Daily Gift of Friendship Authors on Love, Loss & Connection

Daily Gift of Friendship Authors on Love Loss & Connection
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The precious gift of friendship. In this Conversations That Make a Difference (CTMAD) episode, Teresa is joined by three beautiful souls who helped bring our newest book, A Daily Gift of Friendship, to life: the fifth book in the Daily Gift Book Series following Gratitude, Hope, Kindness, and Peace. Together, we explore how friendship holds us through grief, change, parenting, creativity, and the everyday moments that make life meaningful.

This episode is all about real friendships: the kind that last decades, hold steady through change, and create a safe place to be fully yourself. Let’s join Teresa with Mark Heidt, Chef Sofya Stearns, and Joseph Carrabis.

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Guest Information:
Sofya Stearns
Izabella’s Gourmet Chow - https://www.izabellasgourmetchow.com/
YouTube @chefsofya
Joseph Carrabis
https://josephcarrabis.com/
YouTube @josephcarrabis (Author)

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Transcript

Introduction and Serenity Prayer

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And you know that every word you speak matters. Are your conversations making a difference? With a passion for words and a heart for conversations, Teresa Pelordi is a self-professed worker, best-selling author, fit and 360 columnists and publisher. Children's books, as well as fiction and non-fiction books, are welcome at We Be Books Publishing and Book Endeavors. The imprints of her company, Authentic Endeavors Publishing. Whether written or spoken, Teresa strives to encourage and inspire meaningful conversations that make a difference. Here's the host of Conversations That Make a Difference, Teresa Villardi.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

And we're going to talk to them in just a minute. But as you know, everybody's got their copy. As you know, we start with a prayer. So let's do that right now. So let's start with the serenity prayer. God, grant us the serenity to accept things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And it is by God's grace that we are fabulous, blessed, and highly favored, living in our greatness, using our gifts and talents, making a difference in the lives of others with passion and purpose, and all of God's great universe is conspiring in our favor. So

Meet the guests: Mark Heidt, Sofya Stearns & Joseph Carrabis

SPEAKER_02 1:18

let me introduce the beautiful faces we have in front of us here. We'll start with Mark Heidt, who wrote the foreword for Daily Gift of Friendship. He's an award-winning writer, director, and producer of $30 million and worth of half-hour infomercials. He has a Bachelor of Science from Syracuse University and the State University of New York College of Environmental Silence and Science and Forestry. He has performed music at Carnegie Hall and fought forest fires in Idaho. Mark is the husband of Sandy, who has recently passed. The father of Ken and Ruth, and the grandfather of Graham. He has a unique perspective on influences that enlighten, empower, and motivate people to take effective action. His faith is above all. And Mark and I are good friends. We've been friends for many years. Welcome to Conversations That Make a Difference, Mark.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

Thank you, Teresa.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Nice to have you here. Sophia, Sophia Stearns, she wrote the introduction to the book, and she is the founder of Isabella's Gourmet Chow, a cooking school, exploring the world through cooking for kids and adults, incorporating languages and social studies. Chef Sophia is a passionate advocate for education and community support, dedicating her life to helping individuals and families through cooking, writing, and advocacy. Chef Sophia offers etiquette classes for kids and professionals and team building classes for professionals. She helps women and families to stay healthy and educates them on how to eat well without deprivation. She also leads programs for individuals with disabilities and families affected by addiction, depression, and chronic illness. Chef Sophia is a newly published author of the one and only and has a monthly column and Moms to Moms in Northern Connection out of Pittsburgh. Sophia, welcome to conversations that make a difference. It's wonderful to have you.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Thank you, Teresa, for having me.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

You're welcome. And Joseph Carabas is a master storyteller and linguist. Joseph weaves wildly imaginative stories with a sharp sense of humor. He creates multidimensional characters reaching beyond the boundaries of the laws of physics by combining advanced mathematics, quantum physics, cybernetics, and neuroscience. All I can say is, wow. Outside of writing, Joseph spends his time with his wife, Susan, reading, listening to, and playing music and walking his dog. He runs a monthly forum around table 360 with creatives discussing their journeys. Joseph, it's so good to have you here. And Joseph is responsible for the afterword in this book. So thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

Happy to be here. Happy to be part of it.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

I'm so glad. And we were supposed to have Peggy Wilms here today, who has read all the stories and helped in in creating the books. But Peggy has no voice right now, suffering from the flu, I believe. But um she she says hello to everyone. She's been on my show before, and she's sad that she couldn't be here. But I'm grateful for who is here, all of you. And I just am excited that this is the fifth book in the Daily Gift book series. So and um we're gonna start with Mark because Mark, you have been in every book of the series, and Sandy had written in two of the books, and your daughter hopped on board the writing bandwagon, too, to be part of the Daily Gift of Peace, which was a great story. Um, and now you came on board with the forward to this one. Tell me why the series talks to you.

Mark Heidt on the Daily Gift Book Series, Grief and Writing the Foreword

SPEAKER_04 5:30

Well, the thing about it is, Teresa, you know, the first time I wrote in the first book, you're always nervous and you're thinking about can I write, what can I do? I found out that she could have a really great writing. And that's you. You do a fabulous job.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 5:51

And that uh certainly gave me the confidence to then, as we had uh other topics and what have you, to want to write another essay and installment. And it's been a pleasure. It's really been a pleasure in any sense of ever wanting to write. Express yourself.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, we love we love it when people write for the first time in these series. I I often tell people who want to write a book, they're like, oh my goodness, I don't know that I can write a whole book. Well, um, sometimes it's a little daunting. And I know Sophia just completed a book, and we'll talk a little bit about that in just a second. And Joseph has written several books. So, but a lot of people who are getting started, um, writing a story for a compilation like this is kind of like tipping of, you know, just sticking your toe in the in the waters and seeing if you like writing and see if you can put something in a book where it's a collaborative effort and everybody's talking about the same thing, and you bring your voice, your unique, authentic voice to the table with whatever the story is that you write. And by that, I my hope is that that people will want to write more and share more stories, whether in this series or write their own book or add to another collaboration that we might be having. Um, but it it's writing is a skill that grows over time, and I think that this is just a really interesting way for people to, you know, get their feet wet, let's say, in writing. And that's exactly what you did. And you continue to write, and I I just love it. You've been part of the whole series, and thank you for doing that. Want to talk a little bit about what you wrote in the forward?

SPEAKER_04 7:42

Yeah, this one this is a Beatle Beatles analogy to this thing. And the analogy is that the last album that they did was Abbey Road. And it was back in March that my wife Sandy read it, and that would turn out to be the last one. Frank said, writing helps you get over that sorrow and it reestablishes courage. And that did.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:02

And the forward is uh trying to encapsulate the concept of what the people were writing about, and that's what I did. But it was very, very important to me personally because it allowed me to do a final writing about my wife and what the series had meant to me and to her.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Yes, yeah, and thank you for taking that role in the book because you add a lot to to what's in the pages of this book. And thank you. Thank

Sofya Stearns Story: 'The One and Only' book - Choice, Infertility, Adoption & Judgment

SPEAKER_02 9:33

you. Sophia. So I um I just alluded to the fact that you just recently wrote a book. Um, you want to talk a little bit about that? And and then we'll ask you about the little bit that that you wrote in um in this book and the introduction.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Sure. Um first of all, thank you so much for having me on the show. I was really looking, I was nervous, as Mark said, nervous. It's my first one with you for show. Um, so the book is called The One and Only. Um, by faith or by choice. It's about families who only have one child. And the book is divided by um on three different parts. One is called Lifestyle, um, IVF, which is infertility, and then adoption. Um, lifestyle could be a family decides to only have one child just because they want to show that child the world. They want to travel with this child and they don't want to break the bank, traveling to the, you know, helping, showing the world to the child. Um, in other few families, they said they just they tried. The first one was easy to conceive, the second it just never happened. And the, you know, the second part of the book, IVF, it's infertility. And one out of six families actually do have a struggle with infertility. And the third one is adoption, which is quite costly. And most of the families who I interviewed, so I interviewed 41 families. Um, and most of the families who did adopt, they tried for many, many years to have a child on their own, it just did not happen. The reason I wrote the book is no one really knew why only I had one child. Um, I had my child when I was 42. Um, it took me many years to conceive, and I went through a lot of miscarriages, I went through a lot of things my body just could not handle. I finally had my child, it was a blessing. I couldn't believe that I was finally pregnant and I was finally actually had my Isabella, and then out of nowhere, people would say, Well, you're um you're selfish that you only have one child. Um, your your child is always going to be lonely, and what happens if she passes away? You're going to be childless. Or what if your child needs a organ? You won't have a child who can help her with a donor. So it was a lot of negative comments I would be receiving. Instead of people, and to me, I always say that if you have nothing nice to say, you should just not even say it. Yeah, just keep it to yourself. And surprisingly enough, I was actually shocked by how many families I interviewed went through the same thing. Yeah. Um, there are families who are they adopted the child, and people would say, Well, the child has it doesn't even look like you. Well, it's really none of your business, is it? I have families I interviewed uh same-sex couples as well. And there's one, uh, two gentlemen, they adopted a baby, different color, and everyone was criticizing them. But no one ever said, What a wonderful thing that you did for this for this chief for this baby, taking him out of the foster care or whatever. So, people, you know, and I always say that it's and the the reason I wrote this book is because I I wanted to stop judgment. You know, don't ever judge the book by its cover, even though I say my book, the cover I have for my book is adorable. So, yes, please judge the book by its cover. The same for this one is I love the cover. However, you know, to be truth to be told, don't judge the book by its covers. You know, you have no idea what is really truly going on in that family's life, and it's really up to the family to decide basically to have one or or even sometimes zero. Um kids in those families who don't have kids, they people call them their selfish. And yeah, and that's yeah, it's not fair, really, but I think it's it's very unfortunate, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

So I wanted you to talk about that because

The Power of Friendship and Framily

SPEAKER_02 13:53

I want to ask you how does what you wrote in your book roll into what you wrote in the introduction in this book? And the title of it is The Power of Friendship and Framily. I love it. Framily.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

No, you know, I first of all, thank you for giving me this opportunity to even be part of the book and then actually to write the introduct introduction. Um, you know, friends is so it's so important to have friends. You know, sometimes we have relatives and uh they're just not your best friends, but then you meet someone and you instantly know that they're your best friends. I'm blessed that I like every single uh part of my family, so I'm blessed that way. But I'm also extremely blessed to have an extremely close connection with my best friends, you know, where I can actually open up to them and not being judged. I can tell them what's on my mind and not to be judged. Right. Um, I to me, friendship is where you are freely spoken and you can open your heart to those people and vice versa, right? And you're there to help each other. You know, I am blessed that my second husband, Jeff, who I that's who I have Isabella with, he's my best friend, that this is where I'm blessed, and this is the way I'm gonna just write, if I could read what I wrote that by Britannica definition, friendship is a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between two people. And one could say this definition sounds like a bit like a marriage, and for me it's exactly what it is. But outside of marriage, it means to have a close seated group of friends to be so close with that if you're in a pickle or you're in you're sad, or you're grieving, or you just had a bad day, you're you can text them, call them, or whatever, and they're gonna be there for you. Right. And you know perfectly well that you're gonna be there for them as well. So it goes both ways.

SPEAKER_05 16:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

I also think that, and I truly believe it, and I say this in my piece where I wrote that you know, everyone has different backgrounds. We all have different backgrounds, we all have different, we come from different religions, we have different uh parenting style, the way we were raised. However, if we could all agree on basically to to disagree, then we will never lose that friendship. Right, exactly. Unfortunately, there is so much going on now in the world is that I think everyone wants to be right, everyone wants to follow whatever they believe in, and this is where all the I think the problems come into. And I don't want to become obviously it's not political peace, but right I think that's but there are some people who go through this life with blinders on, and that's the only thing that they can look at.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

And I recently had somebody friend me. Uh, I recently tried to friend somebody on Facebook who was um um there was something that was just um interesting, you know, common common things. And this person came back and said, uh ask me if I was well, it was just very nasty what she said. And if that I said, I don't talk about politics online. Oh, you must be one of these white supremacist people, and that's how she came back with me. And you know what, you know what I did with that? Block those people. I have no room in my space for anyone to um um to uh make a judgment without even knowing who I am, right? And I think that that's where that's there's a lot of that going on in the world today. It doesn't matter what side of the aisle you're on. We talked on on uh Saturday on the event that we did for to raise money for the um voices against trafficking. It's not right or left, it's right or wrong, you know, and we have to be able to, we have to be able to really um know that you know, if you're doing the right thing for yourself and those around you, then you're gonna have to answer one day. You're gonna have to answer one day. And friendships for me, exactly like you, said Sophia, and exactly like I know Mark and what Joseph wrote as well, too. You know, having having that connection with somebody where the judgment isn't there, and that you can be who you are, who you were created to be, and talk about whatever, or agree to disagree, as you said, Sophia. So thank you for saying yes to writing the forward for this and for bringing this conversation here today,

Joseph Carrabis on Sacred Friendship & Giving Without Expectation

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Joseph. It's your turn.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

What would you like to know?

SPEAKER_02 18:50

I could sing too, by the way. Um what made you say yes when I asked you to write the the afterword of this of this uh book?

SPEAKER_03 19:01

Uh because I'm I'm greedy for any kind of exposure like most independent authors. And uh, you know, it's just no, I friendship to me, um I would define it as a sacred thing, and people who know me might have a challenge with that because I tend to be joking a lot. Um, you know, one of my favorite quotes about friendship is a true friend is someone who can sing your song back to you when you've forgotten the words.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

That is heart taking, really right there. And then the other the other side of that, he said laughing, is uh when you're in jail, a good friend will come bail you out, but your best friend will be sitting beside you going, damn, that was fun.

SPEAKER_05 20:08

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

So as I as I wrote in the book, in the um in the piece that I wrote, and also in the afterword, most people friend to friendships, but I've rarely met the individual who goes, How did I learn to be a friend? What is there about that person that makes me say, I will give of myself to you? Because that's what friendship is. Friendship, as Sophia was mentioning, that is a self-giving without the expectation of return. It's wonderful when we do get a return when the friendship is, but I know a lot of people that I've been friendly to, that I have helped in life, who yep, okay, thanks, Joseph. You know, good. I got what I wanted, bye-bye.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

And my my responsibility to myself is to continue to be their friend, yeah, to continue to honor them, to treat them as I would want to be treated by them. To example, through kindness, through graciousness, let them have an idea of what friendship could be, whether they take it or not. That's not my job. My job is to be as you were saying, and as Mark was saying, to be the best me I can be in a situation. Yes. Um the other thing about friendship, which uh was part of the.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Hold that thought for a second. Hold that thought for one second. Please. We need to go to break. I'm late going to break. I'm going to get bring you right back when we come back. We're going to continue this conversation about friendship with Joseph. We'll start off with Joseph and we'll we'll continue his thought pattern on that. We'll see you in just a minute. Don't go anywhere. Stay with us. And we're back. And we're going to go back to Joseph to have him finish his thoughts on friendship. I love what you said about it, doesn't matter what they took away from it, it matters how you are becoming the friend in the conversation before we went to break. So can you continue there, Joseph?

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Please. One of the other things about friendship tied into friendship is a giving without expectation of receiving. Is

How Friendships Change Over Time—and Choosing to Stay

SPEAKER_03 22:56

when you decide to be friends with someone part of that non-conscious decision is understanding that person's going to change over time. Such was life. Nobody laughed. Oh, come on. A chuckle, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

I can relax. I can relate. I can relate. I'm I'm I'm with you. I'm listening to you. I'm shaking my head. Yeah, that was me too. I gained weight.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

Thank you. So you're gonna you're gonna evolve the human dynamic is that we change. We change as Sophia was saying, because of what's happening in the world, what's happening in our neighborhoods, what's happening inside our bodies. And friendship is about accepting a person's changes, even when you don't like them. You know, I'm I'm going to accept what you're doing and what you're saying and what you've how you've been. I might not like it, but I will still be here for you. So that to me is where real friendship becomes a decision. You know, till you continue to get as the Bible says, there is a friend who is closer than a brother. You know, in uh Ecclesiastes. Not to be biblical, but that's just my background, folks.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Growth welcome to here, welcome to here for sure.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

That's it, I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

For the moment, anyway, right? For the moment. But I love what you said. You know, uh we change as we as we grow in friendship with one another. And we have we what I have to remember, and I had a circumstance happen some time ago with someone who's very close to me. And for whatever reason, that person went off about something that I have no idea what even they were why they were doing that. And it just like it shut me down for a minute. And then I I had to rethink like what was my re my reaction to the whole situation. Um, because I felt I felt attacked. But then of course, after after the steam blew off, you know, then we had um a conversation and uh revisited that conversation and and all is well, you know. So, and that's what people who are friends do. You know, my mom, God rest your soul, when when I was growing up, my the we had a door in the front of the house, we had a door on the side of the house. We didn't have a back door, we had a side door, came into the kitchen. It was a revolving door. People would come in throughout the day, friends, our friends as kids, her friends, um, coffee pot was always on. There was an enterman's cake in the house somewhere. And if there wasn't one, somebody brought one. And it was just a great place to, you know, to just sit at the kitchen table and have a conversation. And that's what friends do. That's what friends do. And um, she taught me how to be a friend. And at her funeral, the woman who was my godmother, she was there and they were friends from the time that she was in like the first grade. They went to elementary school together, all through high school together. They were bet, you know, they they they were best friends their entire life. And what I learned from them was the power of communication and the power that you love builds between people, and you don't necessarily have to be um together all the time, but you have you take you each are a part of something that I consider to be, and I think you said this word, Joseph, and I think Mark said it too, sacred. Friendship to me is sacred. So that's one of the reasons why this is one of the books. What do you think about that, Mark?

SPEAKER_04 26:53

Well, I think that friendship, as I said, is based upon shared experience. And the essay that it wrote in the book was a shared experience that I had with my very, very best friend. We've been friends for 50 years, we met in college, but the one experience that we had among many was just a wild thing of where we were taking an exam and we had an A study, and you could pick out two on the example right about that. So we had a little content. The way that we chose was like flipping two. I had always believed growing up as a take. The final two choices are better off just flipping a nickel and see how you read it. I mean you have to be there to understand that you know, hear your colleagues read and depend upon a 64D nickel. Now, what makes it fun is that this one gave me the opportunity to write about that, and this time I write about my best friend. I called him up the other day, and what happened is people want to get the book and I said I'm also getting a version of the book, and I'm gonna send in order. But in his, of course, what did I do? In the back of the book, I had gotten a 64D nickel that I put it in, and I think in case of emergency break.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. Yeah, you know, I mean, things like that that you take away from your experience, your shared experiences with people, that you can do something like that and bring yourself back to where that whole thing originated. And that's and that's really that's really fun to be able to look back and see where relationships uh blossomed uh into into friendships. You know, um I recently had my class reunion, I won't tell you how many years, but it's a lot from high school. And I I saw people that I hadn't seen from the since the day that we walked across the stage on graduation from high school. Um, and it just it just was amazing to me how um it seemed like no time had passed, even though we looked much different than we did on that day, but heart to heart, no time had passed. We came from a very small, very small um uh school. We were the first graduating class out of this school. So we were only like 103, 108 people, whatever it was. And it was like, it was like really like um being with people, being with family who we hadn't seen in a while. And everybody just loved the whole weekend. We spent a whole weekend together. It was great. And that's because during those years, during those early years, and some of us had been together since second grade, like my mother with her her um her friend, who was my godmother, um, they it just was like um like with like no time had passed. We picked up where we left off all those years ago. So friendship is a good thing when you can keep them going that long.

How Long Is Your Oldest Friendship?

SPEAKER_02 30:55

What do you think, Sophia? How old is your oldest, how how lengthy is your oldest friendship, your longest friendship?

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Well, I probably should say my twin sister, she's my oldest. Oh my goodness. Yeah, you that's right, you have a twin sister. Yes, her name is old, and I'll reveal it. I'm 50. Well, I'm 56, so yes, it's the look the longest friendship I ever had, and I love it. She's actually visiting um us right now from sunny Florida. That's where Mark is from. Yes, yes, and and we are we've always been best friends, and I've been blessed to have her um because she's always by my side, and I'm always by her side. I've never felt alone. And I actually was hoping I would have twins because it's so easy, you know. I knew that my kid would always have a best friend, but that didn't happen, you know. And um, and when we immigrated um in 1985, we did not speak words of English, we spoke French, but we were always glued together, so we were always together. So the teacher said, no, you actually should not, you should probably learn English since you are in the US. So this they separated us. It was awful. The first week was like leaving, it was just absolutely awful. Like I I've never been separated from my twin, you know. But then it's you know, we learned English and it was easy peasy. But yeah, I would remember it was horrible. But yeah, she is my longest friend. But I also have to say that, you know, I traveled a lot, I lived in a lot of cities, and I have a really good friend in Chicago now who lives in um, I'm just gonna say Texas. And then I have another friend, really close friend in Chicago, and then I have a few other friends from they're spread all over the place because I moved and so did so did they. But and we don't talk to each other probably for weeks and months and months and maybe years, but then when we do actually connect, it's like nothing ever happened. Like nothing ever, the the the past, the time hasn't passed, and we just will take off, and we just will start talking about like like we were there, like we had a conversation yesterday. Yesterday, right? Isn't that great? And it's effortless, and it's and that's the key for everything. It's effortless just to have someone by your side, right? You don't have to think twice about, you don't have to buffer anything, right? You don't have to stop and think, oh my god, is she going to get offended? And I love it. That's like the only best friendships they are, right? Exactly. Exactly. And the same thing, like your you said your mom always had like a revolving door. My mom always had that, you know, growing up in Russia. My grandmother, we did the same thing. We always had people over. We always had we didn't have homemade cakes because it was really hard to find anything in the stores. But there's always tea, right? And people great for communication. Yeah, it's awesome. It's it's the best, and those are the memories, right? Those are the best memories.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Yeah, they are the best memories. What about you, Joseph? What's your longest friendship? And do you still keep in touch with uh people from from years past?

SPEAKER_03 34:16

My longest friendship to date is uh what is it, dear, 47 years?

SPEAKER_05 34:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Well, she's right over there. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 34:26

Now that's here.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

That's all uh 47. We friends 40 years. Um some have passed because I'm I'm mature. I'm right. Um I'm old. Uh so we've we've lost some friends. We managed to make new friends. Um I find I find it far easier personally to make friends with creatures in the woods than I do with people because the nature of being a full-time author, you're very solitary. And in my case, people will be talking with me, you know, about something, and I'll go, what did you say again? And they'll say it again. And that's a beautiful phrase. Let me write that down. Hang on for a second, I'm gonna use that somewhere. Yeah, so it's it's kind of to be with me because I'll be watching people do things and I'll go, that could be a character in a book. So a lot of our friends are like, You're not gonna write me, but I'm gonna be a good person. Am I please, Joseph? Please make me a good person. Too late, too late, you know. But um the joy of uh making friends with woodland creatures is uh, and and I have had these kinds of friendships. What you is what you get. You treat them with respect, they treat you with respect. Exactly.

unknown 36:03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

Sorry to say that human friends, it's rare to have that mutual respect element where uh I'll give you an example. One of my longest friends, uh, he's very, very long, he's about a mile and a half, he's a rather strange man. Anyway, one of my longest friendships was with a gentleman who I don't know why just started having an affair, and uh he got upset with me because I would not deal with him having the affair. I said, Look, I I accept you, I understand you have a need of some kind, but I don't want to take part in your being with that person. If you want to finish everything with your wife, that's fine. Because I was being respectful of my relationship to his wife and to him. I was not hostile or negative to this person he was with, but I made it clear I don't know how to interact, I don't know what's expected of me in this relationship. Uh, unfortunately, that that caused too much friction. And well, these are things that happen. Um Susan and I have been together a good long time. Uh, we lived in in sin. Back then it was called living in sin for six years before we got married. Shame on you for her family. I know it was the best shame.

SPEAKER_05 37:42

I've read the right head sin there.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

There you go. Uh, but I wrote our wedding vows, and people knowing that I wrote them expected them to be a little humorous or funny. But when we read them, they they essentially said, I don't promise you health, wealth, peace, joy, peace. What I promise you is I will change. Be with me through my changes, be there for me when I change, and I will be there for you when you change. And I can't tell you the number of people who have asked us for cause of those wedding vows to use because it's an acknowledgement of we're going to be friends. You know, we've gone through a lot of pain with each other. There's been a lot of change in our lives. Quite honestly, I never want to marry the person I was 40 years ago. Wow. I was a real bastard. Oh my. Still kind of not, I need to run. I'll be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

Okay. Just for a minute because we're gonna we have to go to another break. So I'm gonna just say we'll come, we'll come back. We're gonna talk more about a daily gift of friendship, we're gonna talk about the series and whatever else comes up during the conversation. We'll be right back. And we'll be back. I can't believe how fast this time goes. Um, it just flies by.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

Time flies when you're having fun, right?

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Exactly. Exactly. That's the truth, isn't it? So

Grateful Hearts Community on Facebook - Gratitude A–Z game

SPEAKER_02 39:19

I want to just talk about the Grateful Hearts community for a second. On Facebook, we have a group called the Grateful Hearts Community, and I was having a conversation with some people yesterday, and I used to do this thing, um uh Gratitude A to Z, where you took every day you found three things with the letter of the day that you're grateful for. Because I tend I believe that a lot of people get in a rut when it comes to finding things that they're grateful for. And this opens your eyes to all the things that are around you. You know, um, Daily Gift of Gratitude was the first book that we did with the Daily Gift Book series, and that this series is an assignment, it's a divine assignment for me. I've got a tap on the shoulder, and gratitude was the first. So all of these things flow from a grateful heart. And I think that um I invite everybody, by the way, to go to the Grateful Hearts community. Um, it's a group on Facebook where you can uh participate in this and write things that you're grateful for. We add stuff on a regular basis, but we haven't played the game in a while. So I'm bringing it back. Yesterday was A. Before the day is out, I'll put what's there for the letter B, but and we'll keep going on. But gratitude be things like hope. It brings hope to your world, it will make you a kinder person, which is daily gift of kindness. Put them all together and you have a much more peaceful life, right? Daily gift of peace, so that you can have successful friendships, right? I there's a there is a and there's an order to it, there's a method to my madness, and it's all coming from a higher source. So um, I just really am grateful to be able to be part of this in the Thanksgiving season. I can't believe Thanksgiving is two days away in 2025. Oh, please, where did the year go? Anybody does anybody know? Can anybody please tell me where the year runs?

SPEAKER_01 41:13

I feel like it's the quickest year hour, I think. The days are flying by, it's insane. It's yeah. Joseph, where are you pointing?

SPEAKER_02 41:23

It's where is it?

SPEAKER_03 41:25

You that's where the year went.

SPEAKER_02 41:28

It flew by. It flew by, it did. It did.

SPEAKER_04 41:36

There you go. So Teresa, I'll give you I'll give you a T for today.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

I had brought this out. You know, I usually don't bring out the hardware, but T is for 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:48

That was when I won at that time my fifth award for infomercials. And I brought that one out because to me, friendship, shared experience. People ask me, how was I able to be married to my wife for 50 years? More importantly, how was she able to marry me? But the answer to that question is really simple. We were best friends.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 42:13

And the reason I brought out the award is we would talk to literally thousands of people at a time. I have no fear whatsoever of public speaking. I love speaking to a crowd and everything else. But I'm watching TV and I watched this beautiful lady come out. Her husband had just been assassinated, and she's now going to speak to five, 10,000 people in a football arena plus millions of people across the television. And I gotta tell you, as skilled as I am, and all of the awards that I've ever won, I could never have done what it is that she did to deliver that so well and so heartfelt. But you know what the key words were? And she went right to it in the beginning. Charlie and I were best friends, best friends, exactly. That's what friendship is really about. Friendship in a marriage, friendship in businesses, friendship and collaboration that you're doing. It's one of the most important things in life. And my best advice for it is don't try to find a friend or make a friend or anything else. Go out and have shared experiences.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

Go to dinner, find something to do. That's what friendship develops from.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Exactly. And don't be afraid to make new friends. You know, at Girl Scouts, make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold. It just I remember that from when I was a little kid in Girl Scouts. And that's um, you know, make new friends, keep the old ones. But that's what you're absolutely right, Mark. I'm in agreement fully with you that you can say that the your spouse is your best friend. And I you and Sandy, and now I see Joseph and and um Um Joseph, I'm sorry, what's your wife's name again? Susan.

SPEAKER_03 44:05

Honey Blossom.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

I think you're I think you write too many characters in books. Talk about your books for a minute.

Joseph Carrabis 'The Augmented Man' - PTSD Breakthroughs

SPEAKER_02 44:15

Let's have a little bit of of what Joseph writes about.

SPEAKER_03 44:21

Ah, okay. Well, um I write autobiography and it gets published as magic realism and fantasy, fiction, and sometimes horror. And my sister wants to know if we grew up in the same house. Um my editor, my longtime editor, uh and now publisher, she when she goes on speaking tours and uh you know book gigs, she says to people the two things you'll always find in Joseph's books are a deep understanding of human psychology and love. And I have to agree. Um most of my books are about people going through sometimes tremendous catastrophic change, learning self-love so they can help others in the situation. Um, you know, The Augmented Man, which is uh science fiction book, it's really about my work with the PTSD community. Oh nice. And uh long ago in the 1990s, I made a connection that no one else was making, which led to some breakthroughs, um which are now being used worldwide, for which I'm incredibly grateful.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

So, you know, and and one of my other books deals with, as uh you mentioned in the introduction to me, it deals with uh a lot of my work in uh quantum mechanics and cybernetics. So I'm a boring guy. Did I say that before?

SPEAKER_02 46:04

Well, I I don't know that I would ask I don't know that I would put boring in in your bio. I really don't know that you I would put boring in your bio. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:15

Yeah, my books are very good, but I, you know, I'm yeah, okay. Let's talk about Sophia's book.

SPEAKER_02 46:24

Yeah, let's talk about actually what I want to talk about with Sophia. We talked a little bit about her book earlier, and it ties right into what she's about to share with you now because you just

Cooking Around the World With Chef Sofya Show for Kids

SPEAKER_02 46:35

you just uh did your very first episode of your cooking show for yes for kids.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

For kids. Yes, it's uh it's called Cooking Around the World uh with Chef Sophia. So each episode I'm taking children to a different country. I spin a globe first, and I put a finger there, and this is where we will be traveling. Uh, we make a dish from scratch. The first one was a calzone, and we traveled to Italy, to Italia. So I taught them some Italian, and we traveled, I showed them pictures of different landmarks. Um, and then it was just super fun. And uh sneak so I have another one coming out tomorrow at 9 a.m. And that's going to be in honor of Thanksgiving. So the reason I decided to do the show is because my when I do those cooking classes, different after-school programs or different schools, or I have monthly or weekly classes, they're usually sold out just because they're educational. You know, in the way I look at it, everyone can download a recipe of calzone or pizza. Kids obsessed, kids are obsessed with pizza or pasta. But do they but do they really know where pizza comes from or pasta, right? So I think you know they should know it's an Italian dish and they should know, have some knowledge of the colors of the flag, and they should have some knowledge of a few words in Italian. Nothing bad, all good. No curses, no cursor. Um, and I think it's very educational, right? And they should know there is uh they should know some landmarks, right? Everyone knows Lean, Tower of Pisa, right? That's good, but then there's so many other buildings they're not aware of. And the same thing, you know, it's if even if we're talking about US, USA, the they should know, you know, some kids don't even know where White House is or what it's called, or you know, where the president lives and what's the capital. And I I think knowledge, and I always say knowledge is power, right? I start my classes at the age of three because they are when you're so little, you're like a sponge. It doesn't really matter how many languages I'll be introducing you if you're a tiny Lumanchan, you'll just like be a sponge and you're going to grab as much information as possible.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

And it's important.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

Yeah. Now, where does it air? You have uh you said there's one tomorrow. Or you do you film them, do you do them live?

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Um no. So it's going to it's actually I have a channel, it's on YouTube.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

It's called uh Shaf Sophia.

SPEAKER_02 49:19

Okay. Well we'll put that, we'll put that in the um in the uh um comments at the bottom of the YouTube when this goes live. We'll put that on there. And we also, Joseph, if you want to send me some of the titles of your books, we can uh we can put them in there as well. Mark, do you have anything you would like us to put and to refer to you on the um besides your besides your arm's length worth of books on the daily gift book series?

SPEAKER_04 49:48

Well, I'll just uh sum up by just saying if you're even thinking about writing, I think it would be one of the best experiences you've ever had. You know, I I wrote 30 in commercials, so I do have some professional writing experience. So when I went to do these ones, that didn't come into play at all. I was starting almost as a novelist having gone through it and I'll continue to write in other ones, and I hope people once they get started continue to do that on other topics. Because and I read what the other people write in the book. They there's so much great stuff that they have to say on it.

SPEAKER_05 50:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:27

So I encourage everybody to get that pen out, start writing, let it happen, get these books, read them, you'll enjoy them. Yeah, and then continue on with that. It's been a privilege to do it, Teresa, and I thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 50:40

Oh, you're so welcome. You're so very welcome. And there are many more to come. So

The Vision for the Daily Gift Book Series

SPEAKER_02 50:45

um, Daily Gift of Friendship, all of these books right now. Every time I release a new book, I'm I'm put it at $10. And it's currently now at $10. We are in the bestseller category right now, new release bestsellers. Don't know what the number is at the moment. Last time I checked, we were around um high 20s. And the first the 100 books, it's a hundred books that qualifies you for bestseller, but 100 spots. But of course, I would love to see us be number one bestseller. And all of you can call yourselves a number the number one bestselling author, contributing author to this series. So the um the next one that's coming is going to be a daily gift of inspiration. And I'd like to launch that one in March, end of March, early spring, end of March, beginning of April, um to um to have out there for the for you know the spring holiday. And then um coming after that is going to be for next year at this time will be a daily gift of happiness and joy. And we've got courage on the list. We've got a so we've got a book that we're gonna put out for uh a daily gift for a peaceful journey, daily gift for a peaceful journey through cancer. So many people have cancer today, and um, a lot of people have uh gotten through it. Um, and this this book is meant to be uplifting to share stories from caregivers, family members, and whatnot. So that all this information is going to be available um as we put it together um on the daily giftbookseries.com so that you can go there and look and see what um what we were up to and possibly become part of the series, just like these three beautiful people did. And um, I'm grateful for each and every one of you. Thanksgiving is two days away. Tell me real quick, in one word, what are you thankful for? Sophia, I'm gonna start with you.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

Family and friends.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Awesome, Joseph. What are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_03 52:56

A nice guy.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

Beautiful. Mark, what are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_04 53:02

50 years of fabulous memories and 50 more years to go with memories of my kids.

SPEAKER_02 53:09

Awesome, awesome. And I'm grateful for each and every one of you who tunes in for this show. I hope that this conversation has taken, given you something to take away from here to be able to build long, long, long term friendships in your world. Until next time, remember every conversation that you have makes a difference. Make sure that the one that you're having with yourself does as well. And we'll see you the next time. Have a great day.