Dystopian Drive-In: Lethal Weapon with Kilts/ Braveheart Edition - Pilot REDUX

A Trident Fawn Presentation

From Jason Beard, the mind behind the award nominated audio cinematic podcasts Leo Brawn, Magnetar and Topaz & Stillman... comes your new listening obsession.

Episode 2: "Lethal Weapon with Kilts"

To the listeners:  This is a second dry run and not the finished product.  For a limited time, we're letting you peek behind the curtain to witness the flaws and all.  Indulge in your inner voyeur... while it lasts.

The world has officially ended, but the movie reviews must go on! Welcome to the pilot episode of Dystopian Drive-In, broadcasting to you live from vastly different corners of a massive underground survival bunker. 

Join your host  Jason Beard, his co-host Justin Merritt (who is currently surviving the apocalypse in a plush Montana Airbnb missile silo), and Andy—their aggressively disgruntled, heavily drinking British weather reporter who is dealing with some serious marital debris. 

Just when they think they are the last souls alive, The President of the Republic, Shaun Scott hijacks the airwaves with a direct order from the new Republic: preserve the culture of the former United States by curating the ultimate media vault. Their first mandatory assignment? Mel Gibson’s 1995 sweeping historical epic, Braveheart. 

In this episode, the bunker crew tackles:

• The Visceral Reality of 90s Battle Scenes: How Braveheart laid the muddy, blood-splattered template for everything from Saving Private Ryan to Game of Thrones. 
• Historical Inaccuracies vs. Cinema Magic: Blue face paint, 13th-century kilts, and why Princess Isabella definitely wasn't having a secret romance with William Wallace in real life. 
• The Ultimate Dilemma: Can you separate a masterful film from a notoriously problematic director? 

Does this Oscar-winning classic deserve a permanent spot in humanity's post-apocalyptic vault, or should it be obliterated into the nuclear wasteland? Plus, El Presidente drops a surprise announcement for next week's movie assignment. 

SPOILER ALERT: No horses or Irish Army Reservists were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Host:
Jason Beard
Co-host:
Justin Merritt

Guest Starring:

• Shaun Scott
• Andy Parkiin

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome to Dystopian Drive-In. The world has ended. The date unknown. But from the ash and debris of Bunker 112, two survivors have been tasked by President John Scott to restore human culture. One salvage build. Join your hosts, Jason Beard, and Justin Merritt, as they decide which movies are worthy of humanity and which must be purged forever from existence. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the end of the world. Let's watch a movie and dive into the drive-in.

SPEAKER_08 1:04

Anybody out there? Damn it, I think I'm the last son of a bitch alive.

SPEAKER_06 1:13

It's me. Uh I don't know who that is. Speak, damn you speak! Wow. Super friendly. Uh my name's Justin. Pleased to meet you.

SPEAKER_08 1:23

Yeah, pleased to meet you. What happened? Dude, it's the end of the world. I'm in a bunker. You're in a bunker? Where where are you located, by the way?

SPEAKER_06 1:34

Oh, this is uh place in Montana. It's an old missile silo. Wait, it'd be cooler than I am.

SPEAKER_08 1:39

Hold on, that's where I am. Why does your place look so much better than mine?

SPEAKER_06 1:44

I rented it.

SPEAKER_08 1:45

I don't know. It's got a bathroom, fridge. Nobody, nobody told you they could rent it. I'm in the basement level. You see this shit behind me? None of these computers even work anymore.

SPEAKER_06 1:56

Well, you should come on up sometime. I mean, not right now, because I have to do it.

SPEAKER_08 2:00

I don't even know the access code. I don't even know the access code to get out of here. I'm stuck in here, man.

SPEAKER_06 2:05

Oh. That does suck for you.

SPEAKER_08 2:08

Look, just a quick breakdown. Like, it's the end of the world. We don't know why. All I was told was we had to get to the bunker. And uh I awaken, there's rumbling outside, a bunch of like error signals and you know, alarms and stuff. I come here, I get on my workstation to see if anybody's here. You're the only one that's showing up. Well, that is tragic.

SPEAKER_06 2:32

I just got up and, you know, opened Pornhub and noticed it was offline, and I thought, what the hell's going on? Well, I didn't know it was the end of the world.

SPEAKER_08 2:40

You thought you were just in Florida. I get it. Um so anyway, all right. Uh well, look, I I don't really know where to go with this. I mean, like, what do we do? I guess we get to know each other.

SPEAKER_06 2:51

They say it starts with birds and snakes and airplanes, and you know, it's the end of the world as we know it.

SPEAKER_08 2:57

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't do that. Alright. I I don't I don't want to hear that. No, no, no. It's too cliche, you're right.

SPEAKER_09 3:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 3:04

Way to maybe after we've gotten to know each other a little bit. All right, tell me about yourself. Who are you? What do you do? Or what did you do?

SPEAKER_06 3:12

Well, I was uh uh a boulangerie owner, uh you know, really good baking and phyllo dough making. Uh and I retired and started renting out strange Airbnbs all around the nation. It's just something I do. Because I'm cool. Blangerie? Yeah, you know, it's uh how do I explain this to someone like you? It's like a Dunkin' Donuts, but for people who have taste.

SPEAKER_08 3:44

I okay, got it. Alright. Um I guess we'll never have them as a sponsor. Anyway, um uh let's see. Uh so oh, I guess you want to know about me. Thanks for asking. Um, what did I do? Well, I uh I was uh uh I was an independent filmmaker. Um, you know, I mean it never really got I never what? What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_06 4:07

Uh uh nothing. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_08 4:08

I thought yeah, you can do fancy donut shops, but being an artist is just too much. I see how it is. We're gonna we're not getting off to a great start here, Bob. My mistake. Please proceed. Okay. Anyway, look. It looks like we're gonna be stuck in here for a while until somebody can help us out.

SPEAKER_06 4:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 4:26

I don't even know if we can go outside, all right, without a hazmat suit or something. So if you don't mind, I'm gonna check the weather here. We have an assigned weatherman as part of this bunker. At least we have a feed to it or something. Let's see.

SPEAKER_07 4:40

Alright, uh to learn. Hey, uh Bunker112, is that you? What? Bunker112, is that you? This is Jason. Have you got my wife? Is she with you? No, no.

SPEAKER_04 4:57

No, there's nobody here. I'm stuck in the base chat. She went off with the guy in the other bunker because apparently he had better audites. Fuck you, Sheila, you ranson cunt.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

Whoa, is me?

SPEAKER_07 5:12

What do you want?

SPEAKER_08 5:13

Alright, look. Hey, listen. Do you have a weather update? You're aware that the world has ended. You're worried about Sheila, but literally the world as we know it, is over. You can't.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

Weather forecast! Yeah, I'll give you weather forecast. It's 40% chance of questionable ash falling from the sky, and 85% chance of completely fucked.

SPEAKER_08 5:38

God. That is not that promising. No, I guess that means we can't go outside. Alright, Andy. Well, look.

SPEAKER_06 5:45

Um I assume I just gotta finish writing my review. No access to pool.

SPEAKER_08 5:51

Yeah. Yeah. Listen, Andy, um, my name's Jason. Uh the other guy with me here is Justin. We're in underground bunker 117. Um, were you a meteorologist or a weather guy?

SPEAKER_05 6:10

It's it's been bad. You know, outside's fucking terrible. And Sheila left me.

SPEAKER_06 6:18

And dude, I think we have bigger things to worry about right now. I'll tell you one thing. Sheila's a great gal. Wait a minute. Or she was Sheila? Well, everybody up here knows Sheila. But she's no. Listen, it's not what you're thinking. She's dead, so don't worry about it. Oh, uh I probably should have let your next of kin tell you that, but what's done is done.

SPEAKER_08 6:50

Yeah. Sorry about that, dude. I don't think there's any next of kin at this point.

SPEAKER_09 6:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 6:56

Uh, well, at least we all got a run of Sheila, right? I5. Yeah. Poor bastard that was married to her. Oh, that was you. Uh, drink up, pal. Alright, listen. Um, I'm gonna uh do you have any like real substantive weather updates? Besides Sheila's a cunt and it's bad outside. Anything we can work with?

SPEAKER_03 7:22

I've been trying to shake the debris off of the lens by wiggling the camera around, but it's mostly blocked. I've got a small window and it just looks fucking terrible. I I can't tell if it's raining or ash. Shaking it in both directions. Right at your face. I've been trying to manipulate it in a good way and it's just not working. Happens to all of us.

SPEAKER_08 7:47

Alright, if we can stop with the uh hand gestures for a moment. I th I I I might be wrong about this, but I think we're getting uh there's an incoming signal coming from President Scott?

SPEAKER_02 7:59

No, I didn't vote for him. Connie, listen, I just need to understand if this is presidential. No, no, no, no, no. I know. I know it's not the suit, but I understand that the troops wear these, and I I wanted to look more like, you know, like I'm supportive of our warfighters. And and ah gentlemen, welcome. This is I, Sean Scott, the president of the uh uh of the um, we'll just call it the Republic for now. Um it is a pleasure to no, actually, it's not a pleasure at all. It's pretty grim out there. Um I just want to convey the sadness of a nation towards all of you survivors who are still out there, still scrapping, still surviving, still making do. And for you gentlemen in particular who are listening to me right now, I want to give the thanks of a grateful nation. Because you have volunteered what? Connie, I'm getting to that. Do you mind? You know, you could have been the first lady, but you're the first, maybe. Okay? Thank you. She's really nice, I promise. I think Sheila and Connie were friends. So, my my fellow Republican no, nope, nope. My fellow survivors, I just want to extend to you that we are here. That your government still survived. It is still thriving deep on the ground in bunkers much better than yours. And we are going to get through this. But for you, I have a mission. I understand your background, and I need you to support your nation in the rebuilding process and the preservation of our culture. You are the curators, and you are housed in a very special vault. This vault is to preserve the culture of the former United States of America. And we will not talk about what it is today with the invasion. What? I didn't say the word invasion. I didn't say that. I understand. No, but I didn't say it. Okay? All right then. Thank you. Can I be the president now? Thank you, Donnie. All right. So I did not say invasion. I did not say that at all. What I am saying is that you have a mission, and your mission is to review all available media, mostly film media, to make sure and to assess whether or not that media should be carried forward into our future. Think of our children and our children's children and our much deformed children's children's children. And think about what they may want to see and learn about our culture and the way it was when we were alive. Okay? So that's your mission.

SPEAKER_08 10:42

Well, Mr. President, I just have to say what an honor it is. And you have made an excellent selection. As you may or may not know, I'm a filmmaker.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Well, the honor is all yours, I promise you. And it's good to know that you are a filmmaker that confirms the information that we had gathered on you in secret. So thank you for confirming that out loud. Now, what we need is for you to rally behind this new entity that we're calling the republic. And we have to be very careful. Please call it the republic. Do not call it one republic, do not call it republica, because those are copyrighted and you cannot use those, even though we are in a post-apocalyptic world. So, what we need you to do to support this new union, this new republic, is provide entertainment. Entertainment is going to be the hook, the the hope for a new future. Okay? And yes, I understand, Connie. I did not mention the visitors. No, I did not. Nor did I, yes, I did. I gave them hope. I just said the word hope. Okay? Keep hope alive, all of that. Yes, I did it. Okay, so this show that you're gonna produce, you're going to look at movies that have existed, you know, things that were created in the past, and you're going to be the ones, the curators, to determine whether or not these films should move forward with us into our future. That is your mandate that you provide this feedback, you review these movies, and you give your new country hope. That hope coming from whether or not this film should be preserved for our future. Now, would you like to know how this show needs to be? What do you mean, show? Oh, gentlemen, this is entertainment, okay? This is gonna be a fully produced show. It's going to have segments, it's going to have outros, it's gonna have in-jokes, it's gonna be something to entertain the survivors and also to boost morale and you know, to give you something to do because I understand it's pretty hard out there. At least that's what I hear. It's not that hard in here.

SPEAKER_08 12:42

Excuse me, Mr. President. I don't think you understand. I'm a filmmaker. I've actually been at home and watched people win Academy Awards while I'm at home. Um what you're telling and what you're describing right now is television. I don't know if I can if I can do that.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

How very astute of you, Jason. Yes, it is very much like television, except for one thing television no longer exists. So you can call it whatever you want. You can call it a podcast, you can call it television, you can call it a major motion film that is being held inside of a tiny little bunker. But whatever you do, make the show. You will benefit the country by doing so. And we won't talk about what happens if you don't. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 13:25

Got it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Well, we're like, unnecessary threat, but all right.

SPEAKER_08 13:28

Yeah, I think we're all in. Okay, uh uh, so what's the first film that we're gonna watch?

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Well, I want you to breathe in, exhale. I want you to channel your inner ancient times, and I want you to think about your roots, and I want you to know that your first film that you will be reviewing is Braveheart. Uh white people love Braveheart, yeah?

SPEAKER_08 13:57

I loved it a long time ago, sure. Sorry, Andy, what was that?

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Uh I I'm not interested in the Scottish play, and this is basically just lethal weapon with kilts.

SPEAKER_08 14:07

Danny Glover was going to CoStar, but he had diplomatic immunity.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

And it's just been river. He was too old for this shit anyway.

SPEAKER_06 14:18

Oh, we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_08 14:24

Hi everyone. This is Jason Beard, host of Dystopian Drive-in. I don't know about you, but being stuck in an underground bunker day in and day out, things can get pretty rank, especially with no running water and limited deodorizers. Daily life in a bunker can be downright fetid. Until now, introducing Dr. Jericho's Mystery Seepage, a natural occurring substance that appeared after the apocalypse that Dr. Jericho claimed. We don't know how it came to be, whether it's some sort of nuclear byproduct like sapling from an irradiated tree, an excretion from a mutated beast, or rust-colored semen from an as-of-yet unknown sexual bervert. But here's what we do know. Once the violent chemical reaction subsides, a single dime-sized dollop of mystery seepage will transform your damn jury underground dwelling into a space that smells exactly like your favorite dentist's office or the DMV. So take it from me, Jason Beard, and order a batch of Dr. Jericho's Mystery Seepage today. While they still last. Dr. Jericho's Mystery Seepage. Don't ask what's in it. Ask what it can do. For you. Alright, uh, ladies and gentlemen, at the behest of uh Mr. President Sean Scott, who has uh joined us and and and will grace us with uh his presence uh for moderation. Yeah. Uh and then some guy named Andy. Andy, are you okay over there, dude?

SPEAKER_03 16:01

Yeah, it's not I kick in.

unknown 16:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 16:05

Not sure those are eye drops. Um all right, so uh I know you can score H around here, but okay, so we're gonna get into the functional analysis, uh, which is what I've been instructed to call the movie review. We're gonna do a deep dive of Raveheart, I guess, at this point. Coming back from break, everybody's seen the film. Everybody's familiar with H. Okay. All right, so we'll we'll talk about it. So this was uh a film that um uh this this this had a a uh a uh uh an important place in in my heart. I was in uh when I watched this the first time I was alone. I was uh in a theater, I was in a uh this was not a good time for Jason, I will tell you that. So when I watched this movie and sort of the not to skip to the end, but the emotional upheaval uh of all of it, I I I sobbed in the in the theater. I was just torn apart by this. So um I just saw it at the time, what a beautiful film. Um, and um I've seen it countless times since, at least up until the point that we uh had the ability um to do so uh prior to you know the end of the world. Um speaking of Mr. President, what happened? What happened out there?

SPEAKER_02 17:30

I am not at liberty to say. Suffice it to say, you should not go outside anytime soon if you value your limbs and your skin.

SPEAKER_08 17:37

Gotcha. Okay, well, I guess then we won't ask that question anymore. In fact, there's somebody pounding on my door, I'm assuming it's Secret Service, or do you still have something like that?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Cody! Did we dispatch the Secret Service to their bunker? Oh, uh, apparently no, that's not us. I'm not sure what that is. You probably shouldn't answer that.

SPEAKER_08 17:56

I don't think I will, thank you. Uh Justin, what was it like for you when you when you first watched Braveheart for the first time?

SPEAKER_06 18:04

Well, as you know, Jason, that was 1995. And it was a different world then. Um movies didn't have to be accurate or uh you know good to elicit an emotional response. And I really loved the movie the first zillion times I watched it. As you know, it's I I mean as we all know, Andy, Jason, just and myself, of course, we all know that uh Brave Hearts required viewing if you're white, as you say. Uh but as I got older, my perspective on this movie has changed.

SPEAKER_08 18:50

Interesting. Okay. Well, we're gonna definitely get into that. Uh uh, Mr. I was about to say Sean. Sorry for the informalities. Uh, what uh, Mr. President, what were your thoughts? Um, you saw this for the first time.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

You know, watching this the first time when I was a young man, I loved this movie. It was inspirational, it was aspirational if you aspire to, you know, take over England. Um, and it was something that really spoke to my inner man child, I think you could say. Uh one of the things that I think resonated with me in the age in which this I was when this came out was, you know, full of still young man hormones, and you're watching these men rallying to overthrow a tyrannical government, and you feel like, yeah, like you you almost feel this, like, girl, I want to do that too. And I think reflecting back on it as an older man now, I go, you people are crazy. Um, you you never were gonna win that fight. It was never going to go your way under any circumstances, but you still have to respect the hustle. And so I think I looked at it from a very superficial standpoint the first time I watched it. Just, you know, war movie go bang, and it was great. And watching it later as an older person, you know, I did appreciate some of the nuance of the movie. There are a couple things I uh in the later watching, I was like, why did you do that? But overall, I still enjoy the movie, uh, but I definitely see its flaws.

SPEAKER_08 20:15

Absolutely. Andy, uh, if you're sober enough to discuss it, what did you think about uh this movie?

SPEAKER_03 20:25

I liked the guy. I've I've liked him um immediately. The fact that you know you you realize he's lost his family and everything that he's ever cared about just gets you right here. But but then he gets the dog and um he finds some gasoline for his car, and everybody else is fighting over the gasoline, and the scenery is kind of desertly like and gets a haircut somewhere.

SPEAKER_08 20:52

Um and then Yeah, I don't think I don't think we're talking about Braveheart anymore. Where did where did your mind uh you know skip off to there? Are you was this a John Wick? Do we enter in John Wick territory somehow?

SPEAKER_03 21:07

No, it was it was when he was in Australia. Mad Max. Oh, yeah, that guy. Oh, we're doing all the science. Right. Well that's an interesting thing.

SPEAKER_08 21:21

What you're referring to as a much older uh Mel Gibson movie, probably the one that you know brought him uh to our and uh made him famous. The Mad Max series, The Road Warrior, and Beyond the Thunderdome starring uh um the wonderful uh Tina Turner. Um but interestingly enough, I I I was doing some research on Braveheart, and as it turns out, uh Mel Gibson actually never wanted to star in the movie. He just wanted to direct it. Uh but the studio wouldn't go for it unless he did. So that's why he agreed to do the the part of William Wallace. Uh speaking of in the very very beginning. Scenes where we're learning about, you know, we're already hearing how horrible King Edward Longshanks is. Um, and that he's, you know, he's brought some Scottish nobles together to try and have some sort of parlay. Um, and uh, but really it was a ruse. He was just gonna like he basically hung all these people.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

The English were notoriously a bunch of bastards for many hundreds of years. Took over many countries with just arrogance and gumption. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

What bastards? It is still rather fascinating to think about the fact that that small island country ran the entire world for a long time.

SPEAKER_08 22:49

So uh ignoring the um request or demand rather from his father, young William Wallace, uh, shows up to this location where the parlay was supposed to happen and they find a bunch of hang Scots. And I just gotta say, that young kid, James Robinson was his name. What a what an actor, man. What a great actor. I don't know if he ever did anything else. I don't think I ever saw him in anything else, but I just thought he was a great uh child actor. I just thought he did a great job. Any thoughts about that? All right, moving on.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Uh so then one of the I'll I'll say this. One of the things that I I paid attention to about him was how how well he played stoic. And in the funeral scene, you know, when they're bearing he's bearing his parents, his family, he he was father and his brother. He didn't cry at all. He didn't shed a tear until he got the flower from the girl. That's when he finally broke. And I noted that because I said, wow, like as an actor, like that's that's a dope choice. But also as a character, you know, him just trying to be strong. And it took a an act of kindness for him to actually break.

SPEAKER_08 24:05

Break. That's a really good point. That so one thing I'll say, we're and we're gonna get into how we know Mel Gibson today. We will talk about that a little bit. But the Mel Gibson in '95, man, did he direct the hell out of this movie? I will say, as a filmmaker, I've been an enormous fan of his just from a director standpoint. I mean, like, he really puts everything into every film that he does. Sometimes I think he loses his mind a little bit when he does it. But he Apocalypto. Yes, which I just that's a I don't I I love that movie. That's one that hopefully we'll be able to talk about one day. That's the one where he definitely lost his mind a little bit. But I will say that uh '95 Mel Gibson, before we knew what we would find out, it was just an amazing thing. I just thought, wow, who knew this guy could do that? He was this guy who was in Lethal Weapon and you know, movies like that, and then all of a sudden he comes out with this, this huge grand sweeping epic, which at the time, as Justin can attest, even though we don't really know each other that all that well, um, I'm not a I was not an appreciator of history back in those days. I have learned to be, but I was not always like that. Um, all right, so then uh William Wallace uh leaves with his uncle Argyle, played by uh Brian Cox.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Who was never seen again.

SPEAKER_06 25:34

You're required by the British Crown to say Sir Brian Cox, or the incomparable Brian Cox, you can say yes.

SPEAKER_08 25:44

Yes, I just remember the line, it's just like you don't know Latin. So that is something we shall have to remedy, isn't it? I just love that line. I use it in daily life. I just that oh that's something we shall have to remedy. Anyway, I just love that.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Um there was a nice callback to that later in the movie, too, that I appreciated.

SPEAKER_06 26:02

Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, I just gotta know something. How old was Brian Cox in 1995 when he played Argyle? Yeah. Because he's one of those people who seems like he's been 65 for the past 100 years.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

He was born at the age of 42, okay.

SPEAKER_06 26:23

I I agree. For fuck's sake. He was younger than me. He was 49 in 1995.

SPEAKER_08 26:33

That's a little crazy.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

That's totally crazy. He did not know. That's not the ears, it's the mileage.

SPEAKER_08 26:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

I think he's Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 26:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 26:45

Obviously an outstanding actor. He's in a million things. I'm I don't know if you guys were fans of Succession. That's not the only thing I was ever a fan of his, but man, he was so good and uh so good in that uh television show. Uh that was something that for for the viewers out there that we got to, I mean, I think you're viewers, uh, that we got to watch just prior to about a couple years past before the end of the world. The zombie in uh attack, Mr.

SPEAKER_07 27:11

President?

SPEAKER_02 27:12

Not at liberty to say. Please stop asking.

unknown 27:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 27:15

I had to try. Alright, so then Young Wallace goes away.

SPEAKER_06 27:21

Let me ask it this way, Mr. Mr. Uh President. Would Linny Bruce be afraid?

SPEAKER_02 27:28

I respect the hustle, but I'm not answering that. Alright.

SPEAKER_08 27:33

Fair enough. I had to try. I'm glad you did. Alright, so young Wallace goes away. Groan Wallace returns, and boy, does Mel Gibson just look handsome in this damn film. I don't know about you, but maybe older than he's supposed to be. Yeah. But I'm just, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

unknown 27:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

One of the things I realized was that uh the actual William Wallace was 35 when he died. Yes.

SPEAKER_08 28:03

And yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

And Mel Gibson was 38. So it's not that big of a disparity, but Mel Gibson looked very old at the beginning of his adulthood in that movie.

SPEAKER_08 28:15

Yeah. Well, he obviously we know he's an avid smoker. I don't think he's ever quit. And I think he also had quite a bit of trouble with alcohol, so I'm sure that was part of what was wearing on him. Uh, but also was interesting is that uh one thing I learned in doing some research for this movie was that um uh, you know, they of course they play William Wallace as sort of this like, you know, underdog type of character who just like basically was this wild man that lived in the woods, but that apparently wasn't true at all. Uh Justin, do you have any do you know anything about that?

SPEAKER_09 28:48

No.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

No. Well, he had preservations at the Hilton. What what were we talking about? Like he had his bougie coffee in the morning.

SPEAKER_06 28:58

I'll be honest, I was trying to think of what I was gonna say next. I didn't know I had to listen.

SPEAKER_08 29:07

There was a fact, you know what? It's a dry run, but I have a fact here somewhere where it talks about what where William Wallace really came from. He was like a he was like a trained knight. He wasn't uh, you know, just like a wild man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:23

That's what it was. Okay, so actually, I I I do remember now.

SPEAKER_08 29:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:27

You can all relax. One thing, so in general, the movie does not hold together anymore. I mean, once you are old enough to like absorb a little bit of history, you know that the thing is really highly fictionalized. But one thing about Graveheart compared to I think the kind of the the the feeling of movies today is that William Wallace's character in the movie, as ridiculous as it was, was irrepressibly moral. Like, even when he he it would have been so much easier and and actually to his advantage to get along, to go along, or you know, or or modify his ethics a little bit, he just refused and he suffered the consequences and so did people around him. And I think that, you know, that's something I kind of miss about characters from the pre-apocalypse period and liked about that period.

SPEAKER_08 30:34

Yeah. Well, since we're on this subject about some of the historical inaccuracy, I'm just gonna go ahead and list a few that I found while doing the research. So one is the kilts. So as it turns out, Scottish didn't actually wear belted plaids, kilts, until 300 years after Wallace died. In the 13th century, they would have worn saffron-dyed tunics. Also, the blue paint, the woe de body paint, was a look favored by the Picts, who fought the Romans nearly a thousand years before the events of this movie.

SPEAKER_06 31:13

Looked so cool.

SPEAKER_08 31:14

It looks so cool. I mean, I'm not I'm I'm I'm I'm still loving it. Don't get me wrong. There's really not much that's gonna change my mind about the movie, except, of course, you know, some of the stuff that happens later in his life. But um, but then there's Isabella of France apparently was would never have been able to have this secret romance with Wallace later on in the film because in reality she was about 10 years old.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

And can that romance uh we'll get to that, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_08 31:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, yeah, we'll we'll get that we'll we'll definitely get to that. Okay, so then when so when Will Wallace returns home as a uh 52-year-old man, um he be he he kind of catches up with his old friends. There's a rock incident, uh, you know, I forgot about the rocks. I so then there's that whole scene, it's a wonderful scene. Um I the name escapes me, but that's uh oh, what's the actor's name? Um anybody? Okay. Uh then we learn about Prima Note, which apparently is maybe not true. Maybe that didn't really happen in those times. At least I read some things that said that was just a myth, but it wasn't like, you know, the the you know, that didn't really happen. So which is actually watching it this time, knowing that now, I mean that's a that's a big part of this film. Yeah for at least the first half of the film, it's like, but it was prima nocte, those bastards. All right, but anyway, apparently it didn't happen.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

Um that's probably just a bit more PC than saying she was raped by the landmaster. Ah, I think that's the way you can.

SPEAKER_06 32:49

All it takes is for for one lord or or some noble to do it once, and it becomes, you know, like the talk of the town. That's how that's how gossip spread.

unknown 33:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

And they even say that in the movie, and they're interested in that history is written by the people that win the wars. And if the British won, we didn't rape that lady. It was a medieval law that we passed and then enforced on them, or we'd kill them.

SPEAKER_08 33:17

The screenwriter Randall Wallace was actually really clever there. He starts the movie by basically saying, like, this is the truth, and if you hear otherwise, it's a bunch of shit. You know, it's like the people who wrote history are the ones that would hang them. So he can kind of by by basically with that little stroke of genius, he can basically get away with whatever he wants. And almost saying, like, this movie is this movie is uh uh you know the definitive uh version. Don't believe these historians. They would have hung all these people. So anyway, interesting. So but but speaking of that, so um uh adult William Wallace marries in secret. That ends up uh the the uh longshanks uh people catch catch on to that. They capture his lady love after they wed in secret, and um they uh uh murder her, and then you're with the first major uh rebellion scene, which to me at the time that was just that's a master stroke in building suspense, the slow motion, the the sound effects, so much slow motion. Oh my gosh, yeah, a lot. But it does it just it just really works. I mean, he's not subtle, but it does really work. And that first when he takes that, I don't know, what is that, a lance or what no, what is that uh weapon that uh cat of nine mace or pike or yeah the I think I think you're right. I think it's a mace. It's not a cat of nine tails, I know that much. But um, so anyway, he's it's a little bit of a better guy. And when he hits that first guy, I mean it's just like I was just cheering. Because I love I I I had a huge crush on that actress anyway. So she was just a she was a beautiful woman.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Plus you hate British people.

SPEAKER_08 35:12

Yeah. I mean, that's just a given, aren't we?

SPEAKER_03 35:14

All in the same no, no, just getting the vibe.

SPEAKER_08 35:20

So, okay, so then after that, now he's kind of started that's where the revolution really picks up. He basically builds like this Scottish army, um, and now he's just going after the English. Um, there's so many different um like little skirmishes and battles. And um, I mean, like personally for me, I loved all of it. I love a revenge tale, so it was just awesome to see for the most part. Um, you're starting to learn some of the politics, the way that Long Shank is actually sending Princess Isabella to negotiate. Uh, but he's doing some things behind the scenes, and I I'm skipping ahead a lot. So if you if you want to stop me at any point and talk about anything, um but the one big first battle that I think it's the battle of um Sterling Bridge, I think is what they call it.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

Yeah, Sterling, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 36:11

And even though they uh it's famously they that's the battle, but they never feature the bridge, which actually was a huge part of that battle. But I will say that that scene I think has influenced all the types of sword and sandals movies that come later, regardless of whether it's fantasy, like a Lord of the Rings movie, which I love all of those movies as well. But I think this movie sort of solidified, like if you're gonna shoot a movie, a scene like this, this is how you do it. I think he sort of built the temple.

SPEAKER_06 36:44

Yeah, kind of like I think I think you can trace the the that battle scene all the way to episode nine of season six, Battle of the Bastards in uh uh Game of Thrones, you know, when he stands up and faces him, you know, that and then they rush in at the last moment. It's all choreographed in this way that gave me serious uh Braveheart vibes back then when I watched it way back before the apocalypse happened.

SPEAKER_08 37:16

What were you gonna say, Mr. President?

SPEAKER_02 37:18

I was gonna note that um I think for me, this was one of the first I'll call it a war movie because they were at war. Um, but it was one of the first war movies that I saw that didn't glorify the battle. Like it was very visceral. It was, you know, and my my son was watching the movie as well, and he's an adult, and he was like, I've never seen a movie where you see the people crawling in the mud, you know, and they're that yeah, it was like that. And I I was noting like, yeah, this was one of the first movies where it was just like, oh no, it's not just I smack you and you fall, it's I'm going to take a sword and run it up through your groin.

SPEAKER_08 37:59

There's no yeah, there's no doubt that in any movie of um Mel Gibson's following Braveheart, whether it was Apocalypto or of course Passion, uh Passion of the Christ, he he has he does not shy away from violence. He may like violence, I don't know, but but he shoots it really well. I mean, he does a really like when I I remember I had the same feeling watching Braveheart that I had many years later watching the uh the the D-Day invasion, the landing on the beach and saving Private Ryan. It was that it sort of catches me in the chest. It's hard to breathe. I it's so visceral, it feels so real. You feel like you're there. I mean, I felt like I was in this movie in Braveheart, I feel like I'm in the mud, I'm blood splattered. You know, you could see how difficult it was just to get through this thing, and especially what you noted there, Mr. President, about them. At the end, it's just like they're still going at it, but they're exhausted. Half of them are probably dying, stuck in the muck, still just trying to crawl and have some sort of victory. And it was just you've never you've never seen that side of the battle before. Um, it was really something to behold, and to this day is still one that I show my four-year-old son when I need to punish him for something.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

Um I agree with what you're saying about the uh the emotions that it brings up by not shying away with the brutality of the moment and the uh the disgust and the the violence and uh and what's going on. And I was I was thinking the same point that you had, saving Private Ryan. I remember uh being at university and I was taking a film studies class, and saving Private Ryan just hit the theaters, and it was all like, oh, this is gonna be the biggest and the baddest, and we were all pumped up, like, let's go watch, you know, some Nazis get punched in the face. This is gonna be brilliant, we're all G'd up. We went in, and the plan was to have a great time in the movie and then go out and party. And we walked out of that movie just fucking numb. Like from watching that brutality and the realism and the depth and the blood and the mud, and it just it didn't, it wasn't like uh wasn't like Arnold Schwarzenegger punching the bad guy in the face. It was it felt more real and brought on the brutality that we can do to each other.

SPEAKER_08 40:26

Yeah, it was it was a it was just a masterful scene. But um, you know, this was a movie that at the time we hadn't seen a lot of large scale. We had I think uh Hollywood at the time had sort of gone away from shooting these types of films in nine in '95. So this was sort of a a rebirth in a way of these types of movies. And um, especially in the time, 1995, I think the budget was like over 70 million, which is enormous for a film for some for a director who'd only had maybe one other film that was far more artistic, The Man Without a Faith. And uh sort of he hadn't been, he was untested really uh to direct something at this scale.

SPEAKER_06 41:10

He was untested on epic.

SPEAKER_08 41:12

A true epic. I mean, and the cinematography is is out of this world. I mean, the the the blue tints and hues and the you feel like you're there. I don't know how else to describe it, but it just feels like you're you're really there.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Gotlin was beautiful in this movie.

SPEAKER_08 41:28

Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um, all right, so then uh skipping ahead just a little bit, we get uh there's a lot of politics. Oh yeah, go ahead. I have a question.

SPEAKER_06 41:39

Uh can we uh handle breaks? Yes. We need a break. I need to uh evacuate some fluids into my apocalypse toilet.

SPEAKER_08 41:50

I I think that works. Okay, do we want to take uh five? Does that work for everybody?

SPEAKER_06 41:54

Yeah, it works for me.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

My dearest Renard, there is something in the air this morning. A changing of the seasons, first announced by the easing of the ache in my hips. Spring has come at last. But with it, an old but persistent ache has returned. Oh, you remember the day, don't you? The maypole standing there in proud display, erect, while the congregation circled it with rehearsed enthusiasm. We, of course, remained at the edges. Models of restraint, though I recall your restraint began to falter that day. You stood there beside me, close enough to invite comment. Your hand brushed mine once, twice, and a third time it lingered there. I knew this was not by coincidence. Oh, we spoke endlessly of nothing, but neither stepped away. Then, you suggested we take a turn beyond the green, a walk among the meadow, into the shade of the trees. So gently, so reasonably, as though it was not proposal of great consequence. I refused, of course. I said it would not do, that we must remain visible, that we were not the sort to be led off by impulse. And so we stayed, watching others wind themselves into knots, while we stood perfectly still, pretending we were not imagining our own entanglements. It seems to me now that something began that day. Not in what we did, but what we so carefully did not do. A postponement of passion. One I recall we did not keep for long. With fond and Improv assistance. Your sweet Leonid.

SPEAKER_08 44:14

One. Den dun dun. Alright, well, we all took a piss. We're back. Um that was an interesting ad we read. Thank you, Mr. President, for having me uh do that. So now we have a segment, ladies and uh gentlemen. We're gonna uh we're gonna hear amongst us here on the show, we're gonna all share our one of our favorite quotes from the movie. And uh Andy the drunkard, why don't you go first?

SPEAKER_03 44:44

Gold tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're Mr.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

President. And I'm annoyed that you didn't say it in the way that an Irish person would say it, which is your thing if we said that, but when the president's annoyed, fair point, fair point. That aside drunk.

SPEAKER_08 45:15

Hey, I set it up, but you know, not everyone's a winner, that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 45:19

I will stick with the Irish, and my favorite quote was, It's my island.

SPEAKER_06 45:26

Very good.

SPEAKER_08 45:27

Justin, what about you?

SPEAKER_06 45:30

I like the part where he says to his young love, I love ya. Always have.

SPEAKER_08 45:39

I like that too. So one I already mentioned, I'm gonna do two. One I already mentioned was, of course, Argyle. He says, uh, you don't know Latin. Oh, that is something we shall have to remedy, isn't it? I love that. And um uh the other one is uh I fight and you may die. Run and you'll live at least a while. I always like that one.

SPEAKER_06 46:08

Your love. Your love. Your love.

SPEAKER_08 46:11

Your love in your beds many years from now. Years anyway. Anyway, yeah, what do you think about Mel Gibson's accent as a Scottish fellow?

SPEAKER_03 46:24

I mean, I've heard a lot worse.

SPEAKER_08 46:27

Yeah. I mean, I don't I probably couldn't do any better. I mean, obviously, I'm showing up on this show, right?

SPEAKER_03 46:33

But I I have taken vacations in Scotland quite a bit over the years because I was born uh right on the English-Scottish border, and I will say he did a better job than most American tourists do when they go to Scotland and decide to speak to Scottish people with Scottish accents. So for that I I can commend him. He did better than that.

SPEAKER_06 46:54

Okay. He's a dirty Australian. They they all, you know, the South Africans and the those dirty, dirty Australi Australians, they they can do any accent. You know?

SPEAKER_08 47:07

I mean dirty Australians. Charlie's Dan Pilot episode, the pilot episode, dirty Australian. Why are we getting ratings? I just don't understand.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

Well, the Australians like the Irish. Good luck insulting them. They don't give a shit.

unknown 47:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 47:24

What's your feelings? Right? Russell Crowe and the lot of them.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

I do not condone. I do not condone any of this.

SPEAKER_08 47:33

Sorry, must be.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

I abstain.

SPEAKER_08 47:36

Just having a laugh. That was my Scottish accent. Um, okay, so um all right, so where are we here? So we've talked about the Battle of Sterling uh Bridge. Now I was gonna move to um the capture. Unless there's any and there's a lot that happens in between. So if there's anything you want to talk about before the capture, let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

I'll be honest with you. I like the prince. And I like the prince not because I thought he was such a great person, but he was trying so hard to just be who he was.

SPEAKER_08 48:12

Like is this Robert the Bruce?

SPEAKER_02 48:14

No, no, no, no, no, not Robert the Bruce.

SPEAKER_08 48:15

No, that guy was Long Shakespeare, Long Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

Yes, yes, uh yeah. Um, the actual prince. Um well, okay. Anyway, yes, uh, I liked him as a character because he was just trying to live, man. He's just trying to live. And his father is really pushing him. I I don't know historically or even in the movie if there were other heirs, if there were siblings, or if he was the only child of Longshanks. I don't know if it was ever clear in the movie, but he obviously did not want the job. He did not want to be king. Like he wanted to just chill, and just wanted to do his own thing. Yeah, and there was a scene where he's walking down the hallway in the castle, and he's got his attendants around him, and there's a guy holding a full-length mirror walking along with him so he could check it. And I immediately thought of Morris Day and the Time. Yeah, just walking and checking his outfit while he's going along.

SPEAKER_08 49:08

I mean, yeah, and just for a few, he just walked a few feet and he's like, oh wait, hold on. You know, like he and then he walked a few feet more. He probably did it again. What about Sophie Marceau, who plays Isabella? I think she is just she's beautiful, so ravishing.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

Indeed. Ethereal.

SPEAKER_08 49:28

Yeah, just oh man, and she's actually excellent in the film. I mean, a great actor. And uh again, she's one of these. I I you know, you sort of just capture them in this moment in time, and then I know she's gone on to do a billion other things, but I don't think I've ever seen her in anything beyond Braveheart.

SPEAKER_06 49:48

Uh, I forget I'm just spacing on the name, but the uh woman that William Wallace murdered by marrying her, uh she was in Ronan as well, around that same time.

SPEAKER_08 50:05

Yes, yes. I had an enormous crush on her. She is super gloss. Oh my gosh. And just well, and just she just got that very um natural sort of beauty, you know, or at least uh and um Catherine McCormick. I mean I know she's old as fuck now. I'm probably you know, who cares about her at all anymore? But back then, I'm getting I'm the editor, I get to take out what's gonna be.

SPEAKER_09 50:28

I do not need to throw that away.

SPEAKER_08 50:33

No, I'm just kidding. Um, but uh yeah, just an uh amazing actor. And I and this was the first time I I I did see the actor. There's two. Uh the guy who plays the Irishman who's like wack-a-doo in the movie, so wonderful. That was the first time I'd ever seen him. And he's never, in the things that I've seen, ever played that character again. He's always been a much more tough mafioso type. Like he's been like Scorsese often gets him into stuff. Yeah, go ahead and type it out there. We'll we'll wait for you to do that. I don't remember his name. It sounds like a jackhammer. Sounds like the opening to Saving Private Run. Let me figure that out.

SPEAKER_06 51:23

Oh, phew.

SPEAKER_08 51:27

All right. Um, okay, so uh yes, so him and then the Robert the Bruce actor. I don't know if we ever saw him again. I really did sort of feel for that that character of Robert the Bruce. I mean, obviously he was torn between um the guy, his father, who was falling apart from some illness.

SPEAKER_02 51:49

Leprosy. Um he was a leper. Leprosy.

SPEAKER_08 51:52

He was a leper, okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:54

Yeah, gross.

SPEAKER_08 51:55

You know who he really reminded me of in the makeup? He always reminded me of Rocky Balboa's uh trainer.

SPEAKER_07 52:06

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 52:08

Yes. Yeah, um always. He always in that makeup, and there was even something about the way that he spoke. I always uh I and I should know this actor's name. Is it Burgess Meredith?

SPEAKER_02 52:21

Is that Burgess Meredith, yes.

SPEAKER_08 52:23

Yes, okay. Um he's uh he reminded me in that makeup, he reminded me of Burgess Meredith.

SPEAKER_02 52:31

I could never anybody else feel that way about it or it's it I didn't notice it in a moment, but you saying that, um, especially later as he progresses, the disease progresses, and he starts getting like the bandages across the face and stuff. It it got more and more looking like Burgess Meredith at that point.

SPEAKER_08 52:49

Yeah, yeah. I kept waiting for him to like Rocky, get up, you know, but he never did. Um okay. Alright, so um, so we've talked about some of the notable characters. There's a lot of politics involved. At one point, they bring they they William Wallace gives a speech and he really inspires some other Scottish nobles who have sort of just always sort of uh you know begged for scraps at the table of Longshanks. And that guy Longshanks, by the way, is just an amazing actor with what he did. Everybody just hate him.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

So one of the things I noted about Longshanks' the character is I I wrote this down. I said his cruelty is consistent, and and I think the consistency makes a difference because sometimes you have characters in movies that they they are cruel, but then they're not cruel sometimes, and it's it's just like, well, what is this person actually? And this dude, he was he was consistently cruel, he was incredibly smart, like he knew what he was doing, he knew exactly what outcomes he wanted to reach. And if you think about it, he won. Like he he lost little skirmishes and battles along the way, but on his dying breath, he basically heard William Wallace getting killed. So he kind of won.

SPEAKER_06 54:06

He did kind of win. I mean speaking of that death scene, yeah, that death scene was. I mean, it this is in the era of obvious good guys and obvious bad guys, and yet this is an obvious bad guy, and I remember all the way back then till now watching that death scene and feeling his misery because his acting is so good. Right. I've I felt compassion for this terrible character in his dying moments.

SPEAKER_08 54:35

Yeah, yeah. Um well, and and I wanted I I do want to get into the the execution of William Wallace in a minute because it's the stark, uh, it's in stark contrast to the rest of the movie. Uh, but I'm gonna hold on that for a minute. So so so one thing about um uh long long long shanks is that uh it from in from a plot standpoint, um he's always seems a few steps ahead of everything that they're trying to do, which again it kind of shows that even though William Wallace sort of led this revolution and he became such an inspiration for so many, uh and and you know, according to the movie, even though William Wallace died, it eventually led to their freedom. Um he was always like one step to have a master strategist in a way, even though he was so cruel. I remember when he comes up with the idea of prima nocturne, and somebody comments, like, Well done, sir, or something like that. And he's like, What's it is it's just like even then, because basically he's saying, like, well, why didn't you think of it, asshole?

SPEAKER_02 55:47

That was great because in that moment, that exact moment, I said, He's gonna kill that dude. That dude's about to die, and he didn't, and it was like, Oh, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 55:56

But the his look, oh man, if I had had somebody look at me like that, I'd be pissing in my pants, and Mitch would love it if he was here. Okay, so anyway, um, so the invasion of York. Wallace takes the fight to the English soil, proof scarlet can strike back. We got Princess Isabella in the mix, we got the Falkirk happen, we have Robert the Bruce who uh devastates William Wallace in that scene. That was a real twist for me. I never once thought that Robert the Bruce was gonna turn on William Wallace, and of course, it's done in a really amazing way. And of course, then you got these other Scottish lords and Robert the Bruce, who's now thinking, hey, we're gonna do right by William Wallace and we're gonna bring William Wallace to us, we're gonna have negotiations. But these two Scottish peeps, you know, are like, no, we're gonna we're gonna try and uh finally capture him. And they were working with the Long Shanks the whole time, and and they and they capture William Wallace. Now, I don't know much about I mean, obviously you've heard he was like drawn and quartered in different parts sent all over the world. Um, I remember in this particular scene, uh again, uh just at a time in my life where this was like watching the death of a family member when I was in the movie theater. Just like I just could not console myself at the time. It was really hard to watch. But expertly done. Where most of the film has been so in your face violent, now they're cutting away. Yes, which is far worse than anything you ever could have actually seen. And they have the little guy on stage who's mimicking what's supposed to be happening to him. So when the so clever, when they're cutting open and the entrails are supposed to be coming out, they have someone sort of mimicking it with like a silk cloth or something, you know, just like it was so well done, so disturbing. And there's even sort of this weird compassion of the executioner, who the one running the stage who's like, you know, sort of announcing what's happening and sort of like gleefully allowing this to take place, but then also at a point where he would have thought nobody could withstand this pain anymore. William Wallace is clearly gonna just gonna just take me now, get it over with, I'll pledge my allegiance or whatever was being asked of him. But that's when he, of course, yells, freedom. And uh yeah, powerful stuff at the time.

SPEAKER_02 58:28

Did you powerful? Did you note what at what point the crowd turned? So the the crowd wanted blood because that's that was their entertainment, right? So they they come in and they're trying they want him to die. And the longer he holds out, the crowd starts turning in his favor. They start begging for mercy, and they they begin that mercy chant, you know, late in the game, and they're not gonna give him mercy, obviously, but the crowd turned to William Wallace's not maybe not his favor, but they at least like acknowledged his stoicism. Yeah, you know, they they respected him for sticking to his values and morals and principles. And it was kind of an interesting thing to watch.

SPEAKER_03 59:11

When you were talking about um the mood changing, um, you did have the showman who was you know trying to punish him, and the executioner, even though his face is masked, um, the body language, you you see the the turn in him as well, I think mimicking the audience, just like, come on, dude. Enough's enough. Sure. Let's just do that.

SPEAKER_08 59:35

Yeah, we don't have to go there. We've made they probably have, yeah, you've made your point, and they've never had somebody that was so willing to, I guess, sacrifice himself, you know, whatever. It seemed like they were even like what they were being asked to do was taking it, it was taking everybody to a place they'd never been before.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

Um the boundary of, you know, we're the the celebrities on stage to now we're the bad ones. Because the we've lost we've lost the people.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:03

Yeah. And then of course eventually you see Marin come in, and then you know, okay, he's definitely on the other side now. And he's not feeling any pain, at least we hope so.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:13

I would like to back up a little tiny bit. Was I the only oh sorry, Justin?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:17

Well just one last thing about the the death scene. I don't know about you, but I remember thinking some he's he's gonna get through this somehow. Like they're gonna stop at just the right moment. And then when I saw the mimicry of the intestines, you know, it was rope that he was pulling out as if they were intestines, uh then I knew, like, oh, yeah, there's no coming back from that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But I was I was hoping for a last minute, you know, like uh Jack Sparrow style saved him. That's what I was wanting as a 21-year-old.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

For me, the the one thing about the movie as a whole that really almost took me out of it was the manufactured romance between William and Princess Isabella. Like, oh yeah, it was so unnecessary and led to absolutely nothing.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:13

Like you're really, you're right. It really didn't need to be there.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

Nothing came of it. And watching it, it was like, well, all right. Number one, his primary motivation for all of this was revenge, right? For the death of his of his betrothed, his woman that he's loved all of his life. And so to give him another love interest like this, in the midst of battling the very revenge plot that he's fueling, felt like it was undercutting his motivation a little bit. Yeah. And the second thing is nothing came out of that relationship, if you want to call it that, that he could not have gotten out of mutual admiration or mutual respect. That it could have been simply a, you know what, we're enemies technically, but I see what you're doing and I respect it. And that it could have been like that from both in both directions, and more like a you know, one of those versus a love thing.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:04

She could have just been some sort of emissary that even if they found him irresistible because William Wallace, I'm sure, was just a real looker. Uh, you know, that just I agree with you. It's just one of those things that didn't really need to be there. And plus, one of the things, even though I think it's I still love this movie, the passage of time is sort of difficult to track in some ways in terms of when when this began with the death of Marin and his revenge and then the revolution and the army building and all this kind of stuff. You don't get a real sense of how much time is passing. So by the time you get to the point of Isabella, it kind of feels like it's kind of gross in a way that you know you started this all off because of Marin, your your your wife dying, and yet you're kind of you're banging this other chick. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's hot.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:58

Prove that he can pull tail in every movie he's in.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:01

It doesn't matter what it is. Yeah, yeah, even later. So uh if you had to compare between like Princess Isabella and Connie, like where are we at, Mr. President?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:12

Princess Isabella's beautiful, beautiful woman, beautiful woman.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:16

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:16

Uh Connie is uh Connie's a beautiful woman as well. I don't think I can you know really compare the two. Okay. Yeah. Um anyway, so yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:28

Are you are you back with us, Mr. President?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:30

I yeah, I never left. I'm here. I'm here.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:32

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:33

Standing strong.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:35

All right. How's uh how's uh the first lady, by the way?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

I suppose she's great. Uh we were actually separated at the time. Um did you ever see Independence Day? Of course. All right, so you know, do you remember the situation in Independence Day when the uh when the infiltrators attacked and uh the first lady was in one place and the president was in another place? It's it's a similar situation here where uh you know I'm in I'm I'm not gonna stay where I am, Connie, okay? I'm not that crazy. But I'm in my place and she's in a different place, and we're communicating. You know, we're we're we're communicating with each other, but uh she's she's safe. That's important.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:10

Gotcha. Are you sure she's not D E D?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:13

I mean No, no, unl unless uh AI has gotten incredibly good in a post-apocalyptic way, and she she's fine.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:20

Okay, okay. Well, we certainly wouldn't want the first lady to succumb to a nuclear wasteland.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

I have no idea what you're referring to. Just don't go outside.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:34

Okay. Had to try. Alright, so here's some uh trivia behind the scenes for Braveheart. So uh the extras. So most of the soldiers in the battle scenes were members of the Irish Army Reserve. And to save money, the same 1500 men played both the Scottish and English armies. They simply change costumes and flip sides, and of course, in one scene, show their dinghalings. Uh, I love pausing on that scene. Anyway, so the next one is the mechanical horses. So they never we didn't want to harm any horses in the making of this film. Um, you know, animal rights groups. I guess we don't have any more of those, thank goodness. Um, to appease the animal rights groups, the production used incredibly realistic nitrogen-pressured mechanical horses. I will say, there was never a moment where I thought those were fake horses. It always looked real to me. So that was well done.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:38

In fact, at one point where he's when he kills one of the Scottish noblemen after the betrayal and he runs and jumps out of the the barn doors.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:46

I was like, is that a real horse? And how did they get that horse to jump into water like that?

SPEAKER_08 1:05:51

Right. That thing looks so real. The nitrogen pressured mechanical horses weighed 200 pounds and could run on these tracks. So that that was not something you would want to fall on you or malfunction in any kind of way.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:10

Like if you if you you know if you needed to show I mean there there are horses that specialize in you know acting like they took a lance like you see in a uh a knight of the seven kingdoms. But you know, like that that Battle of the Bastards scene that I keep sort of comparing it to, there were times in that scene where I thought, yeah, that's a fake horse. That's not a real horse. You know? Uh and I never, I never, if you hadn't told me that, I never would have known it.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:38

Yeah, never. Um, yeah, it's pr pretty pretty impressive. So as I mentioned before, so Mel Gibson, it says here was about uh nearly 40 when he filmed the movie and he was playing somebody in his late 20s. Um he didn't want the role, he just wanted to direct, but the studio Paramount at the time, big surprise, uh insisted he star in it to uh secure the $70 million budget, so that's why he did it. Um The real Braveheart, I didn't know this until doing the research. I don't know if anybody else saw this too. So historically, the nickname Braveheart did not refer to William Wallace. It actually belonged to Robert the Bruce. Yeah, that totally makes sense. Yeah, legend says that after William Wallace's death, his heart was carried into battle in a silver casket. A knight supposedly threw the casket into the enemy ranks, shouting, Oh no, no, no. Oh, sorry. So this is Robert the Bruce's heart. So after he died, they carried it into battle in a metal case and threw it at their enemies and said, Lead on brave heart. So that was a one-time thing, obviously. They didn't, I don't think they were able to go back and retrieve it. So uh I'm assuming that didn't. Excuse me, I just need to pick this up. Okay, thanks. Yeah, we got in. We want that back.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:02

Can I just have that back? It seemed really symbolic that I throw it, but in hindsight. Kind of dumb. We shouldn't have done that now. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:11

Yeah, yeah. I wonder if it like launched itself into the ground like that sword did.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:18

Hold on a second. Just I gotta brush off this heart. One second.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:23

Whatever that bagpipe song they played the entire movie over and over and over again was. I don't know, I'm feeling a little compelled to eat it.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:29

Should I eat the heart, guys? Alright. Um let's see. So what else is there to talk about? Uh anything else? Anybody else have any last thoughts? First uh last looks? Final thoughts.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:48

Yeah, yeah, let's well, I I don't know if it's too soon, but let's talk about the elephant in the room.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:54

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:54

Let's talk about it. Uh Melanie.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:57

Let's separate the man from the movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:59

Right. I can. Um I think I think art can stand on its own, separate from the artist. And I think certainly given the the ignorance that we all had at the time that this movie came out, uh it's fair to try to preserve that ignorance when looking at this movie, like in keeping that lens because we didn't know. I think if Mel Gibson made Braveheart today, given all that we do know, it would not be perceived perceived the same way, and we wouldn't look at it the same way. So I I think for that reason, you you you need to take the art and put it aside and go, for what it was, for whoever made it, that this is what it is, and whether to what extent it was influenced by his feelings and his politics and his thoughts and whatever, we don't know. So it stands on its own.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:56

I totally agree. And I do tend to lean that way with other problematic actors, actresses, you know, whatever, musicians. Like I will, at least at the time, in that period of time, especially when maybe some of their uh ill will or misdeeds were unknown. I don't, I don't, I can still look back at those moments, finally, still enjoy the music, still enjoy the movies. I don't necessarily bring in the baggage that comes with what we've learned in the information age. So I agree, I totally agree. I can I can apply that to just about any artist out there. But just uh Justin.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:37

Yeah, so you know, my archetypal director for this is Clint Eastwood. Uh incredible director. Uh his the last movie I saw from him was uh El Camino, and he's like 9,000 years old and still able to act and direct a great movie. I think his politics are as he is a wild weasel. He's crazy, but he can direct the hell out of a movie, and uh Mel Gibson is similar. Now he's a raging anti-Semite, which makes it harder, you know. Uh but yeah, I I can pretty much get over it.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:24

It would be harder now, I think. I can look at the there's a list of movies that, well, I it's not even that long, to be honest. It was Braveheart and it was Apocalypto. Those are the two where I'm just like, those kind of stand on their own. Justin, I don't know if you actually liked Apocalypto. I'm curious. I loved Apocalypto. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:43

I didn't make it all the way through it. I mean Really? Interesting. No.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:47

Extremely violent, but I just thought it was a really well done movie. But he definitely lost his damn mind in that movie.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:52

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and and I I did watch the last Tim Tate or the Jim Cavizel. How much how much stage blood can Jim Cavizel have on his body? That's what the movie was about.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:07

And I, you know, with the benefit of hindsight, I kind of feel like that death scene had little little crucifixion vibes in it. Like, you think hanging's bad, well, we're gonna rip out your guts. Oh, you think that's bad, but we're gonna stretch you until like your arms pop.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:25

You know, like the design we're gonna show it instead of you know have some clever artistic way. True. We're just gonna show everything. True. Um, yeah, it was uh yeah, so I think he I don't know. It would be difficult now, I think, to sort of get behind any movie directed by Mel Gibson just because he's so you know, he is what he is. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:49

I think you'd have to see the movie. Like, you know, once I found out that Clint Eastwood was a raving lunatic in his in his later years, I didn't really want to watch El Camino, but that movie was great. So if Mel Gibson ever directs again, I just I don't see him doing that, but if he did, I would judge it on the merits and not his raging uh racism.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:15

I've heard he's had some some lethal weapon movie in development for a long time, and I think he does want to do a sequel to The Passion of the Christ. Those are the two things I've heard about. Of course, when he did Passion of the Christ, it was a self-funded movie. He made a just absolute massive fortune with the box office of the first movie. Because basically it was like at the time, I remember I've heard interviews about this, but if you were Christian and you didn't see Passion of the Christ, or Catholic and didn't see Passion of the Christ, you know, like you shouldn't even be, you know, believing, essentially, was kind of what the how they characterize it at the time. Straight to hell. You're going straight to hell. You didn't see Passion of the Christ. Oh, well. Sorry about it. It doesn't even matter if you're going to be saved at this point, you know. But um, all right, so box office performance just very quickly, despite being a three-hour R-rated historical epic that is usually considered risky, it was an enormous global hit. The budget was 72 million domestically, it made 75.6 million, it made another 134.8 million overseas with a total worldwide gross of 210 million dollars. It would win best picture, best director, best cinematography, best makeup, and best sound effects at the Oscars. It was nominated for another five different Academy Awards. Um it was just a massive hit all around, and uh it is one that I will still occasionally uh turn on and and watch. And someday I have a huge list of movies that I force my children to watch, and this will be on that list.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:04

So right next to Friday.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:09

Yeah, you know, that needs to be on our our list because you know what? I've never seen Friday.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:15

Friday? You've never seen Friday.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:17

Straight to jail. I don't know why. I don't have a reason for it. I'm a huge Ice Cube fan, and I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:25

That is the most quotable movie I've ever watched except for Harlan Ellen.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:28

Oh my god, it's Friday, you ain't got shit to do. Let's get hot. Let's work on it. Let's blaze or something. Hey ma'am! If Chris talking, you gotta nuts the fuck out.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:39

Maybe it's after Red Sparrow.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:42

I'm high in the car. There's so many quotes from that movie.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:45

So see, I I I think I'm hearing Andy hasn't seen it either, so maybe we'll watch it sometime.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:49

I grew up on Wayneswell that didn't see Friday.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:52

Okay. They're not mutually exclusive, you're not. I watched both. Slimey Brit.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:01

Oh my gosh. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:02

You have to watch Friday.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:03

I was kind of waiting for something like this. Now that we're in this, I do want to watch it. I've always wanted, I know it's one of those blind spots that I need to watch. Um, and we will for sure. So many cultural references.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:14

If you can pass on next Friday. And Friday afternoon. Oh yeah, I've heard that too. I've heard that.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:20

They're not awful, but they're not at the level of Friday.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:23

Right. Um, and uh from what I understand, Ice Cube wrote Friday. Like it was his screenplay. Pretty unbelievable. I believe that is correct, yes. I mean, as you know, it's my favorite rap album of all time, 1992 Death Certificate. Every song I love. Um, it was an education for me. There's certainly probably better rap albums, but that was an awakening that was that was Yeah, I'd never even heard of a Black Korea before that album.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:51

No.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:52

No, I didn't realize.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:55

Oh my gosh. Good stuff.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:58

Um, all right. Any final thoughts or last looks before we close it up and get to our final verdict?

SPEAKER_06 1:17:05

Oh, okay. Well, I was just gonna so I'll I'll hold back aga a little bit, but 1995, Braveheart changed movie going expectations. I don't think there's a gladiator without Braveheart. Yeah. I don't think I mean there's probably a dozen movies I can't think of that that were right around that Kingdom of Heaven. Kingdom of Heaven! Of course, that was a huge flop, but I mean, you know, uh Gladiator was uh a massive hit. Completely inaccurate.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:40

Yeah, oh my god, 300.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:42

All of it. And you were mentioning the the slow motion. I I looked up how old was Zack Snyder when Braveheart came out, and he was 29.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:52

So that's like the perfect age to just he's watching it like, oh, but what if the movie is entirely in slow motion?

SPEAKER_06 1:17:59

Yeah, and what what if I make all of them six hours long?

SPEAKER_08 1:18:04

And very dark, very dark, right? Right, right. It's no lighting. Now with CGI, I can just give them abs, but still make them work out. Oh man. Okay, that's really good stuff. All right, all right, so I think we're at the final verdict. This is where we're going to, uh ladies and gentlemen. This is where we go around the room and we decide whether this film is worthy to go into the vault, which means that it's worthy for humanity. Future generations. For for generations to come. For any survivors, as we assume there are many, right, Mr. President? Um, we will determine uh the fate of this movie and if it goes in the vault for future generations to see, or if it gets obliterated. I'll come up with a better word when we really do it. Uh all right, so I mean, I think Andy, you know, look, um, let's let's give it to you first. Your, you know, your look, like, has it been helpful for you to sort of get your mind off Sheila for a little bit and watch a movie talk about it with the brush?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:17

Well, uh, this move if we're talking about keeping it for future generations and moving forward, this is gonna be somewhat of an educational piece, and it really does make the English look like a bunch of bastards. So that does kind of tarnish my view a little bit. Uh, also uh I don't have a great attention span, and it was a three-hour movie. Uh but a lot of really bad people got punched in the face, and I like that. I'll say keep it.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:47

There we go, worthy. All right, we have one worthy, Mr. President.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:52

You know, it is definitely masturbatory material for for older white men, but I will say that it does strike a particular cultural chord that I believe needs to be heard in the future. I deem it worthy.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:07

Okay, we have two worthies. It's down to you and me, Justin. And uh I'll defer to you first.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:14

Well, as much as I hate to agree with our esteemed president, who I voted against nine times.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:22

Holy shit. Fired. Uh shots fired.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:25

Shots fired.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:26

Take note.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:29

But he's he's dead on the uh even if you don't, even if you don't like, I don't know how you can't like the movie, but even if you don't, or even if you're one of these people like me who loves to pick apart, you know, that's not the right plaid. You know, that kind of I hate those fucking people. I know. We're the worst. Um even with all of its trade-offs, it is a c an important cultural touchstone. So President Scott nailed it.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:03

Alright. Well, I mean, look, I think we all see where this is going. Vault worthy, for sure. Okay. Alright. I think in the future we'll say worthy, unworthy. Okay. So we got three worthies. Worthy. Alright, so I mean, I'm the last one. I don't have, I mean, I think we know where this is going. Majority rules already, so there's no tie like we had the first damn time, which I didn't have any way of fixing. So we had to ask Connie to help us, and she's she came in and helped us. But anyway, look, it's Braveheart, it's an Oscar-winning film, it's known to everyone. I'm gonna show it to my kids and say, look, you know, when you're older, you can masturbate because you'll be an old white guy one day, right? That's what we talk about with our children. Um, I'll edit that part out too. Anyway, um, but but uh yeah, I love it. We know Mel Gibson to be a certain different type of man than he than we knew him to be in 1995. He was a superstar already, and then he made this turn to directing and just happened to be really damn good at it. It's still a hugely watchable film, and um, despite all the historical inaccuracies, which I don't necessarily always judge these types of movies by, if they really are done really, really well. If they're boring, like Napoleon, uh whatever that was called, which was just god-awful. Um sorry, sorry, Ridley Scott, but you know, you're you you you do some comments and you do some real stinkers too. Anyway, uh, without further ado, Worthy. Four Worthies, Braveheart going in the vault. Lock it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:48

Preserve excellent work, preserve. Thank you so much. Thank you very much for your participation and uh your duty to your country, the republic. And I would like to announce to you a little bit ahead of time, this time, the very next movie that you will be responsible for determining the fate of will be Red Sparrow, starring J Law. What? My god, what is that? It's a beautiful film that you need to watch.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:19

Okay, all right. Well then, ladies and gentlemen, next time you see us, you see us, we'll be talking about Red Sparrow. Don't know what it is, never seen it, but we'll watch it and hopefully you'll uh come back and join us. That was uh this uh first pilot episode of uh Dystopian Drive In.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:38

Hey, come on a touching it all. Come on, eh? Is J Lobs the same as Jennifer Lopez? No, they're different people. Well, which one is one with Oh, that's Jennifer Lopez. Oh, yeah.