Our mom, Jannie Cotton, shares what it’s really like parenting twins

In this special Mother’s Day edition of Twinversations A Conversation with Twins by Twins, our mom, Jannie Cotton, opens up about raising twins, navigating the world of twin parenting, feeling left behind, and offering advice to other twin parents.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hey, it's your girl Adria and April, and you're listening to our podcast. Conversation. Conversation with twins and like twins. Our podcast is a curated space that delves into twins' fascinating vibes and experiences between conversations, storytelling, and community. Welcome to Twin Versations, a conversation with the twins, my twins. I am your co-host, April Brody, and today I am your other co-host, Adrian Brody. And today we have such a special episode. It is our Twin Versations Mother Edition. And we are lucky to have our mom on this show. Mom, go ahead and introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Good afternoon, everybody. I am Janie, the proud mother of three daughters. My oldest daughter is Lakeisha at home. Hi Keish and the twins, Adria and April. I said Adria first because everybody always says April and Adria. So I thought I'd switch it up today.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

I'm very glad you did that. Thanks for taking me into account as you do your introduction. Absolutely, because that's actually been one of Adria's talking points in some of our uh podcast episodes about her not being remembered or her not being first. So just like a mother, the greatest mother you are, you considered her first. So we thank you. Yeah. So April and I thought it would be fitting for you to be on the show because you are obviously a parent of identical twins, and it's Mother's Day weekend. And constantly over the last couple of months, April and I have been approached and asked, you know, what tips do you have for parents? Or when will parents be on the show? Or actually when will siblings be on the show? Absolutely. So April and I were like, you know what? This will be a great opportunity for you to talk and tell us your story and your journey as being the parent of twins and just tips and advice and that whole thing. Absolutely. Mom, this is gonna be so laid back. Yes, I'm laid back. Okay, okay, good. Be laid back. Stretch your legs. And I think this is gonna be so I forgot to say this at the beginning, but this is season uh one, episode three, mother's edition. Um and what's super what I think is gonna be really cool is just actually how to to hear you and your story of being a parent of twins. What does it mean to do life as a parent of twins? Um and you know, we'll get to part of the episode towards the end where what advice do you have and just some fun stories in between. Don't don't be afraid to spell the beans, Mom. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. You can spell the beans about us. Our listeners know that we are very transparent. So you can bring up old bones, old conversations on this podcast. It's totally up to you. But I'm gonna go ahead and give you the opportunity. So typically, Mom, what happens is you've heard our episodes. Yes. When we have twin guests on here, we asked them to open up the episode by telling their twin story. So we would prefer if you tell us like your double take moment. Like, take us back to the journey of when you were giving birth or found out that you were having twins. Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

And thank you all for having me here about time. I've been asking when I was gonna be on here. So I'm up here visiting them in California, so I'm able to do that. But my story was a journey uh of the unknown. Um, we lived in Atlanta, and all I knew is I was pregnant with my second pregnancy. And so wanted a boy because I already had the oldest girl. So um just knew it was a boy, and I gained so much weight, like wow, I gained about 70 some pounds. And my doctors were like, you're eating too much, you need to go on a diet. And I was like, I'm not eating too much, I'm just eating regular for this one child inside of me. And um, and lo and behold, we're in Atlanta where you all were born, and uh, their father, my ex-husband, hey Foster, he was just proud of uh the expectancy of a child, and uh lo and behold, I'll never forget that day. I went into labor, and my two brothers were there and went to the hospital, and I was in labor forever. I think it was like 14 hours. And I thought, oh my god, this is gonna be a big boy. It's what I thought it was gonna be a big boy. Oh my gosh. And so finally went in, and uh Foster was so excited, and um we got there, they gave me an epidural. The epidural uh didn't work readily. Oh, and so this one baby I thought I was having decided that they wanted to come on. So the epidural didn't completely that will be me, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

That will be me.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

That's April that we now know as April. Yes, exactly. Uh had her um considered it a great success. And as the doctor was there and pulling this vibrant baby out, and he was like, You have another daughter, and I was like, Another daughter, I wanted a son. That would be me, Adria. And so then he gets through pulling her out and says, Oh my gosh, you have another one. I said, Another what?

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Oh, I was yeah, me first, and now Adria's coming out.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

Yes, I was like, another what? I mean, I couldn't even think another who. I just said another what because I just couldn't imagine it. Uh she was breached and she was hidden behind April. So in the 70s, uh the technology and the things that they did to detect babies was not available. Yeah. Okay. And so I just looked in shock. I mean, like I was literally in shock. And uh the second baby came and they brought to me before they were cleaning them off, and I looked at her and I counted her fingers and her toes, and the next thing I know, I had passed out. I'm still in disbelief, although over 40-some years now they're real. Yes, exactly. But at that time, and uh my husband at that time was like, oh, he was so proud. He made two babies, and he couldn't wait to get the cigars. He called everybody in the world. I made twins, and meanwhile, you're just passed out. I'm just all I know is I woke up and they said, Here's your two babies.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

And so I like to take a moment to say, um, if it wasn't for me, April, you wouldn't be a twin. Okay. And so that magical moment could have been played down a little bit, but I like to add a lot of spice when I come into the world. So And you did add spice. So did you have even more shock that it was two girls? Not even just twins, but that it was two girls because you wanted a boy.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Two girls, and I was like, that's okay, because this is it. At the two time? Uh not at that moment, but when I did. Well, let me go back to the part. So we got the two babies. Well, I only had one outfit. Oh my gosh. And oh my gosh. One pair of socks and shoes to come home with. So we had to figure out, okay, this other baby got to have some clothes. And so we had to get uh a different outfit, but I wanted y'all to look alike. So I didn't want to keep that one outfit, so I had to have them go get twin outfits for y'all to go home in.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Ladies and gentlemen, that is gonna be a start of a journey, that desire of having us to be dressed alike. Go ahead, Mom.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Uh that that is. And then they asked you, are you gonna breastfeed? And I was like, yes, that was my desire to always breastfeed my babies. I breastfeed the first baby. I breastfed these twins one time and said, Oh no, I'm not doing this. Y'all need to go get a formula. This ain't gonna work. Uh, it was disastrous. It hurt. I'm just telling y'all. And I was like, find whatever formula meets the guidelines of their bodies because they are not going to be breastfed.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

I would like to just put an asterisk there because I really feel like had we got that breast milk, we might be a little thicker. I'm just putting it out there. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Oh, okay. Well, you wouldn't be thicker because your genes from your dad were thin. And I was thin at the moment before pregnancy.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

So we we gave you a couple of curves and things like that nature.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Curves, all kinds of body parts. And the worst, I think, was the stretch marks. Sorry, Mom. I could tell that I have really gained all that weight afterwards. Yeah. But I lost weight in six weeks, so I was back fine again.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

So, mom, in today's 2026 terms, they call that you were snatched.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Oh. That's what they call it.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

So you got snatched.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Oh, okay, I got snatched. But in good territory, you guys have been the most amazing uh daughters and twins, and I've always been very protective of your space. Uh so joy, joy from day one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

And I'm glad you're speaking of that because you know, there's a lot of obviously there's new parents coming every day who are having twins. I just saw someone online uh the other day, and I have not had the joy of having twins yet, which I wish I would have. But so I want to talk a little bit about that because becoming a new parent of twins, when we'll get to what it means to parent twins plus another child. Uh, but what was your mind frame? Like, what was your mindset like in terms of what support did you have starting off? This is again back in the 70s, and you know, it's maybe a little different now for 2026 parents, but just curious on like that's a big change in your life.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

It was a big change, and I was scared. Yeah, that's honest. Uh, because I was from Arkansas, and my biggest support was my mom. And so my mom worked at a uh factory and she could only get two weeks off. Oh my gosh. Uh, with pay. So I was like, two weeks? I'm gonna need help for more than two weeks. But that's all she could get off. And the unfortunate piece, um, you all had to stay in the hospital because of Jundas. So you had to go under this light. And they told me to for Foster to take me home. I was like, oh by no means, I'm not leaving my babies. So they was like, Yeah, you gotta go home. And I was like, No, I'm not. So I think it was a God thing because I got high blood pressure and they couldn't send me home.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

So the only time is really good for you.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

The only time you would want an ailment, but it kept me in the hospital with you all, and that was my greatest joy. There was no way I didn't care if I had to sleep on the floor. You don't blame me, or whatever. They were not going to keep you all without me.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Oh, I love it. And so you and sorry, go ahead. Well, you know I interrupt April all the time. Yes. So you're we're we're in the hospital for the extra month, and then now you're home. So what was that like? I mean, during this month, are you going to buy like double diapers and and beds? And did we even have two beds and all those kinds of things?

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Girl, you couldn't afford no two beds back then. And so and I love the drawer of cloth diapers. Oh my god, I can't even believe that. It was just like the the thing to do. You got your new babies, and I always kept y'all dressed. I was poor, but decided you all would be rich in that element. And so I dressed you up all the time. And we had one bed. I mean, beds cost a lot back then. It was a baby bed. And then I think the funniest part was no matter when we um put you down to bed to go to sleep, I would put, oh, I named them A Baby and B baby because they were so alike. I was like, I don't want to get my own children confused.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

We could be confused. I could be April. April and I tossed that around every now and then.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

That's true. No, I knew. Okay. And your dad knew. Okay. And so we hurried up and labeled you in the moment that we knew. And they labeled you in the hospital. I just wanted a fancier band on you when you got home.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

So I appreciate that. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

You've always went fashion for it. Fashion. And so we put you on one end and the other, oh no, I guess y'all had to do like you were in the womb because every evening or night we came back, y'all had pushed your way back to each other and close to each other.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

It was so touchy.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

And this was a good one. This was every day. You would never want to be apart. And so you would just scoot. And that's where we found you, uh, lying next to each other in the bed.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

And it was just, that's just amazing, that bond. Even coming out the wound and knowing that somebody's not next to me that's been next to me. Or for me, me and April, we were upside. I mean, I was behind her and upside down. These days I'm doing this. Yes. Arms length, arms length. But mom, to bring back to what we were saying about support, and you were you mentioned, you know, you your mom could only come for two weeks, but once she left, what did support look like? Like, what was your like how did you figure? Did you just figure it out? Did you read a book? I mean, I don't know what they had back then. I was just born.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

So books were not a part of my journey. Okay. Um, I think it was wisdom from my mom. My mom, I have seven siblings. Yeah. And so I was the oldest daughter. So the oldest daughter is like the second mom in the families. Yeah. And so I had an opportunity. My mom needed me to help her. So I got a lot of wisdom in raising young people. Okay. And from baby. Like with my mom, I was like, girl, please don't have another baby. Please, this is just too many because everybody, the six were under me. And I was just like, um no. So I think that I think that was the first piece of wisdom. Although it was scary, uh, my mom taught me how to pray. She always said that I may not always be with you. So she would teach me how to pray and how to lean on uh on God. That's what that's how we were raised. And so I prayed every day. I was like, Lord, please don't let me mess this up. Yes. Uh, because I don't want them to um have an issue because of my lack of knowledge, and there was no book. So you just felt your way through. But I think God gave mom's intuition, and so I knew what to do. Plus, my firstborn baby girl uh was a character. She was smart and she was uh ambitious, and so I learned a lot. Um got you almost four years apart. So I had your PhD already. I already had my PhD.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

I want to say shout out to our older sister Lakeisha. Yes. Um she'll be on an episode in season two, Mother, because I don't know if you know, but there could be some sibling gripe. Yes. About, you know, her being raised with twins. And we laugh about it too. So it's nothing new, people. It's something that's beef with our sisters. We don't have beef, but it's a this is a good segue into the question of how do you parent twins to new babies? So not even just a baby, but to new babies when your attention has already been given to that first child. Like, how did you integrate her into your process? Did you integrate Keisha into your process? What's that balance look like?

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Yeah, so you have to do that balance because you don't want to neglect your other child, whether it's an older child or a younger child, you have to find uh a balance. And so I always like to tell people you have to balance it. And so with Keisha, um, she was, my mom always say, old for her age. And so she um really was helpful. And so what I did so she wouldn't hit you guys and push you.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

It kept going.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Yes, I um made sure she knew that she was the big sister. So I let her help me change the diapers. I let her help feed you all, uh the bottle, everything that I could think of that let her know how important she was in this process. And I think that really helped. There were a few times she was jealous because she was the light in our family. She was this baby girl, bouncing baby girl. She was like, Blonde hair. Yeah, she was smart. She was like reading at three. She went to college with me my last year.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

So she was the apple of everybody's eye, especially my mom and stepfather.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

So boom, here you guys come and take her little light and smash it a little. And so that didn't go too well many times, but I can say the majority of the time, she enjoyed being a big sister because she could tell y'all what to do in Tobashi or she did. And she did. And she did. And that's still prevalent to this day. Yes, it is. She did. Absolutely. One of the things I always say, even now, you're my firstborn baby girl, and so you have your place in my heart that has nothing to do with the place that April and Aydra have in my heart. Uh, it's a separate spot just for you, you, and you.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

I actually think that's super important. I can only imagine other parents out there of twins who are going through that right now, might have, you know, it's always usually with twins. You have the older sibling or the younger sibling. And either way, you have to figure out how to make those distinct um well, what are gonna say, divide your time available. Yeah, make yourself available and divide your time. Um, and so one of the questions we were actually talking to someone earlier that we ran into about that situation. Like, what do you do? Um, and so I think it's interesting to hear, like, I think a lot of the answers that age and I hear now from people are like, oh, I want to listen to this person. I listened to this podcast, read their book. But what I'm hearing from you is like that natural ability of motherhood. And so I think for mothers and parents, fathers, not just mothers out there now, even watching this podcast, hopefully they can say, like, get your nuggets of wisdom to say, like, that's what I want to be able to provide, you know, for the other child.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

Yes. And then don't forget, they had a daddy. Yes. So you should include the daddy, whether you're married or a partner or whatever, uh, they should have the opportunity to help out so that you don't carry that load because it's a big load to carry. When you have a child, you're trying to be a wife. Yes. I had to work, it wasn't like a stay-at-home mom. That wasn't in my journey.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

I had the six weeks off, and then I taught school.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

And so I was at a daycare center. So that was real hard for me uh to leave you guys. Yeah. That's one of the hardest parts uh is leaving your babies. And so we then moved to California, and I was able to get a Nana. Um, I was in school and teaching uh at a girl's home, and uh Foster was working at a car dealership, doing really well, and so we were able to offer more than we originally had when we were first born. Yeah, well, I appreciate that. But daddies are important. I just want to really reiterate that. That's important. Sometimes people always say, Oh, I'm so proud of the daddy did this. I said, Proud, he's supposed to do this. That's right, exactly. So people tend to lean that the mother is supposed to do it, but it took two to make children, and both parents should be involved if at all possible. If not, find a good girlfriend, yeah, or just someone you trust and love to leave your children because they can't be with you 24-7. True.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

So, mom, I know your background. So you've been in um a licensed professional counselor for over 40 years, uh retired CEO of mental health facilities. And when you first started out having us, and you were child development?

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Yes, so my bachelor's degree, child development in psychology. And so I love studying people. So I did also have that advantage. I was gonna say, how did that play into it? Yeah, I was an ACE student in college. Shout out to HBCU, UAP D in Arkansas. And so I had already been trained and learned uh the development of children because that was what I wanted to. After coming from a big family and saw different things that went on in my life and in families and their church, because our church was like family too. So we had all of these personalities. That's a good support system as well. Yes, the church was a good support system. Um, and so having all of that, but doing that, I even went into counseling psychology and my master's degree to make sure I just love studying people, and so having these unbelievable two people that look just alike, act just alike, cried all the time, just alike, wanted to be fed all the time, the same time. So one of the things I learned to do, I had uh, and so some people may say gross, but I didn't have two spoons. I had one bowl with food in it and one spoon. Mama! Because you guys always was hungry at the same time. So I didn't have time to switch spoons. So you got a bite and you got a bite, and you got a bite, and you got a bite. Uh it just was the way it was. So it worked out because you guys have been really healthy. So shout out to that.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Actually, I'm so happy ate. You brought up your background because you know how you said you like to study people. I actually took a lot of that from you, which we'll talk about later. Um but um and speaking of your studying and our identity is starting to blossom as we start to get older. Um, you know, one of our feedbacks that we have for you is your ambition to make us dress alike. I mean, it's not a new thing for parents of twins, it's just how long you went. And so I bet you didn't know we had feedback for you today. Yes. Oh, I'm not surprised. So it's not an ambush, but you know, we've had some observations that we would like to just kind of bring to your attention. One because just give me grace. I'll give you grace, but you know, in your ability and desire to study people, you might have been studying us a little bit. And so just a little bit too much. I just want to kind of touch on um, yeah, the whole need to be in alike, need to dress alike, because it plays out in our adult lives. And so I just want to know a little bit about why.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

So, first of all, it was probably selfish, but y'all was so cute. And I wanted the world to see y'all as identical twins. Because everybody's a lot of times people have fraternal twins, or one is short, one is tall. You guys were the same size, the same height. Yeah. Um, hair growth the same. I put y'all in the same ponytails. I mean, I know I went overboard y'all, but it was so wonderful. And I think it was joy for me. Yeah, I think it was my bragging rights. Okay. Okay. You know, I had been so much. I needed some bragging rights.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

We call that you profited off of twin paparazzi. Oh, yeah. That's what we call it on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

And I call y'all twin zyidas. Yes, you do. Uh, on a regular basis, and that's another conversation of your conversations. Um, but it was so wonderful, and then you could find two of everything. And then every time I went out, everybody was, ooh, uh, are those twins? That was always funny because you could tell you guys were twins, but that was always what everybody was saying. Yes, yeah. Are they oh, they're identical twins. Yeah. And it was kind of like a hype. You know, interesting. Go ahead. Well, it was just a satisfaction that I had birth. Twins. Twins. And it's especially when you didn't expect it, and you're like, oh my God. So that's when I was like, okay, God, what's the plan here?

SPEAKER_01 24:22

And I like to interject because this was every day, 365 days, yes. Of dressing alike. And I mean, down from to the ruffle socks on Easter. To the barrettes. To the barrettes. I'm sure our underwear matched too.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Oh, yeah, yeah. Always my mom still does that. Oh, your underwear still had to match. I mean, like everything, because I didn't know if he was gonna fall, get sick, or just whatever. And I just wanted it to be no identity crisis. Oh, this is hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Actually, people, this is the first time we're really actually talking about this because mom just heard us whine and complain, like, no, I don't want to wear the same thing Adrian's wearing. And it's sixth grade, like we told you before, it had to stop. But we really wanted to dive deeper into like, what was that about? And you know, we have other twins who talk about that, about their moms are like, no, they want to look that way, and maybe to your point, it is that a little bit of bragging, but a little bit of like, like, is it parent, is it twin parent pressure that you feel like you have to feel to uphold the standard of a twin?

SPEAKER_02 25:20

I never thought of that as a standard because I've always been my own person. Okay, okay. It was felt good to me. And so when you go through so much in life, um you need that one something for yourself. Yeah. So when you're giving to your children, where's the joy for you? Because you're worn out. Like I was tired. Yeah. We'll talk about that too. I had to be a wife, I had three children, and it's no different than I never have imagined how my mama had eight children. Except she almost like kidnapped me as the second mother. So now I see why she did. Yes. But it was painful. Yeah. It was a lot of work.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Yeah. Did you ever feel like you lost yourself on that journey? I would say for like did we become your identity. As much as you'd like to be part of the fanfare, but did you ever feel like you your identity became?

SPEAKER_02 26:12

I never lost my identity. Um, one of the things because I loved myself. Yeah. I really loved me. Yeah. And I was able to nurture you all because I love me. And I believe if you love yourself, there's no competition with your children. Yes. That's right. You're just able to give love freely, and it was fun loving y'all. I mean, y'all were just the best. The only time it wasn't is when y'all were mischievous and would hide from me. April. And April was the most mischievous. This one here. Yes, it was me. And Adrian was more malmannered. And they kind of switched roles. They did a lot of things. We did. We did a lot of switching classes. They switched classes, and then their teacher, who was one, was my best friend, uh, was gonna tell me which baby. No, this is April, or no, this is Adrian. I was like, I know my children, and they have they have skipped and gone to the wrong room, and you have the wrong twin in your room. And they argued me down, and then they found out I was correct as always. We got a trouble. Yeah, with the trouble. So it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Mom, speaking back to when you were saying we were kind of talking about how we started to grow up, the dressing like the identity. And identity, as you know, is so important when it comes to twins and parenting twins, you know, being a parent of twins. How do you nurture? Well, you definitely got it right with nurturing the need to be looking at the twinship. But how do you nurture and support and advocate for the individualism?

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Well, it was important to me for you all to have your own identity, even though the only part that was the twin zitest part was the dress and a lack. Yeah. But y'all personalities were different.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

And I like I say, I was fortunate. I had studied child development, I had studied those kinds of things. But it was important to me that you could be you and develop yourself to what's good. And so, like April always wanted to dress, and um it was real funny because they've kind of switched that. Yes. But April loved the little ruffle socks and you know, all of that. Adria was more malmannered and a mama's girl.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Like Aria's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

I still am Mama's girl.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

Yes, she is. She's the baby, and she lets everybody know that. Five minutes makes a difference. Five minutes makes a difference. But Adria needed more nurturing in the fact that she wanted to always be up under me.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

You were adventurous and would go places with your father. I don't ever remember it switching. I think when y'all went separate, you were with him. I think it's still like that. And it's still, and baby girl, like, no, I'm being under my mother.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Wait a little April. What a write or die.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

I'm a writer die for my mom. Yes, she can.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

She ill, she ill she is.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

And both of you are. Yes. It's just some different personalities. Like now, April is more sensitive.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

And it surprises me because she is super sensitive. She is very super sensitive.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Well, I won't say super. Or just thoughtful.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

It's one super. It may not be two supers. But she's super sensitive. She's super sensitive. Just a little thoughtful of other folks.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

You are very, very thoughtful of others. And you always want to make sure that I'm okay. Absolutely. And I think sometimes too a fault.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Uh, because your nurturing almost becomes like the nurturing that I felt the need to do for you all. Yes. Yeah. Uh, you know, as we went on this journey. But what I love about it is y'all balance each other.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Yeah. And so April is more frugal. Yes. April.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

I actually want to talk about why.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Raise your hand.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

I like to say cheap people for some things, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Frugal. And so I thought I'd use the good word frugal instead of cheap. And Adria, as I grew up and could afford it, love really nice things. Adria wants the best of the best. Yeah, and until, you know, I got my jewelry, my bracelets, my yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

I want the best of the best. It just might come at a different price.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

Well, that's true. That's true. You, yeah. You do still want the best of the best, but a lot of times, like now, Adria will, oh y'all, and I'm pronouncing her name on purpose because a lot of people don't pronounce her name correctly, and that offended her most of her life. They say Age or Adra or Andrea. Andrea, Adriana. Adriana, and everybody could say April. So my grandmother and mother couldn't tell them apart. And so my grandmother had to keep them one time, and she couldn't tell them apart. And she couldn't remember Adria's name. So she named them April and May, like the month. And so when they wouldn't come, she would just say, Well, you know who you are. So whoever you are, come here. Come here. And so that was kind of things. And I think one of the things that you guys are, our family, oh, everything still today is the twins.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Everything is the twins, the twins, the twins. I was like, they do have a name. Yes. And they still to this day say the twins, which I think.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Because that doesn't necessarily offend me so much. Because I understand, you know, folks don't know my name or whatever. But it's like the people who know my face. Yes. You know my face. Yes. So that part did cut in a lot to my individuality. I do appreciate you acknowledging that because as a mother would. Yes. You do. You do do that. And even when you remember when we were in college and you were writing us letters, you would address the envelope, Adria and April. So it's those little small things, Mom. That really counts, Mom. That really counts. I don't like to actually circle back as I am, because I'm April. As we were talking about me being frugal, and we were mentioning this a little bit yesterday. I think you're aware of it. I'm not quite sure if others are aware or if this happens with other twins. But I carried the burden growing up very at a young age of being a twin because I felt like we were a financial burden to you. She did. She still does. And to a point, I still do. Don't even know where that came from, but must be somehow how God wired me. And we were talking about it. And I know you noticed it. But for folks who might not understand what I'm saying, when my mom says the frugal part, I used to hold back a lot from my mom when my because what eventually my mom became a single parent. And so now she has three children. She's taking care of working, I mean, doing everything great and doing everything right. And so when it came to buy something, I chose to be the one to sacrifice and say, oh, I don't want it. Not from Adria. Adria was gonna get it anyway, but I totally was gonna be the twin to say, no, I don't want anything, or no, I'm good. Now I do that now, and it comes out differently for different reasons, but that was a part, I don't know why. Mama, why do you think I carried it? I don't know why I carried this four model answers that you did that even when we went to college. Because Zebra would come tell me, like, gosh, mom's gonna have to pay double tuition. This lady knew she had twins when she had twins. No, she didn't know. Well, you didn't know she didn't know. But I'm saying at the point of when we were going to college at 17, you knew that it's actually one of the reasons why we moved back to California. We got in state. It was cheaper, it was better, it was cheaper to move back to college. But I was just thinking of what does that sound like to you? Like, did you even recognize that that was what I was doing? I didn't know what to name it at the time, but as over the years, even as Adrian and I still think about like this twin journey, and I'm like, yep, I absolutely held back because I felt so guilty that you had to pay double.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Yeah. And I want to say, I'm so sorry you felt that way. Yeah. And I'm glad you've made up for it. Make it up for folks. Yes, but I think a part of it, um, it was in our family too. And so I think it's our nature, just the way we're, just the way who we are and considerate and take care of others, because my sister Sheila uh was the same one, and you guys were very close to Sheila. She was the same way with mom. She, when we would run out of food, or she felt like my mom was being neglected for the children, uh, she wouldn't eat, or she would say she didn't want anything. So I think it became more of a natural process uh just because of the caring nature. Yes. And there were other siblings that didn't. They was like, Should give me the food then if you're not gonna eat it. And I think you became similar to that with your characteristics, but I really hate that because I did work several jobs. And so I could I could see how you could feel that way. Yes. But we still made it work. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

You know, as kids, you don't know bills. Yeah, so you just you just know there's food on the table. If you see, like, hey, mom can't be can't pick you up from junior high school because she has to be at work. So you're like, dang, I hate the fact that she has to. I mean, I think we put two and two together that when you're a single parent, there you have to pick up the slack. Clearly, we know they weren't picking up the slack. So um so no. No, okay, but I'll make it up for it. So I I make it up for it. But I brought that up because, you know, as Adrian and I continued this journey and learned from multiple twins, which I can't wait. I'm so excited. I want to know, has that ever come up with someone else? Because so far I'm the only one that I've heard. But it was something that I recognized, so I wanted to name it. Good for you. Thank you, Mom. Good for you. I wanted to name, that's what it was. But actually pigging off of that again, um, forget my apples. I'm talking a lot. I'm sorry, mom, but forget my notes. I can't even interrupt like I normally do because she keeps talking, you know, sorry. But thinking about, because I'm all about needing them, needling the thread. So I go through this phase where, you know, obviously I'm feeling guilty about being a twin. And then, but there's a phase that you are in that I want to bring up that we hope breaks away. That's observation number two. That's observation number two. And it kind of ties a little bit to what you had just said when you said April wants something, she's frugal, or Adria's gonna go for it. You tend to often think that because Adria does something, I should do it, or how Adria does it, I should do it. So, and speaking of, like if Ada chooses to spend her whole high school tech on a polo shirt, I rather divide mine and get mine on makeup and things. But you will want to make it look the same. It was a very 50-50 equity. I'm assuming that's what you were trying to achieve. Um, but it did hinder.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

And back then we didn't know equity, it was equality. Okay, okay. Well, either B, whatever the E is.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

Whatever the E is. Yes, yes, whatever the E is. It did it put us in situations where someone else external to a twin is telling that you can't have more than this twin, or you gotta have the exact amount as this twin. So Or you gotta buy the same thing that she buys, or spend the same money she buys. Otherwise, my does see and is less value. And it's not seeing it's less value, it's just I didn't choose the option Adria chose. Yeah. It's our choice. And I think our cousin Erica said this on our second episode is it's like people don't know what they say, so or people don't know what they do. So that was just, we don't have many observations, but that was just uh an observation that still played out into our lives. You know, because remember, you would try to make us have the same amount of money. Yes, I did. Up until what, last week?

SPEAKER_02 37:58

I think for me, it was more, I didn't want either of you to feel either left out or that I was giving more to the other, even though I knew I needed to nurture like you wanted to spend a little more or you less. Like when I give gifts, remember, I was like, no, I'm getting the same gift. Yes, the same amount of money. Yeah. Or when I even now, when I come up here and shop with you all and y'all fully grown and make money and I'm retired, I still have the need that if I buy Adria a gift, I gotta buy April a gift. If I buy April a gift, I gotta buy April. What did you say the other day?

SPEAKER_01 38:34

April, why didn't you buy a gift? Yes. I did. Or something.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Yeah, well, it wasn't a gift. It was like, April, don't you want something?

SPEAKER_01 38:42

Yes, it's so annoying.

SPEAKER_02 38:45

Okay, well, I'll stop. I'll try to stop.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Try to stop. Baby steps, baby steps. Okay, baby steps. But it's annoying. It is because I don't have to have what Adria has. And just because I choose different doesn't mean it's less, less value. I understand that.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

It's just that I want to pour in my finances. So we talked about this and I split a little bit, like with my 401k. Uh I divided it up. You know, since it's 100%, Keisha got 33, April 33, and my baby gets 34%. Where's the justice, people? Where's the justice people? And I'm just saying that was a way for me to divide up the difference. And I appreciate it. We got some moments here. We got some moments here. That was the first step. But I want you to hear us.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

You're long baby girls at this age of I'm a beautiful 48, and I'll take it.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

You really are. I know.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Adrian and I, we don't have to be on the same wavelength. We don't have to do things the same way. No. Because I'm gonna tell you what happens. What happens is because April's frugal. So her math equation, because I think that's what you've been doing, a math equation. Her equation is I go buy the expensive things, and then when she needs to go somewhere, she's coming to borrow my own. Yes, yes, she does. And she still does that. She still does that to this day. So that works for her.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

That's true. I'm gonna try much easier. You can learn, you can learn as you get older. You can. Okay. You know, so I'm open to learning. And um, okay. Well, y'all are wardens, so uh, let me tell you about them. So I got really, really sick, fell in my garage, had to be hospitalized. Lord, thank you, they came down. And they were just like little wardens, and I wanted them to know that I was independent, and they were gone, and so I had built my own lifestyle, and they wanted me to have the lifestyle they wanted me to because I was hurting. So she just looked at that. So I mean, I'm gonna flip it because it does make a difference. It does. And so it was hard. So it goes both ways, is my reason for that. So we both have to hear each other. That's true. Because communication is really great. That's true. And like, uh, it's hard to change your lifestyle when you've been by yourself for a long period of time. And so your daughter's coming in not out of anything other than being protective and loving me and wanting everything to be.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

We just mother you're the mother, but we mother you differently. Yes, you're a little bit firmer. April's gonna give you whatever Dr. Pepper you want. Whatever you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

You're warden number one, and she's warden like a half. Yes. I'm just a semi-warden. Like I can get anything from April. Adra is stern. Matter of fact, no, you just had that and you're not getting any more, mother. You don't need that. Mother, no, you're not getting that sugar. No, mother, that's too much salt. And I was like, dog, I feel like I'm in captivity.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

But I bet you're so you're gonna be thanking me.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Yes, I am. You will be thanking me when you're 100 years old. Because I plan to be sent in, your baby girl.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

I have a um, can you talk to us a little bit about a funny story? And I know this story, but it's a funny story. I want you to share it. It's about when April had nasal surgery.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

So can you share that for our listeners? From your perspective. From my perspective. I have my own rebuttal. We've shared it, but from her perspective. Yeah, from your perspective.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Yeah, well, I had to fly here. Um, and April had to have surgery, and Adria didn't. And so, me being the parent knew that I needed to nurture her back to good health. And we at the hospital, she came out of surgery, she was in so much pain, and of course, my heart was aching. And so I was telling the nurses what to do for her. Well, her twin sister, Adria, took over and said, I know my sister, that is not what she would want. She would want this. I said, Ho, sister, I'm the mama. I get the slip of my neck like that, but yeah. Well, yeah, it was close to it. It was almost a pop. Uh, but I thought about she was older and I probably shouldn't hit her. Uh, but she just went into twin zitus, that's what I call twin zitus mode, uh, for the hospital, or they bring me out here to California, which I love, and we go to eat. Oh, I'm sorry, mom. And we're sitting there having a wonderful mother-daughter conversation, and then for about 10 minutes, they engage me in the conversation, and then they forget I'm there. It's like I don't even exist no more. So I have named that twin zydas because I don't get any attention when we go out to eat after about 10 minutes. And then they may check in with me like toward the end of the meal.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

It's something that we necessarily do and don't know that we do it. And we do it to everyone. I know, and we don't even know we're doing it's kind of rude. It is kind of rude. It's real it's real rude. We'll work on that. We'll take that as feedback. Okay, that's feedback. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:52

We'll take that as feedback because we do do that, but it's just like But it's natural, so I don't I'm not necessarily offended. It's just, it happens every time. It's not like a every other or two times. It's every time. So I just find my own little piece. It's like when we split meals and you don't have anybody to split a meal. And then they split me, so they order the same food every time. And they split meals. And then I'm over by myself. Well, you need to eat this, but yet you split, but then they want me to eat more. I'm like, no, this ain't happening. I mean, it's all of those kinds of things. And I, you know, thinking of the twin zitus moment, I remember the first twin zitus moment. Um, was when y'all had at five, y'all had the same dream. Oh. And you were not together really when you came uh in to tell me. And uh I remember April came and told me her dream, and it was like maybe 15 minutes or more later, Adria came in and had had that same dream. Now I can tell you that freaked me out. Yeah. Like I was like That was just the beginning. I was like, God, what have you done here? What have you given me? That was a that was odd to me. Or we would go somewhere in this particular incident, April, being with her father, went, um, I think it was a game. Adria was with me. She hurt her finger, and the other twin was hurting. Yes. And I was like, there's nothing going on. Why are you hurting? Well, I get the call and find out that she was hurt and Adria was hurt. Yeah, and that happens definitely. And they do that now, like with Benadryl.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

Thank you for validating this because people don't believe us.

SPEAKER_02 45:44

Because we don't make up these stories, but it's nice that it's a moment. They take Benadryl like a day or so ago. I'm just telling y'all. This is like recent stuff.

SPEAKER_01 45:52

This isn't just when I was congested, you guys.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

Yes, she congested, and we all might be. Um, but they'll take Benadryl, and the one that took the Benadryl don't sleep as much as the one that didn't.

SPEAKER_03 46:04

It's just it just happens.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Like they'll just fall asleep, and I'm like, okay, what's happening here? Uh so all of those kinds of things. And I think that's a it's a design. I always think things are designed by God for reasons. And so I see the birth of you all as a joy, like a joy burst. Yeah. It's like a peace and a calmness because I know that you all have each other.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

And you've been out here a while now. At first, it was hard for me. So let me just say, I just cried and cried and cried. And uh they was like, we'll be okay. They wanted to be grown uh and come out here, and that was hard for me. But as we developed and they develop in their spirituality that I knew that I had planted seeds for and my mom, then I learned to adjust with them being here because I knew they were covered, but I knew they had each other.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

Yeah, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

So that's a good point for people with twins. That's a good solid foundation of a support system. And I can say that these twins, they have each other's back no matter what. Now, if you're in an argument, this is we're keeping this real. Yes, we're keeping back. They can have an argument and I'll try to intervene just because some the mama and I like to intervene. Then they get mad at me for getting in it, and then a minute or two, maybe two minutes, they back together and I'm mad. So I've learned over time not to even get involved and let them duke it out themselves for that little, and they don't stay mad long. Like they'll fuss at each other. I was like, y'all need to stop doing that.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Didn't we fuss when we were setting up the podcast?

SPEAKER_02 47:52

They were setting up the podcast, and then and I, but guess what? I said not one word. I just let them do it that way.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

You know what? You brought us something profound because you said the relationship the apron I had, like you knew that was a solid support system. I do kind of see how like our older sister or a sibling outside of that could feel left alone. Because they don't necessarily have a support. I mean, you would want all your kids to have a support system. And we do to an extent. We just have different lives. But I could see how an outside person looking in could feel jaded by that. Like, yeah. So who is my support system? You know? Right. So I'm just picking up on these cues as I, you know, try to understand her sister.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Yeah, because especially like with Keisha, we had to bond more after you all, because y'all just left us out. Yeah. So parents. And I found myself as the parent trying to nurture her more because I saw that she was left out. Yeah. Even though she was the big sister, almost four years apart. Because everybody just started navigating. It was a natural thing. Yeah. Even in the family, friends, everybody with that. And um, you have to just think about okay, what are these personalities? And all of y'all have your own distinct personality. Yeah. Because even people now, they was like, they saw y'all's podcast pictures. It's like, well, okay, who is who? Yeah. And how do you know that's them? I said, I know my children. Yes. And so it's not a part. But it is different.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Um we had a lot of family members who overcompensated for. I mean, Keisha and I talk about this, it's no secret in our family. Like, because they saw that, that they really wanted to make sure, like, and then she wasn't left behind. That she wasn't left behind. Almost to almost to a fault. Almost to a fault. Um, I would say that. So um, so it's I'm I'm interested for other listeners if they've had that dynamic and and sort of like that self um medication of we'll fix it.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

Because that's one thing that Ape and I talk about too as twins. It's like it's not for other people to fix.

SPEAKER_02 49:59

Right.

SPEAKER_01 50:00

Twins fix twins. That's right. Twins fix twins. So um, but it's always we're curious as to why people that's the other thing, too, is like we're living up to external pressures or ideologies or ideas of what twin is. It's like you'll never know because you're not a twin.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:16

You probably know more because you're in the psychology field and that kind of stuff. But yeah, it does trip us up sometimes when other people think that they're the solution or they have the solution. Um, even when we talk about like books and scientists, I love the studies. I think it's great. I love the fact that people are curious about twins. But until you're a twin, it's like that's the raw data that you need to, you know, talk to. So exactly. And I hope what I and to that point, I hope parents take away from here. I mean, we want to have so many more, but obviously we can never have anybody on here till we have our mama. But I hope other I want to learn from other parents too, of just like where they are in their journey, because you know, Adrian, I laugh because I'm like a 70s mom of twins, it's very different than a more modern. Yeah, you know, with so many techno so many things have changed in the world. And when you were talking about how you felt more comfortable because you know you built a solid foundation. Um, and so we were gonna be together, even though we left you, you you were okay because we were together. And I bring that up to say, uh, which is almost a funny thing. My mom thinks that togetherness in her spirit journey of togetherness, um, she takes it to heart. So for instance, we go on dates or we go out, like we should. And she will be like, Oh, Adria's out, why you didn't go? Ma'am, I'm not going on a date with her. Okay. And I hope he doesn't want me to come. But you naturally do that all the time. You do. You know, Adria is somewhere else, or you know, again, we talk a lot about the hilariousness of when we started to travel separately and you know, the world broke down in our family. Yeah, they thought y'all were mad at each other. And even you. So we're just so when I think about that, I'm gonna hope parents can hear a few of the nuggets and patterns of like, oh, if I'm starting to do that, or maybe they can catch themselves and say, oh, maybe I should, you know, think again before I I mentioned that. Not that we're here to fix what's going on, because every child and every parent's relationship is different. But this journey, and I this will never be our only podcast with you because, you know, as we continue to grow even in our own adulthood as twins with you, because parenting young twins is probably way different than parenting adults. Adult twins. I'm looking forward to all the different nuggets that we're learning, and you also uh pointing out to us certain things of like, did you know you all really do that as twins, that we can start bringing that to the surface and and and having more conversations? I know we'll be wrapping up soon, and there's two things I want you to talk about. One, about like self-care and mental health of parents of twins, but I'll get to that in a minute. I do want to give you your flowers because Abra and I, not an observation, but your flowers. Yes. So Abraham, I do appreciate you outside of the clothes, which we said that was just more fanfare, but you did really allow us to have our own self-interest. Yes. Um, of course, we had similarities and a lot of things that we like, but you didn't um smother us in that way of well, if you try out for something you have to. I mean, when it came to like education and interest and things you want to be when you grow up in life, you really did give us a free reign to do that. I didn't think I saw the twinsiness. No, I didn't see the twinsiness. I didn't see the twinsiness of you doing that. So I do appreciate that. So a few flowers for you, Mama. Thank you for my flowers. It's Mother's Day, so I gotta leave it. I gotta leave it there. Everyone. So on that note, though, your background, being in mental health for over 40 plus years, there are parents then and now who may feel overwhelmed, one because of just postpartum and other things. But what tips do you have for self-care? I mean, what was your self-care during that time? Now having three kids, so that adjustment, but just like you said, you had some fears like I don't want to screw this up, or am I screwing this up? Or, you know, like when did you have a timeout or a tap out?

SPEAKER_02 53:58

So trusting your instincts that you guys were gonna be okay if I took 15 minutes to myself.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

Uh I think uh, well, we didn't have bubble bath like the Bath and Body Works or Victoria's Sea. I think it was that pink that cow we had cow gun or make bubbles out of soap. I'll never forget that. Yeah, soap. But taking time for self and not feel guilty. Okay. And that was hard for me, is it's okay that I could go sit by and have my Dr. Pepper and a piece of chocolate candy, and I could be by myself and didn't have to give y'all part of it. Because I would always want to share everything I had with you guys. But also taking quiet time, like I would listen to music. I love to read, which all three of my daughters love to read, got that natural. I think the best part of all of it is not feeling guilty to take care of self. Self-preservation is good. Self-care. Yeah. Uh taking a bath, listen to music, go for a walk without your children.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

Yes. Uh whether you have twins or not. Whether you have twins or not.

SPEAKER_02 55:11

You know, just feeling free because most of the time we are the caregiver. And women, especially, we're so used to taking care of people and circumstances. And so we need to know that it's okay to love self. And so I just learned to love me.

SPEAKER_01 55:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

And to say, what is it I need for my own self-preservation? And so I just, I would say the best thing is not feeling guilty.

SPEAKER_03 55:33

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:34

And then for my self-care, I what worked for me, I laid out y'all clothes at night. You sure did. Until you did. I remember that. Because that saved me from being frustrated the next morning trying to find stuff, grab stuff, get myself dressed for work, all of that. And to this day, I still lay my clothes out at night. You do. Yes, you do. And I always ask y'all, have y'all laid y'all out? Yes, you do. Yes, you do. It's just a good thing. And I just want people to love self so that you can love. Because if love is inside, it permeates outside. Yes, right. And that's in any relationship and with your children because they will get frustrated, or you may have to spank them.

SPEAKER_03 56:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

A lot of people don't believe in that. Back then, oh, that was not an issue. Yes. Um, I was fortunate that you all listened because you didn't want to get in trouble. And if Keisha got a spanking, y'all was like, uh-uh. I learned. I'm like, why would you do that? Yeah. They're not doing it. So I think it's just bonding and recognizing individuality. But parents need to know in children. So if of adult children listening, um, the strength of your mom or dad, give them grace. Yeah, yes. And know that we didn't have a book to tell us what to do. We had to learn it the hard way most of the time, so the same. So I always say give the same grace that you want to them.

SPEAKER_01 56:56

That's right. I have one more like good question because I just want to just soak up all that you have. So Ape and I sometimes we're online, we see some twins don't have a close relationship. Siblings, too, but just twins. What advice do you have for those who are sparring with one another, or maybe not as close as a parent probably would want their twins to be? Identical, fraternal, doesn't matter. Um, and then maybe there's a set of a situation where twins are not close to their the third person, third will. But do you have any advice for that? Um Do you let twins do get out?

SPEAKER_02 57:30

I mean, what would you say to that? I think communication. I think sometimes we try to be fixers.

SPEAKER_03 57:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:36

And sometimes things don't need fixing.

SPEAKER_03 57:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:39

It's a learning process for the twins or the siblings to kind of learn each other. Because once you learn each other, you know what sets a person off.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:49

Yes. And so then you can practice more not doing it. And there's a lot of people in the world, period, that don't get along or are close to their families. Yeah. Because when I tell people how many times a day we talk and FaceTime, they're like, Are you kidding me? Yeah. And so it's for some people, it's not a natural process. So I would say communication and listening. Yes. I always say, as a therapist, is listening is the key component more than speaking. Yes. Because then you give a person uh an opportunity, just like you guys just learning. Just like you guys just said, we got number one and number two to tell you. Yeah. Even if it spikes like a pain, like, oh my God, I didn't know I was like that or I didn't do it. Listening gives me more attention to making sure it doesn't happen again.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

Yeah. You know, I really appreciate that, Mom. And then speaking of listening, you know, and to Adria's conversation, you hear from us separately sometimes. Yeah. Towards the end of this. But um, when we're pretty much griping about each other. And so as a parent, sometimes you get placed in the middle when you don't want to. Um, and so I think that listening component, which you're speaking of, is really important because you still allow us to come to you individually. Yes. Mom, Adrian does it one more time. I cannot, you know, and Adrian's like, you need to get April. You know, like, so you're used to you're dealing with that, and it's not like something's new, but you do give us a space to, you know, you do give us that that space to be able to come to you to have the vent, and then when she vents, and then you kind of bring it together to say, like, okay, so I've heard this from you and heard this from you. I mean, we're usually texting you at the same time. Yeah, that's right. So you're gonna be wrong.

SPEAKER_02 59:32

The other one texts to say, no, this is really what happened.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

Exactly. And I'm usually telling you the truth.

SPEAKER_02 59:38

Yes. And you always say it's I'm the one that's telling the truth. And I think uh I think that has increased our bond that you all know that you can come separately to me. Yes. But then I'm going to always evaluate the situation and say, have you thought about this? Very fair. Or what was your part? Yes, don't just blame your sister. That's true. You had a role in there, and I always tell people your response to how that person did something is equally as uh important as the person that gave it is. That's the truth. And so I think everybody needs to think about that. That's that's a part that you have to learn. And it doesn't come easy, yeah, but if you practice, it does work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:19

And it's a kind courtesy to each person.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:22

I appreciate that as a parent. So we are coming to a close, and I want to finish ask this one last question. We said that like three times. I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:28

And if you know me and Adrian, y'all always do one, two, three. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

That's a mom right there, she knows. Uh, but I want to leave listeners with this you've been a parent of us for 48 years, praying to 130.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:44

Are we 48?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

We're 49 and September mom. Oh my gosh. Well, 48. I never remember how. Everybody wants to be 40 for like two years. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

Well, everybody thinks you're way younger because they was like, there's no way. They got good genes from their mother. Yes, we do. We do.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:01

What would you say has changed about yourself as being a parent of twins? Now, obviously, this is not to exclude singletons and our younger sister. I mean, our older sister, but this is just because we're talking about twins. What has changed within yourself?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

Learning how to navigate sometimes the impossible, okay. Um, finding my strength uh when I didn't know it, and uh learning patience because patience was like my blessed part of the process, is I learned how to, I just knew my strength. I was like, wow, this didn't turn out bad. And I was fearful at first. So I learned that I was stronger than I even thought I was, and I'm grateful for the experience and I'm grateful for where we are now.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

I love that. Well, I want to thank you, mom, for first of all, we've been having a ball since you've been here. So we're gonna continue shopping. Shopping, shopping and eating. Um, but I do want to thank you for coming on the podcast because again, like I said, April and I constantly get stopped with other parents to say, like, you know, like what can we learn? And so that's really what this platform is about. It's about celebrating this wonderful relationship that God created, but also learning from those who are part of the journey, whether you're a twin or not, is still part of the experience. And so just want to thank everybody for listening to episode three. Um, you can check us out at uh twinversations.com or twin stations podcast.com. Get your merchandise. We'll be back for season uh season one still, but episode four, and I hope all mothers out there, whether you're a mother of a twin or not, have a wonderful Mother's Day. Yep, happy mother. This will probably drop after Mother's Day, but Mother's Day is every day. Mother's Day is every day. So happy Mother's Day, Mom. Happy Mother's Day, Mommy. We love you, we love you. And I know Keisha, Keisha was in town, she would tell you the same thing. I know. Yes. So we'll say for Keisha too. This is from Keisha.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:56

Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. Happy everybody. God bless everybody.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:00

Bye. Bye. Thank you. Signing off. This podcast has been brought to you by the Brody Twins, aka your co-host. We want to thank our guests for contributing to today's Twinversation. For our twin community and those who love to learn more about twins, make sure you stay connected and follow us on Instagram at Official Twinversations Podcast. You know what? There's one more way that you can find us. Visit our website at www.twinversationspodcast.com to check out the latest episodes and the many platforms where you can watch and listen to our podcast. And if you and your twin will be in the LA area and would like to be considered as a guest on our episode, fill out a contact form on our website. Don't forget to check out our merch store while you're visiting.