The Long Con - What We Missed

In this episode of the Long Con, hosts Toby and RayRay reflect on past experiences, focusing on themes of loss, relationship drama, and the complexities of co-parenting. They share personal stories that highlight the emotional turmoil of navigating grief, court battles, and unexpected financial challenges, while also emphasizing the importance of community support during difficult times. The conversation reveals the messy realities of their lives, filled with humor, pain, and resilience.

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Introduction to the Long Con

RayRay 0:00

Long Con, What We Missed. I'm Ray Ray. Welcome back to the Long Con. We're officially on episode four. And apparently three episodes weren't enough to cover everything. As we've been telling the story, we've remembered conversations, moments, red flags, and little details that we either forgot or skipped over or didn't realize were important at the time. And you're looking back at years of chaos, there are definitely going to be a few things that fall through the cracks. So today we're filling in some of those blanks. Some of these stories are funny now, but some definitely weren't funny then. A few might make you wonder how the hell we missed them in the first place. So grab your coffee, wine, or whatever gets you through this, and welcome back to episode four of the long con, what we missed. Alright. Where do we even start?

Toby 1:04

Hi friends, it's Toby. Well, we're gonna go back in time and remember some moments that go with some stories you've already heard. So we're traveling all the way back to 2018

Reflections on Loss and Grief

Toby 1:19

just to talk about my last miscarriage really quickly. Um, I remember when I found out I had come home and I was really upset and I was crying. And this was after baby number two, and the lap dog had asked me what was wrong, and I told him, and we sat there together and we cried, and this would be number six for me that I have lost, and it was just too much. So that's when he agreed to get a vasectomy, and I remember both of us, but especially myself, saying, I bet that was my girl. So now we're gonna skip over to 2019 after he had left. Um during this time, there was a lot of drama and bullshit between me and the lap dog and the phantom mother. And at one point, she had made a Facebook post. She shared

Drama and Chaos in Relationships

Toby 2:22

this meme, and she titled it when he leaves his white wife for a Latina, and then talked about being 30% thicker and 30% better. And wow. Yeah, that one's wild, right? First of all, you're definitely more than 30% thicker than me. Um also you're the Latina I'd get if I ordered off Wish. Like, stop it. So in 2020 now, um, in March of 2020, that's when he decided to come back. Now, when he decided to come back and he wanted his family back, um, she showed up at my house. The Phantom Mother showed up at my house and was banging on the door to talk to him. Wow. Because she didn't understand why he came back and how he could do this to her. And he was crying and just saying he just wanted his family back and she was losing it, and it was a total mess. At one point, I threw a can of Coca-Cola at him. At another point, he threw her on the lawn. Like it was a messy situation. So I don't remember. I think actually that night before she showed up was when I was on the couch with him and the whistleblower and babe. And he admitted to me that he did cheat on me with her before she moved back. Um, after the Nationals tournament that we had went to. So, in between there, at some point, they met in a parking lot and hooked up in his vehicle.

Toby and RayRay 4:01

Just so classy. It's so classy. Like, I'm gonna be with this person for the rest of my life because I had sex with them in a car. Right? Never soul mate.

Toby 4:13

Never have I said that when I was younger. So classy. So um, now, oh, just before that, sorry, my apologies. Him and I were speaking, um, and we were in the midst of court, and but we weren't supposed to be speaking, but we were speaking. So when we went to court, we actually went to mediation first. And I said I would like $650 for child support. And he said, No, $600. And the lady

Court Battles and Child Support

Toby 4:45

said, Well, there's a calculator. And I said, Yeah, the calculator says $1250. I'm asking for $650. And she gave me this look and I said, It's half of my rent. I said, He chose to leave his family and I need to figure it out. All I'm asking is for half of my rent. That's fair. And she looked at him and she said, I'd give her what she wants because the judge will make you pay all of it. He should have, anyways, right? So he agreed. So then uh while we're back together for whatever week, she's getting angry and the Phantom Mother, and she's posting my criminal records and everything I have in the court systems. She's posting online on Facebook for the world to see. Which, as I know, a friend of mine told me, you know, they're public, they're for the public to view. Absolutely, they are for the public to view if you go looking. The fact that she was petty enough to just post it, fine. That's important information though. Please hold on to that. I'm holding. It's gonna be a gooder. You just wait. I can't wait. So 2021 rolls around because we've already gotten past the point of the week that we tried to get back together did not work. So we're done in 2020, we're not together. But in 2021, he because he hasn't paid child support. It's going to FMEP, but it's it's just accumulating, you know what I mean? Like it's in their systems, but he's not sending them the money to send to me. So it's just over $4,000 at this point. And all of a sudden, I get a lump sum. I get it all. And I was like, whoa.

RayRay 6:31

That's crazy.

Toby 6:32

That was so wonderful. But that morning I get a text from the Phantom Mother, you going

Unexpected Financial Windfalls

Toby 6:38

to school drop off? And I knew it right away that I was getting served some kind of paperwork. So she met me there, served me with these papers because he wanted to drop child support. Oh, I can't even. Um, but he told me if you drop child support, you can keep all of the child tax. I won't apply for any child tax. And this is by word of mouth. Yeah. So this is by word of mouth and whatever. I was like, why not? I I'm done fighting at this point. So um, so that was good for that period of time. But we're gonna skip over now. It's September of 2023, and this was just after the Phantom Mother claimed that she had this stillborn. Um, and so the whistleblower actually threw her a fundraiser, a golf tournament. Um, it's supposed to raise money for time loss for work or for I'm assuming cremation fees and just help take care of just help take care of things while they're grieving because it's it's pretty hard to remember even to buy toilet paper when you're grieving, right? So doing whatever they can. And the lap dog took some time off of work because so it was to cover all those funds. So they got uh so the whistleblower spent between like $650 to $700 of her own money. Wow. Yeah. And like she like she got prizes and

Fundraising and Community Support

Toby 8:03

such, and she got a plaque made because when the phantom mother lost the baby, she got a stillborn photo shoot done in the hospital. So one of the photos, it was uh a foot of the stillborn, was made into this beautiful plaque. So the whistleblower paid for that, and then um people of the city actually donated a ton of things, including brand new golf bags for a silent auction. For yeah, so that the funds for the silent auction could could go to her. That's amazing. So um they got they raised just under $4,000, which that's pretty that's pretty good for a one-day tournament, right? So last minute kind of shit. Yeah, so she got she got those. Now in uh October, I had so a month after this, I had gone into the psychiatric care facility in the hospital, and so I didn't have my kids. So November 2023 rolls around, and I get a letter from the government stating that the lap dog and the phantom mother told the government, I have never had my kids at all, ever, not even 50%, since we split. And so they slapped me with a it was between

Government Issues and Financial Struggles

Toby 9:32

$40,000 and $50,000 bill. And I remember I felt faint. So now that means until that debt's paid off, there's no child tax, there's no GST, I don't get my tax return back, anything, government advanced workers benefit, anything like that.

Toby and RayRay 9:52

I am not getting ever how much energy does it take to just go after one person and the mother of your children. Yeah. I just can't.

Toby 10:01

Yeah. I did a lot of fighting on that one and got at least enough paperwork in to prove I did have 50-50. But then fact that you had to. But they cut it in half and I still owed the other half because it doesn't even matter that we make an agreement. The government's way is the government's way. So the way we did it was absolutely wrong. But I just trusted that it would be okay. I made the mistake of once again trusting the lap dog, which is wild because you know, fuck you and our vows, right? Yeah. So not the greatest. So now we're gonna move over to 2024. And now I know I think in all of this, as I was telling everybody, I'm only telling stories that affect me. Because I have been messaged several times about some shady shit the Phantom

Looking Ahead: Future Challenges

Toby 10:52

Mother has done, but it has nothing to do with me and my story. That is your story. Feel free to go tell it. It is very therapeutic. But I mentioned a story where uh there was a fundraiser tournament for Angel that the Phantom Mother threw. And then she had pocketed the money and Angel never got it. Yeah, it just blows my mind. It's blasphemy. It's absolutely blasphemy. But the reason why this involves me, it's 2024, and I think it's mid-season season-ish. And now I'm still sober at this point. Um, and it's Friday night, and I find out that I think it's Friday night or Saturday. My days are a little hazy, guys. I took a bottle of Atavan once. Um so he's fighting with her, and I don't know what's going on. I don't talk to either of them, right? Like I have zero idea what's going on, but he's trying to talk to me somehow, and he kind of stands far away and I listen, but I don't look at him because we have a no-contact order. He can contact me tech legally. I just can't contact back. I'm standing far enough away, like makes no sense. Because if he can contact you, but you can't contact him, how are you supposed to have like, yeah, I'm sorry, government. And I'm just saying, if people are listening to this, uh what does that how does that make sense to you that he can contact you, but you can't talk to him? So, what is the point of him contacting you or being able to? It should just be both sides, no contact. Like it just makes it simple. Like I'm not allowed to contact you, but you can harass me now. Yeah, how's that fair? Yeah. Good job on your laws. Everybody keep voting liberals, they're doing great. Yes, great. Thumbs up if you could see it. So he's trying to talk to me and he's telling me, you know, I need to keep the kids. Uh so at this point, I know they're fighting. I have no idea what they're fighting about. And I'm standing in between two fields, and all of a sudden, my youngest runs up to me and he gives me a hug. And he goes, That's from Auntie Whistleblower. And I look up and she's standing by the bathroom, she holds her hands out like a heart. And I just kind of like smirk, smiled. I didn't really know what to do because I was like, Is this a trap? Yeah. You know, because absolutely she used to be she my best friend, and then she was nothing. And then so I didn't know what to do. And she came up to me and kind of like blurted out her stuff that she was going through, you know. And and like it's like she needed to vent that out, and then she she cried a little bit, and I felt bad for all of her losses because her family was like my family, and it's heartbreaking, and she didn't really have anybody to talk to or grieve with, which unfortunately was her own doing, but she left you in that position. So I asked what happened eventually, and she said it's gotta come from him. It's gotta come from him. And I'm like, what the hell? What do you mean it's gotta come from him? Like, why can't people just tell me if it's involving my kids? So then a friend of mine um sees me on the Sunday and he comes up to talk to me. For the sake of this, we're gonna call him Honeybee. Okay. Honeybee is one of Angel's best friends, um, and he's the sweetest human. So Honeybee comes up. So he comes up to me and he says, Um, Toby, did you hear? I am so pissed. And then he just goes off about how Angel was jerked around with the tournament money, and she never got anything, and they had to contact Lap Dog, and people are reaching out. And so now Lapdog is like swearing on everything that he had no idea. And so he's like ready to leave her, right? Like he's he's absolutely done with her. Again, again, yeah, this is like 17 times. They're so great, but you can't keep us up hard. Hashtag FYP, whatever, shut up. Um about a week or so later, I brought my kids over to the whistleblower's house to see her kids. Because amidst all of this, the last thing I want is for the kids to actually be involved. Unfortunately, there are scenarios where the kids are involved in that sex, especially my kids. But I don't want them to lose their friendships. And because she's now no longer speaking to the lap dog, because he's not allowed to talk to her, right? So she decides to tell me everything. So I sit outside um her house with her, have a smoke, and she tells me every single thing that has happened, like what's happened with her, what's happened in the friendship. She tells me about the time that they got into a fight, and the Phantom Mother threw a whole can of twisted tea at the laptop in the car while they were all driving, got it everywhere, and she got out, and he's like, Oh, bet you're proud of yourself, Toby. And so, because he compared her to me, she got mad, hauled off, hit him in the face, gave him a black eye. I do remember that.

RayRay 16:22

Yeah, it was a good black eye.

Toby 16:23

It was a good black eye. I mean, when I punched him in the face, I made him bleed, but at least you got a little bruise out of it. Yeah, yeah. Good for you, girl. Yeah. So now, amidst telling me every single thing that happened, whistleblower also told me that the lap dog was not allowed to speak to her several times throughout the relationship of lapdog and phantom mother. But he made her aware of this and he said, I'll just unblock you when I'm at work or I'm not with her, and then I'll talk to you. Secrets don't work. Yeah. So even like he would be driving to work and unblock her, and it was the same thing every time. He'd text her, it was never a hello, it was freedom.

RayRay 17:11

That just makes me my skin crawl.

Toby 17:15

Yeah, it's absolutely ridiculous. So they're talking to each other on again, off again about everything. And in said conversations, this is everything the whistleblower is telling me. She's like, I double-checked with him about the tournament, said, can I trust her with the money? And he said yes. And you know, he said this wouldn't affect our friendship, and it's affecting our friendship. Like, I had to let him know what she's doing. Like, Angel lost $10,000 or more, $10,000 that we can absolutely account for. But I guarantee you there was more. Uh, they're talking about how the Phantom Mother is drinking and driving with my children, as well as hers. I remember that too. Um, and how she's been forcing my kids to call her mom and like just all these little things, all these details are coming out, so it's making me like matter and matter and matter and matter. I'm sober still, but I never dealt with my sobriety properly. I went to AA, but I was damned if I was getting a sponsor. And you think I'm gonna do 12 steps, and one of them, step nine, is I need to apologize to people. Why the fuck do I have to apologize to you? Because what you did made me react that way. So I was not in the right head space. So getting all of this information all at once, right? And I was so newly sober out of the psych ward, and it's just it's too much for me. And I let that weigh on me and I let that eat me alive, knowing everything that she's done to the people I care about the most, and my children and my closest friends, and I lost so many people because of this person, and she's just nothing but pure evil. How could she do this to Angel? How could people still talk to her? How is everybody okay with it? So I think that's pretty well everything that we've missed. But hold on to the things that you've heard because we're gonna be posting episode five tonight, and it's coming with a lot more juicy detail. Juicy. But I wanted to make sure I explained all of this to go along with the other stories before I started talking about what happens after I relapse. So stay tuned for episode five.

RayRay 19:53

All right. Well, thank you everybody for listening. Uh two girls, one Mike, and a whole lot more of the truth to tell.