Conversations That Make a Difference with Teresa Velardi

Healing Happens Together: The Power of Sharing Your Story

Teresa Velardi

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What if the story you’ve been afraid to share… is the very thing someone else needs to heal? In this powerful episode of Conversations That Make a Difference, Teresa Velardi sits down with Rev. Emilio Roman and Daniela Roman to explore the truth that healing doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens together. Through deeply honest storytelling, they reveal how silence keeps us stuck and how speaking up can set us free. From surviving trauma to finding faith, forgiveness, and purpose, this conversation is a reminder that your story is not just powerful… it’s necessary.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • Why healing in silence keeps you stuck
  • How sharing your story creates a breakthrough for others
  • The role of forgiveness in emotional freedom
  • Why “we are only as sick as our secrets”
  • How gratitude and faith rewire your healing journey
  • Practical ways to release trauma and reclaim your life

Daniela courageously shares her journey of surviving trauma and becoming a voice for others through her bestselling book series Behind Closed Doors. Emilio opens up about his own past and how forgiveness became the key to freedom. Together, they show us that your pain can become someone else’s pathway to healing.

If this message resonates, please don’t keep it to yourself; share this video with someone who needs it. Remember: Your story matters. Your voice matters. And someone out there is waiting for your courage.

Connect with Emilio Roman:
Facebook: Emilio Roman
Instagram: @coauthornetworkllc
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/revemilioroman
Born To Risk book: https://borntorisk.com/

Connect with Daniela Roman:
Facebook:
Daniela's Delicious Delights
  / championofwomen 
Instagram: danielaromanchampionofwomen
Daniela's Delicious Delights https://www.danielasdeliciousdelights...
Behind Closed Doors book: https://www.amazon.com/Behind-Closed-...

Stay in Touch with Teresa Velardi:
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New episodes every Tuesday

AEP = Authentic Endeavors Publishing
www.authenticendeavorspublishing.com
Our mission is to communicate with purpose, create with authenticity, and gather a global community rooted in gratitude. We strive to inspire leadership and offer heartfelt encouragement through meaningful writing, empowering every voice to shine and every story to make a lasting impact.

The Daily Gift Book Series - Each book is a compilation of real stories from real people, designed to uplift, encourage, and remind you that you’re never alone on the journey.
Visit: www.dailygiftbookseries.com or look up Teresa Velardi on Amazon

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Conversations That Make A Difference with Teresa Velardi

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Conversations That Make a Difference. With your host, Teresa Vellardi. We believe that authentic, meaningful, and diverse conversations are the glue that binds us together. Our discussions remind us we have the power to uplift, challenge, stretch, and invite dynamic growth. Are you like it? Feeling like your mind of the state of it to life. Join us for conversations filled with gratitude, values, abundance, authenticity, and faith. Here's the host of our show, Teresa Villar.

SPEAKER_03

Hey everyone, and welcome to Conversations That Make a Difference. I'm so excited to have my guests, Emilio and Daniela Roman, with me today. But as you know, we start with a prayer. Every time we get together, we say a prayer, we use the serenity prayer. So God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And it is by God's grace that we are fabulous, blessed, and highly favored, living in our greatness, using our gifts and talents, making a difference in the lives of others with passion and purpose. And all of God's great universe is conspiring in our favor. And together we say amen. Amen. Emilio, unmute yourself over there.

Daniela & Rev Emilio Roman

SPEAKER_03

So we are um we are talking to Daniela and Reverend Amelia Roman. And let me just tell you a little bit about this powerhouse couple. Um, they embody their lives embody resilience, faith, and a passion for empowering others. Daniela is an international best-selling author and speaker, celebrated for her empowering message and culinary expertise. I've heard a lot about that culinary expertise. Yes, I have. Her acclaimed series, Behind Closed Doors, I survived domestic violence and you can too reach number one on Amazon. And so this is her book, just so that you can see it, if you want to get a copy. And there are 12 stories in here for you to read about other people who have gone through the same thing. And so we support one another. When you get through something, you find it to the other side, you tell your story so you can give somebody else a hand up. That's my that's my philosophy, and I know that it is yours too. So, um, so she's also honoring her heritage through Daniela's Delicious Delights, LLC, where she shares her love for food and her kitchen confidence course. Daniela's heart shines brightest as a mother and grandmother, cherishing her grandsons, Tomas and Sebastian, and Reverend Emilio Roman, USMC, known as the Master Networker, is a medically retired U.S. Marine, best-selling author, dynamic speaker, and publisher. Thank you for your service, Emilio. First things first. You are a Guinness World record holder and former international bodybuilder. Emilio has inspired audiences worldwide by helping countless individuals craft and share their stories. His series, Born to Risk, is one of the books that made him on the list of Guinness Book of World Records. So, and I'm excited. We're going to talk a little bit more about this later on. But you help individuals uh craft and share their stories. Above all, his titles, he treasures being a servant leader, a devoted husband, a proud abuelo, grandfather, um, and together Daniela and Emilio share a powerful story of overcoming adversity and building a legacy and lifting others to step boldly into their purpose. So I am so grateful to have the two of you with me today. Um, I am looking forward to our conversation because I think that um you're gonna speak to a lot of people today. I think that your story speaks to a lot of people. Let me just give you a little bit of a description, what we discussed, we were going to talk about today. Emilio and Daniela are passionate about inspiring and motivating others through real, honest storytelling. And this is why we get so get along so well because our philosophy is exactly the same. Um,

How Silence Keeps You Stuck in Pain

SPEAKER_03

they believe that sharing your story isn't just powerful, it's necessary. When people stay silent, listen to these words. When people stay silent, they may unknowingly withhold the very message that someone else needs to hear to heal, grow, or move forward. They both have walked through challenges, and by opening up about their journeys, they aim to give others permission and courage to do the same. I love you guys. Thanks for coming on conversations that make a difference. It's so good to see you. So, first of all, tell me, how did the two of you meet?

SPEAKER_04

She tells it better. And before we go on, thank you, Teresa. I need your viewers to understand how you and I met. I think before we go into that, I would love because we fell in love. Uh, I fell in love with you and your son and and the relationship. You don't mind sharing that? I I love it. Go ahead. You go ahead, you share how we met.

SPEAKER_03

Go ahead. I love when you tell it. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, listen, we were at an event, um, and I was there to do the invocation. And then um, I I was nominated to be one of the folks there uh with our our beloved soul uh for it and give me the title because I don't want to chop it up.

SPEAKER_03

The title program voicing against voices against trafficking, and it's Andy Berger, who is a frequent guest on this show.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, right, and so Andy Berger uh and I met, and and it was just awesome to be around that topic because I didn't know much about it, uh, but to be there to do the invocation, and then we got to meet. I mean, we got connected and it was just instant. Uh, it was like we've known each other for years, yes. Uh and yeah, so it was a blessing. So I just wanted to share that with your audience, and we've stayed connected after the event. Yes, uh, we've supported Andy Burger, and that's how you and I and the backdrop uh the DJ Dizzy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean it's just great. I just have to say that, and now Daniela, she tells it better on how we met.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so Daniela, how did you meet this man in high school?

SPEAKER_01

In high school, really, yeah. We went to high school together, and um, we didn't date or anything like that. Uh, but I had a crush on them all through high school, but he didn't know that. So fast forward, you know, we graduated. I mean, we were in English class together and you know, lunch, whatever, but never really like real conversation or anything, you know, just kind of in passing. So, fast forward 28 years. Um, I was actually going through a separation, a divorce, and we connected where else on Facebook, you know, I right it I saw him comment on Facebook, right? I saw him comment on a mutual friend of ours that we went to school with, and I'm like, wow, I have not seen that name in years. So he was doing fitness classes at a local park, and you know, we lived close by, and I was gonna go, but then I never did. But then one night he just like messaged me on Messenger, and it was like 1 30 in the morning, and I would have never answered. If it was anyone else, I would have never responded. But I'm like, and he's like, Why aren't you sleeping? You know how you see a little dot, you used to see a little dot you could tell somebody's on Facebook. So I'm like, Why aren't you sleeping? Like, why are you messaging me? You know, so we talked from that time 1 30 in the morning to like 6 a.m. Wow, texting, just texting, and you know, just share just what we've been doing, and you know, all that. Two days later, we met up at our local park that we both really liked, and I just say the rest is history because that was it.

SPEAKER_03

And then it happened. Yeah, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it was awesome, Teresa, because we connected, and what she neglected to say is I didn't know she had a crush on me. So, my first words when she says, You know, I had a crush on you throughout high school. I'm like, Why didn't you tell me? We could have had 10 grandbabies by now.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

Wow, guy, right? So that was uh yeah, that was the conversation, and then uh it's just been amazing because she got to open up a part of her

The Truth About Healing: Why You Can’t Do It Alone

SPEAKER_04

uh world, Teresa, which is the point of why we're here, right? Uh, we talk about shared pain is less pain, and that's a philosophy that we both subscribe to. So I don't want to get ahead of myself, but that's how it tied in that conversation. We recognize that we had so much more in common than just that we went to school together, that we, you know, we've we've had our family. Um, we it it was incredible. We both had pain that we never really shared publicly, and that really united us.

SPEAKER_03

And so you say healing, uh healing happens together. You need other people who are going through healing in order to be able to do your own healing. I think I think that that is um that's so true because you know, left to our own devices, and correct me if I'm wrong, left to our own devices. We can go places in our head that we might not go if we have somebody else to share our stories with, you know, and what we've been through and how we got through it and so forth. Would you agree?

“We Are Only as Sick as Our Secrets” Explained

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that's the we we not only do we agree, we we've lived it out where we understand that we're only as sick as our secrets, right? Yeah, and so it's been said in the rooms of of the recovery, whether it's a na anything that ends with an A, they all say the same thing, yeah, right? That you know, we can't heal in secret, and a lot of us do, to include me. And so when Danielle and I talked and we opened up, right? Because it wasn't our first rodeo with marriage, we already had kids, we were the second part of our lives, and we're just like, hey, this is where we're at, we're not tolerating this and that anymore. She shared something with me, and I think that this was segue beautifully into uh what brought us closer and what helped her to heal.

SPEAKER_03

So go ahead, you want to talk about it, Daniela?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, uh, we were having a conversation one day, and he shared his um childhood traumas that he had gone through. Um, and he can, you know, share a little bit of that. But that just triggers something in me that um I had at 19 years old, I was sexually assaulted in my sleep, but I had not shared that with anyone for 30 years. Wow, just never told anyone. And and like he says, you know, we we think we're healing in secret, right? We can't heal in secret, but just by moving on with your life, you know, I was working, raising my son, uh, you know, had a business, all this stuff. You keep so busy, right? You just you figure you've dealt with that, you know. But all these things manifested. I had like depression, anxiety, eating disorder, all these kind of things, and didn't know why. Yeah. And you know, from him bringing that up, I shared that, and it was like such a relief, like just to say it, right? Don't know where that person is now, don't know what happened, doesn't matter. It was just a point of saying it, right? And getting

Why Forgiveness Is the Key to Freedom

SPEAKER_01

it out finally. And the main thing he said to me was, you know, forgiveness is key, right? And forgiveness is, as you know, not for the other person, it's for us. So I always thought, like, you know, if if you can't forgive unless somebody apologizes or you know, you kind of have some kind of closure, and and I had none of that, but I didn't need that. You know, he helped me see, like, I didn't need that, just forgive and let it go.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly. And you're absolutely right, forgiveness is for you because when you don't, when you don't, this is my opinion, when we don't go that route and forgive other people for what they've done to us, we say stuck in the muck and the mire of what happened or what didn't work or um who did what, the conversation of um, I'm gonna call it the dirty conversation because it's it's like it's like staying stuck in the mud, wouldn't you agree? Yeah, and until you actually until you actually get to that place where you can completely forgive that person, um, regardless of what the um the damage was, what the the the event was that caused you to be um on the road to separation, divorce, whatever, or or as you said, um assaulted. Um once you once you get to that place of forgiveness, it opens up a whole new world. How did that do that for each of you?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so you know, first and foremost, you know, I'm so proud of Daniela. Uh again, because that healing, right, that she experienced, she didn't just stop there, right? She went ahead and that book, if you don't mind, Teresa, that book that you have there behind closed doors, she actually shared that. I it was just an idea, thank you. It was an idea that she had, and and I said, Listen, you've come out on this on the other side now, you're talking about it. I said, You can really help more people, and because of her giving heart, she came up with this. And I would like for her to share this story because we write stories, and a

The Power of Writing Your Story to Heal

SPEAKER_04

lot of us we put books out, we do posts, and we don't know where it lands, right? We never know, we can never calculate where it lands. And she had one story that she recognized wow, like you know, I opened up, I put everything out there. Like, what how am I gonna be judged? And there's two sides to this conversation one, what her mom said to her, because she never told her mom, her mom read it for the first time in the book, yeah. And then the receiving end of what uh the other lady. So if you don't mind sharing that, because that ties into the healing process, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, and coming from an Italian family, right? I think you know this, right? Like what happens, you know, at home stays at you know, stays at home, but even though it didn't happen at home, but you get it. So you don't share stuff like that, right? So I my first thing when he said, you know, you need to share your story. We um my first thought was like, what is my family gonna think? You know, like I can't put that out there and it's embarrassing. There was a lot of lot of layers to you know the relationships, a lot of things happening that my parents had no idea. So, you know, I made the decision. I just, you know, he's like, This is not, you know, about your family. This is you're sharing your story in order to help other women, you know, and as at the same time, help your healing. So I did a uh co-authorship out of Canada. And when I got it, you know, the copies, I signed one to my mom, and I was, I was like, my heart was racing. I'm like, oh my gosh, she's gonna read this and she's gonna flip. Because, you know, my mom, you know, of course, she she loves her kids, where but it's just certain things, you know, it's just that my mom's a type like I thought that would be like, How could you put that out there? And oh my god, you you know, this is all going in my head. And she goes, Oh, thank you. She's like, I'm gonna read this, I'm gonna sit on my balcony tomorrow morning and read it. Well, that didn't happen. Like, she read it that night, and she sent me a message, right? I don't even know, she didn't call, she sent me a message, and I'm like, Oh god, I was afraid to read it. She's like, I read your chapter. She's like, Why didn't you why didn't you tell us we would have helped you? Yeah, like that was it, you know. So we create all this like stuff in our head, you know, and like that was it, that was her only reaction, you know. And I can imagine, because I was like, you know, and then of course I was like, you know, I'm fine, you know, that was like 30 years prior, you know. I'm like, I'm way past that. But I had to understand she's hearing it for the first time, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Right, exactly. And no, I I think you know, part of correct me if I'm wrong, because this is I I've gone through things like what you've gone through and the domestic violence. Um,

Overcoming Fear of Judgment and “What If” Thinking

SPEAKER_03

uh, everybody, the general consensus between people who have been through stuff like that is shh, don't tell anybody, don't tell anybody. But it's in the silence, as you say, we are sick as our secrets, and it's in the silence where we suffer. And for a lot of years, people who knew my story said, You should write your story, you should write your story. And I got stuck in the what if conversation. What if they find out? What if this one finds out? What if he finds out? What if whatever? So the what ifs are a trap, they are a trap to keep you stuck. And besides, people who have perpetuated these things on other people, regardless of what the damage was is that was done or the whether crime was, if you will, whatever the whatever was done, those kind of people usually don't read books anyway. So you have nothing to worry about.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you don't have to worry about it.

SPEAKER_03

So and you know, you can always change the name to protect the innocent and the guilty. So, you know, that's that's the thing. And I think what you did was very courageous. And I've since shared my story many times, and I want to thank you for putting it together with other women who have gone through similar or or even different circumstances, but suffered the same harm to themselves emotionally, physically, spiritually, because we stay stuck in in the trauma instead of moving through

Healing Through Gratitude, Faith, and Daily Practice

SPEAKER_03

it. How what are some of the ways? And Amelia, you can answer this too. What are some of the ways that you got through? Um, I I know writing is one of them, and I that was my salvation. I was able to go to write every day, like I started writing, especially like in the 12-step rooms, they tell you find something to be grateful for. Talk about that. Speak about that, Emilio, because yeah, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no, no, thank you again for the question. And and the healing process is looks a little different for everyone, right? Depending on how much I believe we're willing to be honest with ourselves, because you know, life is one or lost in the mind first, and a lot of us can really get caught up in the what ifs, right? What if, what if. Um, but when you come to a point where maybe you have arrived and I arrived where it's called the rock bottom, right? You're not going anywhere, right? You know, you're just kind of looking up your and it's like God, you know, you start questioning God, you know, that did God create man or did man create God? Like you start getting into these philosophical stuff, and then I start looking at my blessings. And where I'm going with this is I got into a habit of gratitude. I still do it to this day, Teresa. Five things that I'm most grateful for. And I attempt to keep it what's called the three piece. I keep it in the present, I keep it positive, and I keep it personal, right? Like tomorrow morning, I can tell you right now, you're gonna be my gratitude list, right? I'm grateful for Teresa, and we had Danielle and I on her show, right? And it's still present, it's still positive. So that has done something because when you've gone through trauma, right? Your mind, your muscles, the tissues are locked in on this low vibration. So you've got to check in with yourself, and that's what I do daily. I do that, and whenever I've skipped that, I can tell that my day's different, the ebbs and flow. And so lastly, beautiful thing that you did the serenity prayer. That is my go-to. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Understand, that's not just outside. I've said that when my wife and I are going through something, she's asking me to do something. I thought I did it, and I want her to do something, and that, and I'm like, and we can lock in on that, and like you know, so I'm like, I'm walking away, mumbling. Well, she goes, What'd you say? I'm like, so that's serenity prayer.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's my anchor. Yeah, and well, you know what? I'm so glad you said that because the serenity prayer is not just a prayer, it's a roadmap, it's a roadmap to healing. God, grant me the serenity, except the things that cannot change. We cannot change the past, we cannot change what happens, we cannot do anything differently today to make anything that happened yesterday any different than it was. So that's the first part. Give me the serenity, accept the things that cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. Raise your hand and say, I went through this too. Or I am a, I'm gonna speak it out loud now because it's driving me crazy in my brain, and I've got to get it out of my system. Writing, by the way, there is a there is something that happens between the head and the heart when you write with your hand, not the computer, with your when you write it out. You physically release it onto the page, and that's what saved me. That's what helped me to get through the trauma of everything that had happened to me. And um, Daniela, obviously, you wrote your story. You went through the same thing, right? You went the same thing that I did. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know. The difference. It's in finding that space where you can create, whether it's writing, whether it's whatever it is, speaking, whatever it is that you do to help yourself and help other people. The courage to make the courage to change and the wisdom to know the difference. Again, you don't have to tell the gory details. You can just know that they that whatever they were, they can't, you can put a lock on that door and shut it. And you don't have to open it again. But the forgiveness piece is the other part that goes in there. What was it like? Excuse me, you don't have to tell anybody anything when you're forgiving them for something. But if you have, and I don't know whether you or not you did, but if either one of you has had to um uh tell someone that you forgive them, what was their response to you?

The Relief from Forgiveness

SPEAKER_03

And it doesn't have to be in any one of these species these circumstances, but if somebody wronged you in any way, what was the response when some you forgive somebody?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, I I can only speak for so it's a great question, by the way. Uh for me, and Danielle shared her part, but you didn't hear uh what I had, um, what I went through, and I was I was molested as a young man by family members, not once, but uh several times. And the one person uh that did this, they went on to get involved in the church, right? And so they went and they changed their life, but I was dealing with this trauma, this unresolved issues, and I drank myself. I really thought it was a nightmare, like I didn't think it was real, so I had compartmentalized it in my brain until I started to realize and having conversations with people, and someone was saying, you know, so-and-so molested this person, the so-and-so molested that person, and then hearing those things, uh man, I started to my thoughts. I I can tell you, I mean, if I if you can get incarcerated for someone's thoughts, I mean, the things that I was going through, I was, I mean, I was plotting and scheming, and I was like, Oh my lord. So serenity prayer again, right? So, what I did was, and this is way before we met, we met, and I was dealing with this. I wrote a letter. I actually wrote a letter because I I knew where this individual lives, and we would occasionally run into each other at at events, with you know, and I realized at that point in my maturity that it was a real, like it wasn't a thing anymore. It wasn't that I've made it up. So, fast forward, I dropped the letter off, and I really wanted to hand it to him in particular. But the thing is, I never found out if he received it or not. I gave it to a neighbor and I said, Listen, I need this is very important, and I know that you know him. So I just wrote everything down. That was cathartic, just writing it down, being honest, and saying, I forgive you. I said, This is not resentment, and I said, I forgive you for what you did. Um, and I just poured myself out and I said, I and I understand you did this to other people now. I said, I know that we know this now. I said, I'm grateful that you found you're finding peace with God. Um, because this would not be this conversation. I didn't threaten him in the letter, but I was very clear that uh I'm glad he's doing and he's on this path. So that was uh Teresa, the extent of it because I never seen him since. Um, and I believe he's still around, but I just I'm glad I I let that go.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, and that's the part that's letting go. What about you, Daniela?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, um, well, again, we we did you we were connected when you did that because you had me write a letter, yeah. You uh dropped it off at this person. Yeah, I okay, I corrected. Okay, yeah, it was at the very beginning.

SPEAKER_04

At the very beginning, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, and he had me write a letter. He's like, just write it out. I know the person's name, you know. So I wrote it as if and like I said, I don't know if this person is dead or alive, but just to do it and get it out on paper is like such a relief, you know, it was a big release for me. So I wrote how I felt, you know, and that, you know, ending, I forgive you. Hope you made changes in your life, don't know, you know, and just signed it, but again, didn't give it to him. But just me doing that was releasing me from all of that because you know, here's the thing these people have gone on with their lives, yes, probably don't we don't know for sure, but probably it does not affect them the way it affected us. We let it control our whole life and end up in addiction or you know, depression, exactly, all these things, and we're punishing ourselves when they're just moving about their life, you know. So people, you know, like us that have done that, you know, now I see them like wow, wasted a lot of years of pain and suffering, you know, uh to myself, yeah, you know, when I could have just been free of this a long time ago, but you don't know what you don't know, you know, until finally I did. Yeah, so it was a huge release. I never had to say it to these, you know, this, and the uh people in my abusive relationships never, you know, physically said, I forgive you, but for me, I did.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, Teresa to Danielle's point. You notice when we're talking about something painful, my mind, like I had assumed that I did not like we didn't know each other, she had to bring me back because it was so difficult to get to that point to that letter.

SPEAKER_02

I remember reading the letter.

SPEAKER_04

She remembered reading it, and now like she just brought me back. I was like, Wow, that's right, you were. It was our first couple of months together.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and there are some people who don't um

Fire Power to Release

SPEAKER_03

who will say, Well, what is that gonna do? It's just a letter. So here's what I learned. There were there's a little trick that I learned from someone that you know, you gave it to someone, Emilio. Yeah, you wrote it out and you you kept it to yourself, but you wrote it out, and that's a cleansing in itself, right? For me, I was like, uh, I would go read it again. And I'm like, well, I really don't know if I forgive them and how am I gonna release this and blah, blah, blah. And then somebody told me something about burning what you write. So I got a coffee can and I put, I wrote it all out again because I had to do, I didn't learn the first time, I had to do it over and over again. I read it, I had to get rid of whatever it was that I wrote in order to be able to actually release it. And so what I did was I wrote it again, this time with more, I and I don't know about you, but I was writing and then I was scribbling and I was angry and everything else. All of that emotion comes out, right? So um I took it and I balled it up and I put it in a coffee can and I lit it on fire. And there is something about um the fire and the smoke going up to heaven that really helped me to let go of whatever I needed to let go of at that particular time. And then fast forward many years, there came a time when I was doing some, I was doing some some work and getting rid of some stuff and and whatever, and a memory came back to me. And I didn't want to go there, but I did. And I had it, I had to, for some reason, I felt like I had to say that I forgave him. And I called. And part of the reason why I I wanted to call is because um, you know, when you have two people in a relationship like this, they're both sick. Both of you are sick, sick for a phrase, for for uh for um loss of a better word, but you're both in this in this relationship and you both have a part in it. And for me, I believed that the things that I was doing was capping keeping him stuck in his addiction and then was perpetuating the abuse. So I made a phone call and I said, Whatever I did, or whatever I did that may have kept you stuck in your addiction while we were together, I'm sorry. That's all I had to say. I'm sorry. And then I also said, I forgive you for everything that happened that what that was part of that whole dynamic. And then they can do whatever they want with it, they can take it wherever they want, including including telling somebody else that I took full responsibility for the demise of my marriage. Okay, well, if that's the way you look at it, happy day, you know. But the point here, the point here is it's not about them, it's about us.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, amen, amen. Thank you for sharing that.

How Sharing Your Story Can Save Someone Else

SPEAKER_04

I'm sure someone is going to benefit from this. And listen, while this is a wonderful program, and I don't know who's on the other side, but if you have the opportunity, sharing is caring. Share this out with someone, tag someone if Daniela's story resonated with you, please let them connect. And you see, Teresa shared her story. So this is not a time just for a like, you know, make sure you share because this is important. It was conversations like this that help us heal.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, and makes a difference for someone else. Um, you know, some of the some some of the the biggest thing though is share, like you just said, Amelia, we shared part of ourselves that maybe we don't want necessarily want to, but for someone else, and giving them the courage and the permission to go in, go inside and do the work, do do whatever's necessary, um, you know, to to make things different, giving the courage to do the same. Daniela, I'm gonna ask you about your your um collaboration. When you after you put this book out, did people come to you and ask you to um did they connect, want to connect with you and know more about you and your story? Did you help anyone um beyond the pages of the book? I know you helped many people when you wrote the book. Anyone who wrote it, anyone who wrote in the book and anyone who read those stories can't help but have some sort of healing happen in them or a door open where they can find their way out of a circumstance or situation that they may be in. So, what was your experience after you wrote the book?

Turning Pain Into Purpose and Impact

SPEAKER_01

Well, aside from that book, I'll get to that in a second. The first co-authorship that I shared that Emilio encouraged me to finally first share my story, that I was a little hesitant. A woman reached out to me after it launched, and she got a copy of the book, and I didn't know her. And she messaged me privately, and she said, Thank you for sharing your story. She's like, I gave this to my daughter, and it encouraged her to finally leave her abusive husband. Wonderful. So, yeah, that confirmed it for me. I was like, wow, like it took my breath away. I'm like, wow, you know, so that was confirmation that I did the right thing because that that's what I wanted, you know, that kind of result. Not, you know, uh, you know, when you share your story, it's not about, you know, oh, getting sympathy or like, oh, you went through, you know, it's not what it's about, it's about inspiring and you know, and impacting somebody else. And a lot of these women in the because I did three editions of these of the behind closed.

SPEAKER_04

Tough book, tough book. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And it's tough to, even though the women they had conversations with me, even with him, but more with me, they were hesitant. So I had to kind of bring them around because the you know, one, she didn't even, she doesn't go by her real name. Um, and you know, all the same kind of uh fear, you know, like what is my family gonna think? What is this? You know, just scared to just to tell all that. And the a big part of it is, and I'm sure you'll get this, it's like it's just reliving all that because so much comes out, like what I told him when I started writing and thinking, I forgot so many things. I forgot I got thrown out of a moving car, like I literally forgot that, you know. I forgot I got chased and like got run off the road, and you know, all these things, and I'm like, oh wow, you know, so this is like it really brought out a lot, and I think a lot of us are afraid of that, yeah, you know, like you just said, like you were afraid to like remember some things, you know, or bring up some things. So it was a lot of encouraging, a lot of talks. So a lot of these women in these in these books, and I'm so proud of them because probably half of them were ready to walk, like, no, I can't do it. I don't want to do it, I'm not ready. I don't, but they did, yeah, right, right, right. They and took off from there, took off from there, like whether they started a business, whether they started a nonprofit, helping other women, like all doing something with it.

SPEAKER_03

Right, exactly, exactly. So, for those of you just joining us, we're talking with Emilio and Daniela Roman about healing and how it happens together. And and they, through their relationship, um, which happened many years after they first met each other in high school, um, they were able to hold space for one another to um to heal and to and to clear clear away some of the wreckage of the past, even though you can't go back and change the past. You can clear away the wreckage that happens within ourselves emotionally. And we've been sharing about these stories. Um, so one of the things that I um I want to ask you is um a lot of people will get so so there are 12-step rooms for just about everything. Alcoholics, alcoholics, drug addicts, friends and families of drug addicts, um, um, you know, overeaters anonymous. Um Al Anon. Alanon. Alan on, yep, exactly. And so there's the I love the fact that these these rooms are around, they call them the rooms, that these programs are around because I think everybody and anybody has is somehow qualified to be in one of those one of those meetings, right? Wouldn't wouldn't you agree? We all have a bunch of hey, listen, this world is a crazy place to live, right? Just pick up a phone, pick up the phone and call one of your friends and see what they talk about first, and you'll know, you'll know, right?

SPEAKER_04

You know, I I I love what you just said because if you've been in the rooms, you know uh the the the freedom that comes when you're in the rooms, uh, and even for those that are just have a day of sobriety 24 and you get to have this exchange, and when they're reading the promises, what's called the promises, and they're going around that and they say we're all here because we're not all there, you know?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we're all here because we're not all there exactly.

SPEAKER_04

And that is just so many great conversations, uh, to your point. And one of the things that I noticed and I struggled with, uh, once you've got some sobriety time, right? One of my sponsors at the time told me, Don't let the promises, don't let don't don't let the promises keep you from now. I'm getting it all screwed up. Don't let the promises keep you from you know getting in the room because you know the promises tell you that you're gonna get better, you're gonna heal, you're gonna recover. And then once those promises begin to manifest, we go, you know, a lot of us go right back out.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right, exactly. And that's and that's something that we have to be, we have to be um we have to be careful of. And this is something I can relate to, and Daniela, I don't know if you can as well, but I know that if I let's say if I'm I'm watching what I'm eating and things are going well, and I'm um feeling better in my, you know, feeling better physically, my brain is not fogged up about anything or whatever. And then all of a sudden it's like, hmm, uh, the ice cream polar that has the best ice cream in town just opened. I think I'm gonna go get some. And then the next thing you know, you're like slipping and sliding and all your way down and splashing into a pool of nonsense that you didn't want to be in, right? Ask me how I know this. Oh, yes, yes, yes,

Why Community Is Essential for Emotional Healing

SPEAKER_03

but getting back on the wagon again, if you will. Let's call it the wagon. Getting back on the wagon again is the top is harder than getting off it the first than getting on it the first time around. Would you agree?

SPEAKER_04

Definitely, definitely a challenge, and this is where proximity is important. This is why having people around you who can look at you and say, Teresa, it's it's okay. Listen, that let's get back on this together. Countability apart. Here's my number.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, accountability apart. Uh yeah, we all need one.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we all need one. So that that goes to the title of the show Healing Happens Together because alone and left to my own devices, oh man, I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble, you know. So it's it's just uh and I know that I know that you um you also uh uh feel the same way. Emilio, let's talk about what's on the screen. Let's talk about this born to risk series that you have going on. How did this get birthed?

SPEAKER_04

Well, you know, it birthed through a lot of what you and I, Danielle, have gone through through pain, right? So we we all go through something if and if we're honest with ourselves, uh most of where we're strongest today comes from our struggles, right? How to turn your struggles into strength. That's really where we're at. So this book here, Born to Risk. And if you can, I don't, I know you do you don't see it here because that that's an old mock, but the actual one is born to risk, risking it all stories of courage, right? That that that's it, risking it all stories of courage. We've asked everyone, what's the one risk that changed it all for you? And if again, if we're being honest with ourselves, there's we've got many risks that we've taken, right? I know you've got one, but what's that one that really changed it all? And so that's what we've asked uh a lot of the veterans and and folks, and and again, that was birthed from a real conversation with me, my wife, and like you and I. The reason where we gel is because we know that we all have a story, we all need to share it. And if we don't, and I tell people when I approach them about sharing their story, and they said, No, not me. I look at them and I say, Teresa, you're selfish. You know why? You've gone through something. God, God has gotten you through something, and your story at this point is not about you anymore, it's about another brother or sister that's struggling with addiction, with finances, with pornography, and you mean to tell me you're not ready to share your story. That's that's how passionate I feel about it. I I do it respectfully, but I do come at people if I know that they've got more to give because people challenge me.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly. Yeah, and I think I believe, and and Danielle, I know from what you've said, you believe

The Ripple Effect of One Brave Decision

SPEAKER_03

the same thing too. I believe that if we have found our way out, the other side of a problem, whatever the problem is, if we found our way out in any way, and there were many problems. Like I discovered stuff about myself that I didn't even know once I got through, once I got away from that one situation that caused me to say, enough, and it's got to be different. I had I had this come to Jesus moment. I I looked myself in the mirror and I said, I don't recognize you. Where did you go? So I asked myself two questions. Who are you and why are you here? And I did that from the standpoint I didn't recognize myself. So that was the first thing. Who am I? Who am I? And then then who am I really? Like, who did God create me to be? You know, so who am I really? And why am I here? Why am I still stuck in this situation? And why am I put on this earth at this time for the right now? Like, what is my purpose? That was a huge question to ask myself, and it was in doing that that I got a little bit of courage in order to be able to take the first steps out of the hell that I was living in. So, yeah, and and then so I found my way out. So it's my responsibility to give somebody else a hand up, not a hand out, a hand up to get them out of the of whatever the circumstance or situation is. And God will always give you someone who's going through something that even if you're not the main person that they connect with, you can always plant a seed of hope in somebody else by sharing your story.

SPEAKER_04

Teresa, thank you for sharing that. And those two questions that you ask yourself, that that was key. Anybody watching this, and I'm gonna have to refer, right? Because you and I were having a conversation, all three of us. Shout out to Dizzy D in the background doing his magic. So we thank you for that. I love Dizzy D. Dizzy D, appreciate you, my brother. Here's

Quest - How to Start Your Own Healing Journey Today

SPEAKER_04

what's what Theresa just, what she's discovered, and what we've all discovered, it's in the question. Quest, think about it, quest, right? It's question. So when you understand that you have to ask better questions of yourself and others if you truly want a solution, because if you and I begin to why me, or as they say in the rooms of alcohol, poor me, pour me, pour me a drink, right? So if you're gonna ask questions, don't ask the questions that are just low vibrational, like why did this happen with the attitude? If you're gonna ask why did this happen with a seriousness of you really want to learn what the lesson was in this mess, you're gonna get it. Trust me, you're gonna get it. But so again, learn. To ask the questions like Teresa, what were those two questions again

Questions: Who Are You? and Why Are You Here?

SPEAKER_04

that you asked? That was powerful.

SPEAKER_03

Who are you and why are you here?

SPEAKER_04

Man, I think everyone needs to write that down. You need to share this out. Uh, before you go on and move on into doing what you're doing, take note of that. I know we're gonna ask that question. We're gonna again, because it's not a one-time thing, right? You gotta keep you gotta keep asking that because we evolve.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, not only that, you know, I I'm and you then the two of you have great faith also.

Scriptures

SPEAKER_03

So one of my favorite scriptures is well, there's two of them. Um I can do all those, um, I can do all things through him who gives me strength, Philippians 4 13, and also um Jeremiah 29, 11. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And I stand by those two scriptures because when things are going wrong in my life, I remember that I'm here for a purpose and that everything that happens is purposefully put in front of me for my personal growth, for my me to become the best person that I can be and whoever he created me to be. So, Daniela, I'm gonna ask you a question.

Daniela's Delicious Delights - cooking therapy

SPEAKER_03

So now you have you have this incredible relationship with your husband, you have this, you have this business that you are Daniela's delicious delights. Tell me how how is your ability to cook, how is that relative to your um your healing? Because healing happens together. So for me, I'm like you. I love to cook. I get great joy out of feeding other people. And I'm guessing that you have the same gene in you as well. So let's talk a little bit about how we can use what God has given us to be able to not just help heal ourselves, but to help heal others through the generosity and the gifts that He's given us. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so here's the thing cooking and without me even knowing it years ago has always been therapy for me. Always. And I always, you know, looking back, like how they say hindsight is 2020, right? So I look back and I'm like, every time that you know, whatever I was going through, challenges, hard times, I'd end up in the kitchen. And when I'm in the kitchen, I remember somebody asked me sometime, like, what kind of do you listen to music? Do you I'm like, no, I'm in total silence 99% of the time, because that's when I'm like my wheels are turning, or I'm dealing with whatever I'm going through. I'm trying to figure things out, or I'm thinking of new ideas, or you know, or just whatever it is. That is always been therapy for me. And then getting back into this, like in the last it's going on three years now with Danielle's licious delights. Um, he'll tell you, like, I'm in here, and you know, you don't even know I'm in here. You know, I'm in the kitchen and I'm like, I could have made 10 things and you don't hear anything. Like, I'm very like the way I do things, like I'm just very, you know, focused and I'm in a zone and I'm just creating. And you know, that's what I told a lot of these, well, you know, all the women in these books, like, find what helps you through your healing. It could be exercise, yoga, dance, gardening, doesn't matter. Everybody has something, you know. So for him, it was like, you know, working out, whatever that's always been his thing, and you know, and what or just being creative, you know. Yeah, so yeah, that is definitely therapy. Uh has helped me get through a lot.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and and everybody knows you're cooking because all you have to do is like open the front door, and then the evidence is there, right? Excuse me. Whenever my son comes over for dinner, and when he comes to the house, he opens the door and he goes, God, it smells good in here. Right?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she loves to cook. I mean, like, just like you, Teresa. Uh, I mean, when I open that, I'm like, she goes, get out of there. And I and I'm just like, she goes, That's not for you, that's for the grandbaby. She's already has it all marked out and divided out. She goes, only take one of those.

SPEAKER_03

Because I'm like, um, then I gotta everything, then I gotta work out extra hard. Oh my goodness, my goodness, yeah. All the things that we do. What do you what's next for you guys? What's going on next? Let's talk a little bit about what we have going on, what you have are part of, I'm gonna be a part of. Let's talk about what's going on at the end of May.

SPEAKER_04

Amen. Amen. Yes, yes. So a lot of things are going on in and and for your audience, Danielle and I, because of what we do, everything that you just described, we love to serve others. And if you are go to our social media and you happen to land on my page, you clearly see I help Christian entrepreneurs monetize their story. So we truly believe that everyone has a story, right? But if you're not telling it, someone else is. And have you ever played the game Whisper Down the Lane? So, Teresa, we've done this with five, ten people in the room or 50, and we'll go immense hot dogs and relish. By the time it comes back, I'm a vegan, right? And this happens in a room of five people with whisper down the lane. So, this is why we're encouraging

Tell Your Story - Teresa Velardi Can Help

SPEAKER_04

you to go to Teresa, right? Reach out to us, but go to Teresa first and share your story. Teresa has anthologies, and I'm sure she can help you write your own story. And so that's when you say what goes on with us every three months, every 90 days, we have an event in our home, and we have we look for other events, like for example, the one where we're gonna see each other here. It's the Guinness World Records,

Upcoming Guinness World Record Challenge

SPEAKER_04

yeah. And Teresa, share it because you're gonna be a part of it. What are we gonna do there?

SPEAKER_03

So it's from so we've all written something for a book, kind of like the anthologies that I do, right? So the daily gift book series is an anthology series, and we'll talk about that in a second. But we're all gonna be in the same room and sign the book. And I'm I'm not exactly sure what the record is right now. Maybe you can tell me, tell our audience, and and maybe there is somebody out there who wants to be involved in this. So if you can give the details, you know it better than I do. So go ahead and that's great.

SPEAKER_04

We'll see exactly what Teresa said. We're all gonna come together and we're all sharing the story. And the current record is 126 authors signing a book simultaneously. So think about it. Uh, Teresa already did hers. I think you you did yours, right? Yesterday, right? And so you you can share a quote, a Bible verse, uh, you can share a little bit more if you like, but we're all coming together, it has to be in a book, okay? And then that book we're going to um be in Philadelphia on the 30th, which is a Saturday. So you can make it, you can make it right. Reach out to Teresa or myself, and how exciting! We're gonna have an adjudicator, an official person from the Guinness World Record is going to be there and they're going to tally up, right? They're they're gonna have the book. You must be in the book in order to qualify to be a Guinness World Record holder, otherwise, you're just a spectator. So that's fine if you want to be a spectator. But here's why they want to do this, Teresa. Teresa and I, we are we're publishers. So I did this in 2020. And can you see here? You can see this is beat up. My name, Emile Roman, Guinness World Record. This here, you can take that moniker once it goes from an attempt to an official record, that will open up so many doors for you. So that really is the big thing. Um, that why you want to do it, whether you're a barber or dog walker, it doesn't matter. You now are that that dog walker, that barber, that DJ Dizzy D who's already great. He's now the the one, he's a DJ with their Guinness World record.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. And that's I is I just think it's so exciting that um that people do this sort of thing. And um, I I'm I just love I love the people who are part of this, and that's the reason why I want to be involved because it's not necessarily about the record, it's about the people, it's always about the people for me, it's about the relationship, it's about building because we weren't, hey, listen, if we were supposed to go through life ourselves, we would be the only person on the planet, you know. So I mean, uh when God created us, he created us for community, and community is huge. When you when you go through life with other people, it's a lot easier to do. And in order to be able to win a good this Guinness book um title, you have to have other people to do it with you. So I love that. I love that. And so we're gonna attempt to break the Guinness book, the Guinness World Record for the most number of people signing the book, right? So so cool. When you told me about that, I was like, Yeah, oh you were on it, yes. Maybe we could do it with one of the uh one of the daily gifts. So, first of all, let's talk about

Daily Gift Book series

SPEAKER_03

gratitude for the the first one was daily gift of gratitude, and all these stories in here about gratitude and how gratitude shifts your mindset and changes your life. And then we we went from and when you have a grateful heart, you can become more hopeful. So daily gift of hope was next. And and with those two things, and when you embody those two things, you become a much kinder person. So daily gift of kindness, and then all of that put together gives you a spirit of peace. So daily gift of peace was next. Daily gift of friendship. I I ran out of copies of daily gift of friendship, but when you're living life like that, it's easy to have more wholesome friendships, right? And now we're doing a daily gift of inspiration. So if you have something that you would like to share, you can just reach out to me at authentic endeavors publishing.com and you can see all about it under the tab that says Daily Gift. And Emilio and Daniela are going to write something in that book, and we are um where hey, listen, I don't know about you guys, but I think we're stuck. We're stuck, we're stuck together like now. Oh, listen, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'm good with it. Listen, when we we said this when we started how we met, and I I just your energy, your your love for Christ. And I mean, we we it was just like I felt like we've known each other. Like, how many of you out there go to an event and like five minutes later you're hugging someone? Rarely does that happen. So that's what happened with us. What we mean when I meet someone with the right energy, right? Right. So we will meet someone and and you gel, you just know it, right? And that's how it is for us.

SPEAKER_03

And then the beauty of it is that he's married to somebody who I could uh I I've never met Danielle person to person, but I'm looking, I'm excited to see her at the end of May. And and I feel like she's a sister from another mister, if you will.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, yes, yes. Listen, we're excited. Thank you for having us this evening. Um, my God, this has been a blessing. I don't know if you can see my eyes. I had my eyes were dilated today, so I'm I'm I've been doing this the whole time. If you ever have your eyes dilated, you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03

Well, before we we're gonna close in about five minutes, but I want you to tell people how can they follow you? What's your social media? How can they follow you? How can they get in touch with you if they want to be part of this? What's going on? And you have another event coming up in August. We're going to Virginia Beach um for that event. So let's uh how can we how can we get in touch with you, people who are listening? And um, what's your social media? Yeah,

Kitchen Confidence Course - Mompreneurs become Rock Stars in the Kitchen

SPEAKER_03

let's spill the beans, guys.

SPEAKER_01

Spill the beans for me um on Facebook, just Daniela Roman. And I'm also I also have a Daniella's Delicious Delights page. And you can email me at info at Daniella's Delicious Delights.com if you want to learn about uh my kitchen confidence course where I help Montpreneurs become rock stars in the kitchen. Nice.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no, we love it, and you know what? Yeah, it's been amazing what she's done, and so what we've done here with us with um the born of risk community co-author, we've actually bought it together. So every 90 days in our home here in South Jersey, we go ahead and we have authors come in, 10 to 15. We put on what's called a mastermind, and she does the cooking, she sponsors it, and it's incredible. So we've been able to put our two loves and passion of helping people, uh, feeding people, and it's a healing experience. It's such a healing experience. We got to get you to one of them. But emiliauramand.com for those of you that want to follow me. I've had that site up for 15 years. Born to Risk is the series, just like the wonderful series that you have. Uh, this has now turned into a documentary. You can go watch the documentary for free at born to risk.com. And we keep putting out a new series. We now have, and you know what? I'll share it with you for the first time. We haven't even revealed it to our tribe, but in 2027, we're going to have the born to risk a martial arts series. So where we're highlighting the top martial artists in the world, just for you, exclusive, just for you.

SPEAKER_03

Awesome, perfect. And now what about social media? You have you have your your um Emilio Roman, um Reverend Emilio Roman on social media. Yes, yes, and all of the information is scrolling along the bottom, will be at the bottom of the in the description on YouTube, on YouTube and on the Facebook channel. Uh Facebook, you we we go live on my Facebook page, and we we also post two Conversations That Make a Difference podcast Facebook page.

Healing Happens Together

SPEAKER_03

Hey, Emilio and Daniela, I cannot thank you enough for coming on the show today. This has been wonderful. It's been a lot of information, and you are definitely um, definitely an example of how healing happens together. Thank you so much for sharing your stories, taking the risk, because we are born to risk, right?

SPEAKER_02

That's true.

SPEAKER_03

Taking the risk of sharing, sharing who you are and how you be in the world and how you help other people in the many different ways that you show up. And I'm just grateful to know both of you. And for those of you who are listening, be sure to reach out to them. They are they are wonderful people. And remember this: these conversations that make a difference, you should be having them every day. And I'm not gonna say shoo it on you, but every conversation that you have makes a difference to somebody else in some one way or another, whether you're giving direction, whether you're sharing your story, whatever the case may be, we are meant to live in community. And by speaking to one another and sharing good conversations, we make a difference. And the day that I stood in front of that mirror and asked myself those two questions, who are you and why are you here? That made the biggest difference in my life because I believe that God put me there and God made me ask those questions so that I would move my butt out of something that was strangling who I was. So the conversations that you're having with everybody else and the conversations that you having with yourself are making a difference. One way or the other, they make a difference. So, my hope for you is that you will take this information, it will make a difference in your life, and you'll come back next time for the next conversation that makes a difference. Thanks so much for joining us, everybody. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Thank you guys.

SPEAKER_00

That brings us to the close of another episode of Conversations That Make a Difference with host Teresa Vellardi. We want to sincerely thank you for tuning in and sharing your time with us today. Our greatest hope is that today's discussion inspired your personal growth, encouraged you to share your unique gift, and gave you the courage to write your own magnificent story. If this message resonated with you, let's keep the conversation going. Take a moment to like, comment, and subscribe on YouTube and follow us on our conversations that make a difference Facebook page. This will ensure you never miss a moment of inspiration. We air new episodes every Tuesday at 5 p.m. Eastern time. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. It truly helps us reach and empower more people. Until next time, keep making a difference. We look forward to welcoming you back next Tuesday to our next conversation.