Perception

Our experiences shape our beliefs.
Our beliefs shape our identity.
And our perception shapes the way we experience the world.

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Welcome back to the Align Your Mind podcast. Have you guys ever met someone and build a relationship with them and get to know them on a deeper level? And then you're like, oh my gosh, this person is not like I assume they would be like based on what they look like on the outside, and that could be for the better or for the worse. But like when you see someone on Instagram versus when you meet them in real life, or when you meet someone for the first time in real life and like see who they're hanging out with, and you're like, oh, I I bet they're similar to this person because they're hanging out with them, and then like you get to know them and it's like completely different. And that's just crazy to me. And I want to talk today about perception because our identity and our beliefs come from the experiences we have, and I strongly believe that the way we perceive others and the way we perceive ourselves comes from our life experiences and the other things we experience, because our mind is going to try to make connections to what we already know. So when we meet someone, we're gonna try to be like, oh, like this person is like my friend, this person, or this person reminds me of this person, and because like our mind is making connections, it's perceiving the person based on someone we've met before, or based on an experience we've had. So we assume that we know someone because of our life experiences, and I think that's so crazy because some people can be so different, like people, opportunities, a job, like life can just be so different from what you make it look like based on your experiences and how you perceive things. So how you perceive yourself and how other people perceive you is based on experiences that you've had and experiences that they've had. So you can't control how people choose to view you, you can't control people's perceptions of you. But if it is negative, you have to think like that is a projection of their experiences that they're projecting onto you and choosing to perceive you through that lens. And that's why you literally cannot care about what other people think. Because what other people think is solely just the outcome of their lived experiences so far. And like that's why I'm so passionate about travel and just like talking to everyone. That's why I love serving because I meet so many people, and every conversation just leads to a whole new perspective. Like last night at work, I met this couple, it was their 63rd wedding anniversary, they got married at 19 years old, and I was like, What's what's your guys' secret? And they were like, 80% of the time, the husband actually said this, he's like, 80% of my time I'm thinking about her, and 80% of the time she's thinking about me. And he was like, The secret is to just always put them first, which was so beautiful, and like she was so cute, she was just a petite little doll of an old lady, like her elbows were up at her ears because she was so short, like trying to cut her steak at the table, and I'm like, Oh, she's just so adorable, like how cute and beautiful, and like wholesome and bittersweet, like it is just so cool to see relationships like that. And I just like love serving because you just get to hear and meet so many people and hear so many life stories, and you realize that the way that you're living is not the only way, like, there's so many other ways, and you get to do whatever you want with your life and just know that it's always an option. Like, it's okay to change your mind, it's okay to one day stand so strongly and firm in a belief, and the next day to wake up and be like, you know what? Like, I don't stand for that anymore. Like, I want to do this, or I want to be this type of person, or I want to be the type of person that does this, and it's okay to change your mind. Like, I think change is such a scary thing because we perceive it as that. We think that, like, no, like, this is who I am, and like we don't find ourselves, we create ourselves, so we need to constantly change and constantly evolve and choose who we want to be, and let your mind change with your body. But I saw this quote on TikTok, and it was like, I want to have the strongest sense of self that no one else's opinion or perception of me will change that, and I'm trying so hard to like really think about what I believe in and what I stand for, so that when someone else says something, I'm not just agreeing with them to agree. Like, I want to know why I stand firmly in what I believe in, and that's why I'm like I love researching stuff. When I worked at the clinic, I would go on like science daily and like search random things because I love to know about things and like all the intricate details. Like, I love learning, and I think it's so cool to be able to bring that to a conversation when you are interested in something, or if that topic does come up and you're able to actually dig deep on a topic with someone, I think that's so cool. But yeah, just invent yourself, create yourself, think about the person you want to be, do the things to get there, and then stand so strong in your sense of self that no matter what anyone else thinks or what anyone else says is going to change who you are. Because who cares what anyone else thinks? And I used to be such a people pleaser, like, oh my gosh, what if okay, for example, this year, every year at my cabin, my family cabin, we do a weekend, kind of like a family reunion, is what I would relate it to. It's pretty similar to that, and I've just have been so busy, like constantly running. I have not had a weekend to myself, and so I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna go. And I literally like that was so hard for me because I'm such a I'm scared of what people are gonna think and how they're gonna perceive me. And like I felt so guilty for not going, and it doesn't help that like a million I got so many texts about where are you? Come to the cabin, come to the cabin, and I was like, no. And it's like to just stand so firmly in that and like be like, no, I need this weekend, I need some time to just be and have a weekend to do nothing. I think it's such a strength. The ability to say no is such a strength because it's hard to not be a yes man, because that's totally what I am. I I like to say yes to everything. So just have a strong sense of self and be confident and fake it till you make it with the confidence, like not everyone's confident, and some people are not confident at all, but you would never know because they fake it till you make it, and that's not being fake, like faking confidence is going to build like your mind believes that you repeatedly tell it. So if you are having those thoughts subconsciously and consciously, that like you're confident, you don't care what people think, you're gonna develop a strong sense of self, and other people's opinions aren't going to matter to you. And that's not to say that you like just shut down anyone else's opinion, like it's okay to hear other people's perspectives and what they think, but you can just hear it and like let it flow in one ear and out the other if it doesn't resonate with you, and just be like, that's okay, because it's okay to be different. Like, I remember talking to my grandma one day, and we were talking about how much I love traveling and I want to travel, and like how I just can't understand how not everyone wants to go see the whole entire world. And she was like, you know what, Macy? Like, what if everyone did want to see the whole entire world? What if every single person in this world was traveling? And I was like, Yeah, like that's true, I guess. Like it wouldn't work then, like it wouldn't be as significant because every single person's doing it, and think of how busy everywhere would be, and like think of how packed airplanes would be, and how crazy the world would be if every single person was traveling. So it's like we all have desires that put on to us because they're meant for us, and that's why I think it's so important to do what your heart tells you because not everyone wants the same things for themselves, and that's the beautiful part of life. Okay, moving on. I also found this quote, and I love it. People give you what they are, not what you deserve. What you deserve, you give yourself, and I think that goes a lot with perception because people give you who they are and what they have to offer, and people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. So if you don't align with someone, just know that maybe you're on different levels, like their life experiences have brought them to where they are, and your life experiences brought you to where you are, and that's not to say you can't be civil with everyone, but not everyone has to be your best friend, and that's the beautiful thing about life, is like knowing you can let go and walk away, and you get to choose your people, you get to choose your friends, and you get to choose your partner, and with that, like your friends and your partner should treat you with respect and think highly of you, and you do deserve good, healthy friendships and relationships, but just know that what people give you does not equate to your self-worth, like people give you what they are, it has nothing to do with what you deserve or how much you deserve to be loved. It just they give you what they have to offer, and that's what they have, and that's also I think perception of them, like it's a reflection of who they are, they're projecting who they are into what they give, and I think that's why it's so important to be intentional about how you want to show up for friendships and relationships because how you treat others is a reflection of how you treat yourself and how you feel about yourself. So if you are an amazing friend and you're showing up and you're just doing the most, and it takes to have a village, you have to be a villager. So like take on those oops sorry, take on those attributes and those qualities to like show up for other people. It's just a reflection of who you are, how you move through life, who you are as a person, it's a reflection of your values, your beliefs, and your identity. And I think it's so important to be intentional about that. And then also social media, like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, you have to post for yourself. Like, post for yourself. I totally changed my mindset on this. Like, I used to sit and think about Instagram posts, like, oh my gosh, what are people gonna think? Like, is this person gonna like this? Is this person gonna see this? Like, who cares who sees it? It's for you. You are posting based on like what you want to post, what you like. Like, I think of my Instagram now as like a scrapbook, an online scrapbook for me to look back on. Like, I click through my Instagram stories and go through my Instagram so much because it's so fun to like look back, and then if other people also like to look at it, like that's cool, but you have to post because like post for you, not for who might see it or who might engage with it or who might comment on it. And I also think social media is a projection of who you are too. Like, I don't know, I don't wanna I have some thoughts, but I feel like I shouldn't talk about that because that's something I talk to my friends about. And how you perceive yourself matters, like how you perceive yourself is going to affect your relationships with all everyone else, and you want to hold yourself to high standards and like value yourself and not just post bikini pictures on Instagram for external validation. Like, if you're like confidence is quiet, confidence is not looking for external validation, confidence is knowing that knowing who you are, knowing what you stand for, and just not caring what other people think. This is making me think about the book I'm reading right now called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. And I really like it. It's making me think in so many different ways because it's just like it sounds harsh, but it's like you have to you have to choose what you're gonna care about and what you're gonna choose to put your time into because you can't care about everything, like that's when life gets so much better, is when you stop caring about every single thing and what every person thinks and with that like everything in life only has the amount of power that you give it. So if someone says something negative to you or if you have a bad experience, like it's only a bad experience if you label it as that and you give it that power. Like, someone can only ruin your day if you give them that power. So just know that that's also how you view things, like your perception of stuff, like everyone's perception of like how bad something is is subjective. Like, I think labeling something as bad is subjective because it's based on past experiences and what you know, so what you're relating bad to. Like if you've experienced something horrible, like so bad, I I don't even want to give examples, but like if you've experienced something so horrible, nothing is gonna seem that bad to you because you've already experienced something, so that's your perception is like life is amazing. Like, if I got through that, I can get through everything else. But if like the worst thing you've ever experienced is like a flat tire, like then your perception of bad is going to be worse than someone else's, and that's why you just have to be mindful of like everyone around you their personality, the way they move through life, it has nothing to do with you. Like, everyone has so many different experiences in life, they have so many different relationships and have so many different I think people that travel for one are so cool because you just see so much, you see the millions of different ways that there are to live life and move through life, and I think that you bring that with you, bring those experiences with you into who you are, and in return goes into how you show up for other people. With perception, I just want you guys to know that we don't know what other people have been through, we don't know what other people have experienced, and their experiences shape who they are. So we need to be less quick to judge people and just always be kind. We need to give others grace and meet everyone with an open mind because we don't know. We we truly don't know someone. Like we will perceive them. Every single person can perceive the same exact thing differently. So we just have to keep an open mind and not be so quick to judge. Also, this is why I love experiencing things for myself and not listening to what other people say, especially when it comes to people, because I don't want to hear about someone and like who they are. I want to make that judgment for myself. And I hope that people would do the same thing for me. Like, I wouldn't want someone to hear something about me and choose how they're gonna perceive me based on something they've heard. I would hope they would come to me and get to know me for who I am and not what they've heard about me. Also, okay, this is a little bit off topic, but I have been thinking about this. Like, if you couldn't bring your phone or like you couldn't post something you were doing on social media, would you still do it? Like, do you do things just to post about them? Like, you really have to think about that. Because I think it's so easy these days to be like, oh, like, yeah, let's do this. Like, I can get some bomb Instagram pictures when we do this, or like, because that takes away the meaning of life. Like, that takes away the whole meaning of that experience when you're doing it with an intention to post an Instagram photo. Like, you should do it and be present with the people there and experience the experience fully without thinking about who is gonna see it later in an Instagram post. Yeah, that's all I have today about perception. But give yourself grace, don't be so quick to judge others, and always be kind.