GROUP THERAPY (or Pet Peeves & Petty Problems)

This week, we welcome our friend Anna for what starts as a conversation about pet peeves and quickly turns into three adults swearing about soup spoons, grocery store displays, iPhones, cargo shorts, tipping screens, and why our cars think they know us better than we know ourselves.

Somewhere along the way we realize two things: we're getting older... and we're becoming the people who complain about everything. Join us as we embrace our inner curmudgeons and laugh our way through life's pettiest frustrations.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Check, check, check, check, check. Hello, is this on? Oh, we have to do our intro. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one, and expect to laugh.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

All right.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

That wasn't expect that.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

My name is Brett Williams.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

I am Lori Bornis, and we have a special guest, Anna Rapp, will be joining us. And Anna is part of, and we've discussed this before. Yeah. The Secret Society of Salad with the Chicken on top. Ah, yes. Or shortened to Secret Society. Yes, yes. We brought Anna in here for today's topic of pet peeves.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Pet peeves. Did that pop?

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Here, I'll do some ASMR.

unknown 0:41

We're going to talk about pet peeves. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

Well, you know, I will say something. You probably don't need to say anything for the rest of the I'm I'm just going to plan on sitting right back here.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

I'm only kidding. I've been very excited about this. And if we fill up our time, I think we should have a regular session with Anna. Yes. Where we invite Anna back and just talk about pet peeves on the regular. Because this could be a whole series.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

This could be. It could be.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Because I have a feeling, Anna.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Are you going to shut up so I can?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

I have a feeling your first pet peeve is that I don't shut up.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Well, you know, I I really gave this some thought because we we were supposed to do this, what, a couple of weeks ago? And then um, you know, sh shit happens in life. But anyway, I started thinking about pet peeves, and I don't think I really had many. Then I asked my husband. And he said, Oh yes, you do. You have plenty.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

You didn't realize that you have pet peeves? Oh, I do. I have many. But I've been keeping a list too.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

But what I discovered is the older you get, the peevier the pets get. Or the pettier the peeves get.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

I'm not really sure what I I like pettier the peeves.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

The pettier the peeves get. Because stuff that you could always just roll off your back, as you get older, they don't roll off so much. They stick right in there. They stick right in there, and you're like, what the? What the? You can swear. I really don't want to. Okay. Oh yes. You already did.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

You already did. No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Yes, you did. What did I say? You said shit. Oh, well, that doesn't count. You know, I I want to be the Nate Bargatzi of your expect to laugh show because I think Nate Bargatzi is one of those wonderful comedians who gets his point across without swearing. Well, let's see how long that lasts.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Anna, have you met you? I have met you have you met you. I know. Triple dog bag.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

But my friends will be listening to this, and well, of course, they know I do the same thing. Okay. But I started thinking about pet peefs on a very serious level. There are your amateur pet peeps, like your husband leaves the toilet seat down. Right. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

You know all about that, Lori.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Yeah, of course. And that's kind of like, okay, everybody complains about that. Put the toilet seat down after you use it. Then there's the traffic pet peeve. Okay, the guy that goes 20 miles slower in the left-hand lane. Yeah. And you're, you know, the road rage comes in. Well, those are those are those are amateur. They're amateur. Everybody has them. So I started thinking about real pet peeves. And it and I have to say you two are guilty of this pet peeve. I can't wait. Okay. Okay. So here it is. This is the big I'm going to start with the biggest one. Okay. Because I don't want to forget it. It's the iPhone user versus the Android user.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

That's not on us. Wait a minute. Wait. No, no, no. No, no, no. All right.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Let me finish. Do you want lunch with her or not?

SPEAKER_00 3:28

I was already informed that I'm paying. So if I can if I can make her run away, then I'm going to save some money.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Here's the thing that I really have a problem with. First of all, iPhone users. iPhoneers. Well, wait, which one are you? I'm an Android. Oh. Loser. Wait a minute. See? Need I say more? Need I say more? iPhoneers think Androiders are they live back in the, you know, the the old Victorian age.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

We don't think that you live in the Victorian age. We just think we're better.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Yes. Yes, you do. But let me tell you something about you iPhoners. This is what this is what really pisses me off.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

Okay, go.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

I, as an Android, or whatever, Androidian, will write Andromeda. Andro Androidian. I will send a text to you, iPhoneers, with a a description of whatever it is I'm talking about. The text is very long and involved and detailed. And you two write back liked. And you regurgitate the same shit that I just said to you. That's not on the text. Oh wait, stop it. Stop it. That wait a minute. I I said stop it. Okay. It's either I write all this stuff and you either like it or you love it or you emphasize it, which I don't understand what that really means. Dude, what are you saying? That, oh yeah, I agree with you, or it's it's stupid. Do you want words, not the little I want I want you to take the same amount of time? I want you to take the same amount of time that I took to write a a thoughtful, detailed text and not just write back, oh, I liked it. You don't even say I liked it. You just like it. See, the problem is we don't have that on our Android phone.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

That's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Okay. We don't have that on our our Android phone. Which is really or maybe we do, and I just haven't figured it out. Most likely I haven't figured it out. But no, I don't have it. I don't have it.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Can I ask you a follow-up question? Yeah, yeah. Why don't you have an iPhone?

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Because my Android does everything It doesn't. It does mostly give you an email. You know what? I can call you and you answer. You can text me and you can answer your emphasize with a heart, you know, or your life.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

But when I when I like it, when when I like something Lori writes, all it shows up is a heart on that. And this is Lori liked it. And that's all I need to know. For some reason, Android has this delivery.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Lazy. You're it's called lazy. I think you iPhoneers are lazy.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

I prefer good time editor.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

No, because I'll get a picture of your your dog in its Darth Vader Halloween costume, and I have to say how cute your dog is. And all you have to say is loved image. Loved image. Nobody has to comment. I have to comment more than you have to comment.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

And I have to take the time on you. I was gonna say it kind of sounds like a you problem, Anna, not an us problem. It's a pet peeve of my friends. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

But it's still a pet I didn't say it wasn't my problem, but it's a pet peeve of my iPhone friends. That's fair. Fair. It's it's it's a pet peeve of my iPhone friends. Okay. How many of your friends there are how many how many friends do you have?

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Almost 20.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

99% have um uh iPhones. The only one who doesn't is my daughter-in-law, who's a doctor. Oh. And she's very happy with her Android, and so am I. Because it does everything I want it to do, except for like, emphasize, love, and love image. It doesn't comment like that.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Well, let me try and airdrop you a file real quick. Oh, I can't. Because you have an Android.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

I forgot to warn you. Oh, no, you didn't have to warn me.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

I I already know me.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

I knew where this is going.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Lori, your turn. I want to know. Okay, we're let's go, let's just keep doing round robin. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Okay, so your pet peeve number one is iPhones versus Androids and the snobbery of the iPhone people towards the Androidians.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

All right.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Okay, we don't we listen and we don't judge. No, yeah, we'll lie. Liar.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I pet peeve of mine?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Pet peeve of mine is my car. I have a fairly new Kia Sorrento. I love it so much, but it I don't like the new cars because they want to do everything for you. They want to do your brights, they want to do your cruise control, they want to stop, you know, when you're no, I want to drive my own car. I don't need driver assistant steering wheel, but the biggest pet peeve, and this just happened to me, and it happened three times in one day, and it wasn't like I traveled a lot. I mean, Sanford isn't that far. It tells it dings, first of all, out of the blue. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Uh-huh. And it tells me, and I kid you not, with a picture of a cup of coffee. Yeah, I get that too. Take a coffee. Take a break. Take a coffee. Take a break. Yeah. You should take a coffee break.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

I had been on the road for 10 minutes. Ten minutes? Ten minutes.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

And it my car told me.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

You can't turn that signal that that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Oh my god, you're gonna need to show me how I turned it off.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Because I have a Kia as well. I have a Kia as well.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

And I just got a Kia Tellyride. And I love it. And I didn't find legitimately this morning. I sat in my driveway and played with the display in between like the speedometer and whatever. Because that thing gives me more information and that I don't want to know how many miles from the car and how fast I'm going. Yes, that's right. I don't need to know what direction I'm going. I don't need to know when my next maintenance is due.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah. Yes, you do. You should know. I have a sticker for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

I don't want to know like every moment while I'm driving.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

It really is um ridiculous how much my car wants to drive me. And uh even when, you know, as as far as um, I think when something happens and my s uh my fan will go down, like if I'm blasting hot air or something, my something happens and like a oh, I think maybe my GPS or whatever. It like will turn down my fan so I can hear my G. No, shut, stop it. Just stop it. Just let me let me just there is a setting.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

There is a setting to that, and I feel like I want to help you.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Please. In exchange for lunch. Okay, yeah. You owe this guy owes me food because this knucklehead bet me. Yeah. Nothing. And I doubled down. I doubled down on him. Doubled down on it. And I tried to save him. I tried to tell him, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

There's a very Maine-centric trivia question. So if you're not in Maine, this won't make sense. So quickly get it.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

In Maine, uh on Pain Payne Road, there, where the old Shaws was, it was bought by Hanniford. Right. Right. And everybody knows that because it's Cindy.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Not everybody doesn't know that. Right. So this is a good thing. Some of us don't leave town anymore.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Oh, I don't know why we were referencing that area, but he said, Oh, it's over by Shaw's. I said, You mean Hanniford? He goes, I mean yeah. And I mean to tell you, he doubled down and I he goes, You want to bet? I said, I certainly do. He goes, What do you want to bet? And I said, Next podcast we do, food is involved. Okay. Of course. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Yeah, well, here we are.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Here we are.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

I forgot my credit card.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Yeah. But you know, I do convenience. I do agree about the car thing. And you know what? I think it's just a precursor to all those driverless cars, which I'm going to be getting. I'm not getting one, and I will know what I will be.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah, but the Kia does that sort of like doing the late thing, which makes me very uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

I know, but I kind of like that. I kind of like that because I want to make sure that, you know, like that so you can text people back. And it'll also, it'll all so I don't mean to make out what picture. Let me emphasize with my heart. Let me throw in my other pet peeves. Liked, liked your pet peeve, loved your pet peeve. Heart. Can I emphasize your pet peeve? Yes, you can. Not not on your Android again. No, it does it does tell you when your like um a car is going by you.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

I mean a well, yeah, I enjoy that.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I enjoy the little red marks.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

You know, when there's a car in my blind spot. I'd like to. Some of that's okay. Some of that's okay. But not, you know, I I should be able to pick and choose. Like I just I want cruise control where like my old Kia, I could set the cruise control and then uh just drive and drive, and there's a car, and then I would turn it off, and then I would go around and turn it back on, it would get me back up to speed. Oh, yeah. Not this one. Oh no, a car ten lengths ahead of me, it starts to slow down. It does.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

What? I don't have that feature. It'll put the brakes on. It'll put the brakes on. It'll put the brakes on, which is great.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Listen, if I want an if I want a driverless car, I would buy driverless cars. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Yeah. I'm the driver. Right. Yeah. Hey, get with it, guys, because that's what's going to happen. I don't like this. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

I don't like this feature. I want a new one. All right. Brett, your pet peeve. Okay. Um let's segue it into the grocery store dialogue that we just had. Those little fucking racks in the aisles that clog up the aisle. It's already congested enough in the grocery store. Oh, wow. And they put these little displays of like, here's the pepperoni. I have a crazy idea. Put the goddamn pepperoni with the pepperoni. With the pepperoni section on the rack. All right. Here's some little Debbie snacks. Or here's goldfish. It's like, you have a goldfish section. Put them with the goldfish. And then when people shopping, it's room enough for two carts in the aisle. And then somebody coming the other way parks their carriage next to that rack. Yeah. So no one can get by. I just don't understand how we put a man on the moon and we can't fix this problem. Move the racks.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Move the racks.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Right? Am I wrong? No. Am I wrong? No, not wrong. You guys aren't speaking up. I need you to defend my pee.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Your peep is fine. Yeah. Peeve. Yeah. I said peeves.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

I would like to emphasize with two hearts that peeve is a that's a two-heart peeve.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

That's a legit, right? That's a universal. It's a legit. I feel the whole person's.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

The stinking display racks in the aisles. And the only people that would vote against me are the people who make those racks. That's right. Because they'd be out of work. That's right. Rack makers. The rack. And why can't they just What do you do for work? Well, you know, I specialize in manufacturing, producing, and installing annoying fucking racks in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store so you can't get by to get your fucking bread. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

You don't need any more bread. Excuse me? I did say that. In my own loud voice. I don't know why I said that. I'm so sorry. I do like it.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Yeah, but that's weird. And I think you looked at the I'm sorry, your microphone just turned off. We can't hear you.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

All right, round two.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Oh my god, round two. All right. Anna, you're up. Pet peeves.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

I actually have a list. Hold on.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Can I can I check my list?

SPEAKER_01 14:38

On your Android? I don't know. Can you?

SPEAKER_02 14:40

I don't know if that can be done on anything. Oh, love, love my list. Hold on. What was up look, pet peeves in my little. Like my GIFs?

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Do you get my little GIF pictures? I do. I do. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

You know what? I don't, I don't TikTok and I don't Instagram and I don't um GIF show.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Is it GIF? I thought it was GIF. I thought it was GIF and then I was corrected. I think it's GIF. Because GIF is like the peanut butter. J-I-F. Right, right, right. Not G. And well, right. And I was always pronouncing it GIF. G-I-F. Right. Because I'm like a graphic designer as well. And G I F to me looks like the word GIF. J-I-F looks like GIF. But then when I say GIF out loud, people like in my industry are like, no, it's JIF.

unknown 15:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

I'm like, well, then what's the peanut butter?

unknown 15:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Oh, okay. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Teddies.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

I think this might be one that could be immaturist, and everybody might think the same. I have a pet peeve for people who do not know how to hold their utensils, their forks, and their knives and their spoons. This is a fun one.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

I might be guilty. Okay, walk me back to the book.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Well, I I I do know someone like that. Um Are you married to him? Oh, I am. Oh no. Um poor TV. I am married. Well of your life. He said to me to take, can I come and just sit and listen? I'm like, no. You cannot.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

That's my pet peeve.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

So here's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Is when you say no.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

And and here's I I don't like people who hold a fork like it's a, you know, what a shovel. I don't know. But he said because he was in a band and he played uh drums, and that's how he held the drumstick. Oh, geez. So that's how he holds a fork. And I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

I don't buy that.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

I don't buy that. I think he's he's classed in the and I think he was raised in a barn. Well, I asked him, but he wasn't a bar. I think I'm not sure. Which is why I can't go out in the sun.

unknown 16:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Were you raised in a barn? Yes, you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

No. Never. I know. That was that was bad. That was very bad. So anyway, back to me. This is how I'm you know, I'm here. I know. Take advantage of my time here, because I am very busy. Um so I do have a problem with that. Or they cut their stake and they stab it and then they, you know, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Oh, let me ask you about uh utensils, because I've always been curious about this, because I think you're supposed to switch it. So when you cut, you have your fork in your left hand, your knife in your right, you go, and then you're supposed to switch hands.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Actually, the the European way is you if you cut with your fork on the left and your knife on the right, then you can eat with your Oh, then I'm just European. And that is just very more of a classy way to eat. Oh great. It really is. Well, because it's such a pain in the air.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

I hold my fork in my right hand and cut with my left hand. I can't do I can't do it. Are you right-handed? I'm right-handed.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Oh, so I put my fork in and I'll cut, and then I will eat with my left have my fork with my left hand. But you're right-handed. Yeah. But I but it all depends on what I'm eating. If I'm not cutting anything, I'm gonna eat with all right. Of course.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

You're you're edibly d ambidextrous. Like you can go to like I am. No, you are.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

You're the one. We have to cut with our right hand because it's our dominant hand. You can cut with your left hand.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

I can't Yeah, because I play guitar and like I and the left hand on the guitar does the more intricate finger. See, it'll go through the bigger.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Oh, yeah, me too, because I'm right-handed. But I can't cut with my left hand. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. You know, but I can't cut with my left hand. That that seems very talented. No. I mean, I know how to hold it. I didn't know. Yeah, no, I don't play guitar.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

But it is something that I see people who should supposedly have that kind of, you know, class about them and manners, and it just it drives me crazy. I've tried to change my husband in 25 years and it hasn't worked. So he holds it.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Talk me through that.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

He holds his fork like Well, he holds his fork instead of holding it like this. Right. He will hold it like Oh my god. He he holds it like this? Yeah, sometimes like that. It's awful. It's awful.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Okay, so it's a fist around the fork.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

It's a fist around the fork.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Okay, that's it. So like we just shovel it up.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

Sometimes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Sometimes instead of sometimes he'll hold it like this.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Yeah, like a like, yeah. Can you go get some utensils? There's a cafeteria down this. Can you go get some utensils?

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Yeah. Let's pause the show.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

But anyway, uh it it it should be like between your your these two fingers, your the middle finger and your um forefinger, or whatever you call it. Index finger. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

There you go.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

We'll practice at lunch today. Yeah, but he he'll photos four times. Sometimes he'll do it.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

That was the most boring two minutes of. Oh, it was not.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I thought it was fascinating.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Well, I think there might be a lot of people who don't know how to hold their utensils.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Okay. All right. You know, and so what do you do when he you know, you have three meals a day with this man?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

I've cut it down to to one.

unknown 19:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

I won't have breakfast with him and we don't do lunch. Oh, oh. He has soup for lunch and he holds the soup food. And first of all, the other thing that he does that really ticks me off is he uses he doesn't use the soup spoon, the larger spoon, he uses the small, like dessert coffee spoon. Okay, so do I so do I. Oh, you do?

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Okay, so here's the thing. Can I can I veer off for a second here on soup? So wrong. I can't eat soup. There's something wrong with me.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

I am too. It's a texture thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

No, no, no, no, no, no. I love soup.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Oh, I don't like things floating in liquid and putting that into my.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

I love soup so much, but a whole different story. I when I eat soup, oh, this is embarrassing. But it like dribbles down my chin. Every single spoonful. Really? I don't know what's what I'm doing wrong. Like I'm doing something really wrong.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

We're getting soup for lunch. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

I'm not getting soup. No soup for you. No soup for you. No soup for you. Soup for you. Actually, soup sounds great because it sounds cheap. You don't. Unless it's unless it's lobster stew. I decided. No, no, no. You said soup. You said soup, you didn't say stew.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

You didn't say chowder, you said soup. Okay, no bisque either. All right. No bisque. Bisque is always pre-human. I've got some Campbells in the cracking can.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

Lazy Susan.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Oh yeah. But he does. He'll have the soup with the baby spoon as opposed to the soup I like.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

I have to do the baby spoon too because I dribble like an idiot. I dribble like I I I truly think that there's something wrong with me. Like I can't eat soup. I don't know what it is. I will I you'll see.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

No, you have to put the whole spoon in your mouth. You just can't ladle it to someone.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

I guess I'm I don't know what you have to do. So I need some observers. I'm gonna get soup at lunch. Okay. And you people are gonna observe me.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Well, I have you know what I have on my iPhone is slow motion video. And I don't think you have this on an Android. And so we're gonna slow motion video. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Me eating soup. And we'll just observe so we can maybe take notes of it.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

It has to be like creamy soup, I got down Pat. Okay. But it has to be brothy soup. It dribbles. I'm a dribbling idiot. Can we just practice with water? Sure. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We could totally practice with water. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Then that way, if the blessed miracle does happen that you dribble, you don't have stakes. Oh you're so smart. Yeah, that's smart. That's smart. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Is it my turn for for a pet tease? Okay, okay. All right. Did I finish?

unknown 21:59

Apparently.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

I don't remember. Apparently I did. My pet peeve, one of many also, is uh mostly in the summer I wear these shorts, but it can happen uh with with any kind of pant. But I wear shorts that have like pockets on the sides. Like a cargo short. Kind of ish. Okay. Like not as really feminine. Lesbian-ish as that description. Although she can make it work. I can wear some cargo. But I'll be in my kitchen and my my uh pocket will catch on the knob of a cabinet and yank me back and open the cabinet door or open the cabinet drawer or open it. And I can go from mild manner Lori Vornis to uh raging lunatic.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Anna Rap in one second.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Yes. Yep. Mediterranean menopausal. It really sets me on fire when that happens because I think to myself, Lori, you're an adult. You can walk in your kitchen and not get hooked on these doors and cabins. Apparently not. Apparently I cannot. Okay. So that is a huge pet peeve about it.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

That's a stupid pet peeve because all you have to do is buy shorts without pockets on the side.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

I can't okay. Sold them up. No, hey, guys, this should be lesson number one about lesbians. Our pockets are our purse. Hold on, let me get my I I I love pockets. Let me get my notebook. Put this down. Pockets are our purse. Pockets. You don't see lesbians carrying purses. Pockets are our purse. So I can't go and buy pants without pockets. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

And the lipstick in mascara. Right. In the trash. I leave them right there. Where do you put yours, uh, Brett? Where do you put yours, Brett?

SPEAKER_00 23:53

I need some foundation for my uh head, obviously. So if you have any good makeup to it.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

My husband has the same thing with his cargo pants, but he's torn the whole pocket off. Holy crap. Okay, well, he's moving in that yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Oh, I thought you meant proactively, so this doesn't happen. He ripped off the pocket. You mean it was a casualty of war.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Usually after he goes to get the wrong soup spoon, it just gets caught on the cap.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. I have done the exact thing you're talking about on that door handle right there. It's the all the time.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

It's the long handle. It's not a round hand.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Yeah, it's it'll it's a but I don't lose my temper. Oh my god. Or his lipstick.

unknown 24:33

No.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Clearly. Clearly. Clearly. It's still alive and well.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Yeah, well, I don't know why. It sets me on fire. Lovely shade. Lovely shade on it. Sets me on fire. Okay, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

And then my my uh second one, and I think this will have to be our last one for the second. Wow, that was fast.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Yeah, you're definitely coming back. I saw your list.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Holy crap, that's huge. Tipping is out of control.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Oh my god. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Is that on your list? Okay. Tipping on. Lori will tip anything that breathes as long as it is actively respirating and trying to live.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

I agree. Yes, I am. I'm not sure if I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

I, on the other hand, if you if I pay for a pizza and I have to drive to get that pizza, and it is prepaid through the app, which they want you to do this through the app, and your job, I hand to God, this is what they do.

unknown 25:22

Right?

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yeah, they do. Put it on the counter.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yeah, no. Why do I tip for that? I don't think you should have to tip for that. I tip for everything. Because these poor bastards, you know, come on.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

But they're not they don't. I'm the poor bastard.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

unknown 25:33

No.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

I just spent $17 on a pizza. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I'm the poor bastard.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Pizzas are not cheap like they used to be. No, no. I mean, they're ridiculously expensive, actually. They really, really are. So what's your pet peeve with tipping? Well, with tipping.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Is it over tipping? I feel I think a lot of people are cheap tippers. Okay. I'm not a cheap tipper. I tip. When I tip, I tip really well. Over 20? Yes, usually. 20 to typically 25. 20 to 25. Okay. I think because and it all again, it still depends on service. And I've done some 15s here and there, but I don't know. Takeout or like car side to go? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Car side to go? All right, yeah. Because they're doing something. They got a big apple. You mean like in a McDonald's?

SPEAKER_00 26:13

No, like Applebee's, for example.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Okay. Oh, wait a minute. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

It's like, oh, what's Applebee's? Is that what the poor people eat? Is that what poor people eat? Do they have to be?

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Do you see the calorie tensile calories? It's what families go to. Families love. I stopped Applebee's when they put the calorie count next to stuff.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Oh, I thought that was awful. No, I just now just that totally changed why there was the price.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Yeah, well, it might it is the price, it is the price you pay for eating. I'm like, wow, that's a great deal. No, no, no. The price is wrong. 1,029? No, no, no, no. That is not a great deal. That's not a great deal. But I think tipping is um, you know, I I don't like when I go to someplace and they'll the automatically they'll just serve you and you have to, you know, do you want to put in a tip? It's gonna be a good idea. I played that one by ear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

We're gonna ask you a question on the next like what do you mean you're gonna ask me a question? Just if you want to ask me the question, ask me the question.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Yeah. I agree. Yeah, I don't mind a tip jar, and if if I have an extra buck, I'll I'll stick it in. But I don't want to automatically forget.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Well, they do, you know, the everybody has most companies and food places have that thing where they take your card and then they flip the screen around. Yeah, and you've got the you know 15, 20, 55, 85% chip, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah. And other. So I did uh pick up to go at like a house of pizza place. Yeah. And they flipped the screen and I thought, okay, custom. And I put in five and I hit enter. What I didn't realize is that you have to hit five, zero, zero. I wanted to tip five bucks, and I tipped five cents. That's no. You are Greek. No, that is back. I did. Yeah. Oh my God. I know because that's an insult. Oh yeah. Like five cents. That's a, you know, that's a pay you.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

That was a thing that you that's worse than leaving no tip.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Well, when you have when you have bad service, that's the thing that they used to do. Like just leave a couple of things. You leave a nickel or whatever. Right. Right. Right. That do it. It'll tell you. We always tip for I will say, even though my husband can't hold a fork correctly and uses the wrong spoon, he is almost like a too too big of a tipper.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

Really? Oh my gosh. I didn't I would not have guessed this thing.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

Oh no. He really, truly, really is a big tip. I'm like, why did you leave so much? Well, you know, they're working, they're hard. I'm like, Yeah, really. And which is nice. But we do base it on the service a little bit too. Absolutely. But even if it's mediocre service, we still I do the minimum.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

I hate when they come to the table at the end and it's just been crappy service. And then they realize in a moment I'm gonna ask them for a tip. When they leave the check, so how is everything? Oh my gosh. So my my pet monkey is doing this for you again. You know, and they just start making all the bullshit small talk because and it's just so transparent. It's like, so remember to tip me well because I didn't make eye contact with you until now.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Yeah. And there are others that are really they they just go above and beyond. Yes, you just and they're very sweet, and they're adorable.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Oh, I have to tell you one quick story, and I know we're going long, but I went to uh a place that had Wagyu uh beef. Oh yeah, which is a good stuff, which is like a home equity loan. Right. I've never had it because it's really expensive, and it said market price. So I asked this sweet, sweet waitress who was new. I said, How many ounces is the Wagyu beef? And she said, Oh, I don't know. Let me go check. And she was so adorable. And she came back and she said, I kid you.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

I can't wait.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Fifty ounces.

unknown 29:48

Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

We will we will eat all of Japan. I said you have a three and a half pound steak. She literally and you do that math fast.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

I'm with five people, right? Yeah, yeah. And we're all doing the Brett laugh, right? We are on the floor hysterical. She's serious. And she's she's looking at us like, what? No. And I said, honey, if it was a 50-ounce steak, it would be the size of this table. I said, I think you mean five ounces. Five ounces I can see. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, Oh, really? And we said, Yeah, I mean a 50-ounce Wagyu steak would cost probably $30,000. She goes, Oh, an auction.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

Sold that idiot go over there.

SPEAKER_03 30:48

To the lady with the dribble soup down her chest.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

Oh my god. That's a good ending. We're not gonna beat that. Oh my god. Anna, thank you for coming in and sharing a new madness. But I need to come back.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

I need to come back. Can you edit most of that?

unknown 31:04

Can you?

SPEAKER_00 31:04

All right, you've been listening to Expect to Laugh with Lori Bornes and Brett Williams.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

And guest star Anna Rick. Star.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

That's a big word.