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Erin It Out
Dive deeper than the drama. We’re breaking down your favorite reality shows, Bravo moments, and pop culture phenomena through a social, political, and psychological lens that will change how you watch forever.
Erin It Out
A Sweet Reunion
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The Erins are back! Blonde Erin has spent a little bit too long in the Midwest (cow prom, anyone??), and Brunette Erin is battling neighbor drama. It's a tale as old as time, dissecting & complaining about the men of The Valley. Finally, a reality television trailblazer returns from the metaphorical dead to our screens, and the Erins have thoughts, naturally. See you again next week!
Hi, I'm Erin, and I'm Erin. It's time to air it out. Hello. We're back. We're back.
SPEAKER_00Hello, everyone. Hello. We've missed us. We've missed you. We've missed us. As you can see, we're in a different location today. I am here, and here is Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_02Yes, Erin is in the Midwest of America. She is having a journey home. And so we're doing remote recording. This is our first remote record podcast. So let's see how it goes. So far, so good.
SPEAKER_00So far, so good. And I was gonna say something, but I forgot. That's okay. I think it's been a minute since we recorded. We have a lot to say about a lot of people.
SPEAKER_02There's a lot going on, but first I want to know how are you doing? Oh, I know this is a little bit of a crazy last couple weeks. Um, so yeah, let's just kind of you know chat about yeah, just have a little nice.
SPEAKER_00Wow, me just trying to be down to business, boring.
SPEAKER_02You're like, anyway.
SPEAKER_00No, I'm good. Um I'm home because my grandfather passed away, sadly. So obviously always a bummer when that happens, but he lived a long life, 94 years. So that is a long life, nothing to complain about. Um, I was very happy that I was able to get home and spend his last few days with him and just lots of family time. And I'm here for another week. By the time I get back to Seattle, I will have been gone for almost a month, which is crazy, but it's fine. Yeah. Um, today I'm going to the Wisconsin State Fair.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god. I love a state fair.
SPEAKER_00Um, and I was just looking at the schedule of events for today. Let me tell you about some things that I'll be doing. Um, there are pig races, obviously.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00There are dog dock diving finals. So however our dogs can jump over a dock. Um, and then my personal like off into the water? Yeah. Okay. Yes. Just major. And then my personal favorite. At 5 15 p.m., there is a cow prom. Um qu'est-ce que what the hell is a cow prom? I don't know what a cow prom is, but I'm excited to learn. I'll I'll take some footage. And maybe we can put it up in post when you're editing.
SPEAKER_02I would love that. Yes, I we need that. I have quite a few friends who are from the Midwest. I don't think you guys realize you act like all this stuff is so normal. You're like, yeah, we're it's dog docking, duh. Or like you just say these things that you're like, everybody knows about this. And the rest of us are like, What? Listen. And I love the courage, and um, you're so it's the it's a convicted answer, you know? Like you're you're yeah, you have pride in that, and we love that.
SPEAKER_00Everyone should experience Midwest State Fair at some point in their life. That's all I have to say.
SPEAKER_02I love the so if you're from here, you don't call it the Evergreen State Fair. It's like, oh, it's the Pi-Wall fair. So, yes, yes. So I love that, and we have a lot of similar things, but I would say nothing as exciting as what you're saying.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've been to the Pialp State Fair. It's fine, it's great. Yeah. You do.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00But let me tell you, those those scones at the Pialp Fair have nothing on a Wisconsin State Fair cream puff.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so I have grievance with the scones at the state fair because they're so inconsistent. And if you get a good one, they're amazing. And then if you get if it's been sitting too long, whatever. So it's it's hard because I know they can be good and the potential, but it's like they're missing the mark sometimes, and that's what bothers me. It's not representing our state very well. That's disappointing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What have you been up to?
SPEAKER_02Okay, so we've been having a good old time over here. Obviously, we've had some drama with wildfire smoke and and whatever. I was wondering about that because I feel like I've missed it. I left before it you can't missed it. It was so bad. I say that, and knowing that it's a little bit of a first world problem because it the fires were in Spokane. And if you know anything about that, Spokane, I mean, it's a city, it's a small city, and tons of my family live there. Luckily, I think I had one family member who was evacuated, but everyone's fine. People literally are like, my cousin was like, Oh, yeah, we have friends that lost their homes. Like, we're talking neighborhoods just on the ground. It was so shocking because it was a city, you know. You usually expect those wildfires to be in like small towns or in the woods. It was not, and so I'm saying, oh my god, we had smoke, but at the same time, it was thank God everyone's okay. Because and somehow nobody died in Spokane. There were no casualties in the whole fire, even though thousands and thousands of people evacuated. So luckily everyone's okay, but it was crazy. And then let me tell you what happened the other day. You're gonna die. We get a letter. Oh, okay, so you know where this is going. We get a letter titled Pet Owner from Seattle Animal Control. Okay, we open the letter, and at the top it says, Someone has complained that your dog has consistent barking all day and night. Bitches is not so our dog, we have this neighbor, and I had to block her on via text because she would text me a lot about our dog, and yes, she's a bargay dog when she gets going, but like we don't let her just go outside and bark, right? We just we put her inside, we whatever. She's silent all night. This is there's no way that you could twist this that this dog is at all deserving of this. Everyone in my life who's like stayed at our house, whatever, is like that is not the case. So this neighbor who's been texting me who I had to block filed a complaint. I didn't even know that was a thing. Did you know that? I mean, I knew that people could do that if your dog bit someone. It didn't. I didn't know that. No, it was a thing. No. No, for barking. And I know, so apparently they just send it to you if you get a complaint and they don't investigate until it kind of you get they get more complaints and it goes further. And we have cameras, we see. There's she goes outside probably three times a day. So just so everyone knows, um, neighbors can do that. And I don't know why this woman hates me. She has hated me since the minute she met me. I don't understand. And John, at first, he was all heated. He was like, we should sue them and all this stuff. I was like, Yes, okay. Um, I love your passion, but we are not giving this woman any more energy.
SPEAKER_00So that's what happened. Your auras are clashing.
SPEAKER_02I think they are. In other news, I want you to know that I have the goblet. A chalice. The chalice is ready. In and I made an arrangement, even though you can't see it on the camera, of course. It's like I'm there. So I'm not. I want you to know that despite the fact that you're not here, you're here in our our spirit.
SPEAKER_00And we love, I I don't have a chalice. I I have this.
SPEAKER_02Looks like a chalice to me.
SPEAKER_00It's in the eye of the beholder. It's probably like, you know, a 90s kind of Tupperware plastic glass situation.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I love that. That's very um so you're at your mom's right now, right? Yes. Okay, that's very at the parents.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, microplastics who, you know. Exactly. So that's that's what's been going on. Lots of stuff, but even more stuff happening on Bravo, I feel. Yes. Because I The Valley is really pissing me off for all the reasons that we've already discussed, but it's just accelerating every single time I watch these fools on my television. Fools. Like, I don't even know. I think let's just start with Kristen and Luke because I I think they're the most egregious. Not Kristen, Luke. Because what is he even doing? He does not love her. Am I crazy for saying that?
SPEAKER_02I don't think he loves her. You are absolutely not crazy for saying that at all. And then I would like I think his eyes are yellow. I'm sorry. Isn't that what that what happened? Um, didn't people have yellow eyes on Twilight? Did they? Werewolf? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I just know what happens to babies when they're jaundice.
SPEAKER_02But maybe that's why he is not a very nice person, is because he's had been having jaundice this whole time. I mean, that would make me a little bit um, you know irritable. It would make me cranky, yeah.
SPEAKER_00When Andy Cohen asked him if knowing now what he knows, if he would still propose to Kristen, and he didn't immediately say yes, goodbye. What?
SPEAKER_02Goodbye, sir.
SPEAKER_00What is he even doing?
SPEAKER_02The thing that bothers me about him, and Jesse does this too: anyone who can't answer questions directly when they're asked, it's a red flag. Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Huge red flag. Also, his answer when they were talking about the whole watch what happens live situation.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Where they were in the world. I was so confused about that. I was like, what is going on? And I was kind of distracted when it was happening, and then I didn't have time to re-watch. So, what are your thoughts on it? Because I'm like, did I hear that right?
SPEAKER_00So I think at the root of it, I understand. I'm again, as a person without a baby, it seems would have seemed like a whole hassle to bring Kaya, skip her three time zones, get her off her schedule for a 48-hour trip. Like logistically, I understand that. But Kristen was upset and her feelings were hurt. And the fact that he never acknowledged that or apologized to her until his half-past flippant sorry apology on the couch filming that reunion. Gross. Like, please recognize that your partner's hurting. You did something to hurt their her feelings. You can acknowledge that and have a conversation. You don't just be like, This is this is my truth, this is my perspective, and I'm not sorry for it. Like, that's I don't feel like that's how a healthy partnership should work. And he's he honestly, in my mind, is eclipsing Danny in sinisterness. I said what I said. She said what she said.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Okay. Um, my question is why is the trip only 48 hours? Like, what is this 48 hour thing? Why do they only have to be in New York for 48 hours?
SPEAKER_00Well, I think the whole reason for New York was to be on Watch What Happens Live. And I think if they were going to be away from Kaya, it was going needed to be short, but they couldn't be away from Kaya. And so with Kristen and traveling, I think I would assume they just wanted it to be a short jaunt across the country.
SPEAKER_02And here's what I'll say about that. If you are, if you have a baby, and this is just I think this is true. Who knows? If you have a baby and then you are away from the baby, you don't give a fuck where you are. You're on a plane, you're on whatever. You're you don't you're not with the baby, you're sleeping, you're having a good old time, 48 hours, great. Like I I don't understand the the whole thing doesn't make sense. So it sounded like from from what I understood, Andy said that Luke said, I don't want to go if Kristen's going. Is that correct?
SPEAKER_00That's how I understood it. Because I think in Luke's mind, if Kristen went, that means Kaya also went. And he needed a break from that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that whole thing also evil makes no sense, and I don't think that's true. My suspicion is that he was trying to kind of make a name for himself outside of Kristen because why is that your only way to have a break, first of all? Second of all, it's so manipulative to kind of go behind Kristen instead and be like, I just want a break, let's, you know, do it this way, and be like, I'm gonna talk to Andy or to the whoever the producer is about how I'm going to just do it by myself so that he can say, Well, they only invited me, or whatever. I don't, the whole thing makes zero sense because they had childcare, they had a backup plan. I it just none of it made sense, and it just sounded like someone who was trying to sort of like take take their exit away from like make their own name for themselves, which wouldn't surprise me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think that adds to the sinisterness of Luke because he's trying to do things behind Kirsten's back, he couldn't admit or say that he would still propose to her after knowing what he knows. Also, we haven't even talked live recording a podcast since the scene in the finale episode where he said, let's have another baby and be done with it and put pregnant Kirsten in a coffin.
SPEAKER_02So disturbing. What he no, bad, bad news bears so disturbing. Um, the other thing that I need Bravo to do is we need to make a rule, and I think I've heard this mentioned elsewhere as well. People need to watch the reunion. I'm so tired of this thing lately where problematic people, yes, and and Amanda and West and all these people being like, I didn't watch, so I don't know. Even just okay, obviously, when you have bad behavior, you don't want to watch it, and that's an easy out. That's not even my biggest issue with it. My biggest issue is it's so uninteresting to hear someone the thing that the point of the reunion is we all watched it, we all had takeaways, I saw it differently, I whatever. And then it's not even that we have to all come into agreement about kumbaya, but it's like we need to have comments. It's it's like someone being in a movie and not watching the movie that they're in and then doing promotions for the movie saying, Well, I didn't watch, so I I wouldn't know what the movie is. And just from like a perspective of of production and stuff, I I don't it's so and then once it works for those people because the second we hear that we go, Well, they didn't watch, so like what are we even talking about?
SPEAKER_00Right. And the whole argument of I lived it, I don't have to rewatch it, is so thin to me because you only lived what you experienced on the show. Like there is you're part of an ensemble cast, you aren't in every single side interview that everyone's doing. So you, if you haven't watched all the things that you're not a part of, like you said, you can't take part in a robust and thorough and reflective conversation about the season as a whole because you only saw what you were present for.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it is annoying, and it just seems like it you're not doing your job at that point because yes, you lived it, but this is a show that you signed up for to do, and part of that show is being a part of all of the steps of it. So in everyday life, yeah, you lived some an everyday life. Maybe if someone catches you doing something on camera, whatever, okay, I don't want to watch that because I I was there. That's different. But this is not everyday life. This is like we signed up to be on this show, we do these things, and part of that is the discomfort of watching yourself back, which I could imagine is very uncomfortable. But it and it works for these people because they it does make you as a viewer kind of go, Well, they didn't watch the reunion, so maybe they didn't see, or it gives you this kind of like little window of of empathy or whatever. Maybe if they see, then they'll change their mind. No, it's just a way to take responsibility away from yourself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, transitioning from one evil man to the other, let's also just get date. But there's a lot of those on this show. Before we get into what they were actually talking about, I just need to know if you were seeing the same things as I was seeing. First of all, he looks so small sitting on that couch. And then, second, yes. Did you did you see all I'll say is yes.
SPEAKER_02Did you see his footwear? I haven't had a chance to deep dive everyone's outfits, especially the footwear of the men on this show is always very interesting and comical to me. Tell me about the footwear.
SPEAKER_00Um, Danny is wearing a heeled booty.
SPEAKER_02Is it kind of one that um like I'm pretty sure I wore those nonstop like five or six years ago? Um, is it kind of similar to like what a dancing professional in dancing with the stars would wear?
SPEAKER_00No, it's like a Chelsea boot, but like but not a Chelsea boot because it's like tight around the ankle, so it's not I don't know. You just have to and the heels like two inches. Like it's not like a like a sensible half inch Chelsea boot situation. Like it's a is it um is it a pointed toe? No, I think it was like a I was gonna say square, but now I'm now I'm questioning that. I was just distracted by the the boot of it all.
SPEAKER_02Uh it is, yeah. So and the thing is, I actually I liked from what I saw, I liked the rest of his outfit. So it's unfortunate that um, and I will say, as comical and uh hilarious as everything is, as a tall woman, I have like this small percentage of me that is like I I tall women and short men, we understand each other in a certain type of way. And it is a little different, but I do understand. So I'm like, oh. But I love to hate Danny. So any any excuse to hate him. I was cracking up because Nia was holding him in a same fashion that you would um if you were escorting your early dementia like grandmother somewhere to a dinner or something. Like she was kind of the way she was sitting and the way it's like, yes, honey, okay. I was like, this is the weirdest dynamic, and the fact that she was just looming over him in stature so much more, it was it added to that effect. I think Danny is not sober in this. Who knows what the deal is?
SPEAKER_00Thing is, I don't really have much more else to say about Danny and Nia because it's just the same. It's them him not understanding the root of the issue, more deflecting, them getting hung up on semantics, and it's just drawn out and tired. I am interested to see what we'll get in the last arena episode when they bring up what happened at Jasmine's wedding. If anyone will be truthful and honest about that, because it seems like that probably won't happen, but clearly something occurred that Danny and Nia are going to deny. Um and I'm I don't understand how they how this cast moves forward into another season because it's so fractured, people aren't being honest, and it will just be more of the same. And I can't watch another season where this is like the crux of it, personally. I mean, to be clear, I would, I would watch it, like, but I would be I know we're like we are protesting, aka we are gonna be loving it and loving hating him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um, so Danny to me, okay. So here's the interesting thing. On its surface, he was saying the right things at the reunion. He was taking accountability for the most part and saying his behavior was shameful, etc. However, the thing that I don't buy is that he did that previously. With Jasmine when he had that conversation with her and Melissa last season, saying, I'm sorry for my behavior, whatever. So you can say words, but it's your actions after that matter here. And clearly he's still drinking heavily. He's so that doesn't match up. So for me, if you are having this bad behavior and you're still choosing to drink in the way that you've been drinking, to me, it's either an issue with the substance or it's an issue with your consciousness and morality that you don't see your issues in the in the situation, or you're unable to look at it and everyone around you is enabling it, which it could be a combination of everything. But for me, I'm like, well, it seems nice what he was saying, but he's we've seen this before. And I hope for their family that it is a problem more related to drinking than anything else, so that if and when he stops drinking, because I just don't see him moderating very successfully. Yeah. Um I think there is a chance that this type of there could be a lot of improvement and whatever in his in I I'm not I'm saying he's not a lost cause for me, because no one's a lost cause, especially when there's substances involved. It's but there's I also think that what we see right now and what we're getting is giving lost cause direction. Like we're on the train, we're on the train to Lost Cause. Let's see where we stop, you know, what station we get off.
SPEAKER_00That would be a really good title for or name for a band, Lost Cause Direction. Just saying.
SPEAKER_02Probably um Katie Maloney's whoever is is in that band.
SPEAKER_00Yes. So if anyone wants to take it, feel free, but you owe us royalties. Yeah. Um I also I'm just really annoyed with Kristen's defense of them. Like, I get she finally fell on the sword and was able to be like, oh yeah, watching it back. We can say that the behavior was awful, and but this is not indicative of him as a person or a character flaw. I'm sorry. I do think it is because it happens every single time. If it was a one-off situation, like if it was just the Jasmine and Melissa thing, and then they had the conversation and then behavior changed and moved on, fine. But something's going on every single time he drinks, like that is indicative of who you are as a person. Beneath this.
SPEAKER_02I think he makes people uncomfortable too. Also, even while sober, I think he's just I can tell when I'm watching them all together, it's like everyone's got an arm's length from him, even if there's not a drinking scenario, because he's just kind of creepy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you can tell he's one of those people that when other people are talking, he's not actually listening. He's waiting for a pause in the conversation to say what he wants to say. And like get his point across. And I'm like, that's icky. I also going back to my annoyance with Kristen in this whole situation, the only one she's really not friends with in this cast is Janet. So, but multiple people have been discussing and talking about how Danny's behavior is problematic and uncomfy and wrong. Like, why are you holding them so high on a pedestal that it took for you to see it with your own eyes to believe that it was happening? Like, she's generally all about believing women and trusting people's experiences, but you can't do that for your own friends when multiple people are coming to you and telling you the same thing on several different occasions. Like it actually makes me question her ability to do that in situations where she isn't close with people, you know? Um, yeah. That just made me side at her a bit more.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I can see it's it's hard because I think she thinks she's doing that because I can almost sense this conflict. She has like two sides to her brain where one side is okay, I gotta align with Luke. I need to be friends with who he wants to be friends with, and sort of easily manipulated in that way. And then the other side is believe women, whatever. And so it's I can sense that there's these two sides conflicting. And he's been threatening her with breaking up, whatever, per her behavior. So I almost sense that she's kind of on best behavior, which brings me to the point of the therapist comment. Oh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was so blinded by my rage at the beginning of our discussion that I forgot to even bring this up.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so for those who don't remember or didn't watch, Kristen said Andy asked something along the, and correct me if I'm wrong, but something along the lines of asking about couples therapy and how why they stopped. And Kristen said, our therapist said that we were too volatile in sessions to keep going and that we weren't getting anywhere. I have so many thoughts. But put simply, that is not true. And Kristen's therapist did not say that. If she did say that, that is a very poor, bad therapist. The thing is, they went to one session that we know of, and Kristen says it was actually Luke's idea. I don't believe that, frankly. If you're against therapy, then why would it be your idea? Maybe he said, well, maybe we need to go to therapy, kind of like threatening in a way. Yeah. But volatility, so this is what I'm going to school for, right? To be not that I've done this in the field yet, be a couples therapist, right? But volatility and high conflict is just a category of couples that you learn to work with. You can't tolerate abuse in the room. You can't, if you know that one person is being physically abusive in the relationship, you can't continue therapy because it's just a conflict of things. That's like a whole other topic. But high conflict, where you're are, I mean, we learn in school how to deal with high conflict couples that are arguing and yelling and screaming, and it's no, there's no reason other than abuse or someone can't calm down, they can't get regulated in the session, which is not the case with either of them. They're not really that type of person. This is not a thing. It is not a thing at all. Probably what Kristen's therapist was maybe saying, agreeing is well, you if you're not gonna come together in couples therapy, then maybe it's not effective for you. Or she could have said something like that, which is a little iffy. We also know that this therapist said to her in early in the season, well, if it's only 15 minutes, why can't you just have sex with your husband? Again, not sure if she really said that or not, but if she did, it's bad. It's a red flag. So I think what happened is that Luke didn't want to go to therapy. Kristen did mental gymnastics to figure out how to make him not look bad on camera, and here we are.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was doing some investigation work on this scene on threads, you know, going to the therapist online. Um, and they were saying, Yeah, what did the internet therapist say? Yeah, it's important, obviously. Um they were saying similar things to you that generally that's not what happens unless the therapist is sensing that there's abuse happening or some sort of um like they're picking up on like some sort of like narcissistic personality disorder where it's not going to be productive. And again, not here to diagnose, but that could be the case. But we're not not saying right. Like if if Kristen is being honest about her therapist saying that, then there are serious reasons why the therapist gave them that advice and direction, more so than just they have stuff to work out on their own before they can come together in couples therapy.
SPEAKER_02Like there's yeah, it's not something that's not a thing working out on your own. Like you work it out in couples therapy. Like there's no I think that's a really good point. And I think but the thing is, there's no way a therapist could have assessed that in one session. Yeah. So, but but if let's say that was the case, let's say they went to multiple sessions, that is true that if one person is just completely incapable of receiving feedback or whatever, or there's a belief that yeah, there's um like a narcissistic thing going on because in narcissistic personality disorder, that person is unable to see someone else's point of view, and therapy is not gonna work on that person unless they are doing their own therapy on the side and they're saying, I want to change that sort of thing. This which clearly is not the case. Yikes all around to that crazy. I know. I I'm scared for Kristen.
SPEAKER_00I know, and it makes me sad because she, you know, she wants that family so bad, but I I don't see five years down the line how she's still in a healthy, committed relationship with Luke. Like there are too many red flags, and I'm sorry, but they're at the beginning of the relationship. I'm sure newborn stage is hard, but raising a child is hard and it's a long journey. And if he's already saying these things within the first year, like I don't know. I personally wouldn't want to be partnered with someone that is so bold to say those things on national television to me.
SPEAKER_02Oh, 100%. And also, she might just stay with him for a long time and just whatever. I think Jasmine made a really good point. And at the end of the episode, saying, Why is it all about everyone having kids? Why is it that these people, everyone's being an asshole and then blaming, oh, I'm having kids, oh, I'm tired. I 100% agreed with her. And of course, again, as we learned with Whitney in the city, when someone doesn't have kids and you're talking to a person who has kids about kids, that person's automatically going to go on the defense and say, Well, you don't have kids, you don't understand. Even though I thought her point was very valid and true. And I do have a child, and it is not an excuse to be an asshole. It might bring up like some asshole qualities that you might need to work on. I think it's more just, okay, you know what a good comparison? In COVID, a lot of couples broke up, right? And a lot of people were like, well, it's COVID, we were so close together, and that's why we broke up. No, you were gonna break up anyway. It's just it brought out those things. I think what having a baby does is it puts all the raw things to the surface, whether you like it or not. And if you don't deal with those and address those, or if you are trying to hide them, it just doesn't work. And that's where you get the disconnect or the heightened emotions or whatever. And everyone has heightened emotions, but I don't think that okay, these things were not that's like when Jessie's saying, Oh, it was because we had a baby that we broke up. No, it's not, it's because of whatever it was. Yeah, it's not because you like these things are in the surface, and so they're just gonna come out, and it's just such a convenient excuse for asshole, especially men, to say, Well, it's the baby, it's the baby. Yeah, it's the baby because it makes it so you can't hide anymore.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like, I don't think I've become an asshole because I had a baby. No. At least let me know if I have. Maybe I have, and I'm just so unaware.
SPEAKER_00From my perspective, not an asshole. Can't say certified not asshole. Ay, ay, ay, this crew. Well, we have one episode left of the reunion, and then they all get a break, which is probably for the best. Yes. Now transitioning into someone else. A face that was very popular on Bravo, and then she went away, and now she's back. We are here to talk about House of Stasi. So many thoughts. Did you finish watching it?
SPEAKER_02Um, no, I think I'm so I'm mid, they're on their trip to Bel Air. Oh, yeah. The staycation. Yeah, the staycation. So I have I feel confident that I have enough information to uh speak psychologically on some of the things going on.
SPEAKER_00There is a blow-up in the last episode between Stasi and Bo. Um started by everyone else. Um, so be interested to get your full thoughts on that after you watch it. But before we dive into some of the weird dynamics on the show, I want to pose the question of should this show even be a show? I think that about all a lot of shows, I would love to know more about why you're asking that question. From the perspective of I think it was kind of right away in the first episode where she talks about her cancellation. Um and then she comes back toward the end. It was either in the last episode or second to last episode when she's talking about her cancellation again, but this time with two black women. And oh, yeah, I'm scared. I'm sorry for my life. She talks about the cancellation in a way that she describes herself as she did those things because she was so selfish and just thought that she could say whatever she wanted and do whatever she wanted without repercussions. My issue is like if you're gonna try to feign accountability and say how much you've grown, how much you changed, how you're a different person now compared to who you were in what 2020 when the cancellation all happened, you have to be able to call it what it was. Like Sasi, you did some severely racist shit to people. It wasn't just you being selfish. Like, sure, yes, it was a selfish move because you thought you could be flippant and say really irresponsible things, but those things were racist.
SPEAKER_02And for me personally, will you give wait, will you explain real quick the cancellation for those who are unaware or forget?
SPEAKER_00Good, good, good pulling me back to give this important, all needed important context.
SPEAKER_02Before we get so angry that we can't even see straight.
SPEAKER_00So back in Vanderpump Rules days, Stasi obviously was a staple figure on that. Jax and Brittany were dating or engaged. It's before they were married. Um, Jax cheated on Brittany with someone else that worked at surname Faith. Faith, black woman. Stasi and Kristen um wanted to get back at Faith for this, and apparently called there was some sort of theft or something that happened in West Hollywood or Hollywood. Um the video footage vaguely showed a black woman. Um, and Stasi and Kristen called the police and gave Faith's name, even though it clearly was not her, um, just to get back at Faith for being the other woman that Jax cheated on Brittany with. That is racism, and the fact that she's just copping it up to being selfish really irked me because it shows me that you're not actually able to talk about it in a fully kind of realized and self-aware way. You want to name it to to say that you're being accountable without actually having the full weight of accountability because you're not doing the big thing and saying truthfully what you did. And that kind of shadowed my whole viewing and interpretation and experience of the show because I'm like, if you're coming back because you said it it took so long for you to get the show made because you were clawing back from this huge cancellation, well, like to me, you should you don't deserve to be back because you still can't call it what it was. And I don't know if that's just me being too nitpicky, but that was my general perspective umbrella of the show.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I would have to say I agree with that perspective. Um, I was kind of looking for that explanation of this is what happened, and I think the problem that we face in America, but anytime racism is at play, is people saying, Well, I didn't intend to do that, or I wasn't thinking about race or whatever. But the problem is, is things are racially driven and charged, and the way that we are conditioned and our upbringing, especially as white people, um, those we have those undertones in every situation. So to say that, well, you know, I it it was just because I was selfish, or it's because um I wasn't thinking, yeah, it's because you weren't thinking and because you were selfish, and also subconsciously, you equated a black person stealing to that's what black people do, or whatever it was. And also, I think just not acknowledging the clear reality of the situation of okay, I grew up very privileged, I didn't see for what it should be, or whatever, and and acknowledging this is what happened and this is where my mind was, and now I've learned that X, Y, Z, I was a little disappointed in that, yeah, personally. Because I think we can all, we all make mistakes and we all have bad moments, and the thing about it is that she has been punished by the public immensely for such a thing. And I can only imagine the backlash that she's gotten, but to have all of that and to have all of this like growth, but then not acknowledge the actual source of the problem, which is racism, which is prejudice, et cetera, et cetera, then that to me is not real growth and accountability. And it's kind of perpetuating the white privilege of just being able to chalk it up to I was selfish, I was being stupid, et cetera, et cetera. And I think we noticed that in one of the scenes she was uh trying to apologize to Bo and she was having a really hard time with it. So obviously she has a hard time saying she was wrong, and it's easier to be like, Well, I was being selfish and whatever. But yeah, I was disappointed in that. So I kind of had to put that to the side a little bit when watching it and be like, okay, I'm gonna just like ignore this, which feels weird to do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's exactly what I did, and then the conversation with the two black women at the I think it was the last episode, like I said, toward the end of the season, um, it came back again. I was like, okay, we're ending this show, how I started with that perspective. But I just had to put that out there before we dove into the conversation of everything else that we saw.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and can I ask, can I ask quickly just to review what I guess to describe it to people, what was the conversation, what was the purpose of the conversation with these women?
SPEAKER_00So it was two people that she met and became friends with when she was on Vanderpump Villa. I didn't I didn't watch Vanderpump Villa, so I don't know who these two w ladies were on the show, but they're black women, and they're talking about how they clicked and hit it off, and now their friendship has come into real life, not just on Vanderpump Villa. And one of them brought up the whole cancellation and saying, like, when she first met Stasi, she didn't know about all of that. Um, and then after they filmed the show, when she was talking about Stasi to her other friends, they brought it up and were like, Do you know who this is? Like, do you know what who what happened or what she did? Um and then she did her own research on it, right? And she found out kind of everything that had happened. And okay. My my mom and friend that's in town just came in and they left my mom left the door wide open, so it threw me off my game. Um but gotta love it. They she essentially told Stasi like if I had known all of that. Going into Vanderpump Villa, like I don't think I would have I would be your friend. Um, and then they talked about how Stasi grew and Stassi was saying, like, these conversations make me uncomfortable, but I need to have them. And again, it was more talking around the issue and not naming what actually happened. Um, it was it was a smidge more accountability than when Stasi was just talking about it herself in the first episode, but again, it's it still wasn't what I had hoped it would have been.
SPEAKER_02Well, and bringing two people who you have a rapport with who are employees at the establishment that the other place you're working at, and there's a power dynamic there because you're the host or the whatever, and you have this in with Lisa Vanderpump, and you're bringing these of course they're gonna say nice things because they have a rapport with you, and they're you're their boss's friend or coworker or whatever. And so that's a little icky to me. Yeah, and especially because it's like, well, you know, they're talking about how oh, Stasi is actually a great person and whatever. And that's so just this tired and old thing of, well, I have black friends, or but this, but I'm so nice to these people, and that's that's not acknowledgement, especially in that power dynamic. I was hoping that what you're gonna say was that she was speaking with people who maybe were going to talk to her about social justice or equality or something like that, or or were going to challenge her a little bit, but it was it seems like a very strategic move to bring two people on that clearly are not in a position to challenge her at all.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's exactly it. Strategic is the perfect word. It was definitely giving, oh, these are my two black friends, so therefore I can't be racist. Um especially when literally the entirety of the show up until that point, it's all white people. Like it's clear that she doesn't surround herself with people of color in any sense, which I'm not here to judge that, but you're gonna have one specific scene where you're bringing these two people that you met through work come in and have a more accountability conversation with you is very, very odd, and honestly, I would have preferred just to not have that at all because again, it's not it's not a full and conversation about it, so yeah, and I think it's that power dynamic in there. I think we can't ignore that, and that is a big problem for me, totally so anyway, but putting all that aside, just a little racism, okay, a little light racism, just a a little sprinkle. The other thing theme that I taking away, I feel like they're really leaning into the whole breaking the fourth wall shtick, where they're talking about we're filming a real reality show, and they look at the camera and like say things, and they're talking about how no reality show has done that before, and that makes this real and yada yada yada. I think it's cheesy. Like, I don't like it personally. Like, clearly, you're making a reality show, clearly it's a pers you it still has an angle and a perspective that Stasi wants because she's the executive producer, especially like talking about that scene that we're just talking about. I don't I don't need you to constantly talk about the fact that you're filming a reality show on the reality show that I'm watching. I know you're filming a reality show because I'm viewing it. Like, I don't did that come across to you at all.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I have the opposite. I loved it. Oh, interesting. I I think because I have a general fascination with production, like the production part of reality TV, and I almost appreciated how it was just calling it for what it is. It's not pretending, okay, we're all gonna go to this thing and it's so natural and whatever. It's almost like, okay, we know that you guys know that we're producing this thing, and so I'm gonna let you in on the angle that I'm going with this. And so I actually thought it was interesting, but I can see your point of view and I can see how it's a bit distracting, especially from you're watching it and you want this flow and the storyline, and then all of a sudden it's kind of like whoop.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I get it from the the first episode when they showed the test shoot and all of that. I thought that was cool. Um, but that it kept up with that so strongly through all eight episodes. I think by episode three or four, I was like, okay, like we get it. Like you can still kind of like pull back the curtain, kind of you know how they do on housewives, where if a housewife gets upset and they go off and talk to production, like you you're seeing them talk to production, you have a moment, like yeah, like I think you can do those things and that'll be great, but I don't need you constantly referring to the fact that you're filming a reality show. Like we we get it. That makes sense.
SPEAKER_02It's almost like if so they kind of do that fourth wall breaking um on the reunions on Bravo, yeah, and you get this little moment, but then you kind of have the rest of you have 10 or 15 minutes where it's just the reunion is being filmed, so maybe more like that, where we get these little set kind of glimpses of it, and then you can kind of relax into watching the storyline happen. That makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, um, I think the big thing that we need to talk about is Stasi's dynamic with Bo and her family. You said you said that you were watching the episodes where they were in Bel Air. Yeah. No, the blow-up happens. Oh, you haven't seen this. Okay, we can't we can't fully get into her family dynamic because it's at her sister's house warming party where No, no, we can get it.
SPEAKER_02Tell me, tell me a little background.
SPEAKER_00Um well, it's gonna be hard because you haven't seen it. So I think I I do think we should wait to talk about her and like her family until you've seen it because it's got a very interesting conversation just with the dynamics with her mother and hearing more of Stasi's experience with her.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay, because that was I that was my biggest note is that Georgie is a carbon copy of her mom. Carbon copy. Because I will never forget in a practice, I think it was on Vanderpump Rules, maybe, but Stasi, when she first introduced her mom to Bo, Stasi's mom said, Bo is up here and you are down here. Yes, yes, and that is classic, narcissistic mother to the T. Her, and then she looks like her mom. She's saying it's exactly a carbon copy of her mom, 1000%. To say that to your child is so diabolical and so horrendous. And her mom just seems like such a jealous, kind of I don't know, like evil stepmother, but it's your mother kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. And that's what they get into more of like the relationship with her mom changed once Stasi started gaining her some of her own notoriety and fame, if you will. Um, and her mom initially said she didn't want to be a part of this new show, and Stasi was like, Great, I don't want you to be a part of the show. But then once cameras came up, her mom started coming around. Um, so I think that all kind of leds leads into the type of person that we all think that she is. I think we'll we'll circle back to have a more robust discussion about Stasi and all of her dynamics with her family, her mom, her sister, and her brother um after you finish watching it because it's wild.
SPEAKER_02It's wild. Yeah, and that's that's one reason I was excited to watch the show because I know that there's a very uh deep, robust opportunity to talk about family dynamics psychologically in this show. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. Um, but Stassian Bo. I'm gonna let you start first. Your thoughts on Stassian Bo because I've seen more than you, and and I'm just curious your your general takeaways, observances. Is that a word? Sure, I don't know. Observations. That's that's the word I was looking for.
SPEAKER_02Yes, observations, yes, um of the of the two of them, because it is very interesting, and um per usual, I have no idea what the internet is saying. Um, here's my opinion. I think I'm going to be in disagreance with some people because I am screaming internally at Bo this whole time. I I feel that Stasi, because of her dynamic uh with her mother and her mother being jealous of her, Stasi is the scapegoat of her family. And that's why she has a edge to her because that's the only way that she can actually, you know, get her opinion said, and Bo is perpetuating the scapegoat thing because he is such a victim. I can't even if the tables were turned, if Stasi was the one who had a nanny whose one of their kids goes to school all day and still was complaining that oh my god, and two people are living that you're expecting to help out with the kids and stuff, which I get that, but like let's be real. You are free for at least six to eight hours every single day to do whatever you want. So I actually understand. I think her delivery was terrible. I understand where Stasi's coming from by being like, do what you want, but just can we do it in this time frame? Um, I think that the whole thing about, oh my God, and I was just when Bo was like, would I rather be, would I do I want to make lemoncello or whatever it is with my sister, or would I rather be working and doing casting? I'd rather be working, but I'll make lemon cello. It's like, oh my god, your life is so hard that you have to make a lovely meal with your sister and do this thing, like, oh, I'd rather be doing this job. I think it's more about he doesn't feel like he has an identity. He's probably been a yes person in the relationship the whole time and gotten caught up in like the here's what pisses me off. Everybody's coming in and everyone's really attracted to Stasi and her world and her glamour and everything, except for Taylor. I love Taylor, she's not doing this. But then be it, it's like when that sparkle gets too much, people are like, oh, it's it's she's just whatever. And the thing that really set me off about him was when he talked to Taylor about his issues with Stasi because he knew that she was gonna tell her, and that was his way to communicate. I think he's extremely conflict avoidant. He feels like he doesn't have an identity, he should be able to go to work. That's not a thing, that's not a question in my mind. Like, if he wants whatever career he wants to have should be what that thing is. But he's searching for this identity that's not it's not gonna be solved by this career thing. And and her concerns are valid in that like having a nine to five job on a family is, you know, that's a big change from where he is now, where he's always available, whatever. That's their dynamic, that's what they're used to. I would be very curious, and maybe they mentioned this later on, and you could speak to this. I I want to know if they had an agreement about their childcare dynamic, or if it was like Stasi said, Okay, you can't, I need you to stay home, kind of thing. Because I'm thinking, okay, if this was your agreement that someone was going to do this thing, then now you're kind of acting like, oh my god, you're this victim. Whereas it should be, I'm not happy, I want to do this. Um, it sounds like it was kind of like some conversations were had, and then he sort of dropped the conversation. And from Stasi's point of view, she's like, Well, he had this idea, but it kind of went away. And yes, her delivery was terrible, and she is absolutely being controlling in the situation. But this little mopey victim, I cannot like this woman makes your life so I'm sorry, I have a baby and I don't have a nanny, but I have a very easy life compared to a lot of parents, and he is in the same boat. He has a nanny for one the one child who's home, and then the other child goes to school all day. So I want to put that into perspective because I want to, I want to put it into like if the tables were turned and a woman was complaining like this, she would get burned at the stake on the internet or the whatever. And that's why I'm like, I just feel like it's just very convenient for him to blame Stasi. Really, it's like he's not advocating for himself. Is she kind of being a bitch? Yes. Um, does she not have great delivery? Is she not listening to him? Yes, but to make her out like she's this horrible person who's oppressing him and he's this housewife and he's so oppressed, it's just it's like you are a white man, sir, like with a very glamorous life, and it's shut the fuck up. Okay, that's my thought. I went off for so long. Like I every time I'm like, and I feel like I'm allowed to say that. I'm allowed to say that because I am a stay-at-home parent, okay? I have one child, I'm allowed to say, yes, they have two kids. I don't have any help, right? And I'm not saying that because I'm like amazing. It's just like I I'm a person who doesn't even have a nanny or whatever, and I'm like, it's not that like compared to all these people in the world, single parents, low income, like there's all these issues, you know, with parenting and childcare right now and how expensive it is. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like my life is so hard because of these things. Okay, continue. I gotta just shut the fuck up, or I'm gonna be here all day. You're never gonna get to that state fair.
SPEAKER_00So don't hold me back from that cow prom. Um I agree with a large portion of what you said, but I think I disagree because with the other slice of it because of what I've seen in in the the rest of the episodes. So I'm not I'm not gonna spoil that for you just yet, but I will absolutely speak to you. I think Bo's communication sucks. I think a lot of this could be solved if he just leaned into conflict a little bit more and had a straight-up conversation and and tell Stasi like I I need to go back to work to feel fulfilled. And if I did that, I think that would solve 90% of their of their problems, right? But he's not doing that, he's using other people as a conduit to share this information with Stasi rather than him putting his big boy pants on and doing it himself because that's his wife and he's the husband in this situation. Um, he's leaning on other people too much for that. Um, and I think they being mostly Taylor, like gas him up in those conversations and over-validate him, which is fine. Like everyone's feelings are validated, but like no one's empowering him to be like, go have that adult conversation, go have that adult conversation with your wife. They're all taking it on in themselves and be like, we need to go talk to Sassy because this isn't okay. Like, no. I understand they're they're friends with both of them and they can have those conversations separately, but at the end of the day, it needs to be Sassi and Bo that come together to have those conversations and resolve whatever's going on, rather than the friends kind of using their interpretation of the conversations that they've had with both of them and having a come to Jesus. And having a come to Jesus conversation with Stacy because that's what they try to do in the last episode, and it doesn't go well.
SPEAKER_02Which I'm not surprised. I I she seems um one to me that if we're going off of her, like veering away from her idea, it's bad, which I totally understand that that's why Bo is tiptoeing around, but you have to also it's like know thyself and know like we tried this way where I was home and I did this thing and I'm unhappy and I need to get a job, and that's gonna make me happy. And the thing is, is I uh as hard as she is on the exterior, I think she kind of can take a little pushback, but I don't know. I mean, she's a scary person to argue with, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00The dark passenger, the dark passenger, you know.
SPEAKER_02But everyone blames that. That's the thing, is is even the sister says, Oh, the dark. I'm like, girl, you're the dark passenger, okay? If there's a dark passenger, you and your mom are the you come in in a chariot and arrive as the dark passenger whenever that dark like the sister to me is the villain.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she's weird. But I think we can maybe put a pin in it there. Have you finished the rest of the episodes and then really dive into the family dynamics next week because there are a whole lot to and I know a lot of people are the show just came out, so then it gives other people a chance to like listen and uh watch it and then listen later.
SPEAKER_02Um, one last thing, real quick, I want to say, is I love Bo's sister. I think she is absolute so far from what I've seen, absolutely lovely, totally normal. Um, I I just I I find her just so cool and like great. Love her. Is that does that feeling continue through the show or or am I gonna change my opinion?
unknownYeah, no, I think that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, I think she's definitely consistent.
SPEAKER_02Great. Um, and then what else? Do I have anything else in my notes? Um, oh, I enjoy Taylor. I think that she is I th I like watching her and I like watching her dynamic with her wife, and um I'm agreeing with a lot of what she's saying. So I'm enjoying that as well. She seems like um a bit of the voice of reason for me, and also I enjoy that she's not villainizing Stasi like everyone else in her life is.
SPEAKER_00This is so funny because Taylor really annoys me.
SPEAKER_02Um, would you like to quickly share why? Or are you are you still working on these these thoughts?
SPEAKER_00The thing it's mostly how much the show in the show Taylor appears to set to center Stasi and Bo in their world over and above hers and her relationship with her wife and her soon-to-be-born child. And that's just weird. Yeah, I could see that period. Makes sense. Anyway, those are beginning thoughts of House of Stasi. We will have more. Oh, we always have more thoughts. Give it always have more thoughts. Always have more thoughts. Oh, also, we're getting Real Hosteries of Salt Lake City soon.
SPEAKER_02Did you watch the trailer? I did not watch the trailer, but I'm so excited. Okay. I'm so excited for the cast. Um, I am gonna miss Brittany. Do we know if she's completely gone? No, she's back. This is why you need to watch the trailer, girl.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Okay, well, it was so great to be reunited again. Everyone, go listen to the podcast. Wherever you listen to podcasts, Spotify, follow us on Instagram. Internet Out Podcast. Follow us on Instagram.
unknownFollow us on TikTok.
SPEAKER_00Follow us on TikTok. We don't have any posts, but you'll be there too.
SPEAKER_02It's probably there to receive you know when we when you get fresh off the press. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Amazing. Right. Well, with that, never forget. It's always a good turn. Tear it out. We'll get it. Yes, we'll get that. We'll get that one day.