S10 E219 - Our Greatest Lessons Come Through The Hardest Trials

Pastor Tim Helland joins host Wendy Jones on Next Steps 4 Seniors: Conversations on Aging to discuss how faith and perspective can transform the way we face life’s trials especially while caring for aging loved ones. Drawing from personal experience as a caregiver and a father, Pastor Tim shares how biblical truth brings lasting hope in the midst of grief, stress, and uncertainty.

He reflects on the emotional and physical toll caregiving takes—citing that 70% of caregivers over 65 die before the person they care for and emphasizes the importance of spiritual resilience. Using Scripture like James 1:2 (“Consider it pure joy when you face trials…”), he explains how true blessing is found not in comfort, but in trusting God’s eternal kingdom.

This conversation offers encouragement, reminding listeners that real hope isn’t in this life alone, but in the life to come.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is Next Steps for Seniors with your host, Wendy Jones. Each week, Wendy brings resources and information to help guide you through those next steps with elderly parents and loved ones. If you have questions or topic suggestions, you can call us at 248-651-5010.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Hello and welcome to Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging. Wendy Jones here as your host and my guest in the studio because every Friday we focus on the spiritual emotional components. We have a pastor in the house today. And it is Pastor Tim Heland. He's been with us many times before, and I'm so blessed to call him a friend. Thank you for being here, Pastor.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Thank you, Wendy. It's great to be here. Looking forward to this.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

Yes, very thankful for you. Our topic today is facing a trial. And who's not facing a trial of some sort, right, Pastor?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

It's every day.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

It is literally those of you who are listening to the program that are caring for somebody right now, that are in the throes of it, you're exhausted, you're overwhelmed, you don't think you can get through one more day. This program is for you because there is hope and there is a way to get through it. And it could, it could not, maybe it's something else. Maybe it's a child or maybe it's something else. We happen to be focusing on seniors and the elderly population and all the trials we go through, but it could be anything right now that you're facing. And that's why Pastor Tim is with us today. So thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

And I want I want everyone to know that I'm not I'm not just talking from a biblical perspective or a pastoral perspective. I'm talking to you as a father and someone who has kids who are in the military and as a son who cared for both of his parents. Both my parents, you know, and through the the aging process in a home. Right. So uh this is not just sympathy, it's empathy.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Amen. Amen. And I was there with him through this time. I remember specifically all the days and nights. Oh, yeah, you. Next steps for seniors, yes. So so, Pastor, what what how would you encourage anyone listening today who is just in the midst of a trial, whatever it might be?

SPEAKER_01 2:12

I think we need to um have a an adjustment of our perspective, which helps adjust our attitude, which then begins to help us modify our emotions. And and if your expectation is for a life that doesn't have any problems, you're instantly going to be frustrated because that doesn't have to be. Unfortunately, yeah, you know, the way that the world turns, it creates storms, and storms create interruptions and interruptions that you know that all of this. So we get diseases, we get natural disasters, all the things that have. And for heaven's sakes, being a 65-year-old now, don't be shocked. Uh, but I I I am time go. Oh, I don't I don't want to talk about it. Oh, I'm feeling depressed. But but that's what happens. We age, and aging, you don't get stronger, you don't get healthier. It it the the this You get wiser, you do get wiser, but the physical and oftentimes the emotional trend is down. We see it as down. But it's because our expectation, especially in this 21st century, the the context of our culture and society, is we we we have embraced youth, beauty, wealth, uh, good feelings. Um, you know, make sure that on all accounts, whatever you do, satisfy yourself. Those are very destructive principles to live by because they don't work. You we're gonna have problems. You know, one thing that I wanted to use as a spring forward to for today is when one of the first messages that Jesus preaches very early in his ministry, it's called the Sermon on the Mount. It's the it's the greatest sermon ever preached, and it's Jesus preaching.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

And and in that sermon, he gives us um seven principles. And if you just read the principles, he says, Blessed are those who are poor, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are those who are meek, blessed are those who hunger and thirst. Listen, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop. That's the opposite of blessing. But what Jesus is saying is I want you to readjust your focus of why you're here. When he says, Blessed are those who who are poor, when we as we start today, when you realize that spiritually and morally, you're bankrupt on your own, you stop looking to yourself or other humans to feed what you need. In our quest to come alongside someone and help them, if we come alongside them in any other condition than drawing, receiving, and be fortified by Christ through his word, we're going to be less than completely successful.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Amen. No doubt in the world. Exactly. And it's so it's so critical for us to recognize because we're in the physics, we're in the natural. We're here in the natural, we're having a conversation right now, you're listening, and whatever is going through your head, it's all really happening in the in the natural.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

You know, I was I was in the the pastorship when my mom died. And I remember, I remember on a Sunday morning, being ready to lead, you know, a few 1,500 or so people in prayer on a Sunday morning. One of those prayers was my mom and she died. And I remember thinking, how is this fair? How is the person who's who's supposed to be leading the example of faith and prayer standing here realizing that the the most important need to me will never come true? And and then that all of a sudden you feel your this tanking of emotion. You you feel this this draining of energy and the the zest and the zeal for life and and a lot of what we Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If if if all of my aspirations and hopes are tied to the immortality of humans, I am never going to be happy.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Nope, because we were created to live short lives and to pass away. I know.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Wow. And then and I remember thinking, God, no, no, no, no, no. You took them in the wrong order. Because my dad was older, my dad was sicker, my dad was he needed more care. But as you we've we've talked about this, you know, how often does the caregiver go first?

SPEAKER_02 6:28

70% of the time. If you're over 65, 70% of the time, the caregiver, because of what we're talking about right now.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

And I think this this leads to it lends to that because when you when you depress someone, it is not just emotional or even just psychological. There is such a real physical component to the change that even um, you know, the the physio, natural, the logic, the biologic changes in a person when the acids and the numbers, and I don't know all, but things get out of whack and it's horrible. So this is why we need to carefully not just assess what the emotions are, but why are we feeling them and how what is the best way to get this this boat turned around?

SPEAKER_02 7:16

And it's scripture.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Well, that's your answer.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Well, it's it's all in the Bible.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Absolutely, because therein lies the greatest source of truth. And and what what's um amazing to me, but not it's not I I absolutely believe it, but it's still amazing, is that this message is 2,000 years old and it rings every bit as true today in 2026 as it did in 30 AD.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

So let's look to this. Let's let's let's let's cling to this and and find um not just hope, but some very real answers in this today.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

So James 1, 2 is is a scripture that he's talking about. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Let's look at the cultural context here for a minute of the Sermon on the Mount. Now, this is where we're going in a direction, and we're gonna come to an understanding of why James wrote that in James 1. So Jesus is starting his ministry at a time when Israel and Jerusalem and the whole world really is under a very cruel Roman authority. The the govern the Roman government is the national, they're the big world power. It's pretty cruel, very oppressive. The disciples and and everybody following Jesus are looking to him to make a change. They're looking to him to overthrow Rome. He could have, but he's saying that's not where it's at. This world is temporal, it's temporary. Everything you see here, it's a it's a flash compared to uh, you know, you've heard me say it, this is the pre-life. What we call the afterlife is actually life. That's that's that's eternal. So Jesus, he, he, he's the first sermon he gives, if you took any other, not just minister, any other person who was going to start a movement, and your first statement was blessed are the poor, how successful would that be? Well, let's well, what else has he got to say? Okay. Um blessed are the blessed are the poor. Blessed are the meek. So blessed are the weak, so blessed are the poor, blessed are the weak. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst. So we no, no, no, those are all the things we don't. Well, what Jesus is saying here is until we can rectify the condition of humanity, we can't change it. So if you if you're looking for a life where there's no poverty, it's not gonna happen. It's not just physical poverty, it's poor in spirit. So people who are, what are they doing? They're mourning. So if you're looking for a life where there's no mourning, it's gonna happen. And it's not being surprised by these things, but but you know, the the the other side of each of these statements are um, he says, uh, blessed are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. So, so when the when we look to the eternal part, now the the best part of life is in front of us, way, way in front of us.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And when we get there, there will be none of these horrible emotions. So putting our faith in what's coming is what, and believing in Jesus Christ is what brings us to a place of being a part of his kingdom today. So when we come alongside people that need help, and and it can be anyone, but in this case, seniors, I have found, and you you were the one who showed me this 20 years, 24 years ago. We were doing 52.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

We go back just a little bit, a couple of years.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

We were handling about 52 nursing systems a month, right? And and we found that taking the gospel and coming alongside these folks and showing them the hope beyond this life was what changed those emotions. And it wasn't just helping them, it was helping their kids and their kids' kids. And it didn't just help them, it helped me.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Me, mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

And so so the way that I view life now is very different. And it's my goal is no longer just making sure everybody's okay, it's it's doing everything I can to make sure that they're a part of that kingdom.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

And you said it in the beginning, perspective, right? Because it when our mindset changes, everything changes. Because now our focus is kingdom work, our focus is heaven, our focus is the real life, not this temporal life.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Right. And and and now we're seeing it with so many people. I just uh uh I had a few of our folks that were giving blankets away a couple weeks uh with Ross. Yes, and they came, they were so charged up because of what happened in that exchange. And so coming back to this this message, which is it seems like the antithesis of positive reinforcement for humanity, because it's it seems like he's he's uh he's focusing on all the negatives, but he's saying, don't be afraid of these things. There's actually a blessing in all these things when you put it in kingdom perspective. Paul bought into this. Now, here's what's amazing to me we would see this as being highly ineffective. 50 AD, if if if you were alive in 70 AD or even 100 AD, and you say, What are the top five religions in the world? No one would say Christianity. No one. You come forward from there about 70 years, and then from there all the way up to today, it's the story and the message, and it's not just the story, and it's not just the message, but the reality and the truth of Jesus Christ has radically transformed culture. That's why time is split by the advent of Christ, nothing else. So, so each of our lives can have that change. So, how do I adjust my attitude? Bring Christ into this equation. Look at what you know. Paul ministers, James and Paul were writing to each other, and James gets to the place where he can say, uh count it all joy. And he says, pure joy, ultimate joy can be found where? In suffering. I'm gonna point forward a little bit, but but you know, we have a word that we've misappropriated grossly called passion that we we attach to whether it's dating or marriage or relationships or whatever, and we we see passion as being this great thing, but but in the reality, historically, the word passion is suffering. So when you when you come alongside your suffering loved ones, your your parents, whoever they are, and you you you join in with them, it's it it really is it's the most visceral um expression of passion because you've joined in their suffering, and just by virtue of coming into that with them and walking walking alongside them, yes. The first the first emotion that changes is theirs, and seeing their emotion change changes ours.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

I've seen it it's it Jesus walks alongside us every day. And when your parents are lonely and isolated and they can't do what they used to do, just wrapping your arms around them and walking alongside them changes everything for them.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yeah, and you know, I found two ears, one mouth. You know, I'm I'm the opposite. I talk at least twice as much as I hear.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

God gave us two ears for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

I already know what you're gonna say. But but you know, how much listening does God do of me bipping, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:55

All of us, really, not just you.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

But but how important is it for these aged loved ones to have someone there who will just listen without reaction?

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Amen. Amen. So if you're going through it today, we just encourage you. We're here to encourage you. Lean on him, know that he's there, and true life is really on the other side. Thanks for tuning into Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging every single Friday. We'll give you a new fresh word of hope, encouragement, because there are trials out there, but it's how we go through them. It's all about perspective, and it's all about our Lord and Savior being with you through it. Thanks for tuning into Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging.