Daily English Growth Podcast

Advanced English Practice

Kevin

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0:00 | 35:32

Advanced English Practice

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SPEAKER_05

Okay, good morning, good morning, I would say lovely, lovely ladies. How how are you doing? I hope you all are doing great. Doing great. Right.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, fantastic.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, fine. So I'm going to skip the introduction part, right? Uh so but before uh hopping on to hopping on our topic, I just want to ask you one question. Um, we all know there is one saying, easier said than done. Okay, so I want to know your uh that one thing that you think that okay, this thing is easier said than done. I mean, you try to implement uh that thing, you try to do that thing, but you are not able to. I mean, you find it a task. So, what would it be? Yes, Sunita.

SPEAKER_04

I would say why go so far. Forgiveness is one thing that people often say, forgive her, forgive him, but that's easier said than done. And especially in my case, I would say I can't forgive people easily.

SPEAKER_05

Actually, yes, okay. Ankita, what do you say?

SPEAKER_01

I'll talk about only English and YouTube. Consistency in YouTube actually, it feels easier than said than said.

SPEAKER_05

Nice, yes, Jyoti, what's your take on this?

SPEAKER_00

Um, yeah, I I would say that uh controlling negative emotions is easier said than done for me. Yes, and what about you, ma'am?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I align myself with Sunita as well as with Ankita. With Sunita because of her topic. It's very easy to say, Rane Do, Janedhu, forgive him, forgive her. But actually, from the inner core, you can't follow that phrase. Okay, you can't let it go, frankly speaking. Right, right. And with Ankita, because uh I shared a small incident, I think yesterday or day before that, that uh my YouTube journey has affected badly. And I imagine because I had a discussion with Neha a number of times earlier, too, because we know each other since long, and she would say, ma'am, okay, anecdote hai, ho ja, but it is easier, like can I but to follow it is very difficult because now when I'm back after a long gap and I see it's it's like whatever I'm posting onto YouTube, it stands over there, it's not moving forward. So I in my imagination, maybe I talked to you, and I was already familiar with the answer you would give me. So it's easier to say, but very difficult to follow. But yeah, consistency and perseverance, we have to bring all these things in our life, and maybe slowly and slowly it works out. Yes, it will definitely.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, yes, Lanita. Yeah, obviously, it's easy, very easy to say when select, but it's very difficult because after a long gap, when I started to again learn the things, so it was very difficult for me. It's easy to see people when they say, Okay, no, you can start again, you can start again. But uh to take initiative, it was very difficult. But after taking initiative, so when we start to work on it, so then we get to know okay where we are going, and then gradually we feel okay, now we can do it, but it's very difficult to break the lines to break the boundaries because we are in a comfort zone through that, but still we are feeling we are so busy, but now I can see okay how much busy we were now at that time and now also.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, yes. Sometimes I sing this song, or uh I keep on humming this song dil tunta hai. Okay, but I I I I'm enjoying actually this phase. I'm uh enjoying the every bit of it. Okay, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02

That time we were also busy, and now we are also busy. But uh it was easy to say that okay, let's do it, let's open it. Yes, Priyanka.

SPEAKER_06

Uh yeah, so my point is different here. I always feel giving up is very difficult for me. It's very easy to say, but uh I am a touchy person whenever I start reading something, so I don't want to give up that book. I try to complete it. I think that is not good, but I I don't give up easily. So for me, it is difficult. Saying is easy, but it is difficult.

SPEAKER_03

Wow, it's a great quality. It's a great quality.

SPEAKER_06

If you don't have sometime, it's sometime it's very uh uh like stopping us like to read something else which interests us. That is that time I feel it is difficult, like it's a hurdle for me.

SPEAKER_05

Actually, I can say that. I mean, uh, why I asked you this question, it was all about getting certain points from you, and I can say that the crux of the uh discussion is that if uh we take anything or uh excess too much of anything is bad, be it about forgiveness or giving up or being consistent. Anyhow, if we are not able to be consistent with our uh journey on YouTube or with anything, in a way we are not forgiving ourselves. In a way, we can connect this thing, okay? If we are not giving up, that's a that's a great quality of personality. I think I'm the one who can and we all we all can resonate with Priyanka because actually we all are not giving up. That's why we are right. So, yes, sometimes it's uh it should be. I mean, sometimes it is good to go with the flow, but uh now let's just uh come to the main point that is do people uh struggle with forgiveness? Okay, and I'm not talking about other people, sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, also, right? And I I believe that truly we uh struggle uh with forgiveness uh because we confuse it, we confused it with the with forgetting the pain, and what we do, we choose silence over forgiveness, but silence uh doesn't heal, it just hides that what's I believe, right? So now I want to go to Jyoti. Uh, what do you think? If I ask you, do uh people struggle with forgiveness? You can share your uh anecdotes or anything which you feel like.

SPEAKER_00

Sure. Thank you, Neha. Um, okay, so I will start by saying that we have got different types of negative emotions, be it anger, be it bitterness, or um despair, like sometimes discontent or jealousy, envy. I would like to uh, you know, emphasize on everything and holding grudges against someone, or be it grievance sometimes, resentment, which is uh a complex layer of uh so many emotions together. So for me, forgiveness is not about others, it's about me. Um it's I think I always choose intentionally letting go of that feeling which is going inside me. Um any of these feelings. And uh I intentionally choose that that I want to forgive, uh, I want to get rid of this negative emotion because of me, I want to feel happy, I want to feel content from uh inside. So, and um what we do, we do it on a daily basis, we juggle with these kind of negative emotions every single day. And uh I think when we uh practice forgiveness, every day we rewire our brain also, and we become the best version. So I think this happens every single day with me. It's it's it's a marathon which is going on uh every day. That is what I can say, and um it it needs to be practiced. So I practice it on a daily basis. It's it's not that that I have okay, I don't get angry or uh I don't get any emotion, it's not like that. So, yeah, that is what I can say about it.

SPEAKER_05

Nice, very nice. I think if you have this realization, uh you are halfway there, you can sort certain things in your life, right? So well done, Jyoti. And I would go to Ankita because I think she has to go to pick her son or daughter, maybe, right? So, Ankita, yes, now you

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SPEAKER_05

tell.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, uh, I can completely resonate with uh Jyoti because as uh she said that

(Cont.) Advanced English Practice

SPEAKER_01

um forgiveness forgiveness is something that needs to be practiced, okay, because we all are actually social animals. After all, we were animals, right? We had those all and we we had those jealousies, we uh we used to live in territories and all, we had fight and all. So we were uh we had come, we had evolved from that uh phase, okay, that era. So that is inside us, but with the time, with our conscious living, with our mindfulness, we have actually shaped up, uh, we have evolved us a lot. Now we are known as social human beings, we are known as social animals. Why? Because we have evolved all those things. So, but I feel that forgiveness is something that uh is a conscious thing that we need to be practiced consciously and mindfully, thoughtfully. It is not something that will come naturally because we are not born of this, that we need to learn, and we have seen that uh in different countries, people of the same country, citizens of the same country has different perspectives, has different mindset. Why? Because of their conditioning, because of their uh mindfulness. We have seen the monks, you know. Uh we have seen um great leaders, we have seen uh like Ansal Mandela, we have seen Mahatma Gadi, they people have that kind of upbringing, they people have that kind of conscious living, they have gone through so much of uh their life experiences, their literature and everything which made them like that. Okay, so but I feel that it is all about the thoughtfulness, consciousness that is forgiveness. So, um, for according to me, in my opinion, but I feel that it is a practice that we need to do on a daily basis, it's not something that will come naturally, it's not a natural thing, it's not a natural phenomenon. Our natural phenomena is jealousy and envy that is in us, and this is something that we need to practice its opposite that is forgiveness. So it is a conscious living, thoughtful living that we should follow. That's what I feel.

SPEAKER_05

Yes. So, uh, all in all, I mean, uh, people do struggle with forgiveness, and we can overcome, we can uh beat this challenge by practicing. Okay, nice. Yes, Sunita, you want to say something?

SPEAKER_04

Right. Here I want to share my own experience actually. For me, it's very easy to forgive myself, forgive my mistakes, but when it comes to other people, if they do the same mistake, it's very difficult for me to forgive them. So, this is something that we have to practice mindfully that if for any matter, if we can forgive ourselves, so we have to forget forgive other people too, because they are also as human as us, right? So that's the one thing. Other than that, when I was in Jyothpur back then, that time I've seen that if I'm not wrong, in Jan religion, people practice forgiving. Like they celebrate a day on which they call each other and they ask for forgiveness, that please uh uh they apologize, maybe, or I mean they chant some kind of mantra. I am not aware of that, but I know the meaning, like what they want to convey. So they forgive each other on that particular day. They take time to talk to each other, to you know, solve the matters, or to simply communicate things with each other. So that's definitely a good um uh what should I say? Kind of a campaign practice. Yes. So that's definitely nice. So religion also plays a very important role here.

SPEAKER_05

Of course, of course, very beautiful experience. It was something new, actually. We can go for uh this these kind of practices with us uh with our children and with ourselves only, right? And uh, yes, Sunita, I would definitely uh point. I mean, I want to highlight this thing that yes, we easily forgive ourselves, but when it comes to forgive other people, we come with a lot of uh uh logics and reasons, right? So, first uh let me hear you all, then I'll be pointing out certain more things. Yes, uh, Priyanka, what would you say?

SPEAKER_06

Uh yes, here I am a little disagree with Ankita's statement. He's saying she's saying uh it's it comes naturally. I don't feel it's uh we are naturally jealous or we are naturally negative people, we are made like this because uh since our childhood, our parents uh used to say uh don't do that, don't be jealous. Like we used to listen to those negative words since our childhood. So we are habituated, we feel we are like this, but we are not like this. Naturally, we are very good. Uh so if we start uh doing positive affirmation or we should be thankful or we should add positive words in our daily life so we can be more uh grateful and we can uh forgive people easily. And in my case, I forgive myself easily, but I don't uh forgive other people easily. That is uh I don't know why, but it happened with me. I always point out others' mistakes, but uh, if when it comes to my mistakes, I work upon those, so I think this should be not there. I am working upon this.

SPEAKER_05

That's why they say before uh uh being very quick uh with your judgments, we should put ourselves in other people's shoes. Second thing to I would like to add here that yes, uh naturally, I guess we are uh uh maybe maybe we don't have these uh feelings or emotions naturally, but it depends on our surroundings, the kind of people surrounded with. That's why Swami Vivekananda has uh taught us to be very cautious or careful or mindful while choosing your people or friends, right? Yes, all sectors count internal, external, each thing, I guess, uh every pinch counts, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, uh it's very difficult to come to some conclusion, I would say. Yes, we are social animals, being human, it has become an integral part. Like on a daily basis, we juggle these kinds of situations. Maybe for the outside world, we take some decisions, but in internally, I feel we uh don't forget if something bad happens to us. There are numbers of a number of reasons for it. Maybe uh sometimes we are angry, we are jealous, the way already the speakers have already talked about. In my case, if something wrong happens to my family members, I always take it on me, maybe possibilities it has happened because of me. And then I don't spare myself. It's it's my take. But to the people around me, I think I forgive them. Maybe, maybe I'm in a position to say because I have been at the professional front at the peak of the uh you can say hierarchy. And when you are in some chair as a responsible person, then you take the word in a different with a different perspective. You have to forgive them on a daily basis and every second moment because you have to work as a team. And being the head of the team, you have to have uh the acceptance for these things, that you forgive the person so that again there is a new beginning and new start. But this is for sure when it comes to the personal friend, like outside the professional end. I think it is simply saying that I have forgiven that person, but from the inner core, you can't. For a number of reasons, sometimes you're anxious that uh I may uh this person may harm me with great intensity the next time. Maybe these are my inner complexes that if I forgive that person, he may take me as a weaker person, or something like that. Or I want to be conscious that if suppose I forgive that person, the person may take me for granted. So I think whether we acknowledge it or not, but the this is the truth, might be uh with coming in a different uh patch of hierarchy or the percentage or the intensity or the gravity, but we all must agree to some extent with this thing also that it's not easier. Maybe sometimes we have our own complexes for the outside world, we say okay, yes, it's done, but from the inner core, we can't accept that. So think is what I mean to say the moral of the story is it's very difficult to come up to any conclusion. Yes. If I say, like other speakers have said, that we must tutor ourselves to forgive somebody, maybe the other person doesn't deserve that, then what? You you can't forgive everybody, isn't it? Maybe you don't want to create any harm for that person, you don't want to uh create any sort of disturbance for that person, but whatever the person has done to you, that you can't forget. Isn't it right?

SPEAKER_05

But I think uh if you can't uh forgive or forget, I mean if you can't forget, that's a different scenario. But if you can forgive, forgive, because in a way we punish ourselves uh for for someone else's mistake, right? Just forgive that person, but don't forget and don't trust or rely on that person, right? And uh you can say it that way. You can say it that way, yes, right, right. Forgive and forget, yes, huh? Forgive and forget. Don't forgive and uh it's it's your choice whether you also don't forget so that you are not harmed, yes, with the greater intensity by the same person.

SPEAKER_00

Like uh Neha, I would like to jump in here and uh Mama, follow-up question for you that you said that uh it's easy for you to forgive others, but then you uh internally you uh don't feel at rest, like you struggle with it. So, what are your coping mechanisms for uh getting rid of those emotions internally? What do you do? You are jyoti, you are jyoti, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, okay. Actually, jyoti, there is no thumb rule for it, like what mechanism I adapted that I because when you are head of some some institution, like because I was quoting at that time the example of that phase of my age because without team you are nothing. This is this is not a one-man show. You always work in a team when at the professional end. But as Neha have already said, then you juggle with your inner self. There is nothing that mechanism or treatment to come out of it. But the thing is, then I used to do that way. When I'm I was coming back from my office, coming back home, I used to teach myself, leave whatever is there in your office. Now I want to spend quality time with my family because when you bring everything home back home, that disturbs your family as well. It has been happening to me initially for my initial years. My family used to uh get affected badly, and there was a there was a time when my husband used to say, quit this job. If you are to bring all this bad stuff back home, and you and that is affecting your mental makeup, and you are then uh you know reacting that way with the other members, with the elders and with the children. But slowly and slowly, then I learned that was that used to stay there, that was not going anywhere. But the next day when I would go to my office, again, the beginning will take place from there from my in the in my inside my inner core. But I would simply calm down, not thinking much. It was all a mechanical kind of thing. Like I will just call the persons who had created some ruckus or nonsense stuff, and again I would just say, okay, every day is a new day to me, also, and to them also, okay, whatever has happened has happened. Now it's a new day, and we have to begin with a new beginning. So sometimes things happen at the mechanical end also. You you take it, you have to handle it mechanically.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so in a nutshell, you also practice to let go of these things within you. And uh, you know why I I asked this question to you? Because we look up to you from your experience, we can learn from you. So that was the whole intent behind asking this question. And thank you so much since you have highlighted that you don't carry that baggage and uh you don't carry it to your place back home. And uh so that's really good to hear that. Thank you, ma'am. Over to you, Nehal.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, fine. And now moving to Lalita, she is waiting for us. I mean, she has been waiting for a long time. Time, yes, Lalita.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, it's okay. Actually, yeah, you already said you all said it's rightly because as a human being, we have some kind of emotions. We cannot deny we have emotions of the anger, fear, jealousy, and forgiveness. Everything means we are a human being, so we can make mistakes. It's very obvious. Now, suppose there are two people since their childhood, they are friends and they are growing together, and everything they are doing together, but suddenly one happened, uh what happens? One person cheats to another person, so it's for another person it becomes like a trauma because since their childhood they are in a bond and suddenly something happened, so it's very difficult for the another person to forgive that person, but with that baggage, he cannot carry in his life because suppose when if I handle something, if I take something in on my hand, so it's very difficult to me to carry. So here we are carrying in our mind whatever happening because we are meeting to the so many people on a daily basis, so but we cannot carry each and everything with ourselves because at the we are human beings. If we feel like that, okay, no, I cannot forget that person. Uh, so we have to, it's very important we have to forget some things in our life so that we can go forward in our life peacefully, because whatever we are doing, I am passing to my family also, the people who are living surrounded me, the people whom I'm teaching. So, same thoughts, same thing. So, I think we have to do some practices for that consciously, deliberately, because it's very difficult to forgive other people in our heart, core of the heart, something happened, and when we realized after some time, okay, it happened, it happened, it comes in our mind again and again, even though we say that no, we forgive them. But next time we have to be conscious before giving any chance to them, we have to be conscious. If we if we is the person cheated me or cheated us, so that time, okay, we have to forgive, but we have to be conscious too. We should not give I means each and every time the chance because otherwise the person takes us leniently. It happens, it goes no, it is it's our human being, we have a feeling also.

SPEAKER_05

True, true, uh Lalita. And so yeah, see, sometimes uh what happens, some people have a flair for uh dealing with people, tackling situations, you know, very uh calm and uh uh with that pragmatic approach. But sometimes if you are oversensitive, you take everything uh to your heart, so you are going to uh put yourself in hot water, right? So it depends the kind of personality uh you have or you are, right? The person you are, right? And it depends on the people uh whom you are surrounded with now because uh every time we are running uh short of time, we have 10 minutes left. But I want to ask you one question. But I have heard uh that uh if you forgive, uh sometimes people take your uh forgiveness as your weakness, right? For me, forgiveness is not a weakness, actually, it's a battle uh between the heart that hurts and the soul that heals. Okay, because holding on to anger is easy, everyone can do that, but uh letting go takes your courage, maturity, and healing. That's my point of view. So I want to know from Sunita what do you think?

SPEAKER_04

A weakness is a uh sorry, forgiveness is a weakness, uh, it's not a weakness, definitely, but some people consider uh it a weakness because uh you know, because they feel like I have an incident to share here because once my husband was cheated by one of his closest family members, so he actually scammed him, and then my husband tends to forgive, but I couldn't forgive him because uh you know sometimes you choose not to forgive, right? Because he was the closest or one of the closest members in our family, and if he does that thing, so it's definitely unforgettable and cannot be uh forgiven as well at the same time. So I don't do that, I choose not to forget, although I can easily forgive. I choose not to forgive. Forget. So that's the thing, right?

SPEAKER_05

So yes, I'm done here, and it's a beautiful actually forgiveness is a beautiful quality or trade, not for not for other people. If we uh we have this quality or we have this art of uh forgiving people, I think we can make peace with our life and we can live a happy and peaceful life, right? So, yes, uh Priyanka, what would you like to add here?

SPEAKER_06

Uh yes, I would like to add here uh my point of view about this. Is this not a weakness, this start from uh within ourselves? We should start uh introspection time to time. Uh, and when we forgive others, so we feel good inside. We feel good at the end of the day. We are human beings, and one day we all are going to die. So I always keep in my mind we are here for playing different roles, and sometimes we are going to be uh daughter, mother, then sister. So we should play it well so that we will not regret it. If people, if others are doing not good for with us, so we should forget them. Forgive them. So this is my point of view.

SPEAKER_05

Nice, clear. Okay, yes, Jyoti.

SPEAKER_00

Rightly said, Sunita. I'm on board with her that uh it's we can forgive, but then we don't forget, and things they remain in our subconscious. So I remind myself always that you are no more than a speck of dust in this universe. And I want to be like a good, I want to become a good human being, and that I will become when I will practice how to get rid of these emotions and when there is a need to forgive others, because maybe I'm angry with someone, so I need to get rid of this anger emotion, and then I can forgive. So yeah, we should I I forgive people and it's okay. I uh empathize with them, I put myself into their shoes, try to understand why uh somebody said something like that, or maybe what is there is always a historical thing in the background which is going a story behind which makes them who they are, why they are behaving in such a manner. So I can control myself, I can't control others, so I can forgive.

SPEAKER_05

Every person is uh a victim of his or her own circumstances. We should keep this thing in our mind, right? Uh, yes, Lanita.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, ma'am, means um actually we should, it's not our weakness, firstly, uh, because we all are human beings. Uh, but yeah, we cannot carry that burden with ourselves. Every day we cannot carry with the same thing because next day something happened, next day something happened, and it's become a very burden for me if I will carry. So, forgiveness is very important so that we can live our life peacefully. Yes, yes, at the end of the day, we are human beings and we have to live our life also through that.

SPEAKER_05

So, it is not a weakness, right? It's not a yes, yeah. Okay, yes, ma'am. Me, yes, yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_03

You all have already you people have concluded one thing that uh it's difficult to forgive, but um, yeah, we must uh practice forgiving people, but at the same time, like Sunita has said, giving an example, like sharing one anecdote with us, it's difficult to forget, and that we can't because we are not only social animals. We have we have been given brains with 100 billion uh neurons inside it. They won't let us forget the other forget. Some people don't deserve, yes, yes, some people don't deserve. Next time we have to be cautious, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, I would I would like to add here, see before giving chance, yes.

SPEAKER_05

Now uh it should be uh our choice. See, if you are trying to forgive someone, but you are not happy from within within it is you're just pretending, right? And if you don't forgive and you're happy, you're satisfied, you are enjoying your life, it's okay. Because at the end of the day, we need to make peace with ourselves, right? So, why to pretend? We can practice, okay. We it it will take time, obviously. But instead of pretending to be very nice, very benevolent or kind person, try to be honest to yourself. That should be the first approach. Okay, that should be the first approach. Then comes the other people, then comes all about forgiving other forgiving other people. So, uh, yes, I guess Ankita. Yes, Ankita, would you like to add anything? Do you think that forgiveness is a weakness? I think she's just listening to us. Okay, so uh we have beautifully discussed this topic, and I'm so happy and I'm so uh I feel so privileged that you accepted my invitation and uh become a part of my uh video. And you know what? This is the best part of group discussion because we get a lot of ideas. Pamarjit Mam's experience, or Jyoti is also working professional. So, Priyanka, even everyone, uh Lalita and Sunita, we we can learn something from each other, right? As we are here to practice our language and we are sharing our knowledge as well. One strong message or piece of advice to all the learners who are going to watch this video before I wrap this session up.

SPEAKER_04

So, first of all, I would say come and join our group and enjoy the journey as we are enjoying.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, well done. Yes, Lalita.

SPEAKER_02

One piece, yeah. Obviously, yeah, one piece of a let's learn and grow together. Don't make your life difficult.

SPEAKER_04

Oh god, she's very clever.

SPEAKER_02

Nice move, smart move. We have to keep the things which is important for us.

SPEAKER_00

If you know what is important for us, yes, okay, uh, before giving advice, Neha, I would like to say this thing that I love you. I love you for who you are. And I just love your personality. No, I mean because I have connected with her, so I can say this, and I wanted to say it from deep from my heart. So you are such a wonderful person, and I'm so I feel privileged to see all of you like beautiful souls, and everything is radiating to me, the positive aura. So, yeah, so my advice is embrace your present, uh, live it fully, try to smile a bit more. Yes, that's it. Wow, great.

SPEAKER_05

Thank you, Yyoti, and thank you for making my day. Okay, so moving to Priyanka.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, yeah, I'm on mute. I am on mute.

SPEAKER_05

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_06

You are on okay. So I want to say here, and there is one saying, uh uh Okay, I forget that. Okay, so let me wrap it up here. Uh uh with one advice. Uh, we should have a learning attitude. Uh uh, if you learn every day, you will enjoy life fully. So uh Sudhi Sudha Murti says uh in her podcast, the day when you stop uh learning is the day when you stop living. So if you want to live your life, you have to learn every day. That is my piece of advice.

SPEAKER_05

Wow, nice, yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_03

If you want to go fast, you may go alone. If you want to go far, then be the part of the group.

SPEAKER_05

Wow, wonderful, wonderful. Thank you so much for for your beautiful, beautiful uh lines, and I'm so happy. Uh now I am all set to uh spend my day in a more I mean uh in an energetic way. So thank you so much. I would like to add here that um life is beautiful though it's fragile. So first learn to accept yourself with all your flaws and then try to work on your flaws. That's it, believe.