Lashing Out Podcast
Real people. Real stories. Unforgettable characters.
Hosted by a wife, equestrian, former police officer, and business owner, this podcast dives into conversations with the everyday people who make life anything but ordinary. From lifelong dreamers and blue-collar legends to entrepreneurs, first responders, and unforgettable personalities, every guest has a story worth telling.
Drawing on her unique life experiences, the host creates honest, engaging conversations that uncover the humor, hardships, triumphs, and unexpected twists that shape remarkable lives. These aren't celebrities or influencers—they're the real characters you meet in small towns, local businesses, barns, neighborhoods, and communities whose stories deserve to be heard.
If you love authentic conversations, fascinating people, and the kind of stories that remind you truth is often stranger than fiction, this is the podcast for you.
Lashing Out Podcast
Did You Have Beef And Broccoli For Lunch?
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Ari comes in for her lash fill and talks with Veronica after giving birth to her second baby. The girls talk about AI, being terrible at math, the female body after giving birth, childhood trauma, and their animals.
Hi guys, this is your girl Velo from the Lashing Out podcast. Thank you for joining us on another episode. I hope you enjoy it. But I was like, Bethany, while I'm pregnant. I'm sensitive to smells. I know you were so sensitive. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I was like, did you have beef and broccoli for lunch today? I can smell it.
SPEAKER_04So funny.
SPEAKER_02That's what made me take a test the first time because I was in Adams and I was like, I won't mean to get out of the store without thrying up all over everybody. Oh my god. Like, this is weird. Why do I feel like this? That's how you knew? That's how I thought to take a test because I was like, what is happening?
SPEAKER_01I could say that.
SPEAKER_03What gave you the idea to start a podcast? Well, I had done it before, and I we stopped doing it back in 2020. We did the vegan and the beast podcast. Okay. And it was me and my partner at the time from work. And she wanted to, well, we both wanted to. We just wanted to try it out. Because during that time, podcasting was just it was starting up. Yeah. It was just starting up. So I I thought we should just try it out. And this was before podcasts became like videos. Right. You know how you see that now on Facebook.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Instagram. Like they have all the podcasts' videos. So people told us we should do the videos because it would just be more people want to see it. Right. People want to see what you look like, what you're who you are, you have mannerisms and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So we had a lot of fun with it, but then um we COVID happened and we we were working crazy hours and we had to stop it. Like we tried to really keep up with the seasons, but we had to, you know, COVID between that and yeah, and it's like hard to probably at the time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It was it was a lot, so um, and we would record all like all the episodes in like sometimes in one day. So it was a lot of work. Yeah, you're just sitting there, you're just sitting there just tearing out all day long, and then you gotta go edit it and see. Yeah, it's a lot of work. People don't realize it. But I said, you know what, let me start it up. And actually, I went to my lash tech uh in Queens, and she was telling me, she said, Oh, you know, we're talking about it and we were talking about podcasting and stuff like that. And she said, you know what's so funny? She's like, I've been trying to do I wanted to do something that with that with like nails where people, she's like, Everybody tells me their crazy stories, like yeah, you know, and seeing if maybe they want to say it, or you know, they may not want to use their names or whatever, right? Right, they but they want to talk about whatever's going on, and and it's like a confessional almost, right? And I said, you know what? She's like, you could do it too with with the lashing. I'm sure. And I said, honestly, anybody could do it who's in the beauty industry. Because I mean you sit down in the chair and you're like, No, no, no, no, they have so many. I mean, you know, as a hairstylist, there's so many stories that they tell you, and some people like to just vent, and I get it. Yeah, I understand. Absolutely. So I said, you know what, let me start it up because she kind of put the idea in my head and I was like, you know what, let me start it up. Who was the vegan and who was the beast? I was the beast because I was like, I don't think you're vegan. No, I'm definitely not vegan. I don't think I don't think she's vegan anymore. I think at the time she was because she had um she had an autoimmune disease, and so she was very careful about what she ate and stuff like that. So it was it was a lot of talk about that, but also just like girl talk and everything like that. But um, but it was just it was fun, and I kind of was like, you know what, let me just try it out with my clients because we talk about everything, so but I love that, yeah. So I thought that would be fun to do, and also like not just my clients, but like I can talk just myself too, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I saw you posted yeah um the other day about soccer. I was like, oh cute. This is gonna be like your thing now. I like it.
SPEAKER_03Soccer is uh it's coming to an end, but yeah, I'm sure it's just it's been driving everybody crazy at the lounge.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm sure. So my husband's been putting bets on. Really? I don't I he I've never heard him say the word soccer in his entire life, and now he's like, I want so and so to wait. I'm like, all right, whatever.
SPEAKER_03I know, you know what's so crazy. Um, my husband was telling me this crazy thing that so like you know how AI people are using AI to bet, right? Okay. So why have to be like what what team right? Like and what team is likely to win, and this and that, right? So my husband was telling me something really crazy that I didn't even think about with AI. Um, it can pretty much tell you anything, like AI, right? Yeah, but when it comes to gambling, it's the one thing that you cannot trust AI with because it cannot predict it. It cannot predict the outcome. So apparently he was saying that somebody was gambling. I don't know if it was a soccer game. It might not have been a soccer game, but let's just, for example, use it. Somebody bet like, I don't know, a shit ton of money on like a team, on like an let's say, like, for example, Argentina. Argentina's known to be a great a great team, they're they're likely to to win, right? A game. And so somebody, let's say they bet on Argentina because they have, you know, the the likelihood is the the odds are very are are high for them to win. And AI will tell you, okay, this is the team to to uh bet on for the day.
SPEAKER_02Don't they also bet on like like a goal? I know with with like football, yeah. It's like if this person gets a pass at this point, or you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03Right. I maybe it wasn't soccer, maybe it was football now that I'm thinking about it. But anyways, somebody put a bet on on a team, and they were supposed to win, and their main player that day ends up breaking like their leg. And how so their odds like AI wouldn't know that, right? You know, and so like that is the one thing that they're saying that you cannot use AI for because it cannot predict human you know what humans are doing on a daily basis, yeah, you know, so I I thought that was kind of funny because I said, wow, we use AI for everything now.
SPEAKER_02I know it's so hard to like I try not to use it, but it's a nice thing to like have a conversation, especially with like the kids, where I'm like, all right, well, if he's doing this and he's doing that, and da-da-da, what do you think I should do? What's it, you know?
SPEAKER_03It's so hard. It's hard, and it's also, you know, I didn't know either that AI uses so water. I know. I had no idea until another one of my clients told me about it that it uses a lot of water, and then like how bad that is for I don't know why we are using water to cool it. I I guess it heats up. Yeah. They say every time you ask it, it's using all that water. Which is really crazy because I also saw uh like another whoever the guy who created AI or Chad GBT or whatever, he he literally was like, Okay, we have to figure out what we're gonna do with the people whose jobs AI is gonna take over. Oh god. Which that's like that's crazy. That's a crazy thing to say.
SPEAKER_02Not ours, though. I know there's no way they could take our jobs. Well, yeah. Like how? They can't. They can't. It's too it's that and blue collar workers.
SPEAKER_03They cannot take those jobs. And that's like what makes the world go round. And I've been saying this for a while. It's like blue-collar workers are gonna be our next millionaires. Yeah, oh yeah. It's not gonna be the finance.
SPEAKER_02I mean, that's how it should be, I think. It's like they're putting the actual work in.
SPEAKER_03And they're the ones making the roads, yeah.
SPEAKER_02The electric to go to your freaking the buildings that you're gonna sit in and push the papers, you know.
SPEAKER_03Right. I know it's just yeah, it's crazy when you think about it. Because I can't see I I can't see it, but I can at the same time, you know. See what? That people are gonna lose their jobs. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, like what's it like data processing? First of all, what is that? Like what are they like sitting there like reading a thing and being like, okay, that's correct. Check like what does that mean data processing, and why is a computer not doing it? Like, why are you paying somebody to do that?
SPEAKER_03Right. You know, and and I mean the working from home also changed like a whole yeah, definitely the whole the whole game too. The whole corporate life. Yeah, people working from home. It actually killed a lot of businesses because uh if people are working from home, they're not going, you know, they're not going out to lunch during their lunchtime to the to the deli, you know what I'm saying? So like it you they lost a lot from doing that too.
SPEAKER_04But it's all about saving money, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. But I um I definitely I can see that. I don't want to see it, but I can't.
SPEAKER_02I know. Chat GPT just like I got a notification. Oh, you know, you're I forgot what they called it, but it's like uh like Siri, so now you can like talk to them if they have a voice.
SPEAKER_03Which is so bad. I don't talk to any Siri. I feel so weird.
SPEAKER_02I feel like everything is hey, you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know why, but I always feel that she's a possible spy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she probably is. Like I just hey Gary, how many cups are in and out, you know, like right?
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. That's so funny.
SPEAKER_02I probably should use her for that series at a time or whatever, you know.
SPEAKER_03How many cups are in that are in whatever you know that I was never good at that? Um, yeah, neither am I.
SPEAKER_02Actually, I would no, that's not true because I can do grams to ounces for hair color and stuff. But when it comes to like, what did I do? It was like 18 plus 43 or something, and I was like, Oh I need a cop a calculator. I was like, oh my god, I'm embarrassed.
SPEAKER_03I will forever need a calculator and I don't care because I am terrible at math. I was never good at it. Yeah, me too. I literally cannot do math in my head. Nope. That's down my fingers. I use my fingers, I use a calculator, and please do not embarrass me by asking me why I can't do it. Because I will straight up say, I need a calculator.
SPEAKER_02Are you good at spelling?
SPEAKER_03Excellent at spelling.
SPEAKER_02That's so there's so many people. I feel like you're either good at math or you can you're good at words. There's no in between. Oh, you know what? I never even thought about it that way.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm really good at spelling. Me too. I actually I I want to do like a spelling bee.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, I I would be a part of your spelling bee. I would love to do it just so I can have like the yeah, it is spelling bee.
SPEAKER_03Get the satisfaction of where of of winning a spelling bee.
SPEAKER_02Just showing the world that I know how to spell. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That is one thing. I I didn't even think about that. I am good at spelling. Is your husband good at math? Awesome. Horrible spelling. Spelling, he he'll sometimes ask me, Hey, how do you spell this? So I don't know if he's like terrible, but he he will ask me. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_02But when it comes to math, it just maybe it's a like male, female brain thing. Probably. I think it is. It's the same. Like, I've come across a lot of people that it's like, oh, my husband's really good at math, and we can't spell for shit. No, for sure, my husband's really good at math.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like and sometimes he'll he'll do everything, or you know what he's really like, he's really good at measurements, you know, feet and inches. I cannot tell you what feet is, I cannot tell you what inches is. I have no idea when you tell me, oh, it's 10 feet away. I have no idea what that means. Right.
SPEAKER_02I just started using like because I'm nosy as hell, and I'm like, oh, look at this person. And instead of going like this, I go, oh, it's like May 11 o'clock. Right. And he's like, for that's another thing. I obviously know how to tell time on the clock, but it takes me a second. I have to count, and then I get embarrassed, and then I can't do it, and I'm like, where's my phone? Where's my military time?
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. No, military time, that's a no, and I have to actually count on my fingers. Yeah, no. And when I was a cop, we did everything on military time, and I could just I would just be like, I don't after 1600 hours after that, I could tell you I have no idea what the rest is. I would have to actually count.
SPEAKER_02Because what's that 4 p.m.? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that the only reason why I knew it is because that's when I would leave. That's funny. Or when that's so funny. So they count, they did everything in military time, and I just after if I was doing overtime past 1600 hours. Uh shit.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what how many hours is it past 1600 hours? Because then I know.
SPEAKER_03I just I would not know. I just wouldn't, I'd have to still use my fingers. And um, and I just and what another thing is we have, you know, they gave us a work phone, obviously. So we don't use your personal. And out of the 10 years that I worked for them, I never memorized my work phone number. Oh, that's so funny. You always have to look it up. I always had to look it up, and it was always so embarrassing when you have like a supervisor ask you for the phone number, and it's just like it's just another way of me saying I did not give a shit. Right, absolutely. I don't give a shit if you contact me or not. It's funny. It's like, please, actually, please do not contact me. That's why I don't know the number. Right. That's so funny. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It was the same number forever. It was a girl, it was the same number forever.
SPEAKER_03My whole career. I think at the end I may have learned, not not even, because I don't even remember. The last four digits. Right, the last four digits.
SPEAKER_02That's it. That's really funny.
SPEAKER_03But I could not. It's just it was another thing to be remembering.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and I just I'm not good with remembering things. I know. Just not good.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I tried, I really did. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_02It's so funny with the kids, like, especially with the little babies, you have to remember so much. When did they poop? When did they do this? Like, and then oh my god, we took the baby on Friday to get circumcised. Oh my god, I will regret it for the rest of my life. Right. I feel like this is a karmic debt on my soul that I cut off pieces of my children. I hate it so much. But you know what? I let the people with the penises make decisions about the penises.
SPEAKER_03Well, they say it's like a hygienic thing, but I think that it's an American thing, right?
SPEAKER_02But like, okay, you don't you don't want to brush your teeth, so let's take your all your teeth out. Right. You know, like that's how I see it. But again, I don't have a penis, so I didn't make the decision about it. I let my husband do that, and you made the wrong one. So but then with that, it's like like you have to remember you gotta put Vaseline. When was the last time you pooped? Did he have a wet diaper? Is this like how does it heal it?
SPEAKER_03You know, so yeah, like what is when when that happens, like what do you have to look out for now? You have to for the baby.
SPEAKER_02I mean, just regular signs of like him being super uncomfortable or like a fever, if there's like any yellow or like yucky discharge looking around it, right? There's redness, we have to put Vaseline, so it's like before, and I keep the NICU schedule, so I change and then I feed. Okay, so I have to have fib, burp cloth, diaper, vaseline, wipes, change of clothes, big like it's like, oh my fucking god, there's all the things to remember. And then my husband, he's you know, he does when I when he's home, he does a lot of that, and then I'm like, Did you remember this? Did you remember that? And he's like, Shut the fuck up. I'm like, Well, did you remember it? You know, right. I know so annoying. And then I get annoyed at four o'clock in the morning where I'm like, Did you put the Vaseline? He's like, I'm working on it, you know.
SPEAKER_03Right, it's a teamwork effort.
SPEAKER_02And then our stairs are so loud, so it's like we try not to go up and down the stairs while the babies are sleeping. Do they stay asleep? Oh, yeah. And it's like, who left that downstairs? Because whoever it is is getting hung out the window by their ankles, you know. Right.
SPEAKER_03But I love that I I I love that though. Like, I mean, you're the mom, right? So you you're remembering everything. So it's like your child, you know. Yeah, I mean, and this is your second time doing this, so like I think you've got it downpacked at this point of the game. Right.
SPEAKER_02You know, so I know, and with my first, like, I was like, this time they're like, Yeah, how is he with this? I'm like, I don't know, like he does it, I don't know when, but I know that he does it, you know.
SPEAKER_03Well, I feel like it it with the first baby, it's always it's always scary. It's right. I I think it that's that would be normal for any woman and be just really scary.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um but yeah, I feel like any any any first time mom, I can't even imagine what it's like the first couple of months after. I feel like I would be like, oh my god, what am I doing with this person, this baby?
SPEAKER_02And it's like just don't kill it, but it's so easy to kill, like it's so easy to just let it die. But you, you know, obviously, like it's dependent on you, it's so dependent on you, and you have like primal instincts, like keep the thing alive. Like it cries because it's like an alarm system. Like, if you don't feed me, I'm gonna die, you know. Right, your boobs hurt because it's like you gotta feed the baby so it doesn't die, you know. Oh my god, have you been breastfeeding? I'm pumping. Oh, pumping, right? Yeah, which is breastfeeding with extra work. Um it's extra work? Yeah, because when you're breastfeeding, all you have to do is put the kid on your boob. Right. When you're pumping, you gotta clean the parts, you gotta set time aside to pump because you can't hold the baby while you're pumping. Gotta make sure the thing is charged, you know. And you have to make sure you actually do it because you actually do it, and then you have to pour it, and then you gotta store it, and then you gotta, you know, keep track of all the milk in the fridge and all the freezer.
unknownUgh.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And you just do you not want the baby to latch onto you, or if he just doesn't, or it's just a lot of weight, or is it painful?
SPEAKER_02No, I had him latch, he lost weight. I I latched him for like a solid two days, and he lost a good amount of weight. Why? And then he needed uh because it's a little, it's more work, like a bottle that just drips out, so it's right. Oh, I see what you're saying. But he has to kind of work to get it out um when you're nursing. But he was also on because he was a preemie, they had like they basically added protein right like for the previous calories, yeah, into the milk. So I had to mix it anyway and bottle feed him. Right. So and then I was like, I don't I'm gonna I don't have time to like do this all. I just can do what I know, right? I know pumping.
SPEAKER_01I did it with Jack, so I mean, yeah, you might as well stay to what you yeah, what you know works for you and the baby, and right be comfortable.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I just remember my mom saying that it was so painful, it's like the most painful thing ever.
SPEAKER_02So the first time around I got it, but it wasn't as bad this time. It's something called demur. And it's when the second your milk starts coming out, your oxytocin tanks. So it's like for me, it's rage. Like the second my pumps go on, you know, when you're flossing your teeth and you cut yourself, like you cut your gums, and you just want to dig your whole tooth out? That's what it feels like inside my entire body. Oh and it's just the hormones. Yeah. So that's how do your hormones feel now?
SPEAKER_03That's really the biggest thing that like do you feel it different or um.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I definitely feel like I'm a different human, like physically and mentally. But like as far as like the hormones affecting me in my everyday, that's the that's the one that does like everything else is kind of leveled out. Okay. But when I start pumping, does it like fuck you up? Yeah, I want to like like you get mad. Yeah, I get so mad. Really? I get so mad. Like I actually want it, because it's the oxytocin tank. When you're I was reading about it the other day. Cause when you release the milk, I think you need the oxytocin to release for your brain to send signals to like let it out. Right. And then it's just some women it's like sadness, but with the first one, I had it with sadness, but it kind of went away when you got out of the NICU. Right. Like the second I'd start pumping it like, right. Oh my god. But with this one, it's it's rage. Really? Yeah, like I want to like hit things. That's so strange to me.
SPEAKER_03But it's just so weird how the body and the mind work, right? Two two separate things. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's wild. And you're just like rage.
SPEAKER_02You're milking yourself and you're just angry. I know.
SPEAKER_03I don't mean to laugh because that's but just so it's such a crazy thought.
SPEAKER_02It's probably so funny to like if someone was a fly-in-law, because then I have like the two little kids. Like I was driving and I was pumping, and Tommy was screaming. Jack was like, and I I can't like let it out because then the kids are like, What the fuck is mom doing? I'm scared. Right. So I just like clenched and I thought I hurt my like I thought I blew up my diaphragm. Oh my god. Because of how hard I was like, oh, you know. So you're literally holding it in your hand. Yeah, I'm like squeezing the steering wheel, just shaking, like and you're pumping. And I'm pumping, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And the kids are screaming.
SPEAKER_02The kids are screaming, I'm pumping, I'm driving. Like it's 98 degrees outside. It was miserable. It was horrible.
SPEAKER_03You know, that is so you know what? That just shows how much women like can stand. You know what I mean? Like we can we can literally stand anything. Yeah, seriously. Like physical. You know?
SPEAKER_02That's why I hate when like the argument of like men are stronger than women. I'm like, okay, physically, like go pick something up. Like physically, yes. But not even physically, it's like like that's my body. Like I it's it's a physical heat. It's I'm physically milking myself, it's physically depleting my hormones. Like, go lift something heavy, go pick something up, you know. And I think of that commercial, it's like I pick things up, I put things down, go do that, right? Like that's what we need you for, you know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, everyone has a role, right? Like we've we've always spoken about this, like everyone just has a role, and we the men do what the men do, and the women are doing what the women do, and like that is just I mean, that's a crazy just the what you just said is crazy. Like you're you're pumping, it's hot, yeah, your kids are screaming, and you're feeling rage because you're pumping. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, really wild. But it just shows you how how resilient women can be, especially when it comes to their kids.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Like the pressure, right?
SPEAKER_03You know, it's just but I I I've never heard of that. Somebody feeling rage while they're pumping. Yeah. Like that, I mean, I'm sure that's normal. I'm sure that's not like a normal thing.
SPEAKER_02But someone more like I've heard, but yeah, no, I haven't heard that. Yeah, you don't, you're not experiencing that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um, because I've heard I had a friend who after she had a baby, she was pumping, and not only was she pumping, but she was no, she was breastfeeding, not pumping. And I mean, right after she looked amazing, and I was like, wow, you lost weight immediately. Yep. And it was because she had been breastfeeding. And I said, I didn't realize that you lose weight when you're breastfeeding.
SPEAKER_02If you think about it, where is the milk coming from? Like your own body, right? You know, so it's like if you're not, if you're like they say eating for two when you're pregnant, if you're not still eating for two while you're breastfeeding, right? The milk, like your body's gonna decide to take your intake and contribute it to the milk.
SPEAKER_03Right. She and she was, I mean, she was one of those women that was like, Oh, I'm doing great, you know, and I was like, Oh my god, she must be really happy. Yeah, and I mean she looked great, but I mean, even now she still looks great. Yeah, but she has she has four kids now, but four, yeah, four kids.
SPEAKER_04And she yeah, big family.
SPEAKER_03And um, but I just remember that that specific time that she had her baby, and I was like, oh my god, she's she is a Wonder Woman over here. But you are too, just like that scenario. I think I don't know how I would deal with that.
SPEAKER_02It feels rage, it really just feels like like, and it's like physically on my nipples. It feels like when you're flossing and you just want to put the whole thing down your jaw, you know?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know what my mom said that when she was breastfeeding me, she said the same thing that she described it in that sense, she said she would cry a lot, yeah, because I would latch on and she knew it was gonna be painful. Right. So it's not easy, yeah, for like the rest of the time that she's feeding time, you know.
SPEAKER_02And that's another reason why I feel like we don't like as a society, I feel like we don't um give credit where credit's due because women just fucking do it. Like your mom's like, I know this is gonna be painful, but I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_01You know, very just very resilient, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, also during that time, I feel I could totally see my grandma at the time being like, you need to do this right now for your for your baby. Like don't even try to play yourself right now. You better do this.
SPEAKER_02That's good. You need you know, I feel like now, currently, it's oh well, you can just feed them formula, it's okay. It's like it is okay, like it's fine, but well, I came up with an analogy for breastfeeding because like you it's fine, it is fine. Is it the best? No, right, you know, like you can't you can eat, you can drink like sour milk. Is it good for you? Probably not, you know, right, right. So it's like that sense, and I feel like right now, instead of being like pillars for mothers and women, it's like it's okay. You can just, you know, instead of like encouraging them to continue even though it's hard, right? It's like it's okay, you can quit, it's fine, you don't have to do that.
SPEAKER_03It's almost like it's okay for them to be lazy in a sense, yeah, you know, yeah, or and I think a lot of the conversations that I hear is because of post-traumatic, not post-traumatic stress.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and instead of like giving you know moms, like just one example is more time off so that they can they can actually breastfeed, like my tattoo artist or the woman that owns the shop, she just had a baby and she can't get her baby on a bottle. So she's like, I can't really come back to work. Or she, yeah, she was asking her, you know, clients, how would you feel if I had to stop and breastfeed? No, go for it. Nobody should ever care that you have to stop to take care of your child. You know what I'm saying? Right. So it's like situations like that, or you know, a mom should just just she should just focus on feeding her child, just keeping the thing alive. You shouldn't have to focus on the dishes, the laundry, feeding anybody else from the house, working, money, nothing. Right. You outsource those jobs to your partner. You know?
SPEAKER_03Right. It's crazy how how I I mean we have a different way of doing things now with the childbearing, I think, with women and women being in the workforce, and it's totally different. And you know, we always talk about that, and how for you you want to have a big family, you want to have kids, yeah, you you that's what that's what you love, and that's what you wanted to do, and you did it, and you're happy with your family, and right, and and that's I think that's so rewarding to to do, you know. But uh I also feel that now, like the young girls, that's not what their goals are, and that wasn't your choice either.
SPEAKER_02That wasn't the path you wanted to go down either. So it's like all about what you want your life to look like.
SPEAKER_03I think the younger women now are I don't know. I'm I'm seeing different things now on Instagram. There, I I was watching this Lady saying like she was crying, she had to have been like 50 years old. I don't know. She was crying and she was saying, Oh, to all the women that just wanted to start families, like education is so much more is is important. Families important too, but you need to be educated as well because right now she's she's crying and saying how she had to how she had to sit like during dinner with her kids, her kids, um her kids' parents, the her kids' friends' parents, okay, right? And they went out to dinner and how she felt like because she wasn't educated, she couldn't have these conversations and like worldly conversations, right? And she was making a point that being a mom, yes, it is, but it's it's also you want to be educated and have your own independence as well, of course. And I I mean I I get that to a degree, right?
SPEAKER_02And it's different than everybody, yeah. Like some people just don't have that. Like, I actually we've been I've been thinking about this a lot right now because my sister's going away to college, and just like how my mom is, like how the dynamic is with how she is with my sister, how she's with me. Like, my mom was very much like you have to go to school, you have to my mom was the type of mom that said, I want your life to look exactly like this. And if it doesn't look the way I want it to look, I feel like you're unsuccessful, which isn't the truth, right? You know, like the goal is for your kids to be happy and healthy, no matter what that looks like for them. But it's funny because my sister is doing the path that my mom wanted me to go down, right? And it's just so interesting to look at because my mom asked me, I was getting tattooed, and it was the first time I was away from the babies for a couple hours, and she's like, Isn't it nice? And I was like, No, it's a little nice to like just sit down and not have to be running around. And there's a big age gap between my sister and I, and two of us do you regret everything you did to me while I had babies? And I was like, um, I was 12. Right. Like, I don't know what I could have done. Like, I would I'm not your husband, like it's not like I should have been. Yeah, it's not on me. I was just a kid, and I said that to her, but so then days after she in front of my so I moved out when I was 16 with my now husband, right? And like into his house, and she asked us all at dinner, like, do you regret the path that you took? Like not going away to school, not having this like big career, like not like doing like having the boyfriend for your entire this the one guy your entire life. And I'm like, she first of all, she asked me in front of him, and I'm like, that's so disrespectful. Yeah, that's really like I know, no, not at all. He's the best decision that I ever made, and my life looks the way it looks because he's in it, and that's like the best decision I ever made. But like it's not just because I made I went a different path than my sister's going, doesn't make either path less yeah, less successful, right? And that's the word she said, like she said she wishes she could have gone to school and been more successful. And I'm like, Mom, look at you, like you have you have a husband, you have kids, like you have a roof over your head, you have food on the table, you're entire you have grandkids, like you have everything, you have a beautiful home. Like, what else do you mean? What do you mean you're not successful? You know, right.
SPEAKER_03I think success is also a different definition for everybody, right? Absolutely, and I think that's what you're trying to get at. It's like it looks different for everybody, it looks different for everybody, and like you it's whatever you make it out to be, really. You know, and you only live once, so this is it, right? Like you only go around the park, yeah, around the park once, as they say.
SPEAKER_02That's the thing that woman that you said online, like educated. Like, I'm sure she knows her being a mom, I'm sure she knows so many things that these people can't even wrap their brains around, right? And vice versa. Like the fact she said I can't sit there and have the conversation. Okay, you don't need like you as an individual didn't need to. You don't need to, right? You know this, and that's fine. That's enough, right?
SPEAKER_03You know, I I just there's so much pressure in in for women, yeah, with parenting styles and different things, and oh my god, I know, you know, like it's so much different, just different pressures. I just know when I was growing up, and I like I told you before how I grew up, my you know, my mom wasn't always there, like she had to work, right?
SPEAKER_02You know, and which my aunt had to pros and cons, you know, it's like you had a uh role model of a hardworking mother, but then you also didn't see her as much, you know.
SPEAKER_03So it's like I don't blame her for that, you know what I mean? Like I it was survival of the fittest at that point, you know. She was trying to keep me alive, you know. And you do what you have to, right? And and that's like I I never faulted her for that for for not spending as much time with me. I do not fault her at all for that. I I always think you know what she did the best that she could. I didn't turn out bad at all, even though growing up it was really hard because you know, my family the way I saw it is like I was always the bad kid, I was always the one doing something bad, and it's like I was not doing anything bad, right? You know, right? What were the things that like were bad? I don't know why I remember this specifically. My mom oh my god, this is so funny. I don't know why I remember this, but I know that one Christmas my mom was was I must have been like 12. And my mom we opened up gifts and stuff like that, and I was excited about all the gifts that I had gotten, even though um, you know, we didn't have money like that, but I had gotten gifts. My my aunt, my uncle, yeah, my aunt and uncles, like like we we made it work, right? And so I went downstairs because we lived downstairs in the basement, right? And my mom, I was like, Oh, you know, you know those boxes of perfumes, like the little mini ones, okay, like the long ones, yeah, and like they've always had those since I was a kid, and I remember I was so excited because I liked perfumes, and my my mom was like, Oh, I saw I saw your aunt um wrap wrap this up for you, and she's she mentioned, oh, she's gonna wear this, you know, to yeah, something along the lines that she was insinuating that I was gonna wear it to like be flirty. I was 12.
SPEAKER_02You're gonna you're gonna wear it to catch the boys, right? Right. Like something essentially like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was 12. Like, I just wanted to smell good. Right. I was I was 12 years old, and I rem I don't know why I remember, I'm sure they don't remember that, but I remember it because it was like You're like, am I like that? Right. You start questioning yourself, like are am I like that?
SPEAKER_02Because am I a whore? Right? I'm 12. Am I the 12-year-old whore?
SPEAKER_03Am I a whore because I'm like perfume, yeah, you know, but I remember that, and I just and it was little things like that growing up where it's like, oh, she doesn't have a father, so like you know, she's gonna turn out to be uh this unsuccessful woman, you know, and she's gonna be a teen mom, she's gonna do this, she's gonna do that, and it's watch me, motherfuckers. Yeah, and it's like, okay, bet, you know, and and and it was I I mean, my family, I've told you this, the the women are very competitive, competitive about what I don't know, you know, everything and anything it it could be anything, really. And I mean that's why I choose to live my life the way that I do now. I don't I don't talk to anybody anymore. But I would have loved to have, you know, to have had a supportive family in that sense.
SPEAKER_02But have you ever heard? I was actually talking to my dad about this today because I have to like be his parent and therapist. Right. Have you ever heard of the burnt toast theory? No. So, okay, so you you get up in the morning, you get in the shower, the water's hot, everything's good, your alarm goes off on time, you go downstairs, you make your breakfast, your toast burns. You have to sacrifice an extra five, ten minutes to make a new set a new toast. Okay. So you sacrifice that five, ten minutes, who knows what would have happened if you had gotten out of the house on time. Like, let's say you gotten out of the house on time, you're walking to work, and just so happens somebody, a drunk driver from the night before, is making the turn as you're walking the crosswalk, hits you, and you die. You know, like it's like right, you your life could have been saved because your your toast got burnt. Yes, you know, so it's like everything happens the way it's supposed to.
SPEAKER_03I do agree with that. I think that that is something that I've learned um throughout my years, also, as well as being a cop. Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I'm sure you've like this is how that story was supposed to end. Right. And or this is not how that story was supposed to end, but it's how it did.
SPEAKER_03And I've learned that too. I've learned recently too to just you know, live and let live. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, and and enjoy the day that God has given you for today, you know, because you don't nothing is promised. I definitely learned that with my the recent passing of my horses, you know. So like now I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna ride Romeo every day because I don't know if this is the last time I have you know, because it's weird with horses, right? Like they can they can be really a lot of like death around your farmly, yeah. And it's like that is what I learned from like Shelby and and Jasper. And I I said, you know what? I like yesterday, even though Romeo was being a dick, such a dick. Um I I'm gonna ride him regardless, you know, because it it might be our last ride and we don't know it, right? Right, but that's life, right? Like that's life. We should always do whatever we can because uh in the day that's given to us because absolutely you have you may just that may just be it, you know? But I never knew okay, so I've heard of something like that, but I didn't know if it was called a burnt toast.
SPEAKER_02That's just like the best example you can give, right? I feel yeah, uh and it's like you know with the animals, like the animals live a lot shorter lives than we do, so we see their deaths more often. Right, you know, and it's like I would rather have you in my life. Like the fact that it's so painful that you died just goes to show how much we loved each other. Right. You know, like how like how like what a great horse Shelby was, you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, she was a great horse. It just like that's just how much love.
SPEAKER_02Your pain for her goes to show how much he loves her and how great she was.
SPEAKER_03It's it's so true, it's so true. How's Jack Jack? He's still a little sad, but of doing better because he had his own way of doing things, like she Shelby was always let out first because she demanded it. She'd always be like, I'm supposed to be let out first. But then Jack Jack was he, if I didn't let her out first, Jack would go to her stall and be like, It's time to get out, you know. And so, like now the first couple of days he was looking for her. Yeah, that really made me upset. It's so sad when you do that. And now he does it with Romeo. So I'm just just chugging along, just yeah, you know, and he's he's he's a good little donkey, so like he knows his yeah, he knows his role, he knows that that's his paddock. So to him, it's like he's going through what I went through, you know. Yeah, I he's seeing the depths as well, you know.
SPEAKER_02So he saw Jasper and Shelby and the sheep, the sheep, the sheep, and the chickens.
SPEAKER_03The chickens, not so much because they were he wasn't really around them at that at that point. But the chickens, I mean, those those bobcats are so crazy. I I can't with the bobcats, but hunting season is around, so um hopefully uh I we have some friends that want to hunt on our property, and they can hunt the bobcats? Bobcats? Yeah, oh nice. There you go. They need just the license. I know there's a license for it. Um the deer, I don't allow people hunting on our property for deer. Okay. The deer have a safe haven with us there.
SPEAKER_04They are not allowed to kill them on our property.
SPEAKER_03Do you like venison or no? I never tried it, so I can't say I hate it or I don't, but um, I've never tried it. Everyone tells me it's so good. We used to have a bear that used to come around. Um, he doesn't come around anymore, but we had a bear and the bear also like the bear. The bears are not, you can't kill bears, but no. Um I feel like you also shouldn't like spiritually. I yeah, I feel very weird with bears. Um, but some asshole actually, I think, killed the bear that used to come around our property. And which is so annoying because yeah, that bear was that bear didn't do anything. Right. Like it did not do anything. It was it was such a nice bear. Um, but I don't know if it was a male or a female, but I didn't see any cubs, but yeah, still. But still, like, don't don't do that.
SPEAKER_00I know. I don't like that. I know, but yeah.
SPEAKER_03I do want to try hunting, like I wanna hunt, but I don't I don't know how I feel about hunting deer. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like that's the thing I don't know about the envy.
SPEAKER_02You can only hunt the male deer, yeah. The bucks, which I'm like, all right, that's fine. Like that's fine, and I do really like venison. Like, I would never just hunt for sport. Like, if you're gonna kill something, you have to eat it. You just have to. Yeah, I mean, that's the rule, you know. I would go turkey hunting, first of all, because I I have like a taxidermy wall or like an Oddities wall. Oh, cool, and I had wings, and they were so turkey wings, they were so beautiful. My dog fucking ate them. He ate one, I left them on my table, which is my fault, and then the second time I hung it on the wall and he took it off the wall and ate it. I was so mad. That is annoying, but I don't really like turkey, so that's why I haven't because I know I won't eat it, and then it's just like I'm not gonna take a life just to hang it on my wall. Yeah, I won't do that. Yeah, no, people like to hunt for just for that.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm not much of that, but yeah, I don't really agree with that, you know.
SPEAKER_02Like if you're gonna eat it, okay. If I'm gonna eat if I'm gonna eat the turkey, cool, then I'll hang the wings, you know? Yeah, or if I know somebody that does that, then like I just won't do that.
SPEAKER_03My husband wanted to get uh peacocks. Oh yeah, you should. Peacocks. He's like, I want people to see the peacocks when they come up the but I'm like the bobcats are gonna get to it. Oh, do you think that's it? You know what I mean? Yeah, and peacocks are big animals, they've been like Jack Jack. It's just you have to put the peacocks like in a house at night because and then good luck getting them there, you know. Yeah, because the ducks that the one of the ducks was flying away the other day. And um what kind of ducks do you have? The athletic ducks, right? Yeah, so cute. They're really small, so bad. Small ducks, yeah. They're so cute. So cute. Do you eat their eggs? They're males, so they don't produce eggs, but I was gonna say if you don't, I wanna. Yeah. I've never had duck eggs. They're so good. I I know I've never had them. Do you like eggs? I do, yeah. I do like them.
SPEAKER_02Actually, I have female.
SPEAKER_03I have I don't know if I could eat duck eggs. I don't know why it freaks me out. They're the same.
SPEAKER_02They're they look the same, they taste the same, they're just from ducks, they're just bigger and they're like richer. Like, you know, when you get a yolk and it's like really, really like orange, yes, and it's so yummy. That's what duck eggs are like. I feel that I I don't know. I feel I wonder if they're different, like different species, though.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure they are like the taste. Well, that's my that's what I'm saying. I don't you know, it took me a while to eat my chicken, like my chickens' eggs that they laid because it freaked me out and it kind of grossed me out a little bit in the beginning, but now I no I demand I demand them to give me an egg a day. Do you will you eat your chickens? No, no, definitely not Marie Antoinette because she's been through it. She's been through it. She's seen a lot of death. Yeah, she's she's the matriarch, like she runs, she is she's the one that survived the last survived everything, but also she's the one that runs the house. So Marie Antoinette. She's another hand. Yes, she is special. That's so funny.
SPEAKER_02Now, is it like can you have these chickens till they're old and then kill them and eat them?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Are they yuckier if you wait till they're old? Um, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think I mean I don't know because right. I don't I don't really know if it if it makes any a difference. Because I know growing up, my grandma would just kill anything. Right. She would just kill anything.
SPEAKER_02I mean it's food at the end of the day, right? It's food. She killed whatever chicken was there. It's like you get over here. Yeah. Did she have like the little cone thing?
SPEAKER_03Yes. No, well, no, she didn't no, she didn't use the little cone thing. She didn't she did everything by hand. Oh my god. She did everything with her variants. What a savage. Yeah. I mean, the woman was a very strong woman.
SPEAKER_04I will say that.
SPEAKER_02Say I would like to. I like um I feel like as I get older, the more jumping off the hamster wheel of like the grocery stores and the pesticides, and you know, it's like I'm like, okay, I'm ready to jump.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I gotta slowly. Like I just switched everything in my house. Like the last thing that's like non, like that's not non-toxic is I can't let go of my silicone like cooking utensils. Oh, yes. I can't I don't like the wood.
SPEAKER_03Do you like you don't like the wood?
SPEAKER_02My mom taught me to use the wooden spatula. I have to. One day I just have to do it. Just make the switch. What do you not like about it?
SPEAKER_04That's interesting.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I just feel like it's porous. I mean, but I like my wood cutting board, so I don't know what the difference is.
SPEAKER_04I feel like there's no difference.
SPEAKER_03But maybe it's just maybe it's just in your head, just like how I don't know how the chickens and the ducks' eggs are in my head. Right.
SPEAKER_02I'll get over it eventually. Like, I just switched like my Tupperware, which for the longest time I would just keep Tupperware that I got from like takeout.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Even though like they say like it's not good. The plastic, so I was like, all right, let me invest in some like glass Tupperware. I got the stainless steel, um pots and pans, wooden cutting board. Yeah, I've always used wood.
SPEAKER_03Not that I cook much, but well no, is I've always had a wooden like wood, wooden spatulas, wooden cutting wood cutting board.
SPEAKER_02I think I got off of it like in my like early 20s. I like my teens, early 20s, I was not my priority, it was not dishes or cooking. So I'd like to make something with my wooden spoon and then it'd sit in the sink for two weeks, you know? Right. Which is disgusting, but that's why I'm like, I don't I know you sat in like nasty yucky sink water. Right. So I guess as long as I'm just on top of it, and I take really good care of my wooden cutting board, so I don't know why it would be different.
SPEAKER_01I feel like it's not different. It's not maybe it's just you're just you have to be ready. You have to be ready for the wood.
SPEAKER_02That's what I'm saying. Like that, like I don't have a lot of things. Like I have like one spatula, I have one whisk, like I have one, you know, I have one. Just one. Like, I feel like some people have a lot of like my I know my mom has like she has an entire drawer dedicated to cutting boards. Like I have one wooden cutting board. One.
SPEAKER_03No, I know what you mean, and I think I would prefer to just have one thing of everything. Yeah, but my husband is the cook, so he he just needs a little bit of he, yeah, and he'll like the way this handle fills, right? Like one, he has drawers fill of filled with different things, and I just I'm always like, why, yeah, you know, why why are we doing this? But he's the cook, so I can't. I'm not gonna complain because he's the cook, and so funny. It's gonna be his his cooking that we're gonna be eating, so I'm not gonna critique any of you. I clean up, that's about as far as I go.
SPEAKER_00There you go. I have to go home and clean. And me too. Me too.
SPEAKER_03And I want to go to the barn, but I have to clean the house. Like, what do you have to do when you go home? All of it, just yeah, all of it. Laundry, some dishes, not all. Like, I don't have many dishes, but my my house is not dirty, it's just the maintenance, yeah. Just the maintenance. My house is dirty. My cleaning lady's coming tomorrow, thank god.
SPEAKER_02Nice. I know I have to call mine. Yeah. Because it's just nice to have it like done right for a little while. You know?
SPEAKER_03Well, yes. I always tell everybody in the house, she just did this, I just paid for this. Keep it tidy for the next two days if you can. But for some reason, every time she comes the next day or the the next day or the night of after she leaves, my wonderful husband wants to cook something, wants to fry shit. Right. You know what I mean? And I hate the smell of oil in the smell of baggy so annoying. And it's like he and and I know he doesn't do it on purpose, it's just he wants to cook, you know. Right.
SPEAKER_02So I know you always want to like do the biggest cooking when the house is clean. Right. It's like, no, no, no, no, we just clean the house, let's leave it clean.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Just like, can we not do that? Or something like, can we just go out and eat? Yeah, leave the kitchen alone.
SPEAKER_02Right. Uh for me, I've been pretty good with like keeping my kitchen clean. Like laundry I'm usually good with right now. I have like piles just because I'm doing it for a million and four people. Right. But um, it's my dogs. I really only have the cleaning ladies come just to for the dogs to like sweep and mop and vacuum just do the floors. And it always happens that it rains right after they come. So I got muddy fucking paw prints all over my house.
unknownI hate that.
SPEAKER_02And it's so bad, I'm like, I don't even care. It's fine. Like, I'm uh I rationalize it where I'm like, it's not like germs, it's like dirt germs, so it's fine for the kids to be crawling around with the dirty dogs.
SPEAKER_03Well, I heard that's actually good for them because they they say it's good that they're around that stuff because it's for their immunity, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I know, I don't know if I it's one of those things, and my I have like a wolf dog, it's fine, it's fine, it's rose everywhere all the time. Right. Jack just learned how to like blow on his food. I caught him the other day, blowing a clump of the dog hair around the room. I'm like, oh my god, I'm not gonna say anything, you're entertained, it's disgusting, and this is just how we live. Right, this is just how we live our life. Yeah, I don't know why, but my the dogs sleep in the room with me. Um, mostly because we had the cats. I want to see if like the cats, and I don't trust my dog, he'll like get into the garbage or something. Um I hate that when they do that. Yeah, no, he's so bad. He takes dishes out of my tink. He's tall. Really? Yeah. Um, and my room is so furry. It's so bad. Yeah. That dogs will do it, baby. And then you get out of the shower and you go, I have like a couch in front of my bed, and I go and I get out of the shower and I sit on the couch, and my entire body's covered in fur.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, because it's like fur. Yeah, the fur is there. I know my my bulldog is he can be bad like that, but you know, I've gotten to the point where I've given up.
SPEAKER_02You just it's like there's no there's no point in fighting it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. It's gonna have to happen there, so it's whatever. Right. That's exactly how I feel.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if you can almost find Oh, there they are.