Anchored In Grace Marriage Podcast

Marriage Lessons Taught By Nature

Eric & Sharris Nicholson Season 1 Episode 9

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🎙️ Marriage Lessons Taught by Nature
Episode: Grow Together – Not Apart
In this inspiring episode of Marriage Lessons Taught by Nature, hosts Eric and Sharris invite you to step outside and look at how God’s creation mirrors His design for marriage. Just as trees grow stronger when rooted deep in rich soil and nourished by sunlight and water, couples are called to grow together—not apart—with Christ as their foundation.

Through Scripture, real-life reflection, and practical encouragement, Eric and Sharris explore how unity, humility, and daily care can transform your relationship into a thriving spiritual garden. You’ll discover how to cultivate the right “conditions” for growth—through prayer, forgiveness, and faith—and learn how God’s Word, like sunlight, brings warmth and guidance to your marriage.

Join the conversation and be reminded that marriage is not about competing, but completing one another in love. Whether you’re newly married or have weathered many seasons together, this episode will refresh your heart and help you see your relationship through the lens of God’s creation.

🌿 Scripture Highlight:

“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him.” — Colossians 2:7 (NLT)

💭 Tune in and grow with us—as we learn how nature itself teaches us the beauty of staying anchored in grace, rooted in Christ, and growing stronger side by side.

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📘 Homework / Growth Challenge
1. Read Together: Psalm 92:12–15 and John 15:1–8 (NLT). 
 *Talk about what “bearing fruit” looks like in your marriage.
2. Date Night Challenge: Go outside together this week — take a walk, sit under a tree, or watch the sunrise. Talk about how nature reminds you of God’s design for your marriage.
3. Pray Together: Ask God to reveal one “weedy” habit to prune and one “seed” to plant in your relationship this week.
4. Memory Verse: “Let your roots grow down into Him…” (Colossians 2:7 NLT) — write it somewhere visible and meditate on it together.

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SPEAKER_00

Hey everyone, welcome back to Anchored in Grace, the podcast where the faith meets real life and where we learn to build marriages anchored in God's word and his grace.

SPEAKER_02

We're so glad you're joining us today. If you've ever felt disconnected or stagnant in your marriage, today's episode is just for you. We're diving into how nature itself, yes, God's creation teaches us powerful lessons about growth in our marriages, right, Eric?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_02

So let's start by inviting God into this moment. Eric, you want to lead us in prayer this time?

SPEAKER_00

I would love to, beautiful. Thank you so much for the opportunity. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the beauty of your creation and the lessons you've woven into it. Just as you cause trees to grow strong and rivers to flow with life, we ask that you help our marriages grow and flourish in your presence. Teach us to nurture one another, to remain rooted in your word, and to bear fruit that glorifies you. Yes, God. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_02

All right, and the main scripture that um represents this podcast today is coming from Psalms 92, 12 through 14, and it says, the righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon, for they are transplanted to the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even our even in old age, they will still produce fruit, they will remain vital and green.

SPEAKER_00

Amen.

SPEAKER_02

So Psalms 92, 12 through 14.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. This is such a beautiful promise. God says those who remain planted in Him will continue to grow in fruit even into their old age. Amen. This is about being obedient, this is about listening. This is about honoring what God says. If we do the things that God tells us to do, we will be blessed.

SPEAKER_01

That's good.

SPEAKER_02

I love it. So um also in marriage, it says, you know, that the same principles apply. So when we're planted in the Lord, when our relationship is rooted in Him, our love doesn't fade with time. It matures, it deepens, and it also flourishes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and and that's key. Your marriage is it's a it's it's it's a it's a work of art. You know what I'm saying? It's something that you work at, you know, as something that Shars and I like to kind of say that we're a work in progress. That's right. And it's growing, it takes time. It's like fine wine that matures over time. And it gets better with time. And it and it really does. It deepens, it flourishes, it matures, it gets better, it gets it it adds value over time.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Yeah, just like plants, you know, when you first get a plant that's kind of weak, the roots are small, and then they start growing. Sometimes they you know they even start to change colors. That's right, you know, and that's the maturity that's deepening inside of that plant.

SPEAKER_00

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_00

That's right. So we're gonna be talking about in our first section here grow together, not apart. So growth is at the heart of every lasting relationship, and I want you to think about that. Growth. Growth is really important, but growth can't happen in isolation, you know, you can't grow by yourself, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, that's really good. I think people really need to think about that because I think you know, sometimes you can even for people that have been married multiple times, you know, um, because you can be in a relationship, but you know, you want the sensibility of I have a relationship, but you can't grow in isolation, right? You can you say I want the title, but I want to be by myself, right? So I think it's important what you said, you know, you can't grow in isolation. I I think about people in relationships like that that continually do that, and um sometimes they are growing in isolation and they're not growing together with their partner, yeah. You know, and that can be the reason or the cause of you know divorce or um separation from their partners because they are in an isolated state, they're not growing together.

SPEAKER_00

So that's right, yeah, that's right, because the scripture does say that God put us together and made us one flesh, one flesh, amen. So that we would grow together.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. That's so good. Wow. So um, so you know, if I'm focused on my needs and not your needs, I'm building my own little garden apart from you, right? Um, and eventually we'll drift apart.

SPEAKER_00

That's deep. That's that's real deep. Um, yeah. I wow, that drift, you know, and I think I see that in couples a lot. Yeah, you know, where they're doing things independent of one another.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that's where harm comes in. I see it a lot in young people, young couples, where they want to hold on to their independence so much because they're always here today. I gotta be me. I gotta hold on to me. I can't let nobody take away who I am, you know. But it's not about that.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know, and don't allow the devil to deceive you and think that you're losing you by becoming one flesh with your spouse.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's a deception of this world. You know, there are so many deceptions in this world that will deceive you right out of a beautiful marriage. So it's very important that you have your eyes open and your heart open and that you're willing to be sacrificial because Christ was sacrificial. So we have to be sacrificial in our relationships.

SPEAKER_01

That's good, man.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. This is truly important. Don't forget that. Ephesians 5 and 31 reminds us, as the scriptures say, a man leaves his father and mother and is joined in his wife. I was mentioning this earlier to his wife, and the two are united into one. We are one flesh. Yeah, that means we're meant to grow together, not separately.

SPEAKER_02

Not separate.

SPEAKER_00

There you go.

SPEAKER_02

Just that confirmation there, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yep. We are meant to grow together. Ephesians 5 and 31. Let it burn in your mind.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's great.

SPEAKER_00

God didn't mean marriage to be a separate thing of individuality.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. So also, you know, when we operate as one, our growth blesses both of us. And ultimately, who does that glorify, Eric?

SPEAKER_00

It glorifies God.

SPEAKER_02

Amen. So you know, when we so I'm gonna say that one more time, you know, when we operate as one, when we operate as one, our growth blesses both of us. And it glorifies God, and it ultimately glorifies God, amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_00

That is the truth. So work together, work together and be one and glorify God in it. That's right, that's right, that's right. So, our next section, we're talking about good soil, and the themes of tonight are about around nature, so you're gonna hear that, you know. So, good soil, a foundation of faith. So, let's start with soil and nature. Good soil gives roots the nutrients they need to grow strong and stable. You know, you need really credible dirt. My dad is like a is from North Carolina, he grew up farming, and you know, I grew up learning from him different things about farming and how farming works. And it's amazing, you know, the science in farming. And there's so many different types of dirt and stuff like that. And and there's certain dirt where things won't grow. Yeah, there's certain times where uh a dirt can bear like for years and years, and then there's some years where my dad will say that dirt needs to rest this time. Yeah, we need to let that rest. We're not gonna grow anything in this bed here. We're gonna let it rest and we're gonna use this one over here. You know what I mean? We need to let that the nutrients in that one build back up because it's been used so much. You know, so you know, that makes me think like, wow, you know, just the the the science, the science in that and the roots, and you know, we need to be in good soil. You know, what is our soil? What are we plugged into? You know, we need to be rooted into God, his word. We need to be rooted into um prayer, good habits, things that are gonna build us up and and and and build our marriage and keep us on a straight and narrow so that we don't fall off. You know, we gotta have that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah, and kind of what you know, what you're talking about is like, you know, in our marriage, our soil is our foundation, you know, it's our faith, you know, and when our marriage is rooted in God's word, it becomes stable and fruitful. Not just stable, right? You know, and you think about roots stable that that connects you, it gives you a foundation, but also in that stability, you're producing fruit. So, you know, not only are you just gonna be rooted, but you're also gonna produce. So that's that's the beautiful part of our foundation when we have God connected. So I'm gonna give you guys a scripture um coming from Colossians 2 and 7, and it says, Let your roots grow down into Him and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught. Colossians 2 and 7.

SPEAKER_00

I like that. I like that. I like that a lot. Amen. You know, and you know, ask yourself, you know, what kind of soil is in your marriage? I really want you to think about that. Yeah, what are you rooted in? You know, in your marriage, that's something I want you and your spouse to think about. What is your marriage rooted in? Is it soil of faith, forgiveness, and grace, or soil of resentment and pride? You know, these are things that you really need to think about so that you're able to think about how you're operating in your marriage. Because if you are operating in resentment and pride, that will explain the state of your marriage if you haven't struggles.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, that's kind of if your marriage is doing well and you feel like I'm thriving, then you're rooted in faith, forgiveness, and in grace. Yeah, and you're embodying the things that Christ died for. You know, so really take this and do a self-examination and think about where you are, because it's easy to fall off at times for all of us. Yeah, ain't none of us perfect. So we need to do a self-examination all the time.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. That's really good. I like that. Self-examination. I love it. So in the next segment, um, we're gonna talk about sunlight, Christ as the source of our life. Okay, so plants can't grow without sunlight, right? Okay, that's right. So it's their life source, and that's that's what we need. We need that God is that for us, He is our our source. So plants can't grow without sunlight. We can't grow without it either. That's right. You know, we need God in our life.

SPEAKER_00

That's right, that's right. And for us, Christ is our son, you know, and not only is the Eda's son, he is the son of God, right?

SPEAKER_01

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Uh the source of all spiritual energy and growth. Yeah, the Lord God is our son and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good things from those who do what is right. Psalms 84 and 11. You know, those who do what is right, I'm telling you, read your psalms every day. Yeah, and get in the habit of reading your psalms for you, not for nobody else. Yeah, read your songs because there's life-building things in psalms that will change your life and will change you personally. You know, so that's good. Read those.

SPEAKER_02

And when we let his light shine into our marriage, even in the dark, hidden places, he brings healing and warmth, which is beautiful every single day.

SPEAKER_00

Healing and warmth. He certainly does. I always think about the things that God has brought us through.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

He's brought us through so many things, dark days, hard days. Yeah. And Shharus and I wouldn't have made it through those difficult moments without God.

SPEAKER_01

Without God.

SPEAKER_00

And I can look at her today and be thankful to my most high God.

SPEAKER_01

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Because we are here today in our marriage because of him.

SPEAKER_01

That's the truth.

SPEAKER_00

You know, if your relationship feels cold or distant, maybe it's time to turn your face back toward the sun. The son of God.

SPEAKER_02

And that's the S O.

SPEAKER_00

That's the S O N.

SPEAKER_02

I love that.

SPEAKER_00

You know what I'm saying? The Son of God.

SPEAKER_02

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Turn your that's another self-examination. Only you know where your relationship is with him. Yeah, it is not for any of us to judge that, but it's for you to know and for you to say, God, I'm I'm ready to run back to you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, there's a beautiful song, um, one of my favorite songs of all time by a group called Commission. It's called I'm Running Back to You. If you've never heard it, look it up on Spotify or whatever you use. It's a beautiful song.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's beautiful. I always remind um this always, you know, when you said um, when you said um you, what did you just say? You said it's time to turn your face back toward the SON. And it always reminds me when um we had Michaela. Um I remember it was like probably like maybe two days after she was born, and it was in July, and it was a hot summer, and uh we sat outside and we had been in the house a couple days, right? And then we went outside and I just needed some fresh air. And we went outside and she was so so little, seven pounds, you know, and um she was just so content, you know, so just peaceful. And I was holding her, and we were sitting out on the front porch, and it was kind of like we were in a shaded area, and then the sun just shone, you know, shined on her, and it was just only shining on her. It's like I was holding her, but it was just shining right on her, and she was like kind of kind of balled up, but it was like as soon as the sun touched her, she just her whole body opened up and she just stretched, and that's that's what this reminds me of when you said that, because I was like, wow, you know, that's so beautiful, because it was just like you said, it's time to turn your face back toward the SON, the SON. And that's what God does. Once you come to Him, He opens you up, opens you up, and sets you free, and sets you free, and that's how she looked, and it was just so I get emotional because she just looks so peaceful, that's right, you know, in that moment, I'm like, wow. And you could just from a parent looking down at your child, like I know God has her cover. That's right.

SPEAKER_00

That's right, that's right, and you know, hearing what Shara's is saying there, if you've ever been closed up in a situation, hurt by something, and you've been closed up and you've lost a connection, you know, you can always come back to him. Yeah, his hands are always wide open, ready to receive you, and to love you as he always has, because he never stops loving you.

SPEAKER_01

That's right.

SPEAKER_00

You know, just know that you can never do anything that will ever have him stop loving you. Yeah, hands as wide open right now, amen. So, our next segment: water, the living water of Christ. Just as water nourishes plants, we need living water to ref to refresh our souls of our marriages. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. An eternal life. John 4 and 14. Come on now. I love that.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. And when we spend time with Jesus in prayer, in worship, and in his word, he fills us up again. He um, you know, and if your marriage feels dry, you guys go to him together, pray, read, and refill your hearts with his Holy Spirit. Because his Holy Spirit is here to comfort us. That's right, to lead us and give us direction here on earth. So use our tools and resources that we have that God has gifted us here on earth.

SPEAKER_00

And just know Christ came to quench a thirst and to give you water so that you will never be thirsty again. This just know that. Yeah, when you drink the water of Christ, you will never be thirsty again.

unknown

Ever.

SPEAKER_02

And I know we all have had that feeling where you're like out somewhere and you're like, oh, I'm just so thirsty.

SPEAKER_03

I need some water.

SPEAKER_02

You know, God said I will quench your thirst.

SPEAKER_03

That's right.

SPEAKER_02

And that is that to me is just so beautiful. Because if if I ever felt my life feeling like that, and that's a bad feeling when you feel dehydrated or you don't have water in your body, and people that are you know, nurses out here that are on the podcast, you know, listening, you know. What that does to your bodies, what it does to the human body, and oh man, it's crazy. So, you know, the electrolytes, you know, those things you need to reproduce and get your body flowing, and God is that, you know what I'm saying? So he's the one that keeps it flowing. So I just thank God that he will never let it run dry.

SPEAKER_00

Never. And I just know they ain't nothing like him. Nothing. That's right. Nothing at all.

SPEAKER_02

Hallelujah. So we're gonna go to our next segment, and that is maintenance, pruning for growth. We all need pruning, right? So every healthy plant needs pruning. It's not punishment, it's preparation for greater fruit. You hear me? It is preparation for greater fruit. And I love this scripture. Um, it says, He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do not bear fruit, so they will produce even more. John 15 and 2. So if you really hear that scripture and really break it down, you know, when it says he cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit. If I'm not producing fruit, God's gonna cut it all down. Cut it, yes, but but it says there's a common, it says, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit. And there's you know, and our pastor was even talking about this a couple weeks ago and talking about in people that garden and different things, you know, that are listening. When there are fruit that is on that branch, you're gonna you have to cut it differently than just a blunt cut, you know what I mean? You have to cut it at an angle. There's certain ways you have to do it, so you're gonna get more than what is currently there for the next season or for in the next um harvest. That's right. So receive those blessings because God wants you to bear fruit so you will produce even more. So that's in John 15 and 2.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. Speak on that one, that's beautiful. And sometimes God allows us to face challenges so that we have so we can grow together, you know, and that's a real thing. Me and Shara had to face some really hard challenges together. We went through some things and it was hard, but we grew through it in an amazing way that transformed our lives. He pruned, he will, he is pruning away pride that that happened for us, bad habits that happened for us, unhealthy patterns that happened for us. And I'm just being transparent because I want you to know that you have to go through hard things. That's right, and it's not gonna be easy sometimes to get to the good things. Yes, it it happens sometimes, it's gonna be that way, and that's okay, you know. You gotta be tried, you know. You're gonna be tried by the fire. Yeah, that's the truth, and that's okay, but go through your challenges, go through your growth steps and trust God through them.

SPEAKER_02

That's so good, Ben. You're right about that, and also in a marriage, that means being willing to say, I was wrong here, right? And work on those areas together. When we submit to the pruning process, our love deepens and becomes more fruitful. Amen. And I think this is a really good point in this podcast because I think a lot of times that's a hard one for a lot of people to hurdle, right? Yeah, a lot of people don't want to say I was wrong. Yeah, nobody wants to say they were wrong. Nobody. I think in our earlier years of us getting married, you know, 26 years ago, definitely we could be like, shoot, I know I wasn't wrong. He was wrong.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And because it's pride, right? Yeah, and you're young, you're immature, it was it was new, we didn't know better. Yeah, you know, but as we are more seasoned in our relationship, I I'm more mature where I can say, you know what? I was wrong, and I apologize. And do you forgive me? Because that made you feel away. And I know how that made me feel because I was wrong. Yes, and I see how it's making making you feel. So it's important for us to make sure that we acknowledge those things, and and it's okay to say I was wrong, it's so important. So maybe also, you know, in your relationship, your current relationship, in your marriage, start practicing that with the I was wrong, because that right there can set you free. That's a pruning, yeah. That's a a branch being cut off right there, you know what I mean, in that process, because that is going to free you, and that's gonna help you produce more fruit in your relationship.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I'm gonna say it to you like this. If you don't say it, you're not gonna have a marriage. And I'm just gonna be honest with you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's cool too. Because hey, that's that's the cutoff.

SPEAKER_00

That's the I'm I'm just gonna keep it real with you.

SPEAKER_02

You just cut the branch straight off, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I'm gonna keep it a a hundred with you. Yeah, no, it's true. You have to learn to be able to to to to to take criticism, to to and to take the criticism and say, okay, the corrective criticism, and to say, okay, I gotta make changes with what I heard and and take the emotion out of it and the pain from the words you heard, because we get offended. I suffered from offense. You know, we did a podcast about offense, whole podcast. I suffered from it personally. Yeah, words offended me really bad. Yeah, you know, and um it was really hard for me. You know, a lot of things from when I was young, when things I've gone through, dealing with this being offended really easy, always feeling like I gotta defend myself. And, you know, I've you know, used to in times feel like I had to defend myself in my marriage against my wife. Yeah, and I was terrible. And we had to fix that because it created a really bad friction point. You know, to the point where she didn't feel heard from me all the time because I wasn't listening.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, the devil can create these things. He had me feeling like she doesn't think caring about me in the right, you know, had me feeling like they all, you know, these people, you know, he can just have you feeling a certain way. Oh, yeah. You know, everyone is out to get you. Had her feeling like he's not gonna listen to you and other people ain't gonna listen to you either.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Or he listens to everybody else but me.

SPEAKER_00

Or he listens to everybody else but me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, those are the tricks the enemy uses against us.

SPEAKER_02

Trick bags.

SPEAKER_00

And I trick bags. And I know everyone deals with them. And we're being transparent about them because we know the devil's busy.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And we are warning you guys against these things because we want you to be successful in your marriage.

SPEAKER_03

That's right.

SPEAKER_00

And it takes prayer, it takes transparency, honesty, it takes you reading your Bible, it takes you spending time on your knees, reading your Bible by yourself, with your spouse, doing devotionals. You know, you need to do it all. You know what I mean? And having date nights, having times honest talk, yeah, conversations, yes, and work. Yeah, just working at it in yourself. Work. You gotta work at it every day. It's important, and it's hard. So I'm just putting that out there. I love it. So we're gonna talk about some of the practical reflection. Um, what's what's the play call? So, what's the play call today? Right? So check your soil. Are you rooted in faith or fear?

SPEAKER_01

That's good. Seek the sunlight. Are you spending time in Christ's presence daily?

SPEAKER_00

Drink the water. Are you filling your hearts with God's word and spirit?

SPEAKER_02

Allow pruning. Are you letting God shape your marriage for his glory? So nature also teaches us this truth. Growth takes time, attention, and care. The same is true in marriage.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. Yes, remember that. So we have some homework here for you. Here are some things, some growth challenges, you know, because we know marriage is about growth. So here are some growth challenges.

SPEAKER_02

So, number one, read together Psalms 92, 12 through 15, and John 15, 1 through 8. Talk about what bearing fruit looks like in your marriage.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. Date night challenge. Go outside together this week, take a walk, sit under a tree, watch a sunrise, talk about how nature reminds you of God's design for your marriage.

SPEAKER_02

Amen. Number three, pray together. Ask God to reveal one weedy habit to prune, and one seed to plant in your relationship this week.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. I like that. And memory verse let your roots grow down into him. Colossians 2 and 7. Write it somewhere visible and meditate on it together.

unknown

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. I love it. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's really good.

SPEAKER_02

So let's do our closing prayer. So, Father God, thank you for showing us your truth through the beauty of your creation, God. Thank you for teaching us how to grow in love, grace, and unity. Help us to stay rooted in you, to seek your light, and to drink deeply of your living water and to embrace your pruning process. May every marriage listening today flourish in your court and bear lasting fruit. In Jesus' name we pray.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. Amen, amen, amen. And remember, just like trees need roots, just like trees need deep roots and steady sunlight. Remember that.

SPEAKER_02

Your marriage needs to stay anchored in grace.

SPEAKER_00

Because when you're anchored in grace, you can weather any storm and grace and grow together, not apart. And remember, the one who anchors you in grace is also holding in his love, holding you in his love and peace.

SPEAKER_02

Amen. So we just want to say thank you so much for listening, and we hope that you like, share, share this with somebody who needs it. Share this with somebody who might just need some encouragement, you know. Um, like we said before, let us know what you would like to hear from us. You know, we love doing this, we are just doing God's work, and um, it's just definitely been on our heart to help marriages out there and just to be a blessing. So um we love you guys and we appreciate your guys' support. Make sure you guys like, subscribe so you can get all your notifications when we get all of our new um episodes up. So we really appreciate you guys, and until next time.

SPEAKER_00

See you then.

SPEAKER_02

All right, love y'all.