LOSERS
Just two comedians in New York trying to navigate the modern world while taking countless L's. How original.
Hosted by Bo Bigelow and Konner Kienzle.
LOSERS
4 - Prosciutto For The Table?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Welcome back to the LOSERS podcast. In this episode Bo and Konner talk about the L's they took this week: Bo went on a date with a girl who ate all the prosciutto and Konner went on a date with a girl who told him his stand up is mid. Yikes! They also discuss the smoke from the Canadian wildfires, Taco Bell giving people a parasite that causes explosive diarrhea, and Congresswoman AOC putting on a fake southern accent for the people of Georgia.
Click the link to see Bo and Konner perform at New York Comedy Club on July 31st @6pm!!!
https://newyorkcomedyclub.com/events/chucklefest-2026-07-31180000
Hey, how are we doing? Welcome back to the Losers Podcast. I'm the big here with my co-host Connor McKinsley. How we doing, Connor?
SPEAKER_13I'm doing pretty good, man. Um. I'm doing pretty good. I mean, this is the losers pod, but I feel like we're kind of up right now.
SPEAKER_11Yes, we are up, minus the awful weather that Canada has uh provided us. Yeah, thanks for it. Thank you, Canada. Oh Canada. Thanks for the fucking fires. We appreciate that.
SPEAKER_13I feel like this kind of makes up because like Trump was kind of nasty with Canada. He was kind of like, we're gonna take you guys over, we're gonna tear the shit out of you. I feel like this kind of makes up for it.
SPEAKER_11Yes, you're absolutely, you're absolutely right.
SPEAKER_13Like them ruining the air quality of the entire East Coast. I think we're I think we're kind of even Stevens now. I would say.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, you you're you're absolutely right. You know what I learned the other day? Let me let me fact check this about Canada. He's fact-checking it, folks.
SPEAKER_13Uh yeah, we're having a pretty good week here at the Loser's Pod. Thanks for tuning in to episode number four. Very appreciative of you listening.
SPEAKER_11Okay, what do you got? The U.S.'s poorest state, which is Mississippi's economic output per person is comparable to or slightly higher than Canada's national average. Did I hear that correctly? Yes, you did hear that correctly.
SPEAKER_13So our like poorest state, their economy is better than Canada's?
SPEAKER_11Yes.
SPEAKER_13Oh my god. I mean our worst state. They shouldn't be allowed to have fires like this.
SPEAKER_11Yes.
SPEAKER_13I maybe we should take over Canada.
SPEAKER_11We have three U.S. states that have individual gross domestic products that exceed the entire national GDP of Canada: Texas, New York, and California.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, maybe we should. No, screw them. We don't need them. No, but maybe we should take control of Canada. Yeah, maybe it would help you guys grow your GDP. I'm not even concerned about the GDP, more about the fires, but also we haven't historically we haven't done a great job with the fires either. Yes.
SPEAKER_11We did a terrible job with Canada, with the fires in California, thanks, Gavin Newsome. We were both there too at that point.
SPEAKER_13And look, you can I said this before. You can hate on Trump all you want. Yes. But he does want to fully get rid of national parks. That would be and if you get rid of them, you don't have fires. That's true. That's very true. Here's the thing. If you make the if you make the country not the worst trade-off. Now listen here. If you make the entire country one shopping mall.
SPEAKER_11Right.
SPEAKER_13If you make the entire country a parking lot, no wildfires.
SPEAKER_11That's a really good point. If you make the country just a giant, just one singular giant fracking. What are those things called?
SPEAKER_13Just one frack hole.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, one frack hole. I don't know if that's what it's called. What are they called? What do you mean? The the things that frack. The frackers? That sounds like a slur. Like an oil.
SPEAKER_13I've been fracked off since the frackers moved in. Those goddamn frackers moved in. It's like a wait. Um I mean like an oil Derek? I don't know. Uh oh, a rig. An oil rig. Here's yeah, that's yeah. If you make those yeah. That'd be so cool. So it's not frackers, it's uh it's riggers. Yes, riggers. Which ev sounds even more like a sword. But I say rig us. Dude, this is so just for context, we've refilmed the intro to this three times because we keep getting ourselves in trouble.
SPEAKER_11That that's not that's a joke. I think we're that's a pretty funny joke.
SPEAKER_13Let's get back to the the point though of that I do think if you turn this country into a parking lot, yeah, there'd be no wildfires. Nope, not at all. Now we couldn't breathe, also because there's no trees, and I mean science says that they create oxygen. I think that's fake and gay. Yes. So I don't think that's true. Fake and gay. Yes. Yes. So let's just let's just cut all the trees down like Donald Trump wants to. Let's turn it all into a parking lot, and let's, you know, I'm sure it'll be fine.
SPEAKER_11Fuck it. Put a casino in there. Bro, even better. That's how you really that's true American exceptionalism is yes, just fucking sprinkle a casino somewhere to watch it take off.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, so Canada is your L. Or no, that's your loser for the week.
SPEAKER_11Canada is my loser for the week, amongst all the other things that we're about to discuss. But I do I, you know, there are certain things in my life that make me like get the like, yeah, get her done, brother, like American like patriotism, and shitting on Canada makes me one of the happiest people in the whole. It's so fun to shit on them. They're so annoying sometimes. And I don't think that we have the right to buy them. I think that that may be taking it a step too far and is pretty ridiculous. But I do go, you guys literally we we protect you at every cost, and all you guys do is sit in your stupid oh Canada high horses, like, oh fuck America. Uh yeah, fuck America, eh? I can't do a Canadian accent, it wouldn't do it justice, but it pisses me off a little frankly.
SPEAKER_13No, Canadian, their thing, the Canadian thing is always like, well, at least we don't have school shootings. You guys have so many school shootings. I don't know. I'm not doing it for a very good job. But that's their thing, though.
SPEAKER_11They're always like, oh, we don't have school shootings, right?
SPEAKER_13Like you're always doing the school shootings over there. Yeah. That's it is kind of Irish or something.
SPEAKER_11Oh, we're always doing the school shootings over there. Oh, right. That's Canadian. That's Canadian. Yeah. No, this is Canadian. Where they always have the the school shoot is he's Batman Canada. Canadian Batman.
SPEAKER_13What?
SPEAKER_11I don't know.
SPEAKER_13Canadian Batman. I like that. They have school shooting. We have free health care over here.
SPEAKER_06Maybe if you maybe if you stopped bullying the white youth, they'd stop picking up guns and killing students.
SPEAKER_11We have free health care, but it takes you like two years to get a knee surgery because our hospitals aren't that good.
SPEAKER_13He like kicks down Justin Trudeau's door.
SPEAKER_06He's like, Where is she?
SPEAKER_13He's like, who?
SPEAKER_06Katy Perry. Where is she? You shouldn't be able to date her. It doesn't make sense. Why are you dating Katy Perry? Where is she? He's like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_11Have you seen that video of the Canadian legislator talking about the LGBTQ community? Oh no, where she's like the M I plus P B I P B T B B C L P B A R.
SPEAKER_13Okay, while you pull that up, um but that is the Canadians though, they do love they keep throwing that in our face, the schools, the school shootings, which not great, I will say. Obviously, our numbers on that are not great. But they always do that. They're like, oh, you guys think you're so great, but you're always the school shootings. I know. And I'm like, well, I don't know. I don't, you know, I don't do it. It's hard. Yeah. You're not shooting up any schools. No, I've never even thought about it. Not like I'm not like Zendaya in that movie. You ever see that movie? The the what was it called again?
SPEAKER_11The one. Oh, uh, it's the uh the drama. The drama, yes. Yes, the drama. Oh, wait, here I go. Did you find it?
SPEAKER_00Here we go. Uh at the Ontario Court of Justice uh to assist with the case that they had. So they asked me to reach out to the victim and make sure she's safe and take her home.
SPEAKER_07He drove me home in the fabulous Pride SUV. Wait, is that? And as he was driving me home, we reached the stoplight, and then an individual in a pickup truck came up to us. A transgender cop car. Look at that.
SPEAKER_08Are you guys cops or you just identify as cops? Ooh. Ooh. Sick That's none of your business, and I'm hands-free. So there's nothing you can do. I'm just asking you a question, Sergeant. Are you cops or you identify as cops? I I have no idea. That's reality doesn't exist anymore, right?
SPEAKER_07Part of me was shocked, but part of me was not shocked. I am a trans woman. I've been transitioning for eight years. Oh, this is the copy harassed.
SPEAKER_11So that was not the video I meant to show, but pretty good video.
SPEAKER_13I mean, yeah, that's yeah, so put your hands up.
SPEAKER_00So a co a cop you like that? Jesus.
SPEAKER_13No, a cop was driving that person home, I think. And the and the and the suspect puts his hand up like this. It's like no, the cop was driving that, was driving a trans person home, and then a person drove up to him filming it and was like, what the hell?
SPEAKER_11Cops are gay now. Yeah, the cops are gay now.
SPEAKER_13It's like, well, mind your own business, dude. Hey, mind your own business, pal. You're gonna we gotta redo this. Dude, this is funny. Stop. No, I'm kidding. Um where the clip, but I remember I know the clip you're talking about. She's like doing like a whole thing. I'm sick of Canada, though.
SPEAKER_11I kind of like Canadian Batman. Dude, when the gay cops from Canada shoot their guns, it's just glitter that comes out. Bro, just the hackiest fucking shit.
SPEAKER_13I prefer Is that hacky?
SPEAKER_11I prefer Canadian Batman. Okay, we'll do Canadian gay Batman cop. I think we're losing the thread here. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. I'm on prep.
SPEAKER_00Gay Batman.
SPEAKER_11Bane, Bane, I need more back shots. If I don't get back shots, Bane, you're blowing my back out.
SPEAKER_06Bane, take your mask off and stick it up my ass. He's like, oh Batman, the condom fell off. He's like, you always say that. I think you're pulling the condom off, Bane. No, it's an accident. It's just an accident, you see. Bane, please. Please take this. I promise I'm clean.
SPEAKER_11It just slips away. Batman and Bane, and Batman's parents are homophobic, and he's introducing them to his girlfriend, his boyfriend.
SPEAKER_13No, but Batman's parents are dead.
SPEAKER_11Oh, you're right. You're fine.
SPEAKER_13Come on, get it together.
SPEAKER_11Well, then he's in his he's in his unit and he's like. And Bane's like, be Bane and ask me why I'm upset. I just feel wrong because I feel like my parents, if they were alive, they wouldn't like it that we're doing this. Doing what? It's just, as a young boy, I just didn't know how to tell them that I'm gay. Oh no, the condom slipped off again. Oh, Bane, stop. No, Bane, stop. This is serious. You never listen to me when I want to talk about serious things. You can trust me, but please. Please, Bane, understand.
SPEAKER_13I'm going to blow your back out again. That's something, dude. Now that's something. You get a work text?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_11Boy Jeff just texted me that his flight got cancelled. Oh, Mamma Mia. But he said he's trying to reschedule a flight. You know, we'll get him there.
SPEAKER_13Well, anyways, that was actually the Batman's kind of fun, actually. Okay, let's um so that okay, what uh L's for the week. What do we got here? Um, I think I mentioned that you destroyed my crock pot. That's like we don't need to go into that. Yeah, we don't need it. He left it on the electric burner. That was awesome. It happens.
SPEAKER_11Um but don't bring up anything we already mentioned earlier because if that segment gets cut.
SPEAKER_13Right, right, right, right. Yeah, we're kind of editing editing in a non-linear fashion here, you guys. Factual. Um, L's for the week.
SPEAKER_11Do you have any do you have any L's for the week? Uh my L for the week would be I went on another date and I took a girl out, and it wasn't the best date, and I was kind of pull pulling information from her. It was boring. Uh and we both knew that we probably wouldn't see each other again. It wasn't the worst day. I would have been interested in maybe going again. And then I texted her afterwards and I was like, hey, that was uh that was fun, like would love to take you out again. Mind you, I paid $150 on both of us, and she didn't even like text me back, like, oh hey, like that was fun. Like, I'm kind of busy, like, and just like made something up. And that kind of I feel like the principle in that kind of fucked with my head.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Like, I feel like even if you didn't enjoy the date, you still have to like be at least text me back and be like, Oh, that was fine, whatever. Like, you could even say, like, I don't, like, I I feel like um I'm really busy right now, or like I don't I don't know if that's if things are gonna work out. That's fine. At least I was there too. I get it. Yeah, maybe like a thanks. A thanks, exactly. Like, I just spent $150 of credit card money. That's so that's fake money uh for the viewers at home. So that just doesn't count. Yeah, so that doesn't count because it just goes on my credit card, and then maybe in 10 years I'll pay it off. Whatever. Um still money to me.
SPEAKER_13No, it's money to everyone, and it's money to the bank. Well, some people it's not money to well, her it wasn't.
SPEAKER_11Her to her, it was just like fucking monopoly free play.
SPEAKER_13To her, you're nothing.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, to me, to her, I'm nothing in my and the painstaking hours I take editing a podcast, working uh as an unarmed security guard, uh doing stand-up and um you know, blowing guys for cash doesn't matter to her.
SPEAKER_13This is you guys, you're definitely at the right podcast. This is the losers podcast.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_13No, to her, my money is uh do you know how she's you're like, do you know how hard I work to be an unarmed security guard in a CVS? I work do you know how difficult that is? I work so hard.
SPEAKER_11I have to stand there and watch as they steal. Uh-huh. I work so hard to take. Like, I'm thinking now about that $150 that I spent and all the countless uh draft beers at the bar I work at, I had to like unplug so that the beer can get up and all the mopping I did just to have her be a bitch.
SPEAKER_13Damn.
SPEAKER_11And it sounds like a man complaining, and I know we live in a world where you can't complain as a man, which is true. And I don't think men should complain. I think they should stick to what they do best, which is joining arms and taking testosterone and working for Pete Heggseth. But but at the same token, I could I would have I would have enjoyed just a even just a thank you, period. You don't even need to add an exclamation to it.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, just on just on a quick tangent, it is hilarious to say men shouldn't complain into a microphone in front of a camera.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. I don't think men I don't think men should complain ever.
SPEAKER_13But you realize that's what we're doing.
SPEAKER_11We're so this whole pod is that the problem in America is is is us and any country. The problem in fucking Guatemala is probably us too.
SPEAKER_13When you say us, men.
SPEAKER_11Oh, right. Yes, we have we have destroyed everything that's good in this world. Like, name name like an evil female dictator, or like I mean that I can only think of like cartoon ones. Yes. That's when uh Rodney Dangerfield comes in and goes, Well, my wife. Well, my wife's gonna be a chance. He's an evil dictator in the kitchen. No, you know what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_13Um, that's a I don't know if there are many.
SPEAKER_11No, there's not because I mean uh women don't really who did who uh Marie Antoinette. Oh, but it's interesting to think that eve all the evil men in history do have a wife. Who's also who's like, you know, my dad comes home from work, or like and like my parents both work, and he'll like be like, oh, work was tough today, and he'll give my mom, she'll give him advice. Do you think Hitler actually did the Holocaust, or it was like he was coming home from work?
SPEAKER_13He's like, No, I think he did, yeah.
SPEAKER_11But maybe it was like his wife in his ear, and she's like, Well, well, here I think he did it.
SPEAKER_13I don't think his wife was ever like, Hey, maybe maybe back it up a little. You know, I don't think over dinner she was like, Yeah, but maybe what if we did like she's like, What if we did like two million? Like, I don't think she was like giving like notes. I think she was just along for the ride. She was like, Well, I'm not gonna complain. Bro, bin Laden's wife after 9-11.
SPEAKER_11She's like, uh, I just like wish you would have hit the Pentagon. That's no. If anything, she's like, that was a good job, honey. But it's like, you know, if you were a real man, you would have hit the Pentagon too.
SPEAKER_13It's like if you're gonna, you know, if you're gonna do it, you should finish the job. No, if anything, she might just be like, like she didn't even know that it happened, and then they're at dinner, and like she like the news is like going in the background and they're like losing their shit, and Bush is like, we're gonna go bomb them all, and he's sitting on the table quietly, like cutting a steak, and she's like, What? You're addicted to work. She's like, You didn't have to go do that. You're addicted to work. Your kids are your kids were saying, Where's our dad? They wanted you to read him a bedtime story, and I have to explain that you're you're on a business trip in the in America.
SPEAKER_11He didn't go though, but yeah, he was yeah, that's the funny thing. He gets all the credit. Meanwhile, there were there were a bunch of kamikaze pilots who like you we couldn't name them.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, they're doing all the work.
SPEAKER_11Why don't we know those guys? You know? Yeah. They risked it all for just for a tragedy, really.
SPEAKER_13I do actually oh I wonder if this is worth saying on the pod. You gotta say it. I mean, we have cutting ability now. That is true. Just on that, on that note, um, I was I was telling you and Mitch about this because it was, I was thinking like this could be a funny story for a stand-up bit because it kind of relates to that. But yeah, when I was um when I was in uh college, I at the school I went to, I I don't think you knew about it, but I did this thing called Undy Run. And you said you didn't have that at your school.
SPEAKER_10No.
SPEAKER_13So basically at the end of the semester, we would like to celebrate the end of the semester, everyone would put on their like get into their underwear and then get really drunk, and then we would run from the school to like the city center or like the town center of like where our school was. So it would just be like a mob of like drunk college kids just running. And they I there was this one time where I went to a pregame. So my girlfriend at the time was in the sorority DG, which was like the dancer girl sorority.
SPEAKER_11So I got invited to this in DG in college too.
SPEAKER_13Dude, winners. Um, and but they both left us so losers. Yeah, and mine cheated on me too. So shit. Um but so I I was dating this girl who's in the sorority. She was like, Hey, I'm going to this pre-game. Um, uh like, do you want to come? I was like, sure, I'll go. So I upon arriving, I realized I am the only guy there because my girlfriend, her like big in the sorority, it was her house. And so they were like, No guys are allowed, it's only girls. But she told my girlfriend, she was like, if you want to bring your boyfriend, like you can bring him. So literally, it was me in a house of like 50 of like the hottest sorority girls in lingerie, and I'm just like standing in the kitchen in my boxers. I'm like pressed up against the kitchen island, just like trying not to like fucking get a literally get a hard on. Yeah, literally, I'm just I'm trying not I'm trying not to get a fucking boner in front of these 50 hot women. I'm just like standing there like you're just you got cum, just just trickling down your pants. And I'm just sitting there like, yeah, communications. That's that's crazy. That's a good major.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, communications is good.
SPEAKER_13And the whole the whole point is. It's like um, are you coming right now? Are you literally you're leaking? I'm not coming. That's so gross.
SPEAKER_11Oh that's what I that's the noise I make when I come. And then I go, anyways, you want to get coffee? I go that's that like like a like a jazz scat while you're coming.
SPEAKER_12Skibada boo ba.
SPEAKER_11And you're kind of like, I'm like and then you wake up, you're in a strait jacket, it was all like Jesus. That's how Louis Armstrong came. He'd be like, ah ba dooba da ba dooba da ba ba dooba.
SPEAKER_13This is so dumb. But so I'm standing in this kitchen with the all of these hot women in their underwear, beautiful angels. There's like 70 of them. I'm sitting there, and I remember at the time being like, oh, I kind of understand now why someone might fly a plane into the World Trade Center. You know what I mean? Like it kind of like clicked because like when you like on paper, you're like, they did that for like the 72 virgins. Like, what? They fly a plane into this so they can go like to heaven and there's 72 virgins. It's like that's like such a crazy thing. That's like to do to like to fly a plane into a building just for some women. It's like what? But here's the thing when but it's different when you're in the room, yes. When you're there and you're surrounded, and those women those weren't virgins. I was about to say they weren't even those aren't even virgins, they weren't, they weren't unclean.
SPEAKER_11I'll tell you, pal, those weren't even virgins.
SPEAKER_13No, they weren't. They're probably slightly ran through, but it's even still, I was like respectably ran through. Even still, I was there. I was kind of like, okay, now that I'm in the room, I kind of am starting to see why one might try try that. They were beautiful. They were beautiful buttons. And it's just me there. That's the thing. You're like, oh, it's just me and them.
SPEAKER_11There's no other. So if you knew the 72 Virgins things to be factual, like this is a what if? What's the worst thing that you would do to gain access to that? I definitely wouldn't do my taxes.
SPEAKER_13Hey yo! Um, what's the worst? Thank you. What's the worst thing I would do?
SPEAKER_11Yeah, this is a really fucked up question.
SPEAKER_13For 72 versions.
SPEAKER_11It's like, would you no, I don't even want to say it. There's one that comes to mind that I'm like, is I don't want to say it.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_11I'm not gonna say it.
SPEAKER_13I would maybe do a school shooting in Canada. But in Canada. Not here, not here. In Canada. And I'm kidding, guys. It's a kidding. Guys, that's what we uh that's what we call a callback.
SPEAKER_11Yes, that's what we yeah.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Oh my god, the two are the most beautiful. 72 virgins, bro. Yeah, that's such a better. Like, I'm a Christian. Like, our cell's not that great. It's like, oh yeah, you get up to heaven, but you don't really know. Yeah, it's like I I go hang out with my grandma. I guess I get to see family. It's like I go hang out with my grandma, like uh, some Christians have different takes on what heaven is, and they're like, oh yeah, you get like everything you want, kind of, but like 72 virgins, bro. I'm in. I'm sold. No, it's like it's like I get why they yeah, it makes sense what you said earlier, where it's like if someone like if someone legitimately brainwashed me to believe that that's what happens when I die if I kill people in the World Trade Center. I was gonna say that should be the recruitment.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. Just do a sorority party, and you're the only guy invited.
SPEAKER_11Yes.
SPEAKER_13And they just like they're pouring drinks in your mouth, they're rubbing your shoulder. Right. And like at a certain point in the night, they're like, hey, like, want to come in here and like just watch this. And they just put on like a little like movie.
SPEAKER_11Now, now my question to the terrorists out there who are listening to this pod is based on and also based on the comments of that clip we put out? Why would that be why would that be the reward for something like that? Like, what is your take on that if you're a terrorist listening to the pod? Like, why would you like like why would there be a God that's like, oh yeah, you know what? Fuck it, man. Like he's like, like the other god or like the the messiah is sort of like talking to God, and he's like, yo, what should you get for things? And he's like, you know what? He's like, hi. He's like, you know what? Fuck it. Like, if you barrel a plane into the World Trade Center, how about we just give them 72 virgins for that? Like it's sort of sounds sort of like something that just came about.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. I don't know. I mean, and I'm sure there's other things that come along with it.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, because that's what you always hear is it's like maybe you get like uh like a like a PSP or something, a real vintage one.
SPEAKER_13Yes, Bo. Maybe you get not only 72 virgins, maybe you also get a PSP. I was thinking more of like you reach Nirvana or something or for killing people. I don't I don't know.
SPEAKER_11Do they get 72? Is it like a purification? Like, do they get the 72 virgins too? Who? If I if a jihadist kills me, oh no. Do am I allotted virgins or do I just go to hell?
SPEAKER_13I think you just go to probably some form of hell. Sounds kind of like a no, no. What happens is no, what happens is you go to your heaven, they go to their heaven, you're there hanging out with like your grandma who's kind of racist. That's what I'm saying. You're up there hanging out with your grandma who's kind of racist. Like, I forgot that she was really problematic.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_13And then you like look out the window and you see them in their heaven, and you're like, that looks way better.
SPEAKER_11It sounds so much better, I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_13You're like, what?
SPEAKER_11Yeah, oh, that would suck. You're just in some like waiting room in the clouds, just like this is all we do.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, it's like, yep, this is heaven.
SPEAKER_11You're like, Can I just they kind of have the coolest heaven out of any religion? Yeah, we I I mean, me as a Christian have that make me. Does are you are you a practicer? No, I do from time to time. I talk with uh from time to time I do Zoom church. I talk to JC every now and then. And you do Zoom Church, yes, which is crazy. That that is true, and I have a bit about that, but that's true. I've watched church on Zoom, which seems kind of cheaty, I would say. Yeah, it seems sort of like a cheat code. It's illegitimate. Um, it's gonna be awesome in 20 years where we're all wearing VR headsets uh in a dark room, and I'm watching my pastor give me my sermon, and I can like sort of uh give him like a customizable skin, like a John Wick or something from Fortnite, and I'm making him do like cool dances. That's gonna be great.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, just learning nothing about God, no, nothing.
SPEAKER_11And then and then all of a sudden I go, Oh, wait a second. And I take my VR headset off and I go, God's not real. Because how could he create this environment that I'm living in right now where Peter Thiel and Palantir?
SPEAKER_13Yes, yeah. No, you take off your headset and it's like the outside is burning. Yeah, you're like there's diarrhea running down your legs because all of the food is causes explosive diarrhea.
SPEAKER_11Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_13And you're just like, oh, maybe God isn't looking out for me.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, and can but but then I always end up, even if he's not, fuck Canada.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, at least we're not in Canada. Right. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. Really makes really a thinker on that one. So your L is that that girl. Yeah, that's my L only because I also got I went ahead and I got a plate of prosciutto for us to split. Bro, girls don't like prosciutto. No, she liked prosciutto. Oh I'll tell you what, she was like, she was kind of chowing down a little too much on the prosciutto. I was sort of like paying for this. She wasn't doing the 50-50? No, I paid for the whole plate of prosciutto plus like two fancy drinks um and a couple more at a different bar. I gave her an awkward kiss when I was leaving. That might have been Oh, I hate that. Yeah, it made me feel weird. I never know when to kiss a girl. It makes me feel weird every time.
SPEAKER_13It's also like, especially if it's just one and sometimes it like isn't literally like.
SPEAKER_11But they I just feel like they're always judging us. That's my problem. Yes. Like, I'll be sitting there, I'm fine, I'm at a girl's place. I'm like, okay, should I kiss her? And she's like kind of talking about something, and then I go like and she's like, like, I've literally had a girl be like, that was like terrible timing. Like, that was so weird. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to say. I was getting a whole it's really freaky. I hate kissing women. Well, I don't hate kissing women, but I hate leading up to the kiss.
SPEAKER_13I'm like, yo, pause. No, the lead up is tough.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_13That's a tough, that's a tough L now.
SPEAKER_11I think yeah, a lot of our L's tend to, like, whenever I'm with a girl that I like, I just I'm like, I'm trying to not do anything weird. I feel like I'm being weird all the time. I feel like I I'm leaning in too far, or like I, you know, um, love is hard. Love is really, really hard. And I just picture myself just getting toasted in these women chats.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_11And that keeps me up at night. Yeah, you probably are getting toasted.
SPEAKER_13I mean, you're like leaving socks at their places, you're ordering prosciutto and then like berating her for eating more than half a few. No, I didn't berate her.
SPEAKER_11You completely got the story wrong, but that's fine. You completely misquoted me. I didn't berate her. I thought about it. And I saw her eating a lot of prosciutto, and I was like, that's a lot of prosciutto. It wasn't a fat thing. I was just like, you just made a mental note. It was like if me and you split nachos, I don't even have to be on a date, and you sort of take an egg a more than your portion of nachos on the plate by a significant amount, I would go, mmm, that was kind of rude. See, it's funny you say that. I know you, I know I did it to you one time. You did that to me like two months ago. And Mitch did it to me the other day, our other roommate.
SPEAKER_13So none of us are loyal to each other.
SPEAKER_11No, but it on a date, I'm like, do you think what? You think I'm you think I bought a plate of prosciutto just to watch you eat prosciutto?
SPEAKER_13Yeah. No, sister, I love prosciutto. No, sister, listen.
SPEAKER_11I love prosciutto, it's one of my favorite things, actually.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. Do you want to know? I guess I could cover that L of mine. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. And then I gotta go see my mommy.
SPEAKER_13Um, go see your mom. Uh and then yeah, I guess we can do this and then and then wrap.
SPEAKER_11Yes.
SPEAKER_13Um my L was I went on a date. And I think you've heard this, but I went on a date with a girl. This was a second date off of Hinge. We love Hinge. We love Hinge. We love Hinge. The app that's meant to be deleted, they say. That's how I met my second. Neither of us have deleted it, not one of us. Yeah, I never have. Um, but we go on a second date, and but the first date happens, then uh later that week she finds me on Instagram. I see that she follows me. I'm like, oh, she found my Instagram. I was like, whatever, like I'll follow her back. We go to the second date, and she was like, like we're just chilling and out of like we're just making conversation, and she kind of comes out at one point. She's like, Oh, I found your Instagram. I was like, Yeah, I saw that. Like, I followed you back. She's like, Yeah. She's like, I my friends were curious about you, so I sent them your profile. And I was like, Okay. She was like, Yeah, like they said that they like watched like one of your stand-up clips, and they said that like your stand-up was like really mid. And I was just like, Oh, okay. Oh, wait, that's no that's that's better.
SPEAKER_01No, yeah, okay. There we go.
SPEAKER_13We're getting the hang of it. But she's like, Yeah, she's like, My friend said your standup's really mid. I was like, What? And like the no follow-up.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_13She was like, So, like, what do you think you want to order? Like, literally, she immediately was just like, Oh, so what do you want to order?
SPEAKER_11And I was like, Yeah, and you're like, How about a plate of sadness?
SPEAKER_13Yeah, it was kind of like, wait, wait, I was like, wait, wait, wait. I was like, You're like, What? Yeah, she's like, Yeah, and I was like, Oh, I was like, What do you think? She's like, Oh, I didn't watch it. And I was just like, Okay.
SPEAKER_11That's weird that she didn't watch it, because if one of my friends took a girl out and she was a stand-up, or any artist, like a music musician, I'd be like, Yeah, I want to watch like if you think it's bad, I'll watch it for sure. Yeah, but I was it was just a crazy she could have watched it just to shit on you, even.
SPEAKER_13But yeah, she didn't watch it, she just was like, Yeah, my friend said you're mid. Yeah, and you're like, Oh, that's cool.
SPEAKER_11I've got all my art, you know, the thing that I've my biggest passion that I put all my time and effort to the past five years with possibility to fail, and I'm kind of giving it my all. Yeah, I guess I'm your friend's thing. I'm mad at that. That's cool. It's fine.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, it's like I'm not gonna think about this the entire day. Yeah, I'm not gonna fucking talk about it on my podcast on Sunday, but yeah, so the rest of the day I'm just in my head, I'm just kind of like, that was a crazy thing to say.
SPEAKER_11That's an insane thing to say. I'm like, what is it? It's also just rude. Like you didn't need to say that.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, it's like it's like it's not like there was any follow-up. It's not like she was then like, oh, but I watched it and I thought it was good. Like literally, she just said it to say it, yeah, and then moved on to the next topic.
SPEAKER_11That's cheap thing that she's what she was.
SPEAKER_13I think maybe she slammed you, brother. I think maybe I think maybe it was like kind of like a negative.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, she's like, maybe that maybe that was how she like manipulates you to dating her. She's like, I'm gonna fuck with him.
SPEAKER_13Well, I'm not. Yeah, we haven't gone on a date since because I was like, I realized that you're a fragile little guy. I'm a Pisces. And that and that that got to me.
SPEAKER_11Oh, I found out that I'm I'm in a bad mood this week. Like, this week has been very much so I felt like a loser all week, where I'm like, Yeah, my life is in shambles, and like like even when our clip blew up the other day, I was like, it's nothing's enough. Like, that was my thing. When I woke up the next morning, I looked at it, and then one of my friends told me I'm a verg a Virgo in Mercury's and retrograde. So she was like, That's why. And it's great because now I can just uh say that all of my problems are due to the planets.
SPEAKER_13That's that is the nice thing about astrology. It's really, really comforting to be though. It's not me. That's why astrology that's why astrology is great, is because it kind of abdicates you from doing any self-analysis.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_13You're like, oh, I'm just gonna like, yeah, I don't need to, I don't need to look inward and get maybe I did something this week that's a bad maybe I've been having bad habits that have been making me in a bad mood.
SPEAKER_11I didn't drunk test a girl like something that's incredibly annoying. I'm just Mercury's in retrograde. Yeah, like I'm not being problematic.
SPEAKER_13No, I'm not depressed due to my poor life choices, right?
SPEAKER_11I'm not depressed because I have a zen cigarette and alcohol problem. Um, and I started smoking cigarettes to stop zenning, and now I have to zen to stop cigarettes. Which is true. No, Mercury's in retrograde. Yeah, and I'm a Virgo. And you know what? Virgos, we don't really like it when Mercury's in retrograde. We don't look it up, we're very anti-that actually. Makes us go a little wonky, dude.
SPEAKER_13That girl saying that thing to me about my stand-up being mid, that made my Mercury retrograde. Right, right. I was fucking pissed. Yeah, I would be too. I was pissed.
SPEAKER_11That's your art, brother.
SPEAKER_13I was pissed. I would be super pissed. It's like, bro, it's like the it's like the Seinfeld episode where she's where she's like, Jerry, you're nice, but I saw your act and I just don't think you're funny. He's like, What? You don't like my act. You don't like my act. That's funny. Because everybody seems to like it. He's like, what do you want me to do? Crowd work? Nice shirt, you stupid bitch. I'm not good at crowd work. What do you do for work?
SPEAKER_11Oh, you're a painter. It's funny. I got a couple painter jokes.
SPEAKER_13Who's Israeli? Anyone? Let's do jokes. I'm topical.
SPEAKER_11What do you do for work? Oh, you're on OnlyFans. Oh my gosh. She's she's doing camera work. She's doing camera work. Imagine him doing crowd work and someone says something like that that's dirty, and he's like, he's so clean that he doesn't even want to like he's finding ways to talk about sex. Yeah. Well without cussing or like saying.
SPEAKER_13I was thinking, well, I said this to you earlier, and you were like, I think that's someone's bit, which I don't care. But um, I was like, it'd be so fun. Just the idea of Seinfeld if he was like doing a new hour of comedy, but he wanted to like revamp his whole thing and like be like more relatable to the youth, if he did an hour on BDSM. Oh yeah. He's like, I just downloaded Field. Says consensual non-consent. I thought that was just rape. What's the what's the deal? You guys don't like that joke? This one chick said she was into it. Why didn't you like the joke? This one chick said she was into handcuffs and gunplay. I said, is that an album?
SPEAKER_11Dude, but yeah, that sucks. That she I kind of just want to keep doing this. It's so mean that she was mean to you because it's like you shouldn't really be mean to people, especially if they're Pisces. Ethical non-monogamy. You know what? I'm gonna text her and be like, you're bad at your job, actually. Yeah, I might just reach out to her. I'm gonna be like, you know, I checked your LinkedIn profile and like uh it doesn't really seem like you're that good at development.
SPEAKER_13It's tough though because she I think she works in like uh she does like she's like studying to be like a neurosurgeon or something.
SPEAKER_11I thought you were gonna say she's Hollywood's biggest agent in comedy.
SPEAKER_13No, she's like an like an actual smart person.
SPEAKER_11Ooh, a neuroscientist. You wouldn't want to hang out with that person anyways.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Especially. Especially if ironically.
SPEAKER_13Ironically, neurosurgeons give the worst brain.
SPEAKER_11Hell yeah. He's just bombing. I love that idea. Oh, it would be so cool to see Jerry bomb. I mean, we will never see it ever again, but it probably happened at one point. I mean, it had to have happened at one point. And it must have been pretty funny because people were just like, why is he talking about microwave so much? Who gives a fuck? Yeah, and he's like, the crowd, they're like, this is so stupid. He's talking about fucking dryers and washing machines. Yeah, he's talking about like lymph pads. Who gives a fuck? And then Dice Clay comes on next and he's like, I put a quarter up a girl's pussy. And he's killing.
SPEAKER_13And he's killing Seinfeld's like, wait, what? That's so funny.
SPEAKER_11That's so cool to think of Seinfeld at Danger Fields with Rodney, Sam Kennison, and Andrew Dice Clay. Probably was a lineup at one point.
SPEAKER_13I know, and Seinfeld's just such a such a palette cleanser between those.
SPEAKER_11I know. That's what makes uh I actually don't want to talk about comedy. I was just I was just gonna say something stupid about it's like I wouldn't be like, that's what makes comedy so great is you have so many different acts, and then I was like, boo.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, we're trying not to make this like a comedy markets podcast. Um, all right, well, you have to go see your mother. Yes, I gotta see my mama. We're just gonna take a break. We'll take a quick break and then and then we'll then the rest of the pod will continue. Yeah, sounds good. All right. Uh okay, so I have I have an L of the week. I have two, or I have two Losers of the Week, actually. Uh the first one is Taco Bell because um if you guys know, there is a I think I have a clip here. Is this they have a clip here about um So there is a uh disease or a virus going around that I think everyone has heard about this probably at this point. It's um it's a explosive, it's a parasite that gives you explosive diarrhea. Diarrhea. Jinx. Jinx. Now we both have to shit ourselves. Explosive, do it again. Explosive diarrhea.
SPEAKER_11Welcome to the pod.
SPEAKER_13Welcome to the pod. And we're starting the podcast right now. Explosive diarrhea. So, guys, there is a parasitic infection going on, and apparently it's from lettuce uh and berries and produce. But um, I just read something that apparently it was linked, it was confirmed as being linked to five taco bells in five states. Yep. Um, because their lettuce is tox toxic and it's causing people to have explosive diarrhea and they're losing a bunch of weight. People are online or joking that it's the new Ozempic, ha ha ha ha. Um, but it's it's a funny funny. It is funny, like it is funny, but it's like to do it's like we keep joking about all this stuff. Yeah, it's like a ha ha, the the diarrhea it is weird. It's like it's not funny.
SPEAKER_11Someone's actually like really hurting.
SPEAKER_13An old person's gonna die. Yeah. Because they're going to shit until they're dead. Unfortunately.
SPEAKER_11Wasn't that already a symptom of eating Taco Bell, though? Is this new that like, oh, we're getting explosive diarrhea from Taco Bell? Yeah, I've been getting explosive diarrhea from Taco Bell since I started eating it freshman year of college after a drunk night. Like, that's right.
SPEAKER_13You're just sitting in your bed in your own filth.
SPEAKER_06You're like, I thought that's what it's supposed to do. What do you mean now? Explosive diarrhea now. This is what I've been getting for years.
SPEAKER_11He's like, I thought that's part of the deal. No, but seriously, that's that's what that place does. There was a time like 10 years ago where people found out they were putting horse meat in their in their tacos, and everyone was like, Oh, we can't eat Taco Bell anymore because the there's horse meat, and it's like, well, then tell horses to stop tasting so good.
SPEAKER_13I was about to say, in in the defense of that, horse meat is actually a lean and healthier art healthier alternative to beef. Yes, yes. I've heard that. I've heard, but I do think the the earlier point I'm making is that it's like it is funny. It's like ha ha, the lettuce gives you a parasite that makes you shit your brains out to your dad. It's like, ha ha, Canada like can't get their shit together. So now, like the get air is poisoned.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, yeah. It's like ha ha. Let's make a TikTok video of us walking outside and being like, oh, the air is so smoky. Ha ha ha.
SPEAKER_13And it's like, at what point do we stop? And as I'm I mean, I'm saying this, I I realize the irony of giving this like impassioned speech on a stupid podcast that we just started. But it is like, at what point do we stop making like memes about it and then realize like, oh, the world is like it's poison? We're all losers, like the world wants to kill us. Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_11No, we are every single person in this country, slash all the countries, we're all losers, we're consistently fucking everything for each other, yes, and that is where we find humor, is that we're just on this spinning globe of bullshit. Hey. And I look out into the window right now of our beautiful apartment, and you know, it just looks like shit, brother. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. Okay. I'm turning 26 this year. I don't even know how I'm gonna have health insurance right now.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I don't have health insurance right now. Really? No. Yeah, I'm not gonna have it either. That's probably my L of the year, is I just I don't have health insurance.
SPEAKER_11Is that a problem? Canada's just like, oh, we got health insurance. Oh, and we're gonna burn all our trees and send it down to those that don't have health insurance. Ha ha ha, Canada. Canada's just doing crazy vape tricks tricks right now.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, they're just gonna o' is down.
SPEAKER_11Dude, God's vaping right now.
SPEAKER_13God has he has one of those battery vapes to um yeah, it's not good.
SPEAKER_11No, it's not nothing is um imagine yep, having experienced. Explosive diarrhea with the weather right now would really put a damper on my night. Yeah. It would suck.
SPEAKER_13But also, it's not the worst time to have explosive diarrhea because you're not leaving that crib, anyways. Yeah, if it was like a beautiful day out and all your friends are going to the beach, you'd be like, I can't go. I'm exploding.
SPEAKER_10I'm exploding. You're like, I got shit coming out of my nose. You're like, I'm leaking. I got shit coming out of my ears. I got shit coming out of my nose. I got shit coming out of my toenails.
SPEAKER_13New Yorker who has Taco Bell for the first time. What is this crap?
SPEAKER_11And it's in a serious interview. This is CNN right now. Having to my left, we have Connor Kinsley. He's very sick right now. Connor, can you tell us about the sickness?
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I mean, I had a I had a goat of crunch for the first time. My nephew keeps saying, uh, you gotta have Taco Bell. They don't got good Mexican food in New York, so you gotta have Taco Bell. So I go, okay, I'll try Taco Bell. I ate it 45 minutes later. I'm fucking leaking.
SPEAKER_11Okay. I'm fucking leaking over here. Okay, this just in he's leaking right now. John, can we get something? Yes, I can see that he's leaking. I can see it running down his sweats right now. It's all over his feet. It's really just it's getting into the environment.
SPEAKER_13I get a text on my phone, flash flood warning. I go, buddy, I'm already my pants are already flooding. Okay with all this fucking diarrhea from Taco.
SPEAKER_11Okay, John, are you getting this? Yes, I'm getting this. Okay, so what what moment did you notice the leaks start to occur?
SPEAKER_13Well, I was watching Gutfeld, as I do on Wednesday nights. He makes a funny, suddenly I'm shitting myself.
SPEAKER_11Oh, okay. So the funny caused the runny. That can that'll be that.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, the funny cause, yeah, put it on the thing. The funny caused the runny, this guy.
SPEAKER_11Okay, okay. It's all right.
SPEAKER_13He's over there making a joke about ice shootings. I thought it was hilarious. Yes. Then I shit myself.
SPEAKER_11Did the ice shootings make you shit themselves, or was it the Taco Bell? That's what we can't figure out because Taco Bell's tweet didn't they tweet out?
SPEAKER_13They they put out a statement. They sent me a personal statement to say.
SPEAKER_11What did they tweet? What did they tweet?
SPEAKER_13I they sent it to my phone. They say, We want you to hear it from us.
SPEAKER_11And this is on the notes app, by the way. Yeah, can we stop the bit and just can we can we seriously evaluate this right now?
SPEAKER_13Okay, so Taco Bell, guys, uh, they put out a statement. Oh, wait, they put out a statement for um what they did to the country. They said, We want you to hear it from us. We take your health and safety seriously, and have removed all affected Taylor Farms lettuce from Taco Bell stores. So go ahead and enjoy your Taco Bell today. You always got us, we always got you. See you in the drive-thru.
SPEAKER_11Dude, imagine being on Twitter on the shitter, just explosive diarrhea. You're like, X is the one thing that I like to look at when I'm like dying from diarrhea, and you see this fucking absolute fallacy that they're pushing right now.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. We take your health and safety seriously. It's like, dude, I'm really how seriously because you're putting horse meat in my burrito.
SPEAKER_11Blowing so much shit out of my asshole that it's a jetpack now. I have been launched off of them. Oh, but that's cool that you guys are like in on millennialslash Gen Z trends and wrote a notes app on your Twitter.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, it's like, well, what is it, Charlie XCX? What are we talking about? You're not Charlie. Okay.
SPEAKER_11Imagine the Taco Bell HQ that day. Guy walks in, he's like, guess what? I know we're getting bad press, but a lot of people on Twitter right now, it's a trend. You write a notes app and you send it out to the public and they think it's funny because it's very low effort notes app stuff.
SPEAKER_13No, what they should have done is fed the CEO of the company one of these burritos with like the contaminated lettuce in it, so that he gets the virus and then make him go on 60 minutes and do a full interview while he's so he's like literally like visibly like.
SPEAKER_11He's the biggest loser of the week. He's caused complete stomach pain for the the masses in America. If you're listening to me right now, you destroyed America, you Taco Bell CEO scumbag. I mean a couple other people. And I love your brand. And if you reached out to me and said that you'd like to partner with us, we'd say heck yeah. Because you guys have great Gordita crunches. Yeah, we would. But I don't like the Gordita crunches when they make me shit so hard that I have a jetpack now and I'm getting around town that way. I'm levitating off of the bowl.
SPEAKER_13Yes, because how much peer pressure is coming out. Yes, exactly. I do think though, they should feed him this contaminated food, they should make him go on live TV, and he should just have to sit there and try to give an interview.
SPEAKER_11It'd be like when the McDonald's guy ate the big arch.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, oh yeah. Except way it except way worse. He'd be trying not to shoot his pants, he'd be like sweating, he'd be like, Yeah, we just we're really and he should give that, he should have to give that apology. Yes.
SPEAKER_11But no, what they do is he'd fake it and he'd go, I'm trying a Gordita crunch with the lettuce everyone's worried about now. And he'd pass it right into the side. Oh, yeah, he'd try to do like sleight of hand. Uh-huh. And they'd use they'd use some um special effects. Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_11To make it seem like he's eating it, and then he'd be like, Did we get the shot?
SPEAKER_13It'd be like that. Have you seen that Black Mirror episode where the like the Prime Minister of England has to like have sex with a pig on live TV? Yes, yes, it would be like that. Where like it'd be him in like a blank room with like a single camera, the entire nation's watching, and then in front of him on a table, just a Gordita crunch with just like leafy greens like just like coming out of it. And he's just looking at it like I love our food.
SPEAKER_12It's really good food.
SPEAKER_13Like this just in, we have the Taco Bell CEO giving a press conference about how much he loves his product. It's never made me shit ever, actually. He's like, Yeah, that's just the Gordita Crunch is actually my favorite menu. It's actually quite healthy. Like, and he's now going to take a bite.
SPEAKER_12Parasites are in there like why why are the parasites doodle bob all of a sudden?
SPEAKER_13Like, meow me. What's the what's the Taco Bell CEO's name? I don't look it up. He's no watch. He's sitting there off screen, he's like sitting there just staring at the Gordita Crunch off-screen. The producer's like, take a bite. You have contractually, you have to take one bite.
SPEAKER_11Oh, Sean Tresvent. Dude, yeah, so he's sitting there looking.
SPEAKER_13He's like, he's like, Yeah, I'm about to take a bite. The whole nation's watching. Yeah. People are in pubs, just like there's a guy from the moon landing.
SPEAKER_11He's like, Well, we have it, folks. Five, four.
SPEAKER_03He's like, wait, do the countdown.
SPEAKER_11Five, four, three, two, one. Okay, he's picking up the crunch rep Supreme. He's about to eat it. He's he's it's going into his mouth. We have lived off. Every drunk college girl's like, what's gonna happen? Because they all want to eat Taco Bell again.
SPEAKER_13He's like, this tastes like shit.
SPEAKER_11I've never actually tried. I've never tried this slob. And then someone comes in and they cut the camera and they go, sir, actually, what you need to do is we need to load you with 50 cc's of pure vodka. And once we get that into you, then you'll realize the food here is good.
SPEAKER_13And it'll help kill the virus.
SPEAKER_11Yes. Oh, yeah. Bingo. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe some of you guys are eating sober Taco Bell. I've the thing is, all of the vodka and pure whiskey that I have in my stomach is destroying all the parasites that are involved in that shit. That's brilliant. That's what's happening. Right. It's all because I had Taco Bell. Me and my cousin got Taco Bell two nights ago, and guess what? I was blackout drunk smoking chain smoking cigarettes. Okay. Oh, there's a parasite in this? Brother, my body is filled with parasites already. I have a tapeworm ready to just gobble gobble up all the parasites. Yeah, I'm feeding just a parasite. Yeah. The parasite's drunk. Yeah, the parasite, he's fucked up. He's like, give me some more fucking Taco Bell.
SPEAKER_13No, no, here's what happens. The tapeworm in you is just massive. Just because it's because you're just feeding it Taco Bell every night. It's so drunk. And then the little leafy green parasite gets up to it and he's like, Who do you know here? Yeah. He's like, Do you know anyone? The parasites, the tapeworms. He's like, bro, who do you even know here? Brother. And he's like, Oh, I'm with the leafy greens. He's like, Leafy greens. We don't allow them at this party. They're not, they're not pledges. Get out.
SPEAKER_11Oh. Now he's gonna try and find another smear camp. Try to launch a reverse smear campaign to smear someone else behind the scenes so that all the all the negative press goes towards someone else against Taco Bell.
SPEAKER_13Like another fast food. Oh, right.
SPEAKER_11Yes. Watch out, Wendy's the worst fucking food franchise ever. Dude, I've like never eaten at Wendy's. That's not good at all. I don't think I've ever eaten there. No, it's it's the frosty's kind of good, but nothing is frosty's kind of bangs. It's it bangs, I'm not gonna lie. But yeah, Sean Tress fan, man. You're really fucking everything for everybody. Yeah, Taco Bell CEO. I'm doing all this shit talking. Taco Bell is my number one favorite fast food place other than Chick-fil-A. So um, hey, let's maybe deal with this, okay? Instead of posting stupid Apple notes on your Instagram.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, a little notes app, like it's a song lyric. Let's deal with it, dude. Yeah, it's like you're an indie songwriter. Yeah, cut this shit out, dude. You're not Charlie XCS. Cut the shit out, dog. Yeah, I'm pissed at that guy. I'm fucking. I think he's loser of the week is the Taco Bell CEO.
SPEAKER_11Taco Bell CEO, Sean Trans Fantasy, you are definitely the loser of the week. You're a loser. Because it's so hard to stick up for you guys. I feel like the guy who's always like the guy in the office who's always trying to stick up for Trump with you, because everyone's been saying that you guys give diarrhea, and I'm like, yeah, but it's really good late at night. Like it's delicious late at night. And now you're just proving proving everybody right that you guys do fuck up everyone's stomach.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_11It's annoying.
SPEAKER_13Damn. Pisses me off, man. Well, talk about thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, loser of the week.
SPEAKER_01I was like, uh, what other loser of the week do we have?
SPEAKER_13Okay, so Pete Hagseth, this fucking guy. Um he was talking uh Pete Hagseth, who is the secretary of the Department of War, which used to be the Department of Defense, but now it's Department of War.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely.
SPEAKER_13He did this announcement about how the military needs to like have like be men again, like which has been his whole thing like for a while now, about like, oh, the military needs to be manly again. So he did an announcement saying that they're gonna give military, like men in the military, uh, testosterone replacement uh therapy, which is insane. And uh this is him talking about it.
SPEAKER_02At the Department of War, we have the most elite warriors on the face of the earth. True. Every single day, you are pushed to your absolute physical and mental limits to master the profession of arms. We demand your all, and you give it. But while we invest heavily in our weapon systems, platforms, and gear, our most decisive tactical advantage will always be the individual warfighter. We have a sacred duty to maintain that advantage, which is why we must constantly look for new ways to optimize your performance, your resilience, and your long-term health. And to meet that commitment, today, I'm authorizing a new screening program for testosterone deficiency for our service members, ensuring you have the right testosterone levels to operate at your absolute best. Because it's well-established science that as we age, testosterone levels often naturally drop. Under the supervision of our world-class medical professionals, war fighters age 30 and older are gonna be tested annually as part of their testing.
SPEAKER_11Wait, why why would we not just give them steroids at this point? Like honestly, I think it's like the same, like to just be like, yeah, we're actually gonna we're listening. Guys, we're listening to everything clavicular has to say about sort of raising T and we're gonna make sure that our soldiers are looks maxing to the possible.
SPEAKER_13They're gonna bring him in, not him again, bro.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, we need a new guy.
SPEAKER_13Like the military, we're not gonna have like we're not doing trans people in the military, we're not doing any of this, but then to be like, but like we're gonna give you guys some hormones.
SPEAKER_11Isn't that what trans therapy is? Is like taking like testosterone or estrogen?
SPEAKER_13Yes, in certain cases, yeah.
SPEAKER_11He's making the military trans, nothing. Which is pretty that's pretty progressive.
SPEAKER_13The thing is, he's basically saying we're gonna give all of them gender-affirming care. Like, that's yeah, that's like the whole thing.
SPEAKER_11Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_13He's like, well, they're not man enough, so we're gonna give them testosterone so that they're then they'll be man enough. Right, right. And I'm like, you can't do that and then also be like, we don't want trans people in the military.
SPEAKER_11Right, right, exactly. It's like that what? Dude, that's that's pretty cool of him then. He's being he's being more progressive lately.
SPEAKER_13I mean, maybe, but it's it's just weird. It's no, it's so but I agree with you. It's like if we're gonna give him testosterone, it's like, let's take it back to the old days. Let's give them meth, let's give them steroids, yes, let's give them uh mushrooms so they can like berserker mushrooms.
SPEAKER_11Let's give the soldiers testosterone and then the people who work in the office buildings for the military estrogen so that they can be better schedulers. Right. Soldiers testosterone and then estrogen to the people who are, you know, really like uh um setting setting things up and um scheduling, because you know, estrogen I feel like helps with scheduling and things like that.
SPEAKER_13Okay. That's that's the plan. It's just it it's just so dumb to me.
SPEAKER_11It's very stupid.
SPEAKER_13But I think that it's like if you're gonna do one of them, do them all.
SPEAKER_11Give them everything. Right, right. Just give them fucking just give them steroids and cocaine. Just give them a couple. Imagine that, an army just filled with dudes who are on cocaine steroids. And I mean, that is pretty much what George Washington's army in the revolutionary. Dude, we would win. Yes.
SPEAKER_13No, I think that's no, the the cocaine steroids were out. That's good for when an army used to be like an army, like fighting, like actually fighting people and like hand-to-hand combat. Nowadays, it's like it's all like missile strikes and drone pilots and shit. And it's like you can't have people. That's also the flaw in the logic.
SPEAKER_11I don't think he's the fucking messiah. Like, we just want to try someone fucking crucifying.
SPEAKER_13They're all drinking acid wine, bro. That's the problem. Exactly. I think like with this, so much of like modern warfare now is like mechanized and with machines and shit. So it's like, I don't think you necess it necessarily helps you if you're a drone operator to have more testosterone.
SPEAKER_11Yes, you're right.
SPEAKER_13No, if anything, it just means you're gonna like rage quit the game. Like you'll be flying a drone and you'll be like, fuck, it's not fucking working.
SPEAKER_11You throw the console for your drone against the wall and like it presses a button and then just bomb strikes a whole drone wedding.
SPEAKER_13Bing. Maybe that's how that happens.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, because you're all teed up because Pete Hegseth told you to start taking more tea.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, you don't want to be teed up. No, when you're trying to like fly a drone, or if you're like a F-35 jet pilot, you don't want to be like the guy that's like you like that you can barely fit in the copy.
SPEAKER_11That's how 9-11 happened.
SPEAKER_13I don't know.
SPEAKER_11Because they took a bunch of tea and then they were saw the towers and they're like, fuck yeah!
SPEAKER_13I I don't think no, they weren't on tea, they just had righteous indignation.
SPEAKER_11No, dude, that's exactly what happened. They were like think about it. That's how suicide bombings happen. Because you're you're in your strat you're in like an F1 or something and you're going and you're like, I fucking let's just fucking barrel them. Like I'll just do the hole.
SPEAKER_13I just I feel like people aren't listening to me. Yes, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I just think that like doing like it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. We're not like it's not like Attila the Hun and his warriors anymore. We're not fighting people with swords. It's like yeah, it's all like drones and fucking AI and robotics.
SPEAKER_11It's just gonna be fucking people.
SPEAKER_13It's like historically the stereotype is like meat head people are not the people that are like the science nerds that know how to do this shit. No. So it's like if you're juicing up everyone with t with testosterone, that's gonna fuck with their like their judge, their better judgment.
SPEAKER_11Wouldn't that like if it even a ground troop, wouldn't that kind of fuck with you? Because then you're like, I feel like pretty juiced up, and you're like trigger happy now. Yeah, you're like, I'm doing great. Yes, fuck yeah. Yeah, you'd be very trigger happy, you'd be overly confident. Maybe that'll become the new like war crime alibi to be like, dude, yes, I killed a civilian, but like I was really juiced on T because of Pete. Pete, yeah, Pete made me juice up on T.
SPEAKER_13It's not my fault.
SPEAKER_11I may have killed a couple people that were civilians, but it's because I had a machine gun and I was really juiced on tea.
SPEAKER_13I was feeling really confident. I had a good day at the gym. Yes. I was having a really good arm day. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11I wonder if there's any positives to it. I don't know. I mean, you'd have to think there's people who are like smart thinking about things like this and be like, oh.
SPEAKER_13I mean, I think testosterone, I know I think it helps with like obviously like your muscle mass.
SPEAKER_11It helps you stay more alert.
SPEAKER_13I think it helps with like recovery. It probably does help with certain aspects, but I do know that there are other negative side effects to it where it's like you are going to become like more aggressive, and that could kind of play with your judgment a little bit. Absolutely. Aggression defin, I mean, we like any bar fight, aggression definitely clouds people's judgment. For sure. Oh my god. So it's like, is it a good idea to attack this guy in a bar even though all of his friends are standing right behind him and I'm here alone? Yes. You're like, fuck it. I'm gonna do it anyways. And then you get cursed. Oh god. God, guys, we're getting a call.
SPEAKER_11Who is that?
SPEAKER_13It's my buddy John.
SPEAKER_11Should we ask him?
SPEAKER_13Yeah. John. John. John, you're on you're on the loser's pod. You're live.
SPEAKER_09Dude, hell yeah. I'm always going to be on the loser's pod.
SPEAKER_11Hell yeah. You got a story for us?
SPEAKER_13John, what is the biggest worst thing that's happened to you this week? What's the worst thing? What's the worst thing you've ever done with your life?
SPEAKER_09The worst thing I've ever done to be.
SPEAKER_11Actually, yeah, that's so it's all Connor's fault. You don't take public account. I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I mean, I hate taking accountability, but more so this is about Connor convinced. Like, I could have had a family by now in Philly. I could have been like I could have been a lawyer, I could have been doing cool stuff, I could have had like a vacation.
SPEAKER_11That's so true. The reason I'm on air right now is Connor's fault.
SPEAKER_09I know, it's kind of insane. It's like he's like, yo, you should do this thing. It's so funny. It's so funny. It'll be hilarious. It's so funny.
SPEAKER_11Two white dudes sitting on a couch talking about bullshit. Yes.
SPEAKER_09Exactly.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, sorry, pal.
SPEAKER_09Look, sorry, pal.
SPEAKER_11Do you have another story like of something this week? Yeah, have you taken any? Maybe it was like a date or something like that that happened to you that you were like, I felt like a true little bitch. Like a loser.
SPEAKER_13Just a loser moment. Have you taken any L's this week or last week that you're willing to share on the pod?
SPEAKER_09Yeah, so last night, Shabbat dinner. Not really, though, because I went to Sayla's Christian dinner. Not actually Christian, but she's not Jewish. Sayla, your girlfriend? Sayla's my girlfriend. She invited me over to her mom's house for dinner. I get there. Everyone's doing karaoke. Okay. The food is like about an hour and a half. Like I usually like to arrive at some place like a little fashion really late. So I'm going to wait until someone's cooking. So we wait like an hour and a half. And they're doing karaoke for pretty much this entire hour and a half years. There's frozen, there's gel, there's everything. It's just kind of a shit channel. Um because they're all really good singers, and it's like, oh god, why don't they fucking come here? I mean, it was all good fun. I don't want to be like a grouch about it, but it was just like I think when people invite you to karaoke, and it's like they they're really good and they expect you to kind of be at the standard, and it's like this it's sort of like a humiliation ritual, honestly.
SPEAKER_11It is kind of a humiliation ritual. I don't think I've ever done karaoke with people that are good. I feel like the whole point of karaoke is to be bad. Like that's what makes it fun.
SPEAKER_13Did you kind of like immediately kill the vibe when you went up? Like, were they all like being like really performative, and then you went up and you were kind of like, uh-huh-huh-huh-huh.
SPEAKER_09Like Yeah, it's just like I my confidence, like they could just kind of smell the low confidence on me.
SPEAKER_13They can kind of smell the low T. This guy can't smell it.
SPEAKER_09The low T. Yeah. Dude, I need Shila G. I need like it's my low T, I need Shila G.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. Now tell us about Shila G. What is that?
SPEAKER_09So it comes from like an ancient uh it comes from a rock in the Malays. And has 94 of the minerals that you need. It's really good for your if you're feeling impotent as a man. And on the left ladies, I mean, look, man, we're all feeling a little impotent sometimes.
SPEAKER_13I mean, dude, we were just talking about Petex uh wanting to give the military tea. So I mean, we're on we're we're totally on board with what you're saying.
SPEAKER_09High T. Yeah, yeah, he's a high tea professional.
SPEAKER_11Yes. He's actually the biggest high tea professional. That's his job in the US military right now.
SPEAKER_09Exactly. The flyovers will continue until morale improves.
SPEAKER_13That's my favorite, bro. Did you see that? Yeah. That was so funny. Um, so we should be taking Shilajit. And do you sell this?
SPEAKER_09We do sell it at www. Organicsocean.com. You can get Sheila Gummies if you don't like the taste of the Sheila G regular.
SPEAKER_13Is there a promo code? No, no, no.
SPEAKER_09Is there a promo code that we can put on the screen?60 for 60% of it.
SPEAKER_11Were you on Sheila G when you uh couldn't sing a note?
SPEAKER_09Oh, I don't take that stuff. I can't. That's honestly it would give me two tort too twerked out.
SPEAKER_13Dude, I love that. You're like, guys, take this stuff. Use the promo code. And then we're like, yeah, has it helped you? You're like, oh, I don't take that. Good God. Oh, good.
SPEAKER_11What do you think? I'm crazy. Never, ever, ever dip a toe in the Sheila G.
SPEAKER_13That's like we were just talking about uh the Taco Bell, like all the parasite shit going down. And how like it's like the CEO doing an interview where he's like, Oh, I've he's like, Oh, I've never had this food.
SPEAKER_09Oh, this is disgusting. Yeah, it's like the McDonald's.
SPEAKER_11He's like, We brought up the big arch guy, and he's like, Yeah, the big arch bigger. This is great.
SPEAKER_09And he looks like how sexual alpha that is. Yeah. The name of that. I don't know. Maybe not this.
SPEAKER_11What does that mean? The big arch.
SPEAKER_09It's like McDonald's, like darches, but I think it's just like the sexualization. It's like this suggestible vocab that they love to use. The brands love to use.
SPEAKER_11Because they're like, Yeah, Gen Z will love this.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, like the big slut burger, like the back shots. Danny loves to say the back shots burger. That's his whole thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Uh so I mean, I'm not gonna trade, I'm not gonna hop on his, you know, step on his toes there, but yeah. That is a pretty fun idea, too. Like the burgers never pull out idea.
SPEAKER_11Burgers never pull out. The burgers stick.
SPEAKER_13I feel like there are places sometimes where it's like you can customize like the burger and have it made a certain way. And it's like, do you want it like messy, sloppy, or cummy?
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_13You're like, uh.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, that's like if you go to like a uh and you're like, no, I just want a burger.
SPEAKER_13They're like, no, but you have to choose one. And you and you need to say it out loud right now. Like, I guess I'll get it sloppy, and they're like, Are you sure you don't want it cummy? Cummy and sloppy. You're like, no, I just I just want it sloppy.
SPEAKER_09It's a Joe's sloppy way.
SPEAKER_11I think that's what you you go to a speakeasy in like Brooklyn now, and the drink menu is like all their special drinks, and it's like, I feel so weird. I have to like say to the to the uh bartender, I'm like, Yeah, can I get the daddy daddy yes, please, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy drink? She's like, Yes, of course. Would you like to?
SPEAKER_09I was hoping you'd say that.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, she's like, that's actually a fan favorite. Gross. And we'll give you 45 bucks. And we'll do back shots for the lady.
SPEAKER_13We're gonna and we're gonna do back shots for her.
SPEAKER_11Yes. The drink.
SPEAKER_13Damn. Well, dude, I'm sorry that your uh karaoke didn't go well. Yeah, me too.
SPEAKER_09No, it's okay. I mean, like, it's like they're really good and all. It's like kind of fun just to watch people who are against singing.
SPEAKER_11Right.
SPEAKER_09Um, you know, like Hakuna Matada, you're doing like um some Adele, some stuff like that. It's it's fun to watch. It's fun to watch. I mean, I had like 30 or 40 glasses of wine, it was great.
SPEAKER_13Of course. Well, dude, thanks, thanks for calling in to the call in. Thanks for sharing your alley. We appreciate the uh vulnerability.
SPEAKER_09Where we talk about it.
SPEAKER_13Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Say all of that again because you you I think there was muffled or something.
SPEAKER_09This is the one-minute podcast segment where we talk about inside podcasts. When you import something to Adobe Auditions, do you do the LR segment or do you not do the LR segment?
SPEAKER_13I'll call you.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, never mind. Okay, yeah, you guys have fun.
SPEAKER_13We're no we're gonna finish the pod in a second and I'll and I'll I'll text you.
SPEAKER_09Of course. Yeah, yeah. You guys have a great time. Thanks for letting me call in. Of course. Of course. You guys have a sweet night.
SPEAKER_13I'll talk to you soon, buddy.
SPEAKER_09Talk to you.
SPEAKER_11Audios. I uh we gotta cover AOC before we go.
SPEAKER_13Um, I think we do have to cover AOC. Um what's her deal?
SPEAKER_11She's got a new accent in Memphis. Because you know when she goes on campaigns, she always changes her accent.
SPEAKER_13It's like the Kamala. It's the Kamala effect. Uh it's this one here.
SPEAKER_05We cannot afford to leave Tennessee behind.
SPEAKER_12Behind.
SPEAKER_05We cannot afford to leave Kentucky behind, Alabama behind, Mississippi behind, Georgia behind, South Carolina behind.
SPEAKER_13We cannot afford to leave Mississippi behind. So what wait, what are you what are you saying? You're accusing her of something.
SPEAKER_11Of being a loser because she switches her voice to appeal to crowds.
SPEAKER_13So are you saying she's doing kind of a big action?
SPEAKER_11I've heard her do an Asian accent, I've heard her do a black accent, I've heard you've heard her do an Asian accent? Yes, and I've heard her do, I think. I don't want to spew.
SPEAKER_13I think she's done kind of like a Jewish voice, hasn't she?
SPEAKER_11Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_13I'm pretty sure I saw a clip of her with like meeting with like New York, like a New York like Jewish community like committee or something, and she was kind of like playing up some of the like mannerisms a little bit. I don't know if she's done the Asian thing, but that's I think I'm wrong.
SPEAKER_11I apologize for the slander, but gotta be honest.
SPEAKER_13We cannot afford to leave South Carolina behind, Mississippi behind. As she keeps going through it, you can kind of hear it increasing.
SPEAKER_11She's like, behind, we cannot afford to leave Mississippi behind. She's in Georgia. Wait, can you do a Georgia draw, like Southern draw? We can't afford to leave Georgia.
SPEAKER_12Well, we can't afford to leave Georgia.
SPEAKER_11We can't afford to leave the Georgians without health care.
SPEAKER_12We need to have universal health care for all of Georgia.
SPEAKER_13They go, this uh this thick booty Latina here is speaking some facts.
SPEAKER_10She's kind of speaking the truth up there.
SPEAKER_11I think I think transgenders should be able to play with the girls. We can't leave them behind because she's smoking a pipe now. See, I think the transgenders need to be able to play with the girls. There's some black woman in the front row who's like, what the hell is she talking about?
SPEAKER_13What the hell is she doing?
SPEAKER_11There's some country bucks like, I really agree with everything that AOC's saying lately. I think she makes some good points. I'm I'm sick of the Republicans coming around here.
SPEAKER_10Got him. I don't know. That wasn't that funny.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, so AOC. AOC, maybe, you know, yeah, maybe chill a little bit on the accent there. I personally like Karl Marx. Well, I reckon Karl Marx is a good idea. I reckon Karl Marx has some good pointers. He got some good ideas, that Karl Marx fella. We should be in control of the means of production, not the oligarchs. What are we doing?
SPEAKER_11I'm sick of this country mistreating mistreating colored folk.
SPEAKER_13I just think your jingoistic outlook's actually quite flawed. See, the problem is the fundamentals of your philosophy are flawed. You understand what I'm saying? See, listen to me. Listen to me. I'm sick of the billionaires owning everything. This girl Leo C, she's got a point. See, the problem is that we're being manipulated by a shadow government that utilizes corporate money to influence the voting in a way that does not reflect community outlooks. That's my problem. AOC.
SPEAKER_11I don't get why everyone was so negative about Stalin. I mean, Surrey killed a lot of people in Russia, USSR, but it's like, you know, he was keeping the billionaires away. I like this AOC gal. She's got a couple good points.
SPEAKER_13See, everybody's concerned with China invading Taiwan. And if they do that, it's going to disrupt the trade routes of cyber chips that we need in order to increase our AI infrastructure. See, now people seem shocked when I when I speak like this. See, see, now I may only have two teeth, but I got a functioning brain.
SPEAKER_11I'm happy Ukraine was building an army and we were sending our money over there. See, the problem now is A D was.
SPEAKER_13Now there's there's miles and miles of fiber optic cables all over the countryside of the Ukraine. See, a lot of people shock when I start talking about this. They don't think I know, but I know.
SPEAKER_11And how about Palantir with Peter Deal? Man, my. I just turned into Joe from Family Guy. Peter Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter Deal. Hey, Peter. Let's talk about Palantir.
SPEAKER_06Peter, what do you what are you doing with those flock cameras, Peter? Hey, Peter.
SPEAKER_11See, I like this mom donny guy. I like that he's freezing the rent, so the billionaires are getting out of New York City. Probably won't work.
SPEAKER_13See, see, personally, I like waking up in the morning and hearing them do that prayer call. I I personally I like it. Everyone's complaining about it. I go, it's actually kind of nice. They hit a certain intonation, and it kind of makes me get in touch with reality a little more. I go, this is actually happening in real time. I go, that man really cares about his faith.
SPEAKER_11I don't think we all should get sworn in on the Koran.
SPEAKER_13My grandpa fought in Koran.
SPEAKER_11This is so stupid. Southern Muslim is so funny.
SPEAKER_13Well, see, I'm pretty stupid. People are shocked, but I like I like prayer twice a day. I like Muhammad. I think he knew what he was doing. So you have to see you see, you put your t you put your your thing down, put your little plate, your put your put your little placard down, your little mat, like yoga.
SPEAKER_11I've been doing this since I was a little baby boy.
SPEAKER_13And you face Mecca. I face Mecca.
SPEAKER_11We'll face Mecca and we'll go get some gator bites afterwards.
SPEAKER_13Look, and I love barbecue, but we do not cook pork.
SPEAKER_11No. You understand me? Hell no. We do not do that. We don't do shellfish either, goddammit.
SPEAKER_13I do beef ribs, and that's it. None of them, none of them crawdads. That's what I do. None of that stuff. No bacon. No bacon. I like mom daddy. Inshallah, brother. All right, let's do it. Let's get out of here. I think I think we need to wrap this one up.
SPEAKER_11I think we covered some good topics today.
SPEAKER_13Um, yeah, we covered some good ground.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_13I was kind of all over the place.
SPEAKER_11That was great. Once again, this has been uh the losers podcast. I hope you've learned something today. And if you didn't, that's kind of the point of the podcast. So I don't hope you lose something.
SPEAKER_13Is to not learn anything.
SPEAKER_11Went on, I went back on everything that I said. Um just a quick note. Uh I will be opening for Jeff Dye tomorrow on the 19th of July at 8th p.m. at the Stand Comedy Club. This won't be out, so the next time you hear about me, I'll be raving about what a good set I had. Hopefully. Hopefully. Um, but we are both doing a show at uh New York Comedy Club for Chucklefest, the show that I run. And this will be out before then, so make sure you go get your tickets. You got anything else to plug?
SPEAKER_13No, just Chucklefest. I'll put the link in the in the bio for the pod. Um, the link in the show notes below. For sure. July 31st, New York Comedy Club. We're gonna be freaking serving up some fresh jokes.
SPEAKER_11Uh fresh ass jokes.
SPEAKER_13Thanks for tuning in, guys.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, thanks for tuning in.
SPEAKER_13See ya. See ya.