Stop Performing Life

What if you stopped performing the life you were conditioned to live and started living the one you actually want?

In this introductory episode of Paths 2 Lead, Melissa Tassie shares the heart behind the podcast and the message at the center of her work: there is one human underneath all the roles we play.

For high-achieving professionals, leaders, and anyone who has spent years trying to meet expectations, perform at a higher level, and “keep it together,” Melissa challenges us to slow down and question what we’ve inherited and what we’ve consciously chosen.

This podcast isn’t about another framework for performing better.

It’s about slowing down, challenging what you’ve been taught, and learning to stop performing life.

One human. Many roles. One life.

Welcome to Paths 2 Lead.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Slow yourself down. To stop performing life and start living the one you're meant to live. Welcome to the Stop Performing Life podcast. I am Micitassi, and this is the human connection movement. Each week, my guess and I will explore what it means to stop performing. Reconnect to what matters most intentionally.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Create a life that feels deeply aligned with who you are. You did not press play by accident. Maybe this is the pause you've been waiting for. Let's begin. Hey, welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

So this is a newer podcast that I'm sure you may have come across. And if it is, thanks for being here. I wanted to give you some insight as to really who am I talking to in this podcast? I'm talking to the high-achieving professionals, whether you're a leader, you're a mom that has many different roles, or you're that executive that keeps waking up at 3 a.m. wondering what the fuck am I doing? This is not a podcast where you're going to find frameworks, where you're going to find ways to perform better. This is a podcast where I'm going to share, challenge, provoke ways to slow yourself down, to stop performing life and start living the one you're meant to live. What I mean by that is that we are conditioned as adults, children, starting when we're little, especially at high-achieving adults, that we have to always be performing. High performance. Well, what does that mean? Well, okay, getting straight A's. Well, isn't my B good enough? No, it's not good enough. You have to be getting A pluses, plus plus, plus plus in order to get into a good college. You've got to do that. And then, oh, by the way, you need to be the cheer cabin or the captain or the swim captain or whatever kind of captain in order to get into a good school because extracurriculars matter. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that conditioning started way back then. Think about your current world right now, the role you're in, your professional role, whatever that title might be. Manager, coordinator, specialist, leader, executive, director, whatever it is. What are the conditions being placed on that role that are not yours to hold? What are the conditions on that role that you inherited that are not yours to own? I'm not talking about the how we do our job or the what we do to do our job in the how, i.e., the processes, the procedures, the the soft skills. We need those. Those are necessary to do your job and do it well, and to perform. Healthy, growing. That's awesome. What I'm talking about are what are the conditions that you inherited from the previous leader? Could be. This is how we do it, yeah. That's usually the first thing that comes up. Could it be that you inherited a team that's a little gun shy, and um I probably need to strike that word, Hans. Gun shy. Maybe you've inherited a team that is a little shy of leadership. Maybe they have been kicked around too much and see leaders as something to be fearful of. And you have to build that back up, build them back up, encourage them, inspire them, all the things, right? And what if the conditions you inherited were this perception that, for example, people in human resources, you can't trust them. Who's heard that? I call bullshit bullshit, yeah. Um, they're human just like anybody else. Number one, and number two, uh, not every human resource person has that conditioning that they have to tell their boss when there is an issue. That's how things get started. When it's egregious, moral, unethical, absolutely. But if it's one that can be handled swiftly, directly, with respect, then no. But a lot of HR professionals have gotten the bad rap that you're an HR, I just can't trust you. Who's heard that? I have no idea where that came from. I really don't. I really don't. Because I've worked with a lot of HR professionals that I did trust, that I do trust. Here's the thing though, they do not subscribe to the whole, hmm, I am not trustworthy because people tell me I'm not trustworthy because I work in HR, they don't subscribe to that. They point blank will tell you, look, HR has a bad rap, and yet here I am helping you and know that this is going to be confidential. And if you hear that is not confidential, meaning I carried the story somewhere, you have every right to come and tell me about it and call me out on it. I don't play that game. Those are the HR people that I've worked with. So that was a really small, simple example of the things that you inherit. Gosh, that was a big one, actually. Finance folks, IT folks. Y'all have like, you know, people perceive you in certain ways. Are you leaning into that perception and owning that perception and taking that perception on versus making the conscious choice of, yeah, that's not me. I am not going to be that person who you think that I am. I'm going to be who I am. I'm not going to fit your mold. I'm here to be me. And you know, um, how do I put it? You you might be polarizing, polarizing. I mean, I am not everybody's flavor of ice cream. Vanilla, chocolate, whatever. And I love chocolate. Peanut butter and chocolate, actually. But not everybody loves that chocolate. You do you. So going back to who this podcast is for, is those high-achieving professionals that know they're meant for more. They want to do more differently. I'm here to help with that. Challenge provoke. Ask the thought questions. I'm going to have guest speakers on here that are going to share their journey and their insight, their wisdom. Because guess what? I don't have all the answers. I'm not even going to pretend to have all the answers. Be very clear on that. I'm going to share for with you my life experiences, my insights. And if one nugget helps you, by God, the job's done. But having other people on the podcast to share theirs just enriches everybody's life. I mean, it just deepens our experiences. Mine too. I know I'm going to be learning in the moment. So these are just frank, real, raw, authentic conversations. No fluff, no bullshit, no pretending. I'm not here to pretend to be somebody that I'm not, because I'm not. I've been done that too many years. And I'm here to give you the permission, whatever age you are, to stop performing, stop pretending, and step into who you are and live up to the expectations that you choose. Not what you've inherited, not what was perhaps given to you and feedback that you didn't deserve. We all have that. I think in another podcast I shared how I saw two executives at one of my when I was in a role, and I watched them basically tear down an employee behind closed doors. And then when that employee walked in, fake as shit. Versus being real. Versus being, hey, you have a second? Let's talk about that. Here's some quick feedback. Coaching in the moment. Whatever it is. But that disingenuous, spiteful behavior? No. We're not gonna inherit that. So, again, going back to choices. I hope you choose to listen on and that something sparked some thinking. At least some pondering, some reflection. Stop performing life. Because there's only one human underneath these roles that we are performing. And it took me 31 years to figure that out. I don't want you to have to take 31 years to figure it out. So I hope you continue to join me weekly. Again, I'm gonna have podcasts or um guests, and and and there are times when I'm gonna be solo. There may be times when I just drop a nugget. Like I intended this one to be a nugget, and here it's 12 minutes long because I tend to like. Anywho. Wishing you the best, hoping you join me in the future. And there you have it. That's a wrap. That's it for this nugget, guys. I'll catch you on the next one.