Communicating with Grace

Communicating with Grace
In this enlightening episode of the Anchored in Grace podcast, hosts Eric and Sharris delve into the powerful principles of communication through a biblical lens. Drawing inspiration from James 1:19, which reminds us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry," they explore the essential components of effective dialogue: listening, hearing, and cultivating patience.

Join Eric and Sharris as they share personal experiences that illustrate the challenges and triumphs of communication in our daily lives. They discuss how actively listening and being aware of our responses can lead to healthier relationships and deeper connections with others. 

Throughout this episode, God's Word serves as a guiding light, offering wisdom and practical application for fostering understanding in our conversations. Whether you're looking to improve your communication skills or seeking to enrich your relationships, you’ll find valuable insights that will help you navigate the complexities of expression with grace and love.

Tune in and discover how to anchor your communication in the grace of God!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome back to Anchor in Grace, where faith meets you every day. I'm Eric.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

And I'm Sharif. Today we're diving into something we all wrestle with: communication. Not just talking, but listening, understanding, and speaking truth and love.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

And let's start with an opening prayer. Father God, in the name of Jesus, God, I thank you for this podcast anchored in grace. God, I ask that you be with us all today. And I ask that you bless all the listeners that's with us today, Lord, and that you lead and guide them, God, and let this word you know be what you need it to be with them in their lives. For them in their lives, God. And we just thank you in Jesus' name, God, and be with both Shars and I, Lord, to share and to be in your will, Lord. And we thank you in Jesus' name we pray. Thank you, God. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Amen. So today is a very special day I want to share with you guys. And I hope you guys can do something with me. You know what I'm saying? Um today is my beloved's birthday, you know, and I think you know, I have to sing happy birthday to her, you know. I can't sing happy birthday, please.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

That's not Nita Bay.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

I I had I had to do that because she gets scared when I think about public singing because she she knows I can't sing.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

So she didn't want me to sing, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

It's not necessary, it's a thought that counts.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Today is her birthday. And, you know, so we it's been a great day. We've been celebrating all weekend and you know, we took the day off today to enjoy each other.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

Yeah, it's been beautiful. Yeah. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

And I appreciate it. We've had a great day. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yes, we've had a great day.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

God is good.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

God is good all the time.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

All the time.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Yeah. You know, so today we're looking at what the Bible says about how we speak to each other. You know, which is something really, really important in communication. And how it can literally bring life or destruction. You know, and there's this verse that I I learned a long time ago, James 3, 5 and 6, and it says, the tongue is a fire, um, a world of evil. The tongue is among the parts of the body defiling the whole body and setting a course of a nature on fire. Man, that's wow. That that's that's crazy. That is. You know, and the tongue is small, it's a small part in your body, but and and and and sometimes it seems like it could be insignificant, right? A part of your body, but the tongue has a great influence because the tongue sometimes, like when we get frustrated and we get to run in our mouth and talk, and we can say some things to people that we cannot take back. We can hurt people with our tongue, you know. So it's important for us to be cautious with that tongue because I want you guys to think about a small spark uh from a match, a small spark that can set a whole forest ablaze. We see these big forest fires in California every year. Yeah, and they can set a whole forest fire. Uh the tongue is no different in the destruction it can have on in your relationships with people.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

That's good. That's really good. That's a very good point. And, you know, kinda as we go into our first segment, um, we're gonna talk about why communication matters. And um let's start with Proverbs 18 and 21. And in that it talks about death and life are in the power of the tongue. So it's kinda, you know, going based off what you're saying, and that's huge because what we say actually carries weight spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, you know, and I don't think we really think about that, you know. Um, I think sometimes we just say stuff and we go on with our lives, right? Um, but when we think about if I just say, you know what, I really don't care about you. That can come off very harsh, you know, but we don't realize that can come off spiritually, emotionally, or rationally, versus Eric, I love you. You know, that can come off spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, right? And it that can affect affect you in those three ways. So negatively and positively, your tongue has power, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

And it does, you know. And I think about that from a personal standpoint. You know, I think about w in our marriage, when we have said things to each other, your words carry so much weight with me, Shirley. And if you have said something to me out of anger, yeah, as a man, I think about how that affects me, how that can hinder me, you know. And we shouldn't allow anything to hinder us, you know. That's something that I really had to work on personally with God, is even allowing the one that I love so much, my wife, her words to hurt me. Yeah. You know, because the ones that you love the most can be the ones that can be so hurtful to you sometimes with their words. So you got you have to be really careful about the influence of their words, you know, and when they say things, understanding that sometimes people are not in the right mindset.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

And that's the head space, yeah. Or in the right head space space. And they have to take that, you have to give them to God and understand that sometimes there's a spirit there that is is is is is leading there. And you're not mad at them, you're mad at that spirit. So we have to constantly be praying against the enemy, you know what I'm saying, that will use us against one another.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

And sometimes it's just taking a moment, you know, and I think that's something that has successfully helped our marriage is and something we've had to learn to over time. I think when we first, you know, got married, we would just say something and then we'd be upset with each other all day long. And we'd be like, Why are we still mad at each other? You know, you go to bed and you're just like, Oh, he is still getting on my nerves. Oh my gosh, but I love him. You know what I'm saying? And then later on, you know, you said think 10 or 15 years later on, you're thinking, like, man, why are we still doing this? Like, this is crazy. Like, this is something that you we really need to physically, spiritually, mentally need to work on in our relationship. And so I thank God for his grace, you know, and I think God that you you and I both have worked on grace in our relationship and allowing us to have space for a moment to cool down to think about things. But um, yeah, we can move on. But that's it's really good to make sure you slow down and um do those things.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Amen. Amen. Um there uh Jesus took it this a step further in Matthew 12 and 36 when he said, We'll give an account for every careless word, you know, that's sobering. You know what I'm saying? And I want you to think about this, you know. Um, and I w it this verse is saying that it's important that we be mindful of our words and their impact. And because it can reveal the state of our heart. You know what I'm saying? It's important to understand that our hearts can be in a very poor place sometimes. And that's why we're praying every day, saying, God, transform not only my mind but my heart as well. Because you know, sin and bad headspace can put your heart in a very poor space. We need God every day, every day to transform us.

SPEAKER_04 9:07

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Because without him, we are a tr we're sinners.

SPEAKER_04 9:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

You know, we have to work every day. You know what I'm saying? And and and that's real. And if you don't think that's real, you know what I mean, you got something coming. You have to work every day.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Every day. Every day's a new battle.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

A new battle.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Yep. And it's not just about avoiding gossip or lying, you know, it's about being intentional with our words. Um and are we the question we have to ask ourselves, you know, are we building up or are we tearing down? You know, because I think that's that's also a very important matter in the questions that we have to ask ourselves on a daily, on a daily basis. You know, am I building up my husband or am I tearing him down every single day? Because if I'm building you up, you should be thriving. Right? If I'm building you, if I'm tearing you down, you're not gonna be thriving. I can't say, oh my gosh, my husband, he made my lunch today. You know, I'm gonna be upset because I'm like, he didn't make my lunch today. Well, he ain't being he's not being built up. You know what I'm saying? How can I expect him to be doing well, or how can I expect the things that I'm expecting if I'm not building him up, just by saying, Honey, you look handsome today. You smell amazing today. Look at you thriving at work, look at you building up our kids. Thank you for telling me I look beautiful today. You know, all those things, thank you for being that confident man of God, holding our family down. You know what I'm saying? Like, or just saying thank you.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Sometimes we just need that. You know what I mean? The appreciation goes a long way, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

So building up, not tearing down.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Words carry so much power.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

So much power.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

And we can spend so much time on a daily basis building up others, yes, and not spend the time building up the spouse that we love the most.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

Yep, and we live with every single day. You see, yeah, you see, you can see so much value in somebody else. Or you say, Oh my gosh, did you see that person? Oh my god, did you see them? They doing this, oh my god, you know, and you thrive in everything they are doing and you can't see the beauty within. Yeah. And it's like, you have a diamond. You know what I mean? And we don't sometimes that diamond might need to be just buffed up a little bit, but you know what? It's still beautiful. That's right. You know what I'm saying? And we all need work. You know what I'm saying? Like we said, it's a daily thing, right? Yeah. So, but yeah, that's great.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Yeah, it it is so real.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

But let's just continue to build up.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Build up. And you know, have you ever thought about Shars um as you know, listening is communication too? Right?

SPEAKER_04 12:02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Um, James 119 says, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

SPEAKER_04 12:14

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

That verse alone can save so many marriages and keep people out of arguments. Yes. And for years, when I read that verse, and my wife always would tell me, when I would read that verse, I would read over the most important part. Everyone should be quick to listen. You know, when we read that verse, we read over that sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

But God is telling us that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. You know, every day, you know what I'm saying, in our in in our life, you know what I'm saying, our focus should be to listen to the people around us.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Right. And you would always read it as everyone should be slow to speak and slow to become angry. Yeah. And you would always miss the quick to listen. Quick to listen. And it would always be funny, I'm like, babe, you're not listening. You're not listening, but you would always skip over the part of quick to listen. Quick to listen. So it was just funny. And we always we're always prayerful about the listening side. And so, um, it's just funny like how we don't realize the part that we're struggling at even reading, we skip over.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

We don't listen when we Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Right. So it's just funny how things correlate and connect to each other. You know what I mean? So we we laugh at that now, but it's just funny. I just think it's hilarious now.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Yeah, active listening is super important.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

It really is.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

You know, so really take that verse to heart, you know, quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to be angry. Right. To save your marriage.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

It will save your marriage, yes. A hundred percent. So if anybody gets any advice on this um marriage podcast, please, James 1 and 19, that will save your life. Just just go with it. So also, and it goes against our instincts, right? We want to be heard as just individuals, you know, as a spouse, you want to be heard. Um, but God calls us to listen first. I think that's so good. You know what I mean? I want you to think about something is like when you um when you meet somebody who has a need, what do you have to do?

SPEAKER_01 14:45

You have to listen.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

You have to listen. And I always think about that. It's funny because I'm like, wow, that's so interesting. We can be so quick to listen to somebody else. When God slows us down to say, I need you to meet a need in that person's life. We're quick to slow down and listen. But when it's our spouse or if it's our best friend, or if it's our sibling or our parent or whoever, mm-hmm, we have so much we're quick to judge, we're quick to protect, we're quick to, you know, put a a shield up, right? Of protection that we um really aren't listening because we know history. We know past hurts or we know whatever we deflect. Right? And so I think it's it's one of those things where we're really not listening because I've heard that before. Yep. I don't want to hear it no more.

unknown 15:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

So what I mean, like you do you naturally just do that. So it it's it's one of those things we really have to be prayerful about and be mindful.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

And I can be honest with you guys and say that was that's been a hard one for us in the past, you know. Um, when we hold on to those past hurts. You know, when you do something repetitive to somebody, like not listen, you know what I'm saying? My wife being heard is important to her. And when I don't listen, it bothers her. And and sometimes it's not just me. I it could be that others were not listening, and because they didn't listen and I didn't listen at home, I get it all. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, it's it's one of those things where it's really important to pay attention and to to really discern with the heart and say, God, help me to to to to be what my wife needs in this moment. Help me to build these tools that I need, not just for my wife, but just for life. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Of listening. Because listening is good for not for all relationships. You know what I mean? But I want to bring healing in my relationship. I don't want my wife feeling like she's not heard.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

And we really have worked on that.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Making sure that she is heard because her voice matters.

SPEAKER_04 17:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

It's important. Always told her her voice matters and it carries so much weight.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

Thank you. I love that. And you're doing so good, I really appreciate that too.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

So, as we move forward here, um it says, okay, let me let me stay on task here. Um when we listen, um, we reflect we reflect God's patience. Yes. Which kind of like what we were just talking about. Uh-huh. You know, Jesus, every time he moved, the first thing that he did was listen. You know what I'm saying? He didn't do anything without listening. Jesus would be sitting back watching. He listened and watched. Right. You know what I'm saying? Um, he wanted to hear the hearts of the people, right, you know, behind our words. Because how can Jesus answer prayers if he's not listening to the hearts of people?

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

You know what I mean? So there's something to to to think about.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Mm-hmm. And um, and I'm gonna talk about, you know, this kind of reference the story of the Good Samaritan, the woman at the well. And it's um in John 4, and Jesus he listened, right? And then he spoke the truth in love. And that's the model. And I'm just gonna come kind of break that down a little bit. So how commun how how communication and listening are central to this story is one, Jesus initiates the conversation. Jesus is a Jew, right? And he initiated communication with a Samaritan woman, uh, breaking down significant social and cultural barriers that have existed between the two groups. And so this act of reaching out and engaging in a dialogue is a fundamental aspect of effective communication. He shows a willingness to cross these barriers because prioritizing these relationships over social norms, okay?

SPEAKER_01 19:32

So And i it it was really important during that time to understand that Jews at that time looked at Samaritans as dogs. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They they they they didn't speak to each other. Right.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

You know what I mean? So they were beneath them. They were beneath them.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

They they you know, so for Jesus to break that that barrier, you know, that norm, you know what I'm saying? That's true. To initiate a conversation with the woman shows you that you know, he just wasn't a Jew.

SPEAKER_04 20:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Right. He was the most high.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

That's right. You know what I mean? Okay. I love that. Thank you for breaking that down. So and two, active listening by Jesus. So Jesus listens intently to the woman's responses, right? So demonstrating compassion and a desire to understand her perspective and her needs. He didn't just speak, he created a safe space for her to share and ask questions. So that's important. And that comes in relationships. We have to create a safe space and we have to share and ask questions. So keep keep that in mind, you guys. Um, so three, guiding the conversation. So Jesus skillfully guided a conversation from the physical request for water to deeper, um, excuse me. So let me back that up. So Jesus skillfully guided the conversation from the physical request for water to deeper spiritual topics, ultimately revealing himself as the Messiah. He started with something familiar to the woman, water, and used it as a stepping stone to introduce a concept of living water, representing eternal life, which is really great, right? So the other breakdown is the woman's responsiveness, right? So after she learnt about the living water, um um the Samaritan woman in turn engages with Jesus, asking questions and expressing her understanding of his identity because she didn't know who she who he was. Her openness to listen and learn allowed the conversation to progress and ultimately led her to recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Communication led the transformation and Witness. The woman's encounter with Jesus transforms her, prompting her to leave her water jar and go back to her village to share her experience. This is a powerful example of how effective communication and active listening can lead to spiritual growth and inspire one to become a witness. The people in her village, in return, listened to her testimony and sought out Jesus themselves, leading to more conversations. Amen. So number five, emphasis on listening to God. So the passage also emphasized the importance of listening to God's voice and recognizing the spiritual, the spirit of truth versus the spirit of error. This highlights the crucial role of discerning listening in one's spiritual journey. So those five things are so crucial, you know. Just really, you know, talking about the safe space, sharing, asking questions, um, you know, progressing with, you know, just active listening, you know, really listening to the needs of her, you know, getting to know somebody who doesn't even know you. You know what I mean? Going to a deeper level. Um, and then just the emphasis on listening. You know, he he made a connection where she was so connected that she went back to tell the people, like, oh my gosh, like I just made a connection with the living God.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

You know what I'm saying? And and think about she was a Samaritan. She was a Samaritan. And she went back and told her people, I made a connection with a Jew. Right? Right. And just think about how powerful that is that is super powerful. That is powerful. And she led other people to Christ.

SPEAKER_04 24:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

You know what I mean? And that just shows you the power of your representation, how you go to people, you know, is important.

SPEAKER_04 24:10

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

You know what I'm saying? That's right. The way Jesus gave himself in that situation. Yes. Amazing. That is so good.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

And that's why we have to be with each other.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

We have to be on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

You know, amen. And that leads us to why speaking truth in love is so important. Right?

SPEAKER_04 24:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Um, Ephesians 4 and 15 talks about speaking the truth in love, right? Sometimes Christian focuses focuses on on one and they forget the other. Right? So in the context of marriage, right, um there's this scripture that I used to hear my mom say all the time, and it was be wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove. So this comes from Matthews 10 and 16. And this speaks to balancing practical wisdom and discernment with genuine kindness and peace. Right? That's important. It's about being alert to the potential problems and not being naive while also maintaining a gentle and loving attitude in your interactions. So that's in your relationships, you know, when when when you have a relationship, you can be so focused on being truthful all the time. But when you're truthful, sometimes you don't say things in love. Yeah. You gotta have a balance. You do. God wants us to have a balance.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

And He wants us to say things in love. And that's why I say, you know, be wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

That's good, exactly. And that's so good, Eric. Um, because truth without love can feel harsh, but love without truth can feel hollow. Yeah. Right? And so it's like, oh my gosh, you know, like trying like, wow. That's that's that's really good. I wow, man, that's good. I love that. I love that your mom gave you that advice because you know I mean, like wise as a serpent but harmless as a dove. Like, you don't think of things like that, but that's really that is balancing practical wisdom and discernment, you know? For a life whole, you know, as a whole. So really good.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Amen. Amen. You know, think about correction. Um, maybe you have to confront someone. Are you doing it to restore them? You know, Galatians 6 and 1 says, restore gently. Have you ever been in a situation where you're dealing with a person that has done something wrong? I've worked juvenile corrections for twenty something plus years. And I've worked with a lot of young men who have done things that are wrong. And when they do things wrong, if I go at them in a harsh manner, because I've done this, I went at them harshly. And they didn't react well to that. But when I went at them with an understanding mindset, they were able to receive that. You know what I'm saying? No differently in your marriage, you know what I'm saying? If you see your spouse doing something wrong, and you love them, you're not gonna scald your wife like a child.

SPEAKER_04 27:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Because they are not a child even when they do wrong. But, you know, regardless of we're accountable to one another. Right? That's right. We're accountable. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? We're uh um we we were reading, um, we were talking about um um Jehovah Meckadesh, um the one who sanctifies.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Living a sanctified life.

SPEAKER_04 28:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Accountability, you know what I'm saying? Um it is so important. You know, if you want to live sanctified, you have to have a partner that is going to be accountable with you. Yeah. That's something Sh and I really focus on together. So, you know, anytime I've done something wrong, you know what I'm saying, my wife has come to me in a manner and has said to me from learning, because we have made the mistake in the past of saying it differently, right?

SPEAKER_04 28:50

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

But she has learned that if she says things to me in a certain way, I don't receive it very well, right?

SPEAKER_03 28:58

Right, that's true. That is true.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

We receive it very well. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

So you're not my child, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:06

You know, and I and I'll say that to you, I'm not your kid. You know what I'm saying? Why are you talking to me like I'm one of the boys?

SPEAKER_03 29:11

Yeah, you know. And I think as a woman, we as a wife, like we can forget sometimes. If we have kids or if we're raising kids, we can forget because we can scold our husbands as if they're kids. Like, are you serious? Like, are you you didn't think to do this? Like, oh my gosh. And then it those words have already came out of our mouth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

And it's too late. You can't take it back. Like it already you can't rewind it and put it back in your mouth.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Yeah. Right? So that's what that's why we're having this conversation today, you know, and speaking these things out because these are things these conversations people aren't having or really openly really even talking about because people don't think it's a norm, or they just like, oh whatever, it's all good. Nobody people just have these conversations, whatever, you know, but this is real, and these are things that are hurtful, these are things that you know can be helpful to people to have these things, you know, to help you, so you don't have to go through this continually.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

Um, and so were you done? I didn't want to stop it. Hold on. Okay. But you know, you're so right on that, but and even encouragement and what you're saying is our words should uplift. And I said this earlier, you know, and it's um in First Thessalonians 5 11 it says, encourage one another and build each other up.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

And alert, just like you said, I can't talk to you any kind of way, right? I have to build you up because I know you're going to receive that better, and sometimes I have to slow my tongue. Mm-hmm. I have to listen. Yeah. What state what w where are you at right now? Yeah. You know, I need to read the room for a minute. Yeah. Maybe I need to stop and pray. Yeah. Maybe I just need to remove myself and pray and then come back. Yeah. And say, Babe, what can I do for you? Yeah. How can I help you? That's right. Where are you at right now? That's right. Let's pray. Yeah. And then act.

SPEAKER_04 31:26

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

Because sometimes when I just open my mouth and start talking, that's not helpful in the situation. That's right. Right? I don't even know what you need. I'm just responding. And sometimes we gotta be slow. We gotta just slow it down.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

You know, and it's really important to understand, I mean, some people have been programmed to think that if men need to be built up, that's a sign of weakness. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 31:50

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

But in reality, God put us together to be a team and to be a unit. We he he made us one flesh. We talked about that last week, right? Right. He made us one flesh. We left our moms and our dads and came together and we cleaved together and became one flesh. We were built for this. We were built for this. So it's important that we understand that we need to build one another up.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Every day. Every day. I need to build my wife with positive words.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

My wife needs to build me with positive words.

SPEAKER_04 32:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

We need to build our children with positive words.

SPEAKER_04 32:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

You know what I'm saying? Our whole atmosphere needs to be positive. Mm-hmm. That that is the only way. We need to build, we need to speak scripture in each other's lives to build one another up. That's right. You know, to to to set the foundation of God's word in our lives.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

You know?

SPEAKER_03 32:56

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

All right. So now we're on segment four. Communication in relationships. So in marriage, in friendship, and in church, communication can be the bridge or the barrier.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yes. Ephesians four and twenty nine says, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for building up. That's a daily challenge. And it is. It's a daily challenge because we wake up with attitudes. We wake up with our own stuff.

SPEAKER_04 33:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

But this is why every day we have to renew the mind, the heart. You know what I'm saying? We need to ask God to to forgive us, to to help our mouths. This is why we need a prayer life.

SPEAKER_04 33:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

You know, so that we can be our best selves for our spice our spouse. Yeah. On a daily basis. You know what I'm saying? Because we don't want it to be a situation where that corrupt talk or just that that nature is coming out of us. You know, I want the fruits of the spirit in me. You know. So every day I'm I'm pleading that over myself. You know, I am, you know, I I want that fruit. That fruit of the spirit. I need that. That's a free gift that God gave me. I need that in my life. You know, we all should want that fruit.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

You know?

SPEAKER_03 34:37

That's good. And you know, I've I I keep saying this, but I have learned also, you know, not just what to say, but when to say it. Um and timing is part of grace. Right? And so like I said, it's it's separating yourself. You know, you you have to you gotta slow down. And I think sometimes we're so quick. We we just ooh, it just it sometimes we're our worst enemy. I'll put it that way. Sometimes we are our worst enemy and we get our own so we're like, dang, how do we go from here to 180 in like 30 seconds? Like it don't even make no sense. We were just smiling and hugging like five seconds ago. We said one thing and we over here on the 360 side. Like, how we get over here, man?

SPEAKER_01 35:28

It's that it's that spark.

SPEAKER_03 35:30

It's uh it's that burning spark that burning spark light you up.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

That tongue. It's that tongue that we talk about.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

Oh my gosh, you guys, it will get you in trouble every time. So just just slow down, just take that time, slow down, have grace, have grace for each other and pray.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

Amen. That's beautiful. Um, and as we've talked to you guys before about prayer changes how we speak. Man, this is why we've been we we we did a whole segment, uh a whole podcast on prayer.

SPEAKER_04 36:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Because prayer is so important. When we pray for someone, we speak to them differently. More compassion, less judgment. You know what I'm saying? Prayer for folk uh uh forces you to look at yourself. Yeah you know what I'm saying? Yep. It it's all right. It forces you to take accountability of yourself. You know what I'm saying? Um and it it's a and it's a beautiful thing. And prayer, pray. Have make sure you have a prayer life, a prayer regimen in your life on a daily basis. Have your relationship with God, pray with your spouse. Develop that prayer time with your spouse where you pray together. And the Bible says pray without ceasing. Man, you should be walking around praying all the time. God, ooh, be with me, Lord. I'm going up in here. Be with me, God. Just kind of have a running prayer with you. You know what I'm saying? Every decision, everything you're doing, just be praying. Asking God to be a part of what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

That's right. That's right. So, yeah, so I think that's great, baby. And um we right now, you know, on that great thing that you just said, we are going to go ahead and pray right now. So, um, to close this up and pray. And um, right? Yeah, okay. So maybe, you know, you're listening right now and you've been hurt by words or you said things that you have regretted. Um, there is grace for that. And we just ask that God just be with you and give you encouragement and just allow you to just come to him and give you direction, give you peace, give you his his grace, God, that he just covers you with every single day. Cover our tongues, God. Let us just slow down and be thankful and um just be, you know, be blessed in everything that we say that we're gonna do, Lord. So we just thank you, and we ask that this podcast be a blessing to all the marriages here. And we just thank you, God, because we are we know you are the only one that saves, God, and we just love you. And we thank you, God, for this opportunity in this podcast in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Amen. Amen. Thanks for joining us on Anchored in Grace today. We hope today reminded you of the power of your words. Remember, the one who anchors you in grace is also holding you in his love and peace.

SPEAKER_03 38:55

Let's use our voices to bless, to build up, and to reflect in Jesus. Until next time, have a wonderful week.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Thank you so much.