Dystopian Drive-In: C.O.D. Part 1 - Horny Armageddon & Zombie Trauma

Inaugural Content On Demand (C.O.D.) aka Codpast Episode

Host/Co-host: Jason Beard & Justin Merritt

The movie reviews are officially on hold because President Scott has ordered the bunker crew to just chat and "act like professionals." This week on Dystopian Drive-In, Jason (broadcasting from a dusty 12x12 rocket storage room) and Justin Merritt (broadcasting from a plush, ED-pill-funded missile silo) ditch the script for their very first unscripted banter session: The Codpast. 

Bunker Blues & The Horny Mailbag

While Jason wrestles with intense social anxiety and handles a growing puddle of "mystery seepage" in his bunker, the duo dives into a wildly chaotic batch of post-apocalyptic fan mail. The listeners prove that Armageddon has made the surviving population incredibly horny, resulting in messages ranging from Breaking Bad nostalgia and face-punching inquiries to a listener aggressively accusing Jason of being a cuckold. Jason fiercely shuts down the rumors, begging the caller to buy some chapstick to stop his disgusting, "lickety-smackety" microphone mouth noises. 

The Childhood Trauma of the Undead

To wrap up the chat, Justin explains his deep-seated childhood trauma regarding zombie movies, tracing it back to a terrifying scene in Return of the Living Dead where a severed zombie torso wiggles like a tail while moaning that "being dead hurts." Jason attempts to comfort him by praising the high art of The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later, but the mood crashes when they realize El Presidente’s next mandatory movie assignment is a zombie flick they are both actively trying to avoid. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Ladies and gentlemen.

SPEAKER_05 0:57

Hey everybody, this is Jason and Justin Merritt. We're on Dystopian Drive and now this is a little different tonight. We're not doing our normal movie review episode. We're asked to just chit-chat, just talk to each other, and by way of us doing that, you'll be entertained. At least that's the theory. You know, Justin, I'm just really having a hard time with this. When you know what I'm not yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:21

Listen, it's okay because you know, President Scott wants us to be together because we are some of the last people on earth. So it's okay to just not have an agenda sometimes.

SPEAKER_05 1:33

I guess you're right. You know, I rely before the end of the world, I wasn't naturally like a very social person. Like, I don't know if you remember COVID. I mean, that seems like kind of small potatoes compared to what we're dealing with now. But back then, I was not that I was happy about the tragedy and the loss of life or anything like that, but I became kind of accustomed to not being very social, not being out all that much. So now that it's the end of the world and suddenly I'm pushed into the limelight to entertain the handful of people that are maybe able to capture this signal and see our show. And even though that may just be a handful of people, I'm kind of get that anxiety. Like, you know, what's harder than anything is talking in front of people. Now, if I remember something about your background, isn't there a period of time where you would get on stage and talk to people? And that's something you didn't seem to have a problem with.

SPEAKER_06 2:30

No, not at all. In fact, it it's it's always been my dream to speak in front of people uh and uh show them my so motivational speaker of some kind.

SPEAKER_05 2:47

Yes, yes. So that's really so how did who did you model your hopes and dreams after? Is there one in particular that you sort of aspired to be? I I don't know their name, so if you could help me.

SPEAKER_06 3:02

Sure. Uh Christopher Hitchens, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 3:08

Now, did he show his erection at some point?

SPEAKER_06 3:12

Thank you for uh he did not. He was more of an acerbic uh no compromises asshole. And so that's what I model myself after, although I'm not sure it works. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 3:28

That's interesting. You've had a very colorful I think so. I mean, and if even if I'm not telling the truth, I'm gonna sell it like I am, because that's what the people want to hear. They don't need sincerity. Look where sincerity got us. Whatever happens. I mean, I don't even think we're ever gonna know. All I know is is that I live in this like 12 by 12 bunker that's been like separated from the world, and you're on in another section of the bunker. I don't even really know if you call it a bunker. Maybe it's more of a I don't know. Um something better than a bunker, bigger than a bunker. It's like an Airbnb. Like it yeah, it looks like an Airbnb. Yours was fashioned to be like actually livable. I don't even really know if this portion that I'm in was the part that survivors were supposed to live in.

SPEAKER_06 4:29

I'm gonna guess no. That's where I think they kept the rocket. They didn't really care about people.

SPEAKER_05 4:35

Yeah. But hey, I'm making it work. I won't tell you what I'm doing to make it work because it it would make you sad. This is kind of like the highlight of my week or month when these things happen. Otherwise, I'm just crawling around back here coughing from dusk, slipping in mystery seepage, and you know. In fact, I gotta call Dr. Jericho. There's a big uh puddle of mystery seepage that's filling up in the back here, and it doesn't smell good the way the others do.

SPEAKER_06 5:04

Gotta be careful. If the seepage don't smell right, don't rub it on nothing. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_05 5:11

That's right. That should be the tagline. You know.

SPEAKER_06 5:16

If it don't smell right, don't rub it on nothing.

SPEAKER_05 5:23

If you don't mind, I'm gonna share that with Dr. Jericho when he makes his his visit. I don't mind at all. And I don't know what we could get out of that because I don't I don't think we're doing money yet. Do you think we'll ever have money again?

SPEAKER_06 5:36

And I I don't think there's trademark law either. So that's true.

SPEAKER_05 5:39

So we can pretty much say anything we want. Fuck. Uh instead of Dystopian Drive In, which is a pretty damn good name, I think, but why don't we uh fuck, let's call it uh you know, Star Wars.

unknown 5:53

You know.

SPEAKER_05 5:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:58

I also really like the Mystery Seepage cut podcast. The Cod Past.

SPEAKER_05 6:07

Mystery Seepage Cod Past. Mark that down. It's gonna be something at some point. It's gonna come back up. Mystery Seepage Cod Past at some point. Maybe that's what these episodes will be called. Instead of just John, we'll call these a cod past. I like it. Nobody else is a good thing. All right. Well, the one thing that uh President Scott did ask of us today in an effort to engage with our listeners, by the way, I have no idea how many people are listening, but I'm sure it's dozens. Tens of dozens. I don't even know how many people have actually survived. So um he asked for us to um engage with some of the listeners, and in doing so, we've actually received some fan mail by way of email, and we actually have some recorded message.

SPEAKER_06 7:03

Yeah, we were actually incredibly validating.

SPEAKER_05 7:06

Yeah, yeah. There's actually people that are listening to some of this stuff, this whatever this has become. So I'd say, despite um, you know, Coach Pelletier's efforts to try and improve, I think we did this on our own, buddy. I think this was this was our doing. So what do you say? When again, Frenchie Pelletier freaking Kenny Rogers look alike.

SPEAKER_06 7:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:35

Um, all right, so well, I say we get started. There's a couple messages, and uh, I'm gonna go through it. So the first one that we have here is from Harmon Demeritus, and uh let's give it a listen.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

I assume you'll fix this incredibly long pause in pose. I'm just gonna assume that. What was that? I assume you'll fix this incredibly long pause in post. So you didn't hear anything.

SPEAKER_06 8:19

No, I did not.

unknown 8:20

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 8:21

Was I supposed to or just read?

SPEAKER_05 8:24

You actually were supposed to hear it.

SPEAKER_06 8:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 8:28

Um, so that is something. Oh wait, I know why. Hold on, here we go. I'm gonna do it again. Ready?

SPEAKER_06 8:34

Alright, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_05 8:35

I I realized it was in preview mode. Here we go. Hey, this is Harmond. Really stoked that President Scott forced you guys into doing the show. I'm a big fan of movies.

SPEAKER_04 8:47

Is there any chance you'd review television series from back in the day, too? Peace out.

SPEAKER_05 8:55

So no issues with the audio there?

SPEAKER_06 8:57

No, that was perfect. Okay. In fact, that that's a very decent question. I mean, there are some sick, you know, if we if we're weighing things out on a on a you know, cultural significance basis, there's you know, breaking bad and madmen, and so many things that really inform you about the the the time in the the before times.

SPEAKER_05 9:20

Yeah, in the before times, and you just happened to name two of my uh just absolute favorites in the before times, madman and breaking bad. That was like that was like the I mean it I'm it's not my hot take, but I it well, you know, here's my hot take. I don't know about you, but just for me, Breaking Bad is maybe one of the best shows that was ever.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

Wow. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:47

And I don't know about you, but for me, Brian Cranstead did some of the most amazing acting that I've ever seen in a television series.

SPEAKER_06 9:59

Yeah, I what I remember, because I'm not a I'm not a you know, like uh somebody who knows like every undulation of the arc over the many seasons. But what I remember is that Breaking Bad felt like an event. It still felt like event television. Yeah, you know, and we were deep in I don't remember the years, but we were deep into the naughties, certainly. Yeah, and it still felt like an event, like you had to watch it in order to talk about it the next day. And yeah, those things just don't happen anymore. The last thing I can really remember is Game of Thrones, and we all know what happened with Game of Thrones.

SPEAKER_05 10:40

Yeah, there were lots of undulations going on in that arc. But to answer your question, Harmon, um absolutely. I don't see, I mean, what do you think? I think that would be perfect. Like the shows that you just mentioned, those of that ilk, those of that ilk the shows of that ilk, I would definitely I would definitely talk about in our in our dystopian drive-in show. And maybe we just have it like be like small screen edition or the streamers or something like that, or like television cod past, something along those lines.

SPEAKER_06 11:27

Yeah. It's a cod past, it's a it's a past cod. Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_05 11:34

Yeah, because it is in the past, and you know, content on demand. Oh, that's way better than what I was gonna say. Obviously, I was gonna go for the crate. But so Harmon Demeritus, the answer is absolutely, buddy. All right, moving on. We have an email from someone called Hottie ThoughtBody 42069. Can you believe it?

SPEAKER_06 12:03

Evocative.

SPEAKER_05 12:05

It is a little evocative. I'll read it. Yo, big fan of both of you, really, truly. Like, big ups for the show. You guys are hilarious and surprisingly know your stuff. Thanks, Hottie Thought Body 42069. Especially Justin. Well, that's nice. There you go. Yo, have either of you ever taken a punch to the face? And if not, would you be up for it?

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Especially Jason. Big fan. Thanks.

SPEAKER_05 12:37

Huh. Kind of took a weird turn there at the end. It was almost like they wanted to punch me in the face. Now that is an interesting question. Have you ever taken a punch to the face? Yes. Are you a man who's had to fight? Have you ever been in fisticuffs?

SPEAKER_03 12:56

More than once, yes. Me too. So I guess we're men. I guess so.

SPEAKER_06 13:06

Because it was not a slap fight, and neither one of us lost our bras, so we were men, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Oh. Oh. The only girl fights I've seen have involved clawing like like kitty cats until all the clothes come off.

SPEAKER_05 13:29

And don't you think by the time the clothes come off that's when things get really brutal. Like that's then that's a fight I would not want to be a part of. Like I think they go at it more brutally than any man ever could.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:52

Okay. Well thanks for that haughty thought body for twenty sixty-nine. I think we answered your question that we've both been punched in the face, both been in fights.

SPEAKER_06 14:06

And uh I got a concussion during a fight once.

SPEAKER_05 14:10

Holy shit. No, I'm not really up for it, I would say. I don't think Justin's up for it either.

SPEAKER_06 14:16

Um the end times with no promise of healthcare, you need to be very careful about future concussions, I would say.

SPEAKER_05 14:29

Yeah. Well, and plus, I mean, like, you don't know whether you're fighting somebody who's been infected with some sort of virus or end times virus, yeah. Yeah, end times virus or uh some sort of uh radioactive situation. I mean, we again, folks, we don't know what happened. I don't think we can stress that enough. All right. When it's the end of the world, and then 24 hours later, we're still like some of us are just coming to gaining consciousness, waking up in a bunker, and then told by President Scott that we have to do a show on movie reviews, there hasn't been a lot of time to unpack and figure out what in the hell actually happened out there.

SPEAKER_06 15:13

So true. So true.

SPEAKER_05 15:16

And I guess that's just not our place. So what we're gonna do is try and bring you the movie reviews, the funny, and occasionally a little heart, a little soul, and some tears. And then sometimes we're gonna get down and dirty and get all naughty. Alright. Alright, so now we're gonna now we have another caller. This is Miriam Taube. Let's see what she has to say.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

Hi, this is Miriam Taube. Would your show ever run a special on Dr. Jericho's mystery seepage? I'm over in Bunker 132 and it smells something awful. I could use some seepage pronto. I'd do just about anything to obtain around five vials of seepage. I mean, it really reeks in here. It's like if a horse died in the middle of a cabbage patch. But if the cabbage patch were actually just dying rotten chubby babies. Okay, anyway, love the show.

SPEAKER_05 16:26

Fortunately, yes, I do have a vial of Dr. Jericho's Mystery Seepage. However, I do use that for the bunker, for as I've mentioned, um, it's getting a little rank in here. And uh I'm surrounded by filth and my own body odors uh 247-365. So unfortunately, we wouldn't be able to help with that with that said. I am in close contact with Dr. Jericho. As I've mentioned, he does come by sometimes. There's a seepage situation happening in the bunker. He's gonna uh procure some, test it, see what can be made. Maybe maybe maybe that'll work out for you. I'll put in a word for you, Miriam, but there's one thing that I'm really gonna have to have you consider. You said you'll do just about anything right now. I'm not gonna ask you to do anything. But if you want some of those seepers, Dr. Jericho just might have to. You might just have to do whatever Dr. Jericho asks.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

He can be quite cruel. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 17:39

Alright. So, Miriam, I hope that helps out. Next time we could do without the dead horse's cabbage patch looking like rotten chubby babies. That was a little much for me. Alright, the next one here we have another uh voice message. We're on what, like three or four people now, Buh.

SPEAKER_06 17:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:56

Here we go. This is my friend. Yes, we're friends now, even though we barely knew each other when the show started.

SPEAKER_06 18:04

Um is not a real word. So no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

You know, I just came up with that on the fly. I kind of like it. What do you think?

SPEAKER_06 18:14

I could get used to it.

SPEAKER_05 18:16

Okay, good. It's probably gonna slip. I'll probably slip and say it again sometimes. Um all right, this one is from Novus Dilk. Um see what he has to say.

SPEAKER_04 18:30

Uh hey, longtime listener, first time caller. Uh uh, just wanted to say big fan. Anywho, uh, my question is Jason gives off a real cuckled vibe. Was wondering if if there was any truth to the rumor. Has he been cuckled? Is he more of a stag? Any room for him having a bowl in his life? I'm happy to circle back on this. Thanks.

SPEAKER_05 19:03

Alright, well, first off, I don't know what rumors could possibly be spreading about me and the time and crisis that we're in right now. I mean, why is anybody bothered with who is a cuckold? But I can tell you one thing, I'm definitely not a cuckold. Now, I'm just gonna, just real quick, listeners, go grab some coffee.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

Hey, Justin, what the fuck is a cuckold?

SPEAKER_06 19:30

That is when you're a man who lets other men fuck his wife. Um and the expression is to have to have your woman put the horns upon you, the horns of a gelding, uh you know, bull, uh, because you have no testicles, so that would make you a a cuckold.

SPEAKER_05 19:57

Oh, so that's the rumor that's going around about me in the end times.

SPEAKER_06 20:03

In the end times, where you have no wife. It's so strange that that would be something.

SPEAKER_05 20:09

Yeah, I was just gonna say, like, God rest her soul. Yeah. You know, I was we are we separated well before the end of the world. I mean, it was at least, I don't know, 13, 14 hours before the end of the world, and I'm pretty sure she didn't make it. Um, at least that's what I thought when I sort of walked away from the situation, and then lo and behold, the end of the world. So, you know, kind of got a waste-free with that one, but um, but you know, I just never thought it would come up again. So, yeah, so to your point, whoever is starting this rumor, a novice Dilk, I'll I'll tell you, um, I don't have a wife. You know, she unfortunately perished moments before the end of the world under mysterious circumstances, and unfortunately, there's no law enforcement now to investigate to find out what may have happened. So we'll just have to leave it as a a tragedy that will just never be found out.

SPEAKER_06 21:03

And and just to be clear, you and I we're not looking for a third, right? Right? We're not right.

SPEAKER_05 21:11

No, not not in that capacity. I mean, right, obviously, sometimes President Scott enforces his rule and we have to have guests and stuff like that. If it was just up to us, it would just be the two of us. Because that's what brings the people to the show, not these other yahoos. But anyway, look, I don't have the authority right now to push right. I don't have the authority to push back on President Scott. Now, once we're famous, once we once our stars have risen, there's gonna be some renegotiations happening with this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_06 21:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:45

Yeah. Hells yeah. All right. All right, so for the record, Novus Dilk, not a cuckled, doesn't even have a wife. She like I said, she did.

SPEAKER_03 21:59

She did. And and it happened even before way before the end of the world.

SPEAKER_05 22:04

I'm talking at least eight and a half hours. You know, depending on if the medication kicked in or not. Alright, so um next is uh um uh all right, so next is a caller. It doesn't, I don't have a lot of information here. It just says unknown. Um, but we did intercept the fourth caller, so just gonna play it and listen.

SPEAKER_06 22:32

See what they say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

You're God, my sweet Leonard.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 22:48

Um, okay, well, I don't really I don't really know what this thing I don't really know what to think about that, but I'm gonna play it one more time because I really pick up on what's going on. You're God, my sweet Leon Okay, well uh I I think we just have to come clean, no pun intended, but that was clearly an elderly gentleman um ejaculating. The only other way I can.

SPEAKER_06 23:34

I was an old man fighting prostate cancer.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

Your God, my sweet Linda.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

Okay. This is why I'm still a twelve-year-old.

SPEAKER_05 23:56

Oh, that was funny. Alright, well, hey, whoever that fourth caller was, you know what? I apparently needed the laugh. It was very gross, but it did make me laugh. So thanks for that. I mean, there's absolutely nothing of value there. There's nothing we can say.

SPEAKER_06 24:15

No question to be answered, except except in this post-healthcare environment, it is very important to fight prostate cancer. But there is a link. There's a linkage. So good on you. Good on you, unknown.

SPEAKER_05 24:32

You know what? Just just ha uh you know, being clearly advanced age and still being active, good for him. Yeah. I mean, it sounded like it was just a very powerful, uh, explosive, you know, uh climax. So good for him. All right. We should all be so lucky at his advanced age. Yeah, yeah. Not the drizzling that's going on over here. Alright, so all right, the next thing we have another caller, and this one is called Backdoor Mutant. I mean, I don't really understand what's going on with people. You got Novus Dilk asking about cuckleds, you got this old guy that just decided to crank one out and record it, Miriam Tobe saying she would do anything for seepage, hottie thought body for 2069. I mean, there's a lot of sex going on out there. It's a very horny Armageddon.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

That's what I don't understand.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

Yeah. It's the end of the world. And there's super fun.

SPEAKER_05 25:40

All right. Let's just hope there's no trademark out there. Let's hope that sticks. Because Arium is gonna come down like a fucking anvil.

SPEAKER_06 25:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:51

Alright. Fifth caller um is uh, well, I mean, another one, backdoor mutant. I mean, I think we all know what that means. Yeah, something to do with the greetings. This is backdoor mutant. This is my moniker henceforth, and I have the right to do so. My quandary. In listening to your program, it has become evident, at least to me, that Justin's backstory seems to vacillate between one sort of job title to the next. Yeah, I guess you could expound on that now.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_05 26:31

Could he clarify what in fact he did for a living? Okay, okay, so as I was gonna say before the end of the world, or must we continue to ponder? Now it's yeah. Right. In futility. One love to President Scott. Oh, well, President Scott supporter. That was at least that part was brief. Um, alright, so look, I've noticed it. We've even touched on it tonight, in which it sounded like your backstory may have been a little different than what we've heard before. So, you know, give us uh give us some uh updates on that. Let's dive deep a little into it.

SPEAKER_06 27:17

Fine. I have no problem talking about this. It's total BS. This is classic fake news. Okay, so I have been and have always said I have been a telemarketing genius who started doing telehealth erectile dysfunction pills, and you know that's how I made my fortune and was able to rent this end-of-the-world bunker at the uh just at the right time. I have been clear about this. I have never said anything other than that. I've built my my fortune on boner pills, and I'm not afraid to say it. Hmm.

SPEAKER_05 27:58

Alright, let's roll the tape. Oh, I'm just being told by no one that we we can't roll the tape. So I guess we just have to take your word for it. Well, all right. Alright. Alright, backdoor mutant. We're sorry we couldn't uh verify that for you. It sounds like you are either listening to the wrong show, or you maybe you're just one of those nut job conspiracy theorists. But I would like you to stay tuned, continue to listen, and you know, hit us up if you hear something the next time we touch on his background. Seem to remember something about like weird bakeries or something like that, but maybe I just imagine that. Yeah.

unknown 28:42

True.

SPEAKER_05 28:42

All right. Uh the next one, the next few I I can't see the names of, but um I'm just gonna uh take the risk and uh press play. Here we go.

SPEAKER_04 28:56

Hey uh just circling back on the whole Jason being a cockle thing. Any truth to it? And furthermore, you're interested, hit me up.

SPEAKER_05 29:12

I mean, okay, so one thing that I want to this guy needs to like like take a few inches back from the microphone. There's a lot of mouth noises, and secondly, dude, novus dilk, you need to maybe drink some water or something, because those lips are really dry. All I hear is all this smacking and it's just it's disgusting. Lickity smackity. I have nothing more to say about the fact that I you know it's to try and prove to anyone that I was a cuckled, as I've made it very clear in order to be a cuckled, I would have to be partnered with somebody. I'd have to be married or have a girlfriend or something. And as you can see, I live in a bunker by myself. Alright? Now, what may have happened before the end times, before the end of the world, before those twelve hours before I lost the love of my life in a tragic circumstance that no one's ever really gonna be able to figure out how it happened.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

Did I dabble? Who knows? Who knows? Not for me to say.

SPEAKER_05 30:19

And stop asking about it, Nova Stilk. Alright. Next one. Uh email message. This is an email message from PR for Life Borica. Oh, okay, so Puerto Rican, um, Hispanic, Latin, Latin person out there. So uh welcome. Um, glad you're listening. And uh I don't know Spanish, but uh I don't know if we do Spanish captions or subtitles or if we offer anything like that anymore. I really don't know. Uh um, so uh here's the message. My favorite movie is bloodsucking freaks and wondering when you'll cover it on your show. Um well, strangely, I actually know what this movie is. And um I'll never cover it. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And um if it's up to me, this film would not exist. It's disturbing and I must know more.

SPEAKER_06 31:24

I must know more.

SPEAKER_05 31:26

The only here's what I in all honesty, here's what I remember. I remember I watched this movie when I was a younger lad. Obviously, this is before the end of the world. Honestly, it's probably on VHS. If there's an internet out there, people Google it. I don't have time to explain what VHS is. I just don't. All right, but for a time, that was the predominant way in which we viewed movies at home. And some friends, I won't name names, said, Hey, got this movie called Bloodsucking Freak, supposed to be gory. I'm not into gory movies, but obviously we watched it. But there was one issue that I had with this movie. There was this like little torturer guy. His name was Ralphus, and I hated Ralphus. If I ever saw the actor who played Ralphus, I would tell him to his face that I hated it. It disturbed me. So for those reasons, I don't know who you are, PR for life. I happen to believe that Ralphus was also Hispanic, so this better not be Ralphus trying to bring the one movie in his whole entire career back into prominence.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

Never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_05 32:34

Never gonna happen. Never. Alright. Um alright, so there's a seventh caller. No information. I'm gonna play it.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

Uh hey, it's Nova still again. Um still wondering if we can drill down. Circle back on the cuckle thing. What's it look like at a 35,000 feet vantage point?

SPEAKER_05 33:05

I don't want to boil the ocean on this one, so if you find the bandwidth, love the touch base. Totally down to take this offline, so ping me. I cannot stand this guy. Nova Stilk, if you're listening, look, up until this point, we've appreciated your patronage that you're listening, but I'm gonna have to ask you to stop calling in or at least get some chapstick or something, you know, or hydrate. Learn to hydrate before you call back in and record these messages because you sound frickin' disgusting. Justin, you have anything you want to add?

SPEAKER_06 33:40

Well, it just sounds to me like we need to stack hands on this and you know, find some new synergies between this whole cuckled uh obsession that uh novus clearly has, along with uh just let's just put a pin in this. You know, a parking lot, if you will, uh, to discuss this at some later point. Hopefully. Never.

SPEAKER_05 34:15

Yeah, let's try and leverage never. That's what I would like to say. Alright, Novus. Um, I think that's gonna do it in terms of any uh fan mail that we have, because um, I don't think I can have another message about me being a cuckold. And I mean, like it though the mix of like the cuckled, fetish, perversion, being merged with this like lame corporate jargon is just really disturbing and gross to me. But bottom line, that lip smacking you you haven't won me won any favors today. Yeah, that's disgusting. Wow. Okay, well, I mean, look, I'm ecstatic that we have even this number of listeners, even though one of them is convinced that I'm a cuckled, which obviously can't be the case. Um, but yeah, at the end of the day, the end of the world has made a lot of these people really, really horny. I mean, what's your horny?

SPEAKER_03 35:12

What's your level of horniness right now? High? Very high?

SPEAKER_05 35:24

Damn. I got none of that. No, no, I'm just I'm just trying to make it day by day.

SPEAKER_06 35:31

Well, that must be quite free.

SPEAKER_05 35:33

I mean, I'm not in the Airbnb like you are, so I would like to bring up something before we wrap up here.

SPEAKER_06 35:42

Please. Yeah. Um. So I am famously not a fan of horror movies. Famously. Yeah. My wife makes fun of me for it. Um, they're just not for me. Now, that does not include movies. Here's the thing. I do not get like I do like horror when it is grounded in reality and when the when the people in it make smart choices. Okay. I I liked Scream, even though that didn't fit all of the criteria.

unknown 36:25

Right.

SPEAKER_06 36:25

But these were these are ultimately these were these were two people under the mask. Wasn't a supernatural, you know, like um what ruined me for horror was Knight of the Living Dead, one of the mini versions. It was the one without the main guy in it. Yeah. It was the one where uh, you know, they opened a some sort of can of some sort of barrel of stuff that had Vietnam era hooji boogie in it, and it and it killed the whole town. Right. And then, you know, everybody became a zombie after that. And I watched that when I was a kid. It was on television, so it had to be all the really gross stuff was edited out, but just the idea of zombies has always scared me ever since. I have no explanation for it. You know, when the more unrealistic it is, the scarier it is for me, the more I think about it. Yeah, there was a something like weapons or sixth sense or you know, whatever you wherever you draw the line, no problem. No problem with those.

SPEAKER_05 37:37

And and the ones you're talking about too are sort of like looped into this new genre of what's considered like elevated horror. So it's horror, and there may even be like gore, but there's it's done in a on a um like an au tour, it's directed in like sort of like a film au tour tradition versus it just being like just coverage and a bunch of gross shit and a poor script, and like these are things that are almost like high art, they just happen to also be trying to scare the daylights out of you. And so I I definitely am a big fan. I'm I'm obviously differ a little bit. I did not always used to be such a fan of horror, but um obviously now it's one of my favorites. Like, there's almost nothing that gets the the the chills or like I get excited if I see a really effective like trailer for a horror movie, I get super excited. Like, okay, I know I'm gonna go into this and feel a little unsafe, and I like that feeling, which I can't explain. Um, why'd you bring it up? I'm curious. Why did you bring up the horror movie uh topic?

SPEAKER_06 38:46

I'm not sure. It came up earlier in in the conversation about about horror movies, and I wanted to throw that in there because not I'm not averse to all horror. It's just there's this certain childhood hangups I have about undead things that makes me well it was probably because we talked about the bloodsucking freaks.

SPEAKER_05 39:08

Um it was there was uh in in the same vein, there was a movie, and I think it was like Return of the Living Dead or one of those. It was another one of those. Yeah, yeah. And there's this one zombie who I think almost I think it was like covered in tar or something, and all of the entrails and everything. I think it was almost like an animatronic face or something. I just remember even now when I see that play in a clip all these years later, and I think this must have been in the 80s when the movie came out, it still really frightens me. Even though I know it's fake, it doesn't even look that great. But I but that feeling that I had, I'm assuming you're experiencing the same thing, that feeling that you had back when it when it occurred, or when you saw it for the first time, it just those feelings never go away.

SPEAKER_06 39:56

Yes, and it's the reason I slept on things like The Walking Dead, and um that one of my favorite book series of all time, nine books of expanse. Uh a big part of it, you know, was written during the everything's gotta have zombies in it phase. You know, because remember, there was like a good 15 years where it was like zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie. Oh, yeah, everything. And there was a zombie portion of that book series, and I almost gave up on it because of that. I think it was Night of the Returning, Night of the Return of the Living Dead is the movie that ruined me. Yeah. And the thing that ruined me was there was this really unconvincing, but for me, to at the time totally worked, um zombie that was just a head and a torso and a spine that sort of wiggled back and forth like a tail. And she's and she said that being dead hurts. And it creeped me out so bad, I just you know. And Andrea loves to make fun of me for it because I because uh yeah, I just cannot watch.

SPEAKER_05 41:11

Yeah, I um I would just you mentioned The Walking Dead, so I was an enormous fan. Like that that came around the same time as Mad Men and Breaking Bad, which we talked about at the top of the show, and and that was another one that I would consider like in that upper echelon, at least for the first few years. That show, obviously being directed by Frank Derabont, who's just a master filmmaker, and he hadn't really been doing films for a while. And he did the first uh season and he had some amazing plans for a bunch of other seasons. I know there was it's long been reported now that there was a dispute over the budget of the show they ended up. Yeah. But man, with him behind the wheel, that show I was uh as excited about that as anything that I had been watching. And plus, we'd never seen it on television before. It was the first time where it was ushering it in horror on a weekly basis on television, which just real there really wasn't that market before. It was movies.

SPEAKER_06 42:08

You had to be nobody was safe. Nobody was safe, you know.

SPEAKER_05 42:12

Nobody was safe, and and it was just a beautiful, I mean, like, man, I devoured that thing when it came out, and I was so into it. And I wasn't really like you. I wasn't what scared me in the past, it was never really zombies. It wasn't I it was kind of hokey, the the thought of zombies in the past because of those earlier movies, which I know like the original Night of the Living Dead is considered groundbreaking, but it was also you know extremely low budget. I mean, and so you know, for me, I didn't appreciate it like the other people like that of the time probably did. And all of the following movies, none of them really lived up to it to me. They all seemed oaky, they all seemed like they were really just there for the gore. They weren't really trying to tell like any kind of story. Um until um actually the one that I think impressed me the most in the beginning was there was Twenty Eight Days Later, which starred Killian Murphy and was and was uh directed by um Danny Boyle of like train spotting fame and stuff like that. That was the very first one that sort of like legitimized it for me, and it was just in a very terrifying movie. And then also um Zack Snyder's version of the Knight of the Living Dead, I think it was Return of the Knight of the Living Dead that he did. Um I'm I'm probably wrong with the title, but Zack Snyder, who would later do like 300 and all of these DC movies that did not do well, um, his his version of that movie is actually extremely effective and very well done. And um it still has his flair for slow-mo and you know, interesting sort of like ultra-stylist cinematography, but it was a very well-done movie, yeah. Worth worth seeing. Uh, but I know I mean if you're into into that. But um, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 43:57

But so so new things like The Ring and you know uh The Haunting and stuff like that drives me nuts. I'd rather watch C-SPAN than watch like so it's interesting. It's the supernatural stuff that I hate the most.

SPEAKER_05 44:16

I gotcha. And so you know, of course, that uh the next movie that we have to do is a zombie movie.

SPEAKER_06 44:23

I do indeed.

SPEAKER_05 44:24

Yeah, have have you watched it yet?

SPEAKER_06 44:26

I have not.

SPEAKER_05 44:27

I haven't either. I'm trying to avoid it because I saw the the the one prior, and um I was so disappointed with it because I had seen because I'm a huge fan of 28 Days Later, so the thought that this was related, I'd already knew they'd they'd taken it in such a weird direction. Weird direction. Weird that it ceased to be even remotely scary anymore. So um, but yeah, hey, look at that, guys. We still talked about the movie for a little bit. I could go on and on. Me too. Uh, but we will stop it for now. But so thanks everybody for joining. We hope you enjoyed the just John, and if in future episodes we're gonna call it, you know, the Cod Past uh with Justin and Jason. Dystopian drive in Cod Past. And um, yeah, so we'll do more of these. So you're gonna be hearing a lot more from us. So thanks for listening, and we'll talk to you soon. Thank you. Bye. Bye bye.