8/12/2026 Charity's podcast When you've Prayed and Nothing Changed

How do you keep trusting God when the answer you begged for hasn't come?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Hello. Welcome, friend. I am so glad you're here today. So, as you notice, the scenery is a little different today as I'm in Arizona this week. Had some doctor's appointments, so I'm hanging out here by the pool with you this morning. So, wherever you're listening from today, I pray that when our time together is over, you'll feel just a little closer to Jesus than you do right now. Because every conversation here is really just an invitation to grow a little closer to Him. So grab your coffee, grab your Bible, and if you've got one nearby, and let's talk. So, because today's conversation is for somebody who has prayed and prayed and prayed some more, you've asked other people to pray, you've put it on prayer lists, you've cried over it, maybe you've fasted, you've opened your Bible looking for an answer, you've believed God could do it. Maybe you've even watched God answer the exact prayer that you're praying for somebody else. And yet nothing seems to be changing for you. Maybe you've prayed for healing, maybe it's your marriage, maybe it's your child, maybe it's a financial situation, maybe you're begging God to free you from something you've battled for years. Maybe somebody you love is sick, maybe you're waiting on the phone call, the test result, the opportunity, the reconciliation, the reconciliation, and you're just tired. Not necessarily tired of God, just tired. Tired of asking, you're tired of waiting, tired of getting your hopes up, tired of people telling you, just have faith. Because you want to say, I do have faith. That's why I keep praying. And maybe there's another question underneath all of it. Once one, you haven't wanted to say out loud because it sounds almost wrong. God, I know you can. So why haven't you? Friend, if you've ever thought that, I want you to know something. We're not going to run away from that question today. And I'm not going to give you some neat little Christian answer and a bow tie around something that has broken your heart. Because I don't know why God answers some prayers, and why some prayers just go desperately unanswered, even though some he answers. I don't know why one person receives healing and another continues suffering. I don't know why one marriage is restored and another isn't. I don't know why one door suddenly flies open while somebody else has been knocking for years. There are things about God I simply I don't understand. And I'm learning that faith doesn't require me to pretend otherwise. So today we're not trying to figure out God. We're asking a different question. Can I trust Jesus when I don't understand what he's doing? And maybe even harder, can I still love him when the answer I desperately want hasn't come? Friend, that's where I want to sit with you today. I love that the Bible doesn't hide messy faith. We sometimes do. We know what we're supposed to say. God is good. God's got this. Everything happens for a reason. There may be truth behind some of those statements, but sometimes you're hurting. And saying another Christian phrase, it isn't gonna, it's not what your heart needs. Sometimes your heart is saying, God, where are you? And do you know who else prayed like that? David. Psalm thirteen begins, How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? Wow. David said that to God. How long? Not once. He keeps asking and asking. How long? How long? How long? Have you ever prayed that? How long, God? How long am I going to hurt? How long am I going to wait? How long am I going to watch my child struggle? How long will I keep fighting this? How long before something changes? And here's what I love. God allowed that prayer into Scripture. So he didn't remove it because David sounded insufficiently spiritual. And he wasn't threatened by yours. Friend, don't rush past this. There is a difference between running from God because you're angry and running to God with your anger. David took the question straight to God. Maybe you've been afraid to tell Jesus how you really feel. And though he doesn't already know, as though he doesn't already know, you don't have to clean yourself up before you pray. Prayer can sound like Jesus, I'm tired. I'm angry, I'm disappointed, I don't understand, I'm scared. I thought you were going to answer differently. I'm starting to lose hope, and maybe today Jesus, I don't even know what to say anymore. That's still prayer. And here's what's beautiful about Psalm thirteen. David begins with how long? But later he says, But I trust in your unfailing love. Both things are the same psalm. They're the exact same psalm. Both things can apparently exist inside the same heart. God, I don't understand you right now, and God, I still trust you. Maybe that's where faith begins in an unanswered prayer. Not pretending, just staying. Here's where uh this gets a little bit hard for me because I believe God can. I believe God heals, I believe God restores, I believe God provides, I believe God can open doors nobody else can open. I believe God can change a technosis. I believe God can restore a relationship. I believe God can bring a wondering child home. I believe God can do things that make absolutely no sense on paper. So sometimes the hardest part of an answered prayer isn't wondering whether God is powerful enough. It's knowing He is. If I didn't believe that He could, I wouldn't keep asking Him, right? And that brings us to Daniel 3. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are about to be thrown to a blazing furnace because they refuse to bow to the king's image and listen to their confidence. They essentially tell King Nebuchadnezzar, our God is able to deliver us. They believe he can, but then come three little words that stop me every time. But even if Daniel three eighteen, even if he does not, we're still not bowing. Whoa. Friend, that's faith. They didn't say we know God loves us because he's definitely going to keep us out of that furnace. They said we know he's able. And then even if he doesn't, our decision about God is, who God is, it doesn't change. That's a completely different level of trust. Can I tell you something? I like the God is able part. That's the part I want. God is able. He's going to make a way, he's going to fix it, he's going to open that door, he's going to answer the prayer. Yes and amen. But then there's that second part. Even if he doesn't, even if he doesn't. And I don't particularly like that part because even if requires surrender. And surrender sounds beautiful until God asks me to surrender something I desperately want. Maybe you've been there. God I know you can heal this, but even if I know you can restore this relationship, but even if I know you can change this situation, but even if. Now let me be very clear. Even if does not mean we stop praying. It doesn't mean we stop believing God can perform a miracle. It doesn't mean we become afraid to ask. Ask. Pray boldly. Believe God can. Ask again tomorrow and the next day and the next and the next. Jesus himself taught persistence in prayer. But somewhere underneath the request there has to eventually be something deeper. Jesus, I want this desperately, but I want you more. That's hard to say, because there's a difference between trusting God for an outcome and trusting God. I have to learn that those are not always the same thing. Now let's go to somebody else who's prayed for something to change, Paul. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes what he calls a thorn in the flesh. Hmm. Scripture it doesn't tell us exactly what that is, and I'm actually glad it doesn't, because almost all of us can put something in that blank. The thing you wish were different, the thing you've prayed about, the thing that keeps hurting, the thing you would absolutely remove if God handed you an eraser. Paul says three times I pleaded with the Lord to take this away from me. Notice the word pleaded. Paul wasn't carefully saying, Hey God, if you get a chance, he wanted it gone. And God could have removed it, but God's answer was My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. And sometimes we read that verse so quickly that we miss something. Paul still had the thorn. Grace didn't make that thorn imaginary. Grace didn't make Paul suddenly enjoy it. Grace didn't mean it that it stopped hurting. God gave Paul something different than what Paul requested. He gave him enough grace to live faithfully in the thing that he wanted removed. And friend, I don't always want grace. Sometimes I want that thorn gone. You know what I mean? Can I actually say that? Lord, thank you for the grace, but could we possibly revisit option A? But haven't we all been there? And yet there are places in our lives where Jesus doesn't immediately remove the weakness. Instead, he meets us there. My grace is sufficient. Not tomorrow's grace, not enough grace to understand the next ten years. Grace for today. There's something else I think we need to be careful about. When something hasn't happened yet, we sometimes immediately said God said no. But do we actually know that? Sometimes God's answer may be no. Sometimes it's wait. It's be still and wait. Sometimes he answers completely different than what we expected. Sometimes something changes years later. And sometimes this side of heaven, we simply don't know. I don't know and I don't want to put words in God's mouth just because I'm uncomfortable with uncertainty. Maybe you're still waiting. Then you keep praying. You don't have to declare the story finished because the answer hasn't come yet, but you also don't have to put your entire life on hold waiting for God to do one particular thing. You can follow Jesus while you wait. You can worship while you wait. You can serve while you wait. You can laugh again while you wait. You can experience joy while there is still an unanswered prayer sitting in your heart. That's not giving up on prayer. That's refusing to give your unanswered prayer permission to become your entire life. And then we come to Jesus and the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew twenty six. Jesus knows what's coming across the suffering. And he falls before the Father. I'm talking about Jesus here. He falls before the Father. And he prays, My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Friend, I don't want you driving down the road and missing what Jesus has said. If it is possible, Jesus expressed what he wanted. He didn't pretend. He didn't act like surrender meant he couldn't ask. He asked, take this cup. And then he prayed. Yet not as I will, but as you will. There it goes. There it is again. Surrender. Jesus shows us that surrender isn't pretending you don't care about the outcome. Surrender can say, Father, this is what I want. And then, but I trust you with what happens next. Maybe that's your prayer today. Jesus, I still want healing. I still want my child to come home. I still want restoration. I still want this door to open. I still want you to change this. But I don't want my disappointment to pull me away from you. That's a powerful prayer. Maybe one of the greatest prayers we can ever pray is not my will, but yours. Not mine, but yours. But what happens when you're so tired and you don't even know how to pray? I've had moments when there weren't words. Maybe you have two. And Romans 8 gives us this beautiful promise. Paul says that the spirits help us in the spirit, not spirits. Paul says that the spirit helps us in our weakness because we do not know what we ought to pray for. We do not know what we ought to pray for. I love that scripture admits that. Sometimes we don't know, but the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Friend, even when you've run out of words, heaven hasn't ran out of help. Maybe all you can say is, Jesus, that's enough. Maybe all you can do is cry. He sees you. Psalm 34, 18 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Close, not disappointed in them, not standing at a distance telling them to get more faith. He is close. Sometimes we're so focused on asking God to change the circumstance that we miss the fact that God is meeting us inside it. Please hear me. That doesn't mean the circumstance doesn't matter. It matters. The pain matters, the prayer matters. Keep asking. Don't give up. But while you're waiting for his hand, don't miss his presence. Maybe this is the sentence somebody came here for today. God's silence is not proof of God's absence. God's silence is not proof of God's absence. I know it can feel that way. When you've prayed and nothing happens, silence feels like distance, but feelings aren't always reliable evidence of God's presence. Hebrews 13 5 says, Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. That's a promise. He doesn't say, I'll never let something happen that you don't understand. He doesn't say, I'll answer every prayer according to your timetable. He says, I will not leave you. Maybe that's the miracle you need. Enough grace to recognize today. Not everybody suddenly changed, or not everything suddenly changed, but that somehow you are still here. You've cried, you've questioned, you've gotten angry. Sorry about that. You've gotten angry. You've had bad days when you felt when your faith felt enormous and days it felt microscopic. And yet you're still talking to Jesus. Friend, maybe you've been so focused on the prayer that hasn't been answered that you haven't noticed the prayers God has answered along the way. The strength for one more day. The friend who called exactly at the right moment. The provision that you didn't expect. The scripture that suddenly just jumped right off that page. The peace that made absolutely no sense. The fact that you survived something you once thought would destroy you. Maybe God hasn't answered the prayer because the way you wanted. Maybe he hasn't answered that prayer the way you wanted. But that doesn't mean he hasn't been present. Here's the question underneath everything that we've talked about. Can Jesus still be good when life isn't? That's difficult because sometimes I think accident we've accidentally connected God's goodness to our circumstances. Good things happen. God is good. Prayer gets answered. God is good. We get that job. Oh, God is good. The scan comes back clear. God is good. Yes, absolutely. God is good in all of these moments. But what about when that scan doesn't come back clear? What about when you don't get that job? What about when that relationship ends? What about when someone dies? What about when you're still sick? Is God still good? He has to be. Because if God's goodness changes according to my circumstances, then goodness isn't his character. It's merely my interpretation of what's happened. Scripture tells us his character does not change, and that's where faith becomes incredibly personal. Can I trust who God is when I don't like what God has allowed? I don't say that lightly. There are things I would change. There are chapters I wouldn't have written. There are prayers I would have answered differently if God had handed me the pen. But he didn't. And I am learning slowly that I don't have to understand every chapter to trust the author. Friend, this is where I want to sit beside you for just a minute. Not teach you, not fix you, just sit here. Because maybe you're exhausted. Maybe when I started talking today, you immediately thought of that prayer. You know exactly which one. Maybe you've prayed it hundreds of times. And you're wondering whether you should even keep asking, yes. You keep talking to Jesus, but maybe tonight your prayer it doesn't need to be. God fix everything. Maybe today it's Jesus, keep me close while this still hurts. Maybe it's help me trust you today. Maybe it's give me enough grace for the next hour, the next minute, even the next second, or maybe you've got nothing left except Jesus. I'm still here. Friend, that's a prayer. And I think sometimes we under underestimate the faith contained in those four little words. I'm still here. I don't understand you, but I'm still here. I'm disappointed, I'm hurting, but I'm still here. I'm still praying, I'm still listening, I'm still reaching for you. Maybe faith isn't always shouting from that mountaintop. Sometimes faith is whispering Jesus' name from that floor. And that brings me back to those three words. Even if he doesn't. It's actually four words, but I want the God is able faith. But I also want even if faith. I want to believe God for miracles. I want to pray for in pray enormous prayers. I want to expect God to move, but more than any answer, I want Jesus. And maybe the greatest evidence of faith isn't believing God will do exactly what I'm asking. Maybe it's knowing that He can, asking Him to, and choosing to love Him even when I don't understand His answer. That's where I want to live. God, I know you can, so I'm gonna keep praying. But if your answer looks different than mine, I'm not leaving. If I don't understand, I'm not bowing, if I have to wait, I'm still worshiping. If the thorn remains, your grace will have to be enough. If I'm standing in Gethsemane, I'll tell you exactly what I want and then I'll place it back into your hands because ultimately my hope isn't the answer. My hope is in Jesus, in Jesus alone. And there's one more thing. For the follower of Jesus, no unanswered prayer gets the final word. Revelation twenty one four says that one day there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. One day everything broken will be made right. Every disease, every grief, every loss, every tear, we may not see every answer on this side of eternity. And I know that isn't always the answer our hurting hearts want to hear. We want relief now, but Christianity it doesn't promise us a life without suffering. It promises a Savior who entered into suffering himself and a future where suffering doesn't win. So until that day, we pray, we hope, we ask, we cry, we worship, we wrestle, we trust. We bow before the feet of Jesus, and when we don't understand, we still stay close to Jesus. Father, you know who is listening right now, and you know the prayer they immediately thought about when this conversation began. You know how long they've been praying, how long they've been praying for this thing, God. You know every tear, every disappointment, every moment they've wondered whether you were listening. Father, we still believe you can, so we're asking, heal, restore, provide, bring that child home, open the door, break the chains, make a way where there doesn't seem to be one. We believe that you are able, but Father, when your answer doesn't look like ours, help us trust your heart. When we don't understand your hand, help us remember your character. When we don't have words, thank you that your spirit intercedes for us when our hearts break. Thank you that you come close. When we are weak, remind us that your grace is sufficient. And Jesus, if somebody is listening and barely holding on, hold on to them tight, Lord. Let them know that unanswered prayer does not mean that they are unloved. Silence does not mean you are absent. Waiting does not mean you have forgotten them. Give them enough grace for today, not next year, not next week, today. And teach us to pray with courage. God, I know you can. And teach us to surrender even if you don't answer the way I hope. I still choose you above it all. I don't understand everything, but I am still here. I am still yours. I am still following Jesus. It's in your holy and precious name I pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Friend, before you go, I want you to think about that prayer just one more time. The one thing that you've been carrying, don't give up on it. Don't give up. Bring it back before Jesus. Ask again, but this time maybe open your hands. Jesus, this is what I want. And then, but more than the answer, I want you. And if that's all you can pray today, that's enough. Because you don't have to understand God completely to keep walking with him, you don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt in order to trust him, and you don't have to have enough. You don't have to have every answer before you take another step towards Jesus. Remember, every conversation here is an invitation to come just a little closer to him. So today, questions and all come closer. But maybe faith isn't always having the answer. Sometimes faith is simply saying, Jesus, I'm still here. And friend, he's still there too. I'll talk to you again soon.