Besides Business
A podcast about who local professionals are besides business — the passions, stories, hobbies, and deeper cuts that don’t fit on a business card.
Besides Business
1: Matt & Jake - talk nursing homes, guitars, and addiction
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Matt sat down with Jake LaTourelle — Media & Marketing Manager at Edge Home Finance — for our very first episode. We get into his years in a nursing home, his daily guitar practice, and his personal journey through addiction and recovery. Honest, unfiltered stuff.
Contains explicit language and references to alcohol/drug abuse.
“Every record has an A-side and a B-side. Every business card has a front and a back. This is Besides Business — let’s flip it over.”
Clips coming soon to our other channels — follow along so you don't miss them.
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Every record has an A's tide and a B's tide. Every business card has a front and a back. This is Besides Business. Let's flip it over. What's up, everyone? Welcome to the very first podcast of Besides Business. We have a great friend of mine, Jake La Torelle, on the podcast today, our first ever host. So you should be excited to be here. Very honored. I am honored. Thank you for having us. Jake actually is in the office with me every day. So, Jake, if you want to just start, tell us a little bit about your day job and then we'll get to that.
SPEAKER_00Um, I do all the media and marketing for Edge, video, graphics, I help with the app, social media pages, um, photography, uh filming the events, all that stuff. I kind of wear a lot of hats, but mostly like filming and editing and graphics.
SPEAKER_01And Edge Home Finance, we're a mortgage broker in Minnesota, um, 49 states overall, so yeah. Humble brag to be the marketing and social media guy. So, uh, what would you say? Still sticking to business before we get off topic, what's your favorite part about what you do here? Would you say?
SPEAKER_00Oh, being creative. I I started as a loan officer here, and it just wasn't for me. I I'm the kind of guy that needs to like constantly create, and I feel like I just wasn't getting that being a loan officer. I mean, creating loan approval or pre-approvals is awesome for some people, but say we're creating our own Yeah, your own art. Our own art. Yeah, but I just through 30 years of debt. Yeah. I just, I don't know, it was uh I didn't I wasn't a fan. Personally. Fair enough.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I like you on the the marketing side better, anyway. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't want me to do your loan right now. I'll keep that in mind. So now let's switch to besides business, the whole reason we're here. So you told me this morning that you play guitar every single day. Yeah. So where did that start? How did you pick up?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I I should phrase it. Like, I I don't like I'm not practicing religiously. I pick it up for 10 minutes, play around, and then I'm not like sitting there for an hour learning new songs. A lot of times it's just I'm playing around so that I don't lose the ability to play guitar. Because like it's kind of like riding a bike where you know you'll always know how to do it, but if you don't do it for a long time, your fingers are you're less coordinated, you you know, you lose a little bit of it, and it's just fun. My son likes it.
SPEAKER_01And uh does he listen to you play then?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. And I mean, the thing is like when you're practicing guitar or if you're learning something new, you have to repeat the same to him. Sometimes it's just like, dude, shut up. I don't want to hear the same song 30 times done poorly. You know what I mean? But uh yeah, it's fun though. I like it. Do you have a go-to song that you like to? You know what's funny? I don't I know like very little songs for how well for how good I am. I'm not like great at guitar, but like for how good I am, uh, I don't know that many songs. Like I have a looping pedal and I kind of just make my own melody and then like solo over it, if that makes sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Do you think it is uh I know you said keeping up with practice? Is there also like a stress relief element or is it like something else that it gives you creatively that um yeah, I I've noticed like of course, yeah, it relieves stress.
SPEAKER_00Um it's kind of like I'm trying to relate it to some. I don't yeah, it's stress relief and discipline. Like I feel like, okay, um, if it's like going to the gym. If I skip a day of the gym, I kind of I feel it. So if I don't play guitar, it kind of releases that like creative juices that maybe I didn't get at work. And um even after playing and kind of just like it just kind of like drains you a little bit, and uh yeah, it's awesome though. I think everybody should learn an instrument.
SPEAKER_01And you have just one guitar then, right?
SPEAKER_00No, I have uh three guitars uh and then like a ukulele. Oh I've got it at a thrift store. Do you ever play that? Yeah, yeah. I don't it's not normally it's like not a normal ukulele tune. I just tuned it to like normal EADG, like guitar tuning, and just play around with it like that because it just sounds. I like the sound of a ukulele. And I I like know how to play if it's tuned like a guitar. Ukulele tunes are weird, it's like high pitch, lower, lower, and then the highest pitch, and it just I was gonna ask you what's the difference.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I've heard a guitar and a ukulele. Ukulele is beautiful, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, agreed. Yeah, I love it. Reminds me of uh Hawaii, it's the best.
SPEAKER_01I was just gonna say, I I've been listening to the uh Hawaiian roller coaster ride, Lilo and Sitch song, because they have two young children. So I ukulele Hawaii is always a part of my week lately with that song, so yeah. Do you speaking of kids, do you think that you will teach your son to play? Or it'll just depend on if he shows interest in it?
SPEAKER_00I mean, he he loves music, like he likes really fast, he likes all music, but especially like fast, hard, like punk. Like pretty heavy stuff. And uh old is he? He's four. Yeah, he's a psycho. Um but I I think he'll be a drummer. He he likes strumming the guitar, but like he's such a hard, like rough around the edges, kind of he's there's no like gentleness to him.
SPEAKER_01So did you ever play the drums yourself?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay, yeah, so you play. Not like like I know how to play like the basics, but I'm not I wouldn't consider myself a drummer. But yeah. Cool. Yeah. Do you play any instruments?
SPEAKER_01I don't. Oh. That's why I mean talking to you about it is when you said E A D G, I until you you said it after. You say, oh, okay. Yeah. Let's try to roll with this. Standard tune. No, I love those letters. I four of my favorite. Those are my favorite letters. I am uh I'm probably one of the least I love music. I actually love cooking, listening to RB music. R B? Yeah. That kind of blows my mind. Like what I mean. I grew up hip-hop as well, but like RB kind of puts me in the right. Like Sha Day or like Casey and Jojo, or what? Both are on the playlist at some point. I usually start with uh Keith Sweat. Okay. Um, real sexy. Yep. Um Keith Sweat, nobody. Alexa and Siri in my household are sick of playing that. But I'll usually put that on, cook. It it kind of de stresses me and yeah, helps me chill out. So but other than listening to music, myself, I'm one of the most least musical people you ever meet.
SPEAKER_00Well, everybody is until they, you know, so was I before I started playing guitar.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I I was everybody's horrible, unless they're like some savant piano dork who just knew how to play coming out of the home. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But um, yeah. Well, thanks for sharing that. That's cool to I like talking to people about you know some daily habits, things that that give them enjoyment. So diving into your past a little bit professionally, you told me that you worked at a nursing home for a while. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00How long was that? Uh, I think it was eight or nine years I worked there. Okay, wow. Yeah, I was in uh activities, and it was probably my favorite job of all time. You'd you'd walk in, I'd say, like I'd wake up maybe in a bad mood, I'd get to the nursing home, and in a matter of five minutes, I was like, what was I mad about? Because it's just you start talking to the residents, and it's uh it's very humbling. You know, you feel like uh I don't know. You feel like you're making a difference. A lot of times people, you know, kids they'll drop their mom or dad off at a nursing home and then see them once or twice a year at like Christmas or Easter or Thanksgiving. And it's pretty sad. Yeah. So it it it's pretty cool to I don't know, keep they're at the final stages of their life, and being able to I don't know, cheer them up a little bit, just it feels good.
SPEAKER_01What do you think it is if you had to put your finger on it? Like when you walked into work, yeah, you humbled you, helped put things in perspective for you. What would you say is the biggest part about that?
SPEAKER_00Just that they're old and struggling, or that they're yeah, I mean the my before I started it, I was desperate for a job before I started there. And I would have never thought like, you know, you think of a nursing home, you think of like you hear horror stories in the news of like, you know, people screaming and elder abuse and whatever. And then war. Yeah, yeah. Um, and then you show up, at least for mine, it was like, oh, like these are normal people, but they're just old. And it's you know, a lot of them are lonely and their spouses passed away, and um some of them have like early onset Alzheimer's or dementia, and it's uh yeah, it's like you said, it just puts into perspective like you know, I I had there was traffic on the way to work that sucked, but you know, this at least I'm not in a nursing home struggling to feed myself and walk, yeah. Or you know some of them had to have all liquid diet, like they couldn't eat food. It's I don't know, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Is there a resident that like a lesson from a resident that has stuck with you all? Like something you heard or they should have.
SPEAKER_00Um there's probably thousands of lessons I've learned there, but um ironically though, like it I didn't really I can't think of one from like a resident, but like my work ethic came from um from there. My boss was great, her name was Lisa, and she took it very seriously. And well, a lot of the other departments like were kind of just like oh show up and clock in. Like we were like militant about activities and structure and making sure every resident was checked in on, and um it just taught me a lot about work ethic and showing up and you know as the best version of yourself and leaving all the bullshit at the door when you come in, and yeah, it was cool.
SPEAKER_01So you would if you were talking to younger generations like ours, what would you tell them about you know the nursing home experience? I mean, number one, it sounds like you would say visit your parents or grandparents if they're there, or there are other things that you would like my fiance's Hmong, and like for them in their culture, it's like why would you ever put your mom or dad in a nursing home?
SPEAKER_00Like that it's like they took care of you for like a third of your life, and you're just gonna say, Hey, go into this home, I'll see you when I see you. I mean, it's not exactly that, but oftentimes that's what it is, and um but I mean, there's it's these days people have to work two jobs just to survive, and it's just a different time right now. But um, yeah, just show up for the ones you love. Like, don't it's I feel like the attitude recently for a lot of people is like, what have you done for me lately? Not they don't look at the big picture of you know, I don't know, there's just a lot of selfish attitudes, and you know, the older generation's kind of forgotten about and uh yeah, so it's probably good advice even for our parents that are or older people in our life, whatever family members that aren't you know quite nursing home level, but just we don't check in on them enough either, or friends that are our age that you let time pass and they mean a lot to you, but just to reach out and how you doing and what's going on, and you never know how you could help. And even like patience, too. I I noticed just for myself, I I have like no patience anymore. And working at the nursing home at the time, it would just slow you down. They talk slower, they eat slower, um, their stories they could turn a one-minute story into 10 minutes. It's every time slows down in there. And I noticed once I started this job, it was like I'm thinking like 10 moves ahead. I gotta go, go, go, go, okay. While I'm finishing this, I'm trying to get this thing done. It's like, and I notice my weeks go by, and like it's like I swear to god, yesterday was Monday and it's already Thursday, and it's it's kind of scary because it's like people need to just slow down and and be where their feet are and not future trip so much.
SPEAKER_01I've tried to really start this week and launch of the podcast this week, so trying to make some changes personally and professionally, and I've tried to take intentionally time in the morning before even looking at my phone to get outside, let the dog out, and just think a little bit before a work email or an update on a sports team or whatever hits my phone, kind of directs my attention immediately from the second I wake up, just to take some time, like you said, slow down. What what am I doing today? What do I need to be present for? What do I need to be thinking about? You know, that sort of thing. So I think that's outstanding advice. So uh lastly, outside of your your what you do for a daily living, I guess we could call it's a weird way of saying it. So you shared with a lot of us here at the office that you have battled addiction in your life. So um, why don't you, in your own words, why don't you share a little bit about how that chapter started for you and what that looked like?
SPEAKER_00I'm trying to think of when it I don't know like when it stuff, I don't think it started when I first took like a my first drug or drink or whatever. I think it started before then, just with um like mental health stuff, like anxiety and um you know I I don't even know like where it officially started, like because it's not really like like yes, you can be addicted to like drugs and alcohol and stuff, but like the mentality of an addict started probably years before that. Um it probably started though like when I was really young and my parents got divorced, and you know, my dad would you know he was a drinker, and I remember being one of the kids at the bar till like 1 a.m. with other kids, you know what I mean? Um so I'm sure it started sometime back then, but like the drug use probably started in like ninth or ninth or tenth grade. Okay. I had like buddies who uh would you know smoke weed and then um and then I wanted to fit in and be cool, so I started smoking, even though I hated it. But it was always that like trying to trying to fit in and be cool and be perceived as like the cool edgy guy. I I cared a lot about what people thought of me. And as I've gotten older, I've I've like completely detached, not completely, because everybody cares a little bit, but I've detached a lot from that mentality, and I'm trying to like instill in my son that like because even right now he's four years old and he gets like nervous about taking his shirt off in front of people, and I'm like, dude, we're at the pool. Like, what are you talking about? And you're four, and you're four, yeah. That too. It's like I was like, you look great, like their opinion doesn't matter. Like the biggest thing that I wish someone would have told me is like, hey, don't be afraid to be embarrassed. That's like such a such a like uh profound thing. I remember I heard that and I was like, don't be afraid to be embarrassed. It's like that's I I think embarrassment is like an underutilized uh um feeling like to manage embarrassment, like you could do a lot with that. Yeah. Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Well, especially if you weren't scared of embarrassment, you would what wouldn't you do?
SPEAKER_00You could take, yeah, you wouldn't worry about like you would be your true self, like if, or at least for me, like I I would be, I don't even know what I would do, but I've start a podcast. Yeah, start a podcast. Um, I've definitely yeah, I I don't know. I don't even know what the original question was, but well, when you started the chapter of addiction.
SPEAKER_01So if it so high school-ish, so where did that take you then? What was uh like your worst days of addiction? What did it mean what drugs or what?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, my dad, I mean, before my dad even passed away, I was, you know, Xanax and you know, painkillers and whatever pills I could find, really. It's like whatever that whatever thing that could like take me out of reality. Um, you know, because at the time, like during my worst, like I didn't have a job. I was living with my mom in her two-bedroom apartment. Um, I was single, I had lost my license because of DWI, you know, and she's a flight attendant, so she would fly, and I would just like sit in my pajama pants all day and just play video games and just horrible, like the most depressing. It was like it was awful. I think I was like 20, like early 20s, and it's like that time you're supposed to be like, you know, friends were getting out of college, and they're you know, uh like starting their new career and all these things, and I'm sitting in my mom's apartment, you know, just miserable, just degen uh degenerate. It's horrible. So what got you out of that was this? Um I ended up going to treatment and that I I went twice. The first time was kind of like I don't know, it was fine, and it kind of like planted a seed in my brain, like, oh, this is possible, and I I know this like the plan now if like this ever happens again and like what to do and coping mechanisms. And then once I like relapsed a few years later and went back to rehab, and that's when I kind of like started, it was more manageable, and I started going to meetings. Um I made friends with people who had the same goal of staying sober. And really at the time it was like drugs and alcohol, not so much alcohol, but like drugs were like it was like I just felt miserable. I didn't have a good job, I was I didn't have anything going for me. Lack of purpose, yeah, exact totally. And so it was like, why not? Like, why wouldn't I take drugs? It was kind of like my mentality. Yeah, I mean it kind of feeds itself at that point.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like you're it's cyclical. You're depressed, you're take the drugs because you're depressed, and then the yeah, it made sense.
SPEAKER_00And it's like why I just want to feel good. Yeah, I don't want to feel how I I don't want to feel how reality is right now.
SPEAKER_01So pills were a problem for you mostly, it sounds like.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, which is crazy because now when I fly, I take Xanax and it's not a problem. And I think it's because uh like back then I was just lost. Yeah, your mind your mindset's shifting. Totally. Now that I have a kid and the job, it's I don't know. Not that having a job is like my whole identity, but like I just felt like I was contributing to society. I'm adding value versus yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, and the purpose that we spoke of, that's a big point in anyone's life, is you you know, we're both fathers, and it's amazing what we we earlier when you walked in my office, we talked about soccer, and like I didn't like soccer for 41 years of my life. I didn't dislike it, but it was you know another sport that I could take or leave. But now my kids started, my daughter started last year, my son and daughter played this spring and summer, and now it's like I I soccer couldn't be more fascinating. I still like football and basketball more, but it's crazy what your kids and and those inspirations of purpose will do for you. So that's great to hear. So what do you think for someone now? I battled with my own addictions personally, alcohol mainly, but also gambling. Um, what would you say in your life, like people that don't deal with addiction, what do they usually get wrong about some of the things that you and I have dealt with?
SPEAKER_00Like misconceptions or oh, um I mean I've tried to get sober. Like I'm not I wouldn't even say I'm sober now. I just don't do like I I don't know how to like the No Well I I'm sober now, but like I'm not like in recovery, I would say. But I like don't it doesn't interest me at all like it did back then when I was miserable. But um for people that are like wanting that are struggling, the biggest things that helped me was finding a community of people that wanted the same thing. Comfort was like the worst thing for me because like if you need to get sober or you want to, like you need to take risks, you need to put yourself out there, you need to either go to treatment or start going to meetings. You don't have to do that, but like I've tried white knuckling it before where it's like I'm just gonna get sober and I'm just gonna keep going on with my life like it's normal, even though I have like no coping mechanisms or way of like dealing with my own mental shit, and it's way harder. Um but yeah, find some AA meetings, find a good group of people, sponsor, um, start writing stuff down. Um I mean, this is all like it's a lot of that's like a big mountain of things that you have to do, but like just start doing one, like go to a meeting and just check it out and see if it's for you. Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Let's end it on your son, because I know when we talk about different things as you and I talk on a weekly basis, you mention your son a lot, it comes up, my son and daughter daughter come up a lot for me, and you can tell we're both happy, proud dad. So, what is your favorite thing about your relationship with your son? What makes your heart just smile?
SPEAKER_00He is like the I I know everybody's like, Oh, I have the greatest kid. I swear to God, he is the best kid that's ever existed. I I know that's like standard dad bias, but it's good praise. He uh he just was born like that too. Like he's sweet, kind, caring, funny, uh smart, athletic. Like he's just the total, and he's so freaking cute, dude. It sucks. Um but yeah, even yesterday there was this kid in Target that was screaming bloody murder, and I was just thinking in my head, like, my kid would never do that. And I and I wouldn't allow him to, but um, I'm just as much as I want to think like I've taught him so much, and I think he's taught me like way more than I could ever teach him. I feel like I'm like reliving my childhood and correcting things that maybe my childhood like got wrong. I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah, and uh it's just I don't know, I don't know. He's just the best. I I don't it's kind of like the nursing home where like I'm having a bad day and I get to the nursing home and that just turns around. Same thing with my kid. I'm you know pissed off in traffic. I get home, I walk through the door, dad! Dad's home! And it's like I feel like the most popular kid in school. Like, fuck yeah, dad's home. Like, you know what I mean? It's just the greatest thing. It's it's I've heard this quote, sorry, I'm like going off, but like um, I heard this quote that's like uh having a child, it it opens up a whole other level of love that you never knew you had. Like the people that are like, oh, I don't want kids. I have a dog, it's like you don't even get it. Yeah, it's not even close. Like, yeah, and I'll say that. What about you though? Sorry, I kind of went off.
SPEAKER_01No, I think my feelings echo yours. So we'll have to battle for best kid alone. No, I know. I have two of them, so I got a three-way battle between the two. Um no, I agree totally. I I just had a last week there was a couple days where I was dealing with mortgage loan issues, you know, which is most of my I mean, even my weekend days, a lot of times, I'm dealing with those, and sometimes they can get really stressful, and you're working on a loan, and the underwriter's not getting it, or or whatever the thing is. And my son came home, I was working from home that day, and my son came home from his summer daycare, and I immediately just felt like a wave of like I was still dealing with those things, and there were still unresolved issues that I knew I'd have to take care of tomorrow. But there was something just about his presence that I immediately was just like, oh, yeah. Like, all is kind of like you walk into the nursery home, I would imagine, like nursing home, nursery home. Um, you know, all is right with the world, like these loan issues aren't that bad. This loan will probably be closed in three weeks with no problems anyway. When I'm 80 in a nursing home or 90, 100, hopefully, I won't be thinking about this loan, but I'll be thankful for him. Yeah. And you know, the relationship we have, and hopefully he comes to visit me then. But no, I totally agree. It's amazing how they just, you know, it's like all the best of you, and then parts of the worst of you. Yeah, just they love that. I I was one of those dog people that you know me. I bring Griffe into the office here. Great dog, by the way. I love that dog. Thank you. Greatest dog ever. Um, but I, you know, I always thought that about dogs. Like dogs are great, they're like kids, they're and I I've loved every dog that I've ever had. Of course. I think more than the other, like I am very if any of my friends they'll you know, they'll tell you, like, Matt's obsessed with dogs. And then it was like I had kids, and I was like, oh, like you said, it's just a different love. It's like I I love them more than not only like myself or anything else in the world, it's like I love them more than I thought was even possible to feel. Right. Yes, it's exciting. I mean, they're helps keep us grounded as yeah, stupid young men.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's like you were saying, like about the mortgage thing, like, oh man, the pre-approval and the you know, the um AE, whatever you're saying. And then it's like your kid is like, hey dad, let's go play soccer, and it's like, yeah, soccer. Like, let's, you know, it's just all the little things like I've you know, I have a bill this Friday, I have to do this and this and this, this, and my kid's totally present, and like, hey dad, look at that bird. It's like, you know, it's just like, oh, oh yeah, there's a bird. You know what I mean? It just brings you back down to where you are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, my son Isaac, he has very strong comedic timing. So it would be it could be a situation like that instead of a bird, it's like, hey dad, do you want to smell my belly button? Or can I smell yours? And I'm like, what? No, but it's an it's an excellent, like redirected button like your belly button. Actually, he's usually trying to smell mine, which I'm like, absolutely now. We're not doing that. That's so funny. You can try to close this loan though, but I mean the the you know, the gravity of that, like the you know, I I could be stressed out at work, but then he's asked me to to smell his belly button, and it just instantly, you know, puts everything in perspective. So yeah, kids are the best. No, they're amazing. Yeah, well, thank you, Jake. I think that's all we uh we're gonna go over today for your work. Yeah, that was great. Your work life and easy life besides business. Yeah, it was fun talking to you. So we'll have you back on, I'm sure, when we have uh subscribers. Yeah, million views or subscribers, whatever comes first. So thank you for taking time out with us. We appreciate it.