Bitching About Night Sweats

Marni and Dom, your new sweary besties are here to bitch about all things perimenopause and menopause with you!

On today's bitch session, they're bitching all about one of the top symptoms most folx with ovaries experience while going through perimenopause: NIGHT SWEATS - what they feel like, why we hate them, how we get through them, and our recs for what might work for you, too.

Grab a beverage, besties, and let's start bitching!

Transcript

Marni 0:01

Welcome everyone to Bitches in Heat, a podcast where middle-aged hotties bitch about parimetaphors, metaphors, and the shit that surrounds it.

Dom 0:10

Also, hotties, there will be swearing. So maybe wear headphones or go in a different room if you've got kiddos and sensitive ears. But do grab a glass of your favorite beverage besties. I'm Marnie. I'm Dom. And today we are bitching about night sweats.

Marni 0:29

And just to be clear, we are not medical professionals, and our advice should not be construed as such.

Dom 0:34

So if you have any medical questions, go see your OBGYN or even better, your menopause specialist, and tell them we sent you.

Marni 0:43

Yes. And now we are gonna start in with our very first uh let's see, night sweats. Um night sweats are I have a uh TikTok called Perimenopause P-A-W-S, and it's where I talk to dogs about women's health because sometimes it's easier to talk to a dog. And so I described night sweats as taking a bath given by a massive dog, like being licked all over by a huge dog and then or running a marathon in your sleep. Yeah. Um, it is the absolute worst. So we start off our podcast with our bitch sesh. And so I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you a story.

Dom 1:40

Tell me the story, LTM.

Marni 1:44

Um, so I used to uh I started sleeping in my basement because the air conditioning is much better down here because we all know heat rises. Um, and I have a bed in my office, which is in the basement, which is where I am right now. Because I would sweat through all my clothing, I would sweat through all of the blankets and the sheets, and I would just wake up drenched in a pool like someone had done the ice bucket challenge, but with boiling water all over me in the middle of the night. And I did not want to wake up my husband, and I was like, seriously, when I was in the middle of it, um, I was just like, you know what? I cannot even deal with this right now. I have I have no estrogen and no fucks left to give. And so I would just like wake up in the middle of the night, take all of my clothing off, like change the sheet, and then go back to sleep.

unknown 2:48

That's the word.

Marni 2:50

It was awful. In the middle of all of it. And I was taking medication for my hot flashes. It's a medication called Viosa, which really worked for my hot flashes, but unfortunately did not work for my night sweats. And as a matter of fact, it felt like it made them even worse. So while I was getting relief during the day, I was still waking up like in a pool of sweat. Um, so also when I have wine, my night sweats are wicked. And it that still happens.

Dom 3:21

It's so you're still now that you're in post, you're still getting night sweats.

Marni 3:25

Yeah. For those of you who are just joining us who are haven't seen this podcast before or heard this podcast before, um, I went through my menopause transition uh from 44 to 49. I had my last period at age 48. I was the first one of all my friends to go through it. Um, and I uh and at 49 was the year anniversary of my last period, which is the actual menopause day. Um, but for four years and beyond, I um I had to get cooling pajamas and cooling sheets and a cooling pillow and a cooling blanket. And I was still uh my body was still hot, but at least it gave me a little bit of relief. So what about you with your your night sweats?

Dom 4:14

So, like when I first my night sweats came on around the same time as hot flashes, but what was confusing for me at first was I've been on a Cetalium, which is the generic form of Lexapro, on NAW for the last decade. And every time I've either been ramping up onto it or coming off of it, one of the side effects I would get would be night sweats. And so when my night sweats first started, I had also just weaned off of Lexapro. And so, but so at the time, which is it was very confusing for me, and this that's also why I didn't immediately think, oh, could something hormonally be happening? Because I was like, oh, it's because I'm coming off of an SSRI. Um but then they didn't stop. And and and it would be the same thing where I would I would wake up in the middle of the night, I will have completely soaked through the sheets, the bottom sheet, the top sheet, full on, just soaking wet, pillow disgusting. And then I'd have to go, and I didn't want to wake my husband up, so I'd go get a beach towel and put it underneath me and change my my pillowcase and sleep, then go back to sleep with a towel on me. And uh I sleep in the nude, so there were no there were no DMEs to be changing.

Marni 5:43

Yeah, yeah. That's that's the best way to do it. And sometimes I just can't I can't do that.

Dom 5:48

So but like I think I'm not sure anything feels grosser. Well, I'm sure there's lots of things that feel grosser, but at in this moment, the feeling of when you're supposed to be comfy, cozy in bed, but instead you are feeling that bead of sweat dripping between your boobs. Like that, it's like it feels it sucks to be sweaty all everywhere because you're sweaty everywhere. But for some odd reason, it is that pool of sweat that happens between my F cups that makes that like that's what I'm just like, oh my god. It's just it just the most uncomfortable piece of this for me is that that pool that happens there.

Marni 6:32

Yes, and um under the boobs. I have to like have pull my sh my sheets up and like tuck them under my boobs.

Dom 6:39

Yes, and so here's the other thing, too. So my my sweet husband, who actually does do research and tries to help me, he for my birthday last year bought me one of those blankets that like it pumps cool air into the blanket so it looks like a comforter, but it's cold air that's in the blanket. It's genius, it's cold. Here's the fucking problem though I need the air to be cold and have a warm blanket on me to be able to sleep.

Marni 7:10

Gotcha.

Dom 7:11

Do you know what I mean?

Marni 7:12

Like I totally know what you mean.

Dom 7:13

Yeah, it's like I need the it's I need the comfy, cozy feeling to sleep, and my sleep's been fucked since before I turned 40, not just because of the night sweats, but the night sweats have definitely contributed to it. Yeah, but I also I don't sleep well if I can't have a cozy blanket on me.

Marni 7:33

Yes, yes, I actually have a cooling um weighted blanket, they do make them. I have a weighted blanket too, but it's not so find a cooling weighted blanket. And Adrian, I know who is in the chat, does this too. Um, I sleep with one leg out and one arm out. Okay, so like it actually cools down those parts of my body, but I still get the comfy coziness with the thing. And and I also, this is so silly, but I put on um a cooling pillow, I put it on my head. So like it's Adrian is just typing this. Ta-da! So see, we're I need to very I need to find this, yes. So cooling pillow. Oh, Patricia also says it's awful when your legs are slippery gross.

Dom 8:25

Yes, it is. My legs are actually currently slippery gross, but like for other reasons, but it's so it's so nasty. I can't wear it's not comfy cozy. How are you supposed to sleep when you feel like that?

Marni 8:38

No, did you know that like you the the ideal temperature for sleeping is actually 68 degrees?

Dom 8:45

That seems too hot.

Marni 8:49

That's awesome. I love that. Oh my gosh. My my hubby is like, oh my gosh, it's so cold. And I'm like, no, it is not, it really isn't. It really is not. You need to like you put on some more blankets, and I'll take all my blankets off.

Dom 9:07

Yeah, Ian Ian literally has an extra comforter on his side to sleep on.

Marni 9:13

The the split comforters that they do in like, what is that, like uh Holland or something?

Dom 9:18

Is it one of one of the Norwegian? One of the Norwegian things. Um, it's uh it's we don't do the split comforter thing. It's more like we have we have still one sheet and one light blanket, but then he also has his own comforter on top of that.

Marni 9:37

So yes, that too, that too. But like the the split comforter is such a huge uh savor. Germany and Switzerland too, Adrian says that they do this. So like each person has their own comforter, so you don't have the problem of like I'm taking all the blankets or you're you're taking all the blankets. Um, you each have your own. And then that way, if you need it on or you need it off, you don't you're the other person is sleeping fine, and then you know, there's also something to be said for separate beds. I mean, you know, it's like especially when you're in the middle of menopause and perimenopause, like it just any touch of another person, um, and I I feel bad about it, but it's like it's like if you put your hand here on the back of my neck or on my shoulder, it gets hot immediately and it's like radiating heat from there. And I'm like, please, I love you. Please don't touch me. Um, and it has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with your own body temperature. So there's nothing wrong with separate beds. As a matter of fact, like, like if you are not in the mood for cuddling, there it like why why would you even why would you even bother? I'm I'm I'm all for separate beds if you're in the middle of night sweats and hot flashes, because then you're not, you know.

Dom 11:01

I mean, who also like for them, whoever's sleeping next to you in the bed, who wants to cuddle a slippery, wet body? I know I don't. It's like if the person next to me, if my husband was like wet and slimy, I'd be like, get the fuck away from me. And you're asleep. You're asleep. You're not gonna miss me.

Marni 11:24

You're like, you're totally asleep. So there, yeah, there's something to be said for like and plus also, let's be real. Like, like, sex doesn't always happen in the bedroom. So, you know, and it's more fun sometimes. Uh, honestly, Patricia says separate beds is magical. I don't want my husband on the other side of the bed. I prefer to mine too. I love him. I love him. He snores like I can hear him. I used to have my my studio upstairs um on the opposite side from our our room, and I would record in the middle of the night and I would have to stop recording because I could hear him through three walls and two doors. Stop. It was it, yeah, it's so sexy.

Dom 12:13

I will, if my husband is snoring, I will sit up in bed and I will like shake his pillow until he wakes up. And he's like, then he's like, What what the hell? What the fuck? What's wrong? And I'm like, you're snoring. He's like, okay. And I'm like, shut the fuck up.

Marni 12:30

You're canceling headphones. You're canceling like uh noise canceling headphones, not you're canceling, noise canceling headphones are awesome. Like, especially the in-ear small ones that you can actually sleep on.

Dom 12:43

I was just saying, like sometimes I sleep on my side.

Marni 12:45

Oh, I sleep on my side every day. Like I can only sleep on this side of my of my body. But like if you put a noise canceling headphone in the top ear, and then like you've got like a good, you can also put like one of those um foamy uh oh yeah, we have those. Yeah. Uh what's the word for that?

Dom 13:06

You know, the foamy thing that sticks in your ear. The foamy thing you put in your ear. I don't know. You like you twist, you twist the end of it and then you shove it in. And then when you take it out, earplugs. You're slightly ashamed by the little bit of wax that's on the end of it, and you realize you didn't clean your ear. Is that just me?

Marni 13:22

I would that yeah, for sure. No, no, no, for sure. That's yeah, earplugs is the word I was looking for. The foamy thing that goes in your ear, you know. Oh my god.

Dom 13:33

So so Marnie, like, do we I feel like I I feel like I read somewhere that hot flashes and night sweats, it's the same physiologically, it's the same thing that's happening in your body. It's just one is happening during the day and one is happening when you sleep. And sometimes, sometimes we get one, but not the other. Some of us unfortunately get both.

Marni 13:58

Yeah.

Dom 13:59

Um, but do we know anything else about why the fuck we're all soaking through our sheets and sleeping on towels? Nobody knows.

Marni 14:10

I truthfully, I think they know as much about hot flashes and and Adrian's earplugs, Marty earplugs. Truthfully, they know as much about night sweats and hot flashes as they do uh about women's bodies in general. Because they don't, they haven't studied us. Yeah, and there are other podcasts that are for doctory things. We are not doctors, we are here to bitch about it. So let's bitch about the fact that nobody fucking knows what's happening. Like they there is there is a correlation between the drop in estrogen and the temperature regulation. And other than that, they they really don't, they haven't studied us enough to know. We know that a lot of people get night sweats, we know that a lot of people get hot flashes, but they haven't studied us enough to know.

Dom 14:56

I'm curious if anyone who's been on HRT, if you're in the chat or any listeners who want to send us a message afterwards, if you noticed a change in your night sweats after being on hormone therapy.

Marni 15:10

I would love to know that too. I am not a candidate, unfortunately, because I have blood clotting issues and I had a blood clot in my leg and one in each of my lungs. The dysregulation of the hypothalamus, which is the body's thermostat, says Adrian, who is a teacher. Thank you, Adrian. I'm gonna start calling you Miss Adrian. Miss Adrian. Thank you, Miss Adrian. Yes, the dysregulation of the hypothalamus. I think I've read that before, but my brain just doesn't retain stuff like that. And I was thinking of Nat Barg, Nate Bergatzi, Nate Bergatsi, when he's like, you know, George Washington on Saturday Night Live, and he's like, why would we do that? And he's like, nobody knows. Um so Rebecca says, I'm the Snorr, and I just started using a CPAP machine for my sleep apnea, which got worse because of weight gain, which also gets worse because of perimenopause. Me too. Me too. I am I am in love with my CPAP machine, and my husband should have one, but does not. Can you just like sneak one on him? I know, right? I wish I could be like, you know, but he he totally should have one and he doesn't. And I wonder if he's like, oh no, I don't want to look not sexy with that mask on my face. But you know what?

Dom 16:24

You already don't look sexy when you're snoring.

Marni 16:25

When you're snoring, it's like there's nothing hot. But yeah, and and CPAPs are great for that. Great for that. Um, Rebecca, I don't know if you do this too, but like I am a mouth open sleeper. And uh we've talked about on the podcast how the Koreans are so far ahead of everybody else in their um in their skincare. Um, they at this little Korean market near uh where I live, they have a little packet of mouth tape. Oh, I've heard of this. And it it's like you just like put it right in the center so that it doesn't feel like you're, you know, you're being taken prisoner. And you put it right in the center of your lips so that it keeps your mouth from going, ah, you know, and then you don't get um dry mouth during the night. Um, especially like if you are using your CPAP, your mouth can get very dry because it's like it's forcing, you know, forced air in and out, and is amazing for the amount of uh good sleep that you get. I always sleep so much better when I have my CPAP on. But um, you can also get medical tape. They have a new CPAP version that goes into your nostrils. And Patricia, I did try that, but because my mouth falls open, um, it wouldn't, it doesn't work because when I when I open my mouth, the air just goes in here and then comes out of my mouth. And so it's like it doesn't work. But I did try it. I did try it. If you are the type of person who can sleep with your mouth like fully closed, and maybe you know, like I couldn't tape all the way across my mouth because then with the thing in my nose and my mouth taped shut, I felt like I was being uh suffocated. But they do have that. So if that's not an issue for you, if you do keep your mouth closed when you sleep, the CPAP version that goes into your nostrils, they do they have a chin strap too. My dad has the tin the chin strap, he has the one for the nostrils, and he has a chin strap, which is supposed to keep your mouth closed and doesn't always. So then you're like and it's very funny, but um, but the CPAPs are amazing, and we are gonna the next episode is about weight gain. So, Rebecca, we can talk about that too about like the weight gain, perimenopause to weight gain to sleep apnea to snoring to a CPAP, which is amazing.

Dom 18:56

So I feel like this has been a bit of a natural segue into recommendations when it comes to night sweats and products that any of us have used or methods that help us with night sweats. It sounds like unless you're potential un unless we learn that HRT can potentially help with night sweats, or there's some other medical magical medication that helps with it, we're not gonna make them go away. So, what are the things that help us when they happen? And I mean, like for me, same with clothing, all of my sheets are a hundred percent cotton. I got rid of that fancy plush down comforter with the cute duvet on it, and now I just I sleep with like a linen blanket and my sheets and my weighted blanket with my feet sticking out. Yeah. Um, and that AC is on as early in the year as I need it to be on.

Marni 19:54

Yeah.

Dom 19:55

And that is just an expense that we absorb now because it's that or I don't sleep. And windows open in the wintertime as well. Oh, my our windows are open all winter, at least a crack. And I always, I uh we always because we've moved a few times over the last few years, and we always make it so my side of the bed is closest to the window so I can feel the air directly.

Marni 20:19

Yes. I we might have to do that. We might have to to switch sides, honestly, because I am not close to the window. Maybe that's this the uh the solution in the wintertime.

Dom 20:30

We always because then Ian's not getting the cold air, but I'm I'm always getting it because that's what I need. Um, bamboo or eucalyptus fiber sheets, one foot out.

Marni 20:44

That's from Adrian, yeah. And and um they make actual cooling sheets now from this magical fairy uh fibers that I don't know where they come from, some fairy land. Um cooling sheets, cooling pillows. They actually have pillows now with like you can put an ice pack in your pillowcase or in the pillow itself. Yeah. Um, and the pillow that I have here is filled um with with bamboo. Like this is a bamboo cover, it's got bamboo fiber inside it. Um, this one is for my studio, and I keep it on my on my lap so that um I can, you know, keep the gurgles at bay when I'm recording, but also it's cooling. So when I keep this on my on my lap, it sort of like cools my whole my whole uh chest area.

Dom 21:36

Is that also like a sleeping pillow that you can get to sleep on?

Marni 21:40

Yeah, I I I bought a two-pack. And so this one is in my studio and the other one is upstairs in our bedroom.

Dom 21:46

Okay.

Marni 21:47

So yeah, um, bamboo is a great way to go. This is like a it feels like memory foam, but it doesn't it doesn't stay um in the same position.

Dom 21:57

Okay.

Marni 21:58

Um, if you look on TikTok. Um, and I have it, I think I have it in my um, so my my TikTok for myself is the Lady Hamlet, but I'll try and remember to put this on the um the bitches in heat TikTok as well. There is something called an ice blanket. The name of it is the ice blanket. It is so worth the money. It because when I wake up in the morning, I I bunch it up and I put it around my neck. And then I put one arm on it and like put it on my face. If I wake up and I'm hot, that I again, I don't know what magic it's made of, but it keeps cool by itself. That's amazing. Yeah, so the ice blanket. And you can, you know, just Google that as well. Um, I will make sure we put that in the show notes. Um uh what else? So cooling pajamas, if you wear pajamas, um, like I can't have my legs be uh without without fabric on them because the sweat accumulates and I can't, I can't stand that. I can't wear dresses anymore without like bike shorts underneath or um or sh or skirts, like this the slipperiness of your thighs together. I can't do it. So when I sleep, I have to have clothing on my body to catch the sweat, or I or I can't sleep. So I always wear a sleeping bra. I always wear like a fabric on like that uh covers my underarms and my legs, and especially right between my thighs. Interesting. So either that or I'm tucking the the, you know, I've tried to sleep in the nude, and honestly, with the the amount of heat that my body produces, it's just not comfortable anymore.

unknown 23:52

Interesting.

Dom 23:53

It's like I'm the exact opposite. It's like I don't want, I want as little touching me as possible.

Marni 24:00

Yeah, no, I'd get that. I get that. Um, what about you? Any other like uh hottie and chief recommendations for night sweats in particular?

Dom 24:09

Just the just the sh the sheets and the AC and putting my side next to the window as much as I can. Sometimes I will take like a and I I always have a fan directly on me. Um also so I I will because I shower twice a day right now because I get so sweaty.

Marni 24:27

Yeah.

Dom 24:27

And so I will take not a cold but a cool shower in the evening just to sort of bring my body temperature down. That's great and I know I know for some people that would wake them up, but for me, it's actually soothing because I just I'm trying to just bring my my cool water my body temperature down. Um and cold water on the nightstand. So I do usually have water next to me on the nightstand on the nightstand for sips in the middle of the night, but I don't know, maybe putting it in like um a hydro flask or something that will keep colder.

Marni 25:01

This thing right here. Um, I you know, I don't know the oh, it's a Contigo, but it's one of the ones that um it, and again, we're not sponsored by Contigo, um, but it is one of those, look for something that says keeps it cold for 12 to 18 hours or whatever. Fill this with ice and water, and and I put a little bit of lemon juice in it too. Like that helps with digestion as well. So if you if you end up having an upset stomach that helps with digestion, my my nutritionist who I just met with today, um, who said that I could recommend her. So Christina Marie Rogers is her name through Nourish. Uh Nourish is an app where it's like um, and I'll put this in the show notes too, where you uh can meet with a nutritionist and it's covered by your insurance and they don't have to be in your state. And it's like um, so uh so a little bit of lemon juice in the water can help with your digestion as well. So if if what's contributing to your night sweats is that your digestion isn't working properly, um, then having that with the cool water, the ice water on the nightstand can possibly help. Again, we're not doctors. Hashtag not a doctor.

Dom 26:19

Hashtag not a doctor. I mean, okay, so you gals have been are have been amazing in the chat with us already today. So if you have any other recommendations or questions that have to do with night sweats, please please go ahead and drop them in. And even when we move on to weight gain, if we if we see them, we'll we'll still still try to address them.

Marni 26:45

Um, another shout out for books as far as um Dr. Heather Hirsch's book, uh Unlock Your Menopause Type has all different um symptoms of menopause and perimenopause and individual menus for how to help with that. So um we'll put that in the chat as well.

unknown 27:04

Yes.

Dom 27:06

Okay. So special thanks to our editor, John Detty. And to our hotties in the chat. Thank you all for joining us today.

Marni 27:14

And until next time, talk to each other because nobody else is going to. See you next time. Bitches and Heat Podcast is a co-production of Marnie Cunning Narration, LLC, and Dom's Salvation. Dom and Marnie are not medical professionals, and their advice should not be construed as such. They're just a couple of middle-aged hotties bitching about perimenopause and everything that surrounds it. If you'd like to join us for a live recording, you can become a supporter of the podcast at bitchesandheatpodcast.com. Make sure you add the word podcast or you won't reach us. The other is a very different website. Also make sure to check out our hotties merch at bitchesandheatpodcast.myshopify.com. If you have a suggestion for a future podcast, write to us at bitchesinheatpodcast at gmail.com or visit our website, bitchesinheatpodcast.com, to send us some fan mail. Please note that no part of this audio may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems. Copyright 2026, all rights reserved.