WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.799 We've been in this series called United, and we've been looking at the importance of the family. 00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:13.919 The first week we talked about how the family is God's good design for the flourishing of all creation. 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:25.199 Then we looked at how healthy families start with healthy marriages, and we looked at how that is supposed to be this living parable and portrait of the gospel of Jesus, right? 00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:31.600 And today we're going to be looking at the relationship between parents and children. 00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:37.840 So I want to draw our attention as we start this with Psalm 127. 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:46.240 It declares this Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:50.960 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. 00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:54.479 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. 00:00:54.719 --> 00:01:00.079 He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:09.519 Something that I think we need a much more robust vision for and understanding of in the church is this. 00:01:33.439 --> 00:01:47.519 Now, this is often a very difficult truth to grasp or to cause any significant impact in our lives because we seem to work and toil and strive for everything that we have, right? 00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:51.519 And so there's this sense of I've earned this. 00:01:52.480 --> 00:02:02.719 We've poured our time, effort, and resources into building our careers, our homes, finances, health, marriages, and even raising our children. 00:02:02.799 --> 00:02:14.000 And so it's natural to feel a strong sense of personal ownership, as if these things are the result of our very own accomplishment. 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:28.800 The reality is that in the divine mystery of God's sovereignty and human responsibility, none of these things would exist without your effort. 00:02:29.919 --> 00:02:36.879 But even more so without God's gracious blessing to provide you a gift. 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:43.599 Because let me remind us if we've spent any time in the Word and we understand this principle, right? 00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:53.280 We can till the soil, we can plant the seed, we can water the land, but it is only God who is able to cause the growth. 00:02:53.840 --> 00:03:02.400 So everything that you have, though you've put human effort behind it, ultimately is a gift that's been given to you. 00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:14.159 Now, this principle of stewardship may come easier to us in different aspects of our lives, like our finances or our health, right? 00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:16.879 But but what about your children? 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:19.680 What about your children? 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:28.960 Stewarding the gift of our children, not as possessions, but as souls, to be nurtured toward God's glory. 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:33.039 What might change about your home life? 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:55.439 What might change about your career demands, your use of time, your engagement with your spouse, your very relationship with your children, if you sincerely began to see them through the lens of God's gracious gift to you, a gift that He has called you to faithfully steward. 00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:01.680 And I want us to keep this in mind as we go through this sermon this morning. 00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:12.960 Our call to faithful stewardship is ultimately to return God's gift to him as an offering of lavish worship. 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:27.839 When we look at the principle of stewardship within the scriptures, it's always to take what was given to us and return it back to our giver in an act of lavish worship. 00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:32.720 These aren't your kids, they're his. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:35.680 We're stewarding them. 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:41.680 And so that's the lens of which we need to approach this text this morning. 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:43.759 You guys ready to dive in? 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:44.959 Yeah? 00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:46.160 Alright, let's go. 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:47.680 Ephesians 6 1. 00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:50.800 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:51.199 Right? 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:54.879 This is probably the only text you're gonna be like, yes, preacher, preach. 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:59.360 Uh uh so so get your happiness in now. 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:02.240 Uh I do not have the gift of encouragement. 00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:05.759 Uh, if you know me at all, uh, you can say, yes, that is true. 00:05:05.920 --> 00:05:08.879 Uh here's here's what we need to pay attention to, though. 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:16.000 Uh, the reality that Paul actually addresses children directly in this section of the letter. 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:17.839 We can't just skip over that. 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:19.759 We have to see the importance of this. 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:24.399 The apostle directly speaks to children. 00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:31.439 Him doing this communicates that children are able to hear and to respond in obedience to God's word. 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:37.600 This should be an expectation because children are moral agents. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:40.879 They have the ability to obey. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:50.560 The early church fathers actually believed that this passage showed children's dignity and responsibility with inside of the church community. 00:05:50.720 --> 00:06:12.160 We have a vision here at Sacred Mission to see our children as a legacy of this church, that they would rise up and feel a part of this body, that they would use their gifts to serve, that they would be a benefit of their presence here among us so that as they grow old, they don't have to go looking for some other church where they can belong. 00:06:12.319 --> 00:06:14.560 They've never felt like they haven't here. 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:19.519 We want to see that culture take shape at this church. 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:23.040 Now, what does God require of children? 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:26.959 In a lot of ways, it's just the simplicity of obedience. 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:39.759 But this isn't blind obedience, nor is this an obedience that's rooted in the demands and desires of the parents in some type of isolation. 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:41.600 No, he qualifies it. 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:49.920 It's an obedience in the Lord, it's an obedience that's rooted in the very Lordship of Jesus Christ. 00:06:50.399 --> 00:07:01.759 You see, God's word calls children to whole-hearted obedience to their parents, unless that obedience would mean disobeying Him. 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:04.720 Because they're His children first. 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:12.160 So parental authority is real, but it is bounded, it is limited in its very essence. 00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:13.360 It is in the Lord. 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:20.480 That statement actually safeguards children from obeying any sense of ungodly instruction. 00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:22.800 It protects against abuse. 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:23.680 Right? 00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:30.800 If a parent commands sin, the child must obey God rather than their parents. 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:43.920 Yet, in its very essence, this notion of obedience, there's an inherent goodness that dwells within it. 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:48.079 We see this because Paul says, for this is right. 00:07:49.199 --> 00:08:04.319 You see, obedience is not arbitrary, but it's actually grounded in creation, it's grounded in natural law in the moral order that God has established. 00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:05.519 This is right. 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:09.360 Even unbelieving people can see this. 00:08:09.519 --> 00:08:15.199 When a child joyfully obeys a loving parent, we can see this as good. 00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:34.720 So because of that, it is good and right for parents to expect and lovingly discipline toward obedience because, for this is right, points to God's moral order instead of culturally shifting norms. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:37.679 So we want to see this. 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:39.360 This is going to be important for us. 00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:42.000 We have to see this as good. 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:49.440 Now, next, the apostle's instruction to children continues with verses two through three. 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:52.000 Honor your father and mother. 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:59.840 This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:08.320 He draws our attention here to the fifth commandment that is found in Exodus 20, verse 12. 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:17.440 It reads this way Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 00:09:17.759 --> 00:09:20.879 So honor your father and mother. 00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:34.000 It's to be respectful in word, in action, in having this inward attitude of esteem for their position and oversight in your life. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:38.720 To see them as a representative of authority. 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:42.480 The word honor means to make heavy. 00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:46.720 Communicating more than just some polite respect. 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:51.360 It actually implies that we give weight to the parents' authority. 00:09:51.919 --> 00:10:02.399 We give weight to their dignity because their presence reflects God's own delegated authority in our life. 00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:05.759 You see, ultimately, this is about a heart attitude. 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:14.080 Because it's a heart attitude of honor that fosters joyful obedience. 00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:22.799 When you honor and respect those above you, because you've been dealing with your own heart and ego, right? 00:10:23.279 --> 00:10:28.320 You're able to have a joyful obedience to their request. 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:41.120 Throughout the New Testament, we're shown actually that dishonor and disobedience are equated with ungodliness, and it's actually a sign of the last days, the apostles put forward. 00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:49.039 We see in Romans 1, 29 through 32, they were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. 00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:53.200 They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. 00:10:53.279 --> 00:11:11.519 They are gossip, slanders, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless, though they know God's righteous decree, that those who practice such things deserve to die. 00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:16.159 They not only do them, but they give approval to those who practice them. 00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:20.320 Now, in that list, I would not have put disobeying parents in there, right? 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:21.840 I wouldn't have been like, oh, that's a natural fit. 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:22.799 Murders, yeah. 00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:23.600 Here we go. 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:25.039 They deserve to die. 00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:28.879 I've thought that about my children. 00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:29.840 No, I'm joking. 00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:32.799 Um but but that's not the only place we see this, right? 00:11:32.879 --> 00:11:35.840 2 Timothy Paul addresses this once again. 00:11:36.080 --> 00:12:06.080 But understand this that in the last days there will come times of difficulty, for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, avoid such people. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:12.320 Now, this isn't just a New Testament issue, though, right? 00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:19.679 This has been a reality of God's revelation for his people ever since he gave them the law. 00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:39.840 In Leviticus 20 and Deuteronomy 21, God prescribes the ultimate penalty, death, for those who curse their parents or for the stubborn and rebellious son who rejects obedience, resists correction, and refuses to change. 00:12:40.639 --> 00:12:42.399 This isn't a light matter. 00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:42.799 Right? 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:52.559 When we understand Old Testament law, right, we we we we try to understand it through the degree of its penalty, right? 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:56.879 Wearing mixed fabrics doesn't get you stoned. 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:01.200 But murdering your brother does. 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:15.600 And because the penalty is death, what that tells us and communicates us is that there's this weightiness in God's kingdom for people who behave and act in such ways. 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:30.159 Because ultimately it's not about what we do, it is how these actions are an offense to the very nature and glory of God Himself, of who we are to represent. 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:39.679 You see, the heaviness of this offense should cause us to be sobered by the weightiness of its consequences. 00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:46.559 Yet we see a promise of life here connected to a child who strives to obey and honor their parents. 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:53.360 Verse 2 continues this is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. 00:13:53.600 --> 00:14:03.759 Now, the promise is not that God's hand will preserve you from all suffering or calamity, but it is a promise of flourishing. 00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:10.159 Because hear this flourishing comes through uncomfortable means at times. 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:27.519 And so for your ultimate good to be known and obtained through your relationship with the Lord, it's not going to come through comfort all the time. 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:29.759 But you will flourish. 00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:42.960 Flourishing into the ultimate good that God desires for you as you submit in obedience to your parents and ultimately you submit in obedience to his lordship. 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:47.440 You see, flourishing is the fruit of an obedient and honoring life. 00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:57.120 When we live in a heart posture of honor toward God and we submit ourselves in obedience to him, that's where our flourishing is found. 00:14:57.440 --> 00:15:01.759 Too many in the modern church they want God's blessing, but they don't want to obey him. 00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:07.679 They want their next breakthrough, their next miracle, their next outpouring, their next whatever, right? 00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:10.639 They want that, but Lord, don't ask anything of me. 00:15:10.879 --> 00:15:18.000 Don't ask me to be conformed into the image of your son through pressure and uncomfortableness and suffering. 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:19.840 Don't ask that of me. 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:23.679 But if you could bless me, that'd be great. 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:25.759 Ephesians 6, 4. 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:27.600 Dads, you're up. 00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:34.639 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:36.639 Fathers. 00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:53.600 Now, while this term fathers can encompass both parents, I believe that it remains distinct in our translations because of the profound and irreplaceable role that a father's presence plays in a child's life. 00:15:54.159 --> 00:16:02.559 We had our uh Elder Discovery cohort meeting yesterday morning, and we did this kind of spiritual formation exercise. 00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:10.559 And I said, I want the men to close your eyes and I want you to imagine God thinking about you. 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:17.039 And then I want you to tell me what do you think God feels when he thinks about you? 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:29.039 And let me tell you, it was uh disapproval, sadness, disappointment. 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:36.960 And I asked them, where do you think those emotions that you think God is feeling when he thinks about you are coming from? 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:41.840 And almost every single one of them said, It's my father. 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:54.000 We're going to project our own relationship with our fathers onto our heavenly father. 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:59.600 And it's going to temper the way that we think he thinks and feels about us. 00:17:01.120 --> 00:17:03.120 We play such a significant impact. 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.920 Men, let me grab your attention. 00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:15.839 Your child's view of God is coming from the way that you have a relationship with them. 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:19.599 That's weighty. 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:32.640 You see, Paul addresses the head of the home because it is the authority of headship that ought to be used for the flourishing of the child. 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:34.880 We talked about this last week. 00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:45.759 We talked about how men have an inherent responsibility to wield their authority for the ultimate good of those under their headship. 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:57.039 In this epistle, all of this letter to the church at Ephesus is laced with the language of Father in reference to our relationship with God. 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:09.839 And it ultimately illuminates for us the ways in which God sacrificed his own good for ours in Jesus. 00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:13.759 Here's what Ephesians helps us understand. 00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:28.000 You are children of God, and you are able to call him father because he himself sacrificed his own good in the suffering and crushing of his son to make you his children. 00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:32.799 Now, fathers, love your children. 00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:39.039 You see, this calls fathers to echo this same intent. 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:44.400 That we would sacrifice our own good for the very good of our children. 00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:54.319 And so Paul begins his instructions to fathers actually with this negative admonishment: do not provoke your children to anger. 00:18:56.079 --> 00:19:01.440 The NIV, the New International Version, uses the word exasperate. 00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:13.920 And most commonly, this word exasperate is used within Scripture to communicate God's own just anger with the idolatry of Israel. 00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:16.799 So let me help you make this connection. 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:21.359 This word, do not provoke them to anger, do not exasperate your children. 00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:33.519 It means so much more than to just not make them angry or anxious through your stern discipline, your overbearing rules or heavy-handedness. 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:41.680 No, it means to not provoke righteous resentment within them for the way that you live your life. 00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:50.480 To be provoked by the hypocrisy of what you say, having this dissonance with what you do. 00:19:52.400 --> 00:20:00.160 Remember, our calling is to give our children back to the Lord as an act of worship. 00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:10.400 And I would submit to you that few things hinder that endeavor more than a deep divide between a father's words and the way that he lives. 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:24.400 Now, Paul balances his admonishment with a positive encouragement, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:29.759 Paul gives a better and healthier way to parent their children. 00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:36.880 This word bring, it's actually the exact same word that we just studied last week in Ephesians 5.29. 00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:39.279 It's the word for nourish. 00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:40.000 Right? 00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:44.880 This word nourish, it means to develop, to nurture, to exalt. 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:51.680 It demands an immense amount of intentionality, care, and attention to the child. 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:59.519 Again, like the call to husbands, the father's call to his children is deep work. 00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:05.039 Loving our wives and children at the expense of our own good. 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:16.400 That's the deep work that we are called to over our own comfort, over our own sense of safety, over our own sense of pleasure, over our own sense of anything else. 00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:22.720 It is our number one endeavor to work for the good of our family. 00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:34.880 Because it's the work of cultivation, it's the work of cultivation directed in the aim of their own personal flourishing. 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:44.160 How does your presence, how does your work in the home cause your family to flourish? 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:47.440 Discipline, he says. 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.519 Now, this is actually in the positive. 00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:56.160 We would think the word discipline would have a negative connotation to it, but no, this is actually framed in the positive. 00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.440 It's to educate, to train, and to instruct. 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:08.400 This focuses on the father's role to be the functional shepherd pastors in their homes. 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:17.039 To lead the family in worship, in the reading of the scriptures, in prayer, and in everyday gospel conversations. 00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:27.359 In homily 21 on Ephesians, the early church father Chrysostom defines discipline as formation in habits. 00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:35.119 It's these intentional, regular rhythms of spiritual formation within the home. 00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:38.960 You see, your life is a living liturgy. 00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:43.759 You have habits and rhythms that you function in that's shaping you. 00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:50.640 And more importantly, your home is structured by habits and rhythms that is shaping your family. 00:22:50.799 --> 00:22:54.559 Have you thought through the liturgy you are living out? 00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:00.480 How are you being shaped through the habits of your home? 00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:08.559 He goes on, instruction. 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:12.160 Now this actually has a negative connotation to it. 00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:21.359 You see, fathers, we're to warn away from, admonish, and restrain that which is inconsistent with godliness. 00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:28.079 A father's love for his children is one of godly balance. 00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:42.160 It provides both a loving affirmation of what is good and what is right, and it provides a loving admonishment to what is ungodly and wicked. 00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:52.000 Yet both of these discipline and instruction are of the Lord. 00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:55.039 Here's what this means. 00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:08.000 They're aligned in harmony with his revealed truth that leads to a conformity of his righteousness in the image of Jesus. 00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:11.200 Of the Lord. 00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:16.319 It's not what you determine is right and wrong or good and evil. 00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:23.119 It is not how you determine or desire for your children to grow up. 00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:27.119 They are of the Lord. 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:29.680 It's not built on us. 00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:32.240 It's not built on our truth. 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:39.519 Because when we do that, when we parent that way, it only shapes our children into the image of self. 00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:56.559 Think about this, fathers, mothers in this room, think about the ways your efforts have ultimately been to shape your children into the image of self rather than to the image of Christ. 00:24:58.319 --> 00:25:01.680 In your anger, in your harshness. 00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:16.960 You see, when we do that, ultimately what we provide our children is not a savior, but an idol that can never truly give hope. 00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:22.319 So to contend against this, what do we do? 00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:31.039 The gospel must be the content, the method, and the aim of parenting. 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:44.160 It's a clear teaching of the Scripture's revealed will for our lives that calls us to live out of Christ's done rather than our own due. 00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:50.079 This is the rest that you want to give to your children. 00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:56.880 This is the pure water that you call them to drink from. 00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:12.240 It's when you show them that they are able to live a life out of Christ's done rather than having to continually strive in their own doing just to make you proud and happy. 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:17.599 So here's what I want us to see. 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:23.359 A gospel-centered home shapes the family into the image of Jesus. 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:29.279 A gospel-centered home shapes the family into the image of Jesus. 00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:35.039 This is the end that all of us should be laboring toward. 00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:48.400 When the home is established as a little church and the father is rightly functioning as a shepherd pastor, the fruit of his work is a God-glorifying home. 00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:54.559 A home that is shaped and formed by rhythms and habits of spiritual formation. 00:26:54.799 --> 00:27:08.960 Fathers must take the responsibility to see that the scriptures are read and honored in their home, that family worships together, both in the church and in the living room. 00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:15.519 That they pray together, that they discipline their children in the beauty and life of the gospel. 00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:21.680 Every measure of discipline should have the aim of conformity to Jesus. 00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:24.160 And only the gospel can provide that. 00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:28.799 Only the gospel can provide the critiques that your children need. 00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:33.119 Only the gospel can provide the instruction and discipline of which they need. 00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:38.000 Only the gospel can provide them hope in the midst of their rebellion. 00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:49.119 Not one that simply modifies behavior, but one that addresses their very heart. 00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:55.119 You see, ultimately, there's a call for fathers to reflect God's own fatherhood. 00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:09.039 Never crushing the spirit, always shaping the soul in this patient, purposeful, Christ-centered stewardship. 00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:17.440 The promise of the prophet Isaiah for the Christ who would come is a bruised reed he will not break. 00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:27.839 What that speaks to is the patience and tenderness that he would have with a rebellious and hard-hearted people. 00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:35.440 When the gospel is at the center, the family is conformed to Christ. 00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:45.119 But when the gospel is displaced or altogether absent, the family is deformed by sin and by the world. 00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:49.920 You see, for many of us, our lives and homes aren't grounded in the gospel. 00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:56.079 And because of that, our discipline or lack of it isn't either. 00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:05.599 And when discipline is divorced from the gospel, our children will be conformed to something or someone else other than Jesus. 00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:11.039 For some of us, we create a home where our children are shaped into the image of the world. 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:14.720 I would say that this is a home absent of discipline. 00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:21.200 This is a home where a parent does not do what is good and right in the life of a child. 00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:36.720 A home that is absent of a father's discipline and instruction, namely, I would submit his loving presence is a home where his children are being shaped by the culture more than the gospel of Christ. 00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:40.559 Fathers, are you present at home? 00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:45.839 Are you as present at home as you are when you're on the job? 00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:48.240 Are you listening? 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:49.759 Are you tending? 00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:51.119 Are you caring? 00:29:51.359 --> 00:29:52.640 Are you nurturing? 00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:54.240 Are you cherishing? 00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:59.279 Are you doing deep work when you cross the threshold of your front door? 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:04.640 Are you emotionally and mentally present to your wife and to your children? 00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:05.839 Are you there? 00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:08.160 Are you distracted? 00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:09.839 Are you doom-scrolling? 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:13.920 Are you just wanting everyone to leave you alone so you can just relax? 00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:19.920 You see, we're always being discipled. 00:30:20.079 --> 00:30:22.799 This is a natural reality of our existence. 00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:27.359 You cannot escape being discipled. 00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:32.480 The question is, who or what are you being discipled by? 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:45.119 And when our homes fail to have the presence of loving discipline, they are discipled, formed, and shaped by the world's discipline and training. 00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:48.079 It's the culture that's nourishing them. 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:50.640 It's YouTube and social media. 00:30:50.799 --> 00:30:56.720 It is the television that you stick them in front of so that they just leave you alone for 30 minutes. 00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:02.480 It's their friends down the street that you're so thankful they get out of your hair and go play with. 00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:09.759 But their family doesn't love God or trust in Jesus, and you don't know what's being talked about in those circles. 00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:17.440 It's the way that we abdicate and hand over our children for others to discipline. 00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:22.400 Because again, discipline is framed in the positive. 00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:30.319 You see, it's the culture that's nourishing them in their own training and understanding of what is good and right. 00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:34.799 Instructing them to live in a way that is contrary to the very word of God. 00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:47.759 Being disciplined to love the very things that God calls us to despise and to despise the very things that God calls us to love. 00:31:49.119 --> 00:32:01.519 We have to see that it is loving to discipline our children, and it is unloving to cast off our responsibility and allow them to be discipled by the world. 00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:06.079 Discipline is how we know we have a father who truly loves us. 00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:06.720 Right? 00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:11.200 This is something that some of us in this room need to get our mind wrapped around. 00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:18.160 Discipline is the way that we know we are loved by our Heavenly Father. 00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:28.799 And so I would submit to you that godly discipline is the way your very children will know that you love them. 00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:37.680 Verse 7 and 8 of Hebrews chapter 12 says this it is for discipline that you have to endure. 00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:39.920 God is treating you as sons. 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:44.000 For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:51.680 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are a bastard child. 00:32:51.839 --> 00:32:53.200 That's what that means. 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:54.880 And not sons. 00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:59.119 You have no father if you experience no discipline. 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:03.759 How do we know God truly loves us? 00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:06.559 How do we know God works for our ultimate good? 00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:10.319 We experience his discipline. 00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:16.640 You see, there is no existence in this life without conformity to something or to someone. 00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:25.920 In a home that is absent of a father's discipline and instruction is certain to raise children who are conformed to the world rather than Jesus. 00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:31.279 But others of us, we create a home where our children are shaped into the image of us. 00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:35.920 We create a home where our children are shaped into the image of us. 00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:47.839 In some of our homes, the father's discipline and instruction is present, but it's present to avoid shame and embarrassment. 00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:56.640 It's present to raise a family that we can have our own sense of prideful self-accomplishment in. 00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:03.839 Have you ever wondered what makes the father's heart so quick to anger in a child's disobedience? 00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:08.159 It's because they're embarrassing him. 00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:14.639 It's because their behavior is shameful upon his reputation. 00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.639 It's because he's got an ego. 00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:27.199 In his discipline, anger takes the lead where love should. 00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:34.960 As I mentioned before, there's actually a pastoral patience that needs to be present in our parenting. 00:34:36.079 --> 00:34:38.800 We should never do anything in a fit of anger. 00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:44.800 Instead, we should aim to correct our children in gentleness and self-control. 00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:49.440 Fathers, I as I've said all the time, I'm preaching to myself up here. 00:34:51.199 --> 00:35:07.360 The amount of times I have disciplined my child in the midst of my own anger was always rooted in my own sense of shame and pride and embarrassment. 00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:24.079 But when I let my anger dissipate and I came back to my child to discipline them in godly instruction, it was always followed with reconciliation to one another. 00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:37.280 And yes, I can spank my son and then I can turn him around and I can hold him close and tell him how much I love him and how much of a joy he is to my life. 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:44.239 But when my mind and heart are enraged by my anger, he only knows punishment. 00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:46.159 He does not know discipline. 00:35:52.000 --> 00:36:11.119 When we don't separate discipline from our children's welfare, when we see it primarily as a concern about our own reputation and authority, we allow selfishness to motivate our parenting. 00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:12.320 St. 00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:17.280 Augustine of Hippo said this about this passage specifically. 00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:24.880 He said, Fathers must not provoke their children to anger lest they be discouraged. 00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:32.000 Rather, they should be nursed up in discipline, not as slaves of men, but as sons of God. 00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:43.519 You see, a discipline that flows from anger is an insecure father's attempt to cover his own shame. 00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:51.519 You see, anger is often our attempt to mask fear, shame, inadequacy. 00:36:53.039 --> 00:36:58.079 But the real problem in this is that our anger never produces fruitfulness. 00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:05.920 James 120 says this that it is for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:19.039 You see, men, we're always called to use our headship and authority for the good and flourishing of those under it rather than to cover our own sense of shame. 00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:30.800 Gospel-centered parenting requires us to respect the dignity of our children as image-bearers, to use our authority selflessly and to affirm their worth. 00:37:31.679 --> 00:37:41.760 But if we're honest, much of our discipline is driven not by a desire to form Christ in our children, but by fear of how their behavior reflects on us. 00:37:42.079 --> 00:37:46.320 And so instead of aiming for their holiness, we aim for our own reputation. 00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:54.239 Here's the reality: neither of these homes function to their purposed end. 00:37:55.039 --> 00:38:02.800 One without discipline and abandoned to the world, and one with discipline motivated by selfishness. 00:38:03.039 --> 00:38:08.320 They both exhibit homes centered on something other than the gospel. 00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:15.519 And so if we do not have a grip on grace, we will not have the courage to discipline. 00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:24.079 But if grace has no grip on us, there will be no constraint to our discipline. 00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:28.960 And so our hope is this, church. 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:37.840 Jesus suffered under the anger of the Father's punishment to make us children of discipline. 00:38:40.239 --> 00:38:45.679 Jesus suffered under the anger of the Father's punishment to make us children of discipline. 00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:57.039 In love, Jesus became the Son who bore our punishment so that we could become sons and daughters who received the Father's loving discipline. 00:38:58.079 --> 00:38:59.519 There's a difference. 00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:06.320 Children are disciplined. 00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.320 Punishment is fueled by anger and wrath. 00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:13.280 Discipline flows from a holy love. 00:39:14.639 --> 00:39:23.760 At the cross, Christ took the punishment of our sin once and for all, so that we might know the Father's ongoing, loving discipline as his sons and daughters. 00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:28.480 In this discipline, church, it's not rejection, it's proof of belonging. 00:39:29.840 --> 00:39:33.519 As Hebrew tells us, the Lord disciplines the ones that he loves. 00:39:33.599 --> 00:39:34.559 We read this passage. 00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:38.880 Discipline is God's way of shaping us into the likeness of his son. 00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:53.360 Paul says in Romans 8.29, for those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:57.119 In Christ, we were foreknown as sons and daughters. 00:39:57.280 --> 00:40:01.920 And in Christ, we are being lovingly conformed to his image. 00:40:02.559 --> 00:40:09.599 So we don't stand here as objects of God's punishment, but as children who receive his discipline. 00:40:11.679 --> 00:40:22.159 In every moment of his discipline, however hard, however uncomfortable, it's a reminder to us. 00:40:23.440 --> 00:40:25.679 It's a reminder that we belong to him. 00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:29.119 That we're loved by him. 00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:32.800 That we're being made like Jesus. 00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:45.920 And so because Jesus took our punishment, the Father's discipline is no longer a sign of his anger, church, but it is the sweetest proof that we are his beloved children. 00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:52.079 So my hope for us is that we would create a home centered on the gospel. 00:40:53.440 --> 00:40:55.039 This is hard. 00:40:56.400 --> 00:41:00.559 Like, man, if you didn't already have enough on your shoulders when you walked in here. 00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:04.400 But there's a promise of our Savior. 00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:10.159 All of you who are weary and heavy laden, come to me and I will give you rest. 00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:21.440 One of the best things I can tell you this morning is stop trying to work out of your own do and try to work from Christ's done. 00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:26.480 At the end of the day, you're not your children's hope. 00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:27.840 He is. 00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:29.920 And he must be. 00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:38.960 Remember, faithful stewardship is ultimately to return God's gift to him as an offering of lavish worship. 00:41:40.559 --> 00:41:42.320 How are we doing with that? 00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:54.079 I hope this morning that you see this beautiful gift that has been given to you. 00:41:55.679 --> 00:42:07.199 And my hope that your love for God and a desire for his glory to fill this earth encourages you to give that gift back to him.