you stand has nothing to do with it. It literally has not a thing to do with it.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:11

This is the problem, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:12

You know what we should looks max is the Google Maps image of Gaza right now. Let's looks max that. Because if you look at it, it's completely flattened. And we're you're talking about your jawline? You're telling you're talking to Ben Gavir about his jawline? It's like, yeah, you know, you can do a uh buccal fat removal on your neck, put it into your cheekbones. So that way, when you're giving a speech about the erasure of an entire civilization, you look snatched while you do it.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:39

Can we AI a photo of BB after being looks mad?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:43

We're gonna put it right here.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:45

He's like, Well, my cheekbones are very nice thanks to clavicular.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:49

That's actually a good impression of him. Clavicular is the new after after Trump did like a podcast with Dioban and stuff like that, which by the way. Whatever you think about that, that's nowhere near as bad as having a conference with clavicular. Like if you're like if you're like Theo Vaughn has no place in politics, I get it. That makes sense to me. But as far as like the scale goes, like clavicular makes Theo Vaughn look like a very respectable media news outlet, dude.

SPEAKER_15 1:06:22

Yeah. Dude, clavicular doing an interview with Benjamin Netanyahu is like Hitler doing one with Nardwar.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:30

Like no one needs this. He's like, you used to be a painter, didn't you? Well, I have one of your first paintings right here. And Hitler's like, that's amazing. What did you find that? I thought that was burned into fire. He's like, Well, I know a lot about you, Adolf. It's like, why is clavicular?

SPEAKER_15 1:06:51

What is this, bro? I do love your idea though of BB coming out and he just looks, he's got like the cheekbones, the jawline.

SPEAKER_14 1:06:58

He's like, Well, uh, we have to continue the fight. He's like, one thing clavicular taught me is that you should always strive for the best and never settle for less.

SPEAKER_13 1:07:10

What are we doing, BB? Don't you can't have clavicular in your Oh my god. I mean, dude. Dude, maybe the next president of the US has clavicular in his cabinet.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:21

I mean, at that point or her or her. At that point, it like we are this is idiocracy. Yes, it is. If you guys you've seen that movie, if you haven't seen the movie, watch it. You should watch it. It is one of the funniest movies ever.

SPEAKER_13 1:07:31

It's great. This is this is idiocracy.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:34

This is dumber than idiocracy. Like, we have now become a lot of people. This is dumber than idiocracy.

SPEAKER_13 1:07:38

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:38

Like the the kid who got famous because he hit his face with a hammer and took meth.

SPEAKER_13 1:07:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:45

Is now having a press conference with the world government?

SPEAKER_13 1:07:49

Right. Right. What is this, bro? Dude.

SPEAKER_15 1:07:52

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

Dude, you want to know something hilarious real quick? I just got Modern Warfare 3 because my brother like texts me, like, well, game sometimes. He's like, bro, you download Modern Warfare. Let's play together. We're playing, and he's telling me, he's like, it's hard because like I play the game and I just get destroyed by 12-year-olds on the game. Yeah. We're playing the game. This one, like, we're getting absolutely destroyed, and this one guy keeps killing me, and somehow he's level 800 in the game, which I didn't even know could happen. Yeah. And then when his gamer tag comes up, it's the Israeli flag. It's like waving.

SPEAKER_15 1:08:24

I'm like, I didn't know that the game let you do that. He's level 800 and he's spawned killing me in the game. He's literally think about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:33

He is spawned killing me, level 800, and then I see the Israeli flag. Wow. I'm like, wow, this is fitting. Like, I didn't know Modern Warfare 3 was a documentary.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:44

I don't want to speak about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:46

I know. I I know I know you don't love getting too too political. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:50

It's not my it's not my forte.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:51

It ain't my B, but the clavicular thing is hilarious.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:54

Yes, it is. You're you're no that I can speak on that just based on the stupidity of that.

SPEAKER_15 1:09:00

No, but your point about BB coming out looking snatched. Oh, it's awesome. Stroke of genius. I mean, I mean, stroke round of applause for Bo on that one.

SPEAKER_13 1:09:08

We gotta, yeah, we we need a photo of BB looking snatched, bro.

unknown 1:09:13

Dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:14

Amazing, dude. It's it's so stupid. It like it's it's like it's so dumb I can't even get mad at it anymore.

SPEAKER_13 1:09:20

I know, I know. I think is uh I think um I don't know. I feel like this is gonna be a common occurrence because it's such an easy way in 2026 to get public uh um to get like attention? Yes, to get attention is to have like because no one our age actually gives a shit about politics. So that's what they've realized. They're like, oh no, like, oh, if I go on uh if I go on you know Sneeko's podcast, maybe I'll get a couple views and then I can really, really canvas well.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:55

I mean, yeah, the way that politics works now is just a complete joke. Yes, and then I mean we we'll we won't go on this too long, but then it's like obviously you have like the Mitch McConnell and the Lindsey Graham situation, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_13 1:10:05

That's also Lindsey Graham.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:07

He who's uh I think he's like a congressman or a senator, one of the two, just like passed away out of nowhere. Yeah, and then Mitch McConnell, who everyone was expecting to die, is I guess still alive. Yes, he's been in the hospital for like four weeks now, no one has seen him, or a a couple people that are Republican senators have said that they've talked to him, right? But there's no record of it. Right. So he's been no one's seen him for four weeks. He's in a hospital, he apparently had a cardiac arrest in his home. Yeah, and then they carted him off to a hospital.

SPEAKER_13 1:10:34

They're cloning him. Bro, he comes back, he looks at the end. That's what they do.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:40

Bro, they're giving him a lot of things.

SPEAKER_13 1:10:41

That's like when Biden had COVID and they're like, Yeah, cloning, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:44

Yeah, no, no, they don't clone him, they just put the mask on. Yep, you don't know. They have those videos where they see the mask.

SPEAKER_13 1:10:49

Remember that guy who uh fucking pretended to be Jim Carrey? You remember that guy? Oh, yeah, that was that a real thing. That was a real thing. He actually put a Jim Carrey mask on and pretended to be him, and people thought he was him.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:00

That's just the mask.

SPEAKER_13 1:11:01

They're cloning McConnell, bro. McConnell's about to come back sober, right? Dude, he's gonna come back bushy-tailed. Ooh. Sexy McConnell. Sexy McConnell.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:13

Sexy Connell. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_13 1:11:16

What if McConnell comes back and he's just my brother's calling me? Should we answer?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:19

Let's answer it real quick. Hello. Katie.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:25

I'm trying to convince Keegan to get a PS5.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:28

Well, that's not gonna happen. He's more of a uh he's more of a Nintendo Switch kind of fella, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, he's more of a Nintendo Switch fella.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:35

Dude, I told him to get the PS5 so we could run trios on zombies together.

SPEAKER_13 1:11:40

Hey, you're live on the podcast. Yeah, but yeah, you're on our podcast, by the way.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:44

What is this? I'm gay.com, the podcast? Oh, okay. Okay, okay. We figured you'd say something funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:50

Well, that kind of humor doesn't fly in Brooklyn, so you better cut it out. Yep.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:54

Dude, that's that does not fly in Bandani's New York.

SPEAKER_13 1:11:57

Can you can you give us your biggest loser story of the week? Something that happened in real life.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:00

Yes, okay, this podcast is called Losers, and we talk about our biggest L's for the week. Or just in general. Any big L's recently?

SPEAKER_10 1:12:11

Any what?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:12

Like a l L, like a loss.

SPEAKER_10 1:12:15

I lost KJ at Walmart.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:17

Okay, so KJ's your three-year-old son. And you lost him at Walmart. What happened? Take us through it. Take us through it. What happened?

SPEAKER_10 1:12:25

Well, I walked into Walmart as I do with KJ. And then he said he needed a transformer and he ran off. And then I couldn't find him.

SPEAKER_13 1:12:34

How did you end up uh finding him?

SPEAKER_10 1:12:37

I didn't. I just left.

SPEAKER_13 1:12:39

Oh. Wow, so now he's one with the mark.

SPEAKER_10 1:12:43

Yeah, so he's dude, he's a transformer now, bro.

SPEAKER_13 1:12:46

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_10 1:12:47

No, I found him. I I just went over to where the transformers are and he was there.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:52

Well, that's good. That is good. Was he was he did he even care that you were gone, or was he just fully unaware?

SPEAKER_10 1:12:58

No, he could care less. I'm convinced if somebody was like, hey, I'll buy you all the transformers you want, just come with me, he'd probably be like, okay. Good enough.

SPEAKER_15 1:13:10

That's not good. That is not good at all. That is not good.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:14

Yeah, I feel like when you're a kid and you get lost and like a release, don't release this on Spotify. All the pedos are gonna try like bribing children's transformers and stuff.

SPEAKER_13 1:13:22

We're gonna release it on Spotify, but we will just tell the we'll tell the pedos not to do that. Don't worry.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:27

So is this our is this are is this are are you guys trying to basically beat uh Tim Dylan's podcast for views, Connor?

SPEAKER_13 1:13:35

Is this how you're pretty much that's that is the goal of Tim's listening to this?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:39

That is kind of the goal. I mean, we did just talk extensively about Israel, so we're kind of on our way there.

SPEAKER_13 1:13:43

Yes. Oh, let's get into that. No, let's not get into it. We already got into it. Let's not get into it. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:50

Cut it, cut them. We're cutting your feed. I'm pretty sure Connor's roommates are all Jews.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:57

Well Okay, this I am gonna have to cut this year. You're crazy, you're ruining the podcast. You can't say that. Well, thanks for being on the pod. We love you. Um we're gonna cut maybe some of the choice words.

SPEAKER_10 1:14:11

No, that's wisdom.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:13

Okay. Well, thanks for being on the pod. I'll I'll call you later, buddy.

SPEAKER_10 1:14:16

Alright. Alright.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:18

Talk to you later.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:19

Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:20

You uh you had quite a brother there, huh?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:23

He's the one that was in the military.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:25

Wait, are you is your whole brother squad K's?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:28

Yeah. Keegan, Keegan, Caden, Connor. Three, count 'em.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:33

It's interesting you guys pick K's. Why is that interesting? I don't know. Um the KKK is what I'm thinking. Is that like a dance ready? You guys are KKK. That's true. Two KKKs.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:49

It's like the Kardashians. Yeah, yeah. No one says about them.

SPEAKER_13 1:14:51

You're right. All right, should we wrap this up? I think so. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:55

I think that was pretty good. I think that was uh I think we got some uh clippable moments out of that.

SPEAKER_13 1:15:00

And that's and that's really why we do this. That's exactly why we do this. All right, folks, uh, thank you so much for listening to the pot. Do you have anything you want to plug right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:09

Not really. I mean, just your show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:15:11

July 31st. Uh, we will both be live in action at New York Comedy Club in the East Village at 6 p.m. That's a Friday. It's gonna be amazing. Uh, this is the this is the fifth Chuckle Fest we've done. I'm selling really cool hoodies, so we'll be there with a hoodie stand. And it's the first time my co producer Lauren Schulson will be on the show. And um yeah, it's gonna be amazing. So we'll drop the ticket link in the bio for the Instagram and uh have a great week, folks. We'll be back with more loser stories. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:43

Yes, have a good week, folks. Thanks for listening. It's amazing. Have a good one.