The Long Con: Meet the Players

Trigger Warning!!!!

In episode 2, we meet the players - the friends, family, and partners who became part of a story non of them realized they were living.

Phantom Mother - Fathers partner

Lap Dog - Father

Judas - Family

Whistle Blower - Will not disclose

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Toby and Ray Ray 0:00

Hi friends, it's Toby. It's Ray Ray. Welcome to Two Girls and One Mike. Season two, The Long Con: A Town Deceived. Episode 2.

Toby 0:09

Meet the Players. Oh, Meet the Players. This is your trigger warning. Sensitive things will be spoken about. My name is Toby. And this is my story. Can't wait. 2014. Um I'm 25 years old and I started dating somebody. I got pregnant right away, super fast. It was planned. I had prior to this had a miscarriage. Um, and I wasn't doing well. And I think he played on my mental health. Because I never used to like this person. So 2014, 25, pregnant right away with this guy who has already cheated on me a few times. But of course, because I'm pregnant, I have no idea what to do. I just we'll work through it. He's just confused, blah, blah, blah. Is what it is. Um, just for reference, we're gonna be skipping through this as fast as possible because there is a lot, but it is not the main part of the story. This is just to catch you up on who's who. So pregnant, uh, I'm about seven months pregnant now. Him and I are living in our own apartment and we get into a fight. I'm hormonal. I am just a rabid bitch. No. Yeah, I know. It's just crazy. So I go to my friend's house and I stay there for a couple nights. And now he's like, well, let's just have space, blah, blah, blah. I'll talk to you this night, not tonight. I'm going out with friends, whatever. So go to bed, and I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm having a full-blown panic attack. I know something's wrong. I need to go home. So I called my mother and I got her to come pick me up to drive me home. And this is the middle of the night. Again, everybody is sleeping. So get home, tell her to wait in the parking lot. I go up to the apartment, open the door, quiet as possible, slowly walk in, and I see him laying in bed. And I just kind of smile, a little bit of anxiety goes away. And then the closer I get, the more I realize there's somebody in bed with him. Shut up. I think the worst part was that she was 17 years old. Wow. Again, I was 25. He's seven months older than me. Wow. Um, so naturally, huge fight. I kick him out. He moves in with a mutual friend. We don't really talk. He's not helping me. I'm not allowed to work. I'm high risk. Um, I have to go on welfare. He told me it wasn't his responsibility to take care of me while I'm pregnant because the baby wasn't alive yet. And so went on welfare, moved to my own little place. And I think starting in November, he had started to come around more. Um, my first baby was due in January. So he started to come back. By January, he was living with me. January 24th, our first child was born. And by January 31st, we were back together.

Chapter 1 - Forgive and not forgotten

Toby 3:14

Nine months later, I lost my dad, and that changed the person that I am today. Three days after that, I'm sorry, two days after that, my first baby turned nine months old. And then the day after that, I found out I was pregnant with baby number two. Wow. Uh so by this time, there's already talks of for me. Um my dad's passed away now. I have two kids, so I can't use one birthday over the other. So whenever I get a new baseball jersey, it'll be number 31 because that was my father's number. Oh, love that. If you remember in the intro when I said to hold on to small details, that is one of the small details you should hold on to. 2016 rolls around and I'm very fat and it's the middle of summer and it's hot and uh get this thing out of my body. I am just not having it. And I have a toddler running around and I'm trying to fold laundry. So my baby daddy boyfriend takes the firstborn to the store. I don't even remember what he said he was going to grab, but they left. The baby was wearing shorts and sandals, no shirt. When they came back, baby was in a shirt. I said, Did you buy him a shirt? And he said, Yeah. And he tried to get the baby to come to me, but he's running around and I was irritable and said, If this is something offensive, I'll be so mad at you. But it was a shirt that said, Mommy, will you marry daddy?

Ray Ray 4:48

Oh.

Toby 4:49

It was actually an adorable proposal.

Ray Ray 4:52

That is actually quite cute. I love that.

Toby 4:54

This is the last day of June. So July 9th rolls around, and I no, I'm sorry, it wasn't the 10th. Yeah, July 10th. I went into labor and had my second son. Uh now important information is he was two days late. His due date was July 8th. These are numbers you're gonna want to hold on to. So we're gonna fast forward through some information pretty quick here. 2017, we get married. We are engaged for a year. 2018, I suffer another miscarriage. This would be miscarriage number six. So he didn't want me to have to go through that anymore. So he got a vasectomy, which is good. Yes. Especially that he cheats on you. Yeah, I know. Sorry. It's okay. 2019 rolls around.

Chapter 2 - Merry me! Date to remember: July 8th and the number 31.

Toby 5:43

We're going away to a women's ball tournament, and my coach's daughter, who lived in a different province, wants to come play, and she was a good friend of mine, and I was so excited. So I introduced her to my husband and then convinced her to move out here. She was thinking about it. Everybody went home, and five days before our two-year wedding anniversary, he said, Fuck you and our vows.

Ray Ray 6:11

Wow, that's upstanding.

Toby 6:15

I asked for counseling and he said that he didn't need counseling. I needed counseling, and I was fucked.

Ray Ray 6:22

Of course, that's what uh people like that do.

Toby 6:25

After previously stating that he fantasized about killing me to several people. That's to several people.

Ray Ray 6:31

Sounds just so betrayal.

Toby 6:34

Yeah. So she moves back, and a couple weeks later, I find out that they are together. Of course. Um, I would like to point out that there's four children involved with just her. Just her. And this is around the time, right? Just like a whole ass factory. This is around the time the pandemic starts. So going through a separation and getting that mental break from work in real life was kind of a godsend.

Chapter 3 - Once a cheater always a cheater - Introducing the Phantom mother (Once was a good friend).

Toby 7:08

Absolutely. Um, except for the only thing I could do was drink. And so I absolutely did that. Yeah. I absolutely did that. And I utilized my mother and another friend to help me with the kids because I was so overwhelmed. Um, and it was just terrible.

Ray Ray 7:27

It was it's not like counseling is free. No. They don't, doctors don't recommend it, which they should when things like this happen.

Toby 7:35

Yeah. And I mean, people get divorced, but I don't think people take it as serious. Like it does something to your mental health. It really does. Absolutely. Well, you you did love him. That's that's the whole thing. Yeah. That's and I did, and that was the thing is I loved him with every breath that I took. It wasn't perfect. And what marriage is right? I was very different after my dad died, and I didn't deal with a lot of my problems, and I did hide it with drinking, and then I would get angry and the trauma you were going to make grease so much trauma. And he's not an overly understanding human, and then verbal would turn into physical fights. And whether I hit him first or he hit me first, I lost that fight. It did not matter. It it did not matter.

Ray Ray 8:22

Yeah, that's that's what lose does too as well, right?

Toby 8:25

Yeah, so absolutely. So there was one night a big fight broke out after our separation. Uh, he was over watching the children because we were still sharing a residence, but staying there off and on. So when it was, yeah, like we never stayed there at the same time. But this night, I was very intoxicated. He knows how to talk. He got me back home. Things happened that I don't want to talk about. Um, and it ended up in him calling the cops on me and me being charged with assault. And so I got a one-year peace bond, um, which is a no contact, a no go, so I can't go to his house. I had a weapons ban, I had a probation officer, and I had to go to probation, and there's like homework involved in that. It lasts for one year and then it's off your record. So I did all of that. Um, well, started to do well.

Chapter 4 - Separation (Lap dog) period which caused trauma, includes more drinking and being physical to each other.

Toby 9:24

2020 rolls around uh March of 2020, and he decides he wants to come back. So through another friend, him and I started talking again. Um, I would like to point out that I was never the one to chase him, ever, ever, ever. Yeah, I didn't chase my fucking booze. I'm not chasing a fucking man. Devastation, absolutely letting my mental health go 100%, becoming crazy, you fucking know it. But to chase you, absolutely not.

Ray Ray 9:56

No.

Toby 9:56

So any single time this man has ever come back, it was his doing.

Ray Ray 10:00

Yeah.

Toby 10:01

So he came back uh for about a week. And on the last day of that week, he had gone to a mutual friend's house with the children while I was at work. When I got done work, I met them there. We're all hanging out, having a barbecue, kids are playing, it's great. He's already like in the bag, and then somebody's outside with their baseball team and they're practicing. So he goes out to talk to them because she's there.

Ray Ray 10:32

Now, what are we calling her again?

Toby and Ray Ray 10:33

The Phantom Mother. Right. Yes, yes. So the Phantom Mother is outside, so he goes and he speaks to her and he hugs her. We end up getting into

Chapter - 5 Lap dog comes back for a short period of time. At a BBQ sees Phantom mother and goes sees her while all parties are drunk and a fight start out.

Toby 10:46

a fight. Now, he says I hit him, which there's a great chance I did. Okay, but there was no marks on my hands. Um, but that's fine. Let's, for argument's sake, statistically speaking, I probably hit you. Yeah. Tired of your shit, tired of this fucking life with you. Yeah. Um, I don't remember much. I the doctor said it's a form of PTSD from trying to forget the trauma that happened, but it ended up with me being unconscious, unconscious on the floor and him on top of me, shaking me. Look what you made me do, you dumb fucking bitch. And that was recorded in a doorbell camera. That exact thing that he said. Wow. My friend's husband comes rushing out of wherever he was. I don't know if he came from downstairs. I don't know if he came from the bathroom, bedroom. I have like zero idea. And from what I'm told, he rips him off of me and throws him down the stairs. He takes off. Um, I won't know this till later, but an ambulance came to get me. They put me in a neck brace. I was in and out of consciousness. Uh, I lied about what happened. I just said I fell. And typical, he had snapped my glasses square in half.

Ray Ray 12:07

Wow.

Toby 12:07

Now, all the kids except for my youngest witnessed this. So go to the hospital, get treated. I, the one side of my body I couldn't feel for a while. Like I must have pinched a nerve or something, right? Like paralyzed seems like such a dramatic word because I am not paralyzed.

Ray Ray 12:25

Yeah.

Toby 12:26

But like I couldn't feel the one side of my body. So when my head hit the wall, must have been something. I jarred my neck, so I couldn't move it. And I was just like the headaches, the the night tears, everything was just, it was rough. It was really rough. Um, so sorry. Um so I get out of the hospital and I go to my mother's and I lay down on a bed, and she's just gonna take care of me until I can really go home.

Chapter - 6 Physical fight happens, knocks Toby unconscious sent to the hospital. Lap dog takes off. Door bell evidence (look what you made me do).

Toby 12:55

Now, baby number one comes into the room, and he I can feel him. I can't move my my head and my neck, but I can feel him. I can hear him whimpering. And he climbed on the bed and he carefully put his head on my sternum, straight where my heart is. And he said, Mommy, I thought daddy killed you.

Ray Ray 13:18

Oh god, that's heartbreaking. Um, I don't know how this guy is not in jail.

Toby 13:24

So I spoke to my lawyer, I called the cops, the cops got statements from everybody involved. They even heard the doorbell camera. But because we were all intoxicated, none of our stories could be what's the word I'm looking for? Liable, could be truthful, could be taken seriously. I don't even know. Something like they just didn't believe us, we were all drunk, so there's no good story here. Woman is didn't matter because I had already had a peace bond. I wasn't supposed to be near him. He could come near me, I couldn't go near him. But he came to you. He did, but because I allowed it and didn't leave, they threw everything out and slapped me with the breach of probation. This justice system is not so then my peace bond lasted over a year because of that. And then, especially with COVID and courts being shut down or minimal hours, it took even longer, and it it dragged. It absolutely dragged. So my son says, I don't want to see daddy anymore. He's about five. And I just I yeah, and I took it. So I was like, no, you're not, you're not seeing them. And uh he tried everything. Him and his girlfriend would come over, bang on the door, kick the door, yell, scream, cuss, like try and get in when they knew I wasn't there because I had to- I know. So I had an alarm system set up with cameras and they would go there, leave the vehicle running, and all the doors open and try and get a kid out. This

Chapter 7 - Moms house for recovery, cops were called and everyone gave statements but inadmissible as all parties were intoxicated. Lap dog and Phantom mother come and harass to take the children and they did not want to go. Camera evidence.

Toby 14:52

is a brittle. So I ended up taking the kids and moving to the farm.

Ray Ray 14:57

Yeah.

Toby 14:58

Uh, and we stayed there for quite some time. He didn't get to see the kids for seven months. Um, and then finally I moved back. Yeah. We were going through court like absolute crazy. It was back and forth, and everything was just I'm listening to what the kids say, and I ask them every single day. And the moment that I was told I want to see dad, I let them. And it started, you know, small visits, just a couple hours, just over the weekend, and I had full custody and I had final say,

Chapter 8 - The big move to the farm. Kids refused to see lap dog as they were scared. Finally the kids wanted to see their dad with full custody Toby brought the kids to him with supervision.

Toby 15:35

I had everything. Yeah. So now it gets to a point of she, okay. So my timeline may be a little confused on this one. So bear with me. But at some point in here, uh, she falls pregnant, and she's telling everybody that she thinks it's his because he never got his sperm tested. Anyways, um, that's interesting. Yeah, so she goes to the doctor, finds out that the baby is in the back. They push the baby forward. She's four months pregnant. It was not his kids. Long story short, it was not his kids. Um, so at this point, her and I are getting along. We are doing our best to get along, and I'm co-parenting through her because I'm not legally allowed to talk to him, and I need to co-parent through somebody. Seemingly getting along until I find out she's lying about one thing or the next thing, and it's just like none of these. It is what it is, though. Kind of try and smooth everything over. So it comes to a point where I'm offered a job at a camp. And in order to do it, we'd have to go 50-50, 10 days on, 10 days off. I agreed. So we went 50-50. Um, it was 50-50. I had final say, and he was to pay child support, but I never saw a dime until he paid every penny that was in the FMEP and then served me with papers to drop child support. I eventually just agreed I was done with court. I don't want to do court anymore. Drop the child support. It's fine, I'll figure it out. I got a good job. Let's go.

Ray Ray 17:09

How does a man get away with dropping child support? Like I just it it Yeah.

Toby 17:14

It's just even mandatory. Yeah. Yep. So she fakes me in my friend, she fakes me at nights. When the floods hit, she found a way to sneak across the border because there was like only one opening, and nobody was trying to tell everybody where it was because we had no groceries where we were, right? It was flooded. So she went across the border, and this is in November, um, close to my birthday. So she goes and gets food, brings it over, uh, which was super kind, but she also brought some shots because it was my birthday. So she stayed and she drank with me. And in this time of her telling me, I know, right? Like my addiction was fine with knowing with her knowing else. It's just so lovely. Yeah, it's so lovely. So she starts spilling little secrets as she drinks. And I've got my mom there who's listening sober, and I'm listening intoxicated, and tell me all the tea, right? And at one point she said, even when your peas bond's over, if he talks to you, I told him, I'll leave you. I'll leave him. Like we have children. We have children together. So so we roll around to 2022 now, and she texts me that she's pregnant, and she wanted to let me know before I heard from anybody else. They're so excited, and he will not stop telling people about it because he's so excited. And I remember my response being, oh, did he get reversed?

Ray Ray 18:44

He as and who again?

Toby and Ray Ray 18:45

The lap dog. Ah, right. Yes, the lap dog. Yes. So she says, No, he did not get reversed. Because sperm can magically change. Well, she thinks because he wasn't tested after me, that there's a possibility. And you know, she's fertile as fuck, she said. Oh, yeah. Because did you know if you're super fertile that you can revive sperm?

Ray Ray 19:10

Oh, yeah, it's like yeah, uh AED inside your vagina. Yes.

Toby 19:14

Yeah. So I find out she's pregnant. It is what it is. I don't think it's his. I don't. I how are you gonna tell me that you got fixed in 2018, slept with me till you left me for her, but then still slept with me again, but then still slept with her, but then still slept with somebody else because you at least cheated on her with one other person and she found out. And this is what he's called a lap. And the person who told her actually is somebody who will be dropped a little bit more later on in

Chapter 9 - Phantom mother pregnant once by someone else, 2nd time says by lap dog (confirmed vasectomy by the way). Baby daddy does not want to pay child support. Phantom mother spills the tea around non drinkers.

Toby 19:48

the story, but whom we will refer to as Judas. Yes, that's a so Judas told her Fantastic name that he was cheating. And I don't remember, I think this was either just before or just after Judas beat the shit out of the Phantom Mother in the bath bathroom at the baseball field. I remember that. I I got I got blamed for Yeah, you did. You were there. Yes, I I I got blamed for not being in the bathroom. I wasn't, um, but flushing her head down the toilet. Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, yes. That's that's it's a miracle arms that I have. I'm I'm very magical.

Toby and Ray Ray 20:26

Yeah, it's yeah, it's just I can't believe you did that to somebody. I know how um it's just the stories. So now she's pregnant, they're in love, he's getting fat. I lost all my friends pretty much. Not me. Um, not you. You stayed. And all my friends went to their side, stopped talking to me. I lost my baseball team because as much as they were my chosen family, they were her blood family. Um, so I had to move on from life and I started playing ball in other cities, but I started to get messages that she was wearing my old jerseys because I had packed them in his clothes when he left because I didn't want them. So she was wearing jerseys with my last name on it and my number that I had physically worn and sweat in. And also, like everybody has different bodies, yeah, but hers is a lot bigger than mine, so it was a little schnug.

Ray Ray 21:22

Yes.

Toby 21:22

Um, now other important details to hold on to for later. Yes. But they're living their best lives. I'm playing ball other places. I just got a new job. It is fantastic. I'm drinking like a fish, though. Got my kids 50% of the time, and I live in a beautiful house with a roommate. So at this moment, it's the calm before the storm. Wow. And that's pretty well what we got for this episode. I think that was well, well informed of who the members are for sure. Yeah, I hope it wasn't too confusing for anybody. I know there's a lot to it. I just kind of wanted to give an overview of how we got to where we are.

Toby and Ray Ray 22:06

Well, it's a good start to kind of figure out the the nasty of the story, I think. So yeah, thanks for listening, guys. Yeah. And remember, if you wouldn't say it in court, maybe don't say it on the podcast. Bye.