Is Marriage a Covenant or Contract

Join hosts Eric and Sharris in this thought-provoking episode as they tackle a pressing question: Is marriage a covenant or a contract? Dive deep into the heart of what it means to unite in marriage, as they explore God's divine design for a lifelong commitment rather than a mere transactional arrangement.

Discover the profound significance behind the terms "covenant" and "contract" as Eric and Sharris illuminate key biblical covenants established between God and humanity. With personal anecdotes and insightful examples, they illustrate how God has never broken His covenant with us, urging us to reflect on our own promises to our spouses.

Are you ready to challenge your beliefs about marriage? Tune in and be inspired to embrace the sacred and lasting nature of your vows. This is more than just a conversation; it's an invitation to deepen your understanding of love and commitment. Let’s embark on this enlightening journey together! 💍✨

Link to:
Marriage Covenant Contract 
http://aftv.news/7806592

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of our podcast, Anchored in Grace. I am Eric.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

And I'm Charis.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

So let me open up with a prayer. Father God, in Jesus' name, thank you so much for being with us today, Lord. And God, we just thank you, Lord, for just being with the people, Lord. And we just ask God that you bless us as we connect, as we go through our subject today, Lord. And we just thank you. In Jesus' name we pray. We thank you. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Amen. All right, you guys. So today we are diving into a very important and often misunderstood topic. Marriage is a covenant or is it a contract?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Yes. Yes. Which is one of those things that, you know, we often get into a conversation in couples about marriage, covenant or contract. That's right, Charles. In a time when marital commitments seem to be diminishing, you know, God presents us as Christians with a fresh opportunity to showcase a different type of marriage, I believe. And I think that's really, really important. You know, one founded on a covenant that lasts for a lifetime. And what does that mean? You know? For me personally, Shars, my wife, my soulmate, she is my soulmate. The one that God made for me. And I know this because the first time I ever saw her, when we were at church, God spoke to me in a very clear way. And clearer than I'd ever heard before in my life. And I'm being really honest about that. And he told me, This woman is your i is your wife. That's how I know she's my soulmate because God told me she's for you. Right. You know? So I take that very serious.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

That's okay. Absolutely. And I so truly, wholeheartedly believe that because and I know that's in alignment is because God spoke the same thing to me at the same time. I don't know if it was at the exact same time he told you, but God clearly whispered to me, That is your husband. So, um yeah, that's so beautiful. I love it. So um when the Lord Jesus Christ becomes the center focal focus of um of couples' lives, um, the distinctive marriage truly flourishes. And that's in Ephesians five, twenty-five and thirty-three. And I'm gonna read that. Um and so in twenty-five through thirty-three it says, Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy cleansing by the washing with the water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his love his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body. But they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. Of we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be able to be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound and mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of us also must love his wife and his and he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Amen, amen. And I call that covenant scripture. You know, that that scripture is so important for a husband and wife to read together, to to really get in your heart, to really get in your spirit, because God is really laying down the foundation of what your marriage is and what brings you together and what keeps you together, which is really important.

unknown 4:49

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

You know, what anchors you in Christ, you know, which is Christ. Um and you know, Ephesians 5 and 31 and also in Genesis 2 and 24, which both are foundational ver verses about marriage, um, they both state for this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. We can see how profound the mystery is about Christ and the church. You know, um, it's so important to God that we understand that when we come together, when when we leave our prospective families and we come together and we build something together, it's forever. You know, it's not willy-nilly, it's not like uh because it's a new trend. It's something that we're coming together, we're serious about, and we're forming something that's permanent. You know?

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Exactly, Eric, and you know, a Christian marriage exemplifies this beautiful union. And when Jesus saves and transforms each partner, and they choose to live for him rather than themselves, um, they present a grander vision of love.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

That's beautiful, beautiful. I remember uh I think it was uh it's been almost a year now, maybe a year and a half. Um when we were s doing our celebration of our twenty sixth wedding anniversary with our family. And we have friends there. It was a beautiful, beautiful ceremony that was a long time coming, right?

unknown 6:45

It really was, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Um it was actually the the owner, you know, who was serving us, one of helping out with serving our tables. Um and he discovered our occasion. And he was looking at us, he was like, Man, you guys are young to be married for 26 years, right? And I was like, Oh yeah, we got married, you know, we were young when we got married, you know. And he said, man, he goes, what is the secret for being together for 26 years? And I looked at him, I said, my answer is very simple. We both belong to Jesus Christ, and he is the one who has kept us together. I said, everything we do is centered in Christ. And I said, that doesn't mean we're perfect, but we know the source of our strength, and that is the key to everything that we go through. That is that everything we do must go through him. Yeah, and um the Bible um in the Bible says um there are there are multiple examples of covenants. So now we're gonna talk about um a couple examples of covenants. Um so Shars.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Yeah, I'll talk about a couple. So there's you know a few I'm gonna talk about, such as the Noahic covenant, which is Noah, um, where God promises never to flood the earth again.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

And then there's also the Abrahamic covenant, where God promises land and descendants.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yes, yep. There was the Mosaic Covenant, which was about Moses, which established a relationship with Israel based on the law that was given to Moses, and the David covenant, which was about David, where God King David, where God gave uh where God promised an eternal destiny through David. You know.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

And of course the new covenant established through Jesus, which offers forgiveness of sins and a closer relationship with God, which we all we all need that, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Oh, amen. Every day. Every day.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Yes. So Eric, let's dive deeper into the distinction between a covenant and a contract. First, let's talk about contracts are transactional, whereas covenants are relational.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

And you know, I think it's important a little bit, I guess, just to say that for us this is an important topic because, you know, when we first start talking about this conversation, what made us dive into this is what we see in marriages today. We see a lot of people that treat marriages very transactional. They treat marriages almost like, you know, it's it a a transaction at a store like they're buying groceries.

unknown 10:10

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Um, like, man, this this didn't taste good, so I'm gonna take it back. Oh man, this didn't fit, I'm gonna go take this back. You know what I mean? It got the the Costco return policy. You know what I mean? And your spouse shouldn't have the Costco return policy where you can take it back anytime you want. You know what I mean?

unknown 10:30

No.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Um your marriage should be a covenant, you know what I'm saying? It should be something that lasts. You know, when God went into a covenant with man, it's something that lasts forever. And you should think of your marriage as something that lasts forever, you know? So important. And, you know, um, where was I at? So um, yeah, so let's break it down a little bit more. A covenant is a binding, unbreakable agreement or pact, particularly between God and humanity. So we gave you some examples of that, you know, with the different covenants that God had made with man. It's a relationship formalized with specific conditions that offer blessings for obedience and consequences for di disobedience, and it's sealed in blood. Big thing. And second, contracts can be broken. And now here's a difference contracts can be broken, but a covenants are intended to be and eternal.

unknown 11:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

So also, so I'm gonna break it down too a little bit more, and um while a contract, on the other hand, is a legally binding agreement that lays out the terms and conditions of an exchange of goods or services. It's much more transactional with terms and condition that can be broken. As you visualize your marriage and as you're listening, you know, to this podcast, from this point we challenge you, you know, Eric and I, we challenge you guys to consider if it is a i you know, is it a covenant instead of a contract? Um because it's so important to understand the difference. So um breaking this down to just, you know, off of Webster Dictionary, a contract is it is usually a legal legally binding agreement between two or more parties that created mutual obligations enforced and is enforceable by the law. Okay? A covenant says it's a sacred lifelong commitment between two people mirroring the covenant between God and humanity according to biblical interpretation. This covenant involves not just legal and contractual obligations, but it's also deep spiritual and personal promises. And then it says unlike contracts that can be terminated, a covenant is understood as a permanent and unbreakable bond. Can you all hear me on that? Like that's crazy, you know, when you really think about the difference, a contract says what it is, right? It's breakable. It can be enforced by law, they can take it to a a judge, you can go do what you need to do. Law enforcement, you know, can get involved. But when you have a covenant it's so much deeper. You know what I'm saying? That's that's blood involved. That's two people's emotions and feelings and it's something that you have, it's it's your obligation. You know what I'm saying? Between the two of you standing at the at the altar, you know, saying like, Hey, this is what we're doing. We we are agreeing to this step for our future. Right? So yeah. So it's it's just crazy. But lastly, contracts are often made to protect oneself. That's you know, that's the difference. So contracts are often made to protect oneself. While covenants are made to show love, loyalty and commitment. So if you think about the difference there, that's a huge difference in comparison.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

And sacrifice, I would add.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Sacrifice, yeah, that's another one.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

A big time sacrifice, you know. Um now moving on to our first point. Um God designed marriage to be a covenant, not a contract.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Mm-hmm. That's right. A marriage is intended to be a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman and God. Unfortunately that's not the reality of many people today, both inside and outside of the church. So, Eric, can you talk to us about um like what's kinda going on in the big scheme of things of the world today?

SPEAKER_01 15:29

You know, in America, um, there there was an average of six hundred and seventy-two, five hundred and two thousand so six six hundred and seventy-two, five hundred and two thousand divorces. So six hundred and seventy-two, five hundred and two divorces a year from yeah, on average.

unknown 15:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

From the year the year two thousand to the year twenty three to the year twenty twenty-three. So for twenty for twenty-three years straight, on average, there were over almost 700,000 divorces per year. That's a lot of divorces, if you think about it. And this leads to difficult situations whereas one in four biological-born kids live with their natural fathers. So because moms and dads aren't married, biological kids often don't live with their fathers. One in four.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

You know, live with their fathers. You know?

SPEAKER_00 16:39

That's a big number.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

It that's t that's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

That's terrible.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

You know. And this this state uh th this tells me that we have a lot of work to do, but um there's no job that is too big for the most high God. You know? Not at all.

unknown 17:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

And where was all that information from?

SPEAKER_01 17:03

You know, I was just looking on on census.gov. Wow. You know.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Wow. We got some work to do.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Ladies and gentlemen, we really do.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

So thank you for sharing that information. Yeah, and it's you know, you put it into perspective that way, you know. And some of us are a part of that number too. You know what I mean? And you know, that's why we're doing this podcast to shine light and so we can help lighten that number. You know?

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Yeah, we want the same marriages. We won't we want to get marriage back to God.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

That's right. That's right. So, wow, goodness. Okay. So some people believe that cohabitation or creating marriage contracts might be the answer. But similar to a driver's license, that can be renewed or allowed to expire.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Hmm. Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Um but the truth is God not only informs us about the marriage covenant, but also models it in his commitment to Israel and and Jesus' commitment to the church. You know, God ever since God and Chr with Christ, you know, he has modeled the marriage, the whole um sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the death and and and the whole um piece of um of Jesus at being the bridegroom and the church um being the bride, that very model for us, you know, is that model of marriage and it's beautiful. It's perfect. It's the perfect model.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So in um Proverbs two, sixteen and seventeen, Solomon warns about the consequences of forsaking one's covenant with God and a spouse. And it says in Proverbs two, sixteen and seventeen, it says, Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman from the seductive words of the promiscu promiscuous woman. She has abandoned her husband and ignores the covenant she made before God.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Ma'am, ma'am. That ultimate ultimately leads leads to man in an estrangement from both God and one's spouse spouse and a commitment to one's self. You know, that's ma'am, that's that's something else. You know, ma'am.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

And our second point today is the concept of sacrificial commitment since marriage is a covenant and it requires this level of commitment.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Yes. In the New Testament we encounter the word love, agape, indicating a sacrificial commitment to the loved one. You know, and you know that's a big thing about a covenant. You know, sacrificial love. That's why I mentioned the word sacrifice earlier, you know. When you are in a when you perceive your marriage as a covenant, you're saying, I am sacrificing, I'm giving of myself in this relationship. I'm not in this thing to protect myself. I'm in here, I'm making myself vulnerable because we are one. We're together. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

That's right. And then uh you just did the new testament, so I'm gonna talk about the old testament and the term of marriages and hopefully I don't mess this word up, but it's called conducian. It's spelled K-I-D-D-U-S-H-I-N also carries the meaning of sacrifice. Marital love is supposed to be inherently sacrificial.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Exition. Caduce. Exactly. It's not about merely having warm feelings, right?

unknown 21:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

It's about the commitment to selflessly give to one another.

unknown 21:39

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

You know selflessly.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

You know, that's important.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Mm-hmm. So, furthermore, marriage as a covenant covenant is a permanent commitment. As Genesis 2 tells us, we are called to leave our parents, cleave to one another, and Become one flesh.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Amen. Yes. And as Jesus states in Matthew 19 and 6, what God has joined together, let no man separate.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

That's right. So when we commit to leaving and cleaving, we open ourselves to experience the blessed gift of oneness, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Amen. Amen. That's the essence of the true intimacy and transparency within a marriage. You know. That's what it's all about. You know? That's what it's all about. And when we when you when you experience that in your marriage, it is the best feeling ever.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

It truly is. It truly is. So you gotta stay encouraged that way and know that marriage is a covenant. It's not a contract.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

It's definitely not. And if if you when you think about I want you to think about what we said about Costco earlier. Do you want your marriage to be viewed as something that you can return anytime you get tired of it?

unknown 23:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Do you want it to be that easy?

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Is that what you're is that what marriage is about to you?

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Yep. If it was that easy, anybody could do it.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Anybody. Anything good you gotta work hard for.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

You have to.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

You have to work hard.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

If you're not willing to put in work, you should have never got married. You know what I mean?

unknown 23:45

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

And I say that to anybody, because it could be people here that's listening, that's thinking about getting married. Yeah. If you're not willing to work hard and to to go beyond yourself and to be sacrificial, do not get married. Until you're ready to do that. Ask God to help you search your heart to break the selfishness in you that would be preventing you from being able to do those things. Work on yourself so that you can be all you can be for your spouse. Because that's what Christ does for us. Everything that Christ does for us is sacrificial. That's why He is our bride's groom. He sacrifices everything. He died for us on the cross. He gave us life. He laid it down for us. He came and experienced. We learned today about him being our shepherd, right? And Christ being our shepherd, and him in him being our shepherd, he came and experienced everything that we would ever experience in flesh. Jehovah Rohi. Jehovah Rohi. And a good shepherd knows what his sheep experience. Jesus is the ultimate shepherd because he went through it. He felt everything we would ever feel.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

So he knows.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

That's right. So everybody stay encouraged, stay strong. And as we wrap up today's discussion, we encourage our listeners to dive deeper into understanding the sacredness of marriage as a covenant and its significant in today's world. So enclosed in the marriage covenant agreement, we have a um print-off that you guys can read over together as a couple. This is about making that additional commitment to your spouse that you are locked in for the long haul as a covenant partners. So definitely check that out. It's an attachment that will be on the podcast. So make sure you guys do that.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Amen. And don't forget to subscribe for more discussions like this.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

And don't forget to cut on your notifications. So when we, you know, when we cut on our new um episodes and we don't, you know, have to share it or whatever, you guys just automatically know when we're um updating a new episode. So make sure you cut on your um notifications.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

And we would love you to have you know share comments on what you're liking and you know something you want to hear if there are other subjects, you know, that type of thing.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Yeah, post them in the comments.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Post them yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Definitely. Yes. So until next time, remember to love selflessly and cherish the covenant of marriage.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

And remember, the one who anchors you in grace is also holding you in his love and peace.

unknown 27:14

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

So, Father God, in Jesus' name, Lord, we thank you for this conversation about covenants versus contracts, God. And Lord, we just ask in Jesus' name, Lord, that those who listen, Lord, that whatever it is that you wanted them to get from this subject, God, that they receive it, God, in Jesus' name. God, send your spirit, God, God. God, we pray for marriages, God, any marriages that are in distress, any new marriages that are about to grow, God, and people who are seeking to get married, God. God, we just ask right now in Jesus' name, God, that your will be done in their lives, God. And God, we just plead the blood of Jesus over them, God. And we just thank you, God, for all that you're gonna do in their lives, God, and all the things that you're gonna do for them, God. So we just thank you and we just honor you, Lord. In Jesus' name we pray. And we just praise you, God, and we thank you. In your holy name, we pray. Amen. Thank you so much. You have a great day.