5/19/2026 weekly Bible message

Weekly bible message 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Hello, and welcome back to the Lifeline Church Peterstown Podcast. I'm your host, Mark Williams, and I'm here joined by my beautiful wife, Charity, for the fourth episode of our series called Back to the Blueprint. And today we're diving into something that can literally transform your marriage. Respect and honor.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

So today we're going to talk about something every relationship desperately needs. But a lot of couples don't fully understand respect and honor.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Yeah, there's there's it's here and it's here and it's here the thing. We've discovered that most couples are trying uh aren't trying to hurt each other. They're not malicious, they're just speaking different languages. Women usually try to feel loved, and men are trying to feel respected. And when those means needs aren't met, both people end up frustrated and hurt and disconnected.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

You know, we've lived this. There were seasons where we were in the same house raising kids, going to church, but emotionally we were missing each other. And that's why this topic is so important.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

If you're married, engaged, dating, or even hoping to be married one day, this episode's for you. Now let's start with God's word. In Ephesians 5.33, it says, Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. That verse is simple, but it's powerful because it reveals how God wired us differently. Men have got uh men have a deep need for respect. Women have a deep need for love, and that feels like honor.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

And when we ignore those differences, we miss each other completely. We react instead of respond, we defend instead of build up, and over time that creates distance.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah, I'll start with the guys. Um I think a lot of men don't even know how to explain why respect matters so much to us. It just does. It's not about ego, it's not about being boss, the boss, it's it's about value. It's knowing that my wife believes in me even when I'm still figuring things out. Um let's define respect. Respect is admiration, trust, honor expressed in how you speak to him, how you talk about him, and how you respond to his leadership. What disrespect can look like talking down to him like he's one of the kids, public criticism, especially in front of family or friends, um, constant correction or helpful suggestions on everything he does, dismissing his ideas, leadership, or even his feelings. Eye rolling. Size or the infamous, never mind. That's that's that really means you're incompetent.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

I'm really not sure what the tackle was about the eye rolling. But, anyways, we shall move on. I'll really be transparent here with you ladies. There were times I didn't really understand this. I thought I was just being honest or trying to help. Apparently he didn't want my help. But the way I said things came across this tearing mark down. I didn't realize how much, and that hurt him until we started studying this and actually talking about it.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Yeah, and that's the key. Um most of the time it's not intentional, but it still wounds. Um I remember seasons where I would just shut down because I felt nothing. Uh I felt like nothing I did was ever good enough. Uh I'd pull away, uh work more, or just stay quiet. That's a common male response. Now let's uh let's see what respect looks like. Uh speaking with kindness and honor, even when you disagree, encouraging him and celebrating progress, instead of only pointing out what's not done, trusting in his leadership even when it's imperfect, and it will be, uh building him up in public and in private, praying for him and telling him you're proud of him. Wives, when you see and when you show your husband respect, you you give him the fuel he needs to love you better. It's powerful.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

What women need? Honor, love, and action. Now, let's talk to the men about what most women need. It's not just hearing I love you. It's feeling value seeing, safe, and cherish. That's what honor looks like. Let's define honor. Honor is love and action. It's how a man treats his wife, not just what he says. First Peter 3:7 tells husbands to live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

That verse is convicting. God is actually ties how I treat my wife to the effectness effectiveness of my prayers.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Um, what dishonor can look like? Being emotionally distanced or checked out after work, harsh tones or sarcasm, ignoring her emotional needs, or dismissing her feelings. You're overreacting. Lack of effort, stopping the pursuit once you're married, you know, not going on those date nights anymore. Those are important. Choosing phones, hobbies, or work over quality time.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Yeah, I I had to learn this the hard way. Early in marriage, I thought I'm providing, I'm here, I'm faithful. That should be enough. But charity needed more than my presence. She needed more, she needed my attention. She needed to know that she was my priority.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Exactly. I didn't want to just be a part of Mark's life. I wanted to feel important in his life. I needed connection, not just coexistence. What honor looks like. Really listening without trying to fix everything. I know sometimes I have that habit. I try to fix her. And speaking gently. Even when you're tired or you're frustrated, showing appreciation daily. Saying for whatever. Being fully present, no phone during dinner or conversations date nights. Help around the house, protecting her emotionally and spiritually. Affection that doesn't always lead to sex. The disconnect. So here it is. Here's where most people get stuck.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Um she's asking for love, but it comes out sounding like criticism.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

And he's asking for respect, but it comes, but it sounds like distance or silence.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

But we're both trying, but we're missing each other. Just like we missed that line. Yeah. When a man feels disrespected, he tends to withdraw or get angry.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And when a woman feels unloved or dishonored, she tends to push harder. More words, more emotion, more pressure. That creates this crazy cycle. She pushes, he withdraws. She pushes more, he shuts down further. We've been there. Many of you listening have been there too and are probably there now.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

So we're going to talk about breaking the cycle. Um the good news is the cycle can be broken, but it takes intentionality and the power of the Holy Spirit. Um we'll go to Galatians 5, 22 and through 23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

We have to stop reacting in flesh and start responding in spirit. That means choosing respect and honor even when we don't feel like it.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Um it's dying to self. It's saying, even if my spouse is getting uh this right yet, I'm going to obey God.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

And practical steps for the wives. First, pause before you speak, especially when you're emotional. Ask the Holy Spirit to guard your words. Second, choose respect even when you feel hurt. You can say hard things respectfully and pray for your husband daily. Specifically for areas he struggles in. It's huge to pray for your husband. Catch him doing things right and tell him. Affirm his leadership in front of the kids.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

And now for the husbands. Uh lean in. Don't shut down when she's emotional. Stay in the conversation. That is very hard, I know. Uh speak love consistently, words, touch, time, gifts, and service. Show up emotionally and ask her how how she's really doing and listen. Uh pursue her like you did when you were dating. That's very big. I had a hard I have a hard time with that. Yes. Uh lead spiritually. Uh pray with her, read scripture together, make church and small groups non-negotiable. Start small. One change this week can shift the whole atmosphere of your home.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

So um, we've had to learn all of this, like we said, the hard way. Not perfectly, but intentionally. There were nights when we sat on the couch. Here's my dog. Sat on the couch and tears saying, We're missing each other right now.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Uh and instead of fighting to be right, we started fighting for the relationship. We had to apologize, forgive quickly, and choose each other again.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Marriage isn't 50-50. It's a hundred-one hundred.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Both people giving everything God asks of them.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Respect and honor. Aren't automatic. They're intentional choices. We make everything every single day. Um and now the closing truth. Um let's go to Romans 12, verse 10. Love one another with brotherly affection. Um, outdo one another in showing honor.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

When we put each other first, the way God designed, everything starts to change. The home becomes a refuge. Kids see what real love looks like, and God is glorified.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

And it's not about winning arguments, it's about building something that lasts. So let's let's do a prayer. Um, let's do it together. Um, thank you for the gift of marriage. Teach us how to love and respect the way you designed, heal the places where we have hurt each other. Give us humility and apologize, encourage to change. Help us see each other through your eyes and speak life under one another and build strong, godly homes that people to Jesus. In Jesus' name, amen. Um thank you for listening uh to the back to the blueprint. Um if this episode helps you, please share it with another couple and like, comment, and subscribe. Uh gets us out there and helps us help other people. Um join us on Sunday mornings at 11 a.m. at Lifeline Church Peterstown. Or you can catch us um you know live on YouTube or Carla Bragg's Facebook page. Uh we have we have Lifeline Kids every Sunday uh evening at 6.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Um that's the Lifeline Youth every Sunday evening at 6. And kids is that Sunday mornings at 11 and Wednesday evenings at 6.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Okay. And celebrate recovery Friday nights at 5 30. There's also youth group Sunday evenings at 6. Like we said. Yeah. And don't forget Vacation Bible School. That's your baby there. Uh it's coming up June the twenty-second through the twenty-sixth.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Kingdom Secrets.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Yeah, yeah. Uh, we love you and God bless you. Bye, guys. Bye.