Episode 4 - Sian becoming a mum and building a legacy

Sian is proof of when life throws you challenges and you just go with your gut and live your life by your core values good things come to good people. 

Juggling a break up, working full time, then becoming pregnant, buying a house that needs renovating but another path evolves.

Being a mum first and having no option but to make it work.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

No, you know, you you might be in a wheelchair. I'm gonna bring you to the gym. Sure as shit I am. That space is for everybody. Yeah. I had postnatal depression after my daughter. Basically, I had this option of I go into this now or I don't, and then thinking, oh my god, I'm gonna have to fund all these house renovations, and I've literally just thought my notice in my job. What the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Welcome to episode three of Spill the Milk. We are here with Sean today. Very exciting, our first guest, and we are podding from the print works in where are we? Yeah, yes. In Trostra. Yeah, in Trostra. But the most amazing food. Um, you should see the Scotch eggs that are on display today. I am getting a Scotch egg later. Absolute hidden gem. Yeah, honestly. Just going back to like the origin of your whole story, which is always important. Yeah. Uh, and for anybody that doesn't know, um tell us a bit about your business and take us back to the moment that the idea of it was born.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Oh, I so I've been a qualified physiol now. So I'm well, I've been a physiotherapist the last is it 10 years? No, just under 10. Um, so I went to Cardiff University anyway, went through NHS, and then after COVID, fancied a change. So that's where I went self-employed. But it was quite quickly into self-employment that I found out I was expecting. So that was fun in games. I think it was literally, yeah, no, literally, like, and it was at a point where it's like, um, I think after COVID, perspective changed some things. I was like, I want to try something different, and you know, thinking, oh, I haven't got any dependence, now is the time to do it. I think literally it was like a week into the job. I was like, I I don't feel right. The boobs hurt, yeah, yeah. The boobs long story short, um, found out I was expecting after going half-employed, so I wasn't off maternity leave for long because I didn't really have any maternity allowance. I had maternity allowance, but I didn't have maternity like Saturday maternity pay.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Um, but I worked as a subcontractor, and then what started off then Keith Westa as it is today, um, basically came on the back of me doing an event with DS Fitness. So I know Dek and the family from old, like we, you know, we know each other from the local rugby club. Chrysler might be back in the day, we actually played tag rugby together. That's how far we go back, really, with the family. Um, and my cousin was going through uh immunotherapy treatment, but unfortunately, due to NHS and nice guidance restrictments, he wasn't able to get a third dose for the immunotherapy, like a third round for the immunotherapy, so they could only have two. So we were at a point as a family to try and well, family and community really to try and raise money for Luke. Uh, and Deck very kindly hosted an in-house Hyrux event, which was then going to fundraise money towards his immunotherapy to try and get it privately. So he I think he put a post up online basically saying um if there's any massage therapist locally, get in touch. And like being so close to home, seen the post, found out he was doing the event. Luke being my first cousin, I was like, Christ, cut me in, like, I'm there. Yeah, um, my cousin on my other side of the family. So this was mum's side, uh, Luke was going through treatment. Dad's side, then she was actually studying sports um massage in in college. So I messaged her and said, Do you want to come down? So we both did the event and it was a great success, raised a lot of money, fair does, it was brilliant, and they were so selfless what they did. On the back of that, lots of people then messaging me saying, Oh, are you gonna do some days in Kidwelly? And I was working as a subcontractor elsewhere, so I had basically like full-time work elsewhere, so I was like, Oh right, okay. Um yeah, yeah, I'll I'll look into it. So I did like a one-day week pop-up clinic basically in the local hall in Kidwelly. Um, and it just it it was busy, it got round basically. I was like, oh shit, okay, might need to do a second day here. Oh wow. Did a second day. Um Ryan, then who's with me now also, yeah, uh, was on the same course as my cousin Claudia, so he joined. So there's two sports massage therapists and myself as a physio, and we were just chalkers, absolute chalkers, and it just it came down to a point there then where the the side hustle was getting so busy, yeah, it was a bit of a crossroads, yeah. And I had a conversation with my boss then, and I just I just made that decision basically to go to the side hustle, and I just threw myself into it. Um, kind of a fucking to find out more. Yeah, yeah. Just go for it. I think the fear had gone been because I'd gone through a separation and divorce that year before, and then Luke, you know, going through what he was going through, and like he was such a oh like enigmatic character of just grab life by the balls and go for it. So I was just a bit like life's too short. Yeah, and this this train is leaving the platform. I either watch it go and wonder where it went, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I get on it, and so I did, basically. We were so like it was so scary, but I think probably you guys know as well. Energy flows where energy goes.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Massively.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

And so because I put my energy into that, I think it wouldn't be if I kept trying to do it as a side, I don't think it would have survived.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

So the fact that I went head first into it, and like it was very, very scary, don't get me wrong.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yes, um, it always is it paid off, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

It pays off, yeah. Well that's it, and I think it's it's the confidence to do it, isn't it? And like I think having worked as a subcontractor and then previously in the NHS, you kind of get used to being safe because you know work's kind of given to you, but now this was going out and getting work, but also getting work for others. That's been the really scary bit of starting off because it hasn't just been me as a physio, it's been me as a physio with sports massage therapist. Yeah, and it's and it's grown from there now.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

So you and that's happened quite quickly over the last few years, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:27

I mean it's not even been a year yet, so it's been October as well. Yeah, October. It was this hang on, when did the Hyrule's event was April last year? Yeah because Luke then passed, unfortunately, in the June. But it was I think they put my notice in for my job then August time, worked up until my contract. September then is when I finished, and literally I was doing little bits on the side, but I was still under like CSR physiotherapy back then um before actually launching into Guidwatla. Yeah, I think lots of people get you know, get get thinking and get the idea of right, I'm gonna go do this. For me, in a strange little way, none of that happened. I I feel very, very honoured to have been I felt like it was given to me because doing and it was like a it was a volunteer thing, you know. I wasn't I wasn't getting money. Any money I was getting on the day was going towards yeah, you know, so this was totally on the back of just like putting myself out there in the community. Obviously, it was for my cousin, so it meant so much more than that. Yeah, but it it was literally like as if someone said, Right, okay. I feel like that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

You've started a karma situation there, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 7:41

I planted a seed now, and and it's gonna grow for you, really, rather than trying to go out and start a business. I felt I felt really privileged to have the community come to me because a need was identified, like there wasn't really there was a service I think that was there like one day a week, but not consistent.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Um, but the need quickly became apparent that actually there is need for a physiotherapist in Kidwelly and supply in the local area. So it's just like it's an all-brainer, I'm from the area.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

I kind of want to put a spin on that, right? Well, when you say like it was kind of given to me, right? I always say the good comes out of the things you do. So the fact that you were just a genuine good person went out and that, yeah, again, whether it was your cousin or not, I reckon you would have done it to be honest. If they had said, Oh, would you mind? You would have been that.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

But I say that with any person. Like chasing money as a business, it's hard when you get fixated. Yeah, yeah, I've got to get money. But actually, if you look at your values, if you look at your drive and your why, that will that will get you all the money that you need. And then you've got the respect, the honesty, the trust from people. There's absolutely no reason why you can't thrive. Yeah, I understand. And yeah, I would say that that wasn't given.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

No, thank you. I it it's so and it's so easy, I think. Do you know like when money is involved? Because obviously you want to feel safe and you want to feel that reassurance that money is coming in. So people do tend to chase money, but for this, I think it was more on the value of don't get me wrong, it was hard going because I was basically working the evenings after my job. Um, so you know, I I was working being self-employed though, I was I was doing like report, writing notes and things like that outside of my actual working hours. So god, with the two evenings a week, then it was clocking up a lot. But I was prioritising it when my daughter was with her dad. Yeah. So then I wasn't missing out on time then when I had her. So for example, like I would take the Wednesday off, and that was my time with her then.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Kids, not got kids, a dog, a family, friends, yeah. Like being able to juggle that at the beginning and not really knowing the ins and outs are hard.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

No, and that's it. It's you're a parent first, business owner second, yeah, and it's it's hard because there have been, and I I can't I can't thank my clients enough, but they've been so understanding. There's some instances where the little one's been a well, oh, I've sampled the latest virus she's brought back from nursery. Not for six. And I'm like, I can't make it into work today.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Yeah, they're quite good for that. I hate it when people go around and like spread germs just to get business.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Yeah, well, I I work with quite vulnerable like clients as well. So, like um, some are immunocompromised or some are kind of like wheelchair dependent. So, like their immune system, if they get if they get something then they're totally knocked by it. So, um, and it's hard because it in a sense I'm losing income on that day, but actually I'm putting their health first, which puts their trust in me. Because at the end of the day, it isn't just about income for me, it is about providing a service to the community, yeah. Which we love.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Talk us through like what you actually do day to day. I know that you're at DS, but you're also in the community in Kidwelly as well.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

So, day to day, honestly, every day is a different day, which is lovely. Um, I'm a weird one in the sense of I do like routine, but I get bored of it quickly. Never been diagnosed, but I think like I relate a lot in your ice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

I think we're all on.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

I think we're all on. But I am I'm a bugger for it. I'm like, oh, I just need to be consistent with routine, and I'm like, bam, I'm gonna go do this project. Um, so daily, so when I my daughter's with me that day, generally drop off first thing in the morning to nursery, and I think for me, what was important is to be a parent first. So I I try my very best to do the drop-offs and pickups, which is difficult because of the nursery hours too. Yeah, um, so she'll be starting school soon. So I'm hoping that'll be a little bit more of a consistent pattern, but I'll drop off. Depends on the day. Some days I'm in clinic, so I'll go down to clinic and I'll see my clients within clinic. And what the beauty is is that being inside the gym, I'm not just a clinic physio. I'm not gonna like here's your exercise seat. Off you go, right? You're having trouble with squats, you're shifting off to right. Come on, let's get you under the bar, let's have a little look, what's going on? Um, I'm quite a practical approach person, so I'm like, right, I'm gonna try this exercise programme with you. If you don't get on with it, I know I'm gonna adapt it for you elsewhere. Then rather than saying, try these, come back and let me know. We're gonna try it now. I'm gonna see how you get on, right? We need to adapt this, dot that. And I think poor dabs, I throw so much at them. They're kind of like, is this adaptation gonna be on exercise programme? Like, yes, yes, I will write this down. Um, and then I'll generally I tend to have like two days a week, then when I'm in the community, and that then looks at me going on kind of going out and covering a bit of everywhere in Comarthanshire. Um, so I do that as community, but I also do a lot within the medical legal sector as well. So I work with those who've had either uh catastrophic injuries from like road traffic collisions or um kind of accidents at work, but I also work with those who've had um like medical negligence who have ended up having injuries as a result of that care, then um, so yeah, that's what my old job was when I was working as a subcontractor. So I've kind of continued within that, and I love the challenge of it. So when I was working in the NHS, I was a specialist within trauma orthopedics, so and like had a particular interest in polytraumal care. I enjoyed the challenge of trying to help those who felt they were unhealthy and unable to actually have that help. They were like, I remember one chap, bless him in COVID, had um an external fixator, so you're like the metal cages, um, on his pelvis. So he had what we call an open book fracture. So his pelvis had basically over like a book. So they put um because of COVID, they weren't able to transfer him down to Morriston. They actually pinned him and had an external fixator, and he was very much of the opinion, I'm not gonna get out of bed. And I was like, Yes, you are. Oh, watch this face. Obviously, Surgeon was happy with it, like as in the orthopedic, so happy with it and all. Um, and he did, he went home. He had a he had um like a large frame, we call it pulpit frame, so he could wait bare on that comfortably, but we got him home. Wow. And then when the time came out, but it just reduced his complications risk and things like that then.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

What was one thing that people get wrong about the business?

SPEAKER_01 14:22

I think um what's interesting, obviously, I've got sports massage therapists working in the clinic, but they tend to get mixed up between physio and sports massage. Okay, um, I think more people are becoming aware of it now, especially with me sharing some more stuff about community online. I think some were just thinking that I only treated sports injuries, which is far from it.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Um I'm kind of a jack of all trades and master of none in that sense of the phrase. Um, I've worked at more senior levels within multiple specialties. So I've worked within kind of trauma and orthopedics, I've worked within new roles of clinical lead as well. So I've helped treat those who've had like Parkden, Parkinson's stroke, traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury. Um and it was in the same toolbox, just different applications to everybody, really. So rather than it just being, you know, just a sports injury. No, I'm I'm there to cater for everybody in the community.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

I'm just guessing because your clinic is based in a gym, people might get that.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Yeah, until they know. And that I think for me, where we are in Kadwelli, the demographic is more older adult. And like I think the beauty of me being in the clin uh in you know with the clinic in DS Fitness is actually no, you know, you you might be in a wheelchair, I'm gonna bring you to the gym. Sure as shit, I am. Yeah, yeah. That space is for everybody, yeah. Um, not just those who are can like, you know, definition of physically abled if you want to call it that, because everybody is able in their own circumstances 100%. Um so and that that's what actually happened is what's quite nice. Is obviously I've had clients come through from the gym who've possibly had injuries, you know, spoken or within the gym space, or going for a while, isn't it? I'm not quite sure where to go. Um, but then again, I've brought individuals into the clinic and then into the gym, and they're now members. Um so one thing I've started is the venue vach fitness classes so it was originally aimed at more mature women, but I've we've changed that now because I've I've seen younger faces because I think it it niched a little bit, and actually, I think it's purposeful for all women to provide like a safe space of if you haven't been you know in a gym before or haven't been for a little while, not quite sure to start. Yes, you know, there's a nice little step in stuff, like stone to get into, but also from a balanced perspective. So um just there's some of the stuff I throw at them, they're absolute legends, right? They just they go through the motions with me. Um and they're like, really? And like, yeah, yeah, it'll make sense, I promise.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Um, but it's just a nice way, and you know, a few of my ladies who've come in to that class now are now class members in the gym. So they've got access to other classes. Oh my god, that's so good.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

What were you holding together behind the scenes that people didn't see?

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Oh god, yeah, lots. I'm not gonna start trauma dumping a problem.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

I mean I'm here for it.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Well, literally though, like I went to I went to one of Luce's breath sessions um like the 6am on the beach, absolutely incredible. And just holding space for yourself, like literally sometimes I started like the the I started freaking, the edges are coming apart because I think when obviously I'd I'd separated and then got divorced. Luke was going through what he's going through. So as a family, things are just so rocky, anyways. And I think the uncertainty of then also going fully on my own and thinking, oh shit, am I actually going to be able to survive with this and get income? Um to add to the complexity too, I I'd um basically bought a house outright, no mortgage on it, and I needed a lot of work on it, and I needed money to obviously renovate it, but I needed to find time to do it. And that was back in the March. Now the the fundraising session was in April, and this is when all the business. So I'd literally just bought a house outright, had no other savings behind it, was then trying to save up, thinking, oh yeah, I've got it's a reliable, stable job that I'm gonna do, and then did a fundraising event, and then was like basically had this option of I go into this now or I don't, and then thinking, oh my god, I'm gonna have to fund all these house renovations, and I've literally just put my notice in my job. What the fuck are you doing? But I very much hit like that. Um, can you call it a code life crisis? Yeah, I it's I think it's a it's a definition, but in a sense, I think I felt personally activated, like it was it was just like I love that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

In the sense of I was gonna say, you have to make it work.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

You do, you just have to do, yeah, and you just gotta roll with it. And I think I don't like uncertainty, so then to have that so much uncertainty, I was just a bit like, oh Jesus Christ, yeah. So I think the hardest thing with setting up the business was just juggling everything else, you know, being a parent, buying this house that needed renovations. I then got slapped basically with this empty home premium tax, so they were doubling my tax on top of it, yeah, yeah. Cheeky buggers, and then being worried about where income was coming in. Um, the joys of obviously, you know, having been through a separation and a divorce. After a period of time, I actually did start a relationship with someone else, and that was horrifically bad. Um oh god, that's a podcast in itself, I think.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Same tune for part two, yeah. Same time next week.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yeah, yeah, but like that experience was literally around the same time I was buying the house, so I was feeling very emotionally raw, which I think fooled me. Then losing Luca to be like, just fuck it, just doing it. So there were just so many plates basically I was spinning that I probably hadn't processed, but um, I'm quite like spiritual anyways, and I think how Luce and I kind of connect is like spirituality of things, and like my my moon sign, because I'm a Scorpio son, but my Capricorn moon just means I just fucking graft and graft and graft. And my my parents are the exact same, so when I was a teenager, dad was really unwell to the point where we were told if this bone marrow transplant didn't work, we were basically gonna lose in six months' time. He had he had a really rare form of blood cancer. But the whole time my mum worked through it, she worked through it. She had a teenage daughter that she was trying to say knuckle down a study, and I kind of rebelled a little not terrible rebellion, but I was a bit like I don't want to do my A levels. Um and she worked through the whole thing. So, like my parents have always and my dad's still with us now, he's had the bone marrow, he's he's fantastic. If anything, he's driving my mother's mad. But um, they've always been crafters, so I've seen that through my parents, just like craft, graft, graft, craft. And I think if it wasn't for going through all that, I literally wouldn't be where I am because the way I was just processing things was working through it, it gave me time to think as I was doing it. Like literally, I'd finish my job um that day. Either my my daughter then was with her dad, and I'd literally go down to the gym and I'd be painting there until about like nine o'clock at night, ten o'clock at night, and then starting the whole thing again, like the day after, and then going back into parent mode. Wow. So yeah. I don't know if that answers the question. I feel like I went up for a temperature.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

I'm not gonna lie, I don't have a clue about like moons and stuff. Stars and stuff like that. Alright, I'm sorry. This is why I'm reading in that. I do find it interesting. You will inform me. But like I know what you mean in terms of that, like working through that and nobody sees it. No. But then also you kind of don't want anyone to see it. No. Do you know what I mean? Like you don't want to be like people. I don't need support for this. I'm gonna do this. Yeah, I'm I am doing this, it's cool, I'm I'm calm, I'm collected. Again, this isn't one of these, but like, did you ever get to a point where you were like, oh my god, I'm so close to the edge? Like burnout, you kind of like yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

And the thing is, like, I'd from like a mental health perspective, um, I had postnatal depression after my daughter. Yeah, and I think it's one of the quick reasons that I tried to get back into work because I was worried from a financial perspective, that was the biggest thing, and it was it was pressure basically to make sure that I was actually providing um because I didn't have that maternity pay, so I only had maternity allowance, which was just bog standard, that just about covered the mortgage and the bills, let alone anything else outside of it, like phone and stuff like that. Um but for me it was just actually getting into it nitty-gritty, just to keep going. Because if I stopped, I I would have stopped, I would have literally stopped. So having been through that darkest point, for me, my way of getting out of that darkness was just listening, first of all, to what my body actually wanted. Because I was living in survival mode constantly, but just listening to like what my gut was saying in the sense of like, go with this, work at this, work at this, and that's what I did basically. Yeah, body keeps the score, the does a hundred percent, it does.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

I'm take I'm taking so much away from this. You are quite quiet, right? You are no yeah in the in the points that I'm at at the minute. Um yeah, excited with this project, I want to keep going. I haven't been ill for about three years, like not even cold or a sniffle or anything. And I am very in tune with my body, but I did find myself the other day, like you know, when we just feel like we're not actually doing enough, like I feel like I do have a lot of free time that I'm like I need to fill this with something. Yeah, and then a friend of mine spieled off everything that I'm actually doing right now, and I was like, fuck, and I think I'm not doing enough.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

Yeah, I literally had this. So, like Friday when I was at my dad's I said I was meant to go and meet a friend in the afternoon at about half past eleven. I'm getting into bed, yeah, yeah. I was like, I mask on hour, and then I helped my dad in the evening and that, but I was like, I need to listen to my body right now because I know if I push through this, yeah, me next week is not gonna be that perfect. And then you can't be there for that. But my coach called me out and was like, You're your email marketing, you are your social media kind of manager, you're your online coach for all of these clients, and you're this and you're that. And I was like, I know, you can hear it.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

But like, no, it's true, because like as women in business, you just keep spinning those plates, isn't it? And it's like, because if you don't keep an eye on that plate, it will fall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've got to keep spinning this, and then it's a strange one because I think being productive in your work life, then when it comes to personal life, for me, I'm kind of like, Oh, I feel like I've got to be productive, I feel like I've got to do something and make something. I'm like, I I can't sit still with it. Like, I've got to put myself into something to see that it's a bit addictive. Seeing something grow, you're like, right, I'm gonna try and get this because I'm I'm doing a lot of like community projects now, and I'm like, oh yeah, oh, I can't say no.

unknown 25:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

And I get to a point where you've got to learn how to say no, really, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

So enjoy it as well that's it. It's um I mean it is difficult, it is good to be like that, and that's I guess how you get shit done. Yeah. But it's being comfortable and okay with knowing that rest is okay, which is what I do a lot with the breath, because again, I think us as women, not saying there's not men that are like that, but we just feel like it's our role, especially if we're by ourselves, yeah. We're playing all roles, so it's like who else is gonna spin the fucking plates if I don't?

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Like, no, I'll say 100%, like literally from a physio perspective, if you don't schedule rest, like you can do like active recovery and things like that, but if you don't allow yourself that time just to slow back down, that's when you're gonna get injured. And it's happened to me, and it's like I'm such a hypocrite for like literally preaching, like do as I say and not as a do. But I'm I'm starting to actually get to grips with it now. I think because I was on automatic pilot for such a long time. Now I'm starting to like well, it's been fast, in it.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Like, give yourself that kind of credit. Like I say, I learned the hard way from my ACL. Like my ACL injury was like just through stress, yeah, drinking too much, not sleeping enough, travelling too much, all that kind of stuff. Huge thing, yeah. And then I was like, okay, why did my ACL go picking up a football? Well, look at all the external factors, and I've just tiled it back from there, but I feel like you've got to learn the hard way, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, you don't believe it. Like I am fucking invincible until it happens to you, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Yeah, until it happens. What's the thought that creeps in? The one that tells you that you're not enough or that is going to fail. So, like, we all have intrusive thoughts, but we've spoken about this, haven't we? As we wanted, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I was like, I've been there, yeah, so many times.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Yeah, but like what happens if I just yeah, but apart from doing that off the bridge, like as a business owner, what would you say that comes up the most in your thoughts that is intrusive and not truth?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

For me, I am delivering care, and it's like especially with being a business owner and then being a physiotherapist, I've got a duty of care to my clients, and the the biggest, and I literally do know sometimes I'll be like laying up at night and like, oh shit, did I miss that? But like we do red flag screening to make sure that we're not missing out on like serious pathologies, so you know I've got it embedded in my clinical portfolio. So when I'm asking, you know, assessments, right, making sure that it's you know not this, not that, for example, right? Onward referral if I've got any concerns, and then you just like literally there'll be a case from like two years ago pop in my head, and like shit, did I miss it? And that's the interest of thought because sometimes, and though, especially being in the private sector, within the health board, generally you've got a point in reference where you can refer to, so you've always got someone to kind of lean on. For myself, I am my little entity, and then I gotta refer out, so I haven't really got other clinical shoulders to lean on.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

So the one that tends to pop into my head tonight is like, oh my god, what if you've missed this serious pathology and I'm gonna come after you?

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Like, but like I'm guessing it's like self-trust, self-trust, 100%. And I think me in a personal perspective, I didn't trust myself for a long time. Oh no, it's coming out now. I am volunteer caught. Yeah, I'm now starting to get better at that, and you have to, like when you're in a business, isn't it? But yeah, it's that self-trust of right, I've covered that basis. Am I sure I've covered that?

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Yeah, yeah. And even if you do make mistakes like we all do, that self-trust is only just built more because you know that I'll never fucking do that again.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

Yeah, yeah. Um in in life, really. Strip all your titles and metrics away. Who are you trying to become through your business?

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Oh, interesting. I suppose a mother? That's like the first does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Yeah, because you said, you know, you're a mother first.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Yeah, because my b my and like how I worked on set up my business, it's in my hometown where my daughter goes to school. So that like if she needs me, I'm there basically. Because I you know, obviously co-parenting, but I I look I have her the majority.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

So if she needs me to have a drop of a hat, I'm there basically. So yeah, I suppose it's having tried to create the business to be focused on her, so that if she needs me, she need me, call me that's so nice. Yeah, I think community perspective too. I think just trying to be like a little bit of a community champion.

SPEAKER_04 30:51

Trying, be it.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Oh yeah, thank you. Literally, yeah, give back to the community, I suppose, and just create yeah, a bit more availability for you know, care basically on the doorstep. Yeah, of course. I love that. Yeah, for everyone.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Yeah, I think community is such a underrated thing. Who would you like and not even for a money perspective, like we always say, it it's that like I'm I'm doing something good today. That feeling at the end of the day to go, do you know what? I'm I had an impact on somebody that was like positive. I was in the community, people are benefiting from it. Because that's the community my daughter's gonna grow up into. And that's the thing about being again now. I'll go back to it, a good person.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Yeah, like just being a good person to you always, and just like you said, like you feel like it was given to you, but it was you earned that, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Yeah, without trying to earn anything. I think just like you say, just like energy flow is where energy goes, isn't it? Put out, and it will come back, which has been really positive, thankfully, after everything we've gone through, me and the little one. Yeah, it's been a bit of a journey, but it's good.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

The harder the journey, the more it feels so good, like when you're exactly where you want it to get, like, good things happening, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

And you're like, oh, oh god god, yeah, we worked for this, or we're getting this. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what you said about food and rolls and cut? Oh, you would have absolutely adored Luke's food roll. He had um ACDC Highway to Hell playing. Oh no way! It was a sea of rainbow, like glitter, um, all the colours of the rainbow. It was incredible, absolutely incredible.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

But uh again, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Luke was, and that that that Luke at his like core was someone who just poured into the community. Um, and you've seen it like on his funeral, like it was just huge. The the cues outside the creme were just mental. But like not everybody could make it, so like there was like an after the party in Kidwell, and it was huge, absolutely huge. But yeah, classic example of someone putting out and just wow, yeah, yeah. And everybody rallying round him when he was going for the treatment. Like they not far off raised oh god, what was it? Like, I think in the end it was like 78 he needed, yeah, 80, and they went up to 78, and they were still raising, but he'd unfortunately deteriorated, so we then couldn't go for the treatment. But it all went to melanoma, yeah, and he'd like literally oh god, he'd well he'd renovated his house in Kidwelly, uh little castle cottage, which won Wales home of the UN 22. In the meantime, whilst going through stage four treatment for his immunos, you know, cancer with immunotherapy, he walked the Welsh coastal path and raised I think that was like 70 odd, if not more. He's raised something like nearly £150,000 melanoma focus.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Crazy.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Uh so Luke I I gotta giggle. We say he was 40, but he actually passed just before his birthday. So I think he'd died on the 10th of June, and his birthday was the 23rd. But in classic Luke fashion, every year after his diagnosis, he had what we call Luke Fest. So there was literally 2021, we were he was renovating the house, we all turned up in High Fiz because the house was a building site, so we would all literally just have an array outside the house in High Viz. But he had his funeral on his 40th birthday. Wow, unreal. It was absolutely unreal. Yeah, it was it was it was weird because it was just like the the timing of it. Like we obviously asked, like, is there any way you could do it on his birthday after he'd passed? It was quite a quick turnaround because normally like three to four weeks, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, and they did it and he came up, I think they pulled it off.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

Oh wow, what a celebration!

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Yeah, it was and that's just him because he wouldn't have wanted any black, he wouldn't have wanted to sign a black or mourning. It literally was a celebration of his life.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

Yeah, I I want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

Yeah, I want people to celebrate my birthday and my death on the same day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you just let you know? That is oh that sounds incredible. I didn't meet him, and that's oh, he's a speech.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

What a bloke, honestly, incredible person. Honestly, if it wasn't for him, Kid Wesler would not have existed. Oh, that's mental. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

So if anybody wants to find you, where are you? Social media, like what's the best way to contact physically?

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Yeah, I yeah, where can we find you? But where do you live? Um, yeah, either way. So either like on the Instagram platform or on the website. Um, if there's any questions or queries, email or phone. Um what's your Instagram handle? I think key I think it is kidwetla, actually. Yes. Can you spell that for the English? I know. So it's um C Y D W E L L A. So Kidwell, basically it's a play on the words of Kidwell in Welsh, but it actually means improving together. Hey, I didn't know that. Yeah, so keyed basically being together, and then wetlers get better. So that's why I say improving together, because it is literally the Welsh translation of Kidwetla is improving together.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

Oh wow, I love that. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

And it just kidded, honestly, I was just driving down the road, um, working in my other job, and it just as if someone just went bush.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Just let's fill them out.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Just bush. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

No, thank you for having me. It's good to be here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

I'm gonna come and speak to you about my ankle, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Oh no, or my knock dance.