Turn The Light Around - Fukan Zazengi (Part 4)

Turn The Light Around - Fukan Zazengi (Part 4) - Kanshin Allison Tait -  May 17th 2026 - Suggested Donation $5

Transcript

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Now I'm spotlighted and we're recording, so we're ready for the before Dharma Top chant, which is in the chat box for those of you on Zoom and on page two of your chant book. You're in the Zendo with us. Penetrating and perfect Dharma is rarely met with even in a hundred thousand billion papas having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept. I vow to taste the truth of the Tatagata's words. Good morning. So over the past couple of weeks, we've been going through uh the Fukan Zazengi, the Zen Meditation Manual of uh Dogen Zenji, the founder of the Soto Zen School in Japan. And I dropped my watch. What a go. Uh so the first several paragraphs were basically uh Dogen Zenji's spiritual crisis, which can be summed up. If we're already innately enlightened, as the Mahayana teachings tell us, why do we have to work so hard to practice then? You know, I think Dogen looked around and he saw uh, you know, horses pretty much know how to be horses. You know, octopuses seem to have a good idea how to be an octopus. Uh they they really don't get any training at all, octopuses. They hatch and they're on their own. Uh but they figure it out, you know. House cats seem to know how to be house cats, you know, they all have their little quirks, but I don't uh I I don't know. I don't know if I could tell if a house cat were having a spiritual crisis, but uh they from the outside it doesn't look like it's a problem from them. And then there's us, right? So, first of all, there's a teaching that we're innately Buddhas, but not only do we not know how to be Buddhas, we don't even know how to be human beings. And a lot of us have been to school for a very long time. Octopuses don't go to school at all. We can spend 20 years of education and still have no idea how to be a human being, not not a better idea when we started than we when we left than when we started. So, like, what is wrong with us? So that's the first several paragraphs of the Fu Kanza Zengi, Dogen's Annual of Meditation, are basically saying, what is wrong with us? And now uh in the fourth paragraph, we're we're actually moving into the the meditation instruction portion of Dogen Zenji's meditation instruction. So after going on about how, you know, we're Buddhas. I know, I know I'm a Buddha, but I still have to do this difficult spiritual practice because I don't know, that's just how it is. Uh Dogen goes on to say, you should therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech. So a few months ago, uh uh someone interested in Zen came in for our first Sunday beginner's orientation, and then he asked if you know I would be willing to answer a few of his questions about Zen practice. Of course, I was more than happy to. And uh they said something I found uh quite interesting. He said that you know, I've been interested in Zen meditation for quite a while, but you know, what was holding me back was um I really have an issue with the anti-intellectualism and Zen teachings. And you know, what when I read lines like, you know, you should therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech, I can understand where he got this idea that Zen is anti-intellectual. Uh, it isn't really. I think um a lot of teachings that sound like this are basically um intended for people who think too much and who believe that they can think their way out of all of their problems. I was actually trained as an engineer in college, so this is an affliction that uh troubles me on a regular basis. Uh actually, my the former abbot of San Francisco's center, Yushan Paul Haller, uh also trained as an engineer, uh civil engineer, um, was a computer engineer. And uh he he told me over and over again, you keep trying to think your way out of problems that thinking didn't get you into. And uh, you know, this is basically what uh Dogan means by should therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech. He isn't saying that, you know, our intellect and you know human language are bad and we should, you know, give them up and uh try to be more like an octopus. He's saying, you know, it's just that thinking minds and our our use of language are they're very useful in situations that are not sitting zazen. When we're sitting zazen, uh they can cause a lot of frustration and confusion. There's a an analogy that it's like uh it's like a knife can't cut itself. So figuring out how thinking works by thinking about it, you know, what when I catch myself doing this, I actually have this really funny mental image of my of trying to bend the blade of a knife around so I could cut the handle of the knife with it. I was like, yeah, that's what I'm doing now. So it's not saying give it up altogether, it's just saying in Zazen, uh this isn't this isn't how how we use our minds to sit zazen. And I have uh some short passages from uh the one of the founders of the other school of Zen. So this is uh Hakoein Zenji's uh idle talk on a night boat, which is a series of essays, and here is here are Hakoen Zenji's meditation instructions. It says, People are disturbed by the particular sufferings that they carry. Those who suffer deeply from cold run around desperately trying to get warm. Those tormented by heat wander restlessly around seeking somewhere cool to rest. So it is with people tormented by their own delusions. They never try to observe the movement of their own minds, but are dragged about by their emotions and sink into further suffering. This is why one must stop for a moment and observe the mind from four directions. When we see the mind clearly, time after time, disturbances settle naturally, quieting like the wind when it ceases. The mind shifts rapidly, and anger, craving, and confusion appear in ever-changing forms. Failing to recognize them, we are tossed around, like a drunk unable to walk a straight line. But if we observe our mental state clearly at the very moment it appears, even a strong emotion loses its force once we look it in the face. Anger and confusion fade when exposed to true observation. Repeating this examination again and again, three times, four times, our delusions weaken further until finally even the roots of suffering vanish and the mind regains its calm. So basically, what we're doing in Zazan, instead of continuing this, you know, stream of thoughts and mental chatter, we're asking who is it that's thinking and observing the process of thoughts and feelings as they arise, as they persist, as they pass away. You know, there's a uh a method of um sort of an alternative to koan practice is called the wado, which is instead of a koan, they give you like short phrases or questions. Who is thinking is a good one and a common one. Uh it actually means uh the the the head of a thought or the head of a word. So it's like instead of, as uh Hakuin Zenji says, instead of being dragged around by our thoughts and feelings, you know, we we actually catch them as they're forming. And you know, at that point we we look at where, you know, how how does how do thoughts and feelings form? Where are they coming from? Where are they going? Who is thinking? So you should therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech, and learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate yourself. This is a very famous metaphor for, you know, what I said of uh for instead of continuing the mental chatter to to turn our observe powers of observation on the process of thinking, right? This is referred to as turning the light around to illuminate within and taking the backward step. I think um it's been used a few times. Uh Master Linji uh Rinzai in Japanese talked about you know turning taking the backward step and turning the light around. So I'm not sure uh if it actually has a single origin. Um just as an aside, when uh when I was doing my chaplaincy training, uh I was trained as an interfaith chaplain, and uh for my mentor said for you know, interfaith services, you know, you're pretty safe using light as a metaphor and as an object. So, you know, no matter what faith tradition people are in, if they have no faith at all, uh light is usually something people respond to. And then my very first volunteer chaplain gig was at a school for the blind. I went back to my mentor, I'm like, you're useless. So uh where Dogen Zenji gets the expression to take the backward step and turn the light around to illuminate yourself is from uh Zen Master Hangzhou. And uh Hangzhou uh was uh the abbot at uh the monastery in China where Dogen met his teacher Ruzing. Um Hangzhou was abbot there for for many years, and he he died uh died in 1157, and uh Dogen was born in uh the year 1200. So um he was probably Dogen's great grandfather in terms of Dharma, Dharma uh relationship. But uh he really appreciated Hangzo's teaching, and in fact, in uh Dogen's um collection of essays, the Shobul Genzo, he quotes Hangzhou more than anyone else. And uh there's a wonderful uh English translation of Hangzi's uh um kind of as a long essay in praise of uh Soto Zen meditation of Shikantaza, which is called uh in English Cultivating the Empty Field. It's very, very lovely. So Hong Zu says, with the depths clear and utterly silent, thoroughly illuminate the source, empty and spirited, vast and bright. Even though you have lucidly scrutinized your image and no shadow or echo meets it, searching throughout, you see that you still have distinguished between the merits of a hundred undertakings. Then you must take the backward step and directly reach the middle of the circle from where the light issues forth. Then you must take the backward step and directly reach the middle of the circle from where light issues forth. Outstanding and independent, still you must abandon pretext for merit. Carefully discern that naming engenders beings, and that these rise and fall with intricacy. When you can share yourself, then you may manage affairs, and you have the pure seal that stamps the ten thousand forms. Traveling the world, meeting conditions, the self joyfully enters samadhi meditative absorption in all delusions and accept its function, which is to empty out the self so as not to be full of itself. The self joyfully enters samadhi in all delusions and accept its function, which is to empty out the self so as not to be so full of itself. The empty valley receives the clouds, the cold stream cleanses the moon, not departing and not remaining, far beyond all changes, you can give teachings without attainment or expectation. The next line is also very important for Dogen Zenji. So he says, uh Learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate yourself. Body and mind of themselves will drop away. Body and mind of themselves will drop away. So there's uh, you know, as I mentioned already, Dogen was uh as a young monk, was uh was was quite distressed with all of these questions in his practice, and uh that was why he traveled to China. He decided, you know, none of the teachers he met in Japan were able to answer his questions, so he decided he would have to go to China to meet a true Zen teacher, and uh he tried out several Zen teachers in China, and none of them were really fit for him either. And then finally he ended up uh at the monastery of Rujing. And uh the story is that he was sitting along Seshin at Rujing's monastery, and uh the monk sitting beside Dogen fell asleep. And uh Rujing was, I guess, walking around the Zendo, kind of checking on everyone, and he noticed this one monk sleeping, and Ruzing actually took off his slipper and smacked the sleeping monk with it to wake him up, and then he shouted, You are supposed to be dropping off, body and mind. Why are you engaging in just sleeping instead of just sitting? And somehow, upon hearing this phrase, Dogen had this sudden understanding, and all of the questions that had plagued him for so long, he's he finally saw through them. So just you know, for whatever reason the conditions were right, that he heard drop off body and mind, and he suddenly realized, you know, how it is that we can be completely intrinsically Buddha and also still have to work really hard to figure out how to act like you know a true human being. He was just absolutely overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. So he went to uh meet with Rujing in uh the abbot's rooms, and he offered incense and said, I have dropped off body and mind. And then he said that, you know, he'd been searching a long time for his true teacher, and he thought he'd found him and Rujing. And Rujing confirmed Dogen's understanding and accepted him as his student and heir. So what does what does it mean, drop off body and mind? Again, it this doesn't this isn't like doesn't mean we're we throw away our body and mind because we don't like them or we don't need them anymore. Uh it just means that we stop holding on so tightly. Uh Kosho Uchiyama, one of the greatest Zen teachers of the 20th century, um his instructions for Zen meditation is uh it's called opening the hand of thought. And he says, Zha Zen is just about opening the hand of thought. That uh all that we're doing and our practice is we're just relaxing this clenched fist into an open hand. And that's really all that we're doing. And it's you know, it's such a revelation, first of all, when you get when we get to see how much of our suffering has been created by myself for myself just by going around everywhere with my mind a clenched fist, right? It's like and then realizing that actually just relaxing that closed fist of thought is it's not really that hard. And you know, I could have done it anytime. Zazen's good for think for figuring this out, but you know. Don't even really need to sit zaza. All you have to do is relax your open fist, your your clenched fist into an open hand. And uh, you know, I remember uh years ago hearing my teacher say something very similar to that, and I thought, no, that's not how it works at all. He has no idea. Maybe maybe Zazen is like that for him, but it's not me at all. And then a couple of years later, I went to see him and said, you know, it turns out you were right. It really is just that easy. I could have done it any time. Now my teacher just kind of nodded and smiled because he knew all along that he was right. Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest. This is the story of the original face, is a very famous one from uh the life of Fuenung, the sixth ancestor. So um last week or the week before, I talked about uh Bodhidharma, who was the first ancestor in China, came from India to establish the Zen school in uh China. And uh then his student was the second ancestor, and uh Wei Nung studied with the fifth ancestor, Hong Ren, and became the sixth ancestor. And uh the story of the original face is uh related in case 23 of the Gateless Barrier, it's a koan collection. Uh the person who collected those koans, uh, his Dharma name, he was uh Women, which means no gate. So he called his collection the No Gate Gate. So uh the story of uh the six ancestors that he was um you know uneducated and uh you know not from an influential family, from you know uh basically he was from a hick town in the middle of nowhere. So when he was inspired to take up monastic practice, nobody really respected him. And then through, you know, a series of uh poetry competition and another and a whole series of encounters with the abbot, the abbot uh was became very impressed with Weinang. And uh there was uh another student who everyone assumed would be the next abbot after the fifth ancestor. Um, and uh I think the fifth ancestor was pretty sure that would be how it went too, but then Weinang showed up, and the fifth ancestor said, I think actually I want to pass the Dharma on to you instead. You are you know my my number one heir. Uh so he had a secret meeting in the middle of the night. And uh actually to this day the the dharma transmission ceremony between students and teachers happens at night. And uh he they talked about the dharma, and then um the fifth ancestor gave Wei Nung the robe and bowl that he'd received from his teacher who received it from Bodhidharma. And apparently it became it was a relic of uh Weinong's monastery in China for many years until they lost it. So now you can't see it anymore. But uh he gave him the robe and bull of book from Bodhidharma, and then he said, uh, unfortunately, I don't think my other monks will understand, so uh you should probably just leave the monastery right now. So Hwai Nang took off in the middle of the night with his robe and bull. And uh the the monk who everyone assumed would receive the robe and bull, uh, when he found out about it, he actually was not very happy. He was pretty pissed off, really, and he went after Wei Nung. And uh so Wein Nang was you know strolling along the road with his robe and bull, and uh he he hears this other student, Wei Ming, thundering up behind him, and Wei Nung was like, uh-oh. So he put the robe and the bull on a flat rock in the pathway and and hid. He hid from from Hui Ming. Wei Ming came running up, he found the robe and bull that he was he wanted so badly, and looked around. Way Nung said, you know, well this this robe and bull uh are symbols of the Buddha Dharma. So it it wouldn't be right to do violence over them. Uh so if you want them, you can have them. Weming was like, ooh. He went to pick up the robe and bull, but they were way too heavy. He couldn't lift them, he couldn't even budge them the tiniest amount. And then he bowed to Wei Nang and said, Brother, really, I came for the Dharma and not for the robe and bull. Which, you know, I I think it would have taken me a bit longer. So, you know, I gotta give Wei Ming some some credit here. Actually, these these symbols that meant so much to me, uh what's more important is that you teach me, because you know, from this encounter I can see that you are a true teacher, and really what's important is that I learn rather than I receive these, you know, public symbols of status. And and also, you know, what really upset him wasn't it wasn't really the robe and bowl, it was, you know, what was this secret teaching that my teacher transmitted to only you? You know? Can I please can I have some of the secret teaching? And Wei Nong said, Oh, oh don't worry, it actually it it isn't secret at all. And can be very easily conveyed to you. And he said, Without thinking of good or evil, tell me right now what is your original face without thinking good or evil, show me your original face from before you were born. And Wei Ming broke out in a sweat all over. And then he had this this sudden shattering insight, just like Togen had upon hearing drop off body and mind. And he said, Oh, I understand. He said, I don't think I can put it into words, but I understand my original face. I'm completely clear on it, and I have no doubts. He said, It's just like if I drank a glass of water, I would know if it were cold or warm. Just like that. I have confidence that I've seen my original face. And of course, Dogen's uh experience and Wei Ming's experience were similar because you know their questions and worries were very similar. It may have phrased them differently, but you know, uh Leslie James, who was a uh lay teacher at Tasahara for years and years and years, um the monastery in uh uh Big Sur area where I studied, she said uh in all of her years of practice discussion and conversations with students, she's like basically everybody's practice question, uh their, you know, Genjo Koan, if you will, the koan of their everyday of their day-to-day lives. However they phrase it, basically the question that they need to have answered is Am I okay? And of course, yes, you are you're perfect, you're beautiful, you're beloved, you're Buddha. Which is why Dogen Zenji ends this particular section of Fukunza Zengi by saying, if you want to attain suchness, you should practice suchness without delay. Because you're okay, you're perfect and beautiful and beloved, and you're already Buddha. You already have everything you need. Because all that you really need to do is relax your clenched fist into an open hand, which you can do anytime without any preparation. Just with with the mind and body and life that you have right now. You don't need anything else. If you want to know what suchness is, turn the light around and investigate your own mind, and you'll find it there. I want to close with uh a quote from Dogen Zenji from uh a different essay he wrote. So Fukun Zhazengi was the first essay he ever wrote uh after returning from China, and uh the last essay he wrote was called uh Birth and Death, Shoji. And he ends his final essay by saying there is a simple way to become Buddha, refrain from unwholesome actions, do not try to cling to life and death, but with deep compassion work for all beings. Show respect to your seniors and kindness toward your juniors. When you neither deny things nor seek them, nor think and worry about them, then you will be called Buddha. Do not seek anything else. There is a simple way to be Buddha. Refrain from unwholesome actions. Do not try to cling to life and death, but with great compassion, work for all beings. Be respectful to your seniors and kind to your juniors. When you neither deny things nor think and worry about them, then you will be called the Buddha. Do not seek anything else. Thank you all very much for your kind attention. Been so lovely practicing with you all today. So we'll end with the after Dharma talk chat, which is also in the chat box and also on page two. May our intention equally extend to everybody.