Bitching About Hot Flashes

Marni and Dom, your new sweary besties are here to bitch about all things perimenopause and menopause with you!

On today's bitch session, they're bitching all about the #1 symptom nearly half of all folx with ovaries experience while going through perimenopause: HOT FLASHES - why we think they happen, some of our most embarrassing ones, and what we use to get through them.

Grab a beverage, besties, and let's start bitching!

Transcript

Marni 0:01

Welcome everyone to Bitches in Heat, a podcast where middle-aged hotties bitch about perimenopause, menopause, and the shit that surrounds it.

Dom 0:10

Also, hotties, there will be swearing. So maybe wear headphones or go in a different room if you've got kiddos and sensitive ears. But do grab a glass of your favorite beverage besties...

Marni 0:22

I'm Marni...

Dom 0:23

And I'm Dom. And today we are bitching about hot flashes. Oh yeah.

Marni 0:30

And just to be clear, we are not medical professionals, and our advice should not be construed as such.

Dom 0:36

So, if you have any medical questions, go see your OB/GYN or even better, your menopause specialist, and tell them we sent you. So, uh, what are who are we and what are we drinking today? Who are we and what are we drinking? Sometimes I honestly, Marni, sometimes I don't know who I am. Today, today I am Dom Salvacion. I am located in the Northeast, and I am drinking a random rose from the corner market.

Marni 1:09

And I am Marni Penning, and I am in the DC area, and I am drinking Sauvignon Blanc. The same Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc I was drinking before. So it's it's a theme.

Dom 1:20

I love it. You're always got your Sauvignon Kim Crawford, and I've always got a rose that I don't remember what it's called. But hey, I'm all pink today. Look at you! And and I see that you are wearing our merch, Dom. I am wearing armor. Can we talk about our merch there for a second? Take a peaky, take a peaky. So we got we got some hats. It's so cute with a little little Hodi on the back. And then I'm gonna show you the booties. You can't really see it in the camera, but it says Hottie right there. I only steamed the front of the shirt though. And then I also, because I can't help the dopamine hit of shopping, it just makes me so happy. I got it in black. It's so cute. And the tea, but the tea and the hats come in multiple colors.

Marni 2:15

Yeah, that looks so great. Oh, I'm so happy. Mine is still in the mail, it hasn't gotten here yet.

Dom 2:21

And I will say, too, the t-shirts are 100% cotton for those of us who need all natural fibers that breathe.

Marni 2:28

Thank god. And they're v-necks. So if you have boo-boos, you don't look like a bubble.

Dom 2:35

[Laughing] Like a bubble clothes. You don't look like The T runchbull from Matilda, which is how I often feel in a crew neck.

Marni 2:43

Oh my god, a hundred percent yes. Um, so that's at shop.bitchesinheatpodcast.com. Make sure you add the podcast after bitches and heat because the others have a very different website. Got it, a lot of boobies. Hello, everyone in the chat. Cold mug of coffee Oreo ice cream for Susan. Love it. Oh my gosh, look at all these fantastic people in the chat. All our hotties here. Thank you all for being live with us today. Yes, this is amazing. Uh, drinking a pink, my friend Rebecca is drinking a pink grapefruit Paloma Mocktail. Uh, that's delicious.

Dom 3:18

Drop that recipe in the chat, please. Or if it's just a thing you buy, please tell us what that is. Yeah, it sounds amazing.

Marni 3:25

I love it. Um, so today we are bitching about, as we said, hot flashes, which suck. And the fact that both Dom and I are audiobook narrators and we work in four by four coffins basically all day long. It is, yeah, it's hotboxing, and you got your hair hat on too, which is so cute. Um, but tell us, tell us about your your ice um icewear today.

Dom 3:56

So my icewear today, so I got these little little guys on on the evil empire of Amazon. But you know, sometimes we do what we got to do. And they're these just like these little, I don't know what it's made out of, but you they come in a pack of three, you stick them in the freezer, and you can just take them out, wipe them off if they've recruited any ice on it, and just put it right around your neck, and it just it immediately cools you down. Um, false advertising, however, because they say they're supposed to last for three hours, but I don't think they tested them on peri men or menopausal women because mine lasts for like 15 minutes on. That's the worst.

Marni 4:37

Yeah, and especially like right there at the back of your neck. That's where like that's where all of the heat in in me in any way, in any case, accumulates right there on the back of my neck. And so, oh, that's the worst.

Dom 4:49

Today I I opened the freezer today and I stood with my neck into the freezer like this because I was so oh my god, it's the worst.

Marni 4:59

I have so today I brought my ice vest, my legendary ice vest that I was telling everybody about. And this sometimes it'll get up to like 90 degrees Fahrenheit in this booth, and it has I made it out of an old hospital gown. And I just like made it up, and there are pockets in here, and in each of the pockets is an ice pack, one of the ones that comes with your food, you know, when you order it from uh Instacart or whatever. And I made uh one on the one on my back, one on each of my sides here, little pockets, um, and then one on each shoulder because um when I was wearing it before and I didn't have the shoulder pockets, it would get like so hot right up here, and my stomach would be very cool. But having them on my shoulders helps so much.

Dom 5:54

I bet.

Marni 5:55

I have been known to take a walk with this too. I mean, I would. Did you do you need to have a sewing machine to make that? You don't. You can all you can always, you know what you can do is make it with that ironing tape, you know? Oh you could always like just cut the pockets the size of whatever um ice packs you have, and then like iron on little pockets, just so you have a place to keep the uh the ice packs in place. So like one on one on the one on each flank, one on each flank, and then one right in the middle of your back and one on each shoulder has been ideal for me. So like when it's a hundred degrees outside and I'm down here in this hotbox, um, I can't have, I mean, I have the air conditioning on in the house, but I can't have it on um like in the booth because the mic is too sensitive. It picks up everything. Um, so these will keep me cooled down for an entire recording session, like 10 to 4. Um Yeah. So I'll what I'll do is I'll wear it for the beginning of the session, and then I I put it in the ice in the um freezer when I take my lunch break, and then I'll come back and put it back on.

Dom 7:12

So nice. Okay, I'm totally gonna try to make one of those.

Marni 7:15

Yes.

Dom 7:16

And Rebecca just said, merch idea hottie branded ice vests.

Marni 7:22

I love that, Rebecca. Thank you. All right, and my sister Anna says, amazing ice vests. Hello, Anna. You were thinking of that it looked like a hospital gown. Yes. Yes, I used to do um standardized patient work. And so, and if you don't know what that is, it's you're an actor who is portraying symptoms for doctors when they're learning about bedside manner and how to diagnose things. And so you go in and they assign you a couple of uh hospital gowns like that, and you get to keep them because you're using them all the time. And I was doing it for um for doctors, like uh military doctors when they were still, yeah. Some interesting, I got to have like nine babies in one day one time, and it was so crazy. I felt like octimom, but like not all at once.

Dom 8:15

Amazing for those who are only listening. The face I just made was slightly of horror. Yeah, and slightly of horror.

Marni 8:26

Y'all need to run ventilation to your booth. Yes, genda bomb. I am worried about breathing. So, yeah, gender bomb for sure. Like, maybe you could do a little um tutorial for us. I do have a vent and I have this thing, but like I I I am very proud of my noise floor. It is very, very low, and I'm such a stickler about like having it off when I'm actually recording. So I just open the door and everything's okay after that. Needs to be outside your booth. Yes, it is. It's on the outside of my booth, and it like sucks the air out, but still, it's when you have perimenopause though, it doesn't matter. Like, all right, all right.

Dom 9:10

This is this but this is this is a hot flash episode, not a booth episode. So that's true, that's true. All right, thank you.

Marni 9:18

No, I appreciate this.

Dom 9:19

Keep us, keep us on task. Um so so former project manager in the past, people. Um, all right, hot flashes. Marni flashes, yes.

Marni 9:31

You want to know some more horror stories?

Dom 9:33

Yeah, this is bitch sesh time. So, okay, Hotties, real quick. What you can expect in our episodes going forward is is we're gonna Marni and I are gonna have our bitch sesh time, sort of a story time. And then Marni's gonna regale us with her expertise and knowledge, and I will also be soaking it up with all of you. And then we're gonna talk about some recommendations that we've either done or used like we just did, and have worked, or things that we've heard of, and we also want to hear hear the same thing from you all. So keep putting your stories, your recommendations, your ideas in the chat while we are talking. Um, but Marni, how about some stories?

Marni 10:19

Okay, so hot flashes. Um, I started to talk about this and we went into like, you know, the the booth thing. Um I have I started having hot flashes when I weaned my kiddo. And I, you know, the the hormones after you and and for those of you who don't have kids or are not planning to have kids, this is what happens. Um, when you if you decide to breastfeed, fed is best, however you feed them is fine. Um, but if you decide to breastfeed, your hormones do a number on your body. And then when you stop breastfeeding, all your hormones go, wait a minute, I'm trying to find homeostasis. And so at the time I was 44 and my body just decided to go into full perimenopause. And so I would all of a sudden I'd be like, Is it hot in here? And then my husband would be like, No, it's just you. So like I would just be sweating, sweating, sweating, and everybody else would be in t-shirts. I have pictures of myself, and it gets particularly bad when I have an anxiety, when I'm having anxiety or I'm having um like effort. Like if I'm I've got a bunch of stuff that I'm like carrying into my house and I'm also hurrying trying to do something else, it's like my body goes, Oh, wait, you need some extra energy. And I just was like, um helpful. So I have I have um pictures and videos of myself in the snow in a tank top because there is it it's just there is no reason that I should have more clothing on than that. My entire body is just like ramped up to 11 and and just sweating, sweating, sweating. Um, my favorite one of those is when I was in New York City. Um, I was about to go to McMillan to record a book. And uh, if you've ever lived in or been to New York City in the winter time, the subway stations are heated like it is summer in hell. I stopped wearing turtlenecks altogether. Um, and if you have any kind of jacket on with which to get rid of the um the cold, the the winter chill, and you go into the subway, it is just like instant. Uh it it's it's horrible and awful and disgusting. So I was walking down the street to McMillan, and it is 32 degrees outside. I am in this very shirt, it says Mighty on it, in this very shirt, walking down the street in New York City. You will notice that it has short sleeves, and this woman walked by me, and I'm carrying my coat. I've got a backpack on, and she goes, put a coat on. I yelled back. I know. I was like, I she must have been like in her 30s or something, and it was like I yelled back, when you're 50, you'll understand. That's a much nicer response than I would have given. I know. I like at the moment I was not having a perimenopausal rage moment because that's certainly that's gonna be a whole episode in and of itself. But that particular one, it was just it was a whole season of my life for four years where I just could not get cold.

Dom 13:44

Oh my god.

Marni 13:44

And my whole life up to that point, I had always been the one that was like, I had on layers and I was freezing all the time. Um, like my husband would be like, get your your freezing toes off my ankles because like you know, I would need some heat. And and I just couldn't get cold. And I will tell you that it does get better on this side. I still have the hot flashes, but they are they are solely effort-based now. So, like, if I am rushing to catch a train, or if I um am trying to get um like my stuff together to get my kid out to a place where they need to go, it is always um it's always based on that, my body going, you need extra energy, let me help. And I'm like, I don't need your help, please stop that. Um, and then I bring out the ice fest and so yeah.

Dom 14:41

So, so for those four years, were they were you having a fl hot flash, but then your body would return to a normal temperature, or were you would you say you were like consistently running hot and then sometimes would like get hotter?

Marni 15:00

Yeah, that that I was consistently running hot, like I I thought I would never be cold again, truly. That's that's where I am. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, you're right where I was there. Like it it was I never yeah, I'm never gonna wear another hot uh turtleneck, not ever. I I don't even wear necklaces because they make me hot. Like the there's that you know ice ice cube necklace we were talking about um in last one or the or the episode before that maybe that would be okay, but I have a feeling I wouldn't I wouldn't like it. Yeah, just anything right around here.

Dom 15:39

Um we can we should talk more about that and when we talk about like our recommendations in a little bit too.

Marni 15:46

Yes, 100%. So why don't you tell us about your hot flash horror stories?

Dom 15:52

Uh my hot flash horror stories will be a series of short vignettes. My first one actually begins with Marni. As all good stories do. My first and second one, actually. So uh in episode one, I talked I talked about this more extensively, but I'm gonna talk a little bit uh more broadly, but now I'm just gonna talk about the hot flash in particular. But three years ago, I met Marni for the first time at an industry event in Ohio, and we were all at a dinner for the very the very first night. A whole bunch of us just all ended up at the same restaurant, like 30 people, this poor restaurant. And I started to just pour sweat, and I'm looking around and I am asking people, I'm like, Are you guys really hot? And a couple people are like, I'm they're like, it's toasty, but the AC is on, I'm okay. And I'm like, I am dripping in sweat. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And I go over and I sit down over at Marni's table to say hi to you and the group. And I'm like, guys, I'm so, I'm so sweaty. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening. And Marni goes, I think you're having a hot flash. And we Marni start talking to me about Perry Menopause, handed me her fan that she had in her purse, and I was just like, I'm seeing some stuff about that on social media.

Marni 17:25

It's this mysterious thing that nobody talks about.

Dom 17:28

And then the following month I went and asked my OBGYN about it. And if you want to hear about that fucking awful story, you can listen to the last ep the first episode of this podcast. Um, but then my uh second hot flash story again includes Marni rescuing me, which was in New York City this past March. And I can agree, I also walked around New York City this past March. I'm I am there maybe once a year without a jacket on 99% of the time. And I was like, am I just a Mainer or am I just in perimenopause or both? So but there was an event in New York that Marni and I were both at. Again, small room, it was toasty in there, but I'm soaked in sweat. And I was performing, and so I'm also dressed cute. I'm wearing a cashmere sweater like a fucking idiot, um, with nothing underneath it. And Marni's Marni sees me like in a corner, just dying by myself, hoping nobody talks to me because I'm so sweaty. And she clips her little battery-operated fan onto my bra strap. And I go and I sit down just to like let it dry me off before I had to go beyond camera in front of a bunch of people who could potentially give me a job. So, story number three. This past weekend, another industry event. Wow, all of my hot flashes are stories or have to do with industry events. I went to anxiety too. Go ahead. Probably anxiety. Also, I consistently run hot. I can't remember the last time I was cold. I don't remember. I have a photo of me snowshoeing in Mount Hood in Oregon with no pants on. There was no one around. I was hot. I was that's hysterical. Um and so past this past event, this past weekend, it was a chillier day in Maine. A lot of people from out of state came, they're all bundled up. Bundled up, in my opinion, for a New Englander, I should say. I get in the water. I'm wearing shorts. I get in the water. I'm like, this feels fucking amazing. I had there was one woman who I I would put money on, has been through menopause in his post. She kept yelling at me the whole event, put some clothes on, you're gonna catch your death of a cold. And I'm like, woman, I'm sweating. Don't I don't need to.

Marni 20:10

No, you may not.

Dom 20:12

No, and because I'm a big fan of like other names for things and nicknames, I did a little Google search and I was like, what are some other things people call hot flashes? Oh my god. And I have a fun little list, but if anybody in the chat also have things that you call hot flashes, I would really love to like have you drop them in the chat. Please do. So the ones that I found were internal inferno, human space heater. Oh my god, my personal volcano. Oh my god. Tropical vacation. That I mean, that's way too nice of a description. Yeah. Body betrayal, more accurate, more accurate, internal combustion makes them think of diarrhea, but I guess that works too. Uh surprise sauna, that feels accurate. Solar flare. Ooh, I like that one. This next one, dragon mode, makes me feel kind of powerful. I love that. Dragon mode. That's fantastic. Oh my gosh. And personal climate change.

Marni 21:20

I love that. I call it my own personal summer. Like, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm having my own personal summer. Like whenever guys look at at me like in a tank top or a t-shirt, and it's like, you know, below zero outside. I'm like, don't even like, don't even talk right now. It's the worst. Power surges. Linda says power surges. Yeah. Yes. Linda, by the way, has written a whole series called, yes. So the Linda's an author. She wrote a whole series called Flashes of Flashes of Insight. It's um the Live Wild mysteries. Her name is Olivia Wilde. She lives wild. And uh And it's flashes of insight, is the first one. And she has um psychic visions when she gets hot flashes and she uses them to solve mysteries. Isn't that Linda? You are my hero.

Dom 22:15

I cannot wait to read these.

Marni 22:17

Yes. And it's Flashes of Insight, Flashes of a Dying Hour, which is about to come out in audio. And I did both of those. And then her third book just came out. All the books, by the way, the the hard copy books, the eyeball books are out. Um, and and the third one's about to come out is Flashes of Fire and Something Else.

Dom 22:34

Oh my God, Linda, these these are the like the fictional stories I feel like we need more of. 100%.

Marni 22:42

Like a superpower. What do you think we're a superpower? And they're all like historical mysteries because she lives in Fredericksburg. And so, like the first one is about um like like finding the old papers of James Monroe, and and the second one is about Edgar Allan Poe, and it's all like has like fire and fury, thank you, fire and fury, brain fog. Um, but she says she didn't have a real a nickname for her half lashes, but she did nickname her moody pyramid of Paul's personality called Grimpigal or Gigi for short.

Dom 23:12

Oh, I like that. I like that it uh it's a lot nicer than what I've given mine, which is Cunty McCunterston. Oh my god.

Marni 23:24

That's hysterical though. And Rebecca's adding it to good rates. Marni did an amazing job narrating the part two things.

Dom 23:30

Um, Hotties, we will we will include links and everything in our show notes as well. So when the podcast comes out next week, keep an eye on that and go to the website for the show notes so you can also find it there. Okay. Marni. Yes, Marni, Marni, Marni. Yes, my darling. What the fuck is happening?

Marni 23:52

Oh my gosh, I love this. So um, so we're calling this section help me auntie M. Um, Auntie M, Antie M. Uh, so so what the fuck is happening? Um, so your body see uh truthfully, I don't think they understand really why we do this because um women have evolved or uh people who are born into female bodies into uh assigned female at birth have evolved to have this whole fertility section and you know, like you're you're getting ready to be fertile and then you're fertile and then you stop being fertile and then you help take care of everybody. Um, but you also lose the fucks to give uh in there as well. So so for hot flashes, your your body, like the the lack of estrogen is like playing fire, pardon, pardon the bun, um, with your internal temper uh internal temperature regulation. And I actually heard a doctor describe one time that they think that when you you stop having periods, the only other thing that your body relates it to is having a baby. And I know. And so that this is what the doctor said anyway. I I am not a doctor. This is what this doctor said. Who knows if it's right or not? But this is what the doctor said. Um, that your body um is used to from the caveman times. If you have a baby, then your body needs to run hotter so that you can protect that baby, like because you would be sleeping all together at night and you would be holding that baby and keeping it warm. Um, that's what that doctor said. Again, who knows if that's true or not? But it I hate that theory. I hate that theory too. It's the the it's the lack of estrogen, and the lack of estrogen is like fucking with your internal temperature regulation. And so, you know, like who who knows? If anybody in the chat like actually knows the that they've come the best things ever she says, grumbling in sarcasm. So yeah, so yeah, it's so your body is going, what the fuck is happening? Um you know, people didn't used to live as long to so who knows why the the whole our body does what it does, right? Um so what else have you heard about hot flashes, by the way?

Dom 26:35

So, okay, here's the thing. I tried to read about hot flashes, and it was a whole lot of science and medical terminology, and I don't have time to look up those definitions. Where do I have the attention span?

Marni 26:57

Oh my gosh. I mean, I I hear you, I hear you.

Dom 27:02

And and and so like, and here's the thing too. It's like what pisses me off is I feel like a huge part of our population goes through this, and yet it feels like our society, at least here in the US, isn't built to support it. Oh god, no. Like, no, not at all. Like whether it's in like actual buildings, clothing, interacting with other people, like general understanding from other human beings. And I know, thank you, Linda. Who does have the time? Just give it to me in layman's terms and tell me what the fuck's happening with my body and how to make it go away. Right, exactly. Apparently it doesn't, it doesn't go away. It I mean, it does go away, but it could take eight fucking years, right?

Marni 27:53

Or 12. Like it can take yeah, it can take up to 12 years, and I'm sorry about that. But like, but as Patricia said in the chat too, not everybody gets hot flashes. That's only the I 41% of women, I think that's that's right. 41% of women actually get hot flashes in their perimenopause and menopause. I would say doctors should help perform us, but they don't even learn about it. Yes, this is the infuriating thing. There's this great video um that somebody put out on TikTok, and uh her name is Tamson, maybe. Oh yeah, Tamson, she's a former news anchor. Yes, and she went around at a at a women's health conference where there were all these female doctors present, and she in she interviewed them all and said, Hey, um, how much how much training did you get on menopause and perimenopause um in your in your medical training? And to a person, they were like zero, a couple of hours, maybe a month, but that was somebody, that was Mary Mary Dr. Mary Claire Haver, who um who specifically did a residency in OBGYN, and that was a month. So many women said I didn't find out about it until I started going through it. And these are doctors. It's fucked. These are it's so fucked. Um uh Dr. Heather Hirsch, who I've mentioned on the podcast before, she has a um, she has a collective now that is starting to help teach doctors about um menopause and perimenopause. Anna says she gets cold flashes. I have never heard that Anna and I didn't realize that. Anna's my sister. I had no idea. I had no idea. A cold so there are over a hundred, um, a hundred different symptoms of menopause and perimenopause, and no two bodies are alike. And women weren't even like female bodies, people assigned female at birth, their bodies, if they were of childbearing age, they were not even included in clinical trials until 1993. Also, 1993. That was like 29 years ago. What did I do that math right? No, I didn't. It was four uh 33 years ago, right?

Dom 30:18

33 years ago. I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm looking like I'm thinking about it, but I'm actually not doing the math in my head. I'm waiting for you to get there.

Marni 30:27

I think it's 33. It's 33. Because I 93, 2003, 2013, uh, 2023 plus three. Yes, 33. Oh, don't ask me to do math right now. I'm gonna have some more wine. We're drinking. Adrian says, I'm the lucky. Oh, speaking of which, we'll get to this in night sweats too. Adrian says she's the lucky 49%. I would get one like clockwork at 11 p.m. and that was it. She says, I'm sorry for all you sweaty hotties. And oh, Anna says our mother gets them too. Cold flashes. I didn't have no idea. Megan says, Mary Claire even said that when she learned about it in school, it was called Crazy Woman Complaining Syndrome or something to that effect.

Dom 31:06

Oh, I remember, I think I heard the same thing, Megala. Yeah, and then earlier on, Linda Linda said her hot flashes never stopped until she started HRT, and you had them for a decade. And I'm sorry.

Marni 31:21

No wonder you wrote those books. Like, you're like, please, can I have something good come out?

Dom 31:25

Were you doing laundry all the time? I feel like it's just my husband and I and two dogs in this house, but I do so much fucking laundry because I get so sweaty. I have I change my clothes at least twice during the day. I have like wardrobe changes because I get so sweaty. Thank God I work from home and I can right?

Marni 31:47

Oh, I feel so bad for people who have to like go in and give a presentation and anxiety plus effort plus you know, no estrogen. And then all of a sudden, like you're giving a presentation in front of a whole bunch of people, and like you know, they they make fun of it in TV shows and movies where it's like all of a sudden, like sweat starts pouring down her face, and she has to take off the jacket and like has on either a tank top or a sleeveless shirt underneath. Um, yeah, so it's just plus caffeine, Adrienne says. Yes. Oh, plus caffeine, that too. That can also trigger hot flashes. And um, and if you drink alcohol, it can also cause hot flashes.

Dom 32:27

I've seen, but like, cheers. Okay, I'm not giving them up though.

Marni 32:32

No, I'm not gonna either.

Dom 32:35

I basically drink once a week here with you. Um Linda says exactly I had to make them useful somehow. So, all right, see, this thing's already melted, it's not even working anymore.

Marni 32:46

You should bring all three.

Dom 32:47

You really should bring all three with you. So, okay, you know what I find annoying too, and please maybe it's just my neuro the neurodivergence of me. But when a hot flash comes over and I'm around other people, I can't help myself but turn to them and go, Are you hot? Yeah, are you hot? Like, I just like it's like this con like I just need this confirmation that either it's hot in the room or my body is experiencing something that's more internal. And so, like, people are like, No, Dom, it's not fucking hot again, it's your body. And I'm just like, okay, well, can you be a little nicer? Yeah, right. Exactly. I know I ask this all the time, but it's really because I'm just like trying to figure out what's happening.

Marni 33:30

Yes. And if they still have ovaries and they're younger than we are, or even if they're older and they haven't started yet, they will likely run into this as well at some point. Um, I did want to mention uh too that like uh did you see the video of the woman who was at like she was at like a football game and it was probably which means it's like you know the steam. The steam coming out, and she has this gorgeous bald head and just steam pouring off her head. I had that happen to me, and of course I have I have hair, but um, we went and saw uh a uh a show on Broadway, which it will come to me soon. Uh Operation Mince Meat. So good.

Dom 34:11

Oh yeah, I saw that too. Wait, were we together?

Marni 34:14

I think we you went with the whole group, right? Yeah, we did that together. Yeah, we did that together. Okay. So when see, brain fog, brain fog snort again. So Operation Mince Meat on Broadway. It's March and it is so freaking cold in New York City. I'm wearing um wearing this beautiful dress that I had made for myself. It's got all of like the titles that I've narrated on it, and we're up in the nosebleed seeds in like the very last section. I had my fan out the entire show. The entire show. And I'm like pouring sweat, pouring sweat. So then when we go out to the sidewalk afterwards, you can see this. I have a video, you can see the steam rising off of my body. And I had a little hand operated fan, like I had this fan and a hand operated electric fan, and like somebody was like holding it on my back down my shirt, down my my dress, and everybody else is like bundled up like this, and I am just pouring steam off of me coming out and seriously going. I and I I do that too. Like, I'm always like, is it just me or is it hot in here? Can we post that video on Instagram? Yes, yes, clip that.

Dom 35:37

Clip that um okay, so hotties, we want to make sure we get to our next thing. So before before we move on to our next chat topic, this next segment is Hotties in Chief recommendations. And so we already gave a couple recommendations at the top of this, but um in terms of hot flashes, Marni, do you have any other recommendations that that you want to give give our friends in the chat and our listeners?

Marni 36:08

Yes. So there is a medication if you are suffering from hot flashes. There's medication we are not sponsored by them called VIOSA. Again, I'm not a doctor, V-E-O-Z-A-H, Vioza. Um, it is a medication for hot flashes, and I was on it for about a year. It really did help. Now, I have to give the caveat that I still had night sweats, and so we'll talk about that in a little bit. Um, but uh in the next episode, we'll talk more about uh night sweats. But um, but VIOSA, ask your doctor if it's right for you. Truly, truly, it is it is remarkable. And there's a new uh medication also that is specifically for hot flashes. Um so if they are like totally um interrupting your sleep, interrupting your life, um, check about that. Now you do have to get your liver checked. I think it's like once a month because it can cause disturbances in your liver. But as long as you're getting your liver checked, um, then you should be okay. So it's it's not for everybody, but um, but if you are a candidate, it really can help. Um, the other thing is making an ice vest, we talk about that. Um, having I always carry two hand fans with me. Not only if one breaks, but also if you run into a friend like Dom at every time at an event, then and and I gotta tell you, like every single time I've whipped out whipped out my fan, we'll whipped it out. Every single time I've whipped out my fan. Uh every single time I've whipped out my fan at an event, uh women or people with ovaries that are again, because because trans men go through this too. Uh, people with ovaries who are in midlife going through it gravitate to me and go, oh my gosh, where did you get that? Um some places that have great hand fans that like if you're um you're like, oh my god, I need one right now. Um, I you know what, I should make a video about this too. You can make them with paint sticks and uh with you know the the things that you used to um to stir paint. The to stir paint. You can line them all up and then drill a hole right down the bottom part. Um it's hard to see in here because the the light's a little straw. Um, but you drill a hole right through it. Oh, there you go. You can see right there. Um, drill a hole through it, and then take a um a paper clip, like a um like a uh a covered paper clip um and put it through there and it holds it steady and then fan it out like this, and then you can glue fabric on it. And you can make your own, and they'll be big and make really satisfying thwap. I've made them for um theaters before. Rebecca, who's in the chat, um, can can attest that. Or actually, she she may not have been uh with the theater at that point when when I made them, but you can make that. Um get yourself a little fan that you can clip onto your bra strap. Like if you clip it to your clothes, it'll weigh down your clothes. Clip it to your bra strap and that'll keep it in place and direct the uh fan right at your uh right at your neck. In uh one of our previous episodes, um, Remy's mama suggested peppermint oil on your pulse points.

Dom 39:37

That I'll imported peppermint oil. I haven't used it yet because I wasn't sure if I could put it directly on my skin or not. You can. You can. Yeah, okay.

Marni 39:47

You can. And I mean, try it's like test a test a little point to see if it's too strong. But like peppermint oil should be fine. Um, just to put a little bit on you.

Dom 39:56

Yeah, okay. And in the chat, uh, Adrian says cold packs on wrists and back of knees. Yeah, my back is the backs of my knees sweat now. Yes. They're like, I'm touching them right now, it's quite wet. Yes.

Marni 40:10

And that's it. That's a temperature regulation point, too. So Adrian's absolutely right. Like on your wrists right here, or run them under cold water. Okay. Or put your wrists in ice if you don't have an ice pack or on just under cold water. If that will help to regulate your body temperature. Um Anna says she carries handkerchiefs with her to wipe her sweat off. I carry I carry little face wipes as well. Yeah. That's perfect. Handkerchiefs are great too, because then that way, like, it's it's not disposable. And uh my doctor who my doctor, who's a researcher, did a study on breath work on hot flashes, and results showed they decreased. But I say get the drugs, Patricia says. Just get the fucking drugs. Just get the drugs. Um, in the summertime, uh, if you have a little um, they sell ice baths now. You can get them at TJ Maxx for like, you know, 20, 30 bucks or something. Uh, they're little inflatable ice ice baths, and you can just like fill it up with ice and water from the hose and just dunk yourself in it. Cold showers, obviously, that's a favorite. Um, jump into a cold pool. Um, if you got a water bottle with ice, hold it between your wrists. That's what Adrian says. Uh, Linda says, I never knew someone in parts of my body could sweat until I had hot flashes. You knew your elbows could sweat, right?

Dom 41:31

It's awful. I'm wet everywhere except for the one place I want to be wet. That's gonna be a different fucking episode.

Marni 41:37

That's a total another episode right there. Yes.

Dom 41:41

Did we say we were gonna swear and talk about things that oh yes, by the way.

Marni 41:45

There is no such thing, by the way, as TMI in this podcast. So no such thing as TMI. We're gonna have all of that. I'm opening up Linda's books, by the way, because I know there is like stuff in in Flashes of Insight where it's like descriptors of a hot flash. And and we were thinking about like reading them in a sexy voice. Um, what are some other uh ice we already talked about ice fests? Um, oh, if you live in an area that has um a shopping mall, just go and do your work at the shopping mall. It's always too cold in there. Um go to uh go see a movie. Just sit in the movie theater because those are always too cold. Yeah. Um perfect for us. Exactly. I mean too cold for the general population, but perfect for a perimenopausal menopausal woman or person, I should say. Um, let's see, what else? What else? How about you, Dom? Do you have any other recommendations that I'm forgetting? I do.

Dom 42:52

I'm in love with my neck fan. Like if I if I could write a love letter to this thing, I would. So I guess I could. I guess it's called an Amazon review. But um that's the love letter, yeah. But okay, so again, I got it from the Evil Empire of Amazon. Um, but it's they have them at five below. You can find them at five below, too. Oh, good. So what I like about this, first of all, it's uh you a rechargeable one. Um, so I can charge it with my same charger as my my iPad, and you wear it around your neck, and if you kind of like wiggle it, it'll adjust to the size of your neck. And then you push this button on the side here, and then it blows the air through these vents all the way around your neck, up into here, and there's three levels, and it's not hot air. I don't know what magic is happening in this, it's not as cool as an AC, but it's cool air that is blowing up onto my neck. And so literally, I get up in the morning, I walk my dogs, and this fucker goes right on my neck and it stays there. Till I have to charge it or get in the booth where I can't wear it, obviously. Um I also carry a fan. It broke, but I gotta fix it. It's my little, it's my Filipino fan. Um I carry this with me in my purse at all times. Um, I recently discovered merino wool undies. Um tell us about that. So I know not everybody can wear wool. And merino wool, like, first of all, I've always been a believer of merino wool even in warm temperatures. I'm a former rock climber. It's what we would wear in the mountains um because it is temperature regulating. Um and also it doesn't get stinky. I know there's a word for it, my anti-my something microbial. My antimicrobial. Um, and it's great and it's breathable. So and it's perfect for all temperatures. And I never really thought about wearing it as underpants, but you know, Instagram served me an ad, and I'm like, well, I'll give this a fucking try. I'll try anything because the doctors aren't helping. Right. Um, and it does like it is, I wear merino bras and merino underpants, and I mean it doesn't stop the sweating, but shit breathes a little bit better. You know what I mean? Yeah. Um, and also I only wear natural fiber clothing anymore, like a little bougie bee. Uh, so 100% cotton, linen is really all I can wear. And I've also, we mentioned this in the first episode where you know, all of our fucks have disappeared. Um, I now have absolutely no problem telling people to turn on the AC, turn up the AC. My husband sleeps with an extra blanket at night, and we started using that AC back in April. Yes, adopt the electricity bill, but guess what? My attitude is way more important than that. Yeah, 100%. And like I'll contribute. Also, if you get in my car and you touch the AC, I will leave you on the side of the road.

Marni 46:05

In the wintertime, I have all the windows down.

Dom 46:08

Yeah, me too. Oh, and I also will not hesitate. If I am someplace that I do not absolutely have to be, and it's too hot, I'm gonna leave. Yeah, I'm just gonna leave.

Marni 46:20

Yeah. If it's too hot, there's no reason to stay, honestly.

Dom 46:24

I was like, why would he sacrifice I'm done sacrificing my comfort for other people?

Marni 46:29

The estrogen goes, the fucks go. It's like a complete gone. Um, when we get to the uh the episode about night sweats, um, we'll talk about cooling sheets and cooling blankets, but I have an ice blanket. It's not like it doesn't include ice, it is uh magical. And during the day, if I'm having a hot flash, I will go and just like put my face on the ice blanket or put it around my neck. Um or like just hold it in my arms. I don't know what fairy magic this is made out of, but it is always cold. And so like I highly, highly recommend it. Anna says neck fans are the best. I never leave home without mine.

Dom 47:13

Yeah, isn't it so nice, Anna? All right, I'm just saying this out loud here that we need to remember to make all the put all these links in our show notes because these are some good recommendations, and also Hotties, please keep putting your recommendations in the chat because we want them for ourselves. We want to share them to to our other listeners because this is how we help each other.

Marni 47:34

Yes, Linda says I think dual temperature controls in cars should be required for people in midlife. It's a marriage saver. You want to be warm over there, fine, but it's gonna be winter over here. Yep. I know that we do need to uh to move on um because we have we could talk about this all day long. And please, if you're listening to this later, please leave your recommendations in the comments. Please leave your recommendations um uh on the show notes. Send us your worst hot flash story in the fan mail on our website, which is bitchesinheatpodcast.com. Make sure you put the podcast in there. Bitchesinheatpodcast.com. You can send us an audio message and we can uh we can play it on air and and share it with everybody because we need to share our stories. Yes, we do. Otherwise you're suffering in silence and you don't know that we're all having the same experiences here.

Dom 48:32

So yeah. Don't mind me while I'm actually fanning myself right now.

Marni 48:38

The only reason that I am comfortable is the door is open and there's a fan out there that is blowing directly on me. And I also in my booth, I have this little thing. Vornado makes this, and you know how amazing Vornado is? It's got like, you know, I've I've I've got the little on and off thing here, so I know, but like I can put it right on me. Um, of course, it makes my my uh it makes my um my display click off when I short it off. So I don't do it that much, but I can often have this on me like in the middle of when I'm doing other things. So um do you have any books or articles or blogs that uh you want to recommend for for this particular um topic? No. I will give another plug for Heather Hirsch's uh Unlock Your Menopause Type. Um, I was lucky enough to be the the director on her audiobook. She narrated the audiobook herself. Unlock your menopause type, it goes through all the different um symptoms of menopause and perimenopause. And there are different types that tend to go together. Um, so if you are having more trouble with hot flashes, there is a section on that. If you're having more trouble with something else, there's a section on that. But there's also an a la carte menu. So it's like, I don't have any of this, but my ears are itching like crazy. There's there's a section on that and things that you can do. So unlock your mountain plus type by Dr. Heather Hirsch. Um, we'll put that in the show notes for this so you know where to get it. All right. So, special thanks to our editor, John Detty. Yay, John! Yay. And uh to our hotties in the chat.

Dom 50:26

Thank you for joining us.

Marni 50:28

Yes. Um, so until next time, talk to each other

Marni 50:33 Marni 50:33 Marni 50:33

because no one else is going to. Bitches in Heat Podcast is a co-production of Marni Penning Narration LLC and Dom Salvacion. Dom and Marni are not medical professionals, and their advice should not be construed as such. They're just a couple of middle-aged hotties bitching about perimenopause and everything that surrounds it. If you'd like to join us for a live recording, you can become a supporter of the podcast at bitchesinheatpodcast.com. Make sure you add the word podcast or you won't reach us. The other is a very different website. Also make sure to check out our hotties merch at bitchesinheatpodcast.myshopify.com. If you have a suggestion for a future podcast, write to us at bitchesinheatpodcast at gmail.com or visit our website, bitchesinheatpodcast.com, to send us some fan mail. Please note that no part of this audio may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems. Copyright2026, all rights reserved.