S10 E211 - Finding your Voice Later in Life

Can creativity actually help us heal from trauma and build a lasting legacy? In this inspiring episode, host Wendy Jones sits down with Sheryl Hauk, a retired music director of 41 years and the award-winning author of Piece by Piece: A Memoir of Survival, Resilience, and the Power of Creativity.

Sheryl shares her deeply personal journey of overcoming childhood trauma and navigating life’s unexpected hardships—including her young son’s terrifying medical emergency. She reveals how a shattered LEGO Millennium Falcon became a beautiful metaphor for rebuilding life "piece by piece."

Whether you consider yourself an artist or not, Sheryl explains how everyday acts of creativity from gardening to storytelling can trigger healing endorphins, combat stress, and even help stave off neurological conditions as we age. Tune in to learn how to reframe your past, find stillness in a busy world, and give yourself the ultimate permission to be creative.

Key Highlights in this Episode:

The Origin of Piece by Piece: The touching story of Sheryl’s son and how a shattered LEGO set taught her that broken pieces can always be rebuilt.

Creativity as Healing: How engaging in creative acts (like music, decorating, or cooking) releases endorphins that counteract cortisol and support brain health.

Reframing Trauma (PACE): Sheryl shares a thrilling story from the French Riviera to illustrate how trauma-induced traits, like hypervigilance, can be repurposed as life-saving strengths.

Leaving a Legacy: Sheryl’s 15-year legislative advocacy journey in Hawaii for childhood trauma survivors and the special moment she shared with her grandson at the state capital.

Everyday Creativity for Seniors: Practical, accessible ways to embrace creativity, such as raised container gardening and sharing stories of the past.

Resources & How to Contact the Guest:

Visit Sheryl's Website: Shesherylhauk.com

Read the Book: Grab your copy of Cheryl’s International Impact Award-winning book, Piece by Piece: A Memoir of Survival, Resilience, and the Power of Creativity, available on her website and on Amazon.

Podcast Schedule: Tune in to Next Steps for Seniors with new episodes dropping twice a week at 7:00 AM!

Every Tuesday: Educational and insightful content to help you navigate the practical steps of aging.

Every Friday: Spiritual and emotional support to encourage your heart and mind.

Be sure to subscribe on Apple, Spotify, IHeart Podcasts so you never miss an episode, and if you enjoyed today's show, please leave us a rating and review!

Learn more : https://omny.fm/shows/next-steps-4-seniors-with-wendy-jones

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is Next Steps for Seniors with your host, Wendy Jones. Each week, Wendy brings resources and information to help guide you through those next steps with elderly parents and loved ones. If you have questions or topic suggestions, you can call us at 248-651-5010.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Hello and welcome to Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging. I am so incredibly blessed to be here today and to share a story with you. We have Cheryl Hawk in studio with us today, and she is an author. She is also a retired music director whose 41-year career left an indelible mark on generations of students. She has sung all over the country and at Carnegie Hall. So I wanted to share with you her book, and it is called Peace by Peace, and it's a memoir of survival, resilience, and the power of creativity. So our program today is titled Permission Through Creativity. So I'm excited to have you here today, Cheryl. Thank you for being here. Oh, thank you. I'm so excited to meet you and to talk to your listeners. Well, I'll tell you what, creativity is a big thing, especially as we age. And you have a lot of experience and you've gone through a lot in your life. So we're here to glean from you and learn from you. And your book, incredible, by the way, Piece by Piece. How did you come up with the title of that? I love the name of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Well, it comes from a story. I'm a storyteller of my son. When he was nine years old, we found a tumor in his head that was the size of a softball. And um, we uh the story will tell you about how we went and thought it was just tonsils needed to be taken out, and we were taken to this little room, and and uh just a regular little surgery turned out to be 24 hours of surgery at U of M.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Oh my goodness. Yes, I am so sorry.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Except for they were fantastic at U of M. And we came home after they took it out and cleaned his head up and put it back together. It was an experiment, but it worked. And um what we noticed is while he was really suffering, we didn't know how bad he was suffering, he was building Legos, really incredible Legos, like the Millennium Falcon. And he was just building these thousand-piece Legos at eight years old. And so my husband had built shelves in his room and we put the Legos on the shelves. So when he came home from the hospital and our life is getting a little bit back to normal, I thought, I need to clean the house. You know, so many of us from our generation, that's what we do. We clean our house.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Well, especially when we're in turmoil or we need to like kind of absolutely it's therapy.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

It is therapy, and we want to get everything uh in in, you know, it's kind of like a pregnant mom nesting sort of. So I went and said, okay, I'm gonna dust these Legos and shelves, and instead of being smart and use a f feather duster, I picked up the millennial falcon and I just dropped it and it just shattered to the floor. And I thought, how can I do this to this child who had just been through so much. So much. So I turn around and there he is standing in the doorway, and he's smiling. This is a kid who's who's white as a sheet, lost nine pints of blood, and he smiles and he goes, That's okay, mommy. We'll just build something new.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Oh we all have something to learn from that. Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_03 3:46

Yes, and I thought he is absolutely right. He's he's seen death, he understands that sometimes we have shattered pieces and we need to build again and just piece by piece. And and so that is where I got uh the title piece by piece.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

And the impetus behind the book?

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Well, it's a memoir. So it's about you know me not having such a great childhood and also some real challenges because of my childhood and just building back piece by piece, just taking taking those things, those creative things, those pieces in life and rebuilding. It's also about sometimes people kicking those down and having to start to rebuild again, like when my son had a tumor. So, you know, it's about my story started when I was born. And so I didn't really have someone break my pieces, but giving pieces that were were really broken. Uh a Hawaiian word where I'm from is called kapakai, just weird. And how do you put that together and build a future? And how do you go on every day? Um, and how are you resilient? And I found that in creativity, uh, playing the piano, I found that in um gardening, in decorating. I love to decorate.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

And this is and this is why the title, right? Permission through a creativity. So we want to encourage our listeners as we're aging and as we're going through life, there is some kind of um creativity brings a lot to our lives.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Absolutely. And people think they're not creative, but there's so many types of creativity that that can help you.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Right. Well, let's let's talk through some of those because I want to encourage our listeners. You know, creative creativity plays such a big role in your journey, specifically. I mean, this your son, I I can't even imagine going through that alone, not alone a difficult childhood. So you were able to turn this around by encouraging yourself with the creativity.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

So the only picture in the book is of me of 18 months sitting at a piano, playing, playing the piano. And as I went through my childhood, I was always creating music. I was always singing, I was always dancing, I was always trying to find the beauty in in life instead of the darkness that often was there. Um, so sometimes uh we're not even aware of how we're coping, right? I I can't say that 18 months I was creating because I was trying to cope. But as I aged, I found out, you know, it was a coping mechanism, and I was building. And when I was writing the book, especially, people ask me, well, why did you write it at your age? Well, it's because people wanted me to write it, and it was in my head for so many years. But I was starting to figure things out. And one of those things I figured out is all the coping mechanisms I'd had that I didn't really even realize, like gardening, like decorating. I I have decorating with Legos and decorating are two chapters in the book about how I use those as coping mechanisms. Of course, singing and playing the piano and creating legislation that wasn't there in my advocacy.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

That and that's fantastic because I really feel like our listeners who are coping, right, and don't realize they're coping. I want to sit on that for just a second. What are some examples of that that they that they might not recognize?

SPEAKER_03 7:26

So some of us who um have gone through uh childhood trauma, we cope to survive and we don't know what that looks like. Um for some of us, especially from our generation, means we work and we work and we work and we work and we work, and we don't let our brain sit for just a moment. And sometimes the brain needs to sit to create. Um, and and that's really important. This is good. Um, we don't always know that our voices in there that we haven't shared with ourselves, not necessarily with the world like I do, but with ourselves because we work so hard or we do things and keep busy so that we don't have to think about it.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

So you're kind of covering up the emotional component of it and keeping yourself busy doing other things.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

And the creativity gives your brain time to process.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

It does, and to know who we are later in our lives. Um, you know, I I just was surviving for probably 60 years. And um that that was good. I mean, I I accomplished a lot. I had four children, five grandchildren. You wrote a book? I wrote a book, but um I I needed to know who who I was. And um, so by creating it gave me that that process, that time to understand who I was and write the book.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

So we just want to encourage our listeners right now who may be coping with something, any of the above that you just talked about, that you can spend some time in that space, right? And just take a break, whether it's a day or a retreat of some sort. I've heard of these retreats where you go on and there's no talking, no cell phones. How about that? No cell phones, just that alone would be like a fantastic thing. But we we just need to calm everything down and just cease for a second all the distractions that are in the world so that we can take time, time with ourselves to really process if there is something deeper that we need to address. And creativity is a great way to do it, it's a fun way to do it. That's what I like about it.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Well, we know it causes endorphins, and those endorphins heal us, not just mentally but physically.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

This book, by the way, so everyone knows, is brand new, came out in January 2026 and already won the International Impact Award. Yes. So congratulations on that. That's so very that's very impressive. What would you say, uh, as far as the book goes, your favorite chapter in the book?

SPEAKER_03 9:56

I think my favorite chapter is Honu. And the front of the book is a little turtle, and honu is the word for turtle, sea turtle. And I talk about how sea turtles have come into my life physically on the beach in in the water and taught me wisdom, but most importantly, patience, which I'm not very good at.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

So the creativity component of that as well. Yes, absolutely. Because it's it's a a little pretend little turtle at the same time. Yes, yes, it is. Yeah, this is great. Well, we all have to use our imaginations and to be creative. We have the ability, but do we really do it? Right. Right. So I love that. Is there a website you can share with our listeners, or how do they order the book?

SPEAKER_03 10:39

Absolutely. So it's my name, Cheryl Hauk, S-H-E-R-Y-L-H-A-U-K.com. Again, CherylHauk.com, or they can find it on Amazon, piece by piece, a memoir of survival resilience and the power of creativity.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

And if you've been through something, this is the book for you. And who hasn't, right? You're listening to Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

We'll be back in just a moment with a few more stories. Welcome back to Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Wendy Jones here with Cheryl Hawke. And our topic today is permission through creativity. And I love the creative conversations we've been having already. It's so fascinating to me because at the end of the day, we don't leave enough. At least I don't. I don't know if everybody's the same as me, but we don't leave enough space for creativity and imagination and using our brain in very unique and different ways. And there's studies actually that say when you learn something new every day, and if you do different things, that you're actually expanding your brain and potentially staving off Alzheimer's because you want to keep pressing and learning and doing and not get complacent, right? Because we tend to all do that as we age. So this is exciting for me to have you here.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

So thank you. I'm so excited to be here. And and you're talking about that brain, also your body, as we get older, um, our bodies have neurological conditions. I have five, in fact, um from childhood trauma. But we know that that creativity when we're making music or we're gardening, it causes endorphins that counteract that cortisol. So there's not just Alzheimer's, but there's so many neurological diseases that this creativity fights. A lot of people say to me, How can you be walking around and successful and and happy with these these problems from your childhood trauma? And I really think it's the creativity, it's the making the music and being able to have those endorphins counteract those cortisol levels. You wanted to share a story about your grandson. I did. By the way, I didn't tell you. I had a new granddaughter three days ago. So yes, I'm very excited. But my oldest grandson is 11, and I thought it was time to take him home and share Hawaii. That's where I'm from. So him and I love how you say that, by the way. Here in the States, we're like Hawaii. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Say it again. It's so cool.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Hawaii. So that is that is the Hawaiian language, W's or V's. So um, so I took him for spring break this year for the first time. And many of you um as grandparents know how special that is. And we went and we did the normal things. He met his aunties and we went to the beach. And but I'd been doing some legislative work on um changing uh statute of limitations in the state of Hawaii for about 15 years. For children specifically, for children who were uh had trauma. Yes. Good for you. Um thank you for survivors. Um, and so my friend from high school is Speaker of the House of the Representatives in Hawaii. And she said, Sherry, you want to come over? I want to meet your grandson. And I'm like, great. So I take him to the Capitol in Hawaii, which is open air. If you read the book, you'll read how my students sang at the rotunda, which is open up to the air and and everything about this particular building. And we went up there and she said, I'd like to introduce you to the House of Representatives. We're gonna be in session in 10 minutes. I'm like, wow, what a what a great thing to share with my grandson. And we go downstairs and they recognize my grandson and his grandma for the first time. And what mother does not want their grandson recognized in the Hawaii. Absolutely, absolutely. And what a legacy, you know, we all talk about our legacies that we won in an older age. That's the legacy I wanted to give my grandson. So that's encouraging.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

That is very encouraging. And you have done so much. I didn't know about this legislative stuff that you've done. And so, I mean, looking at everything you've gone through from the beginning, I really feel like thank you for sharing now, because we're all learning from your trauma. You turned basically a lemon into lemonade, is what you did.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

I have someone on Amazon who wrote that about the book in a review. So that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

But let's use it for good, right? I mean, and this is just a perfect time to say it. Like uh everybody's gone through something at some point in their lives. You just happen to be sitting here today sharing it. Yes. Which is very noble of you because we're all learning.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Yeah, so I have a chapter called PACE, and PACE is uh positive and adverse effects of childhood trauma. Um, and I like to focus on the positive part. Um, and so because I have PTSD from that trauma, my positive part, one of those things is called hypervigilance. And many of you may have that, you just don't know. You know, you're always watching what's happening, you're hearing things sometimes that you don't want to hear. But for me, it's positive because I actually conduct a hundred adult member choir here in our community. And I can hear every voice. And they're like, Why can you hear every voice? Well, because that hypervigilance, that was a positive thing. Um, and I I tell a very funny chapter about my mother and me going to the French Riviera, and we went to Monte Carlo and got on this train, and this man had a black bag. Long story short, um, I kind of called out a terrorist. Um, it's a very funny story, but it's also serious that we can use those negative things that have turned positive to really do a lot of things. So I encourage you to read that chapter because it's funny, but it also helped me recognize that some of the things that happened to me as a child only helped me as an adult, and I don't focus on all the negative that it costs.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Well, and I think that's key right there, because it's very difficult. I mean, your brain has a tendency to always go to negative, everybody's. So I I love how you're changing that yes, that landscape. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

So um wait, what happened with the terrorist? You have to just tell us. Well, so um we're we're going, uh, it is the Monte Carlo Grand Prix, and the train's going to Cannes, which is the Cannes Film Festival at the same time. And our boat had to park in the middle, and we're we're going home on a train. A man walks in, he drops the bag, he starts walking away, and I'm like, You are not walking away. I'm an American, you can't walk away. He doesn't speak any English, but then he just stands there and freezes and then starts breathing. Anyways, my mother is like, you know, nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong. Anyways, I'm not telling them, but I'm like, mom, we have to get off the train. We have to get off the train. She's like, no, no, no. Finally, uh, two conductors come, they they kind of corner this man, they can see it it is a black bag. And uh, I want to get off the train, and my mom won't get off the train. She's 89 years old, and she turns to me and finally says, I have to go to the bathroom. So she gets off the trade. It turns out when we got back to the boat that they had found three black bags in between cons and Monte Carlo's.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

So they knew what to look for because you saw it.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

That that's right. And so I look at it as a funny way of identifying my hypervigilance and people thinking I was kind of crazy. I wasn't crazy. Um, but it can be a positive thing. It doesn't have to be a negative thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Exactly. Exactly. Let's talk about some creative things that we can share with people because they're what people who think that they're not creative can't think of anything creative, but you clearly can.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Yeah, there's so many creative, just even gardening and flowers coming up, or creating meals for the people that you love. That's that that's something so personal that you share that many of us do, and we don't recognize it as being creative. Or making a space uh for our grandchildren. You know, I have this little place under the stairs. Put some lights and some toys in there. That's being creative, you know, sharing a space that's safe for the people that we love. Um, and we don't identify that as creative, or really sharing um ourselves um with people and telling those stories of what it was like in the 60s and the 70s or even the 50s and and 40s that it's not like now. I mean, people around us don't understand we had no cell phones or microwaves or all of those other things. What was that like? How did we create the same sort of community without all of those things? And sharing those stories and passing them down is not just creativity, but it is our legacy.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

I love this part because I mean, even the phones, right? We used to use the phones where they would the rotary phones. Oh, absolutely. And and with the long, long cords, super long cords. So you would like go around the other side of the room so that your mom couldn't hear you when you're talking to your boyfriend on the phone. But like these are the things that these kids nowadays they're like, what? Yeah, what are you even talking about? Yeah. A phone booth, how about that? I mean, how many people listening to the program know know what a phone booth is? But but this is creative. I love it. I love it. Coloring, doing all these other things, writing, journaling. These are all ideas that you can take away from this program. And I love your gardening because then you see the results coming up later.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

Yeah, oh, yes. And it's so it's it's just the beauty of the earth. It's that the earth keeps giving, giving back to us if we let it.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

I wanted to let seniors know too. There are gardening where you can, it's called the raised garden. You can actually purchase instead of if you're like, I can't get down on my knees anymore, put it on your back patio, have a raised garden, and you can do some gardening without getting down on your knees.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Yeah, and you can do herbs and and small flowers and little tiny pots in your house, and you know, just uh put them by one window so that you don't have to move around. There's lots of ways to do it.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Well, I just want to encourage you to spend some time with yourself. I loved how you said that in the first segment. Just spend some time, a quiet time, and just really kind of resonate on your life and what you have, because I'm telling you, every single person has something that they can give back to the rest of the world. And you just might not know what it is yet. So I just want to encourage you to do that. Thank you, Cheryl. Thank you for being here and being bold and sharing your story with all of us and encouraging us in creativity. Thank you so much. You're listening to Next Steps for Seniors Conversations on Aging. If you know anyone that needs to be a little more creative, just say, hey, you got to hear this podcast. Subscribe and share it. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for tuning in to Next Steps for Seniors. Our podcast drops twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays at 7 a.m. Find us on your favorite podcast platform and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. To learn more about Next Steps for Seniors, visit us at Next Steps Number Four Seniors.com.