The 4 Buckets That End Daily Parenting Battles

Not every behavior your kid does needs a lecture, and trying to fix everything can burn you out. In this episode, Rick and Madeline break down the four "behavior buckets" every parent should know: behaviors to grow, small stuff to let go, patterns to teach through, and crisis moments where safety comes first. Plus: the five-year test for picking your battles, Hungry Hungry Hippos "cheating," and the pencil story Rick would rather forget. New episodes every week as we help you build better humans.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome back to the Starborn Parenting Podcast. I'm Rick Cabina.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

And I'm Madeline Jurgensen.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Madeline. I just was playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with a four and a half year old. And what she kept doing the way you went, I don't know if you've played that game before. Have you played it? Yes. Okay. It's a classic. And for those of you who might not have played it, you have all of you got these four plastic hippos, and then there's these red little marbles, and then one yellow marble. And if you get the yellow marble, you win. So my dear little darling Drew kept taking that yellow marble and she would put it in front of one of the things and she'd be like, I want to be the yellow hippo. And she wanna be, I want to be this one. And guess what? She won nine out of ten times. And in this moment, this is a little bit of, I mean, is it cheating? Is it, you know, making the game a little bit easier for to win? However, you, you know, how do you classify that behavior? If it is cheating, how do I deal with it as a parent? And this is something that if you're a parent or grandparent, this is just the stuff that you're gonna come across all the time. How do you classify these behaviors? Is it bad? Do you intervene or don't you intervene? And that's gonna be the topic of what we're going to go through today.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Great, I'm excited. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

All right. So we have four buckets. Consider these four buckets. And the reason why we have to come up with these four buckets is when you're a parent, kids are just uh trying to figure out how to live in this world. Now, this is what it's about being a kid. You don't understand the social rules, you don't know if you say something, if it's mean or not. And especially this is with the younger kids. And then as you age, there's power dynamics, then there's humor, and part of the way of being funny is saying things that are maybe inappropriate. Well, that can be okay in some aspects, other times it can't be. And and plus raising kids also, you have values that you want to instill in kids. You want them to be well-liked, you want them to do certain things. And we need a way of being able to understand that this is when teaching is required. This might be, you know what, just let that go. It's not gonna hurt you, it's not gonna hurt anyone else. And uh I guess when you think about it, we as parents have to decide what are these buckets. We'll go over them in a second, but uh I can think back to a story with one of my kids, and I have uh downstairs, I work out, I had a little home gym, and I would have this pencil in a notebook, and I always always write things, and that pencil was gone every day. And I would tell my kids who are down there, like, don't take this pencil, this is dad's. I want to use it, I don't want to be looking for it. And I started getting angry over this. I know it sounds like a stupid thing, but this is where we are in life. And it's like, this is the one thing. I want my freaking pencil here. Don't take this pencil because I want to write it. And you're downstairs, you don't want to go upstairs again. As I'm recounting this story, believe me, I've gone over a lot of times. But one time that pencil was gone, and one of my kids was down there. I'm like, Did you take this pencil? I told you not to take this pencil. And uh I was angry, and then you know, there was little tears welling up in the eyes, and I'm like, just leave these pencils here. And after uh this child goes upstairs, guess what? That pencil was on the floor. So here I was getting angry over something, over nothing, and uh I raised my voice, upset one of my kids uh over nothing. And I'm sure you could relate to to stories like that where you either overreacted or you underreacted to something.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And my husband and I are, we kind of always go back to what are our like, what are our moral pillars in our household? What are the behaviors that we really want to see in this moment? And what are ones that we can just let go? I mean, this happens at the dinner table all the time where it's like, should my daughter be eating soup with a fork? Probably not. But like, is it a new like what was today already a tough day? Like, is she eating something? Sure. Then we're just gonna let it go with the fork. And like, yeah, if she continues to do this day after day and it becomes a problem, then we can address it. But these one-off times where it's like, whatever, just eat it with a fork. I don't care. But yeah, I mean, when these behaviors are gonna come up, I also, you know, you start getting really frustrated. And I think when one thing that I noticed by myself is that if if my reaction to that behavior is disproportionate, like if a child's eating with a fork, should I really be getting that upset about it? Probably not. That probably means that I'm tearing frustration from lots of previous behaviors that day. And it has nothing to do with my daughter eating soup with a fork. So that's the time to just let that one go.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Yeah. This is exactly it. You know, we want to help people understand that you can triage behaviors and you don't need to treat all behaviors the same way. And I wish that I had this framework and that I did it because I'd have been a better parent. But, you know, that's the thing about life, and that's the thing about everything. If you want to get better at something, you need to educate yourself. And even though I was a behavior analyst, I mean, hell, when I was raising my kids, I was a professor and I taught this stuff. And these were things that uh you can't escape gravity. It's like you, you know, you're the physics professor. Just because you know a lot about physics doesn't mean you know you're gonna start floating away. And it's the same thing with behavior science. Just because you know a lot about it and you could teach it to other people doesn't mean you can wield the proper tools in the moment. You need to teach yourself that. And of course, through time, I learned how to do this better. So so these are the there's four things that we want to talk about today and give parents this, these four buckets so that they can understand what you should do. And this first bucket is one that nobody talks about. Most of the time in parenting, you're talking about the other three buckets, which are, hey, there's behaviors that we want to get rid of. The first bucket is called growth behaviors. And these are things that we want the kids to do more of. And you and I just had a long conversation about this the last time. You may have heard the phrase, catch them being good. We talked about tag don't nag, which it comes out of behavior science and it talks about pick the behavior that you want to see more of, tag it, reinforce it so that that you tell the person that, hey, you're doing this right. And I'm sure you can think of many different things like this, but if we don't understand that there are behaviors that we need to explicitly look at, then we're gonna miss them.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yep. Yeah. One of the stories that comes to my mind with this one is that my uh my mom came to visit um maybe a year ago or six months ago, I forget when it was, but she, my daughter at the time, my older daughter had just kind of started to put words into sentences, starting requesting more instead of just pointing and making sounds. Like she was starting to really communicate. And my mom immediately started trying to add please and thank yous to it. So my daughter would say, you know, banana, and my mom would say, please, banana. And I had to kind of pull her off to the side and ask her not to do that because my mom is great with kids, she's wonderful, you know, I I love that she can come and help. But my daughter was just kind of starting to ask using words. And I didn't want to add on this additional thing to her right now. Like I wanted to reinforce the fact that she was starting to use words. And so when she asked for a banana, she got a banana. And now that she's older, we're adding in those pleas and thank yous. But it's just it wasn't necessary at that time.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

The definition of growth behaviors is simply stuff we want more of. You wanted more language, and moms and and grandparents, as I am now one, uh, you you're not with the kids all the time, so you might miss out on things. So that's a perfect story. Mom, uh, your mom doing what great moms, grandmas do. You want to always shape up behavior, but there's a time and a place. So I I really like that idea. I think back to when I had kids, and one of the things that I I explicitly looked at is do they play nice together? And when they played nice together, I said something, I would randomly break out a popsicle. Like I would reward that behavior in some capacity because guess what happens? What's the opposite of not playing nice together? Fighting, arguing. As a matter of fact, back to my Hungry Hippo story, young Rowan, who he he's uh two and a half, he doesn't understand, he kind of understands the game, and that is you get the yellow marble and you win. So he would just pick the yellow marble up, and then we can't play the game. And then so Drew gets upset and he just doesn't get it. And so this happened like two days in a row with the hungry hippo. Being able to reward a behavior so that you don't have that fighting, and in in this particular instance, uh, he's just a little bit too young for that game, so it's a little challenging to teach him that. But that was a perfect, very fresh instance of of the fighting that you want to avoid. And and all kids are gonna do it. Catch them being good, reward those behaviors.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Yeah, that's so that's so important. Like reinforcing those sibling relationships uh early on will help keep them, you know, good friends for life. And my with my uh older daughter, she's just loves on my younger daughter so hard. Like all she wants to do is just hold her and cuddle her and lay on top of her, but the baby's only like four months old. So it's like that's a that's a that's a heavy person, like a little a two and a half year old to be all two-year-old uh to be laying on top. And so we have to kind of shape that behavior. Well, like I want to enforce the idea that she loves her sister and wants to cuddle her and and be with her, but it's it's sort of like shaping that behavior of, oh, like let's hold baby this way, or you can touch her, you can pat her on her belly, or you can give her kisses on her head, maybe not on her eyeballs. And you know, it's like close, but just shifting it a little bit, but still trying to enforce that like positive sibling relationships.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

This this is something that all parents should do. They should have a list of behaviors that they want to reward. And there should be like if it's a hot five or a hot ten list, I'm looking for these things today. I loved when my kids would entertain themselves by reading books. Yeah, you could go downstairs, and back then it was the uh the GameCube when I had kids, and they could they could play video games, but I'd rather have them reading books. And things like cleaning up after dinner. I that was another thing that you know my wife would uh clean up the dishes, I would sometimes clean up the dishes, but having the kids do it taught them skills. So these were things that we could have done as parents, and sometimes we would do it just because we're in a hurry, but having them do it, like there's a whole host of behaviors that you need to pick so that they can grow.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah, and I and I love the idea of actually writing it down.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

That's uh because then you you're kind of holding yourself accountable. It's a time for you and your husband or wife to get aligned with what your what your behavior's looking for. And uh because two heads is better than one when you're trying to reinforce these.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Yeah. And this is part of the Starborn app, which there could be other apps. If you don't want to have an app to track it, we live in an era of digital magic. Just pull open a Google Sheet or whatever helps you, or like you said, just write it down. Okay, let's talk about the second bucket. These are called low impact habits. Think about this as the small stuff. This is something I'm gonna admit I'm guilty of, and I have done this my whole life. I bite my nails. And I don't do it in public because I realize it's a bad habit, but when I'm nervous, I bite my nails. And it's something that because I've always done it by myself, no one, no parent was there to really correct that. But if you're a parent and you see your kids biting your nails, is that something that you should intervene with? Now, the fact that I bite my nails hasn't affected my life in any way. Is that something, if you see a nail biter, something that you should intervene? Sometimes kids just will figure this out, like, oh, if uh, or picking your nose, like, well, maybe that is something that starts to bleed into the the next bucket that we talk about. But there are some behaviors that are going to be shaped up by kids. If you're on a playground or you're with your friends and you do something like that, what's the first thing they're gonna say? Ooh, gross, you're picking your nose. And then you're socially punished for doing those things. So some of these things will work their way out. And the small stuff, we need to identify this and understand is this something that we should intervene with?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it reminds me I worked with a client once who she was entering middle school, so a little bit older, um, but she had more severe symptoms of autism, and she had a little stuffies that she would carry around with her all the time. And we just let it go because it was something that was comforting to her and she really enjoyed having them around. But she was starting to enter that middle school where kids are gonna be less, less okay with you walking around with a stuffed animal. We don't want her to become more socially isolated than she was because kids thought she was weird or something and um start teasing her. So instead of having her completely well, we had two kids like this. One of them was a was a boy, and he carried around like all these action figures, toys, and we got him to leave them at the um at in like the office. So he'd come in off the bus. He had like a special bed in the principal's office that he got to put the toys into, and then he went on the rest of his day. But for the girl, she had a little bit more severe symptoms of autism. And so instead, we gave her a fanny pack and she put the stuffed animal on the fanny pack, so she had it with her, but it was kind of hidden, and then she had a cool fanny pack and like it was no problem. But this is one of those things where it was it was a low impact behavior and it wasn't a problem in elementary school. But then when she got to middle school, it was like, okay, let's let's come up with a new plan, and it worked out really well.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Yeah, that's a great story. The question in this category of low impact behaviors isn't how do I fix it? It's more should I fix it? Is this something that you should intervene with? One of the things that bugs me and this bug me with my kids and even to this day is when you're eating with your mouth open. Should that be something that you should fix or you should not fix? And uh who knows, uh each person that you you share that with is gonna have a different opinion on it. If 99% of the people say, oh yeah, eating with the mouth open is a terrible thing to do, it's gonna have terrible social repercussions, then sure, that can help you understand is this something you should intervene with or not. But if it's not, then should you intervene with it?

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Mm-hmm. Yeah, my daughter had a have like a two weeks where she was putting on multiple pairs of underwear, and we were like, like she'd get dressed and she'd put on like two pairs, two, maybe three pairs of underwear, and we were my husband was like, Should we stop her? And I'm like, it's not hurting her. And it's like, and and then it stopped after about two weeks. Now she wears one again. But there was like a two-week stretch where like she might be wearing four pairs of underwear. I don't know. But like, you know, we let it go.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

There's a five-year test that you could think about as a parent. And I think it's important to say again that you and I are just talking about these buckets. We're not telling parents what goes in this bucket. Each parent needs to decide what goes in the bucket. What are behaviors you want to grow? We talked about that. And what are these low-impact behaviors that you say, sh like, should we really do this? Is this something that I should teach? And the five-year test means will this matter in five years? Your daughter putting on two pairs of underwear for a while, she happened to go out of that. Now, if that were something that were going on in five years, would that really matter? Then maybe you decide, okay, maybe this is something that I should intervene with. Uh, if it's not, you know, you can do very gentle coaching as a parent. There are ways that that we also said that you just mentioned a lot of this low-impact stuff is just gonna go away. Like uh nail biting can go away, thumbsucking, uh, that is another thing that can resolve itself in time. And depending on the behavior, you decide as the parent should this be something that really matters or doesn't matter. And those low impact behaviors are very important because, as these next two buckets we're going to talk about, you don't want to be the parent that's intervene on every single thing. I I had a friend who loves, loved his son, and I was able to watch this friend raise a son through the years. And this parent, this dad, would be on his son constantly for every little thing that he did. Like if he would uh if we were walking somewhere, and what do kids do if there happens to be a sidewalk or there happens to be a ledge, like a wall? They're gonna walk on that wall. Get down from that wall. Do you need to constantly be on like that's a perfect example? Should you be correcting your kid for walking on the wall? Sure, if the wall is eight feet tall, that's a safety issue. But if it's just a little thing, you know, kids do these kinds of things. So I hope that parents, if you're as you're listening to this, you start thinking, here's my bucket of growth behaviors, these are low impact behaviors, and I'm gonna have a serious conversation with myself, with the spouse. Are these things we need to intervene with?

SPEAKER_02 20:00

So smart. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Let's talk about the third bucket. And these are called moderate social disruptors. So we had low impact habits, and these are things that's the small stuff. This is stuff that's not going to blow up your house today, but if you leave it alone, then it's gonna make life very much harder. And uh a perfect example of this is telling lies. I can I've had three kids. We've been through the phase where they were doing sneaky shit, they didn't want to tell me, and they would tell lies to me because they knew if I knew the truth, this would be something that I might react in a way that I would intervene. So they're not doing this stuff, and uh that is something that would be this moderate social disruptor. You don't want people to be telling lies all the time because then what kind of person is that? What kind of relationships are you gonna have as you grow up through the world? And that's something that you would have to intervene with.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Mm-hmm. Yeah, my daughter, she had a bad habit of um she was normally really good with sharing, but she went through this um phase where she would when someone would take something from her, she'd rip it back and scream no. And I was like, nope, we're not doing that. Like if you're gonna communicate with somebody you're feeling, you do it at a normal level, like in that like the screaming is one that's um a big no no in our house. And we we try to stop that because it's just if you bring that to the playground, you bring that to a group of friends, it's just not a good way to to communicate.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Yeah. How about getting attention in ways that you might think are Back in the day, I can clearly remember when I was growing up being around kids who would do things because they wanted attention. And I had one friend who happened to be, how would I say this politely, an exaggerator? He would just tell stories that were either wildly exaggerated or they frankly weren't true. And he was always trying to tell us how rich he was and how rich his parents were. And he's like, yeah, when I'm 16, my parents are going to buy me a Corvette. They already uh have this one picked out for me and blah, blah, blah. Of course, when he was 16, he didn't get a Corvette. He never got a Corvette. But he would tell all these stories all the time. And as we went through high school, this was who this kid became. And this is that five-year rule that we talked about with the five-year test that we talked about with the low impact behaviors. If this is going to be something that's going to affect the person in five years, then yes, this is something you should intervene with. And my friend, I haven't talked with him in many years, but I often think about him and I wonder, where is he in life right now? And is he still having these exaggerated claims? Maybe as you get older, you you grow out of these things. Maybe you don't.

unknown 23:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

And that I think that's the risk with these like moderate social disruptors in that you don't know exactly how, like, you have to really use that five-year plan. Like, how is this going to look in the future? Like, because uh telling kids as a telling lies as a child, you know, your um peers are gonna see that differently than when you're an adult. We had, I worked with this one client once who uh had a real problem with like when you have a conversation with somebody, you would say, you would say some sort of topic, and then instead of talking on that topic, he would immediately switch to something completely different. And we are we were doing a lot of like social skill training with him because as younger kids, when you're like eight, nine, and you if you if you listen to a group of eight or nine-year-olds talk, especially boys, sorry boys, but they're switching topics like every five seconds. Like they're just talking over each other at each other, parallel conversations are going on, and it's not a problem. But if you continue that until they're, you know, high school or an adult and you're trying to have a conversation. If I'm trying to have a conversation with an adult and they switch topics on me every single time I talk, it's you're not going to want to talk to them anymore. And like these are those things you have to think about. Like it might be an okay behavior in elementary school, it becomes less okay in middle school, high school, and beyond.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Yeah. The trap that parents fall into is that no single instance of a behavior is a pattern yet. But if you keep letting it slide, it can become a pattern. Think about a child who steals a cookie or takes a cookie without permission. I guess it's stealing if you say no cookies and they take it. They take it once, okay, fine. They were hungry, they didn't take it. Then you you give them a rule and say, look, you need to ask for permission for cookies. You let it slide, they keep doing it, they keep doing it. After time, this pattern has been rewarded for a very long period of time. And then the children either think that the rule that you said, like, oh, you know, mom and dad aren't going to say anything about this, they never really get upset about it. But now this is something that they just do. They just take things, even though that's a rule. This is something that you should address. The other trap is treating everything like a crisis. And when that happens, you know, kids are gonna either escalate with you or they're gonna shut down. So it's very important to understand when you're in these moderate social disruptors, what do you do in this instance? These are times when you should be teaching. How do you teach somebody who's stealing things? Well, you give them some kind of replacement skill, you give them a social skill, ask for permission. Sometimes you're gonna get no for an answer, sometimes you might get yes for an answer. Let's practice this. I'm gonna tell you no, I'm gonna give you a no answer. And you practice it with them because it's hard getting no for an answer. But if you practice these skills, these replacement behaviors, then it's gonna be much better. So if you have things in this bucket, these are things that you should say, all right, we're we're gonna teach. Again, the purpose of us having this conversation isn't to talk about all the things that you should do in each one of these, uh, when when these behaviors occur in one of these buckets, but just to understand that you as a parent should have this classification so you know, now it's time to teach. I think I'll ignore that thing. Here are some behaviors I want to happen more and more.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

And so what happens now when a behavior you don't want to see it, but it's not a teaching moment. What do we call those?

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Yeah, you have nailed it. We are at the crisis stage. We have crisis behaviors. You can also think about these as high-risk behaviors, but these are things where you need to make sure the child's safe and you are safe, and everyone else around there, if siblings are there or whoever's there, the safety is a precaution. And when these high-risk or crisis behaviors occur, the main thing is you need to keep people safe, you need to de-escalate the situation. We could spend a whole podcast talking about how you do this, but you need to recognize when kids are in crisis. I mean, have you ever had kids that you can think of that you worked with who had crisis behaviors but weren't necessarily the kind of crisis behaviors that people think of when someone's on the floor, they're throwing a tantrum, they're kicking their feet, they're smacking things. I mean, it could look different for different kids.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah, and I I think one of the big things, like my my daughter has tantrums, but you can snap her out of them pretty quickly, either like making a joke or like trying to understand what she's trying to do. And that's where like I can communicate her kind of down off the ledge a little bit because it's just like a mild tantrum. But kids that I've worked with in clinics and schools, um those crisis behaviors are not ones that I'm gonna start having a conversation with those kids. Those are the ones where I'm trying to keep them safe, move them to an area that they can't attack somebody, or keep them so they're not hurting themselves or or staff members. And those are the behaviors I call like the super hot behaviors, where they're just like they're at another level where I think as a parent, when your child goes from being a normal tantrum to that high-level crisis behavior, you know when it happens. That's like when their nervous system goes offline, they're not responding to you, they are in full panic mode. Um, these are also the behaviors where often once you bring them back down, they get there's kind of lethargic. I've seen that a lot with the kids. It's like when they when they hit true crisis mode and they kind of cool down, they're kind of tired and and emotionally kind of drawn out because of how tough this was on their body to physically go through this this crisis. Um, and those are the times when you're you are not trying to try to rationalize with them. Um, you're just trying to keep them safe.

unknown 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

I can remember when I was working on my master's student uh in in Columbus, I worked for this agency, and we had a young man who was a teenager, and he was going to live with the foster family, and I was there to help with the transition. And sure enough, we're sitting at the table and we're eating food, and this kid just whacks me in the mouth, like literally out of nowhere, and we all just looked for a minute, and I was like, what happened? But at that moment, the idea was safety first, and of course, he followed that up after that second with lunging at me, and it was like a full uh he he was attacking me, and we later surmised that he was very upset, he didn't understand, he was scared, he didn't have the speech to talk about these things, he didn't have the vocabulary, well, the vocal language, he was non-vocal. And at that moment, giving a lecture or uh trying to teach or give a consequence, that was not the time to do that. It was time for him to be safe, for me to be safe, for everyone to be safe. And you're right that what did you call them hot behaviors? Yeah, yeah, like coming in hot. Yeah. So you're right. This is something that uh parents can get. And as we continue having these conversations, you know, we'll talk more about how do you handle behaviors in these situations, but you know, the big idea that we talked about today is that there are these different categories that parents should understand that every behavior that occurs isn't necessarily a teaching opportunity. And we've just nailed a couple of them, you know, in in those low impact behaviors, maybe you don't teach. At the crisis time, hey, that's not a time to teach. In the moderate social disruptors, sure, you can teach there. So understanding that we have growth behaviors, you're looking to reward those, those low impact behaviors. Stay calm, coach gently, pick your battles, these moderate behaviors, yes, intervene early, figure out ways to be good teachers, and there are even ways before the behavior you can set yourself up for success. And then these high-risk behaviors where it's safety first, teach later. That's the big thing to understand for you as a parent, for your spouse, and if there's other people, if you have an extended family, you got to teach them too. Because as you know, you told a good story about uh your mom. I'm a grandparent, my wife's a grandparent, and we need to respect boundaries. And if my daughter and son-in-law, if they have very specific ways of classifying the behavior, you know, us going in and teaching, there can be a conflict there. Very important that we get this out there.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Yeah, and I think it also kind of it opens parents up and gives them a little bit of grace in that you don't to be a good parent, you don't have to teach in every single moment. Like you don't have to dress every single behavior a child's doing because you're gonna be exhausted, you're gonna be burned out, um, and it's you're not gonna be effective in the behaviors that you want to be effective in. So it's like, you know, think of like behavior analysis and teaching as like really high potent, you know, I don't know, like cure or drug. And it's you you want to place it exactly where you want to put it in, but you don't want to just do it overkill. You want to you know be very, very precise about when you use it. Um, and then you'll you'll see the good benefits.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Yeah, it's it's so true. I hope that this is something that is very clear. Uh we'll put this up in the show notes just so it's very obvious. And of course, there's other places that you could read more about this, but maybe do some homework. And you know, this week, after listening to this, think about some behaviors that your kid does, or maybe you watch them and say, what bucket would this go into? Write it down. You know, not to change anything else, but just start taking stock of what your child does and decide which behavior uh which bucket does it go into. And maybe you talk to your spouse or uh anyone else that's involved with your child and say, you do this. Here's some behaviors I want you to classify them, and that would be really interesting. And here's some bonus homework. Catch your kid being good. Whatever that looks like. Start building that relationship. The more positive you are, the better that relationship's gonna turn out to be.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

I love that. That's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

Well, thank you all for hanging out with us as we help build better humans.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

We'll see you next week.