Changing Course Gracefully
Have you ever had that quiet, heavy feeling that you’re just a passenger in your own life? On paper, everything looks complete—you have the career, the stability, and the responsibilities of a capable adult. But inside, there is a nagging disconnection, a low hum of moving through your days on autopilot. I call this "Remote Control Living."
Welcome to Changing Course Gracefully. Hosted by author Elaina Kelly Smith, this show is an open invitation to step off autopilot, put down the invisible rules holding you back, and begin a profound, healing conversation with yourself. Through raw personal stories from all seven continents and the practical, gentle tools of the PARQS framework—Preferences, Awareness, Right Action, Questions, and Self-Acceptance—you’ll learn how to lay down your "fixer" dictionary, listen to your own body's feedback loop, and step-by-step build a durable foundation of deep self-trust. You don’t have to become someone new. You just have to return to who you have been all along. Welcome home to yourself.
Changing Course Gracefully
What is the PARQS Framework? The Wrong Number That Changed My Life
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PARQS is an acronym that stands for Preferences, Awareness, Right Action, Questions, and Self-Acceptance. It is a framework built over 15 years, born out of a single moment where a "wrong number" fundamentally shifted the course of Elaina Kelly Smith's life.
In this episode, Elaina shares the foundational story behind the framework and takes you on a journey to a four-rows-deep passport control line in Chile. Through this solo travel lens, you'll discover what happens when you finally stop looking at the "walls" in front of you, tune out the crowd, and listen to the quiet guidance of your internal navigation system.
Whether you are standing in a physical line or navigating a major life transition, this episode will teach you how to spot the hidden "kiosk machines" that open up a path to your truth.
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Connect with Elaina:
PARCS is an acronym. PARCS stands for preferences, awareness, right action, questions, and self-acceptance. For over the past 15 years, I've been working on this framework. I made the journey from restrictive upbringing to confident solo traveler because of a wrong number. One day, I pretended to be sick and stayed home and answered the phone. And that answering the phone changed the whole course of my life. And that's truly when my Odyssey began. One time when I was traveling in Chile, there I was at the passport control line. It was four rows deep. So there I was winding in and out of those lines. After about an hour, I was able to see the other side of the wall. And on that other side, I saw a bank of passport kiosk machines. But to the side, I saw three that no one was using. So I took a moment, listened to my inner voice, and thought to myself, I'm gonna take a chance. So I turned to the woman behind me, asked her if I stepped out of line, if I could come back to my place. She said yes. I took my suitcase and walked over to those kiosk machines, and to my surprise, they were in English. It was actually showing a how-to video. So I followed the instructions, it scanned my face, the glass doors parted, and out I went, free from that passport line. And that's an example of how right taking a right action in the moment can work out. What do I actually want? The powerful word there is actually. Saying actually to yourself allows you to pivot and consider your preferences, what you actually want. And finding out what you actually want begins a profound conversation that you have with yourself. At one moment, I can be looking for right actions. The next, I can be giving myself self-acceptance. Harks is dynamic. It flows with you wherever you are. Whether you're in line at the bank or you're standing in a really long line at the airport, it doesn't matter. Harks is there to support you. To get a copy of the First Steps kit, go ahead and click the link right there in the show notes. And let's start interrupting autopilot together. I look forward to welcoming you in the next episode. Bye for now.