The Farmer and the Blonde
Stephanie and Chris have been married 35 years, they own a wedding venue and Arbnb in Kentucky. Want to share how they have been happily married for 35 years with the hopes of helping others to find that happiness and longevity.
The Farmer and the Blonde
Dreams do come true
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Hello, happy Sunday from the Farmer and the Blood. And we hope you had the best week. We've had a great week. We've had a super, super busy week. What do you think, honey? Busy week?
SPEAKER_02It was busy. It was not the best week at work, but it was still pretty good. Challenging good week.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, challenging. We have a challenging week, but thank God we have each other to lean on. Boo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Live from the Christopher Farm. We're gonna send you some joy and we hope we give you some happy nuggets to get through your week because we have each other and we're so grateful, and we just want to give a little bit of our rainbows to y'all. So this to that we're gonna talk about dreams coming true. Our dreams really do come true. Dreams really do come true.
SPEAKER_01I love how you make up songs everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Dreams really do come true. That's how I feel. That's how I feel when we're going to this podcast today. I'm thinking that's how inside my brain I feel like like lots of Cinderella sparkles and that dreams really do come true. Okay, so we had talked about dreaming together. So now we're gonna, and we had talked about our farm, we talked about our Christopher, now we're gonna talk about how can partners work together when they're in a job together, have a business together. Not only do you are you when you're parents, that's your number one job, and we'll talk about that someday. We love being parents, but now we're talking about if y'all are out there wanting to do a business together or whatever it is that you're partnering together to do, that dreams really can come true. But I think the couple things that you have to have is you have to be in agreement, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00What else do you have to have? What do you think?
SPEAKER_01Uh patience, yeah, good communication, yep, openness, yep, uh, no ego, no ego, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So we're gonna tell you some stories about how we started with the Christopher and how both of our strengths, and at the end, now we are running like a well-oiled machine, but we're both leaders, right? Neither one of us are not a leader. So, and we're not saying that as a compliment, but you know your skills, right? But we're both servants too, right? So we two things can be true: six, seven, eight, nine. So we're both we're both leaders, but we're both servant, we both have a servant heart. Like I, Chris is a he's a servant to the and so am I, but we're both leaders, and we both have strong, wonderful, great wills that we use in the correct way to push ourselves forward and our family to be successful, and with that can come some kind of conflict, of course. But well, how do we get through it? So we can say we have gotten through getting a business together because we both had to run business separately. Like I was a personal trainer, I had my own business. Chris has worked for building businesses. Now I work for another company where I'm helping their build their business, and he's built another business with another company that we're not in charge of those, right? But with the Christopher, we are in charge together.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00So the thing that was amazing. Yeah, I know it's the best. So we're gonna tell you how we had our first weddings, which was amazing, how much fun they have been. We're gonna go through the whole first one, but that that a dream actually came true. So I want you to think about being married. One of you had a dream, the other partner jumped into it, and you already heard that story, but then it really came, and what was it like to do our first wedding for people who have never done it before, right? So we get the farm, and Chris was so excited. So he's nonstop work, he gave us a deadline. So you go ahead and tell how you and your mental game, you really encouraged us, and I don't want to say push, but really was a great leader that led all of us, including our boys, so we could do uh open house.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, we bought the house in July, I think, of two years. Well, we moved in in August. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because we gave them two weeks or something to get out. And we moved in like the first the last of July or first of August two years ago. And I just felt like we needed to push to get everything ready because I that's how my mind works, and I didn't want it to stretch out, so I gave us like September 9th, I think, of a date for an open house. So we pushed, and again, we we've still even done stuff this year, so it's not like done is not the word, but we wanted to get it painted, decorated, you know, at least.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but you had goals. So what was so great about Chris's leadership is he said he he saw things that I didn't see, so we started building this business together. He saw incredible things I have never and still don't think about. I think of some things that he wouldn't think about, and together collectively built something fantastic together, and not one of us, we definitely need each other to be successful, and I think that's the most beautiful thing about it. Like, so he gave us this timeline. I would have never thought of a timeline. I would have never. So think about when you're building a business and you think of your spouse, you're like, I don't know if they can do it. They can do it, they just think different than you. Give them the space to think different, and they're gonna allow you to have the space to think you, and then they're gonna partner with you. So a great example is Chris gave us this timeline. I'm like, I don't want to have no freaking timeline, I just want to do it at a certain but he was so right about it.
SPEAKER_02You were well yeah, I mean, I wanted to get it ready so that we could start, you know, having people come and advertise, and and you know, I didn't want it to stretch out for six months.
SPEAKER_00And I'm gonna be honest, Chris, so Chris had the fires, he had the to me, because I was busy with my job getting things ready for all bunch of meetings I had to go do with our regular job was paying the bills for us to have the farm, and his was too, but he had way more excitement. It wasn't that I was excited, wasn't excited. I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I gotta get this done and this time. But I looked to him because he not only was carrying the weight of his other job that he worked, and then he would come home on the farm and he would start working because he could see, even though I believed in it, at this moment Chris was way more getting, I was always into it, but way more carrying his more. I was like, Oh, this is so this is a lot. I know I can do it, but can I go slower? And his speed was exactly the way it needed to be. So because I believed in him, and I had seen him build his business that he worked with for so many years, um, and grew, I said, okay, I'm gonna listen to him. It's gonna be hard because I want to go slower, but because he was so persistent and got our stuff, then we had to do the YouTube's and the Instagrams. That's a whole nother we're gonna talk about in a minute. But Chris's pace was so much faster, but he was so excited. So I want you to think of it like Chris would go to work all day, work a 12, 13 hour day, leave the house at four in the morning, and then come home and paint in a big old house. And he, what do you do? You hate to paint, right?
SPEAKER_02I hate painting, but it needed to get done. But I was having the blast. I've worked for other people, and and um I I'm a grinder and a worker, but having my own business and doing it for me, and the satisfaction of owning it ourselves was like it wasn't even work.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that seeing him, and I had never seen him like that before. And I've because we have gone through so much wonderful things and hardships. Like all y'all do, all of y'all are listening. I want you to know that we know that right now some of you are going through super hard stuff. So we just hope these little little truths will help you get down that road and say we're not giving up today. We're still holding hands, we're still persevering together. So he would be in the heathen home and he'd just be sparkling, sparkling, sparkling, and that encouraged me to keep pushing through and pushing through. So we had to decorate the whole house, and and I decorate like cracker barrel, honey. I love me a cracker barrel, and that's how my my little cottage actually my all my houses have been a bunch of fiddly diddlies and snoogly-dooglies, and that's how I like it. But when we had to decorate the the big old house, y'all gotta look on the Instagram, it's gorgeous. I didn't have a clue. I'm like, how do I pull back and do not do crazy, right, honey?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I mean you you and it's uh Airbnb and maybe eventually a bed and breakfast and a wedding venue, and a lot of times it's a it's a pre-Civil War home. A lot of times older houses look old, like old furniture and old whatever, and we didn't want that. So mama did a great job of finding the right thing. We did together.
SPEAKER_00I mean, Chris would get on the we had to get beautiful beds because he wanted to be perfect. Because you know, y'all know when you stay at a bed at bed and breakfast, you know, and it's like, oh my god, it's so oh, this'll be so so cute. And you go in the beds feel like you're sleeping on your grandma's bed that you had for 500 years.
SPEAKER_02The bed was original, like it was in 1840s.
SPEAKER_00Oh my lord. You know, you want the charm, but you don't want the the bad bad sleep. No. So we got the best beds and hoo to do and boop boop. So we wanted to decorate like a five-star hotel, but without the country, without the too much cracker barrel, like mom loves. So we did it, and it was you know what, y'all? You think going shopping at the Hobby Lobby or the you know, all those stores we love? We got the TJ Maxx, Hobby Lobby, on home goods, um, just you know old-time pottery. You got that one. Oh my lord. You think, and then we, you know, we got some great couches and stuff that we got from places, but it was hard, and I thought going shopping every day would be fun. Oh my lord, it was torture, and now there'd be days to be like, I can't do this. I know this sounds ridiculous, y'all, because I love shopping, but it was because it was gonna be for other people, y'all. Other people were gonna be sleeping in that house and laying on those blankets and sleeping in the bed, and oh, the pressure, the pressure. Okay, Chris was having a ball. I was feeling a lot of pressure, and then I and then be times at night I would think, is this really gonna work, right, honey? We all thought that we never said it out loud, we never did not one time to each other. That's something we don't do. We're gonna see we're gonna do something, y'all. We're gonna get it to the end. But you know, when you have a dream, you're thinking, is this gonna work, right?
SPEAKER_01I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean do we really have enough space and a left are we gonna be good at this? Okay. So then we had our first couple, so we we started getting in August, and then I think we had brides come out pretty much soon after that to come look at it, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we booked a wedding and then we had somebody say November for the next October was our first wedding that we booked.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we had booked, and then we started booking a ton in October back to back to back, and this back to back to back to back. So let's start from here. So we I don't know how to set up for this, y'all. I YouTube it. What do I do? What do I have to set up? So I got the barn all done, you know, with whatever tables and the dude. Thinking, are they gonna even like this? Because we don't know, but you know what? We just thought we can do it. Our first bride came out, she loved it. So we thought, yes, we are idiots!
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, they had no idea that it was the first.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah, you're you don't tell them.
SPEAKER_02Well no, you wouldn't tell them, but I they had no idea. No idea. They thought we were polished and we treated it like we'd had a hundred and that we were polished and planned, and I mean we're we're organizers and planners, and so that's but still, this is other people, you know.
SPEAKER_00These are other people. How they you don't want to talk about people? They're gonna judge me, are they gonna like me? Are they gonna think I'm out of our mind? Oh my lord. That that day when we had a first bride and then she signed her contract, we both sit on the couch and go, Can you believe it? And then we got now, okay, y'all, now we gotta do it. Did you doubt it all? I'm like, oh my god, what did you have any? I didn't, I knew I had you.
SPEAKER_02I wasn't really worried about it. I just, I mean, I guess maybe a little apprehensive just going into it because it's their wedding, you know. So you want it to be their day. You want it to be great and nothing, you know, you don't want there to be any kind of anything.
SPEAKER_00And yeah, and who in the world would want to have pick the job where it's the most pertinent part of the day, it's gotta run great. But so, but in there there was a lot of there was some conflict. So, how we did the conflict resolution is I had to stop, I wanted everything to be at a five-star right now, and so did Chris, but both of our five-star thoughts were different, right? So instead of me being ugly, we had a lot of we had a lot of disagreements, I but I felt like I was just hurting his feelings more because my expectations were here and his expectations were here, but they were all good expectations. But I would be ugly about it, and that's the part that I really had to step back and say to myself, wait, this is your person you love. This needs to be more fun. No, no, this is not the wedding parts. The wedding parts, we have a blast, but just just getting up to getting the weddings and having everything cleaning and perfect. And so, what when you start a business together, whatever you're starting together, remember the most important thing is your words to your partner. Don't be mean. Your words have power, and all of you listening right now, if you were ugly this week to your partner, stop it and say, go to that person and say, I'm sorry. So a good example was remember what happened about the laundry this week? And you came up to me and said, That's not your job, and I said it harsh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was so sweet. Yes, tell me what's great.
SPEAKER_02Uh I usually do my own laundry for my work clothes, and this last week mom said she would do it for me. Absolutely. And then she did a couple nights and not all the nights, and so uh Tuesday night I was like, Did you wash more clothes for me to go tomorrow?
SPEAKER_00And then I felt bad.
SPEAKER_02She said she didn't, and then I said, and I was terrible, and I said, Why wouldn't you wash all the clothes instead of stuff? Well, I felt so bad about it, and then uh it bothered me, but not enough, and then I came home the next night and apologized because that's it's not her job, first of all, and I shouldn't talk to her that way, and um it wasn't worth the words, and uh it wasn't like it's something we had a big fight about to hurt her feelings.
SPEAKER_00But what was neat about you is that I never said it hurt my feelings because then I was because we we both have really intense jobs other than this one, and I know he's busy and I know I'm busy, and but I'm like, Oh, he didn't mean it like that, but inside my heart, y'all know your partner can do this. And you're like, Man, I wish you would have been a little tender because words hurt, and no matter how long you're married, words are the things that will break you or build you up, right?
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_00And so he came to me that night, and it was a couple he goes, I just want to let you know. Thanks for washing my shirts, and it's not your job, and we're partners here, and I said that and it meant everything to me. And the biggest compliment was when he said, and you never even got upset about it, and I want to thank you. And that was sweet. So uh what had happened, so this is a great example when we were putting the house together, getting ready for this all these weddings, was I had I would be harsh, I'd be like, Chris, that thing is an iron effort. Chris, this isn't this that this table needs to be perfect and spotless, and what and I had to stop it, and I would have to go to him, and I had to apologize and say, I'm being ugly to you. You are my partner in building this business, and I would never want you to talk to me this way. And I had to really have some quiet moments with myself and say, Stephanie, you need to be better, you need to be kinder. And if you're gonna build a business on kindness and love and on your beautiful marriage, and you're gonna promote marriages, you need to give him what he's given you, and you need to be more apologetic and more tender, and know that he's coming from an 11-hour day and he's sweaty. And so we really worked on that. Like we it was all about the words, and we would we constantly would work on it, and then now that we've done the wedding, now the wedding parts are easy and we're a pro-za and we're gonna tell you that in a minute, but now the preparation is where we get we don't even have any tussles, we both know our parts. And if I'm having a harder day at my other job, he'll say, Babe, I'm gonna do this. And if he's having a tough day, I'll say, Babe, let me do this. And we because we're busy and he and that's worked for us, you know. But the one thing we make sure we do is we don't use our words to hurt each other because that's just not nice, and it makes us so much sadder, right? What do you think?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, we've worked it out, and again, it's it's a matter I think we've also figured out that perfection is what is that exactly? Oh, that's good, and what does that look like? And of course, we want everything to be clean and uh and prepared and whatever, but give yourself a break, right? Yeah, like like it doesn't have to be, you know, and if you're listening and you're a bride coming, no, we make air for sure everything.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's perfect, but both of us are perfectionists, and and sometimes that can be hurtful because my perfect doesn't look like his that's the point, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, and there's things inside that mom had a different opinion about, and outside and I had a different opinion, and so and it wasn't just her, I would say things.
SPEAKER_00We both yeah, but what the point is if you're building something together, give yourself some grace and give the other person mercy because that's your partner, and if you so now that we have been building this, it has been so much more fun because I see him like he's trying his best. I'm trying my best, and I want to have fun together, and that is where we're at now. So, what's so funny? Okay, so we had our first wedding. I want to tell y'all, we have to make sure all the chairs are set up, we have to make sure it is so much fun. We love every second of it. We gotta make sure if there's bathrooms being delivered, that that's what we're on top of that. We gotta make sure food's being catered. We both gotta be on top of that. We gotta make sure something spills or something gets dirty or someone gets drunk or something gets, and you know what? We have found found our positions and we kill it. So, what happened on our first wedding was we had 150 people about and and we both looked at each other and are like, can we do it? Right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What did you think that first day when everyone starts coming? You had to park their cars, or the night before. What did you think? Tell me your feelings.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, I I felt like it went smooth. I mean, you you helped talk through the wedding, and and we did the rehearsal and all that, and they were a lovely family that they got married, which made it easier too. But it was just fun, and then the next day again we worked through some things, and my wife sometimes she gives directions like she's a s a seal. Oh my gosh, I do the two fingers and the eyes and the pointing and whatever. That's like some stuff we're there because we're gonna talk about that. So true.
SPEAKER_00So Chris is like, so we had to do we had to get him down the aisle. So it's our first couple, and we're doing practice the night before, and some people get a little get a little tips turvy, so it's like herding cats, right? But it's so fun. Well, what's so fun is that this is a dream we dream together, and we put it all the hard working together. So we're getting we're so the night before is rehearsal dinner. They come in, they decorate, and they do the whole thing. It was beautiful. And then we get him down the aisle just for the practice, right? So the night before, the night of I everything has to be perfect. So I'm running it, and Chris is watching me, and I make faces that are so stern, and I didn't even know that I was doing it. But my precious husband pulled me aside, and so do my boys. And they're like, Mom, you gotta have a softer face. You look like you're running an army. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Well, and again, it's different if she's communicating to me or to the boys, uh, you know, with with some direct direction. But when they're a bride or a bridesmaid or whatever, we need to slow it down a little bit. I would be like, stop, go, stop, go.
SPEAKER_00And I and and I've my nature is to be so sweet, but when the weddings have to be, I want them to be run so fast.
SPEAKER_02She wants it to be perfection and everybody to be in the right spot. Yeah. And again, it is like hurting cats and so getting everybody to be in the right place. And she takes it super serious, which is good, but she she figured it out.
SPEAKER_00Well, because Chris knew that he needed to tell me, and he wasn't afraid to tell me. So when you're building a business, both of us, the one thing I love about both of us, if I'm like, are you freaking kidding me? Are you want to do that? That's crazy. He don't get his feelings hurt. He'll be like, Well, let's look at this from a different angle. This is how I see it for the brides. Big big big this is how I see it for the grooms. And then like, but most of the time he's so brilliant, y'all. He'll, it's true, and he'll be like, let's do he's like little, what's that show, MacGyver? He's a freaking MacGyver, okay? Like he'll like we a bride wanted a big white tent for one of our weddings, and it takes hours to put together, and it's beautiful, okay? And I've watched him, he's like, let's and he doesn't even get sad about it. Like, if someone would tell me to put up a darn tent, I'd be like, forget about it, it's never gonna happen. Not him. He's like, I got it, let's do it in four hours, it's done. And then she decided, y'all, she didn't want it. He and then we take it down, but he's never sweating it, and that's and me like happen to talk to brides and go through every little detail. He'd be like, What are you doing? He's like, I'm gonna go put a tent together, I'm gonna work with the brides. We are so good together. Like, I love me a bride. I love to walk through their details together. I want the food to be, I want everything to be so sparkly and magical. And Chris is gonna go in the background and make sure every chair is perfectly lined up, every flower is perfect. We had some brides who were like, it was they're like, Can you go staple this up a year? Can come on, and they boss him and they can you go put this up here on top of this big old barn, and he does it with such joy. And to watch him do his part and watch me do my part, and then of course our children help us out. It has been magical. So, y'all, the last so our first one did our we had, like I said, our first year we had back-to-back weddings. What? And to know that we absolutely loved them, all the beautiful mamas and all the beautiful papas, and getting them down the aisle and them saying I do, it is the most it's beautiful. I'm never gonna get tired of it. I absolutely love it, and we found this new thing we want to try. It's so funny. So, we were watching this show today, y'all, and this couple got married, and they we're gonna start doing this with our brides.
SPEAKER_02Well, at least bring it up.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna want to bring it up, and y'all can tell us, please put it in the comments. We want to do it's called warming the rings. I don't know if any of you ever heard of that before. Tell them what it is, baby.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so they put the rings on a pillow, and then they literally hand it through the crowd, and then the crowd uh blesses the rings, prays for the rings, quietly, kisses the rings, whatever, kind of uh gives them a warm thought, a wish. Just kind of well, no, they were kissing it. Not the rings, they put their hand on or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, they take the pillow, they tie the rings to it, like the ring bearer, and then they start from the back, and they all make a little prayer or a little something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so when they put them on, they're not just rings, they're they're the thoughts of prayers of all the people that were at the wedding.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and Chris and I watched the show, both of us were crying because it was so precious.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, never heard of it before.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. So any bride that comes, we're gonna say, we want to do the warming. It's called the warming of the rings. Yeah, and gosh darn it, it was amazing. But what I think is amazing too is that Chris and I love love, like we're like we loved to love each other, love each other, but we never knew how much we loved watching people say I do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then we had our son do a wedding, and it was amazing when he married. We're s we look at our little boy up there marrying because he's ordained, so is Chris. And they're he married this couple, and this couple didn't want to say, Oh, we've had the most unique couples, and they didn't want to have to say a lot. They're a little shy. So Chris made sure that all they had to do was say I do, and they were so happy with that. That's my oldest son, his name's Chris also. And it was a Wasn't it amazing?
SPEAKER_01It was.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01And he had fun doing it.
SPEAKER_00He hit a ball. He had a ball. But if I had to think of two things that were the hardest, the hardest and then the easiest. The hardest for me was making sure and going through these weddings that Chris and I were stronger through them. And I didn't pull pick him apart. Because I know husbands and some wives can pick each other apart. Like you dummy. And we had moments like that. And I would look at myself and say, Stephanie, you're being so ugly. Your husband's out there sweating. This is before when we had to build the business up, we had to get everything ready. Not during the weddings or enough like that. That's just a ball. And I had to stop. I was always being ugly, right? I was being ugly and I hated that part. Well, we don't do that at all anymore. But we so don't stop in their mid preparing for like whatever your business is going to be, and you're paving the road for it, right? So right now you might be building a foundation of whatever business you want to build together. This is that's the hardest part. Getting on flight. What do you think?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, getting a routine and getting it worked out, what works and what's the best plan to communicate and all those things.
SPEAKER_00And what I saw, so I needed to stop being ugly. And the thing that I was amazed is Chris is so great at doing social media because we had to learn to do that awful thing.
SPEAKER_01I'm not really.
SPEAKER_00Oh my lord, social media. Forget about it, forget about it. I gotta have my trying to share stuff. And you would think it would be me. Oh no. Oh, oh. I don't even want to do Facebook, I don't want to do Instagram, I don't want to do none of that. I want to watch it, but don't make me he does it so good. And his heartbeat for the business, oh, it's just just been extraordinary. And that part for me watching him, and I think I've gotten nicer through it. Because as a businesswoman, I can be very direct. And and I am a very soft, tender person, but for business, I'm direct, and he's helped me be softer. And like, oh, like when we have to sit down with the brides and do the money, I'm terrible. I want to give everything away. Yeah, and he's gotta pull me back. He'll be giving me one of these looks like honey. We can't give everything away. And he's been so good to help me through that. So, what do you think I've gotten better at?
SPEAKER_01All those things. No, stop it.
SPEAKER_00I gotta get better.
SPEAKER_01No, no.
SPEAKER_00But what do you think? What do you think you've for yourself that you're you're surprised at? Wow. That can build well, you know what it is. You can build anything.
SPEAKER_02Well, I can't.
SPEAKER_00You can build anything. You're amazing.
SPEAKER_02I have done some projects here that I didn't realize I could do, and so I did it.
SPEAKER_00We did a dance floor. You know, had a hit a ball. He digged out the entire dance floor. Y'all on the outside of the y'all gotta come see it on the oh my heart, I'm gonna start crying. He built tell him how he did it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. We dug out and formed and had somebody uh pour it. I didn't pour the concrete.
SPEAKER_00Was hot? No, in the fall.
SPEAKER_02We need another patio off of the house that I did a slate uh tiles in or whatever, a rock.
SPEAKER_00Amazing.
SPEAKER_02And we put up a picket fence and then I put some fans in and some chandeliers. I paid for that. But uh, yeah, I mean it's some of the things that I had never done before, and then you realize that you can do I've changed out three or four ceiling fans, which I'd never done before. But you had so much fun, which is not tough, but yeah, I love doing all that stuff.
SPEAKER_00You've had so much fun, and I think at the age that we are, and if y'all listening, you're thinking I want to do something different in my life, do it, right? What did you tell me to do it? Get out there and go do it, and with your partner, don't do it separate, y'all. Don't live a life like their separate dreams. Get and get it, they're so much better when you do them together. Like I know if I got sick and I have before, Chris had to do a wedding and he had to he had to do the whole walkthrough. He freaking killed it. And you find that you can do a lot. Now, I can't put things together though, and you can do everything. Like I'm not gonna put no I'm not gonna put no fence together and get dirty, but that's true, but but you do everything like you can sell to the brides, the brides love you, and to the grooms, they just love you. You're just amazing. Oh, you are amazing, everyone. You are, and I'm so grateful that in this incredible wedding business and Airbnbs, we we had some people this we've had people all the time come and stay, and I still get nervous about that. And Chris is cool and calm. And but if but I would want I don't want to, I want to if someone told me to go back in the future, you you know, back in time, I'd say yes, let's do it again and again and again, because it's so much fun. The wedding parts, as as hard as they are, it's good, it's a good hard. Yeah, it's a good hard.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and we've we've figured out a routine, and I think we might mention this, but after we get through the cake and everything, then me and mom grab a piece of cake and we go behind the barn and we did it. We we share a piece of cake together and and basically it's done at that.
SPEAKER_00So much fun. So we kind of we put our heart and soul in those gosh drain weddings. We want everyone who says I do to be like, that was the greatest one I've ever thought of us, yes. Because when you do your own business, it's got to be great.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, because it's your name on everything and it's repeat. You know, if you're terrible, then that gets around and nobody wants to come out.
SPEAKER_00And we couldn't believe y'all that we had so many back-to-back last year, and we would both look at ourselves like, Are you crazy? Are you crazy? This is so much fun. And then when we had the winter came, we were kind of bummed because a lot of people get married in the barn in the cold. But we were kind of bummed because we had so much fun. So get out there, get out there with your partner and enjoy the time you have together and get out there and dream your dreams because dreams do come true 100%, right?
SPEAKER_02They can, yeah.
SPEAKER_00They can hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02But you gotta step out and give it a run.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you have to do it, and you and sometimes your partner will be weak, and sometimes you'll be strong. I know we talk about that every week, but that's true. But I heard something really great this week. I want to talk about it. So, dreams do come true. We love doing what we do, and we have so much fun. Okay, so when you're having a hard time, maybe you're going to counseling, and you just think nothing's gonna get better. We heard we look we listen to the Instagram. So here's a couple favorite things I love to do. I love to go on my Sunday drives and go get my Starbucks. Fall Starbucks is coming up, y'all. I'm so excited! I love Fall Starbucks. Woo-hoo! But I'll probably get the same drink. Anywho, so uh Chris and I listened to the Instagram, or my I do, and he listens with me. He's so good. And what are we here today? Tell him that what that guy was talking about about the two couples that didn't want to stay together, and he goes, Okay.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, he was in counseling, and they said she asked him, Do you have stuff that you need to work on? And he said yes. And then he asked the woman, Did is there stuff that you have to work on? And she said yes, and he said, Okay. Then she said, Okay, do you want to work on them individually or do you want to work on them with your this partner or with somebody else?
SPEAKER_00And the and so they both were sitting there quietly thinking, Does that partner not want to work on it?
SPEAKER_02And they neither one of them were gonna say it first, which is so weird to me, but it was so the guys want to tell the story, and he's like, and then he was like, I was so glad when she said Yeah, she said I would have of course I w why wouldn't want to work out with anybody but him, and he was so excited because he was thinking the same thing, but he didn't know.
SPEAKER_00He was hoping and they had been married for 30 years.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I missed that purpose, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And he had said that I wanted her because I couldn't, and they both sat there, and it's all of you are having those moments in your marriage right now. We know you are, because we've been through them. And you think, is this the am I at the the end here with this person? Is there nothing left? And more do you know when you think to yourself that you can't imagine your life without that partner? And I want to fight this with this partner. We can get through it. Let's find the tools. I love you. And I think the most important thing is using kind words. Use your words to build up that partner. We heard somebody else talking about that too. Why would you save all your kind words for strangers and not for your buddy, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, one one interesting thing too we heard today was that if your spouse is mean or honory or you say they're crazy, it's because you made them that way. On how you've treated them. So if you're if you're building them up and you're kind and you're making them feel important, then they're going to give you that back. And if you're not, then you're gonna get so he said, you know, if your wife is crazy and mean and whatever, that you did that, then you've got to fix it.
SPEAKER_00You need to work together. If you're saying, Oh, my wife's crazy, I can't talk to her. She every time I want to talk to her about something, she just blows up and like, wait, take a take some responsibility for that because that's your person. You know what, right, Chris? Like your baby, when you're raising your children, they're gonna emulate you, they're gonna emulate if you have got an accent. Or if you're ugly, they're gonna be ugly. But they're gonna like your puppy dog. When you get puppy dogs and they're raised with a bunch of little puppy dog brothers and sisters, they make those weird faces until they come into your life. I know that story is weird, but it's a whole sidebar. But anywho, you want your babies to emulate love and tenderness and kindness. So look at the mirror. That's your spouse, and you want to just give them all the love. And and so don't be so if you're having a hard time, y'all. I need you, the woman, if you're being ugly, take it back and think, okay, maybe it's me. Maybe I need to step this up. I need to work on being kinder, being less selfish. I need to think about why he's hurting today, and then we need to have a conversation. Chris and I would do a thing every single day when we were struggling and you know, with each other, like, okay, this is where I'm at today. I'm feeling this way. I'm mad at you, and he goes, I'm feeling this way. I said, So we can both keep being mad at each other, or we're gonna just take, we're gonna take, we're gonna walk it out. What can we do that's small, that's gonna not gonna kill us to get through this day to make it better for tomorrow. We would do that, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Or we would say, Okay, let's start over. Yes, let's reset, yeah. Let's let's pretend that this is our first interaction of the day. That's good, and uh we do and let it go. We did that yesterday, we sure did.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, oh we do, and I'm so grateful because and it can be some and I think it's the small things like that one guy said that build up because you don't talk about them. Oh, yeah, and you've got to talk, y'all. So tonight, uh this one, me and Chris want you to do some homework because we do it all the time. I f I love him so much and I have all this beautiful life, but we still have moments we're gonna we're gonna have him until we go whenever when our days are done here. We're gonna always do them. You know why? Because we love each other. It's when we when you're not fighting and wanting to get over things, and it's just silent. That's when you're doomed. When you're not you're not trying to get better. Whenever you're that's when the doom goes. Oh, okay. So here's some homework, y'all. Tonight on your Sunday, you're gonna do your Sunday dream walk. And me and Chris do those when we take the trash out. Unless it's too hot, I'm staying inside. He can do it. We can dream walk on the couch, honey. But if you want to go do your dream walk, get out there today. The fall's coming, and start talking about the dreams you want to do together, right, Papa? That's right, not separate.
SPEAKER_02No, and everything's together. I mean, even if they're not together.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_02You know, like your the success I've had in in business or whatever is it's the success I've had, but it's always been with you supporting me. That's right. And I hope that the same thing for you. This is me supporting you.
SPEAKER_00I am built by you. You have made me. I'm the one I was so shy. I know. Woo-hoo! Yeah, shy. She was I was, and this beautiful man came in and built me up because we both have some past history, though, isn't it? Very pretty. I was born in fire and raised in fire, so I know all about the fire. And this little guy came into my life and treated me better than any person, man, quote unquote man had ever treated me. And he and I'm so strong and brave, and I'm freaking fearless, but it is straight up. This guy here. He's like, You can do it, you can do it. I say, I'm gonna try this. And he's like, You can do it. When I wanted to be a personal trainer, y'all, I was heavy for most of my young life, and I was made fun of terribly. It's terrible. People are mean, especially school, you know what I'm talking about. And then I got up and I followed, fell in love with exercise, and I freaking loved exercise and do-do-da-do. And then one day I was became a mama, and I was a stay-at-home mama, it was the greatest job I've ever had, and I wanted to to do, I thought, I'm gonna become a personal trainer or a fitness. And I and this is a woman who was made fun of most of her young teenage life, lost weight, fell in love with exercise. I was a little shy, and I went to him one day and said, Do you think I could go teach a class? He's like, You can do anything, and that's not it. I've done so many more. We'll tell you all about some of the great things we both have done in our past because we've had each other and we breathed, we both breathe life to all of our dreams, and that's what we both do. Like he breathes life into my crazy stuff I come up, and then I go do it. And then I breathe stuff in his crazy things. He does, and he goes, does it, and it shocks us, but it was because I I trust him, right, honey?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and we do it together.
SPEAKER_00We do it together like shing a linga ling a linger ding-y-ding-di-dong. Boo-boo, boo-boo-doo. Let me finish. Bop ba, sing it with me. Boo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Boo up. We'll always be together. Shing a linga ding-dong. So, what that's from is Greece. If you're all young and you don't know what that is, that's such a thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and if you didn't know, it's okay. It was kind of like I love that show. No, I love that show, but I'm not sure what we were singing with.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's something it was like three songs together. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Medley.
SPEAKER_00It was like a it was like a triple triple.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But y'all, so that's your homework. Go do your dream walk with your best buddy and just and hug him so much and just let him know you love him and challenge yourself when you start to get ugly this week. So, wait, back it up, back it up. I'm gonna I'm gonna speak life over him or her and vice versa. Okay, now it's time for speed rap.
SPEAKER_02Rapid fire.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love these.
SPEAKER_02We will have the answers today.
SPEAKER_00Um my yes, here we go. Um, okay. If your spouse had a warning label, what would it say? That's funny. A warning label. If you had a warning label, am I saying that right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, warning label.
SPEAKER_00Well, if you your spouse had a warning label, what would it be? Chris would be, I'm so cute. Watch out.
SPEAKER_02Oh, come on.
SPEAKER_00I'm so cute with those cute little okay. Warning label is I might come across grouchy, but I'm pretty amazing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think both both of ours could probably say sometimes grumpy when super stressed.
SPEAKER_00That's a warning label.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yours is yours to me, really, is I'm adorable. Yours, watch out, warning label. He's adorable, you're gonna want to hug him a lot. Yeah, you are really cute. But mine is mine is sometimes grouchy if I'm stressed out. Come on. That's the only warning level. Don't get me started, should be it. That's a warning label. Oh, because it's something bad. Oh, it's like you're gonna touch the stove.
SPEAKER_02Like if you're going on a trip and you're worried about it going well on your business thing, and you get kind of worked up about it, and just a little grumpy. I didn't say bad, but and I do the same thing when I'm having a bad day at work, and that stuff.
SPEAKER_00How about this one? What about this one for me? Oh lord. Warning label, she might get faster, she might get ready faster than you.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00You know, ladies, because yesterday I've been getting ready faster than him. And tell us that was so funny when you said you said sometimes you'll you'll shock me. I'll be like uh, or you said you had a really use a really good word. You said, you side, you s remember yesterday when we were.
SPEAKER_02I don't remember what I said, but yeah, we were going in to have breakfast with our kids, and I was sitting kind of waiting, and I'm like, let me know when you're getting dressed. And then she came out dressed, and I still had to change my clothes and get ready. Yeah, and she uh I was ready, y'all.
SPEAKER_00That warning level. This woman gets ready fast, you better speed it up.
SPEAKER_02Zigged and zagged.
SPEAKER_00Warning label, zibba dooba doo. Okay, warning label. I'm always gonna want Milano cookies, so we better be having it in the house. Warning label.
SPEAKER_01There we go.
SPEAKER_00Okay, what is this one's weird? Okay, don't let it be weird. Don't answer weird. PG, we're GG. What is the weirdest thing you've ever caught your partner doing? Something came to my mind. Not gonna say it, but uh the weirdest thing I ever caught my partner doing. So many things came to my mind. So many things. Um okay, this one's funny. This is not weird because I'm not I'm gonna say funny. This is awesome, y'all. There's other ones, but this is the one I'm gonna lean into. So we were at Disney World. My precious husband, he did something that my children loved that he has never done before. I was asleep. He comes back, he has a picture where he went into the arcade at the Disney arcade at All-Stars Movie Resorts, one of our favorite places, gets a picture taken with Captain America flexing. So tell them what it was, one of those booths. Tell him what you thought was so funny.
SPEAKER_02I I got I spent some money on a card and I was playing, then I got bored. And so, and then I also didn't want to leave you alone too long, so I was coming back. So they had like a a magazine cover or like a comic cover thing where you could go in and do a photo shoot. So I jumped in there and did uh we have it hanging in our wall.
SPEAKER_00We we'll post it. We'll put if we can figure out how to put pictures on this thing in a jigger. Well, we will because it's adorable, y'all. You've got to do it. Y'all gotta go to Disney World. You have them all as adults. We we gotta talk about that too. Oh, maybe next week we'll talk about how much fun that is and giving some tips and trips. Yeah, okay. What's mine? Um keep it beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Well, I sometimes watching you do your makeup or whatever, and you're making faces are gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00Willie? Yeah, you'll watch me sometimes, maybe that is so what kind of faces?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, or she comes out with this mask on. She scares me. A doma morigato. She's like a roboto. Like a scarce.
SPEAKER_00That's a good mask, y'all. If you're looking for a mask, I'll give you the best mask. Okay. That's good, honey. Okay. This is this is funny. Um, okay. Uh, okay. Oh, oh. Uh, okay. What is one small habit your partner has that feels like a private love note? Um, well, Chris used to get up every day before he went to the work at the Cracker Don and give me a kiss. He refused not to give me a kiss and I'd be sound asleep. Timmy, that's a private love note. That's beautiful.
SPEAKER_02I don't do that anymore because I don't want to wake you up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, don't be doing that. But I love doing it, but don't do anymore. I'm good. Um gosh. You do so many things. I think what I can think what I do for you. Oh, gosh. Okay, okay. This is out the top of my head, y'all, because I'm in my living family room and I'm looking at 36 Mickey ears I got in my family room. It's all, you know, crackle barrel and Mickey ears. He'll always surprise me with Mickey ears. But that's not a private love note.
SPEAKER_02Gosh, can you why would you just when we drive or when we go somewhere, when I hold hold your put my hand on your leg or hold your hand and you hold it back.
SPEAKER_00Baby. That's so sweet.
SPEAKER_01Something like that.
SPEAKER_00You give me you know, we do these podcasts for us, I think. It just makes me fall in love with you more. Okay, that's gorgeous.
SPEAKER_01One more.
SPEAKER_00No, a couple more. I love these. Okay, okay, okay. Uh if you could relive, oh I love this, and I know what's gonna be. If you could really one single day from your past together, what would it be?
SPEAKER_02Oh gosh, I don't know. There's so many.
SPEAKER_00The the day, um I don't know what it is. I can tell you with a heartbeat. Um when I had my first child. First and second children. Those are the best days of my life. Yeah. The days we have the children, everything changed for us in all the best ways.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I wish I knew now what I didn't know then, because having a Christian was a challenging day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because of the medical stuff that went on in the hospital. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, well, but yeah, because I had to get a cesarean, and daddy thought I was gonna die. It was the best freaking day of my life. I feel like the day I had because we got when we got married, we had children really quick, like at the first year. We got we got the baby, whoop whoop. Uh we weren't pregnant when we got married, y'all. But if you do that, that's fine. But we had we had it pretty quick. Like the two. And we weren't planning to have kids for five years, but that if I could relive that day over well, maybe not the day they have maybe like when he's five, because that's a hard day. But it changed my life. Having babies just made me so happy. Oh, okay. That's that's my day, and then watch yours.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know. I could think of many things that we did. You know what?
SPEAKER_00Neither one of us picked the day we got married. Is that not hilarious?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we'll probably have a family when we're when we're all at Disney World. Oh, Christmas, something having dinner, something.
SPEAKER_00What about the first time we got Christmas morning at Disney World right in on it was when it was it was dark outside because they let us get in early hours.
SPEAKER_01Six o'clock.
SPEAKER_00And it was dark, and we got on snow. Why? And it was so scared, and all four of us before we had our precious daughter-in-law who we love. We love you, Megan Williams. And we all that was the first time we all went the time of our lives, and I peeped my pants because I was screaming so much. What do you say when you say too much information? What do people say? Too much information. TMI too much information. TMI. Okay. Uh what are you the most proud regarding of your life together?
SPEAKER_02I think the family that we built, our DMU and the kids. We have really kind, caring, intelligent, beautiful children. And uh that is probably the best thing that we could do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, having babies is the uh okay, this last one. Oh, because those all make me cry. Woo! Um okay, okay, I got a little one of the most proud together like together. What is the one way changer? When do you feel the safest or most peaceful? Okay, so um when little I want funnier ones, but anyway. When do you feel the safest or most at peace with me? Oh, okay, oh, I like that one. Woo-hoo! Um, I freaking love it when Chris comes home from work and he just picks me up and gives me a hug, no matter where I am. And honey, I don't gotta look pretty because I don't like to be dressing up. I look like myself. We've been married a million years, that's one of the greatest things, but I still like to get all the hoodly doodle up. But uh when he I I being sitting with Chris on the couch, you ever know, ladies, when you just had a really tough day and that little your superhero, because I literally see him like Captain America. That's my guy, Chris Williams. He knows it. I got him a Captain America backpack. Oh, it's so awesome. And he'll come into the house, and he could have had the worst day, you'll never know it, and he just scoops me up, y'all. So, y'all, strong men out there, keep scooping up those beautiful women. That's my favorite. Okay, your turn.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's the same kind of thing. My favorite time, my favorite whatever is here at the farm on the weekends where you and I don't have to go anywhere or do anything, and we just get to to hang out together.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that is for sure. We have a ball. But remember, we know go on your go on your dream walks, people, right? What do you think? What kind of homework do you think they should do that? Well, can you give a tip for a guy? Give a tip for a guy. How to be a better husband or not a better vulnerable.
SPEAKER_02Oh, dang, honey.
SPEAKER_00Why are you so good at this? I'm just a gibberly flippering. You come up like the professor from Smartsville.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wherever that is, it's not here by me and you by yourself. Invite me to Spartsville. Wait, be vulnerable, what does that mean? I love that by the way.
SPEAKER_02Well, guys have a tendency to act a certain way, or they don't want to show their feelings or their emotions, or that they made a mistake, or that they made a wrong choice, or whatever. And so, but that's the only way you can be successful is by completely opening yourself up to the wife, and then wife, don't make fun of him when he does that. Oh, that's good. Some women think that men can't be that way either. But if you really want a great husband, then you know you need to let them let him be vulnerable, you gotta let them cry, you gotta let them want to be held.
SPEAKER_00Because my husband is the strongest man, but he that's honey. Five stars. Thank you. So I'd like to finish it with what we say, but I would love you to just chime in with the. I just saw something in the house. I gotta sing the song. Will you sing it with me? Now, when you do your dream walks and you are partnering with your person, it's gonna feel like this. It's a whole new world, a whole new fantastic point of view. I never know. A whole new world with you. Say it with me. I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You have a beautiful voice.
SPEAKER_00Say it's the last part with me. The whole new world with you. Okay, first of all, my husband's a really good singer. He's a son of a me, but he's not singing. I be as in blueberry. All right, so we love y'all. Please hit us some Instagram or whatever you say.
SPEAKER_02If you have comments or yeah, if you got a question, a comment, you can always email us.
SPEAKER_00And boys, if you're listening, like I don't know how to be vulnerable, just reach out to Chris. He will help you. He's a freaking awesome.
SPEAKER_02The Christophervenue at gmail.com. If you're getting married, you need a wedding place. The ChristopherVenue. Wait, the Christopher, yeah, the ChristopherVenue.com.
SPEAKER_00Seriously, you don't know our own website.
SPEAKER_02No, I get our email is the Christophervenue at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_00And remember, we appreciate y'all. We love y'all. And signing off, have a good Sunday from the Farmer and the Blonde. Boo boop boop boo boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boo doo doo doo doo doo. Bye.