FAVORITE FOODS (or Cheeseburgers, Chex Mix & Chuckles)

Food is the topic, but the conversation goes everywhere. Brett and Lori reminisce about childhood comfort foods, debate the perfect burger, rank movie snacks, and somehow end up discussing bologna cups, Kool-Aid, Chex Mix, and an irrational hatred of eggs. It's a deliciously random episode packed with nostalgia, questionable culinary choices, and the kind of conversations that happen when good friends grab a microphone. Warning: don't listen on an empty stomach.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

And coming in, here we go. Here we go. Three, two, one. Expect to laugh.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Oh, golly. Hey, guess what? Not getting any better with that. It's really not. Hi, and welcome to another episode of Expect to Laugh. I'm Lori Vortis.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

I'm Brett Williams.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

And today's topic is favorite foods.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

And I'm gonna have a very short list. What? I'm a much pickier eater than you are, but I'm anxious to hear your exciting food because I love to hear about people's food exploits, and I love watching baking and cooking shows.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Really? I'm s I'm shocked that you have a limited palate.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Okay. Well, there's something in particular that sparked why I wanted to talk about this. So I had a Friendsgiving, and during that time, one of the people there went around and asked everybody what's their favorite food. Or it was phrased to me as Back up.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

What's a Friendsgiving?

SPEAKER_01 1:00

What do you mean, what's a Friendsgiving?

SPEAKER_03 1:01

I saw your thing on Facebook. I'm intuitive enough to realize you were not in the same place at Friendsgiving. It was like you posed for a different photo. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

That's fast forward party. That was the fast forward party. That I understand you don't know. Oh, okay. Oh no. Friendsgiving was that like a swingers thing? No. Fast forward. You put all your kids. 30 seconds next. Kind of. I'll get to that. But first it was the Friendsgiving, which is just Thanksgiving with friends.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Oh, okay, got it. You've heard of that. I thought this was I thought this was the same event that I saw on your Facebook.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Although I did put it on Facebook, but this was back in Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Friendsgiving is just Thanksgiving with friends, not family. Exactly. Okay, great. For the orphans of the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

The Friends family. Okay, got it. During this get together, one of the participants went around and asked everybody what their favorite childhood memory food was.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

When he asked me this, the first thing that hit me is so I grew up in Idaho, uh, in the middle of nowhere on seven acres of land that my father thought would be really cool if every inch of that land had a tree or something that needed weeding and plant, you know. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

So a man of the earth.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

A man of the earth, and we were outside working potatoes all the time. Did you dig potatoes? Yeah. We didn't grow potatoes because we were surrounded by potato fields and we would just go in after they cultivated.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

I dug potatoes and I grew up in Maine.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Well, that's because that's the thing in Maine.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

No, no, no. I mean I grew up in Sanford. Sanford, Maine. What's really funny is where I built my house on like family land is on the land that used to be potato field. Like when I was a kid, I was digging potatoes where my house is now. Wow. Isn't that wild?

SPEAKER_01 2:46

That's really cool.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Yeah. Anyway, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Anyway, it's about me.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

I remember such a distinctive memory for me is like working really hard outside. I'm sweating and I'm hungry. And dad would be like, okay, guys, let's go in for a snack. And the snack would be French bread, like a loaf of French bread cut into slices with ketchup.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Oh. Oh. That is the oh. I thought you were going to be like olive oil with herbs.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Right, right, right, exactly. You know, great broiled.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

In Monument Square, David's has that bread pump.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Oh, the garlic knots. Yeah. No, that was the memory that popped up, so I said that out loud. I tell you this because he went around and he asked everybody. Because during the fast forward party going for the holidays, you go to uh different homes, you serve an appetizer and a drink, you sing to the Christmas tree, and you move on. When we got to Lincoln and Scott's house, he had prepared the answer that he asked everybody at Friendsgiving.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

So everybody had to have your tell me what the other ones were.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

One was meatloaf, his mom's meatloaf. One was pot roast, one was American chopped suey, creamed onions. Okay. One that was worse than the French bread with ketchup on top was Wonder Bread. So the cheapest white sliced bread you can buy, the kind you roll up in a ball and feed to ducks. Right.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

That's a great way to see it. You're exactly right.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

You know exactly what I'm talking about. A slice of that with mayonnaise and then sprinkled sugar on top. I kid you, I I couldn't try it. And then, you know, my illustrious French bread with ketchup, there were no baked cookies, there were little Debbie snacks. People were like, what the hell, Vornace? What's with bread with ketchup on top?

SPEAKER_03 4:45

And as an adult, I'm like, I love ketchup and I love bread. But I can't imagine those together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

And and as a kid, Brad, I can't I can't uh tell you enough. It would be as though my father said, Okay, guys, filet mignon. Oh, we'd come run. We would get so excited about bread with ketchup on top. And I started thinking he really did run a prison, you know? This is like that's like prison food, for God's sakes. I don't.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

That's so gross.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

It's so gross, right? And oh, with with with a gigantic.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Here's some toilet hooch to go in it.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Close.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid. A kid's version of toilet hooch. Toilet hooch. Okay, okay, wait, sidebar, sidebar. Speaking of Kool-Aid, I grew up on Kool-Aid. Yeah. You're still drinking it to this day. Oh, no. No, absolutely not. Okay. I mean, my all it is is sugar and water and food coloring.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

I was euphemistic. You were very literal in that. Okay, yeah, I agree. Never mind.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Not drinking that crap. But we drank so much Kool-Aid. I'm just remembering this stuff and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe we did this.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

We had the 70s and 80s were wild.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

We had in our basement, in our Boise Cascade home, we had a plastic trash can. What 35 gallon, you know. Yeah. Like not a huge one that you put your trash out in. Yeah. But like the middle one. Like a like a significant gallon. Probably a 30 gallon. 50 gallon. Whatever the kitchen size one is now. No, a little bit bigger than that. You know, a big round thing. Yeah. Filled with sugar.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

I thought you were gonna say filled with Kool-Aid. Like a Francia box. And you used to put it. And you used a but we would make Kool-Aid in a bag, put it inside a cardboard box to put a spigot in the box.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

We should have. Dude, we had a garbage can full of sugar just for making all the Kool-Aid we made. That is messed up, Lori. It's messed up, man.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

The science about sugar definitely did not come out.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

And I'm still in the 70s, no.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

No, this is definitely and you know, I'm not convinced that people didn't realize what sugar did, but it's just that you're just waiting for the official. Like I love Diet Coke. I know aspartame cannot be good. But they haven't released the study yet. And so until until they release that study, I'm gonna keep my head in the sand and pretend that it's an all-natural tea from Thailand.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

That can remove rust from nails.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

It's normal, right? What it does to mentose is totally normal, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:30

All right, all right. So let me ask you when you think about your childhood, what's a food that pops into your brain?

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Bologna cups.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Oh, fried.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

Microwave.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

That is the white trash thing.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

It was because I could make it on my own. Why didn't I just think of that?

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Why couldn't you make it on your own?

SPEAKER_03 7:53

I don't know. I just went into like past life regression. I haven't thought about a bologna cup in the microwave for maybe 40 years. All right. And and I'm only 38. So you would just have the 38.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

My ass. So you just would have a microwave.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

I feel like when I was not able to be served, I would I would throw a bologna cup into the microwave and it would curl up. Right. You just remember what I would eat with it, like mustard or something. I feel like there was it was definitely not ketchup.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Growing up, we would have for breakfast fried bologna, does the same thing, cups right up. Yeah. And then fill it with scrambled eggs.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

Okay. One of my things that will make me gag. Uh-oh. Eggs. Any kind of eggs. Yeah, I have a gag reflex.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Really?

SPEAKER_03 8:44

That is epic. All right. Like I can look at something gross. Like you should be around me. You should be around me when I have to empty trash.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Oh my god. You are a wussy.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

I'm not a wussie. It's a it's a genetic thing. Oh, okay. Sure. Because my son has it. My youngest son has it too. I recognized it in him as an infant. Like the same thing would happen. And like this can't be learned behavior.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

I have like a fear of throwing up. So I've thrown up. Ready for this? Two times in the last fifty years.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Are you serious? Yep.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Two times in the last fifty. That's why I'm like, I can literally do anything, eat anything, see anything.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

I do not do not get warm trash in the summer. Yes when I have to prep the trash to bring to the dump or to put out on Tuesday. It is really. Oh, if the weather is right and if the flies have discovered the barrel, there will be crawling maggots.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

What the hell kind of trash you got going on here? Don't you put them in bags?

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Yeah, you put it in bags, but then you put the bags in a barrel out back behind the garage, and then once a week you have to go get that. But there are breeding seasons of flies and the maggots. I'm like, Really? Like, and I have rubber gloves.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Have you okay? Well, like that I'm cool with. Have you actually ever thrown up?

SPEAKER_03 10:22

Um dry heaves. Yeah. Oh. I mean, this year. Like if I had if my stomach had not been empty, there would have been a show. Yeah. Wait. Yes. I also threw up on the side of the road about two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

What happened?

SPEAKER_03 10:37

Um, a medication I'm taking, like, said may cause nausea. And I'm like, please, whatever. I've never had. And I just continued normal, disregarded, like, oh, don't eat on an empty stomach, whatever. I'm like, don't take this. And I'm like, I'll be fine. And then it came over me. I'm like, oh my God. That warning is real. And I left my office to drive seven minutes home and I didn't make it. But I stopped on the side of the road at a newly minted nature preserve. Recently dedicated. I'm like, this is beautiful. Here, let me christen it.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

What kind? Excuse me, Jane, Jane, what kind of bird left that mess?

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Oh, that is the rare blue-footed booby. Red-crested tit mouse.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

It looks funny. It looks like there's McDonald's in there.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

That's weird. I'm like, okay. Shouldn't have done that. All right. What are your what are your eggs? Okay, when you say you filled a bologna cup with eggs, no.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Okay. I can't I can't believe you can't.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

I don't like having eggs. I love a good French toast. I love cake.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

That's how you can eat eggs.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

But I can't eat like an egg casserole. Deviled eggs? No. No, anything? Like if it has the word egg in it, egg nog. No, I can't. Wow. And it just makes me From a kid?

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Or is this a recent?

SPEAKER_03 12:07

I mean, I don't remember life not ever having diagonal.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

You are missing out. I mean, not recently, but you're missing out on a cheap protein alternative. I mean, currently you still have to take out a second mortgage phrase, but still.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

I was gonna be like, is it really cheap? Talk to me about that. Let's unpack your personal finances if you think eggs are cheap right now.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

No, they're your trust fund, baby. Yeah. They're cheaper than steak, and it's high protein. I can't believe wow, I I feel bad for you. I'm sorry that you don't like eggs.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

However, I love the rest of the breakfast. I have a shirt. My wife tell me a shirt this is bodied by bacon.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

That is a that is a woman who loves you. So when you go out for breakfast, is it like pancakes?

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Uh when I go out for breakfast, I love French toast. I also make a really good breakfast at home.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

And like I do you serve anybody eggs? Like, can you make eggs without gagging?

SPEAKER_03 13:06

I can make eggs without gagging. But the thought of like putting scrambled eggs into my mouth. You might as well say, here's here's a pile of dog shit. Poop poop. And here's a fork. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

By the way, P.S. Uh side note if your dog's poop looks like scrambled eggs, take him to the vet.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Do you have to? Like you can sell that.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

I I am shocked. I am uh uh floored.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

All right, but what's your all-time favorite meal now as an adult?

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Okay, so um I always ask people this question: You're in prison, you're gonna be put to death. What's your last meal? Mine would be. I already have this all thought out. In case I go to the phone.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

From a place or just like the food itself, or food prepared from a certain place?

SPEAKER_01 13:49

It doesn't have to be prepared by somebody in particular. It does have to be very good though. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, okay, gravy, corn, and for dessert, chocolate cake.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

You just described our Thanksgiving because we didn't have turkeys.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

What did you have? Chicken. You had uh like a roast chicken or fried chicken?

SPEAKER_03 14:11

Uh roast chicken. Oh, you said fried chicken? Uh yeah, chicken, my man.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

I mean, roast chicken is delightful, but if my last meal is not going to be a roast chicken, it's gonna be fried chicken.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

It is the driest bird.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

You're not alone. So what the gravy's for? That is what there's gravy for. That's the only reason they have gravy.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

That's the point. It's like if the food that you eat is so bad that you need to create another food to cover it up with, it's not a good food.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Okay, no, wait. You're a picky eater, so tell me everything you had for Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Everything that was on the table or everything I ate?

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Everything that was on the table and what you offer it.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Okay. I had mashed potatoes, I had chicken. No gravy? There was gravy, but I'm not a gravy guy. My god. But it was good, it was moist chicken. And I had a salad with like my sister makes a really good uh no, that was on the side. My sister makes a really good like pomegranate salad with like tangerines and walnut stuff like that. Yeah, I made the worst rolls this year.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Really? You made them?

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Yeah, the yeast was old.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

You actually baked rolls from scratch?

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Yes. I tried to do that and they didn't rise.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

The yeast little tiny hard brown rocks.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

They weren't as fluffy as they could be. Yeah, yeah. I've made better.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

This was not the I I'm impressed. Making bread is not, even if it's just rolls, it's not an easy task. So good for you.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Keep going. What else did I eat? That's not a lot of food yet. Hold on, hold on. Potatoes, chicken.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

I said potatoes, though. I said you've had you've got there was some squash. I did not eat the squash because it and no, in fact, nobody ate the squash. Like my wife made this like this thing with because there was so much food.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Okay, granted.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

She made this squash thing in a casserole dish with the casharole. Casserole. Casserole dish. And it was so good. And she had like marshmallows on top. Oh, gr oh, God. Yeah. Damn.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Hold on. Do you mean it was like melted marshmallows? I don't know. Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Do you mean sweet potatoes? Yeah, it was sweet potatoes, sorry. Not squashed. Okay. That that I've heard of.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

I can't talk to you right now. Um, and then uh but nobody wound up eating because we had so much food. All right. And nobody ate the cranberry sauce either.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

I I'm not a fan.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

I don't, I feel like cranberry sauce and the jellied stuff out of the can? Yes, but last year and this year, it's like untouched. And my mother-in-law says to my wife, hey, we should remember next year nobody ate the cranberry sauce. And what do you think we had on the table that nobody touched this year? Again.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Well, here's what you can do with cranberry sauce, but you can't do it because did you even have stuffing for Christ's sakes? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, stovetop.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

We made real stuffing and stovetop.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

And the stovetop went first.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Absolutely. That is one thing that is, I think, better than homemade is stovetop brand stuffing. Am I right? Am I right?

SPEAKER_01 17:17

I mean, you're not wrong. Right. I mean, it is pretty damn good. Although I had a stuffing at Friendsgiving that was out of this world with sausage and stuff in it. Anyway, what the hell was my point with this? I think it's a few. Nobody knows.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

I got distracted with this stuffing. Wait, what about my last meal? I want to talk about our last meals.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Okay, well, you don't mind fried chicken.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Fried chicken.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, and for dessert, a very, very moist chocolate cake with no frosting.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Who made chocolate cake in your life that you used to like some? Duncan. Duncan Hines.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

All right, great.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Love her.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Duncan. Him. Betty and Duncan both make good cakes.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

True. But Duncan.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

And their daughter little Debbie.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Hey, you know what? Do not forget about the forgotten Aunt Sara Lee.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

That's right. Aunt Sarah's coming over, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Right. No, that's Aunt Jemima.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

And then well, meanwhile, Uncle Ben is outside with like, we don't want rice. We're going for cake, Ben.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Okay, last meal, Brett.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Um this is not crazy, but it's my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Well, mine wasn't crazy.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

A delicious cheeseburger and steak fries.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

This is pretty much every time I see you, that's what you get.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

So you never know when you're gonna die. So I want to make every meal my last meal. You know what? That's awesome. Carpe diem. Robin Williams told me. Carpe dum sees the day.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Where's the best cheeseburger? I want to know personally. Because I don't eat a lot of cheeseburgers because I'm trying to be good. But when I do, I want it good.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

There's a place here in Maine, it has four locations called Batson River. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

I do that with you.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

And it is. Have you?

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

Don't want a bit of a big thing. Yeah, that's right. Okay. And they have a really great like smash burger because they eat like the cheese. It's like local beef, the cheese they put on, the bacon, all the things. Yeah. And um it's just a really delicious burger. That sounds so good. Yeah. That sounds so good. Anyway, best burger I've ever had was in New York, and I can't remember the place because every year I go down.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

So, in case you don't know, Brett is the artistic director of the Sanford Performing Arts Center, which is located in the Sanford High School, which we are in his office right now recording our fantastically successful.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

I hope you're both enjoying it.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Expect to laugh. Has anyone laughed? Expect it. Just us. Doesn't say we're gonna do it, but expect it.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Expect it. And it's more of a directed to ourselves, not to the listener. I go to New York every year, and I know the best burger I ever had was in New York, and I can't remember where it was. I just know it was like in there. I know what block it was in. Yeah. And every year I'm like, maybe this was it. Maybe this was it.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

And all I do is are you like in Times Square or nearly that area, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

I'm at Uh. You know where I go is at the hotel. No, I go to the I'm at the hotel. My conference is where the CEO of Health. Yeah, like United Healthcare. Oh yeah. And so that's where I am. Oh like right midtown. That's why it was so shocking because this is like a this high profile, very safe. Yeah. Everybody goes here and it was like, what?

SPEAKER_01 20:41

You know what I was surprised at? Um, I haven't been to New York in a while, but last time I went, I was in the Times Square area, and there's an Applebee's.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Oh yeah, right there.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Right there.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Yes. Applebee's all Sadly, it does really well.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Of course it does. It's packed because you're there.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Like who goes to New York and eats at Applebee's or Olive Garden.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Anyone with children. Wait, there's an Olive Garden too?

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Yes, like right at the confluence of 7th Avenue and Broadway.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

There's an Olive Garden?

SPEAKER_03 21:10

Yes. I always wonder how places can have a footprint in New York City. I know. And part of me believes that it's more not that they're going to make a profit there, but it's like a feather in their cap. Like, look at us, we have a place in in Times Square. And, you know, like all the other Olive Gardens in Idaho and Maine are paying for it, you know, by charging an extra two bucks for every meal. It's not cheap. Real estate. When I go to New York, it's wonderful because Sanford Performing Arts Center pays for my food.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

I'm sorry I had to go to six different hamburger places when I'm researching for a role. Wait, final question. Yeah. Favorite snack food. Go to on the couch, watching a movie. What are you grabbing?

SPEAKER_03 21:56

Smart food. What flavor? Uh cheddar, white cheddar, smart food. Okay, white cheddar smart food. I enjoy a good white cheddar smart food. Or no. No. Okay, take it back. Take back, sis. Homemade Chex Mix. My Chex Mix is the shit.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Okay, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

That's one of my favorite things on earth. Is it really? And I'm gonna need to try yours.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Will you make some and I'm gonna try yours because everybody makes some a little bit differently.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

No.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

No. No, I don't know. You don't make it. Okay, then I'm gonna make you some.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

I find it to be really hard to make.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Are you shitting it?

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Well, it's to make it good.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

It's check's mix.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

No! If you just put check smicks in it, you have a crap. Oh no, I have my own.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

That's right. I have my own. What are they?

SPEAKER_01 22:36

I don't if they're if they're pretzels that are small in circle, but I do have some pretzel sticks in there.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Sticks! Yes! Pie five me. And the thin ones. They're bigger diameter, those they don't mix well. Right. Okay. Honey roasted peanuts. Planters. They have to be planters, honey roasted peanuts.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Alright, you got a little sweet in there.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

A little bit more than sweet. I also have honey nut Cheerios. So there's a honey theme to mine.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Oh, see. And I do you put Worcester?

SPEAKER_03 23:06

Oh, yes. I put extra Worcestershire. Extra. And a little bit and extra butter. Yeah, they're like, oh, six tablespoons of butter. I'm like, okay, sticking a half.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Me know counts so good.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Six times two is twelve.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Oh, you know what my favorite part of Chex Mix?

SPEAKER_03 23:28

Eating it.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

The wheat. The wheat. You like the wheat.

SPEAKER_03 23:32

Those are my least favorite, but I put them in.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

They soak up the most stuff.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

No, corn does. Corn. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, the weak ones do.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

The dark brown weak ones soak up. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 23:43

That's my favorite though, is like the checks with the stuff. I will like if I can't have a good portion. If I can't go down for a good sitting where I've got five bowls, I will look into the tin. I will look on top to find the most saturated.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Perfect. Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

The most saturated one checks.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

So it's and do you cook it at like 225 or a channel? It would stir it every 15 minutes for an hour. All right. Yeah, okay. All right.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

And I do that while we watch Home Alone.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Oh. That's very sweet. All right. Well, listen, prove it. Absolutely. Even just a handful. You don't have to give me, you know, a gallon, but I'll take a gallon.

SPEAKER_03 24:21

I'm going to make Really?

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Okay. And I make really good checks. My dad last Christmas came up and he was searching around the kitchen. I'm like, what is he doing? And I didn't really think of it, you know? I'm like, what's and then he just looks sullen and he came over to the living room and he just looks at me. He goes, Where's is there any like, where's the crunchy candy munchie? I'm like, what? And he was if you know my dad. It's like that's not the way he talks at all. He was so sad. I'm like, oh, Chex Mix? He goes, yeah, that I don't have anymore. We ate it. He goes, Oh. So I made him a batch right on the spot. Because I'm amazing. I'm amazing. You are. And we had some leftover ingredients. So I just threw everything into a bowl. You're amazing. There we go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

You're amazing, even though you don't like eggs. All right. If you give me Chex Mix, do you will you eat chocolate chip cookies? I made the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever made in my entire life.

SPEAKER_03 25:16

I promise you I will eat chocolate chip cookies.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Shake on it. All right. Wait, you make.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

I made I made these things. It was from a recipe. There's some kind of Japanese thing that's in it with brown butter. I'm the proudest of these cookies of anything I've ever made. They're that good.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Okay, yes. And when are you making them for me?

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Oh, I've already made them. I froze some. So I'll unfreeze them and bring them.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Oh, gee, thanks. You're gonna give me a fucking frozen cookie.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

You know what? That fucking frozen cookie is gonna be better than any unfrozen fucking cookie you've ever eaten.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

We're out of time.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

All right.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

Thanks for wasting another half hour of your life with us. This has been Expect to Laugh. I'm Brett Williams.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

And I'm Lori Bortis.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

We'll do it again some other time.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Maybe you're not going to be a good one.