Sitting Long and Getting Tired - Fukan Zanzengi (Part 3)

Sitting Long and Getting Tired - Fukan Zanzengi (Part 3) - Kanshin Allison Tait - May 10th 2026 - Suggested Donation $5

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Good morning everybody. Welcome to Seattle Soto Zen. And uh is oh it is recording. You can tell because the red lights on. Um my name is Kanshin. I'm the resident teacher here. And uh our current text is uh called the Fukunza Zengi. It's uh Dogen Zenji's brief manual for uh Zen meditation. And uh I was thinking earlier this week that the the next paragraph in the Fukunza Zengi uh is short. So I was like, well, maybe we can do two paragraphs this week. Uh and then I thought, or maybe we can keep this dharma talk short and people can make it to brunch on time. Uh, you know, and I was the first Dharma talk I gave at Seattle Soda's end was on Mother's Day, uh 2019, and I was still all aglow from uh practice period at Tasahara with my teacher. Um I was also just gonna quickly say happy Mother's Day to all the mothers here, but uh you know it's not it's not happy for all the mothers here or for all the children. Um so I wanted to say something really quickly about that. You know, I think um we we all know that uh our bodies come from our mothers' bodies, right? So as long as this body is alive, my mother's body lives on through my body. Um another thing that the scientists only realized uh fairly recently is that uh every person who's ever been pregnant, um, their body is actually a mosaic uh to some extent. Some of the fetal cells uh actually become incorporated in the mother's body, um, which incidentally might be part of the reason why women are more susceptible to autoimmune disorders. Um but also, you know, for me, um uh I'm I'm a mother, but my children died uh before birth and shortly after birth. Um and uh you know some days it gives me comfort to know that as long as this body is alive, my my children's bodies also live in this body.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Um but uh of course it's not you know cellular biology that makes a mother. Uh and uh the last time I met with my beloved teacher, um Yogen Steve Stuki, uh I asked him for advice going forward.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Um, neither of us knew at the time that he had uh terminal cancer. Um he told what he told me was uh don't let it be cut off. So I didn't realize at the time it's a line from the dharma transmission ceremony, uh, where one becomes uh a fully authorized teacher in the Soto Zen tradition. But I don't think uh Steve was saying, you know, I expect you to receive Dharma transmission and then give Dharma transmission to a student. Uh I think he was saying, you know, maintain this warm heart relationship between teachers and students because that is what keeps our school going. And I think that is, you know, our responsibility and our joy. And actually, in this uh particular uh section of the Fukun Zazenki, my teacher Norman Fisher has a short commentary on these lines uh in his book, The World Could Be Otherwise. And one thing he says, there is something more lurking in this passage, a profound teaching about time. Think about it. The notion that the Buddha, or you or I, is unawakened and will later be awakened implies a particular concept of time, a linear one. Time is a road we walk on, the past is behind us, and we are taking steps here in the present toward a future that is up ahead. We were suffering, we are suffering, but in the future we will no longer suffer. It is clear from what Dogan is saying here, as well as in other writings, that Dogin denies this conventional notion of time. He is perfectly aware that the Pali Sutras say that the Buddha suffered, struggled, and was awakened in a linear time frame. And Dogin does not intend to contradict the scriptures, but rather reveal their true meaning. He believes that they contain an implied deeper teaching about time. The moment of suffering and the moment of awakening don't entail in a linear fashion. Sacred time doesn't operate by the same rules as ordinary time. In sacred time, all moments occur at once. The moment when we sit in meditation with our suffering hearts is the same moment when the Buddha suffers, awakens, and teaches. It all happens at once. Time and space are themselves the events of simultaneous and all inclusive. We are literally meditating with the Buddha. His suffering and our suffering, his awakening and our awakening, as well as that of all beings, occurs with our every breath.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

So as we sit, we sit with the Buddha and for all beings. And I hope today that uh you can be gentle with yourself and gentle with your mother. So our story so far, Fukun Zazengi.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Uh so this uh Dogen's uh meditation manual was written when he was he was fairly young, he was age 27, and this was shortly after Dogen uh returned from China, which is where he met and studied with his true teacher Ruzing. Uh you know, in in one of uh a recent meeting with my teacher Norman Fisher. I I called, I said, uh, yeah, in our lineage document, it at Dogan it it's it it has two lineages until Dogen, and then they converge into one. And I said it's because Dogen had two daddies, and Norman said, No, I think Rujing was Dogen's mommy. He definitely had a very warm heart relationship with Rujing. Um, and then uh you know, the same year that Rujing died, uh Dogen returned from China to Japan. And uh the first thing he wrote upon his return is uh the Fukenza Zengi, the uh meditation instructions for anyone. And uh as a young monk, uh Dogen's great preoccupation of his practice was the burning question you know, if we're all already inherently enlightened, why do we have to work so hard? Which I paraphrase as why is it so difficult to be a human being? So last week we discussed uh Dogen's caution against overexcitement in practice. So when we have some kind of insight or breakthrough or peak experience in our meditation, then we we make the uh somewhat logical, though definitely premature, uh intuitive leap to oh, I'm enlightened now. I have transcended my human suffering, and the normal rules of human society no longer apply to me. I have everything figured out forever.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

That is basically never true.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

So Dogan tells us, you know, uh, and basically every meditation teacher agrees, settle that. Congratulations on your insight. Uh but you know, don't get too excited. And today's conversation is about what about all those other periods of meditation where I don't experience any kind of insight or breakthrough or peak experience. Uh after I'd been at uh the monastery for a couple of years, you know, I uh remember I had a talk with my practice leader about, you know, how you know it had been months and I hadn't had any breakthrough or insight or peak experience. And she said, ah, the dry place. Uh and my teacher Norman Fisher, one of uh his writings, you can find it in his book, um, When You Greet Me, I Bow, uh, is about the stages of monastic practice. And uh, one of the stages is called you know the dry place. It's where you know you've achieved something, and then for a long time afterwards, nothing happens. Um, and uh, you know what Norman says about it? Says, yeah, it's really, really difficult. Uh there is really no good part to being in the dry place. Uh, you just have to get through it, and the only way to get through it is to ask for help. So Dogen Senji isn't he isn't actually talking about the dry place, but he is talking about you know this continuing to practice even when you're not having you know really uh immediate results. He says, Need I mentioned the Buddha, who was possessed of inborn knowledge, the influence of his six years of upright sitting is noticeable still. So the the Buddha, Shakimuni Buddha, according to legend, he was extraordinary from birth. In fact, uh we we celebrated the Buddha's birthday uh about three weeks ago, I think. And uh the the story of the Buddha's birth, the popular mythology of the Buddha's birth, says that uh immediately after he was born, the Buddha was able to walk and to speak. He was born, he immediately took seven steps, and then he pointed up with one hand, he pointed down with the other hand, and he said, And the heavens above and the earth below, I alone am the world-honored one.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

He's quite a precocious child.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

And then for the next 30 years, he didn't do anything that was written down, and finally, at age 30, Shakyamuni Buddha left behind his comfortable life and set out on a spiritual quest. And pretty much he was looking for the answer to the question: why is it so difficult to be a human being? Right? I am a human being, so I should know what it means to be a human being. I should know how to do this already. Because it's what I I'm doing, because it's what I am. But I actually don't know. Why is that? What is wrong with us? So Shaky Muni Buddha at age 30, he left home and then he spent the next six years wandering all around India, uh, trying on various spiritual methodologies and studying with various teachers. And uh he would reach the point with each of these teachers and each of these techniques where he figured it had taken him as far as it could, and he still didn't have the answer to his questions. So he would move on. And finally, after six years, he realized well, none of the existing religions are quite right. I'm just gonna have to invent my own. So Dogin Senji is saying, you know, Shakyamuni Buddha, he wasn't he was inherently enlightened, but not just in the way that we're all inherently enlightened. I mean, he was so inherently enlightened that he had celestial spirits volunteer to be midwives at his birth. And they actually bathed him and dressed him before he he even touched the ground for the first time. So, you know, if he had all of this knowledge already, why did he study? Why did he even look for a teacher in the first place? Why did he go from teacher to teacher? Why did he study and why did he meditate for so long? You know, he shouldn't have had to. The moment of birth, he said, heavens above and the earth below, I alone am the world honored one, right? So why didn't he just start teaching immediately after that? And uh again, uh Norman has some commentary on this. In this paragraph of the text, Dogin explains why meditation is worthwhile, even though we don't really need it. Consider the Buddha. Although he was wise from birth, the traces of his six years of upright sitting can yet be seen. As for Bodhidharma, although he had received the mind seal, his nine years of facing a wall is celebrated still. If even the ancient sages were like this, how can we today dispense with wholehearted practice? There is something important in this practice, in this passage that isn't obvious. It is the secret of Dogen's approach to meditation. He is saying that contrary to what we might have thought and what Buddhism seems to say, the Buddha didn't meditate in order to become awakened and ed his suffering. He meditated because he was already awakened. The Buddha meditated because he was already awakened. Similarly, the Central Asian monk Bodhidharma, the legendary founder of Zen in China, meditated facing a wall for nine years, not in order to awaken, but because he was already awakened. Maybe we could understand Dogen's point in this way. The human body is already awakened. The body knows precisely how to live the truth of impermanence and permanence. It knows how to change moment by moment and understands how things arise and pass away simultaneously. The body is perfectly capable of dying and mixing with other elements to continue its journey forever. Just as the Buddha and Bodhidharma were already awakened before they practiced, so our bodies are already awakened, even if our minds and hearts are not. Our already awakened bodies lead us to the meditation cushion and guide us through the gentle passage to peace. For Dogan, the Buddha and Bodhidharma were inspiring devotional figures in whom he had warm faith. Since they practice sitting meditation because they were already awakened, we too should practice it because we too are already awakened. We should practice it with them, for them, and for all sacred living creatures who share this same nature of already being awakened Buddhas. For Dogan, formal meditation is not instrumental effort, it is a devotional practice.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

That's the next line.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

The fame of his nine years of wall sitting is celebrated to this day. So uh Bodhidharma is the at least semi-mythical, possibly completely mythical, founder of Zen Buddhism in China, uh around the sixth century of the Common Era. Uh he may have been based on a real person, uh, or maybe three to five different real people who got conflated into one person. Uh, or maybe, you know, he's was, you know, some sort of myth that grew into being to explain Zen in China. But the story is that uh Bodhidharma um was a monk on the Indian subcontinent, possibly uh in Persia, possibly further south. And uh he received Dharma transmission, that what uh Dong calls the mind seal from his teacher Prajnatara. Uh and after that, Bodhidharma was uh inspired to travel to the barbarian country of China and teach the poor suffering beings there the proper Buddha Dharma. So the first first koan in the Blue Cliff Records uh is the story of Bodhidharma's encounter with uh the emperor shortly after Bodhidharma arrived in South China. Um and although the emperor was very impressed with Bodhidharma, it turned out that uh the other established Buddhist monks practicing in that part of China, uh they didn't really appreciate uh Bodhidharma telling them you're doing Zen wrong. Uh so he didn't get a very warm welcome there. Uh so he went north to uh Shallin Temple and uh sat down to meditate in a cave close to Shallon Temple, and uh the legend is that he settled down in this cave, crossed his legs, faced the wall, and spent the next nine years meditating. He didn't speak a single word to anyone, and those nine years, all he did was eat, sleep, and sit. Some of the legends say he didn't even eat or sleep. And uh, you know, this this made an impression the way um his confrontation of the monks in in South China couldn't. People were you know really inspired. You know, we find we find hermits inspiring and and interesting, right? And uh some of the monks at uh the Shalin temple. were really interested in, you know, what's this funny looking guy with the beard doing sitting so much for so long? And uh eventually you know when when he emerged from meditation, some of these monks became his students. And uh that is how Zen became established in China.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

And there's a a famous koan, one of my favorite koans.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

It's a 17th case in the Blue Cliff Records. A monk asks Xiang Ling why did the ancestor Bodhidharma come from the West? Xian Lin replied Sitting long, getting tired Why did the ancestor Bodhidharma come from the West? Sitting long and getting tired and the commentary by Matthew Juxin Sullivan says in this case Shengling Cheng Yuan who lived from 908 to 987 of Kamanira gives away one of the deepest secrets of Buddhism. It's a family secret and like all family secrets it is both shameful and hidden in plain sight. Of all the ancient teachers only Xiang Lin had the courage to call out its name. Shang Lin says that meditation is tiresome but what he really means is that it's boring. It's boring for newcomers, it's boring for masters and boring for Buddhists. Sitting, retreats, monastery life and chanting are all boring. Dharma talks are usually boring too perhaps the most boring sermon I have ever heard was given by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. I slept so soundly through it that I awoke only when the congregation stood up to bow. His holiness had already left I went and brushed my teeth to go deeper into this case it helps to understand the monk's question. The patriarch from the West is Bodhidharma, the legendary Indian teacher who brought the lineage from India where it was apparently so unpopular it nearly died out to China where it burgeoned into dozens of sects hundreds of temples and millions of followers. Because of his journey Indian Buddhism had the opportunity to meet Chinese civilization during one of its most exciting epochs fusing the Dharma with Taoist philosophy, courtly wordplay and earthly humor. This encounter was like flint striking a stone the sparks that showered from this collision are without number the platform sutra, Linji's long lineage, the cases of the Blue Cliff records, not to mention the further migrations of Zen into Korea, Japan and North America Why did the Patriarch come from the West is an inquiry so common in Zen literature is almost a cliche. Yet it remains potent because it calls into question the entire point of Zen Why did Bodhidharma bother when it is all drudgery and boredom? It's not so different than asking why do you get up every morning? Why do you go to work? Why do you meditate? Zen more than any other human art or endeavor teaches us how beautiful and necessary boredom is it's not a downside or a drawback it is a central feature of our tradition when Shanglin says sitting long and getting tired he is uncovering a high and holy truth only boredom can set you free our thoughts continuously seduce us. Emotions fascinate us like a bird in a window will fascinate a cat. But it was only in the unadorned light of boredom that I saw my thoughts were not so worthy of attention How can you take anything seriously when it's so tedious if you meditate enough someday you will become so bored with your own thoughts that you can walk away from them like a child leaving behind the drone of a television in order to play outside this is why Bodhidharma came from the West he is a droning television. He wants to bore you it's part of his plan isn't that a great call what's the point of Zen sitting long and getting tired and Dogen ends this section by saying since this was the case with the saints of old how can we dispense with negotiation of the way you know if the Buddha had to sit for six years and Bodhidharma had to sit for nine years you know what makes me think that I'm so special I can get away with not sitting I remember um I read an interview with Unard Cohen when he was discussing monastic practice and he said well you know the point of uh practicing you know doing long stretches of practice like sashin or practice periods says what you do is you run through all of your sexual fantasies all of your revenge fantasies all of your power fantasies and you run through them until you eventually wear them out and then they just you know become so boring through repetition that you know they no longer have any draw and at that point when you know none of your fantasies are interesting enough to revisit that's when you actually start to do Zen practice you know because you just don't you have no other choice you've already used up all of your distractions you have nothing left but to sit in this body and mind as it is right now and at that moment you know this eternal moment that contains all of our future and all of our past all of our ancestors everyone that will go come after us you know it suddenly opens up into you know this this wide bright field and then we can meet ourselves as Buddha but you know for whatever reason seems to be something we only do as a last resort so you know that's that's what it is even though we already have everything we need and like everything else meditation is is an extra and unnecessary activity we don't need to do it to be who we are nevertheless because you know we are such perverse and complicated creatures not only do we have to do it in order to express the truth of who we already are we have to do it over and over and over again and most of the time it isn't any fun and most of the time it not being any fun is is actually the point if it were too much fun then we would never meet ourselves we'd be raising an aspiration to escalate the very sky and forget about this body and mind this eternal boring moment that contains all moments of past and future and is everything we will ever need. So thank you as always for your kind attention please everyone take very good care of yourselves please take very good care of your mother however your mother exists for you we'll end with the after dharmatak chant which is also on page two may our intention equally extend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha beings are numberless I vow to save them delusions are inexhaustible I vow to end them Dharma gates are boundless I vow to enter them Buddha's way is unsurpassable I vow to become it do we have announcements oh I can stop recording first There we go