SPEAKER_00 0:01

For generations, North Georgians have turned to WDUN for local news, local voices, and trusted conversations. Now join Reverend Dr. Terry Walton as each character's reflections on faith, family, and the moments that shape our lives. Inspired by years of ministry and the writings of Monday Memo, each week offers wisdom, encouragement, and practical lessons for everyday living. This is Sunday morning with Reverend Dr. Terry Walton on North Georgia's News Talk, WDUN.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Well, good morning, friends. Welcome to Sunday morning. I hope your Sunday is off to a fantastic start. And this first day of the week, I hope gives you a launch into the rest of the week that's filled with a sense that you are valued and that God loves you and that the best is yet to come. I'm honored that you are taking the time to be with us this Sunday morning. I wanted to talk just a little bit on this Sunday morning about the topic of friendship. You know, I I was thinking, I don't recall where I first heard it, but it has stuck in my mind, we are not created to be Lone Rangers. Some of you may remember the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto. Hi ho silver, remember? If you don't, look it up on Google. For those of you who don't remember, well, you make me feel old. But I digress. We human beings were created with a need for companionship, for community. It is innate in our DNA. And when community is lacking, then there's a downward spiral of loneliness that often leads to all kinds of unhealthy lifestyle results. A bishop of mine several years ago once said that he noticed that when clergy, quote, get into trouble, close quote, they are the ones who don't really have many, if any, close friends. And this bishop, anyway, observed this common denominator of loneliness in clergy destructive behavior. And I have a feeling that's not only true about clergy. Now, I use the term community. So there are there are all kinds of communities. There are common interest communities, academic communities, neighborhood communities, monastic communities, church communities, social communities, and the list goes on and on. What we all need, this inbred need of our soul, is what I will call a depth of community. We need and desire people who will love us, be there for us, cheer for us, expect the best of us, hold us accountable. We need people, all of us do, who will get up in the middle of the night and come to us should we need them. We need to know that we are important in several someone's lives. We need to know God through others and their unconditional love for us. We need community. I've heard it said the world is more populated now than it has ever been, yet there are more lonely people now than there has ever been. It can sound tried and oversimplified, but consider that one way you and I might stem this suspected tide of loneliness is to simply be a friend. I mean a real friend. Be a community builder by being a friend. A real friend. So I thought this morning I would invite a friend and we would have a conversation. This friend of mine, we have been friends since high school, and it was our fathers that had similar callings in their lives. His father was a United Methodist pastor, district superintendent, and leader amongst leaders. My father was a bivocational pastor, what was called in our system, a local pastor. And so this morning I have with me the Reverend Dr. D. Shellnut. Morning, Dee. Good morning. Dee and I go way back to high school and we have a covenant. What happened in high school stays in high school. And across the years, we have journeyed together in some very wonderful ways. We kind of lost touch as friends until we crossed paths again in seminary. And he was graduating from seminary as I was transferring into seminary at Candler School of Theology, Emory University. And then we began ministry journey, and uh, out of conversation, we both felt a need to have some vacation time, and so we decided we would go as families on vacation together. Now, for 13 years, the Waltons and the Shellnuts went on vacation. Now here's the funny part all the shellnuts are tall, all the Waltons are short. All the shellnuts get up early, all the Waltons sleep late. And I guess that's why it worked. Because when they'd be coming in for lunch, we'd be going out for the first time to the beach, and then we'd all have dinner, and of course, our our kids and their kids uh grew up together in that regard, and it was just a real blessing. And across the years, Dee and Candy and Terry and Sharon have uh journeyed through many, many things of life. And so I thought Dee and I would just have a conversation about this idea of friendship. So, Dee, let me ask you a question. Um, how would you define a true friend?

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Well, let me say uh that to to answer that I would have to go back because you know I love music. Yeah. And um this t tells you how old I am. James Taylor, Carol King. Uh-huh. You got a friend. Uh-huh. Winter, spring, summer, or fall. Yeah. All you have to do is call and I'll be there. Yeah. I think that's a friend. That's a true friend. And uh based on our friendship, I would define our friendship as one that we can get together and there's no fear to speak what's on our hearts. We can talk about our fears, we can talk about our sins, we can talk about politics, we can talk about our children, uh, whatever's on our hearts. And we don't ever have to be afraid.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

Yeah, that I like that. And sp you know, a lot of times when we're talking about sins, yours are more than mine, but other than that, no, I'm just teasing. But to have have that space, that safe space, I mean, goodness gracious, that's that's an excellent point. Um and I and I what brings to my mind is we can go weeks, months without talking, and then when we start, it's like we start where we left off. You know, it's kind of that it's just an understood. It's not a small lot of small talk to get back to that depth of friendship. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_01 7:39

I agree. Yeah. No matter how long it's been, I walk in your house and I feel at home.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

Yeah. And same here. Same here. I like your house better because it's at the lake, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

Come any time.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

Um how have you have you noticed friendship, uh our friendship, but others, as you've observed as a pastor, as I have been across the years? Uh how have you observed friendships change over year over the years? Do you see changing, evolving?

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Well, I would say I look back over my life and friendships, as per most of 'em have been in the ministry. And just like you and I, we've moved away from each other like I lived in Augusta for a while, so we were away. So you move away and and then you're so busy with the work of the church, with your family, um and your own agendas, y you you kind of get off track sometimes. You don't keep up like we should. Then there are people I call my Christmas card friends. You know. They'll always be friends, but you don't see it very much. But um I see a lot of things changing uh friendships these days. Um I would say number one is uh uh politics. Oh boy, yeah. I think that's probably been uh fearful. Can be so divisive. Sort of well you're afraid to say what you feel.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

And and when that's there, then friendship starts to go down.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Yeah, it sort of pauses it at a level rather than helps it continue to grow. Because you can't you can't speak your heart. Yeah. And and there's you know, for me anyway, there's that discernment. It you know, friendship is so important. What is worth risking a friendship over? You know? And I and I know in some of my friends, not with you, of course, because we're so close and have been so close for so long, we speak candidly to each other, but there are some friends, I still call them friends, but I wouldn't dare talk politics with them. You know? Well, I think that's what I'm saying now.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

A lot of church members I love with my heart, but I can't I mean you just never know where you stand and where they stand. Right. And if they're gonna well, and I've known too many families, uh I could name many who have been divided families because of politics.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

Right. That's right. You know, it's that old saying, never talk about religion in politics. Well, we have to talk about religion because the preachers lose politics out, doesn't it? Oh, goodness. What would you say, Dee? Uh going a little deeper, what makes it difficult to maintain friendships as adults?

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Well, uh it's funny. You mentioned that. I was talking to my daughter the other day and asking about some of her friends. And I said, Do y'all get together much? And she said, No. And I said, why? She said, our kids. They all have kids and their schedules go crazy. Oh. Um, I think life itself keeps us so busy. Yeah. And um, and we have too many irons in the fire. And I think that we we take the time we need to be still and to be in the presence of someone.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Well said. Boy, that that's sharp because I'm I'm very guilty of that. You know, I think about my grandparents who lived in rural Carroll County, and and I as a small boy, I still remember us pulling up in their yard and their sat grandmom and granddaddy sitting on the porch rocking. I mean, they weren't in there watching a ball game. They weren't they were out enjoying the beauty and enjoying their neighbors and taking Sunday drives together. Now, you know, I don't want to get into a debate about good old days because I like indoor plumbing. Good good old days. But, you know, uh I do think there's some things we've lost along the way. I have a grandson who plays travel baseball. Oh my Lord, D. And you know, I think you have a grandson that plays travel ball too. And they're all over the country.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

That's it. Well, one other thing I'm gonna say too is you look at um architecture today, most homes do not have a front porch anymore.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

They a lot of them even don't have back porches anymore. And and that's where we used to congregate and have dialogue. Family reunions was we'd go to my grandparents, we'd sit out on their big front porch, you know. And uh through most of my ministry it wasn't that way, but it is now. You know, it's interesting about porch fellowship.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

I remember somebody once, I don't remember whether it was a course in school or if it was just a conversation, I can't recall, but I remember somebody saying, Go into your den and see how your uh chairs are arranged. Mostly today, all the chairs are arranged facing the television, not facing each other. I'm guilty of that. I'm very guilty of that. I like my big screen TV, I must confess.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Well, I'll say one other thing, too, is I think that we're glued to our phones so much that we don't even look up and see the people we're talking to.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Right. Right, right. Um let me shift it a little bit and get into the faith aspect. Um which biblical friendship inspires you the most if you were to look into the scripture and see friendship there? And and why? Is there one that stands out in your mind?

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Well, mine's probably the most um revered, and that's David and Jonathan.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Simply because Jonathan was willing to put his friendship with David above his own daddy. He knew his dad was trying to kill David, and he knew that he was second to the throne, but David was gonna be the second to the throne. And Jonathan, it says their hearts were knit together. Yeah. And I like that. And there was a trust between them, uh, a real covenantal relationship. I would say that's one of the most impressive. I think um Naomi and Ruth, you know, even though it's a mother and daughter-in-law, right? Um, your people will be my people. And they went, she went with her, and that's a very powerful story.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

You know, you bring up that word trust. It seems to me, I not thought about it recently, but how critical that is in relationships, but especially in the friendships that nurture our soul. Can you want to say a little more about that?

SPEAKER_01 14:25

I just want to say you cannot have a true friendship without being able to be vulnerable. And you can't be vulnerable unless your friend is trustworthy. Well said. That's the key to me.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

And um there are a lot of people I think are friends, but I don't trust them with things that should not go any further.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Well, friends, you can be vulnerable as I've talked about with you.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

Right. Right. Right. I remember uh how important it was for Sharon and I when she was diagnosed with clear cell rhino cell carcinoma. And I will remember that uh Friday very well. We were gonna go to the brace game and we didn't go because of the diagnosis, it took the it just took the air out of the room and out of our lungs. And but you and Candy showed up at our house within an hour you were over at our house. And uh just your presence. Now I can't remember a thing you said, a thing Candy said, but I remember the presence. And I couldn't have told you what did I need in that moment. If you'd have called and said, What do you need, I'd probably say nothing. But it being present with someone and in rhythm with what's going on in their life breeds trust. It makes it authentic, it makes the friendship authentic.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

When we came to your home, we didn't have anything profound to say. Right. We just wanted to put our arms around you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes that speaks more than words.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

Yeah, absolutely. And that's hard for us preachers because we kind of live off the words, you know.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

That's true. That's our living. We make a living off words.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

Well, let me ask you this. Um, which biblical uh well, how has God used a friend to encourage your faith?

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Uh, a friend to encourage my faith. I think I'm gonna share something that's very vulnerable. Um, I have a very, very close friend of mine. Uh we've been friends for almost thirty years, and he called me about three years ago to tell me he was going to prison. And I was stunned. And when he told me why, I was so angry and sudden. He's hurt so many people. And I thought to myself, I d I I didn't say this to him, but I got off the phone and I thought, I don't know if I want to be his friend anymore. And uh Understandable. And I got to thinking, uh, I went no, as I normally do, I go to the Bible. And I remember Barnabas didn't want to help Paul either. And Paul had been a part of helping people get murdered and suffer, and yet he brought him into the church. And so, um, this friend of mine who was in prison for six and a half years calls me about once a month, and um our conversations are very deep. He's lost everything he has. And when you've lost everything, friendship is the most important thing. And um he's helping me grow in my faith. Um it will be interesting when he gets out to see how things will be. But um that's been uh he has been one that's that's helped me to grow the in the in a way I didn't think was possible. Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

But he's still my friend. And I told him uh but when he a week before he went to to prison, I said, I'm gonna make a covenant with you. I will write you every week. And every Sunday night I write him a letter and I try to say something that keep him up out of prison. And he writes me immediately. And when I get his letters, I think sometimes he ministers to me more than I do to him.

unknown 18:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

And I'm thankful the uh the friendship has continued.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Gail Rendell, who's uh kind of one of the gurus of church leadership, has helped me a lot. I I will always remember what he said. Uh it stuck me, he said, relationship is the currency of ministry. And I would like I I think relationship is the currency of life. Uh I would take it a step further. Of course, the context in which he was speaking was to ministers being trained for some put some particular task in the church. But you know, um relationships are worth investing in. And I think sometimes um we get more into investing in our monetary means or in our uh uh shall we say our asset means rather than relationships. But um I will just say this, D, you're ahead of me in this. Both of your parents have made the journey from this life to the to the next. My mother's ninety-two and a half, and I will tell you what's important to her right now is uh not any financial investments, not any property. What's matters to her is relationships with her children, with her grandchildren, with her great grandchildren, with my little puppy dog. I mean, sh all of that uh brings, shall we say, um, energy to her soul, uh albeit uh for a small period of time, but that relationship piece is is so critical. Uh and friendship in my mind anyway, is the deepest uh relationships. And um I I think you would agree with me. I feel like in some ways I married my best friend and you with Candy as well. And I I I know I you know Sharon's in line for sainthood uh without a doubt. I know that, and you don't need to make comment on that, Dishana.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

I wish I could.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

But you know, I think I I just think that's where the the best of marriages maybe they don't start as friends that evolve into that, but there has to be that level of depth in in those relationships. So uh yeah. Um we just have a few minutes left. What what is one practical step you would offer to our listening audience today that might be that word or two to help them enhance friendships along the journey? Anything come to mind? You told me not to do that, man.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

I thought it was to be a curve ball. Practical steps. Well I don't mean it in a in a negative way. Um you don't do this for this reason, but I've been called by too many funeral homes to come and be with people and they had no friends to be there with them. The greatest investment you can make practical investment is take the time to get to know people, your business people, the people you you know you work with, you go to church with, who you play tennis with. Get to know them and cherish them. Yeah. Pray for them. That's one way you get closer is you pray for them. Yeah. Um that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

What is a prayer for a friend sound like to you as we draw to a close? How does that sound like?

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Um I had two friends that called me yesterday. One of them just said, please pray for me. I've got a a major health issue ahead of me. That's all he said. And the second one was later yesterday afternoon, please pray for me. My daughter's gonna have spinal surgery. And I'm scared. Um I hope that people always know they can call and ask me to pray for them. We gotta be I keep a prayer book. When I tell people I'm praying for them, I don't just say I'm praying for you. I said, Look, your name's in my prayer book, and I'm gonna be lifting you up every single day. So that's the way it is.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

Yeah, I think it's um I think it means more than we realize. Uh this morning I sent a text to uh a dear friend from the first church I ever served as a student. Her her daddy had died, and I said, I just want you to know Sharon and I are thinking of you and praying for you this morning. Now, you know, the words are not that critical. Just lifting the people up and saying, God, I know you're with them. I thank you for being with them. Well, friends, I uh D, thank you for being here. Thank you for being my friend. Likewise. My pleasure. Thank you for not telling everything you know from high school about me. I appreciate that. My telephone numbers. No, do not. It's great to have a friend you can laugh with and love with and live life with friends, and I pray that for you. I'm so honored you've been with us on this Sunday morning. Uh keep in mind if you want to know more about just having life as an encouraging journey. The book Monday Memo, a collection of reflections on faith, life, and family, is there for your perusal. You can go to Mondaymemo.org and find all there is to know about that. Buzz Sprout is where we have podcasts of these Sunday mornings after they are aired. If we can help in any way, don't hesitate to let us know. God bless you and keep you, and may this week be a great week for you. Remember, God loves you.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

You've been listening to Sunday morning with Reverend Dr. Terry Walton. Each week, Terry shares reflections on faith, family, and lessons that help guide us through everyday life. Today's conversation was inspired by Monday Memo, a collection of reflections on faith, life, and family, featuring more than five years of weekly writings and encouragement. Find Monday Memo at Amazon.com or visit Mondaymemo.org. Join us again next week for another edition of Sunday Morning with Reverend Dr. Terry Walton on North Georgia's News Talk.