In The Clique Podcast
Pull up a seat and join the clique. Every week, Seagal and Dec sit down for unfiltered conversations about [your main topics, e.g. pop culture, football, life, the week's biggest stories], with plenty of banter, hot takes and tangents along the way.
Expect honest opinions, [special guests / listener questions / debates], and the kind of chat you'd have with your mates if someone happened to press record. No scripts, no filter, just two friends and a lot to say.
Join the funniest guys online. Make sure you get the kettle on!
In The Clique Podcast
EP 41 | WORST FIRST DATE
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EP 41 | WORST FIRST DATE. Grab a cushion and prepare to cringe! This week, Seagal and Dec are holding nothing back as they dive headfirst into the terrifying, awkward, and utterly unforgettable world of Worst First Dates. Featuring our Guest Emma from Girls who overshare podcast.
The lads spill the tea on their own truly disastrous romantic outings, from a date that ended in a tragic ways. They also read out the most toe-curling, jaw-dropping submissions sent in by listeners.
- Are you gonna finish that?
- I think you have something in your teeth!!!!!
- Should we wrap this up?
Tune in for an hour of uncontrollable laughter, relatable horror stories, and the comforting realisation that you are definitely not alone in your dating misadventures. If you've ever paid for a date with loose change or wished for a sudden, dramatic emergency exit, this episode is for you!
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Out eaten. You two get both get food, yeah, and she will eat your leftovers, bro. What? Oh, get out eaten. Out eaten. What was she? Well, we well, you meant went to a bucket or something. No, bro. I we both both went to a restaurant, yeah. We got food, and I had food left on my plate. She was like, bro. She was like, like, hey, hey, do you know like um uh white chicks? Perhaps a salad for the lady, perhaps not, yeah, welcome back to in the click, guys. Thank you for tuning in this week. That's right. Do you know what I mean? Guys, Declan's a little bit low today. Um, you've been struck in traffic all day, traffic. Okay, I feel bad for you. So you might realize my energy's gonna be up here. I'm gonna try and bring Declan up, but yeah, we're working on time. Okay, today's gonna be a great episode for you guys, episode 41. Yeah, bro. Even behind the scenes, Declan be telling me, stop saying what episode we're on every single episode. Like they don't know, it's in the title, it is what it is, but um guys, first things first, um, hit that subscribe button, hit that bell notification. Um, if you like the video, like the video. Trust me. And if you're listening on Audible, we would love for you to hit that follow button just because we want to grow the audience. Trust me. And guess what, bro? God, the click is growing. It's growing. Yeah, so if you're not in it, jump in. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, come on, man, be involved. There's no point in just being out there in the abyss. Bro, there's so many people that's that's watching, but you're not subscribed. So subscribe because I know you like this shit. Hey, and I must cut you up there. I know, bro. I get carried away. I get carried away sometimes. You might see if you're a regular, you will know it. Trust me. Sorry, Declan. No, you're good, bro. Okay, like I was saying, what the fuck was I gonna get at, bro? I just got excited. Weekly catch-up. Yeah, weekly catch up. Yeah, tell me about your week, bro. Yeah, fucking hell. Oh wait, let me tell you something right now, yeah. Hey, Declan. Bro, bring it in. Bring it in. Let me tell you right now, isn't it? Let me tell you right now. I'm gonna read this shit real right quick, okay? Wait, it's gonna take me a minute. Yeah, bro. Okay, so guys, we got a gift from somebody really special. Um on the butt. She's been here for the whole journey, basically. Whole journey, bro, since the beginning. Amazing amber, innit? Yeah, bro. Amazing amber. So she wrote a card to us, which um we received today. Yeah, and I thought it was a beautiful gift. So um this says, Um, dear Declan and Sigal, I'm so proud of you both. Watching you build in the clique has been incredible. All the planning, the late nights, hard work is paying off. As a little treat to say, uh, well done, I've got you both tickets to shits and gigs, daddy's home tour on February the 12th of June, 2026. Keep smashing it, rooting for you both, always amber. Can you believe, bro, we're gonna go and see shits and gigs? Yo, listen, it's good that we're going to see it at some point, yeah. Yeah, that's competition. Yeah, bro. Listen, what an amazing gift. Thank you so much, Amber. Thank you so much, Amber. Do you know what we're gonna do as well? We're gonna stick this right there. Although that I've got this, I've got a drink right there. This is mine, and this is this is the mixer. Yeah, Deckman already sort of them stuff. Yeah, I had to, didn't even choose to help me out. This is I had a day. I'm telling you. Deccan was that to me when he was on the road, Jet. It was that cigar. I need a drink so bad. So I was there, like, so yeah, Amber, we're gonna keep this here. Yeah, shout out to you. Thank you so much, my dear. Um, sorry, bro. Nah, I'm that again. Thank you so much, my girl. I love you. Shout out to you. Oh, 100%. That was beautiful, man. But yeah, Amber, this means so much to us. Amber is being seen out and being recognized, but we just keep going and we never give up. But yeah, I think that's that that is such a highlight of the fucking week, man. Yeah, but we can't, nothing could be topped that. Let's be real, let's be real. Nothing can top that. Yeah, thanks. Oh man, that is that's amazing. Amber, we love you, and thank you for supporting us. And yeah, let's let's get on with the show, Declan. Just get into it. So, first dates dilemmas. Our episode today is gonna be revolved around the worst first date you've ever had. This is this kind of topic can go on forever. Do you know what I mean? It really can, and I know it's affected every single person on the planet. Everybody's been on a date at some point. There's two factors that always come out of a first date. It's either it was a good date, or that was a fucking creep, I never want to see them again. A creep. And you know what? Yeah, 96.2%. Yeah, the guy's the creep. He's the creep. It's so peak, man. When we had this idea of starting this um particular episode, and you was there, like, yeah, first worst days, should we just try that? Was they like, okay, cool. Yeah, it made me think with all the dates that I've been on, have I ever left the date and they're like in their girls' group chat or just thought in their head, what a fucking creep. I never want to see him again. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely weird though. Like, but I don't do anything out of the ordinary, like, in a way, you kind of have to test the waters and find out what uh what the other person likes. Some people overshare on a first date, so you might find out what they're really into, but not always, yeah. I feel like sometimes, especially guys, no, I think girls will hold back on the first date and then like ease it in. Do you know what I mean? Where guys will just bro, I'm weird and it is. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because at the end of the day, oh bro, funny enough, I I bumped into this friend. Do you remember um that culture festival? Yeah, yeah. Oh, he bumped into this friend that I had um that pre- pre uh sound like feather pig fan. Yeah, but but um, yeah, a friend that I previously worked with, yeah, and me and him were just chopping it up, and then he he mentioned to me yeah that he was going on a date with a girl, and he went on the date, he it was pretty good, but what he said to me was yeah, he was there like it was quite strange because she just sat there and was at to me, okay. Go on, entertain me. And I was like, yo, rah, what am I supposed to do? Juggle, like jump on a unicycle or some shit. You didn't even pay ticket fee. Come on, bro. Do you know what I mean? You better. Hey, that's that's not what we're here for. That's not what we were born for. Do you know what I mean? Entertaining declining. Bro, are we trying to bring Clay back? Because that's crazy. No, but you have to deep as well, the roster. She's thinking, like, nah, this guy here, he's up. He might be blind, but he's up, so that makes up for it. Yeah, yeah. But they're not on his level, but you're good looking. So you've got uh, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You've got to fix on these areas right here, yeah. Cause she'd be thinking, I got bad boy Dante, and then I got a rich boy Paul. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Paul can be bland and be there, like, I don't really fuck with that. Yeah. Like, just hurry up. Not be, he's not chivorous at all. He's just up. Yeah, he's just up. Do you know what I mean? He doesn't need chivalry, bro. He doesn't need yeah, she's she's vexed. Let me just take you out. Okay, okay. You know, girls, bro. I just put you in Chanel. Do you know what I mean? Facts. I'll put you in Chanel and just yeah, leave me alone. What's the worst first date you've ever been on? You got it, bro. I've got it in the end, man. So the worst first date I've ever been on, right? Yeah, bro. Have you ever been out eaten on a date? Out eating? Yeah. Eating isn't eating. No, out-eaten. You two get both get food, yeah, and she will eat your leftovers, bro. What get out eaten? Out-eaten. What was she when we well you meant went to a bucket or something? No, bro. I we both both went to a restaurant, yeah. We got food, and I had food left on my plate. She was like, bro. She was like, like, hey, hey, do you know like um uh white chicks? Perhaps a salad for the lady, perhaps that it was exactly that. That's exactly where it is. Ah bro, I felt weird about it. I'm not like never fat shame, do you get me? But uh like leave what's on my plate, on my plate. I'm just having a little appetizer. I'm not trying to get like stuff for the whole afternoon. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, ah man, it was it went a look, bro. You're paying, you're paying. Yeah, let me get so a hundred bro. Think about it. Yeah, that guy's saying he's paying. I'm already hey, T Bone steak, bro. What are you talking about? Yeah, but imagine finishing her finishing her plate, yeah, and then eating yours, then finishing what's left on my plate. Come on, bro. Hey, don't man, that's sad. Yeah, it was sad, bro. I'll be real. Like hey, come on, man. It was it was deep, bro. That's what she was thinking. This is this is good. It bro, it was really like white chicks. I mean, real I'll be real. She called for the chef. You know the ones. Yeah, that was outstanding. I'm sitting I'm sitting here, yeah, and I'm like, that was animalistic. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Hey, bro. Tell me about yours, bro. I know you got I know you got one or at least two. I got a lot, man, but I just thought I'd narrate it down just to one because I know one each. I can't be oversharing. Yeah, talking about people oversharing, and then I'm do you know what I mean? Let me talk my shit, okay? So I went on a date one shit, and this shit was crazy because do you know um sit-down dinners? I think are the the worst date ideas, and worst date ideas, but um, yeah, I went on a date with this one shortly years ago. I think I was like what 18 maybe? Between 18, I'll give you an age range between 18 and 19. Yeah, and yeah, we was getting along quite well and whatever, right? And do you know when um girls are constantly self-aware? Yeah, like when they're eating and that, they they keep checking like how do I look, how do I look? Yeah, I like that sometimes, doesn't it? Okay, this girl has spinach on her tooth the whole time, bro. Do you know what it is? I was staring at it like oh man, yeah, that's looking like one herb of all of him. And it was like, nah, you can see it move like ever so often. I was just staring at it, and I wanted to be there, like, oi, you do you know what it is? And I even told her at a period of day, like, oi, it's you've got sighting here. She was like, Oh, sorry, so and so, yeah, try to eat a spinach, it ran back, bro. She ran it back, bro. She ran it back, and do you know what it draws your attention, whether you want it to or not, it draws the attention, doesn't it? Like, yeah, she's just talking, and the more she was talking, the less attractive she became. Yeah, I that's peak. I'll be real, that's peak because and I don't be telling her every single five minutes, oh you've got um I done told you, bro. Move it, I done told you, bro. Get it away. It's moving location, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, listen, yeah. That's that's buttons, bro. Bro, it was yeah, it went it, man. But that's why I love going on a date with a girl that's um pop a done up, and then she's there. Like, I'm not saying you have to be fully done up, like dressing all of that. No, it's his he is. I like that, you know what I mean? Oh, that's what I'm paying for, man. That's what I like. Do you know what I mean? I like that I was capping, bro. That's my shit, man. I like that, man. I wouldn't as soon as soon as we get that first hug and kiss, I wouldn't be like, Yeah, she smells good, man. Do you know what I mean? That's D D. She smells good, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I have a woman that looks good and smells good. That's my shit, bro. Why can't I have that? Right, bro. Women want rich men, they want uh they want a guy who's financial state, they want I don't know what they want, but there's a list. There's a list, there's a list is not it's larger than mine. I want little things that need to be done up and smell nice. That's that's it, man. That's what I mean, and have a sense of humor. That's what I like, man. Damn, why is it so hard, bro? This was like a therapy session, man. You see that little trigger, guys? Just a little trigger, man. That's what you need. Yeah, that's what you need, bro. Yeah, man. Fuck. But yeah, it was yeah, man, it's not the best of dates. I have had better, yeah, but it is it is the way it is, man. Bro, we all go for it. Uh hope, girls, you didn't think that was too extreme. Um I'm off the streets at the minute, so yeah, at the minute, nah. I want to be off the streets permanently, man. I'm trying to settle down, bro. Do you know what I mean? Guys, let us know your worst birth dates for sure. At the minute, fam. Sorry. Like Declan said before I cut him out, go on Deckwin. Hey, let us know your worst birth dates because I know you all got them, man. We you got funnier stories than us, that's for sure. No, they don't, fam. Be generous, they got stories that we have stories that I hate you. You know what I mean? We've got stories up in here, man. That's why you're watching. Because we got stories, yes, okay. Um Declan. Before we proceed, okay? Yeah, you know it's your time this week, bro. So get in the pot, fam. Stick your fingers in them jars. Of course. Jesus Christ. Hey, you better stick them fingers in them jars, man. I'm nervous to this week, man. Shit. Hey, this one looks it looks packed. That one is packed. Yeah. Oh shit. Yo, I need to talk about the whole joint. Uh my sister's hard work, you've been a fucking smash, fam. What if your thoughts were displayed above your head? How long before you got in trouble? I'm telling you right now, bro, I'd be in trouble the minute. The very first thought. Because I'd be real. I'm a judgmental motherfucker, bro. I might look at you be like, Dusty, do you know what I mean? I look at the next person be like, hey, short king, you ain't it. Look at the next person, be like, hey, that darling, that dress there. Yo, listen, I don't know. I I'd be in trouble the very first second, I'll be honest, bro. I'm a people watcher, do you know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. Ah man, and I make up stories sometimes. We've said this before. I look at somebody and I make up stories about their life. Yeah, I'd be in trouble in seconds, I promise you, bro. Handcuffs, bro. Instantly. I promise you would have to. I like to report crime. Do you know them ones? Yeah, yeah. It's like Declan. Hey, I'ma call you, bro. I'm gonna call you. I'ma call you, bro. Nah, that would be sad, man. And do you know what it is as well? Yeah, like imagine I'd go to the gym, yeah, and you'd see like one don't on a punch bag, yeah? I promise you I'd be knocked out in the first 30 minutes of going to the gym. Yeah, because I'd be doing my thing, and then I see all I hear is I'd be like, look at this motherfucker, like I couldn't take him. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, thanks. And you'd read that shit, you'd be like, ah, swear. Come down, fam. Get off the treadmill. Calm down, bro. Calm down, calm down. You'll be like, uh, he thinks he's nice, bro. Like I can have him. What's speaking about? Two twos, bro. I'm like, hey, where am I? Hey, this this is uh nap, trust me. This is first eight. This is where you're at, bro. Yeah, but I like that one. What about you, bro? Share, share something with us, man. Because that was last week, man. Did you nah? Fuck all of that, bro. I'll be real. Nah, bro. It goes you then me. It goes you then me. I'm not answering this week. You weren't you're last week. Yeah, yeah. I know I'd be bagged anyway, bro. Yeah, I'll make it. I'm not making it a day. I promise you, a couple of hours. Someone's already reporting it to the police. Yeah, I hear you, bro. Thinking something crazy, bro. Yeah, I like that one, bro. Shout out to Fay for that. And nest that right now, bro. See, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are them uh them workshops, but they're never open, and you walk past like the display glass, you can see all the water. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking, bro, don't make me come in with a brick, fancy one brick and it's done. Yo, trust me. Yeah, that's crazy. But yeah, guys, this week, uh, we've got some Reddits that we would like to read. Just dilemmas, first dates, instances um that went terribly wrong. Yeah, but it'd be nice to just hear these ones. I've got a couple here. Okay, come on. Okay, I've got a couple. Do you want me to start or do you go? Bro, you take it away. Okay. So I have got uh this one. I thought this one was really good. Yeah, so it was on Reddit by SoundGuy underscore 2603. Could be his date of birth, could be, I don't know, his the password to his phone. I don't know. So he posted and said, On my first date, I took this girl that I really liked from school to the cinema. During the ads, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, the movie had started. As it was dark, I thought I'd sat in my seat. Turns out I was sitting two rows behind her beside another girl and guy. I didn't realise until the lights were on at the end. I must have been too nervous to realise. How do you not even how do you not realise this? Because let's keep it real. Like, you're gonna be glancing over ever so often and just thinking, like, yo, like, should I hit the move? I don't even know if people still hit the move anymore. Can I be honest? Gone. She wasn't a looker. Nah, she was she wasn't a looker, bro, because Don is clearly saying that I'm looking at the screen and that's it. She wasn't it, bro. But you know when you go on a date, yeah, you gotta take a couple glances, like, is this me? This is me. I'm then right here, you know what I mean? Yeah, chest is high, you're there like I did that shit. Hey, trust me, who did that? I did that shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, she's with me, she's with me, and you know, with you, yeah, you know, View Cinema, you can lift up the joint in the middle and then screech over, like, hey, hey, let me get close. You know what I mean? Let me get a little bit close. Trust me, bro. Trust me, yeah. Sorry, darling, man. You weren't it, you weren't it. That was sad, fam. But if that was you and you see this, give us your take on it because listen, that's a story to tell. Sound guy underscore 2603. You get junk, man. He's a good junk. Use to get junk. Because do you know where it is? Well, I've realized as well, yeah, within the date market as well. When a guy traumatizes a woman in a date, yeah, yeah, she's out on a hold now. She's probably not she's not gonna go on another date for a minute. Yeah, yeah. Do you know, like when you're applying for a job and they get back to you and they're like, oh, this vacancy's put being put on hold? That's the exact same situation. Yeah, yeah. I hear that. She's on hold for a while now, and everybody on the roster is thinking, like, why is she not showing me love? It's because of that dude there. Yeah, trust me. Do you know what I mean? Slot number five, guy roster number five, fucked it up for three, two, one, and four. And all them brothers needs to come together and jump him, bro. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, because you fucked up the whole rotation, and the whole rotation. Stella, I was in the queue, bro. I was in the queue. Trust me. I went to see if I was gonna be successful because she took a leap of faith and picked number five and he fucked up. Do you know what I mean? Now, number six, standing there with his dick in his hands, bro. And what's he gonna do now, bro? Do you see what I'm saying? Trust me. Sad. But no hope, no hope at all, bro. Listen, yeah, that's sad, bro. That's sad. I got another one. Or do you wanna go? Nah, go for it, bro. Okay, I'll do this one and then you go, okay? Hey, this one was brilliant, bro. I think this one was amazing, yeah. So, hey, and I do feel for Donnie, but at the same time, it's like, hey, the game's the game, fans. You know what I mean? The game's the game. You gotta learn how to play it. Uh pick. MAT 203 on Reddit. This bad to put, yeah. She admitted to getting a booty call while we were sitting with drinks. After a trip to the restroom, I returned to the table and she was gone. Hit the ego. Oh my god. Bro, let me tell you right now, yeah. Yeah, I returned to the table and she was gone. Bro, she skedaddled. Skedaddled G. She's like, she's like, excuse me, dad. Let me just I think this is my friend. Hello, da da da. Mmm. Okay, can't. Five five minutes, five minutes, five minutes. I'm telling you, yeah. Oi, and I know this is a bit fucked up, yeah. But we've all been let's not say we've all been in that situation, but some of us have been in certain situations where hey, bro, should I even say this? Bro, speak for yourself. What are you talking about? Being in situations where a girl's gone on a date with a guy, yeah, and then bro. Is coming straight back to you after. Do you know what I mean? It's there like, how was your date? Uh it's there like, oh, do you know what I mean? It was not that was like it was like bro. Do you know how sad that is? You took her out. Look at me, look at me, look at me. You took her out, yeah, and another brother took her home. How does it feel? How does it feel? Listen, you took her out to feed her because she needed dinner. She needed dinner. Yeah. Now she needs pipe. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But you're not it. Because your body type is like a sponge. You spent money, yeah. He didn't spend money. How about that? Declan, bro. Yeah. Declan. Bro, it's peak. I know. Why am I telling myself on this pod, man? Bro, but I said your dream is actually my reality. Do you know what I mean? Trust me. Your dream is my reality. It happened in the past though. But guess what? I don't do them things no more. I don't do them things no more. Yeah, but now you fed her. She's in a good mood, so respect for that. Hey, yeah, trust me, trust me, trust me. Oh my gosh. That one was crazy, G. Hey, that's so peak. Imagine, bro. That's so peak. And you know what? I feel like more of us have been on the like taking someone out on a date and feeding them, and they've gone back with another brother than we all think. Yeah. That's probably happened to all of us, bro. Let's deep it. It's probably happened to every single one of us. Yeah. You're taking her out, but then her yeah, her booty calls just hit her up and mean they're like, yo, so what are you saying tonight? Sell her, oh, I'm not busy. They sell like ah, I've been played, bro. Played. Played. But it's the game, guys. It's the game. It's the game, bro. You need to, bro. There's this where you're the MVP. Yorkish doesn't win the MVP every year, trust me. Sometimes, bro, it comes as a solid second, bro. You can't win the MVP every single year. Sometimes, bro, you might win a scoring championship, but you're not gonna get an MVP. Trust me, trust me. That's what I'm saying. Trust me. Because you got them serial daters out there. Serial dating is nuts. But imagine thinking you're the guy. Yeah, you got the upper hand on this date. And she's like, Can we can we get the bill early? Because something's popped up. What'd you do if that was you? Well, if she's then like, can we get the bill early? Yeah. She's not feeding me. She's not feeling me, bro. If you think about it, if she's like, Oh, I've got something I'm doing after this. Or if I've always realized this, and I'm not saying it's it's never happened to me, but I'm just saying, if she's trying to wrap it up early or she has pans after the date, yeah, yeah. And I'm not trying to say, like, oh, she can't have pans after the date, because then you're thinking, oh, he's just trying to hit. But you've just got a tiny little window. Yeah, like what yeah, we've we went for dinner, let's go for a drink. Do you know what I mean? So she never planned for it to progress. To progress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you bro, we're we're leaving what at 10 pm now? Like, what's going on? Yeah, could be leaving at eight. So I've got some tweets, bro. I'll be real. Yeah. Oh, let me hear this shit, man. Okay, so my first one is my date complained about me on Facebook whilst I was at the table with her. I found out because I accidentally got tagged in the post. That's why I don't have Facebook, fam. We don't have Facebook. That's why we don't have Facebook. Listen, bro. You can imagine Facebook or Twitter. And was that Twitter or Facebook? It's Facebook. That's what I was saying. But you could do the same on both, right? I don't know how I'd feel about it, bro. Imagine, like, I could imagine this being like an older couple. Like Tracy and Dave. Tracy and Dave. Yeah. And they post everything they do, every outburden that they have. Tracy's like, yeah, Dave finally took me out, but guess what? He's not paying. Prick. And she's tagged him, bro. She's put at Dave. He's business. Why are you telling our business to everyone, bro? I really just I couldn't. I'd imagine getting the alert, bro. Notification. Tracy's tagged you. You think, say, she's taking a picture of the food. Yeah. We've got we're at a nice little joint in your head. You think we're at a nice little joint? And she's just slagging you off. And up and leave. You can tell you can hold that bill. I'm gone. Bro, facts. I'ma finish like two more bites and I'm gone. So you know when the bill comes out, yeah, yeah. You're not enjoying the date. Bro, have you ever just looked at the bill and just thought, yeah, like I'll wash the pans and you chop the potatoes, man? Do you know what I mean? Facts. You're looking at it, bro. You're hey, wait. Yeah, yeah. That number doesn't look right. Do you know what I mean? Why is it next to zero?
unknownBro.
SPEAKER_02I've been on it today before and I thought to myself, like, did you put the decimal point in the wrong in the wrong spot? Because what three cocktails and we we adding zeros. What's that charge there? Oh, that's the tip. 40 quid, bro. I know we invite it. Don't play with me right now, man. Because I feel like you looked at the uh the car machine and just went tip. Um 40. Do you know what I mean? Even if I was let me tell you right now, if I'm a millionaire, yeah. Yeah, I was a millionaire and I see a 40 pound tip charge, bro. I'm telling them, hey, big man, I'm not paying that. I'm not paying that, I'm not paying that. Hey, listen, I like to do it from the kindness of my heart. There's some uh restaurants where they add the tip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you, I got you, I got you. Let me choose what tip you. You might even get more, you don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Depending on how amazing the service was. Because there's been times where I've gone to a restaurant and it's been like somebody who's young, like 16, 18, and I've been there, like backed up like what, like 30s, just for them. Do you know why? Imagine a 30 year old, yeah. And what I do is fucking now, man. You joking? Oh, hey, yeah. So what I do is I'll I'll slip it to them and be there, like, yo, take that. Do you know what I mean? Bro, because you know what I hate? Sorry for kindness. Nah, you're good. Sorry for kind of you, but I hate when they're like it goes to everybody. That's what I'm saying. I'm giving this to you, too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Everybody here is big and growing, bro. Yeah, I'm trying to. This person's that I can see that they're working hard, they're young. So I'm just saying, like, I remember when when I was awaiting my first job at um at Nando's. I'll tell you guys my very first job. I worked at Nando's, and I'll even tell you um some stories about that on another episode. I don't even want to talk about that right now. But um, yeah, there was uh a couple of times where a lot of older people like in their 60s, you could tell like by their face, obviously, like the older generation, they'll they'll come in and they'll slip me like a 20s, 30s, and they'll be like, put that in your pocket. Yeah, because they can see I'm working, working. Bro, you're just starting to grind. Do you see that I mean? Facts, mad, yeah, bro. Mad times, man. Crazy. Let me let me hit you with one more, bro. Um, okay, so my next one, yeah. Halfway through the date. I was trying to flirt and I said you spilt some ice cream on your face. Turns out it was a zit. See, that's rude, fan. Yeah, bro. Listen, how are you not paying attention? Because you really need to when you go on a date, bro. You gotta pay attention. You gotta take in the information and think before you fucking sleep.
SPEAKER_01That's what you need to do. You need to that's what you need to do.
SPEAKER_02Nah, nah, nah, because that's how you get slapped. Yeah, I knew that I had a little insecurity, yeah, and it was like a spot on my face, or da da da, and you're you're zooming in in real life. Get out of here, bab. Get out of here, bro. What don't play with me, G. Don't play with me, baby. I know, and brother just has decided to turn up today. Yeah, come on, it's not my fault, bro. That's your fault. You should have known what you look like before you stepped out. What? So you cancelling the whole date because you got a little spot, yeah. So eh, it depends how bad the spot is. See, and where it's placed, yeah, because yeah, I've been on the date with a spot, obviously. But right on your cheek, fam. And it's bro, it's a plus one. Yeah, nah, no chance, bro. You cancelling, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm out, bro. I feel like I'm out. You gotta look good. First date. Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? You're gonna look good. It's bro, it's like first impression is always the best impression. I'd be real, I'm gonna have to Nelly that shit and put a plaster on it, fam. That one's bro, bro. You better hate that shit, bro. I'm telling you, trust me. That might be my boot. You might have to be. That might be my boot, bro. There's always no one, but I've let's be real, you might not get that opportunity again, fam. Let's be real. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, you gotta you gotta do something. 100%. You gotta do something, fam. Bro, okay. At what point, yeah, do you actually charge a bad date? Um, for me, in the middle, yeah, in the middle, but then you kind of know which way it's going. I'm already making plans halfway through. I'm there, like, let me just go to the toilet real quick. I'm making plans after I'm there, like, guys. What do you mind saying after this, bro? Facts, bro. Yeah, yeah. Thing done. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like I don't mind, uh bro. I don't mind covering the bill. You go on a date that's within your budget, yeah, okay. So you don't go on a date knowing, like, oh, this is gonna hurt my pocket, or oh fuck, I don't want to spend this money on this girl. Yeah, yeah. You go on a date to have a great time, yeah. And yeah, be chivalrous, bro. Spend your money on that first date. Because obviously, you like that's uh I just feel like that's the way to do it. Yeah, yeah. Like you don't want that awkward, like, oh, should we split the bill? What? Like, I don't like that. Yeah, I'll cover it. Yeah, calm. We don't see each other again. She got a free meal. Like, okay, you're that low that you wanted to get you wanted to go on a date with me so you can get a free meal. Now come on, man. Yeah, yeah. That's actually kind of embarrassing, fan. Yeah, embarrassing. Embarrassing. But yeah, I do it halfway through. I've hit you up before halfway through a date, and I've been like, yo, what are you man saying after, fam? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll be real, bro. It is what it is, it's exactly what you say, bro. Like, at the end of the day, this is uh this is a test of period. Let's see if we're compatible. If we're not compatible, what are we wasting time for? Let's be real. Facts. We had a good day, let's pay for it. I'm out. Don't ruin my whole day. Fuck that, bro. Wrap it up early. I'm looking at the clock. Tick, tick tick, tick tick, tick tick, tick tick. I'm out of there. Yeah, because if you're at a mill, you're gonna see me eat quicker now. Do you know what I mean? I'm dying. Yeah, yeah. I'm not having that steak yet, but yeah, trust me. Hey bro, listen. Let me let me pay for this real quick. I'm out. I'm out, Ski. Yeah, man. Guys, charge it, bro. Yeah, guys, don't they shy, bro? Do you know what I mean? Just pay that quick. Uh just pay that quick peace, man. Trust me, we're here for experiences. Let's be real. Charge it. Go have fun. Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy yourselves. Definitely a phone call. Phone call, bro. Alright, let's get into it. Shorty, please pick up the phone. Pick all right, guys. We're gonna call a really good friend of ours. Um in fact, her and her sister have started a podcast as well. Yeah, bro. And me and Emma, we're really good friends. Um, we've been friends for a while. A little bit like what? Don't even know the period. We just uh but her and her sister Livia, amazing girls. They've got a podcast called Um Girls Who Overshare, and it's an amazing podcast. It's new. I know all you girlies are gonna fucking love it. Also, do love the tea. Let's be real. I love the tea, bro. I love the tea, especially when Emma's got the tea. I'm there for it, man. I'm actually there for it, bro. Yeah, I hear that. But um, yeah, we're gonna give him a call and just get him a bowl within the episode and just see. Guys, you're gonna love it. You're really gonna love it. They're so fucking funny. Um, but yeah, Emma's funny as hell, and yeah, let's get straight into it. Hey, hey Emma, how you doing the click?
SPEAKER_00How you doing? Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.
SPEAKER_02It's all good. We've actually been waiting for this day because I remember when I first tired around the period, me and Declan, you were there. Like I said, yeah, we're gonna come on the pod just for a small period of time.
SPEAKER_00But uh I know, I know, it's manifested into reality, honestly. What am I doing with it?
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, but um, yeah, so our date, uh sorry, but our episode today is based around your worst first date, and we just want to get more information about that. We want to get the tea from the girlies. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Oh, you know the girlies have the tea scalding heart as well. So you you two are in for a treat, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Are you there with your twin? Is she there too?
SPEAKER_00Uh no, I'm not. You've just got me today, unfortunately, but you're gonna have to get Lydia on another episode.
SPEAKER_02It's not unfortunate, it's actually great. We still have you on. That's more than enough. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Great, she knows the story I'm about to tell.
SPEAKER_02So I want to ask you, what's the worst first date you've ever been on?
SPEAKER_00Go on, give us a lucky lucky for you guys. I've got these stories in abundance, and I had to pick my favorite. Like, I really had to sit down and think. And do you know what? I feel like the one that tops them all is the one that happened recently. So we're gonna start at the beginning. I'm gonna give you guys some context. Feel free to like jump in if the madness is too mad, ask your questions, like whatever you need to do. Um, but yeah, okay, so let's start at the beginning. Um, I'm walking home, like I'd just come back from the office. I'm just trying to get from A to B. Like I'm listening to my music, like music is blaring, and I'm just like walking at a like a brisk pace. Like I'm a Londoner during the day. Do you know what I mean? So I'm walking with intention, like it's dark, and I'm all yeah, yeah, yeah. I do my bit when I'm in London yet. Um but yeah, so I'm I'm walking home, uh, and probably listening is like Keisha Carriana, one of them ones. And um in the corner of my eye, I see this hand, fingers spread, like swipe at the air, like almost like towards my shoulder. And I was like, this is it, this is how I'm gonna go. Like, it's it's nice to know you guys. Like, God, they said you shouldn't walk home. Like, I'm such an idiot. Anyway, quickly I whip off my headphones, turn around, and I see a man stood there, and I say without hesitation, I don't even think my mind registered that I was gonna come out with this, but I went, didn't anyone tell you not to walk behind a woman at night? And I said it with chests, I said it loud. There was some roofers doing some work on like a roof next to us, and the way they stopped what they were doing to look down at what was about to unfold, like it was crazy. But I was like, Okay, I'm safe, there's people around, I've made it obvious that this man is a stranger. Anyway, he actually ended up being quite nice.
SPEAKER_02He's a gentleman trying to shoot his shirt.
SPEAKER_00Do you know what he was lovely? And he was like, he was just asking me about my star sign. I mean, I'm not I'm not like really into astrology or whatever, but I was like, oh, it was a star sign, you know.
SPEAKER_02It is that's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Is that a line? Like, is that a line?
SPEAKER_02I'm never using that. I'm not gonna be there like, oh, what's your star sign? That's me, bro. We know your game, buddy. Do you know what I mean? Trust me.
SPEAKER_00You've got to do your research though. For what you can't just you can't just come out with a line, you've got to back it with all your knowledge. Yeah, um, anyway, he's like told me his name, how old he is, like, we're sat there talking. Well, sat there, we're stood there talking for like 15 minutes. Anyway, he asked to walk me home. And in my mind, I'm like, yeah, sure, like we're getting on, you can walk me home. But then I'm also like, he could always just follow me, so he might as well, I might as well be in his good book. So I was like, Yeah, you can walk me home. Anyway, he's walked me home and he's gone, can I have your number? I want to take you on a date. And I'm like, amazing, we'd love that. Like, there's nothing worse than a man that lives in your phone and it doesn't manifest to a date. I was like, done this.
SPEAKER_02Sorry to just cut you up. Go ahead. Walks you home the first date that you met. That's the first encounter, bro.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's good. He looks good, he looks good from this point in the story, but I'm telling you, it rapidly declines beyond this point. So, yeah, the way you are looking at this man really admirably, it's gonna change real quick. He becomes the villain really quick. Anyway, so he's gone, yeah. Can I take your number? Whatever. Anyway, like the week kind of progresses. I hear from him, he's like, I'm gonna take you out on Monday or whatever, it was a weekday, whatever. I was like, Okay, cool, no worries. He texted me the day before the date. Oh, I need to backtrack because I rang my mum as soon as I walked through those doors because my mum is like my bestie. This is vital information. So I'm FaceTime Mum, and I was like, I just met someone. She went, You what? And I was like, Yeah, I met someone. I was like, he walked me home, like we were getting on, da-da-da. She went, Emma Babes, you met him the old-fashioned way. That's how I used to meet him back in the day. I went, I've done it. I've honestly I've eliminated all these red flags with social media and getting to know someone online. That I'm like, I've written the whole story in my head. I'm liking the plot, he's looking good. If he follows the script, nothing can go wrong, basically. Um, so anyway, the date rolls around. Um, on the day, I didn't hear from him, which is just such an error from a guy's perspective. Like, always check in with the babes on the day and just be like, wear this, this time, this is where we're going. Anyway, I started getting ready.
SPEAKER_02I've heard that's the pattern, bro.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you know what? It's not hard to do. Like, do not go out with friends, it's a similar, similar policy policy. Um, but anyway, um, I text him and I'm like, all right, well, like what time? Like, where are we going? This man types spoons question mark.
SPEAKER_02Right, right. Spoons on a spoons, uh bro. No thought got was put into that at all, bro. He walked past spoons on the way home, probably. And ever. I know when anytime we're out, you always dress up like you love to dress up and look good and that. So I can imagine you must have got real done up for it just to go to spoons.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so gal, I took my heels off. I went right, I'm too dressed up. I was like, I got dressed down. I shook my head, sat down, and took my shoes off.
SPEAKER_02I was surprised you still went.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, the thing is, there's a lot to unpack in that like that tiny message, spoons question mark. It wasn't even a sentence, and the fact that it's a question, I'm like, I'm not you like you're not planning this. I am at this point, because you're asking me. There's no thought, like no thought at all. And I was like, does he think? Well, to be fair, he did pick me up at the side of the road, so maybe I look like a to the type of girl who wants to go to spoons. Y'all, so yeah, anyway, at this point, I ran my sister, like hooting and hollering, like, I don't want to go to spoons. I've never been to the spoons before in my life. Never.
SPEAKER_02Trust me. All right, Danny, you want to pry? Yeah, go on, mate. Yeah, there's Steve's and Lisa's in there, man. Damn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, not my scene, not my scene. Like, don't get me wrong. I had the Weather Spoons app on my phone for time, but when I was at uni, I'm a grown girl now. Like, I'm not, I'm not going there. Anyway, he's outside, like, we go to spoons. I make a point of when we walk through the door, I look at this place like it's a museum and I've never been there before. I'm like, I've never been to never been here before. I made a point of saying it. He was like, Oh, yeah, really? I went, yeah, no. I was like, I don't come here. Yeah, like we got to set some standards. Anyway, we sit down. The poor man asked me what I want to drink. I say Pinot Grigio. He has to ask me twice what I'm saying because this man has no idea about any wines, but we're in spoons. So how would we, how would he know?
SPEAKER_02Do you know what we put a Pinot Grigio at spoon?
SPEAKER_00Oh well, I I think he pointed at the menu when he was at the bar because he definitely said this is what we got, and that's it.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00I'm dead anyway. Out of like trying to make conversation, I was like, Oh, what are you gonna drink? This man's like vodka, and I was like, and any mixer. He was like, nah, nah, just a double shot of vodka. And I was like, Well, how many of those would you have? And he was like, Oh, I'll have like 13, 26 shots of vodka.
SPEAKER_02Nah, this is how a documentaries start. Isn't that like a bottle of Smyrnoff? That must be, surely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, surely. I don't know how many shots are in a bottle.
SPEAKER_02And they were all doubles, no singles.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they were all doubles, and because we were in spoons, they were in tall glasses, no short glass, he wasn't looking suave with his spirit on the rocks. Like he looked like he was incomplete with his drink that was half empty, like it was just really weird.
SPEAKER_02Can I ask you something?
SPEAKER_00It is, yeah.
SPEAKER_02What was what is what was his fit saying? Was it matching your end like yours?
SPEAKER_00His fit was nice, but he didn't smell good. Like he smelt dusty. Like, like, yeah, no, come on. The scent is everything to a woman. If you smell good, you're instantly 10 times more attractive.
SPEAKER_02It's everything. I talked about this at the beginning of the episode. I was there like if someone smells good on a first date, oh yeah, clears. That if you're to pick other areas, it's oh yeah, yeah. I promise you, it's gonna make up for it 100% dusty, though, like muffballs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like he pulled out his winter coat and had it had it like dry cleaned beforehand. Um so yeah, he honestly was ticking no boxes. He was nice, yeah, but he was really chatty, he kept saying how much of a good guy he was, though, and how he's got sisters and da da da da. Um anyway, vital bit of information for the story. Um, obviously, in this town, everyone knows everyone. Um, so I've got this one friend who I shall not name, but they will know exactly who they are, who knows everyone, basically. And it's kind of gotten to the point where I won't even run past, like, won't even run people past her because I kind of want to like revel in the ignorance, like ignorance is bliss. I just don't want to know. Like, I want to be in my little bubble, he's perfect, there's nothing wrong. Like, I'm not the other woman, anyway. So I've gone, oh, you know, this person, because I can see that she's a mutual on Instagram. Um, and he's like, Yeah, yeah, like we went back, we we go way back, like we were at school together. And in like in my mind, he should have gone, fuck, like we've got mutuals. That means my history is gonna be unpacked when this girl goes back to her friends, you know? So this is the time to tell the truth or forever. Hold your peace. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Already we're at that stage, crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, crazy, crazy. Like this, this is an interrogation. This ain't a date, right? I'm doing my little fact check-in and everything. Anyway, so yeah, well, on the date, this man is telling me he's got allotments that he tends to at the weekends with his friends. I'm assuming they're growing fruit and vegetables.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's a that's a grow house.
SPEAKER_00Oh, well, okay, maybe you got there way quicker than I did because I took him I took him for a country bumpkin. Like, I was like, this man is is like he's clearly into agriculture.
SPEAKER_02Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't know, like I just in that moment I was like, Oh, okay, like whatever. Anyway, I'm like, he's lovely, but there's just no energy there. And he was like, Can I walk you home? And I was like, Yeah, you can walk me home. And then we were outside, and he was like, Can I kiss you on the cheek? And I was like, No, you can't. And then I went back inside, and then I was like, I'm never gonna see this man again. Um, but in my mind, I'm like, I'm taking mental notes because I'm going out with the girlies next weekend, and I cannot wait to tell them about this date because we are gonna be dying. Anyway, I go and see said friend who at knows absolutely everyone, and I'm like, Oh yeah, like I went on a date. Um, but this is the guy, like you know him. And she was like, Do I? She was like, who is he? So I showed said friend the Instagram account, and she goes, Emma, this man was went to prison twice for possession of firearms, and you know who there's a that's Sully or Deshain, crazy.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, that's top boy right there.
SPEAKER_00You know what? I was living it, I was living it. Oh my god, um and I wish you saw my face when this happened, and then she added, you know, those allotments that he's tending to at the weekend, he's probably growing weed on them, or he's sawing shit underneath.
SPEAKER_01Bro, see it there, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Come on, man. What guy do you really know that's like less than what 50? That's a has allotments. Come on, man.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Am I a bit slow then? Because you got that straight away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, uh yeah, 100%. I don't know what it is, no, because when girls like a guy, uh all that shit goes out the window, you're just like, oh no, do you know what? Yeah, oh he's amazing. Like, I just want to see where this goes. You just want to see the good, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Jesus, you're finding the silver lining and everything they're saying. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I drink straight vodka. Oh, he's mature, like he's got a mature power.
SPEAKER_02Come on, that's razors going down your throat. Let's be real.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, I should have known better. I was young, naive, honestly. So that is the worst thing. So actually, after that, because I like to go out with a bit of a bang, um, I text him and I was like, Oh, I just spoke to so-and-so about you. And he was like, Oh, like really like say hello, and I was like, You're such a liar, and then I just blocked him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you had to get a last say in it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, 100%, 100%. So I wonder if this will get back to him.
SPEAKER_02He was shook. You know when you said, Oh, yeah, I just spoke to so-and-so, yeah, he was shook. He knew, yeah, he was over, yeah. Yeah, he knew it was over.
SPEAKER_00But he was like, say hello. So I'm like, You're still like you're either delusional or you're crazy.
SPEAKER_02Like, he had to play it to the end. He had to see it through, yeah. He had to play it to the end. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Damn, that is a story and a half.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, it's a bit mad, and I think about it often, and I'm like, what Emma, what were you doing? But that is the last time I give a man who comes up to me in the street a chance. Like, I'm just not doing that. Do you know what I mean? Like, what am I on? Like trying to put the worlds to right.
SPEAKER_02So, when you watch this episode, obviously, you'll get to yeah, you definitely got you beat us on this.
SPEAKER_03Tag me! Tag me 100%.
SPEAKER_00Jesus, uh yeah, so I'm gonna wait, is there a question?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, of course. Always asked, uh, so in the future, how can you avoid this? Well, how are you gonna maneuver this sort of situation if it if it occurs again?
SPEAKER_00Okay, cool. Right. This feels like a bloody performance review. This does. Like, how how can you do better next time? How can you be 1% better next time? Um, but okay, I would say no, I'm not gonna take the trauma from this experience into other experiences because then I'm not gonna experience anything. I've just said that three times, but you know what I mean. Like, I think I very much wear my heart on my sleeve, and I I like to believe in giving people chances, and I'm not gonna have trust issues, like, I'm not gonna do that. Um, but I think to be honest with you, like I think it was a very like conscious choice to like put myself out there and like go on dates, and like I feel like proud of myself to like a degree that I like put myself out there because I've always shit myself before I date. Like, I know I was come across confident, but it's all false confidence, babes. Like, do you know what I mean? Um, but God, remind me of the question again. I'm honestly gone on a tangent.
SPEAKER_02You're good, you uh you done amazing, honestly. You did you did answer it to be fair? But I do have a question for you. Um God, he took you to Spoons, he smelled dusty, he was drinking straight vodka. At what point do you charge a date?
SPEAKER_00Charge a date, like at like call it a date.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like you stuck through a lot there. Do you know what I mean? What point do you just say, you know what they said in it? I got I got though. You're wasting my time.
SPEAKER_00Oh, do you know what? I will always see it through to the end because I really think to a degree he kind of deserved it because he was nice, like bless him, he was sweet, and like I just I didn't have it in me to be savage and just just dip. Do you know what I mean? Um, so yeah, do you know what? That that question, it I don't know, that I feel like that's the title of the pod right there.
SPEAKER_02Because that's just we'll think about it, we'll yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, to be honest with you, I feel like I yeah, I don't have it in me to be that savage and just get up and leave because that's just straight up rude. But now I'm also talking about this person on someone's platform, so I feel like that's probably even worse. I should have just got up and left.
SPEAKER_03You've got to share your experience, yeah. You do, yeah.
SPEAKER_00You can laugh about him now. Oh, yeah, 100%. And that's not that's what I was thinking the whole time. I was like, this is gonna make a really great story that I'm gonna laugh about later.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, who's winning? We've both got content now. Who's winning?
SPEAKER_02100%. We also want to give you a massive shout out. We're already done in our introduction. We want to say huge congratulations to girls who overshare SM amazing podcast, yeah. And I can't even believe it. When you first um when you first started, I was like, wait, what? This one back, didn't she? Yeah, but honestly.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much, King.
SPEAKER_02I watched the first two episodes and I was like, Fucking hell, you were made for this. Yeah, 100%. Me and Declan. Honestly, me and Declan went through a few hurdles, but then when I watched George, I was there like, damn, you man are natural. Yeah, just Dr. Wolver. Honestly, yeah, man, for real. But we'll keep the supporting it is amazing. We're definitely gonna tag our friends on it to make sure that they watch it too. We'll repost it. But uh honestly, like we're just gonna be supporting, we'll be by your side the whole time, and yeah, hopefully soon we can have a little collab. 100%.
SPEAKER_00Definitely, definitely. We need to get in the diary, is for sure.
SPEAKER_02Honesty, honestly. But um, you've been an amazing guest, and hopefully, we can have you on again on the phone, and Lydia can join us next time. Yeah, do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we need to get Lydia up next. She's joked. If you think I'm funny, like you're gonna be slapping your knees with that bitch because she's hilarious, she's just so funny. Honestly, oh, thank you so much for the love, guys. Honestly, I really appreciate it, and we gotta support each other. Do you know what I mean? We've brought each other, yeah. Yeah, hundred percent, hundred percent, and we'll definitely hit you up soon, okay? Yeah, great. Thank you so much, guys. Bye.
SPEAKER_02Hey, that was a story and a half, bro. What hell, man, isn't it? Firearms, that was everybody gone now, Jesus Christ, bro. That's that's sunny, that's just shame. Top boys out here. You know that you know that was a trench coat as well. That dusty trench coat, he said, yo, let me let me get this one out quick. Damn, hey yo, miss, let me let me let me chat to you. Let me chat to you, bro. Because you know I'm doing my thing, innit? You know I'm doing my thing, innit? Jesus Christ, bro. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh bro, Donny said I got a couple allotments, man. Yeah, he's gonna like that, bro. Yeah, do you know what? Donnie says straight one. Don't don't leave, don't need no mixer, Jim. No mixer. I know he bought that. Was a ball of money pulled out, isn't it? In the elastic band. Hey, yo. Let me get through these real quick. Yeah, trust me. Let me get through these. Uh damn, what a story, bro. Guys, you've been cutting me up all episodes, man. That's your business. Guys, that was Emma. She's amazing and a great friend of mine, and Declan. Um, and Declan's damn. I don't hear Declan. Yeah, it's for the effort. Real harsh, yeah. Yeah, but yeah, she's an amazing person, and yeah, if you can follow her podcast and her sisters, go to Over Share. Um, they're on YouTube, um, Spotify, all platforms, all platforms, yeah. Look at me just naming them one by one. That's me. Go and watch their shit, man. They are popping and they got all the tea. Hey, Emma Clacky. Oh, let's see. But um, yeah, amazing guests. Declan, news bulletin. Let's get right into it, bro. Hey, here's the motherfucking news. Newsbeat, newsbeat. Okay, listen, I got something for y'all. But if this is new to you, that means you're new here, and that means you need to hit that like, comment, and subscribe because you're new. But for those of you that have been here, trust me. Hit that shit, man. Hit that shit. This is newsbeat time, and I got some news for y'all, bro. Listen, 780 million is what Nike are putting on the table for Steph and Curry. Because if you didn't know, he's left Under Armour, bro. I saw that. I saw the game the other day with Steph Curry, yeah, wearing the new Kobe's. Um, they could have been the older Kobe's, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they were, yeah. But I was just bro, I was baffled because I was thinking like fucking hell, why is he wearing Kobe's? I swear he's with Under Armour. Listen, Under Armour have three big names, yeah. Dwayne Rock Johnson, Anthony Joshua, and Stephen Curry. How you losing the cornerstone tonight, bro? Listen, that's seven bro 700 M's is a lifetime deal. 780 M's, you could retire right this second, bro. So, what I'm thinking is they offered LeBron a lifetime deal. Um, I think this was like what like about I'd say about six years ago. Yeah, yeah. And that was like over a bill. Yeah, so the fact that they've offered him this now late in his career, it shows you how marketable um Steph Curry is. Yeah, he is his second most markable player from uh that's currently playing. Yeah, that's currently playing. Nobody else's yeah, is like that. Yeah, they literally said that they need Curries to basically be a cornerstone like Jordan's, LeBron's, and then they want um Curries to be the next cornerstone shoe. Do you know what I mean? So did you do you know the reason why he didn't sign with Nike? Um no so Steph, I'll tell you a short story. And you might not even remember this. I'd done a presentation of Steph Curry back in college, yeah, and this is when he was like looking for a shoe deal, wasn't it? So on his presentation, like um when he was at the yeah, when I got it for Nike, they had KD as a picture, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it wasn't his picture, and it was like, What you might have not even taken me serious, not even taking me serious, I remember me there, and you're asking for me to jump on, like we want to sign you as a cover athlete, but we got somebody else there. Let's be real. My dad is a basketball player, yeah, and you don't know my name. Bro, I'm out of here. Yeah, I remember, yeah, we're joking. Then Underama was just there, like you bro, let's keep him up. Yeah, trust me. Because Underama at the time, they were a household name, but they didn't have stars like that. Let's be real. He was like one of the first big stars, and yeah, bro. Yeah, that's that's crazy to me, fam. That's ridiculous, but but good on Steph, man. But I don't want him signing that before he divorces Aisha Carey, bro. Facts. I'm just being real. Facts. He's not touching that bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like to nightcare. Hey, give me that money when I say give me that money, okay? Yeah, hold that for a second. Yeah, hold that for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of pro athletes that do that. Yeah, they do that when they see like a divorce is coming around the corner, yeah, and if things are not good at home, they'll tell like major deals, hey, hold on to that. Well, I'll work for free for the time being. Yeah, but I want uh an agreement in place right now, written that you'll give it to me at this period of time. They do like um something like um months work to something like all years work, yeah. So like after this at XYZ, let's say call it a year, after a year's worth of work, then pay me. Yeah, not now. I need a divorce to go through first. Facts, yeah, yeah. Smart. Let's be real. I hope she don't get a slice of that cheese, bro. Oh my life. Yeah, oh my life, 100%, bro. I've got something for you. Okay, you might have already seen this, but it's nice to share with the guys. Oh, yeah, the guys' group chat was going off the other day, and it was going off. I know what you're talking about. Hey, you know what I'm talking about, yeah, yeah. It's going off. So our boy, hey, PR put this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. PR, thank you for the information. Trust me, guys. As you know, some of you don't know, we have our own dedicated HR, PR, whatever you want to call it. Both, bro. You ain't even got it like that. What you ain't even got it like that, bro. I'm joking, but um, so uh it was for Unilads, is it Unilads? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is Uni Lads. So women with nine months left um to live, ask husband if she's gonna sleep with her ex one last time. I'm pulling the cord.
SPEAKER_03I'm pulling the cord, bro.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna need you to insert the picture, yeah. But uh guys, when you see the picture, I'm telling you, she was looking out her window and while she was asking this question, and I'm gonna promise you she's either looking out the window, and that's the last thing she's seeing, or guess what? You want to look out the window? Go right ahead, go right ahead about you're crazy. What nah he used to do that thing that I liked, then what's it be like? Yeah, because she be like, she say some dumb shit like unlike you, here's that dangly dang thing in the back of the throat. Hey, listen, I promise you, there's nothing you can say. I'm I'm charging it, bro. I'm charging it, bro. The uvula, that's it, bro. The uvula, the uvula, that's crazy. I didn't I didn't even know that, I'll be real. I'll be real with the people, I didn't know that. Jesus Christ, man.
SPEAKER_01Hey, bro, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, guys, what's your take on that, man? Well, if you're in a relationship, let us know if your spouse said that to you. How'd you feel? Um, and really take the question into consideration. Do you know what I mean? Like nine out nine months to live. Some people would gaslight the situation and be there like, if you were in the situation, I'd let you do it. Bullshit. Don't ever let somebody do that to you. Because what you're just gonna sit downstairs now and just hear huh, huh, huh? No chance, bro.
SPEAKER_03Hey, hey, who's clapping? Who's clapping? Trust me.
SPEAKER_02Watch, are you just gonna sit downstairs and watch? I'm a celeb. Yeah, yeah, long day. I can hear clapping up in here, fam. Yeah, long day, fam. Yeah, facts, long fucking day, bro. Yeah, guys, would you let your other half get their cheeks clapped by their ex? No chance. If they were dying, that's the question. Yeah, straight to the point. Damn. I got one more for us, yeah. Oh, sorry. Nah, it's calm, bro. It's calm. I got one more though, because the weekend just gone was one of the biggest sports weekend of all time. The fuck happened, fam. What did I miss, bro? Connor Ben and Chris Eubanks Jr. fan. Yeah, stupendous. Stupid was a sweetie. Smart T would be like that. Hey, listen, yeah. Where was Eubanks Jr. Junior got lit up, bro? What the fuck happened? Where was he, bro? Because he didn't, he didn't, he wasn't there. He got pissed up, he got and listened let me tell you something, guys. If you watched last week's episode, you're gonna know what I'm talking about. I'm gonna find a way to slip 50 cents into this episode. Yeah, because brother come out to many men. Bro, every episode, 50 cent, 50 cents, yeah. Just we're so vexed, bro. How has Brother come out to many men? Wish death upon me. Yeah, smoked and gets smoked, bro. It was peak. Connor Ben said, listen, I come here for scraps. He comes for yeah, and then bang, bro. I'm come here for my last name, bro. You understand? Now he came there like Eubank owed him money, fam. Yeah, yeah. He tore him up, tore him up in there. Hey, it was peak. I don't know if you saw the hospital pictures afterwards. Nah, I ain't seen them. Bro, Eubanks, he looked like a bumblebee, fam. He was swollen. Nah, but fuck all of that, yeah. Wait, do you know what? The way that Connor Ben was there, like, oh, nah, it's done, it's done now. No, no, it's not done. It's not done. That's not done, fam. One, one, now, it's not done. Where you go with it? We're running it back, bro. Because I was on pushy shit, I'll be real. I'll be real back all the time. One name has to stand. Do you get me? Yeah, yeah. Uback Jr., I promise you. He wants that shit back in blood fat. I promise you, bro. Ain't no way. I'll be real. Connor Ben is is taking it. A hundred percent. Yeah. If you think if you're with team Ubax, bro, I'm with Team Ben. That's all I'm saying. Hey, telling you hitting in the pocket, in the pocket, just slipping it. Here with a Philly shell. Yeah, Jesus. Hey, hey, you're not hitting him enough, bro. Yeah, not hitting him enough. That was crazy, bro. Bro, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. I think the episodes just keep getting better and better. What do you think? Yeah, bro. 100%. It's the natural order of things. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, stupendous. Stupid. See, Declan, remember at the beginning of the show, Declan was down here. Trust me, bro. He just needs the pod for us to bring it back here. Do you know what I'm saying? Hey, get money, bro. Racks on racks on racks. Yeah, we're building, bro. I'm here. See, guys, you make him happy. Trust me, bro. So you know what to do, man. Hit that subscribe button. Trust me. That follow if you're listening on the Audible. And please bell notification and hit that motherfucking line. Hey, and I know if you don't hit that, I'm a CU fan. Yeah. How about that? Because what did we say at the beginning of the show? We're going to a live show to watch a pod. So what? Call it a couple years from now? We're gonna see them live at a pod. I don't know. I'm just I'm just I still can't believe we're growing fans. You know what I mean? I'm just saying shit, bro. Maybe a couple years from now, yeah. They're gonna come see. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? We'll just hold on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take it easy. Yeah, but um, amazing, yeah, bro. Amazing episode. Um, guys, we hope you loved it. We love being here for you. Hope you're here for us. Um, you can fuck off now. We'll see you later, innit? Trust me, go on about your day. I don't know what you're doing, but go on about your day, man. We're for nothing else to get stepped, step got nothing left. All right, we'll see you next week. That's a wrap. Yeah, yeah, yeah.