Decoding Consciousness

Welcome to Decoding Consciousness: Who TF Are We?

• Grace Denney & Hannah Sutherland

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0:00 | 1:09:06

Welcome to the first episode of Decoding Consciousness

What does it mean to truly know yourself? Not the resume version, not the roles you play, but the you, underneath all of it all?

That's where Grace and Hannah start. Two sisters, lifelong best friends, and fellow travelers on a path that's led them through plant medicine ceremonies, spiritual awakenings, rock bottoms, and the kind of breakthroughs that can't quite be put into words... but they try anyway.

This first episode is less of an introduction and more of an initiation. You'll find yourself in the middle of a conversation that spans plant medicine and quantum physics, the myth of Pandora's Box and the nature of God, motherhood and self-worth, entities and neuroplasticity, heaven and hell as frequencies rather than destinations.

At the core of it all is a single thread: consciousness, what it is, how we experience it, and whether we can learn to code our lives around it.

This is the woo-woo awakening conversation you didn't know you needed.

Make sure you like, subscribe, comment and review. It helps the podcast be able to reach more people and make a bigger impact in this shift of humanity.

We love you all, thank you for being here and making this show possible 💚

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SPEAKER_02

Huh, who are you really?

SPEAKER_01

Who am I? I came here for a very important mission of helping humanity shift. Grace?

SPEAKER_02

Who the fuck are you? I'm just kind of really on the journey of answering that question and I think that I am the universe experiencing itself through my point of view.

SPEAKER_01

What is this thing called consciousness? What is this experience we're having? And can we break it down into a form of code that you could then program your life around it and make your reality anything that you want it to be?

SPEAKER_02

It's like you cannot get to the light, you cannot grow and get better and find that if you don't experience the pain and the suffering of the darkness.

SPEAKER_01

The more you learn, the more you know you don't really know anything, and there's still so much to learn.

SPEAKER_02

So excited. My name is Grace. My name is Hannah. Okay, so to start off the podcast, we're gonna do a little intention setting ceremony. Um so uh Hannah, if you wanna take us through that.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, amazing. I'm gonna start by lighting my sage.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm just wanting to set intention not only for this episode, but for this entire show and creation that is being brought into the physical world today. I want to open my channel to all my guides and angels, ancestors that are here to help bring information through from the other side. I am so grateful for this seed of inspiration that chose to come to us to create into something physical. I'm forever grateful for my sister Grace, because she's my lifelong best friend, and I don't know what I would do without her. And I'm beyond grateful that we get to build something together. And I want to set the intention that this podcast bring people into our lives that are here to also share this mission of teaching and sharing and spreading the love and light, and may it open many doors of opportunity for us to move in the direction that we want to go in this life for ourselves and for our families. And we just want to say thank you and I love you, and I'm so grateful to be here. Amen. Amen. That was beautiful, thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, okay, well, to start off, I think we're gonna just talk about kind of who we are, a little introduction to those who are listening. So, huh? Who are you really?

SPEAKER_01

Who am I really? You know, and every time somebody asks me this question, I'm like, I feel like I have a loaded gun to my head because there is like a 3D version of that answer that somebody wants, like, oh, I'm a whatever. I work currently at a resort. That's not who I am at all. So, who am I? I am a, I don't know what you want to call it, starseed soul. I know my soul is very special. Took me a very long time to be able to admit that to myself and to the world. I came here for a very important mission of helping humanity shift through this shift. We are currently going through the Great Awakening, the rise of the Phoenix, whatever you want to call it. It's all the same shit. Things are changing, and my soul chose to come here to be a guide and a teacher and a healer through this process. So I am a holistic health practitioner. Um, just about I have to write my final and then I'm done my course for that. But um stepping into this role of helping women heal and empowering being empowered through their healing journey in their health because it should feel like empowering and not like you have no other choice, take this medication. So that's a story for another day we can get into. But I am a sister and an auntie, which is one of the best roles I get to play in this life. One day I'll be a mom, but we're not quite there yet. Um, I am a light, and my heart is very full of love. I just want to love this world into being a better place. So we're starting here and it expands from this moment forward. So that's me.

SPEAKER_02

Grace, who the fuck are you? Yeah, and that is spot on. You are a light, and I love you. Um I am well, I feel the same about the question. I'm like, if you want that answer, I guess to two girls, I'm a mother, and to one I am a wife, I'm a sister and a daughter, and a friend, and in some people's story I am a villain, and to others I'm the hero. You know? To others, I'm just like a passing character that fills the room. But when you peel back all those things and I'm just left to be me, I'm like, who am I? I don't know. I don't know. Those are the questions that I'm still trying to figure out. And I think that becoming a mother, I did kind of lose that a little bit because before I was a florist, which I loved being. I am a creative person for sure. I have a deep love for nature and the earth, and I really know that my soul's purpose is to be here and be a steward of the earth and share her wisdom and and reconnect people with Mother Earth and plants. And so yeah, I'm just kind of really on the journey of answering that question, and I think that I am the universe experiencing itself through my point of view, and every day is just so beautiful, and every day I just get to ask myself that question and decide who and who the fuck am I? Who am I gonna be today?

SPEAKER_01

Who do I want to be today? That was beautiful.

unknown

Thanks.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like that too. I feel like I I'm in the phase of really being comp confident in in that answer now, but like up until this point, I wasn't. I was like, I don't know, and who am I to say that I am this thing? Like, am I this thing? Like, I think too, because there's such a stigma in this world that's like if you don't have a piece of paper telling you that you're this thing, you're not this thing, and it's like, no, I am so many things beyond what a piece of paper can tell me, and that's such an illusion you have to get through in the matrix to be like, I don't need to go to university for four years to say that I'm a teacher. Sure, I don't teach in an elementary school, but I am full of fucking information that I would love to share with you and teach you something new. So breaking out of those patterns and stigmas that society births upon you when you get here, you're like, wait, no, no, thanks. I'm this thing, and I don't need anybody to tell me I'm not. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, exactly. And I feel like that's kind of the whole reason why we made this podcast to begin with. It's been a long time since we kind of started questioning that narrative, and and it is really hard. Like, you're human, your logical brain, your ego is just always weight you on. Like, why would you trust your intuition? Like, that's not right. Like, you know, why? And it makes you kind of feel scared and tuck your legs, your tail in between your legs, and really question, like, no, I actually am a divine being and I have divine wisdom that can be downloaded to me at all times. And like, exactly that. I don't need a piece of paper. I don't need, you know, experience teaches you way more than a textbook can. And I think that that's kind of why we created what we're doing here, because we know that other people feel the exact same way and might need some guidance or want to share their voice too. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So the idea for the name of this podcast came from I have a seed of information in which we are going to write a book together one day, but we're not quite there. So this came from, well, we need to start with a podcast, and what we're gonna learn through this podcast and the conversations that we have will help us write what will be our book when we get to that stage of our journey. But it is to question what is this thing called consciousness, what is this experience we're having, and can we break it down into a form of code that you could then program your life around it and make your reality anything that you want it to be? Because based off of all the experiences I have had in my own life and working with plant medicine, that is absolutely the truth, and it is absolutely something you can do. So I'm gonna dedicate or we are gonna dedicate our time and our life to learn how to break it all down so that once it's broken down and you can see it, then you can choose from there on out. What do you actually want to call into your life? What do you want your reality to be? Who are you and what do you want?

SPEAKER_02

Who the fuck are you? I'm gonna ask you, Hannah, like your background story, like what how did you get here? You know, like how has plant medicine guided you here? What has kind of been the things that you've figured out and brought you to this conclusion in your life?

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's been about eight years of working with plant medicine in my journey. The first time I ever did mushrooms, I did them with our dad. And he was just like, Wanna do mushrooms? I'm like, sure. And literally from the moment they kicked into my system, it was like the answer is love. I was like, got it, got it on it, mission accomplished, I'm here for that. And ever since that moment, my spiritual journey really started to deepen and unfold. And if anyone else has gone through spiritual awakening, you know it's not just one day this light turns on and you know everything. There is layers upon layers upon layers, and it just continues. The more you learn, the more you know you don't really know anything, and there's still so much to learn. But it made me very curious, and it really validated a lot of experiences that I also had as a child that were just maybe shoved under the rug or not talked about, or I didn't realize were these things, these phenomena happening in my childhood that I then look back and I'm like, oh, I was really tuned in. I had a lot of stuff going on that very vivid memories of things happening that you know just gets like, oh, your imagination, or oh whatever. And it led me down the road to ayahuasca. My fairy godparents, my real life fairy godparents, um, asked me if I wanted to go to ayahuasca with them, and I said, absolutely. And I've been to four different ceremonies now, and it has been such a blessing on my journey of how fast it can accelerate your growth in teaching you a lesson that could have taken you lifetimes in one single moment, and I think genuinely everybody would benefit from working with plant medicine, some form of psychedelics, whether that's mushrooms or ayahuasca or DMT or I've not done uh peyote or things like that. I'd still love to try, but these medicines are your direct connection to the spiritual realms of existence. It is a doorway, it is a connection that you have. And the crazy thing is, like when I started doing mushrooms, like I would get really high. Like I would be like, I am so high, I've never been this high. And now when I do them, it's like I could take five grams of mushrooms and it would my nothing changes except the slightest bit of my perception. It's like I just get the little sparkle remembrance that I am magic still, but I don't get high anymore, and I think it has to do with all the work that I've done in the last eight years from the first time I did it to now that I live in that frequency, that it's not high because I cut shit out of my life, I cut people out of my life, I cut habits out of my life, I cut lifestyle, like I have completely ripped apart and rebuilt my life multiple times since I've been on this journey, and it has continued to bring me up into these higher realms of existence I experience now just in my daily life. So it's um beautiful and wonderful. Mother ayahuasca gave me a vision the last time that I went that my job is to be this bridge between um the physical and the metaphysical in terms of healing. Because I always wanted to be a doctor when I was a kid. If you asked me what I was gonna be when I grew up, I said a doctor. If you read my high school yearbook from 10 years ago, it would say I want to be a pediatric oncologist or some shit. I don't know. Some sort of something. I was ready to go to school for the rest of my life, and everything that's happened between then and now really showed me that the physical way of looking at health is very limiting, and there is connections beyond our physical senses when it comes to healing. And I was given diagnoses in my life that are like, this is it, you just have to deal with it, there's nothing you can do about it. And I said, Fuck that, I don't want to listen to that narrative, I'm gonna figure it out, and I did. So I've chosen to study holistic health and things like Reiki and open myself up to this bridge between the physical and metaphysical world so that people can heal in a way that is empowering and enlightening and heal the trauma underneath, because it's like you don't have this physical problem because it's only physical, it is emotional and mental and spiritual, and there are layers to it, and there are belief systems underneath of it, and stuff that you are holding on to in your physical body that then manifests as a physical problem. But if you only address it from the physical, you're never gonna get to the root of what's happening there. So that's me and my little blip about plant medicine. Grace, let's hear about your journey.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, I um started using plant medicine well, I guess eight years ago, and it completely transformed my life. I struggled really bad with depression as a teenager, and I self-medicated a lot with alcohol and substances, and that was just a way of me kind of pushing everything down and not wanting to feel and experience and and release what I was going through, and it really manifested into really, really um bad depression, which I am beyond thankful for because it was at that point in my life where I really started to question like what is the point, why am I here? You know, what the fuck is going on? Like, you know, there's more to this than we're being told, and just like Hannah, I had a very, very connected childhood, very intuitive. I had you know, a lot of experience with spirit and just kind of out-of-body, astro travel and stuff like that that I didn't even realize was you know, there was never a name for it, it was just your imagination, and it was shoved down, so it really blocked out kind of those parts of myself, and um when I was 14, I tried to take my own life, and that kind of led me down the road of getting like prescribed SSRIs, and I started taking them, and I didn't like how they made me feel, and that kind of led me down my spiritual path of meeting um a girl named Taylor that kind of helped me understand that these feelings that I was feeling weren't necessarily mine, and they were things that need to be processed and let go. So um, I guess I started learning about mediumship, which I kind of suppressed for a long time as well. I didn't like that word. I thought that people would just think I talked to dead people, and that that was where that ended. Like it's so much more than that, and yes, I connect with spirit, but it manifests in such a different way for me. Um, so when I was 17, I started using plant medicine, and at the beginning I wasn't really using it as its intended use. I was just kind of using it to get high, like I was, you know, I was just 17, and but I was having these profound experiences, and you know, it was really changing my relationship with myself, and I was able to process these things that I have been suppressing for years, like at record speed, and like let it go, and um so yeah, I've been using psychedelic mushrooms um since I was 17. I got to sit in ayahuasca ceremony with Hannah. Um, that was almost two years ago. Um so I've been busy having crazy. I know, I've been busy having babies. I know November will be two years. So I've been um I have a lot to owe to that experience, and the stuff that I learned there is so profound, like words cannot describe it. It's ineffable, it's it's insane, and so yeah, I think I really think that part of my purpose on this earth is sharing my experience with plant medicine and helping people connect with it because it is a sacred medicine that comes directly from the source. Like, if anything is gonna heal you, it's a plant that God gave you to heal. I think that if people used it in its intended way and in ceremony, this world would be a much beautiful, brighter place because it makes you deal with the shit that you're suppressing, and the shit that we're suppressing is manifesting into all these illnesses, mental illness, physical illness, whatever it is. So I think that my purpose here is to help break the stigma around these plant medicines and and help people heal with them and and connect with them because it's not just connecting with the plant or the psychedelic, it's connecting with Mother Earth, and that is to me what is really really missing in society. And yeah, it's completely changed my life, and I kind of owe absolutely everything to my journey with the plants.

SPEAKER_01

Beautifully, beautifully said. I can't believe that was two years ago. Yeah, it's been almost a year since since my last year. Yeah, Paisley's almost a year as well. Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_02

So we're we're planning a trip, you guys, when I'm done breastfeeding, to go do. Ayahuasca in Peru. So we're very excited about that. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01

There'll be a lot to come back and share on the pod after that experience. Um and a longer experience. Every ceremony I've been to has been three or four days. Um, and a lot happens in those three days. Um but a whole ten? Yeah, yeah. It's or something journey.

SPEAKER_02

You only drink for four, and then we're doing a Buffalo Varus ceremony there too. Which is like the frog that 5 EMO DMT.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That one I've not done before. I've done the other form of DMT, but not that kind. Um I heard that one really makes you deal with it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But like you said though, it's like the more you that you do it, not saying that there's no shit to deal with. No.

SPEAKER_01

But it's like you become good at working with it.

SPEAKER_02

You do, and actually, yeah, and that's like something I've really come to realize, like um listening to other people's experience with the plant medicine, too, is like it's a reason why I love it so much, is like you learn to navigate these realms, these places that you go, this kind of altered state of consciousness, and it like it helps you deal with your everyday life. Like, even on my ayahuasca experience, like my last day. So we drank for four days, and my two middle days was hell, it was terrible, it was awful. I was like, What the fuck am I doing here? This is terrible. Why didn't you bring me here? Like, what is happening? And then our shaman, we were like, did a sharing circle, and he was like, Oh, you work so well with the medicine. And I was like, Do I? Because this is not fun, like what the hell? And then I had like this realization that I'm like, okay, you know how to do mushrooms, you're a pro at it. Like, anytime my mind starts to slip, you know, I can bring myself back. Like, and I was like, Grace, these are the tools that they've been talking about. You have these tools, like, why don't you apply them? So then I the last night I sat in ceremony, I stayed in prayer, I applied all these tools that I've worked so hard for doing psychedelic mushrooms, and I'm like, it was bliss, it was beautiful, and I'm like, and the whole point of that was like you can apply these to your everyday life, and if you stay in gratitude and you stay in prayer, and if you look for the magic and you don't let yourself talk negative, like you know, this is what your life feels like it's bliss, it's heaven, it's like that was the main message of like you have these tools, and these tools you get so easily from working with these plants.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they really do, and they like the more you work with it, the more you you know learn how to navigate it, and that's like what I always tell people is it's like it's not scary, it's just whatever's coming is going, and and it's coming up for a reason, and it's the medicine is that it's coming up, so you can let it go and get rid of it, and you will physically purge it from your body. It can be in many different forms, usually puking, but I did have uh one experience in a ceremony I did where I completely shifted my perspective of my body, which was something I've always struggled with in my life, is just body image and my relationship with my body. And I did this meditation where I sent this ball of white light from my toes all the way up to the top of my head, and just said thank you to every part of my body, like for what it did for me, not for how it looked, not for any surface level reason, but like thank you, feet, for carrying all my weight, for walking so I can walk, and you know, thank you to my arms because I can hug the people that I love. Like, how lucky am I to have arms? And it's just like every body part, it's like my stomach was like, thank you for digesting my food and giving me energy to do the things that I love to do because without you I couldn't do it, you know. So, in that moment, and I went through this experience and I felt all this energy moving in my body, and I got up, sat up from my bed and like ready to puke in this bucket, and I'm like, no, it's not coming out, and I'm like, wait, what? I did the thing, I moved the energy, it's gotta come out, and then I started bawling my eyes out. Like, I never cried like that in my life, and that was my purge. It was like all this pain that I had been holding on to for so long, and I just sat there and hugged myself, and I was like, I'm sorry, I love you, I can't believe I ever said anything so bad about you and was so hateful towards you, and all the things that I've internalized that other people said to me, or I said to myself, or you know, you see things on social media that aren't even real, and you're like, this is how I should look, and all these things, it was like came out in tears. I probably cried for hours, and a time was an illusion, so we don't know how long the time actually was, but that in that moment I was like, okay, yep, relationship changed, and I don't look at myself in that light anymore. It's like wow, great. I have this physical vessel, so I can have this physical experience. And I'm a dancer, it's like I used to like be such a hater of my body. I'm like, why am I hating the one thing that allows me to do what I love the most? If I don't, if I'm my spirit isn't in a physical vessel, I can't really dance. Like, I'm sure there's some sort of spirit dancing, but it's not the same as like feeling into your body and moving that, like, oh just beautiful. There's so many stories. Well, I'm sure they'll all get shared throughout the podcast, but uh just nothing but gratitude that my life has brought me to the medicine, and at such a young age, because I know a lot of people don't find their way there and until they're later. Our dad went. He was kind of what snowballed this for us, actually, because if he had never gone, I don't even know if I would really have known about it or how to get to it or have access to it.

SPEAKER_02

Well, how to get to it is a big part of it.

SPEAKER_01

That's how it's a hard thing to figure out. Yeah. You gotta know people that know people.

SPEAKER_02

It's not uh um well, and if you're listening, you know people.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, if you're listening, you you would know people. Um, if you know, and and it's crazy because they do say that like every single human on this planet is connected within six people.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So it's like you would you know every single person on the planet within six people. So the people that you So Tanya Dahl and Cody Blue this is the 888 portal as we record this today, and we are manifesting that we're on acid for squares by this time next year. And if you don't listen to acid for squares, you need to go do that. I need to. So good.

SPEAKER_02

My three-year-old actually requested Acid for Squares the other day. It was so cute. She's like, Mom, can you put like one of those like Acid for Squares podcasts on? And I was like, heck yeah. She's like, like the ones where they talk about the aliens. I'm like, yes, Lenny. Sometimes my kids say something, and I'm like, I always like question myself, like, oh, am I good, am I a good mom? Am I doing good thing? Am I being, you know, doing my best out here? And then my three-year-old said something like that, and I'm like, yeah, Grace, you are crashing.

SPEAKER_01

You are such a good mom, Grace. Like, I know you don't get to see it from like my perspective my perspective of the outside, but outside looking in, I'm like, I thought I was patient. I'm not patient compared to you in your motherhood. That's uh yeah, I was never for a reason.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it's taken me a long time, 24 years to even understand what that word means and apply it to my life. My, you know, I was never a very patient person. I've struggled a lot with my anger, um, because our father is very angry, and I was never very patient at all, and then the universe thought that it should teach me patience and sent me my Lenny. And uh if anything is teach you patience, it's having a child that is exactly like you in a mini form, and then you have to relearn what you even thought self-regulation was and try to teach it to them. Uh yeah, it's uh it's the best job ever. It's taught me taught me a lot, that's for sure. She's such a blessing.

SPEAKER_01

He is just a little ball of fire light that both of them. I know it's great. Their personalities are just so polar opposite.

SPEAKER_02

They're so different.

SPEAKER_01

They're so different. Lenny is like Lenny is so emotionally intelligent at the age of three. Like, she is more emotionally intelligent than the average adult. Like, I think she could out emotion. But that's goes that goes to credit to you because she's uh that's a lot of taught uh taught to you have to learn how to I know sometimes I shoot myself in the own foot when she's like, Mom, you need to take a deep breath.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, really? You're like, yeah, you're right, you're right. I probably I do. I do. It's definitely parenting is a tough thing to navigate, and it's like nobody you can read all the books. I never read the book. I didn't read the books, but it's like nothing for nothing literally can prepare you for one, the love you feel of your children, and two, like just all the things that it teaches you. It's insane.

SPEAKER_01

I just I'm I'm excited for the day that I get to be a mom. Although the lot Grace just came to visit me a couple weeks ago, and after they left, I was like, I could be the cool aunt with a regulated nervous system.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it is. I know. I I actually listened to an acid for squares podcast episode the other day, yesterday, and it was with this guy, and he was like, the practice, like, because they were asking him, like, is there a daily practice that you do? Like, you know, do you have your routine, do you meditate, whatever it is? And he's like, honestly, when you're a parent, the practice is just like staying calm. It's just like you go being able to like pivot and go with the flow and like not care about time or like if your daughter's hair is brushed, because that's just a fight that sometimes you just don't want to fight.

SPEAKER_01

It's not worth fighting.

SPEAKER_02

It's not worth fighting.

SPEAKER_01

That's true, but that's it. I think as someone who doesn't have kids, you need to have those practices in place because so easily you can let the 3D physical things end up taking a lot of your time and attention and and then you forget like how much power you hold in the present moment. All the power is in the present moment. There is no power outside of the present moment, it's all an illusion, and to not have something like a child that makes you be present every day, it's like something you have to remind yourself of. Hey, even in a busy world where you're trying to do and create and be and experience, it's like just ten minutes a day of just being like, okay. I'm okay, everything's okay. This is wonderful. I'm not being chased by a saber-toothed tiger. I'm okay. And I think we don't really know, you know, we don't grow up in a society where self-regulation is taught. We don't even understand what the two sides of our nervous system are, how to activate them, what they do, why we need them, you know. And I think even now, so much talk about the nervous system on the internet is like we are like penalizing the fight or flight. It's just like bad. We don't want to be in fight or flight, but you need it. It's also important, and you have to have balance between the two. It's the yin and the yang. And like all of life is just trying to find balance between the two: the feminine, feminine, and the masculine, the yin and the yang, the push and the pull, the surrender, the light and the dark and the force. Yes, it's like everything is we live in a planet with duality. I do believe deeply in my soul that there are planets or realms or somewhere that you can exist out there where there is no such thing as duality, and it is just high vibe all the time. There is no problems. But that being said, the universe is polar, so there's also realms and planets that are hell that are such a thing as the light. We get the beauty of both here.

SPEAKER_02

I know, and it's honestly, it's better that way. Like the I just read the story of Pandora's Box, and I have not read this story in like so long. Cause I used to have like a book when I was younger, but I took this book out of the library for Lenny. You read it when we were reading. Read it to her, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It was beautiful.

SPEAKER_02

And you know, it's like they made this earth, they made this life, but there was no problems. There was no problems to solve, and you know, the humans were bored. There was no growth, there was no nothing. It was just like, you know, if you're just partying up every day, like eventually you're like, okay, like, don't really want to do this anymore. Yeah, what they created Pandora and they sent her there, and they were like, you know, may you be curious. And she found the box and she was like, I I gotta do it. And they're like, don't do it, and she's like, I gotta do it. And she opened it, and there was sickness and death and hate and all these things, but it's like, if you don't experience the polarity and the duality of like, you know, if you don't experience what it is to hate, do you really know what it is to love? If you don't experience the darkness, you don't get to the light. Like every single story of everyone who perseveres is like they were at their rock bottom, they were at the dark, they were depressed, they were, you know, lost their job or whatever the story is. It's like you cannot get to the light, you cannot grow and get better and find that if you don't experience the pain and the suffering of the darkness. Like, so it is like so important to have both. And I just personally like love experiencing and learning to navigate the duality of this dimension.

SPEAKER_01

I know, and I used to be a hater. I used to be like, I know, I have been in fucking planets that don't work like this. What the fuck did I sign up for? Um, and I I think that we will get humanity to a place of evolving past what it is now in terms of frequency and energy and what the human experience looks like. But there's always gonna be death, there is always gonna be this opposite of what we have now, and it's like I think a lot of it is so misunderstood. Pain is the greatest teacher. If we don't experience pain, we cannot learn. And because I could tell you till I'm blue in the face, some sort of lesson, but until you're in a position where you are, you know, need to hear that, you need that, you know, in order to get move on to the next level of the game, then you're like, you know, you're not it's gonna go in one ear and out the other. But it's like physical pain teaches us from the moment we're born. Like, don't put your hand on a hot stove. Well, you your mom's gonna tell you that until you fucking do it one day. Yeah. And you're like, fuck, I'm not gonna do that. But you know, she could tell you a million times, it doesn't matter. You're gonna learn through your own experiences and through pain, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, whatever it is, all forms of pain, but it's not having to stay in the suffering because people stay in their suffering way longer than they need to. It's like, you know, you could just you can tap your hand to the stove to know it's hot, or you can fucking hold it there and you can roll all the skin off your hand. Because people still choose to do that in their own suffering, and you know, it might sound insensitive, but it's actually not, it's we all do it to ourselves. Every single situation that somebody is in, whether it be physical health, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, some sort of aspect of your life, financial, every single problem that you have, you did it to yourself. And maybe there is a layer of it of while you were taught or you were conditioned, and so it's not quite a hundred percent of the blame can go on you, but from this moment on, I just told you this, so now you know, now you're aware, you are manifesting everything in your life, so you are also the reason for it. And I do think like we choose our parents before we come here, and there is such a thing as karma that is being played out far beyond this one lifetime, and the choices you made before this lifetime are the circumstances that you were given in this lifetime, and you wouldn't be put in a situation to have these circumstances if it wasn't something that your soul needed to learn.

SPEAKER_02

And seriously, okay, I want to go back to the like you gotta learn it the hard way, and I think that this is a really hard thing for like as a parent, like it's like you know, you wanna tell your kid, like, don't do that, don't do that, but you gotta just step back, and I experienced that a lot with my parents. I fought my parents on every possible thing ever, and which is probably why I have myself a tiny version of me to karma for all the things I did to my parents, but I would constantly be like, you know, like why? Just let me figure it out, let me figure it out. And it's like if I didn't go through every step that I went through, if I didn't, you know, if it didn't play out the way that it did, like I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be me.

SPEAKER_01

And it's like so important, like I to feel kind of a conversation with our dad, because I I the last time I went to ayahuasca, I went with our dad, and we got to have this really beautiful experience, the two of us, where we sat in this ceremony all weekend together and and we're dealing with our own shit, and then at the end, him and I went and sat in a room, just the two of us, and had a conversation about our whole lives, every disagreement we've ever been in, anything that's ever happened. And my dad and I were always really close when I was younger, and there was a few years where we really grew apart and we addressed it and we moved through it, and our relationship has gone back to being the way that it was. But he was holding on to all this like guilt that he felt for the way that he parented and he wished he could go back and do it differently. And I was like, Dad, every time that you may have failed me as a parent, it made me stronger, it made me who I am, and I had to learn those things. And I was like, you don't need to carry that burden for the rest of your life because if you were the perfect parent, if you nothing bad ever happened to me, like what I would be worthless, I would know nothing, I would have no skills, I would have no emotional boundaries, I would have no anything. And so I'm like, don't put that on on yourself or carry that weight because you know you were there when I needed you, and and there's layers to like of what a wonderful parent he has been and any areas where he may have come short, well I chose that because I needed to learn those lessons. I became extremely independent at a young age, but I'm grateful because I don't have to worry about trying to I I can never be put in a situation in my life where I'm like fuck I can't figure this out.

SPEAKER_02

Totally. I just was watching this reel about they did a study on a mice um on mice with uh psilocybin they gave it to like rats or mice and uh the women re the females reacted differently so then they started testing on the females and the during their cycle and low estrogen had a stronger response to psilocybin and high estrogen dampened the response to psilocybin.

SPEAKER_01

That's really interesting you know what I think that too because it's very uh in that season of your cycle it's um inward winter fall winter you're coming back to yourself you lose your outward energy it's time to integrate so oh I remember what I was gonna say okay what were you gonna say okay well because you were talking about how like it's all your it's all your fault if you have a problem. You're a next kindly yes it is okay so I wanted to just go back a second to where you were talking about it kind of you know your thoughts your beliefs your whatever are manifesting into your reality and this is kind of what you're perceiving so if you're constantly like you know telling yourself that you're a piece of shit and you suck like your subconscious mind is like he genie and you can really use this to your advantage so if you're constantly telling yourself like oh I'm a piece of shit I'm fat and life sucks and everything's so expensive like your subconscious mind is going to say yes you are right here are all is all the proof that you need to solidify that belief you have the grocery prices are going up you know your funds are going down like you whatever it is your pants are too tight or whatever it is so for years of my life I was like I'm depressed and nobody understands me and like blah blah blah blah blah all this this narrative that I told myself on repeat for literally so long in my life and this is what Mother Ayahuasca taught me when I went there and honestly it took me so long to actually integrate it but I deep dived into like quantum physics and my logical mind loved it because it was the proof of the spirituality and this is like what it teaches you and it's just like yeah I had to do a lot of reprogramming and rewriting and saying okay these are all my limited beliefs this is what I'm telling myself about myself and what version of me am I trying to be because I'm not trying to be the poorest most depressed version of me I don't want to be that I'd be out there but she ain't me yeah she exists but not in this reality so I'm like you know who do I want to be I want to be a mom I want to be present I want to be living my best life experiencing all that this life has to offer I want abundance to flow to me with ease in every friggin' direction out my hoo-ha I don't care like that's who I want to be but I'm like that version of me isn't walking around complaining about the price of groceries or telling myself I look fat in the mirror like that's not it so if I want to get there if I want to get there then I have to strip it down and completely rewrite everything and for the last month well I guess it's been a lot more than that because honestly every time you do plant medicine it does really really help you rewire because the mycelium that the mushrooms so when a mushroom grows in the ground it forms mycelium well technically the mycelium forms first before the mushroom but it spreads through the ground and it works like little networks and it will like wrap around the roots of trees and the trees will use the macelium to send messages through to other trees like if this patch of birch trees are are experiencing some sort of pest it will send the messages through the mycelium and it will tell it will warn these birch trees over here and they'll start producing hormones that will rather attract birds to come eat the pest or just deter the pests in general so they're like literally so important to nature and that's why these plants are so important for us to consume and this isn't just psilocybin mushrooms either this is lion's mane this is reshix this is ashwagon it's all these mushrooms that you can take daily like just go to the freaking nutters or whatever and buy yourself some mushrooms and they change your whole neuroplasticity in your brain they help rewire they help neuropathways form like so much faster so usually it would take you so long to you know create this new habit create this new way of thinking but when you take mushrooms it like quantum leaps you because it just shortens that time that you actually need to physically make the pathways in your brain because you want to you will take the the path of least resistance and these things do help you physically make those paths in your brain so yeah it is you are guilty of what your thoughts and your feelings and your beliefs are about yourself and it does manifest in your life and I and I know that because I've been through that and I've had to rewire that and I'm still on the path of doing that but it is actually crazy like what happens in your life when you just rewrite the the story you know like easier said than done I get it but but it is it's like you're in victim consciousness when you're just like oh poor me I'm so stressed everything's so expensive but it's like okay get yourself out of that because sweat the shovel down yeah exactly and start climbing out I would like to also say though oh there's another layer to that of yes this it's up to you to make the decision it's up to you to you know climb out of the hole but there's another layer to this that is in the metaphysical world that is not talked about and it is um entities and there are spirits and other things that will attach themselves to you and whisper things in your ear of I am not good enough I have all these problems because essentially they live off your life force energy and they will suck it all from you and keep you stuck in the slow vibration and if you are somebody who likes to participate in other substances this is a really um something that was a life changing for me eye-opening and uh in in an exact one moment of realizing this change the decisions I made for myself I've never been somebody to do hard drugs um but I've seen the the spirit of cocaine it's disgusting um also alcohol I don't drink alcohol I haven't in two and a half almost three years um and it's because it puts holes in your auric field it weakens your protective bubble that you naturally have around yourself and it can literally let other things into your vehicle and drive the car. Why do we think people that are blackout drunk make stupid decisions that they wouldn't make when they're sober it's probably not even them probably some entity driving the car. Okay I'm sure my sister could tell you a hundred million stories about what I used to be like when I would drink all the time and it was not Hannah hi I would never do that. And same with weed I haven't smoked weed in over three years I used to smoke a lot of weed um but I met the spirit of marijuana and she was sticky and goee and made everything in my life move in slow motion. It was like you know everything it it had so much resistance and I was just like I don't want that in my life and you know pick your poison we all I like to do mushrooms. I do them more as it now for a ceremonial purposes and not really just to get high but I do still like to take them if I'm gonna go out dancing or something where I'm trying to be like more social bubbly version of myself I suppose but I've also learned that I don't need those things to do that. I don't need to pretend I need permission from something outside of myself in order to have fun. And if you are somebody who does like to drink or partake in doing drugs um understanding that there are effects not only to your physical health but spiritual health energetically it it is impacting your life and cleaning up like who you spend time around and what you're putting into your body will also quantum leap you so fucking fast because you are who you surround yourself with and if you notice that you know maybe you have friends that aren't rooting for you who don't actually want you to succeed that you know you might start noticing that the way they talk about themselves or about you or about other people and you're like ooh icky I don't want that around me there these are little things that are gonna give you uh glimpses into like where you're giving your energy away and where it may be things out of your control that you can gain that control back that awareness back of like I don't want to give this any of my energy um and and or a time or attention or you know any form of of currency that we have because it could be playing a really big part in in what's keeping you stuck or what got you in this hole in the first place and there is a lot that can come from it when you learn to say no thank you. I don't want that in my life anymore.

SPEAKER_02

I d I totally agree. I think one of the best decisions I made was to stop drinking. I kind of came to a realization that I just no other thing would ever make me make decisions like I did on alcohol it was you know it I had really struggled with the abuse with it and kind of blaming it on whatever the fuck kind of hole I got myself into. And you know what that feels fine yeah like yeah whatever so you know with that like I understand that it is like alcohol is so normalized I don't think it it should be I think that the plants should be normalized. Yeah but I also understand that you know we're not quite there yet we're getting there and you know if there you know for me I still have people in my life that um participate in those kinds of things and just really making sure that you know you don't have to miss out on going out with your friends or you know for me maybe like going to the casino or whatever it is that Rylan and his friends like to do it's just that you're like really like Hannah said being aware of where you're giving your energy and just really really protecting yourself like making the intent of like I am not giving away my energy I'm not picking up on anything you know I am light I am love you know you can check me out but like no thank you is is really really important just having that kind of spiritual hygiene because yeah like you like when I first got into my spiritual journey it was like I was experiencing all this anxiety and depression and Taylor was like okay it's not yours though like you know and then it was like no you're right like what I'm you know what whose is this it's not mine what am I anxious about like um so just being aware of that and being able to cleanse yourself and and let go of of things that are kind of building up and pulling you down. I once read this quote um that was like if you hear in your head like I'm gonna butcher this so bad like if you hear in your head like thoughts bringing you down like oh you're fat oh you're whatever it is um that it's like the devil because he the only thing that he never had was a physical body so he tries to make you hate yours because he's envious that you have physical form and it's like that is so true and by the devil I don't mean like one specific entity I just mean like negativity light yeah lack of light lack of love in general and there's a lot of spirits out there like we only see one percent of the light spectrum so 99% it's a consideration now yeah it blows my mind when people get so stuck in well I can't see it you can't see nine you can't see germs but you know they're there that doesn't mean they don't exist yeah exactly it's like you see one percent of the light spectrum 99% of reality you don't even see you know so it's like yes that stuff exists if your human brain can think of it it exists because our little tiny brains are stupid in comparison to the universe you know it's a limiter it's like we actually have access to our soul is like infinity is is is the infinite we are God experiencing itself oh this was what I was gonna say when we talked about Pandora's box not to bring it all the way back to 45 minutes ago but when we talked about Pandora's box and they said like everything was good I I recently came across I don't remember where I had this if this was a podcast I listened to or just thoughts in my own brain who knows at this point but it was um what would you do if God God was all powerful all knowing everything it it was everything and it was like you what would you do you would be so fucking bored you would not know what you would what would you do so instead of staying this all powerful all knowing being it broke itself into infinite parts and we are all a fractal of that yeah this was on Assid for Squares podcast yeah and so I was like but then I met a friend here where I'm living who knows a lot about space he like worked in an exerv uh observatory and he was like super knowledgeable about space and we got into this conversation and he was telling me like scientifically all this thing about space and my brain is like spiritually about space and it kind of said like it made sense to my brain that it's like in the center of the universe is God.

SPEAKER_01

It's this big ball of white light love purity and if you do plant medicine it'll give you a little drop of this love and be like dummy you're in this pool of infinity like don't forget that you have access to this at all hours of the day and the farther you are away from that light the darker the denser the harder it is and this goes for your everyday life if you choose to be of love and light you're living in heaven on earth and if you are making decisions with lack of love in your heart and you're being a shitty person your life is going to be a living hell. And I think that like I genuinely think that's what like Jesus was trying to teach in the Bible turned it into this literal thing fear mongering for people of a form of control because something you can never get to yes we know right we we don't know what happens when you die well we do know what happens when we die you listen to anyone that has a near death experience they say the same friggin' thing it's not that hard but but in religion it's like you know we they don't believe in past lives or it's just like um you rather go to heaven or you go to hell and it's like no that's that's here. Heaven and hell are are right here and it's frequencies in which you experience in your everyday life this is why the substances that you use and the decisions that you make and how you talk to yourself and what you put in your body and the people you surround yourself with are freaking everything because it's the difference between living in heaven and living in hell a hundred and you are a fractal of God so don't forget that part too you are a fraction of God experiencing itself in physical form because it God was so bored just sitting there knowing everything. It was like let's forget and remember it again. Yeah let's contemplate ourselves and this is why like we just need to have so much grace and so much love for everyone because it's just like everyone is experiencing it in their own way and it needs to be experienced that way like you know it's not gonna be perfect and that's it's all just the universe experiencing itself through that person's point of view like we're just trying to learn we're all human we're just trying to figure it out we literally just came here to learn this like a school like we just need to and souls are lining up down the fucking block and back man to get into this earth school like souls are like so the fact that you are here having this experience especially this right now listening to you found this podcast you're one lucky motherfucker no I'm just you actually though like the odds of you being here and experiencing this um blimp of history that is is what we are moving through the start of the craziest shit this planet has ever experienced well the thing is we have experienced it in other times we've just lost that knowledge and information and we're remembering it again and we're getting back to a place where humanity can be um one we lose we need to lose the separateness because that is the lack of connection the lack of love and light the lack of you know there's so many different religions and belief systems and all these things that you know then it go people go into race or political skills or whatever it's like more and more things to try and tell us that we are different from everybody else or we want to be special we want to be we're trying to why but we're separating ourselves so much that we've lost the plot.

SPEAKER_02

We have lost the whole point I've seen this thing and it's such a good way to look at it it's like think of consciousness as like a big I wish I had a bowl of water a big bowl of water and when you incarnate they take the water and put it into a cup it's like you think you're separate because you're in a different vessel than this cup of water but you know we're we're gonna go back and we are source again or I like the analogy of it being like an ice cube tray and like you separate them and you freeze it and you and it's a separate thing but is it really because when the ice melts it goes back to source it goes back to consciousness it's just water again and it's all connected and it's like such a beautiful way to look at it because that's what is that's just what we need we need each other I did a really I did a ceremony in Bali that was about water and it was like in in a pool and it was one of the probably one of the coolest things I've ever done and it was like no psychedelics involved just sober in a pool but it was like everyone set their intention before you go in this pool and you set your intention into this bowl of water and then once you got in the pool they poured the intention into the pool and it was like just all these different exercises of movement and it's like see how one person moves in the water and it it affects everybody else can feel the ripples of it and it's just like we come here in water in our mother's room we are submersed in water and water also represents our emotions and that is like our connection to each other how we can relate to each other is being like holy shit I felt that I feel that I you know I've had that same feeling and it creates connection between us we're also 70% water like our bodies are this planet is mostly water like it's just yeah I'm here for that me too okay well we should wrap things up because mom is texting me where am I we have tried to record this podcast four times and I am now at my sister's house recording it because my wifi is shit and it does not want us to record a podcast so I gotta go it was waiting for today that was to be in Gemini it was and for us to communicate so thank you all for listening you know this was just kind of an intro about what we are about in our journey and we're very excited to be here and share with you and you know we're gonna have guests on and hear about their stories and deep dive into topics all about this kind of realm of woo-woo if you want to call it so thank you Hannah for being here I love you and thank you thank you and the posters out there to Steve Jobs for this uh laptop yeah please reach out if you have any experience with plant medicine or or not if you're just kind of curious are into the it's into the woo-woo if you want to be on the show we would love to have you we're all about collaborating yeah if you know Cody blue tag them send this to them send this to them send this yeah send this to a friend share with your loved ones yes like comment it helps us out sharing these messages with people voices out there farther okay love you love you bye