Finns & Sports

Finland may not be a football superpower, but when it comes to weird sports, we're hard to beat. In this episode, I take you through some of the strangest competitions you'll find— invented by Finns themselves. From wife carrying and swamp soccer to rubber boot throwing and other wonderfully bizarre traditions, this is a dive into the weird sport side of Finnish culture. 

Instagram: miikka_martikainen

Transcript

Speaker 0:06

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Finncastic Podcast. It's presented by me, Miikka Martikainen, your uh very own uh fantastic uh social media funny guy. And uh yeah the idea of this podcast uh basically it popped to my head last night while I was thinking that hey what should I do next? What should I do next? Because uh I already do a lot of stuff online and uh yeah I thought hey why wouldn't I start a podcast then and and talk about the same stuff basically what I already do in my short videos, but why I wanted to start a podcast is that you know on social media you need to create those uh very fast-paced uh short videos and you need to cut all the silence and and that's not so authentic, but uh yeah, in this podcast episode you can just talk shit for one hour and it and basically uh it will be fine. And that's why I wanted to start this, and I want to have this. I mean, I want to keep this as authentic as possible, meaning that I don't do here any uh no uh extra, you know, cuts or or uh fix some grammar issues. I do uh I want to keep this uh as authentic as possible, like I would be talking to you directly in person. So that's why I I wanted to start this. So yeah, obviously this podcast is about Finnish culture, it's related related to Finland, uh but yeah, it's also includes some humoristic aspects because uh I think that is part of who I am and and uh part of the way I present things. I have no idea how long I'm gonna do this or how many episodes I'm gonna do this. Uh it's good to have this uh non-diagnosed ADHD because uh it gives you uh these kind of wild ideas you want to try. So this is the latest one I'm gonna try. So uh uh nevertheless, uh in today's episode, in today's episode we're talking about sports. It's kinda aftermath of the uh football world cup, and and uh I was watching the football world cup, and all the time I was thinking when I when I was watching it that why Finland is not there, why it has never been there, and probably why it never will be there. Well, I don't want to sound so pessimistic, but uh I don't have a lot of uh hope that we will be there in near future. And yeah, I I I first things that I thought uh started thinking the reason, you know, the the why why fans are not there. I first started thinking that okay, hey, we have a winter, you know, uh we have a very shit uh weather conditions, you know, we don't have uh like a good base uh line for uh for uh football activities. We are we are we are good in in skiing and in ice hockey, but not not in football. So I I started blaming weather because obviously I don't wanna I don't wanna blame our uh nation and our our uh what we are uh in the firstly but then I started thinking that hey why Norway is there if Finns are not there? These these guys are living in quite the same kind of conditions as we are, at least from the uh geopolitical uh perspective. So I started thinking that hey, okay, uh maybe it's not because of the weather conditions, it it must be something else. And uh yeah, then I got this bright idea that can it be related somehow to Finnish culture and what Finns are that we are not I mean that is that the reason why we are not there playing in the World Cup? And basically is that the reason why we are kinda bad in football? And while I was watching the World Cup, the whole time I was uh you know scanning how those players operate there and and how how the whole thing works. And the whole football is basically based on different kinds of whining, you know, whining and crying, and I don't want to, you know, rage bait here. Uh I know it's a very uh you know popular sport, and I've also played football a little bit myself, and uh, you know, I I I like it and it is nice, but it's not for Finns. I mean we are so you know uh straight. Uh I want to use the word straight, uh it might uh give a wrong um impression, but you know, uh we are not the persons who are like faking and and and and whining and you know crying in every goddamn second. You have a a chance for that. And I know it's because in football, you know, those players they might be the most alpha persons in in real life, and and then they are doing it all that kind of stuff in the football because it gives them advance, you know. Some opponent might get a yellow card or something like that when you do some nice little diving and and and roll like a goddamn uh ball uh in a field and and cry to referee about it. But I think that might be one reason why Finns are not so good in football and and why it's not like it's not so good for uh you know uh Finnish person because you know it's just if I think about myself, I I'm a DNA tested 100% Finn. I would never I could never you know fake some like that there, you know, somebody touches me a little bit and I I've started rolling and crying there in the field while uh 100,000 people are watching me in a stadium. I could never do that, and I I I I believe that many Finns cannot do that as well. And since that's part of football, I think that might be the reason why we're not so good at it. Or there might be some other reasons as well, but at least that could be one reason, and I know somebody's gonna think now that I'm shit talking about football or or somehow you know uh not respecting that sport. I I respect that sport a lot, I respect athletes a lot, and uh I would never want to, you know, uh rage bait in these kind of uh things, but yeah, I I was just sort of thinking that. Could it be that football is not so good for uh Finnish personality? But you know, in normal football is not good, but there's also another kind of football. I'm not talking about American football, I'm talking about swamp football. And by the way, Finns invented that sport. And if I've understood correctly, Finns are also world champions in that sport. So why are we good in that football and not in uh in a traditional football? I think the name already says it all. I mean uh swamp football or swamp however you pronounce that, swamp football is played in the swamps. Yeah, you are crawling there like uh butt deep in that swamp while you are playing football. And obviously, obviously, there's not you know filming or whatever, flopping or what whatever it's called when somebody's faking there. It's like uh very dirty, very harsh sport. And I believe that is something that fits better to you know Finnish personality, you know uh playing football in a in the swamp without a proper uh rules, without whining the referee in every second you can. And that's why I believe we are world champions and that and not in traditional football. So yeah, that I think this uh this kind of uh this fact it uh kind of backs me up that it might be the reason that we are not so good in traditional football is that it's what we thinks are. But that's not the only sport to swamp football we are good at. Obviously, everyone knows that we're good in in ice hockey, you know, in hockey. Uh yeah, won the another world champion, uh, world championship again last year, I mean this year. And uh yeah, obviously why uh why hockey is uh so popular and popular in Finland is that yeah, well, uh we have a lot of ice rinks everywhere. We have a lot of winter, so what else would you do than plays uh play hockey or or uh or ski? And also I believe that hockey is uh you know a little bit more rougher sport than football. I mean, yeah, it's it's a lot of rougher sports since uh it's a contact sport, so uh it uh it kind of fits better to finish personality, you know, be rough out there, tackle guys around and uh you know score some goals and not whine to referee in every second you can. Obviously, nowadays, uh or more like unfortunately nowadays, it's also uh I mean in hockey there's also the same kind of uh things that I see in football. I mean, there's some flopping or film filming, however you want to say it. I mean, when somebody is faking something, like uh crying in a field or crying in ice uh ice, so there is uh definitely some similarities nowadays, which is bad, but nevertheless, hockey is much more rougher sport than football, and that's why I think it fits good to fence. But yeah, uh that's not the only sport. Yeah, obviously, we're good in skiing because that's the other thing that basically drives us to do what else could you do when there's uh 50% of the year is uh snow and ice everywhere, so yeah, you can start skiing. And uh, we're also pretty good in it, but not as good as Norwegians. Uh these guys are basically I believe Norway is like a new Sweden and they they are suddenly they are better than Finns in basically in everything. Luckily not in ice hockey yet, but pretty darn close. They are they are getting better. But those are not the only sports Finns are good at. Have you ever heard about uh Sangkohi Biminen? Uh uh Bucket uh sneaking. Uh it's a I I actually I actually heard about this sport like a couple of years back, but I believe it's been uh there, been here, been been around for at least one decade. So uh bucket sneaking, uh well it uh has has its origins uh related to the fact that Vince loves buckets. So uh buckets uh sneaking is that you basically need to sneak around with buckets, uh one bucket in in in in in in both of I mean yeah, bucket in your right hand and bucket in your left hand. You need to sneak around uh different objects while you carry those buckets, and that's that's all that's everything I know about it. And uh yeah, well that's a professional sport in in Finland. There's a there's a a bucket sneaking Finnish Championship League, and these people are are like uh really doing it for real. Uh yeah, just uh Google Sangkohi Piminen or Pocket Sneaking, I think you might find something in English as well. So yeah, uh that's uh one sport it seems we are good at, but that's not all. That's not all. There's also uh Eucon Kanto, wife carrying uh I believe that's a yeah, that's a wife carrying world championship. So that's a global sport that's invented in Finland, and yeah, it's about the uh you need to uh carry your wife uh around a uh track as fast as possible, and there are some different kinds of objects and obstacles around. And if I've understood correctly, you will win the amount of beer uh your wife weights. And that's a that's not a there's that's not a Finnish championship league, that's a world championship league. And yeah, obviously that's something that Finns have invented, and obviously that's something that Finns also have the uh world championship. Another sport we are good at. I mean Google wife carrying wife carrying, and you will see pictures how that sport is. And if you want to be brave, you can also uh you know uh part participate to that one year. I should participate to that as well. Someday. Maybe someday. But yeah, that's also one uh sport we are good at. I mean, I always think that who the who who in the Perekele invents these sports, like yeah, let's just start carrying our wives around and and uh whoever wins the shit gets uh the amount of beer that her his wife is uh waiting. I mean, wait, wait, so uh yeah, I mean who who who who invents this? I mean and that's also a professional, it's a it's a huge uh happening. I mean it's like uh uh when I well I'm I'm I'm reading some news while I I uh I'm I'm uh recording this uh podcast and it's been around since 1996. So uh the wife carrying championship, world championship has been around 30 years, and uh there's some competitors from uh Singapore and Philippines and all around the world, people are just uh decided to come to Finland and uh compete in in wife carrying championship. And the origins of this sport are based to a a uh yeah well looks like uh it's related to something uh what happened 30 years ago in one bar. So I can already imagine that some guys were drinking and thinking that hey guys, what should we do? Like we we should do some kind of sport here. Like they're they would be, you know, they're drunk as drunk as hell, and then start thinking, hey guys, what why should we compete? These darts is kinda boring. Hey, let's just grab our wives and start running around carrying them around, and who whoever our fastest, you know, gets gets the amount of beer their wife weights. And and and for some reason this sport you know grows a global uh you know, real sport. Like, goddamn, I really should participate in that because how cool it would be that you could just you know walk and talk and then say you know, in in some bar you're drinking, and somebody asks that, hey, what do you do? Yeah, I'm a wife-carrying world champion, you're talking to world champion. Like, I mean, yeah, obviously, it's probably not so cool as being a world champion in in some Formula One or something like that, but world champion is a world champion, and if that's a real sport, like a legit sport, then being the world's best in it means something. I mean, yeah, I could be a world champion in that, I believe. Or probably not when I look at these pictures, these guys, guys carrying their wives, they uh they look kinda fit. So I believe I should start uh lifting some weights. I I don't want to say that my wife uh is heavyweight or anything, but uh she's not. But these guys look fit. I probably would not win that shit if I if I uh participated to that. But yeah, that's uh weird, weird uh sport. And what else do we have in Finland? Well, uh we have the uh hobby horsing uh championship, and uh it's like uh I mean yeah, you you run around obstacles like you do with the real horse, but instead of having a real horse, you have a have a stick that has a horse head. Nah. In the end of Netstick. And I first thought that this sport is like only for you know uh kids, and and I I I I think it's quite and yeah, I was like, okay, that's good, that's good. You know, kids stay out of trouble when they run around some track with a a a hobby horse, you know, uh a horse-looking toy. But then I started seeing pictures that adults are doing it as well. But I mean, yeah, well, probably those adults stay away from trouble as well while they do that, so that's a nice sport as well. But wait, that's not it. That there's more, there's even more weird sports in Finland. I I probably cannot even uh say all of them from top of my head, but at least another sport that I know is uh paneto, uh rubber boot throw-in. So uh yeah, you basically throw rubber boot as uh far as possible, and that's also like a legit real sport, it's like a people are are really like uh really competing in it. And uh that's also a it looks like it's also a world world uh class sport, a global sport. So if you win in rubber boot throwing, you can say that you're a rubber boot throwing champion, world champion. Is there anything that Finns uh would not compete against each other? I I think that's the fact that because uh we we are so bad in football, we need to you know uh invent these sports that we are good at so that we can say that hey, by the way, we are world champions in uh in wife carrying, and by the way, we are world champions in uh in uh in uh in uh swamp football. Like you need to you need to create these sports that suits to you. And also uh a little bit, I don't know, is this a sport or more like a like a uh creative artistic kind of competition, like a like uh like a Eurovision kind of competition because we are so bad in those uh Eurovision competitions, so we needed to create something that we are good at and something that we can say that uh we are the world champions. Air guitar world championship. Yeah, you can Google that. Probably in English if that's easier. Also, uh that's uh that was arranged arranged for the first time in 1996. 30 years ago. That also uh grew grew up to a global sport. Yeah. So you need to play air guitar like you would play a real guitar, but instead of uh playing a real guitar, you don't have a real guitar, you're playing air guitar, and and and uh we compete in that. And that's a that's a global phenomenon, global sport, world championship sport, or I don't know if that is that's even a sport. I believe that's more like a artistic kind of competition. And I believe that's the that's because we always lose to Sweden in uh in uh Eurovision, so we needed to create something that we're good at. I mean there's so many things you can compete in Finland like for real compete that you cannot even imagine. I mean you can I believe uh you can create any kind of sport in Finland and uh and somehow it just uh grows up to be a global phenomenon. And uh it's kinda it's kinda weird. I mean it's it's funny and it's weird at the same time because uh these sports really you know they don't make any sense. But on the other hand, does sports like very popular sports make any sense if you if you think about football again? It's basically uh guys running around field and kicking some ball. Like I mean, if aliens would you know uh watch our doings, they wouldn't think that uh life carrying is any different or or weirder than a football, than playing football. I mean some sports have just you know uh got some kind of a more popular and more sophisticated stamp in them than the others, and the other sports are more like memes. But nevertheless, if you are a world champion, who the pedica cares in what sport you are a world champion? World champion is always a world champion. I think uh that's all for today, and uh let's see what we talk in the next episode in Finncastic Podcast. Ta ta .