10 Tips to Boost Your Confidence

Jon shares 10 easy applicable tips to help boost your self confidence. Such tips include clear goal setting, moving towards your goals every day, controlling self talk, eliminating negative energy, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, finding your passion, not caring about what others think, fitness, saving money, and accepting that life isn't fair.   

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Hello everyone, my name I’m Jon Peng aka 彭玉印, a content creator, English teacher, corporate trainer, and now a podcaster with over 10 million followers worldwide. I'll be sharing life lessons, funny stories, and laughs!

This is also a great podcast to improve your English listening / English conversation skills as I'll speaking American native speaker English. Suitable for B2-C1!

I also go by:

Jon Peng English
Jon彭
Jon彭玉印
Jonathan彭玉印

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Transcript

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today I'm going to share 10 tips to help you be more confident that anyone can apply to their lives to help them move closer towards their goals stay tuned hello everyone and welcome to the John Peng Show in today's episode I'm going to be sharing 10 tips with you and how to be more confident now honestly the reason why I thought about this idea for today's episode is because in my daily interactions with people whether in person or online watching the news scrolling through social media I feel that it's a crazy world out there right now I feel there are a lot of people that are just not certain about what the future will be and I do feel there are a lot of people out there that just aren't happy and these 10 tips I want to share with you I think are very very important and the reason I want to focus on confidence is because I think that confidence is one of the most important things you can master in your life because when you're confident you're brave it changes your mindset and that enables you to do different things that you may not have necessarily had the courage to do before and the best thing about these 10 tips is that they are easily implementable in your daily life you don't need to be rich you don't need to have this much experience you don't need to be old no matter where you are no matter what you do no matter who you are no matter what your circumstances are you can apply these and I guarantee you you will see some growth in your life and I'll be totally honest with you you may be asking well who are you to tell me how to be more confident so I will tell you that I am not the richest guy I am not the most successful guy I'm not the handsomest guy as you could tell but I can confidently say to you that at this point in my life right now I am extremely happy and content and I don't know a lot of people that can genuinely say that of course I have issues as well of course there are things I got to get done of course I have all these goals and pressure and things I'm not happy about but at the end of the day I am truly genuinely happy and I hope that these tips can help you as well with that said let's get into it the first tip I want to share with you on how to be more confident is to set clear goals goals are very very very important because goals represent purpose and if someone has no purpose in their life they have no direction they have nowhere to guide all their energy to guide all their hard work to there is simply nothing to work to in their lives so that's why goal setting is extremely important for your confidence now one of the biggest issues I see when people set goals is that they are way too broad way too broad for example I think one of the most common goals is I want to be rich I want to lose weight right two big ones right the problem is that if you say I want to be rich this is not a very specific goal there are countless ways infinite ways that you can attempt to get rich but the problem is if you set that as your goal you're not gonna be focusing on one specific way a few highly efficient ways for you to accomplish that goal so that's why we need to be really specific when it comes to our goals so for example if we said I want to be rich how could we make this goal more specific instead of saying I want to be rich let's take it down a bit let's say I want to save $100 this month now this is a much more simplistic goal but because it's simplistic it's more specific and it's a lot more realistic you can think of a lot of easier ways to accomplish this goal instead of the huge picture you have a smaller target an easier target and you can move closer towards that for example if your goal is I want to save $100 this month well then you may consider well I want to buy this but do I really need it or do I want it well if you don't need it I'm not gonna buy that instead of going out to eat order in delivery I'm going to buy cheaper groceries and cook at home instead of going to hang out with my friends this weekend I'm gonna try to do something that doesn't cost any money and then hopefully by the end of that month hopefully you can save something so by having specific goals it is much easier to get them done and on top of that we also want to be realistic so being specific and being realistic are tied together now what I mean by being realistic if you tell yourself another goal I want to lose weight if you tell yourself I want 6 pack ABS in one month but you might have a lot of extra body fat you may weigh a bit more you may not have the body type that allows you to get lean easily like me I have a lot of body fat I can get big real fast but if I want to get really lean that's very difficult for me because of my body type this would not be a very realistic goal instead of saying well I want 6 pack ABS in a month maybe do some research do the math when it comes to your calories think about your diet maybe ask someone if you have those resources and get a realistic answer at what it takes to lose that weight to get that six pack ABS now I'm not saying don't dream big absolutely not but I am saying that at the same time the more specific the more realistic you are about your goals this can help you move a lot closer to the big one OK now after you set clear goals it is very important that every single day you wake up on this beautiful earth you need to move towards them every single day you cannot be stagnant you cannot be lazy you must be disciplined in trying to achieve your goals so what does that mean again going back to the example of I want to save money well if that really is your goal for this month every single day you need to move closer to that goal you need to consider what are things I can do today that can get me closer to it if you simply sit there you lay down you do nothing if you're lazy if you decide well maybe tomorrow maybe the next day this is procrastination my friends and procrastination is a very very very dangerous thing when it comes to completing your goals because if today you take a little bit too much time not moving towards them well that can accumulate one hour can become a few hours can become a few days can become weeks become months years and then all of a sudden you see yourself years later saying what happened I wanted to do this I wanted to accomplish this goal but here I am again now I am not telling you to be a robot that doesn't have fun that doesn't you know relax you know I'm just telling you that if something really means something to you if a goal is very very important to you if it really means that much to you you must move towards it every single day now the beautiful thing about moving towards your goals every single day is that these are small victories little victories very very important very very important right you win a bunch of little battles eventually you win the war and little clear goals every single day is progress and incremental progress eventually equals to big success so I want you to consider every single day if you want to do something if you want to achieve something if you want to be something every action you take every single day you to weigh out the importance of it you need to figure out is this moving me towards my goal am I OK with that what are you willing to sacrifice to move closer towards it OK now the next thing I want to talk to you about has to do with your mindset your attitude these things are very important in order for you to be more confident you must control your self talk this is extremely important what is self talk self talk is the voice inside your head that is telling you what you are how you act and what you will do it is the voice inside your head that when you do something bad it tells you how bad you are it tells you how bad you failed it tells you that you will never be anything in your life this voice is always inside our head guiding our every single decision and the big difference I believe between confident people and people that are not confident is that people that are confident know how to control that voice in our heads instead of telling ourselves you're a failure you are dumb you are nothing you will never be anything you don't belong here that voice in our head tells us great things like you're doing a great job people like you you need to improve yourself and you'll be even better you're on the right path you are amazing you're awesome you are a good person and it's very very very difficult to control this voice because it is always in our head 24 hours a day seven days a week it is always telling us bad things all the time but if we can use this voice in our head to speak better about ourselves you will see a huge increase in your confidence and it's not easy I deal with this every single day for example as I am talking to you right now I am asking myself are people gonna care about what I'm talking about right now you know I'm a funny person but now I'm being all serious are people gonna not like it do people think I'm important enough or some authority figure that can tell them how to be more confident I'm talking to myself that way right now before I made this video but I also try to control that voice and tell myself there are people that like you who do follow you and hopefully do look up to you as well as a sign of success and so anything you can have and anything that you can share with them might be helpful for them in some way so you must control your self talk now in order to control our self talk sometimes it's not about you sometimes you know exactly what you want you know exactly how to talk to yourself you have a very clear set of goals and you have a very good personality and a head on your shoulders the problem is is that it's not you it's your environment you must have a good environment to be confident and to be successful you must eliminate negative energy in your life now this is obviously easier said than done right sometimes you are trapped in a situation where you cannot get away from people you cannot get away from a place you cannot get away from your circumstances so you were unable to eliminate negative energy but you do have the power internally to again build yourself up build yourself talk talk to yourself in certain ways and tell yourself you will become better you will get away from the situation you will be successful you will move towards a better future you see negative energy is a terrible terrible terrible thing it infest our society infest our lives infest our circles in so many different ways for example have you ever been in a situation where you tell your friends I'm gonna do this I'm doing this or look what I did and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is wow that's dumb that's stupid why are you doing that you're not good enough to do that perhaps it's not your friends perhaps it's your parents your family telling you that's dumb don't do that this is negative energy and you need to find a way to eliminate that negative energy now I'm not telling you move away from your family I'm not telling you to get rid of all your friends however I am telling you to consider these people that say bad things about you your goals your dreams and your passion are these people good do they care about you are they talking to you because they have your best interest at heart these are things that only you can think about and consider but I sincerely hope that you do consider what it means to have a supportive circle of friends and family now it's not only your friends and family when I talk about eliminating negative energy think about all the things you consume in your life honestly I believe that one of the worst inventions to ever come out of society that has been completely detrimental to our mental health is social media absolutely social media have you ever realize wow I wish I was stronger I wish I was richer I wish I was more beautiful I wish I were this and that look at all these people on social media that are so much better than me I am here to tell you that first of all social media is not real OK I hope you understand that that a lot of people that do social media right especially fitness especially rich lifestyles a lot of these there's a lot of production that goes into it to make you think that that is 100% authentic i'm not saying it's all fake no no no no absolutely not but i want you to understand that a lot of things you see online just are not real life sometimes it can be good don't get me wrong but i cur- i urge you I urge you this is very important when you are watching something on social media if it makes you feel envy if it makes you feel bad if it makes you feel like why can't I be like that well think about what you're consuming think about the way it makes you feel is it moving you towards your goals or is it moving you further from it is it making you more complacent more angry more negative positive energy positive energy is extremely important and I would like you to consider reading things that make your life better consuming content that makes you feel happy that makes you more confident that makes you feel good that makes you again move closer towards the person you want to be so eliminate all negative energy and remember social media is not a true indication of what real life is a lot of it again is produced and funded in a way to make you feel that way because that's how creators can make money off of you it's the truth it is what it is OK now once you eliminate negative energy once you learn how to control yourself talk once you set clear goals once you understand discipline and moving towards them every day now comes the hard part you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable when you have courage when you have confidence you then have the ability to try things you might be scared of 1 you then have the ability to do things you never would have done before and you will find that when you do these things all the sudden the more you do them they're not so scary anymore they're not so intimidating anymore because you've gotten used to it you begin learning you begin failing and then as you fail you make mistakes you gain experience you learn more you accomplish more so you need to get comfortable doing things you were scared of or not comfortable with as an example I know a lot of people that simply have trouble just talking to people 1 for example at networking events they know that I'm at a networking event it is to my advantage to talk to people chat with them make some small talk because they are there to make connections to maybe learn something or possibly just meet someone and enrich their lives but they have a very hard time one either attending these events in the first place cause they're nervous and meeting new people or they actually get themselves there but they don't have the courage to talk to anyone to make a move to take the first step so if you're always in that situation where you're scared you don't want to try it you just don't want to do it unfortunately you will never move forward I think a lot of people are afraid of failure they're afraid of embarrassment especially in today's social media age but I am telling you if these things these scary things if you know they are important for your growth they are important for you to be more confident if these things you know they are important for your goal purpose in life you cannot avoid them you simply must try it is like cold water jumping in a pool what happens when you don't want to get wet when you don't want to be cold but you want to get in that pool right what usually happens well before you actually get in that cold water you're oh oh I'm scared it's too cold right someone pushes you in you jump in and then yes it is cold it is but then your body eventually gets used to it and this is the same feeling you will get when you try things that you are scared of that you are uncomfortable with so you must get comfortable being uncomfortable now I talked to you earlier about goals about purpose I think something I've I've realized about people that are very very happy truly happy it's that they found their passion the happiest most content people I know have found their passion on a different level people that are able to make their passion their work their career to make a living doing their passion are even happier because when your work is your passion it's like you're not working at all and finding your passion is an extremely difficult thing to do in life because it takes a lot of trial and error it takes a lot of experimenting trying different things sometimes we think our passion is something we've been doing all our lives as a kid but then we slowly begin to realize that I don't think this is my passion I think this is my parents passion I think this is something that my parents or when I was younger was forced to do and I just did all the time and I thought that was it but turns out that's not really what I'm passionate about just something I'm kind of good at because I've been doing it for so long so you need to find your passion in life because when you have passion for something that's when it is so much easier to be confident about something to set goals about your passion to set time and effort and discipline and task to find groups of people to find good energy good content good learning material it becomes a lot easier to live life when you are truly truly passionate about something because when you're passionate about something it's an extremely good thing for your being now it's tough because especially when you're young people will laugh at you about your passions people will make fun of you for your passions right you may like a certain type of style you may like a certain type of hobby and of course your peers will say what are you doing bro that's weird and make fun of you for that if you are a young viewer I want to tell you that these things shall pass most people I know that had a passion for something including myself at a young age yes when you're in school people might have stuff to say but as you get older as you get into your early 20s mid 20s late 20s your 30s your 40s your 50s nobody cares nobody cares nobody gives about what you do what your passion is nobody cares because we are all so focused on what we have to do so I want to encourage you to not give up on your passions because people shame you for it or make fun of you for it remember nobody cares and one thing you will also see as you get older people gravitate towards people that are passionate about things that have a cause remember I told you about positive energy having a good circle I know me that even when I meet people that what they do for their career their passion their hobbies their interests I don't really care about that but I also gravitate towards these people because their passion their discipline their energy for something inspires me passion is infectious and I hope you can consider what yours is and how you can make it more a big part of your life to inspire others now remember when I said nobody cares nobody cares nobody cares nobody cares about you and what you do you know why because the honest truth is that people are so focused on what they're doing people are thinking that other people care but honestly the truth is that we're always thinking about ourselves we're all very egocentric so if you have this thought that oh are people gonna think I'm weird are people gonna think I'm doing something crazy are people not gonna like me let your flag fly do what you love to do nobody cares be yourself now I've talked a lot about how to be more confident in today's episode set clear goals move towards them every day control your self talk eliminate negative energy get comfortable being uncomfortable find your passion and embrace it nobody cares I want to add another one find good people find your tribe the last 3 tips I want to share with you maybe a bit controversial because these last three tips I think that they are very important but that might be for me personally but I do want you to hear me out on what I have to say because these next three tips they do have an impact on how you may be viewed your perception and they do have some weight in our society OK so exercise I want to start this off by saying that looks are not everything I think right now we have so many fitness influencers on social media people showing these amazing bodybuilder physiques powerlifters lifting crazy weight everyone is a model everyone looks so beautiful so amazing and I think that in some ways that has really warped our reality of what we should look like what I want to say to you is that looks are not everything not everybody needs to look like a bodybuilder needs to look like a athlete needs to be a bikini model you are beautiful the way you are but if you have a certain idea a certain goal of how you would like to look like there is absolutely no problem with that whatsoever and that is beautiful as well and so that's why I want you to consider exercise as a means to build your confidence and I'm not only talking about the physical aspect of it so from a scientific standpoint it is true that when you exercise when you do physical exercise physical activities these do increase our endorphins and endorphins are chemicals that do make us happier but I want you to think about exercise like this when we are healthy when our bodies are functioning well when we don't have joint pain ligament pain when our thoughts are clear when we are physically able these things definitely contribute to our happiness because if we have injuries if we are unable to chase our kids around if we are unable to do daily physical stuff in our life because of our physical limitations because we have pain because of multiple reasons these things will affect your happiness and exercise definitely can help contribute to a longer healthier hopefully fulfilling life and so for me personally I no for me this is my example that I will share with you I've been exercising lifting weights for a long long time and for me personally my mood is kind of like this when I'm in good shape my idea of good shape when I feel I look my best when I feel that my performance in the sport or exercise I do are pretty good or at least have improvement or constant I feel that in my daily life when I don't feel happy about something I know that I will feel even worse if I've let myself go I personally have a really bad problem with momentum in that sometimes I'll be doing really really really really good sometimes my fitness my diet my physique my strength will really be up there and then life will get in the way I'll get busy I'll get stressed out I'll start eating a little bit too much I won't have time to go to the gym I start slacking off and then all of a sudden my belly gets a bit bigger than I'd like it to be for me personally if I am able to have a decent diet a regular gym routine if I am able to have progression in the gym for me this makes me happier and it also lets me know that I'm staying disciplined because for me discipline is very very important this is my situation my story it's what makes me happy for you if you are someone that may feel the same way I would encourage you again to consider exercise to boost your confidence again not only from the way you might like the way you look not only from the outside aspect of it but for your long term health because at the end of the day health is wealth the next point I want to talk to you about is a little controversial and I'm struggling right now about how I want to word this in the correct way because it may make a lot of people upset it may have people hate me say how do you know my situation you're a different situation than I am I can't help myself but I do think it is extremely extremely important and I think one aspect of confidence feeling comfortable in life is money now I'm not talking about getting rich I'm not talking about making as much money as possible of course these things are a good thing as well right some would say bad all I want to say is this money will never make you truly happy but not having any money can make you truly unhappy these are both sides of the coin and I think a big aspect of being confident is not having any worries not feeling like well I can't do this because if I do how am I supposed to eat how am I supposed to live how am I supposed to pursue my dreams when I can't even afford to live my life every single day and that's why I think that money can help you with that and what I'm talking about specifically is saving your money you see I am middle aged OK not a young man not a old man and I've been very blessed in my life to make good money at different points in life but I will tell you that there was a time in my twenties in my early 30s where I made a lot of money but I didn't save it and whenever I watch a lot of great interviews with really really rich people they always say the same thing it's not about how much money you make it's about how much money you keep and I think this is very important because in life there will always be a few moments where you will make the most in your lifetime of course everyone is different different levels right there will only be a few moments in your life maybe business inheritance you get X amount of money from a gift legal lawsuit your job a bonus a promotion a business whatever you will not always make the same amount of money all the time so you have to consider saving some of it somehow some way because later on in life if you have some money saved you may have more courage and confidence to do things you wouldn't consider before you may have the ability to try new things that may cost X amount of money now again I completely understand that everybody is in a completely different situation this is very important I don't want you to think that I'm telling you save your money even if you don't make any money no no no no no remember do what you gotta do to take care of yourself to live to take care of your family take care of your responsibilities but I would ask you to consider is there any way possible for you that you could save a little bit of it so that this way these daily incremental savings can hopefully give you a security blanket in the future so that in the future God forbid something happens to you where you can rely on this savings you lose a job you have a terrible injury something happens where you are not able to make money so you need to rely on these savings so that's all I would ask of you if there's any way you could save a little bit again I'm not the richest guy not the most successful guy but I am very proud to have had good friends saving practices in my life and you will see a lot of interviews with very rich people talking about how they went from nothing to something without any help or without any family anything if you want to learn more look to them I am not a financial guru but I would help you ask you to consider that now finally we come to our last point and I think that this last point is extremely critical and much like points 8 9 exercise and money I think it is very controversial but I want you to hear me out and I think that for me once I understood this last point I was able to move forward in my life to achieve some more and to accomplish more of my goals and that is life is not fair life sucks and then you die there is no way around it regardless of how good you look how much money you make how successful you are we all will end up in the same place in the ground we are all going to die and you need to understand that we're all at different starting points in our life or where we want to be and yes you may have this goal and you are competing with Person a B and C Person a is already rich person B comes from a wealthy family Person C may be in the same financial situation you are but they have a better family situation they've worked for 20 years ahead of you they have the advantage of time life is not fair there is absolutely nothing we can do about this and I think that what most people do is they complain they complain they say this is not fair I don't have that I can't do that and I will tell you right now you're right you're absolutely right it is unfair the problem is that we only have two choices we can continue to complain and do nothing or we can move forward and try our absolute best and that is unfortunately the reality of life because again 1 life sucks and then you die 2 and unfortunately we all only have so much time to get these things done especially when you get older when you're young you have a lot more freedom to try these different things hopefully you came from a decent situation where the world was your oyster but then you get older you have to work you have to pay your rent you have to graduate you start a family you have to work you get married you have kids and then you die and that's it so I would encourage you to think about what I'm saying life is not fair life sucks and yes let me tell you something I am a very jealous person as well for example you watching this video right now I believe my production value the fact that I can sit here and talk to you for an hour straight is very impressive I believe I'm a much better presenter than a lot of my competitors but their numbers are so much better than mine it's not fair it isn't what can I do quit give up complain about it make videos about them I can't because I accept the fact that life isn't fair I accept the fact that these people they look better than me are market they are more presentable they are generally more liked they have more followers more subscribers they possibly have more money than I do that's the reality of the situation I can't do anything about it I can't change anything about it all I can change is myself all I can do is do my best and move forward believe in myself and hopefully somehow some way get closer to my goals and at the end of the day I can sleep well I can sleep proudly why because I know at the end of the day after all it was said and done I didn't give up I didn't lay down I didn't just lay down and die now I gave it my all and I tried my best and I want you to consider that as well because there's nothing we can do to change our circumstances there's nothing we can do whatsoever right I know it sounds like socondescending for me to tell you just be positive life isn't fair just do it when you possibly have no money you possibly are in a bad situation you possibly maybe have a physical ailment you possibly have X y and Z problems that are much worse than mine and trust me when I tell you I am extremely empathetic towards you I am so blessed and I thank god every single day that I have what I have but there is always somebody out there that is worse than you are there is always somebody out there that is in a worse situation that you are in and at the end of the day life sucks and then you die it is cold it is brutal it almost hurts to say it 但是the talk the clock is always ticking always ticking we have no time consider it and once you understand that once you accept that I help you use that not as hatred but as motivation to help you become more confident and become the person that you want to be alright ladies and gentlemen that's the end of today's episode again recap to you 10 tips to be more confident set clear goals move towards them every day control yourself talk eliminate negative energy get comfortable being uncomfortable find your passion embrace it nobody really cares exercise save money and life is not fair please please please if you listen to this episode today please let me know your thoughts please let me know what you thought about these tips please tell me how you can implement them in your life and also please I encourage you if you disagree with me please tell me I'm wrong as well I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like all these things are easy they're not or that I'm right in every single way I'm not as well I'm not a perfect human being but I can tell you again that these are things that I have utilized in my life that have made me a happy person today and for me my happiness my family's happiness these things are quite important to me OK and I promise everyone here as well that this is a comedy podcast OK we're supposed to be happy we're supposed to be having a good time I know I think my last two episodes were a little too serious but I want to say to you that ijust felt this is a very important topic to talk about especially because I know that I have a lot of younger followers and I hope that in some way this was very helpful for you OK so thanks again everyone and I'll see you next time bye bye