Leadership Lessons from Earth, Air, Fire & Water - Heather Hansen O'Neill

In this inspiring episode of Conversations That Make a Difference, Teresa Velardi sits down with international keynote speaker, behavioral expert, author, and adventurer Heather Hansen O'Neill to explore her powerful leadership framework, The Elements of Adventure. Heather shares how the natural elements reveal essential lessons about leadership, teamwork, personal growth, resilience, and human connection. Together, Teresa and Heather discuss overcoming fear, stepping outside your comfort zone, building stronger teams, practicing gratitude, finding purpose, and embracing the humanity that connects us all.

Whether you're a business leader, entrepreneur, sales professional, coach, or someone seeking personal transformation, this conversation will leave you inspired to take your next courageous step.

In this episode, you'll learn:
✔ How the Elements of Adventure framework transforms leadership
✔ Why trust and relationships drive team success
✔ The connection between gratitude and personal growth
✔ How to move from fear to action
✔ Why humanity is the future of leadership and sales
✔ Practical ways to overcome feeling stuck
✔ The power of kindness, service, and authentic connection

Connect with Heather Hansen O'Neill:
Facebook:   / heather.h.oneill.9 
Instagram:   / heather.hansen.oneill 
LinkedIn:   / heatherhansenoneill 

Hosted by Teresa Velardi, Conversations That Make a Difference features inspiring guests sharing wisdom on leadership, healing, personal growth, spirituality, business, resilience, and creating positive change in the world.

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Transcript

Conversations That Make a Difference with Teresa Velardi

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Welcome to Conversations That Make a Difference with your host, Teresa Vellarni. We believe that authentic, meaningful, and diverse conversations are the glue that binds us together. Our discussions remind us we have the power to uplift, challenge, stretch, and invite dynamic growth. Argue like it, feeling like your mind, your hands to life. Join us for conversations filled with gratitude, value, abundance, authenticity, and faith. Here's the host of our show, Teresa Villar.

SPEAKER_04 1:24

Hey everyone, and welcome once again to Conversations That Make a Difference. I'm here with my guest, Heather Hansen O'Neill. I'll introduce her for you to you in a moment. We have a great discussion for you today. And who knows where it will take me, but we do know one thing, it will make a difference for you. So let's start with the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And I also want to say that it is by God's grace that we are fabulous, blessed, highly favored, living in our greatness, using our gifts and talents with passion and purpose to make a difference in the lives of others. And all of God's great universe is conspiring in our favor. And with that, let me introduce my guest, Heather Hanson O'Neill. We know each other for quite a while. We live on the east coast of the country and met in California at an event how many years ago? Oh, just we're not gonna, we're not gonna date ourselves yet. Okay, thank you.

Meet Heather Hansen O'Neill

SPEAKER_04 2:33

So Heather Hansen O'Neill is an international keynote speaker, behavioral expert, four-time author, and adventurer. She is also a two-time TEDx speaker, host of the popular podcast From Fear to Fire, and the host of Humanity of Sales radio show. Heather wrote the book, Finding Humanity 2025 in 2025 on the intersection of humanity and business, and her signature model, Elements of Adventure, is a powerful framework she utilizes to empower leaders, ignite results, and change the world. One adventure at a time. Heather, welcome to Conversations That Make a Difference. Thank you, Teresa. I'm so pleased to be here. Thank you for asking me. Yeah, it's so great to see you here. I know what a wealth of information you are. You're um you are an expert in leadership.

Why Teams Struggle with Confusion, Isolation & Apathy

SPEAKER_04 3:31

And I want to ask the audience a question: Are you and your team struggling with confusion, isolation, apathy, and inertia? Who isn't today? Who doesn't have at least one person on their team who's struggling with what's going on in the world today? Well, Heather's signature program, The Elements of Adventure, transforms lives, life's complexities, and business challenges into a joyful journey using the properties of earth, water, air, and fire as the framework for success. The Elements of Adventure isn't just a keynote, it's an energizing experience that leaves top leaders, sales professionals, and entrepreneurs with a solid plan, a warm glow, and a backpack full of takeaways for their personal and organizational journey. We have an expert in the house, guys. Listen up.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Anything that anybody

The Birth of the Elements of Adventure Framework

SPEAKER_02 4:38

needs.

SPEAKER_04 4:38

Yeah, I love the elements of earth, air, water, and fire. I, you know, I'm a potter, I'm a ceramic artist. And there's a lesson in leadership, a lesson in transformation in the process of making pottery using all of those elements. How do you use them in your trainings?

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Oh, that's amazing. We did we need to go deeper into that pottery thing. Maybe when you come on my show, we'll have that happen, okay?

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Yeah, I I can't I came upon, well, I'm a creator of content, it's what I do, and so I've got uh many different models through the 27 years. Yes, I am officially dating myself that I've been in business. Um, but the elements of adventure is something that wasn't so much in I'm creating this thing as I just started removing anything else that didn't fit. And I got to the core of who I am. So the the work that I've done with leaders, the my um my adventure nature, you know, I love being out in nature, I'm an adventure junkie, I do crazy things. So I figured, how can I become more of myself and help people in the process, right? And so I started thinking about the elements of nature and how they've helped me, because frankly, I'm a fire style. You as the as a potter, uh, you understand what's involved in that. There's a lot of transformation, there's a lot of energy. But you, if you are incessantly in a fire style, you can burn yourself out. And I didn't even realize that I was burning myself out until I moved to the beach with the water, and I infused more of that element into my life. And then I started to dive deeper into what each of them meant. Uh, and so I can share any part of that that you might like.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

Yeah, maybe just a little bit of a tip on what each of them means without going into great detail on anyone to give our audience an overview of how they play into your training and their lives.

Understanding the Five Leadership Styles

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Of course. So I have actually created an assessment that people can take that is a behavioral assessment that helps you understand what your style is of the five that I'm going to mention to you. I know we started out the four primary ones, um, but that's how I start by helping teams to understand it's the diversity of having different styles on a team that's going to help you and to understand your own style as a leader and how to adapt to be more effective. So the Earth style is really the foundation. That is how we bring in the foundation of values and uh the purpose of where you are going, having the systems in place to support that. It's the really strong foundation that keeps your team aligned and moving in the right direction. Then water is that flow. That's all about relationships. It's the give and the take and um how we better understand that there are going to be rocks, there are going to be trees that come down and in the flow of our life, those obstacles, and we have to know how to flow around them, through them, over them, so that we can build stronger relationships and live more joyful lives. Then air is how we infuse creativity, ideas, ideation, um, creativity into our teams, into our lives. And then fire is that that passion and it's that uh that driving force, that's the activation. And I say five because those are the four elements that are tied together in my uh framework with the heart of humanity. Everything that I do is based on the heart of humanity. That book that you mentioned in the beginning, Finding Humanity. Um, I know that you are a passion-driven woman, entrepreneur, um, change maker. And I know that you work with other people who are as well. And that's what I do, you know, and and if we can tie everything together with that bow of how am I serving, then then leadership, real leadership, meaningful leadership is going to follow.

Leadership Is Service, Not Control

SPEAKER_04 8:52

I love that you said that because a lot of people think that leadership is about controlling others, and they are so, so, so wrong in that definition. And that is old school, real old school leadership. Whereas I believe exactly what you just said, how are we serving each other? Each other as a team, each other as a community, each other as, and it goes out and out and out. And because we are all connected, right? Everybody's connected in one way or another. Humanity is connected by an invisible thread that ties us all together.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Um,

Rebuilding Human Connection in a Noisy World

SPEAKER_01 9:29

you know, Teresa, it's it's interesting that you say that because we are it that it's all about the connections. And now you you alluded to it in the beginning of the show, but we're all kind of feeling it, right? We're feeling that heaviness, we're feeling uh it's hard, it's a little hard right now, right? And some of those connections are getting severed. The connection to ourselves, to our higher power, to each other, to our teams, to our customers, it it's it's getting lost. And so when we come back to thinking about humanity, um, we are one human interacting with other humans, and we start to treat people differently. We we start to seek out moments where people are doing things right, not and where the things that we have in common, not what we've been seeing lately and the differences, um, the divisions. And so when you make that shift, you you start to move from problems to solutions, you you start to reestablish those connections, start to feel better, stronger, and you're moving forward in the right way.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

Right. I think which is just that is so powerful. I think basically to sum that up, I hear you say stop getting lost in the noise and build those relationships.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

100%. I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

I think go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

I think that these devices uh have um have they expanded our reach uh exponentially without any kind of argument or any kind of discussion about how that happens. I think it also takes us out of what I feel and I'm hearing you say is most important. And it is the relationship factor that we are giving way to technology. Yes?

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Yes, 100%. You know, when I'm talking, whether I'm talking to a leader, whether I'm talking to anyone in any role, or I'm talking to a parent and talking to someone who wants to strengthen the relationship with their significant other, it when we reduce that outside noise. I love that you use that word, we reduce the outside noise that is incessant all around us. We put turn the phone off, we turn our computer off, and we just focus on another individual. Amazing things happened. You know, it you we think it has to be big. It doesn't, it's all about those small moments where we that really make a difference in someone's heart.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I think people are craving that today, but they don't know it because of all the chatter that's going on around them, yes.

Why Humanity Drives Business Success

SPEAKER_01 12:00

For sure. You know, and and in the research that I did when I was writing my book, I found, you know, it started personal, very personal for me. Uh, I was going through a difficult time, but then it I looked at, well, what might this mean in business? And I did the research and I found that those organizations that actually care about their people, that are going over and above for their customers, that are looking at, you know, something beyond profit at how am I serving my community? What am I doing that is is more meaningful, that it comes back to them. So not only is this to make you feel better, not only is this to build connections, but if this is important to you, this is also something that can grow your business.

SPEAKER_04 12:42

Right, exactly. Exactly. The service factor, I think people, I think people uh gloss over or or try to smother um having to go out and be of service to someone in their community, take on, you know, I mean there are so many people that are hungry today. I mean, donate to a food, a food bank, go over, go over to um a um a venue that maybe serving

Service, Purpose and Making a Difference

SPEAKER_04 13:09

a meal or something. Just you know, I remember years ago um when I first moved this area from Long Island to Pennsylvania, someone told me about um there was somebody who was running a soup kitchen, and I asked if we could come and serve. And I took my son with me, who was, you know, you know, it's the that's a kid that's doing somersaults down there down the main aisle of church doesn't want to be there, take me out of here, and I dragged him there. And what was what really happened there was that um the the joy of having been able to serve someone, do something good for someone, make a difference in one way or another. We both carried that with us for a long time. That's my heart. I grew up with that. He did not, he did not have an experience like that when we lived on the island, but he he got something out of it. So it's not just for the people that you're serving, it's for you as well. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Oh, yes, it's for you and it's for everyone that you touch, you know. As a parent or or as a you know, anyone, we often get so burnt out trying to do and even to serve and to, you know, to try to do the right things all the time or to make more money or to, you know, just keep going, going, going, going in that noise. But when we take the time to to get calm and to think about what's important here, then you start setting a better example, you start filling the well, you start doing laser-focused right actions for what is meaningful to you and what can make the most difference to others. It's not just I'm just gonna, you know, constantly move and and do the that was me. I was the somersault kid, 100%. And and I had to learn about slowing down, calming down, and I still somersault by the way, but but also because that's the energy, the boundless energy, but making sure that you're going in the right direction, right? It's an example that way.

Flying Trapeze and Breaking Through Fear

SPEAKER_04 15:16

So I know from years ago that um uh you you used to uh have a practice. I I'm just gonna say you used to fly trapeze. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

I'm just gonna say it. It's kind of hard to like gloss that over.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

Yeah, you can't gloss it over. You can't gloss it over. Um talk about how the elements of what you need, which I I've heard you say this before, that's why, and I remember it. I remember it. And I'm gonna ask you to share how flying trapeze plays right into this conversation that we're having right now and being of service to one another.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Oh my goodness. Okay, so I can go a couple of different ways. So I'll start with that exact answer to that exact question. So the trapeze is it started out as something that is part of my adventures, like I like to do things that press me outside of my comfort zone. And I hadn't done it and I wanted to try it, and I did it, and it was incredible. And then it turned into um the graduation ceremony for an eight-week uh breaking through fear workshop that I was running for people. And the absolute incredible transformations that came from that. It was amazing, you know, to see people who were afraid to even step up the ladder, not only do that, to climb the ladder, to to hold on, to then reach out for the for the bar and then jump. It still gives me chills. I still get, I started doing these breaking through fear workshops like 15 years ago. I still get emails saying you wouldn't believe what I did. I wrote my book, I started my business, I did this thing, and I thought back to where I started to believe that I could.

Why Growth Requires Leaving Your Comfort Zone

SPEAKER_01 17:05

And it was in that, it was when I let go, when I jumped and I and I flew in the trapeze. Because what we need to do sometimes is step outside of our comfort zones. Now, not okay, listeners, I'm not saying you gotta all go out and fly on the trapeze, but doing something outside of your comfort zone is important every day because it's a practice, and we get so comfortable, so complacent. People don't make change because things are okay. People make change when you're in dire straits, things are horrible, or you're you're like you can't stop the nudge at three o'clock in the morning that's waking you up because you are compelled to do something meaningful. So, those are the two reasons why people make change, but either way, it's uncomfortable. And and so that's why each of the elements has like so rock climbing is my story for the earth. Um, uh the the trapeze is obviously air. I light things on fire for the fire, you know. I talk about um rivers and and whitewater rafting, and so so there's a there's a story because that's how we engage people, but it's really wherever you are looking at where you are and where you want to go. And often what's keeping you from where you want to go is that comfort zone, and you have to expand it. Right.

SPEAKER_04 18:26

And in the process of flying on the trapeze, if you're flying in the air, there's got to be somebody on the other side to catch you. So now we're talking about there's a bit of an element of service in there, you know, to one another in order to be able to make um to make the jump to make the leap and still be safe, you know.

Trust, Courage and Learning to Let Go

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Well, there's trust. You have to trust that the people that you that are doing this with you are professionals, they they they're gonna make sure that you're safe. The equipment that you're on has been that has been checked by someone in that earth element, right? You know, that that you that you're doing, you're letting go. And so when I say that, that the thing that comes to mind when the first time I can I can actually see her right now, I can hear her voice. The first time I flew in the trapeze, that's what where I got the lesson from it is I was afraid. I didn't want to let go. And she said, Honey, sometimes we have to let go in order to fly. Yeah, and she gave me permission and I had to let go. And that's that's across the board. Like, what are we holding on to? What fears, what judgments, which what assumptions, what limiting beliefs are we holding on to that we need to let go of in order to fly?

SPEAKER_04 19:52

And I bet I bet anybody listening to this can make a list of things that keep them.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

We all have them.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

Yeah, we all have them. Absolutely. We all have them. Yeah. Oh

What Beliefs Are Holding You Back?

SPEAKER_04 20:05

man.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Yeah. But you know, let's can I add one more thing to that, Teresa? Yes, we all have them, but that, but to come back to that sense of hope. Yes, we all have them, but sometimes they are just guiding us without our thought. You know, maybe some of these things were some beliefs have probably been given to us from someone else. And if we really took the time to think about it, we don't actually believe it, but it's been guiding our decisions. So just the simple quieting of the noise and asking, becoming aware of what are these beliefs that I have, what are these fears that I have, what is holding me back? And is it is it important to hold on to it because it's keeping me safe, or can I let it go and create space for something more extraordinary?

SPEAKER_04 20:49

Yeah. And it's usually in the letting go that you blossom.

unknown 20:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

For sure. Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah. So yeah, and I'll speak to that from this standpoint of um of the show, for example. You know, who knew that one day I was going to be doing this? I didn't know one day I was be doing this, but um I stepped outside of the box. Somebody said, you know, I have it ever, we all have a story, right? We all have a story to tell. And and it's easier to um let go of, as you were just saying, the parts of the story that keep us stuck. And in doing in having these conversations and and finding our my voice really changed who I was before that. I was stuck, I was stuck, I was literally stuck. So this conversation is for me as much as it is for anyone listening. Um, but it

From Being Stuck to Finding Your Voice

SPEAKER_04 21:47

was through it was through that stuck place. All right, so let's put it this way a seed doesn't become a flower unless it's in the dirt. It's in the dirt, it needs the elements. That you talk about in order to be able to break free from the ground and blossom into the beautiful flower that it was created to be.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

If it was easy, we wouldn't build the muscles, we wouldn't create the character, we wouldn't learn the lessons that we need to learn in order to become who we need to be to get to that next level. And Teresa, I could have called that that you would have this voice and that you would be making a difference from the first time I met you years ago, you know, and and everybody um goes through a period of time where they get a little stuck, right? And they sometimes need someone else to be able to say, Hey, you may be too close to it right now, but I see you. Yeah, I see you.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I'm gonna uh take I'm gonna segue that into something about seeing people. Um, we were talking earlier uh last year, we did a beautiful

Voices Against Trafficking and Hunger Awareness event

SPEAKER_04 23:02

um marathon with Andy Berger from Voices Against Trafficking. You want to talk about needing to be heard. Um, the victims of trafficking, they need um when they are set free from having been trafficked or living in hunger, which we're gonna talk about this year on this marathon. Um they they need a lot of a lot of care, a lot of help, a lot of hope, a lot of kindness. They need a lot of ways that they can bring peace back into their life if they ever had it in the first place. Um, last year when we did this, we had an incredible uh response to the information that was granted. And through the conversation pre-show, I found out that Heather also has an interest in this particular cause. Um, you never know until you speak up who's gonna come on board your train that's gonna make a difference in the lives of other people. So on September 26th, you see the poster in front of you. And for those of you who are listening, September 26th, we are doing once again, thanks to our producer, Dizzy D, we are doing DJs against trafficking and hunger. It's a music marathon. It will be 20 hours of music and conversation to bring light, to bring hope, to bring change in this world around this topic of trafficking and hunger. We are living in 2026. No one on this earth should be hungry with all that we have that is provided for us. No one should be hungry. And let me just say this God's children are not for sale, and no one should be in a position, young or old, or for whether it's whether it be sex trafficking, whether it be for work and um or what whatever else they use people for. This is modern day slavery that we need to, we all are responsible to make a difference in the lives of the people who have suffered such loss of uh life. Many of them have lost their lives, and many of them who have come out of it have lost themselves in the process. And all of the things that Heather and I are talking about today are elements that can help to bring them to who they were created to be. And so my hope is that you will join us for uh voice against trafficking and hunger on September 26th. And we'll be getting back to you with more information, all of you with more information on how you can participate, how you can give, how you can get the information that you need in order to be able to keep your kids safe and have them fed. So and yeah, and make sure.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

This is amazing what you're doing, and and listeners get the information, join in this. It sounds like an incredible event. Anything I can do to share it and get the word out there because that with this, it's so prevalent, and so few people even know what's happening, know what's going on. And so that awareness, that education, what you're doing to have that voice is incredibly important.

SPEAKER_04 26:19

Agreed, agreed, absolutely, absolutely. And all of these things that we're talking about today, um, it's not just about leadership, it's about life in general.

Small Steps That Create Big Change

SPEAKER_04 26:31

You know, all of these elements are for each of us. So how about you have any tips for people and how they can get started and making a little bit, just even one little change in their life that they can uh they can move forward to um showing up authentically, showing up fully and not being afraid. I love that sometimes we have to fly in sometimes we have to let go in order to fly and break free from fear.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

So I think that people often think that, and we we talked about this a little bit earlier about that something has to be big, that they have to make a massive change. And so sometimes that can be hard to gain the momentum to actually do it. So I want to give you the freedom to say it doesn't have to be, right? You can start small. You

Remember Who You Really Are

SPEAKER_01 27:20

can start small by remembering who you are, and I know that may sound a little bit weird, but I think the majority of the people that I talk to, that I work with, peak performers, high, high-functioning peak performers who at their core, at some point in their past, were told or they felt in some capacity that they weren't enough, that there was something, that they didn't have enough of something, they do, they weren't good enough for something, that somebody told them something that they saw that was based on their issues, not yours. And the reality is that you're perfect exactly as you are, and you you may not have everything that you want yet, but you are where you need to be. And so if you accept who you are, then you can look forward as to okay, so where do I want to go? What do I need to let go of? What step do I need to take? And I'm not saying steps yet. What one step can I take to move me forward to being who I want to be so that I can make a difference and I can do something that will set that example, I can do something that will transform

The Power of Kindness and Human Connection

SPEAKER_01 28:30

someone's lives, and that can be as simple as smiling at someone who seems really down. You've heard these stories, Teresa, of someone saying, I was in a really bad place, and then this person came along and they showed me an act of kindness, and I realized that I did have a lot to live for. You know, you hear these transformational stories that when we can show up with kindness, that's big. And we may see that that's a small act. Keep doing that, keep taking those steps every day.

Gratitude as a Tool for Transformation

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Yeah, little steps make a big difference. And and you know, here's here's the thing that um here's the thing that being kind to somebody else grows the gratitude muscle in us, you know. So, and you you know, you want to change your life, you want to get out of the funk that you're in, um, start keeping a gratitude journal. Start keeping a gratitude journal and um just look at all the the good things that are around you. Find find three things every day that you can be grateful for, and you'll start um in my and in my experience, you will start to recognize all the good that you have and it will build that kindness muscle. Matter of fact, I have to tell I have to tell you about this series. I don't know that you know about the series of books, but um

Daily Gift Book series

SPEAKER_04 29:55

the daily gift book series started actually um in the fire at the Potter's Wheel. Oh wow to you know bring uh bring this to life, and they all feed on one another. First one was gratitude, the second one, a grateful heart is a hopeful heart, a hopeful heart is kinder, grateful and hopeful is more kind. So we have a daily gift of kindness, it brings peace to the soul, and the daily gift of peace was the fourth one. Um, and then we had a daily gift of friendship because all of these elements together build stronger friendships, stronger relationships, greater bonds with other human beings so that you can stay out of the noise. And then now we're just about to release a daily gift of inspiration. And at Christmas time on the holidays, we're gonna do a daily gift of happiness and joy. So I didn't I didn't choose this myself. This was given to me, and it was given to me at the perfect time in my life when I needed to flip my attitude to one of gratitude in order to be able to stay, get out of the funk. You say, you say, um, you know, like sometimes you got to let go in order to fly. Um, and then also breaking free from fear. Well, let me tell you how gratitude, and I'm sure you will will talk about this as well. Gratitude and some of the things that we're speaking about here now, they break the chains of of fear and suffering that have been imposed upon us, whether it be self-imposed or imposed by another human being. You want to uh share a little bit more about that statement?

Activating Gratitude Through Action

SPEAKER_01 31:37

Yes, oh my goodness. So I'm I'm right with you with the gratitude and congratulations on that series. It's incredible. When when you think about gratitude, you start to shift your state, and then I think of it as the next level allow yourself to feel it. You know, sometimes it can stay here, but take it from here into your body and really feel it, feel it filling you, and then you got to go another step in my mind. You got to activate gratitude, and this is where you take some of those things that you wrote down that you're grateful for, and then you you you actually say, Okay, well, now I'm gonna tell somebody. Now I'm gonna I'm gonna text someone that I am grateful for that maybe I haven't told in a while. I'm going to let that employee know that they've done a great job because we spend so much time only focusing on what needs to be done differently instead of appreciating very specifically what people are doing right because they are doing things right a lot. So, where can you activate it? Who can you tell? How can you share? And that's part of what you've been doing as well.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

But I just like to kind of bump it up a little bit each time that you know, take it, think it, feel it, act it. Act it, share it, act it.

SPEAKER_04 32:59

How uh to bring that into your training

The Evolution of Leadership and Sales

SPEAKER_04 33:02

on leadership, how does this fit into what you do what you're doing in leadership and creating uh better leaders rather than those of the of days gone by?

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Oh my goodness. It so I have this um this way that you look at the evolution of sales, we'll just say it's the evolution of leadership, it's the evolution of sales. But I a lot of times I I talk to salespeople about this, and a lot of people think of sales as manipulative, right? So that's how it maybe used to be, you know, and there were all of these ways that people thought hundreds of years ago that that you made a sale by trying to talk someone into something, and the residue of that still stays with us today, and we don't even realize it. So we move from from manipulation into competition much better, but now it's win versus lose. How can we negotiate to get one over on somebody and we're gonna win? And that makes the other person walk away feeling like they've lost something, and then we move from that into consultative huge jump. That's amazing. We're we're now working together and we're we're helping each other. And so that's the third level, and this is where in what I talk about, the fourth level is the humanity of sales, which is the one of the shows that I do. It's called the humanity of sales, where purpose meets profit. And that's the next level. We have to look at how we can work together towards something bigger. It's like evolving. And when we do that, when the teams that I work with, the leaders that I work with start to shift and recognize that they're still being guided. Those those salespeople, those leaders are making decisions based on not even thinking that they they're thinking that sales is bad, that that they're gonna they have to be pushy or they have to do something wrong, or they have to get something over on someone. And and it's not the way the world actually works. Sales is service, sales is serving people, leading is serving people, right? And when we can let go of an old pattern that we've just been conditioned into from things that happened hundreds of years ago, and we come into the future of the humanity of leadership, the humanity of sales, it can absolutely transform the leader, transform the individual, transform the team, transform the results. It's

Heather's Four Books and Her Leadership Journey

SPEAKER_01 35:31

so powerful.

SPEAKER_04 35:32

So powerful, so powerful. Talk about some of the some of what you um have and put in your book. Let's look at your books for a minute. You you're making a difference out there in your writing. And um, yeah, I hope we'll get a chance to see to see more of what you uh you bring to the world. Um, so the titles of your books, go to talk about the humanity book first.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Okay, so that's the newest one. Can I reverse it? Can I go in the other order? Because there's an evolution of heather in the process. Is that all right? Absolutely. Thank you. So the first book was actually Find Your Fire. And um, it was just a fascinating story because I'm an evolution, like I said. And I decided things were my my business ramped up pretty quickly because of a mentor, and there was a need for what I was doing a while ago. And people would throw money at you. Can I can you help our team work better together? Yes, I can. Okay, good. Here you are. Um and so that was great. It was, it was, it was booming. But then I decided I want to start a family. And so sometimes as an entrepreneur, you have to look at the the quality of your life, right? So I went back and got my coaching certification so I could keep these amazing clients that I had, but not travel as much, right? And so in doing that, I didn't even realize that what would come from it is I found patterns. I was coaching the executives, and inevitably I would come back to these patterns. I never really wanted to do this. I'm not here because it was my choice, it was a family business, or I didn't know what I wanted to do. So I just went along with what my roommate was doing. There was so much discontent, and so that's where Find Your Fire came from. And the book title is really Find Your Fire at 40 because of my publisher. Now, I did not want to do that, I fought that. That was a two-hour marketing conversation with the team, them convincing me that narrowing the niche is actually widening the market.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

So that was the first one where I was really learning about people and patterns. And then I moved on to Teams on Fire using similar strategies of how um you need to find that internal fire and use it within a team. And then Where's the Office was was written during COVID. It was the only one where I had a co-author. Um, Will Lewis is an incredible human being. I met him when he was 83, and he came to me to do coaching because he wanted to start a new business idea. Like the man is incredible. I just visited with him, he's 98 now, he's he's amazing. Um, so anyway, we we um that's helping people understand that you carry the office with you, within you. So you can be successful in a virtual environment in person. You can be successful as a leader across the board if you understand that you carry it with you. Um,

Loss, Purpose and Finding Humanity

SPEAKER_01 38:26

and then finally, finding humanity came from I moved down here to South Carolina to help my mom because COVID was very hard on people with um Alzheimer's and dementia. The isolation really intensifies. Um and and I came down here with the knowledge that this was going to be a long journey because my dad had Alzheimer's, my grandfather had Alzheimer's. I am unfortunately intimately aware of the long, painful journey that this can be. Um, but she she needed help. And my kids were graduating from high school. I can run my business from anywhere, it was the perfect time to do it. And six weeks later, she passed away from pancreatic cancer. And I I was in my why, why me? How could this possibly happen? I was prepared for years, not six weeks, right? And that's when um I had an awakening as to um I was given the answer to why this happened, and and and it came in um seeking moments of humanity because it made me feel more connected and better. And when I shared those out in the world, it was what resonated with people more than anything else that I've ever posted or shared on leadership or sales or change. People needed to feel connected, they needed to hear stories of goodness and kindness, and um, that's how this came about because it helped me, it helped me find my purpose. But that's when I started to do the research of what it meant in business, and that's where that fourth book came from.

SPEAKER_04 40:12

Well, the thread that ties all of these together is just amazing. Amazing. When I saw Where's the Office, I was gonna say, on the mural in the middle of the city of Scranton. You know, so I'm like that's crazy. It isn't abundant with the paper company, everybody. It does not exist. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Scranton does exist, and that you know, I've I'm that's why I go through Scranton to see my sister all the time. Um wow, yeah. So so lastly, just uh finding humanity is the only one that I that I have done this with so far, but it it's getting such great success. I'm gonna continue doing it with any future books, is that a hundred percent of the proceeds from finding humanity go to Alzheimer's organizations because it it's it's it we need work. We need work, we need education, we need funding. So any little bitty part that I can do, I will do.

SPEAKER_04 41:16

We need we need answers as to how this happens. We need answers. Um because with with answers come solutions, you know, come solutions. So and it's it's tough. I know my I've had uh my family, um uh my both my grandmother and my great aunt had Alzheimer's and they lived for a long time with it. And it's it's it's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking to see people who were so vital to become the way that they do before before they are mercifully, it's it's a merciful thing. And and in your situation, it was not that, it was something else. And my parents both had cancer. My mother had 50, she lived with it for 20 years, she had a 15-year remission, and my dad found out he was um he was he had cancer in April and he was gone by July. So, you know, I mean, everybody's journey is different, but the humanity, the humanity is the central having being being being human, allowing them to be human and to be treated mercifully, kindly, um, and all of the things that we're talking about um in the process, whatever that looks like, whatever

Acceptance, Compassion and Different Life Journeys

SPEAKER_04 42:34

it looks like.

SPEAKER_01 42:35

Yeah, so beautiful, Teresa. It's all about that human-to-human connection and allowing. I I love that you were saying that everyone has their own journey, whether it is what we're talking about now, about the journey of passing or the journey of living, right? And that acceptance that your journey is yours and and you're gonna do the most that you can with it, but that somebody else can have a different journey, and that's okay. They can make different choices, they can be different people, and and we can be okay not agreeing, not doing the same things, and living our lives in kindness.

Collaboration Over Competition

SPEAKER_04 43:14

Yeah, exactly. And not only that, when you cross paths with differences of opinion, find a way to collaborate instead of um, you know, instead of um competing, find a way to collaborate. I it's you know, it's like with the work that I do with publishing, I I do certain things. There are certain things that I won't do, and there are other people who are publishers who will do those things that I won't do or don't want to do for whatever reason, my belief system, whatever the case may be. I mean, we all have we all have a different role to play. And this and it's and and the role above all else, let me just say this the hat that we should all be wearing is should have the label authenticity in the front of it. Just be who you are, you know.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Everything that belongs to you will come to you. And I and I love that you're talking about that and collaboration. I I come from an abundant mentality. And in the speaking industry, you know, it can be very competitive, right? But I have a group of speakers that agree, like that think the way that I do, and we all share business with each other. You know, when you go do a keynote for a large organization, they're not going to have you come back again every year. So, but they, if they like the your integrity, if they like how you speak and what you do, they're going to come to you as a resource and say, who does what you do? We loved what you did. Is there someone that you know? And I've given so much business and I've received so much business by being open.

Moving from Scarcity to Abundance

SPEAKER_01 44:47

Can I share something? This is something I sometimes share with with my leaders. Um when you want something or when you feel like you don't have enough of something, we get really closed in. We come from that lack state, right? And when we're in a state of lack, we hold on tight, right? Because we think, oh, well, we don't have enough money, so I gotta hold on to what I have, or I don't, I'm not getting enough affection, so I'm not gonna give it to other people, or I'm not, I don't have enough of this. I'm just gonna, you know, and and you get like like you get really physically closed up and the and the hard part is to let go of what you're attached to first, yeah, because what it does is it creates space. That's the way that you're going to get everything that you want coming to you. Because if you're coming from this, it can't reach you, but if you come from this, it can. And so when we move from lack to abundance, things start to flow.

SPEAKER_04 45:50

Exactly. Exactly. That illustration you had just now with your hands like this and then like this. Put sand in your open hands, it stays there.

unknown 46:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 46:01

Put sand in your open hand and you and close your fists, and it all nothing can get in, nothing can get out. Yes, it's closed, nothing can get in, nothing can get out of closed fists. But when you open, you have the ability for things to you know stay or move, move away, and the next thing come in. It's just, I have somebody who's going in my life who's going through a really rough time right now. And this, what you just said, is the exact conversation that I was attempting to have with this person, but they were so closed down to the drama of the situation and so invested in the drama that it's you know, you know and the what ifs too. That's the other thing.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

There are certain people that I have um done business with in my in the time that I've been in business that I don't anymore. And and and that is simply like the if you are really attached to wanting to be in the drama or be in the challenge or be in um that lack, that's that's your decision. That's okay. But I can't help you unless you're willing to open your mind to what might be possible.

You Don't Have to Navigate Life Alone

SPEAKER_01 47:22

You don't have to agree with me, but open your mind to what might be possible because there's so many opportunities, there's so many different ways of looking at things, there's so many ways that we can get unstuck so that we can find our voice, just like beautiful Teresa has found her voice, that we can we can do this together, we don't have to try to navigate it alone, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

Yeah, and it because uh we go back to the word humanity pops into my head again. You don't have to go through it alone. Let me tell you if you were supposed to go through it alone, God you would be the God would have put you as the only person on the planet and you could have at it. Yeah, no fun, that would be no fun, no fun. So we were we are built for community, we are built for collaboration, we are built for cooperation, we are built to do things together, and it's with and it's with that joint effort that it makes a difference.

Why Diverse Teams Perform Better

SPEAKER_04 48:26

It makes a difference. So go ahead. You have something to say.

SPEAKER_01 48:29

Well, I mean, I just when you when you said that it just brought me back kind of to the how we started when you asked me to to explain about the elements of adventure and that assessment is that oftentimes when entrepreneurs are growing their businesses, they start to they realize they have to hire. And sometimes they hire people that they like, right? And not necessarily looking at who will complement me, right? And and so the same thing on on teams, right? It's okay to have those differences. It's not only okay, it's imperative to have those differences so that you can um maximize the the optimal performance, right? It we don't have to be the same, and it may be a little harder getting along, but once we really recognize and appreciate everyone's differences, then we'll be able to work together more effectively. And did I give you enough time? Bless you.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

I thank you. And they come in threes, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 49:34

I'm for a tri Caesar, me too.

SPEAKER_04 49:40

But I'm going back to the the um the element, you know, the elements as you're talking, yeah, you know, every single one is needed with their gifts and talents, their ways of being, their strengths. This is a conversation that I've been having with my team, um, and people who are um part of, you know, who are coming in to uh maybe get their books published, maybe do some some whatever coaching, whatever. Um I am all about people standing in and operating from their strengths. And that's what you're that's what you're talking about here. Make no mistake, when the fire needs to be put out, water is right there. And if the if the um if the wind is blowing, some of the earth is gonna get picked up and moved out of their seat, you know. So that's I mean, I I mean when I look at it from an artistic standpoint, I mean I can see it all happening. And sometimes the dirt flying needs the water to drop it down too, you know. So it's um yeah. It ties together. It all ties together. Absolutely, it all ties together, and that's the way that it works best.

unknown 50:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:57

Oh, I love this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Oh, this has been an absolute joy, Teresa. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_04 51:04

You're

Leadership Coaching for Every Stage of Growth

SPEAKER_04 51:05

so welcome. You're so welcome. So let me ask a question, Heather. Do you the the work that you do with um on leadership with teams? Um, do you also work with individuals um to help them build their leadership muscle, so to speak?

SPEAKER_01 51:23

Yeah, people are in different places in their journey. I meet people where they are, you know, and and some people, you know, whether it's someone who's a solopreneur who needs to be able to lead themselves effectively because they're wearing all of the hats at the moment, or it's someone who's just starting out and has just been hired into a management role because they were outstanding at their performance role, but they've not been taught anything to do with leadership at all. That happens every day, way more than it should. Um, or whether it's a CEO of a large organization, it doesn't really matter. Um, I love working with individuals, but like I said, it's not the same as it used to be. To be honest, between you and I, when I started my business, if you had a pulse, I would work with you. And now I'm a little bit more discriminating. And what I mean by that is I don't discriminate against anyone in any form other than do you believe in you? And are you willing to take the actions necessary to get what you want? If you're just going to say it and not do anything, then I'm not the right fit for you. You know?

SPEAKER_04 52:41

Yeah, and I I think that um there there are some there are some people, I'm not gonna say any names here, but um, there are some people who um get the information, know what they need to do, and somehow are still sitting on their laurels in parts of their life where they just just for whatever reason, uh whatever reason, I'm raising my hand. I'm just I'm just telling, I'm just calling myself out here in different parts of my you know, yeah. We all have that element in us. Yeah. And how can what's one thing you can you can um can give to the audience today, given the circumstance and situation that I just said, like there are some people that are sitting on something in

Breaking Free When You Feel Stuck

SPEAKER_04 53:25

their life that for whatever reason they are stuck with and just can't seem to let go, know what has to be done and keep falling back. What is there something that you can share that would help to have them break free?

SPEAKER_01 53:41

Sure. Um, I'm gonna tell a little story, but before I do, um everyone is different. Um, so I'm not making an assumption, but oftentimes when I I someone comes to me that's feeling stuck, and and it it might be in you said in different parts of your lives, right? So somebody could be like doing great in their business, but aren't taking the right actions in their personal life to make themselves happy and to help their relationship, right? Or vice versa. Maybe they're they've got a fantastic family and they're struggling with money because they're not taking the actions that they need to there, or

Clean Your Glasses: A Powerful Leadership Lesson

SPEAKER_01 54:23

whatever it might be. We've all got different areas where we may be focusing, different areas where we may have blind spots or blocks. So I'm gonna share with you a kind of a crazy um story. So you see that I have glasses, I had 2020 vision until I was 42. I woke up one day and I couldn't see. I couldn't see, it was crazy, and so like I I really fought it, I'll tell you. My ego, I didn't want to wear the glasses and I fought it, so I would keep them off and I would squint, and then I would kind of get readers and I I kind of take them on and off. And I I would try to do everything everything I can to avoid getting the glasses that I wear all the time. But what happens when you're taking your glasses on and off, you know, all of a sudden you can't even see when you have them on, right? Because they've got they've got smudges, it's like it's a it's a mess. So so you have to clean the glasses, right? And so you you're like, okay, I'm gonna take the time, I'm gonna clean the glasses, and I've gotta put them on. Oh my gosh, this is so much better. Why didn't I do this an hour ago? Why was I, you know, this is us. This is us, right? We go through our lives with the smudges of self-doubt with with specks of someone else trying to tell us what they think is right for us. We go through, you know, dirt that is keeping us from seeing how amazing and beautiful and powerful and capable that we are. So I'm just gonna encourage you to clean the glasses. Nice, take the time to stop and look at who you really are and know that you can do this, whatever it is, because if you've thought of it, if you know it's a good idea, you have everything already within you that you need to be able to accomplish it. You just need to clean the glasses and believe it.

SPEAKER_04 56:29

Yeah, great stuff. How there I'll clean my glasses, clean my glasses, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:45

I get the same thing, you gotta wear them all the time. Yeah, I know. I got I got the the bifocals now, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 56:55

The all three parts, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we won't tell anybody how old we are, so that's okay. Something that comes to stage, but yeah, I'm learning that that's not necessarily true either. So it is what it is. But so all right, would you believe this hour is almost over? I can't. We've it flew by. It's awesome. It flew by. Tell

How to Connect with Heather Hansen O'Neill

SPEAKER_04 57:15

our audience how they can get in touch with you, how where they can find you. Um, if you have anything that you're offering right now for people who want to work with you, let's let's tell them how they can stay in touch with this beautiful woman we call Heather Hanson O'Neill, who has um who is a fireball.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

So thank you so much, Teresa. First of all, just thank you for being you and for inviting me on and for all the good work that you're doing. Uh, you really you are really making a difference. And for listeners, if you want to reach me, Heather Hanson O'Neill, anywhere, like heatherhansonil.com is my website, Heather Hanson O'Neill. You can reach out to me on LinkedIn. You can ask me. I'm an open book, so connect with me. Ask me any questions that you want. I'm happy to take the time with you. Facebook, wherever, Instagram, it's always Heather Hanson O'Neill. Um, and you know, I love to give things away. Okay. So um what I'll what I'll say for you today, for your listeners specifically, is if you mention Teresa that you saw this interview here, I am willing to give you a a free laser coaching session. And so that's a couple hundred dollars. So if you would like that, just send me an email at heather at heatherhandson'eil.com and say um Teresa or conversations that make a difference, and we will make that happen for you. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 58:48

What a generous gift. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That is amazing. And and for those of you who are listening, take her up on that. That is a beautiful, beautiful gift. Um, I I may even take you up on that myself. Yeah, it's a beautiful, beautiful gift. And I just want to say, oh my goodness, thank you for all that you are doing in the world. And I am so grateful that we reconnected at the event that um our our mutual friend Dennis Pitocco from Biz Catalyst 360 had um in Florida a few months ago. And by the way, Dennis wrote the forward for a daily gift of inspiration. Yeah, so I'm excited to share that with everybody. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to get that one. Yeah, that'd be awesome. And so um, so for all of you who are listening today, please, please, please get in touch with Heather Hansone now. She is a wealth of information. Her heart is huge. Yes, she's a fireball, but she she does encompass all the elements as we all do. We just have them in different quantities. Who knows? You may find yourself flying trapeze with her one day.

Be a Difference Maker This Week

SPEAKER_03 1:00:04

Who knows?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:05

Who knows? But between now and the next time we meet, I have one thing that I want everybody to know. You are a difference maker. The conversations that you have are the are the fire or the fuel for those making a difference. So my question to you is will this week, will the conversations that you're having make a difference in the lives of others? And on top of that, is it making a difference for you? I challenge you to make a difference in the lives of someone else. And at the same time, you will notice you make a difference in your own life. Until next time, have a good week.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:49

That brings us to the close of another episode of Conversations That Make a Difference with host Teresa Vellardi. We want to sincerely thank you for tuning in and sharing your time with us today. Our greatest hope is that today's discussion inspired your personal growth, encouraged you to share your unique gift, and gave you the courage to write your own magnificent story. If this message resonated with you, let's keep the conversation going. Take a moment to like, comment, and subscribe on YouTube and follow us on our Conversations That Make a Difference Facebook page. This will ensure you never miss a moment of inspiration. We air new episodes every Tuesday at 5 p.m. Eastern Time. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. It truly helps us reach and empower more people. Until next time, keep making a difference. We look forward to welcoming you back next Tuesday to our next conversation.