Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy. I'm Dr. Catherine, your host. I'm a pediatrician with 35 years of experience and the mom of four fantastic kids. Today we're going to be talking about starting school. Whether this is your child's first time at school or just the first day of this year. Either way, it can be an enormous challenge, and feeling nervous, excited, and scared are all expected. My youngest child found it really, really difficult to say goodbye at drop-offs, and she'd cling to me and wrap her arms around my leg and dig her fingers into me and refuse to let go. Every single morning was a challenge, and although I knew all the right things to do and say, it didn't really make it any easier on my heart. One day, I asked my daughter, what would make it easier for you to say goodbyes? And she surprised me and she said, I want my older sister to take me to class. I want Marissa to take me. And that was the last day she struggled with goodbyes. So kids are full of surprises. And I'd like to go through some of the easy and gentle ways you can make those first days or weeks extra special and smooth. So the first thing is pick school clothes for the next day the night before. Let your child choose what she wants to wear if she wants to do that. Now, as goofy as this might sound, I used to put outfits together and put them in a see-through plastic bag, and my kids would choose which outfit they wanted to wear. And that way there was no disagreements. Any choice was okay. And in fact, we used to choose the clothes for the week, so it was just done and there was no discussion. Allow your child to make this choice the day before, but not when she's tired. It's really hard to make decisions when you're tired. You probably know that yourself. And kids take what they wear to school pretty importantly. So if you're doing the concept of doing a whole outfit choice, there's less discussion, but sometimes kids want to change what's in the outfit, and I try to go along with their choices as much as possible. Let's talk about school lunches. Preparing them the night before, at least for the first few weeks of school, will allow you to give your kids your full attention when you're getting them off to school in the morning. In fact, I'd suggest having your kids help you with preparing their school lunches the day before. A few days before school starts, prep your child exactly what to expect when they arrive at school. Include what they might do, what they might see, and what they might feel. And then also talk about how they can manage those feelings. We're going to get to that in a moment. Hopefully, bedtime is already back to a reasonable time for school. If not, a bedtime somewhere between 7.30 and 8.30 is typically ideal. Wake your kids up earlier than you typically would so that you leave room for those first day jitters. That way you can leave calmly, which will make goodbye so much easier. Now, the biggest part of going to school for many young kids and for parents is that separation anxiety. This is often a heart-wrenching and challenging part of starting school. So if your child cries at the drop-off, here's the big-hearted way of managing goodbyes. This is what I would say. It's okay to cry when we say goodbye, sweetheart. I'm sad too. We love each other, and that's a really nice thing. I know you don't want me to leave, but I'll be back right after nap time. When you finish crying, you'll have all sorts of new toys to play with and new friends. What do you think you're gonna play with today? Or you could say something like, You're sad we need to say goodbye. I get it, but I know you're strong and I know you're gonna feel better really soon. Don't say, Don't cry, you're fine. Or stop crying, you're a big kid now, you go to school. Also, really importantly, don't sneak out. Sneaking out may seem like an easy way to get out, but this causes fear and distrust, and it leads to more difficult goodbyes down the road. If you think the first days of school may be challenging, and if drop-offs allow, team up with your child's school friends so the kids can go into the school together. With one of my kids who also had some separation anxiety, I was really nervous about the first day of school, and so we arranged that her and her best friend would go together, and her best friend just took my daughter's hand and they walked into the classroom together, and that was that. Another way to help your child over what seems like forever is to send a lunchbox note. It's such a sweet way to help your child feel a connection to you in the middle of the day, and that's really key in a long school day. After school can also be a tricky time. Most kids don't want to talk about their day, and they'll shut down if you press them. So instead, just a nice welcome home is best. I'm so happy to see you or I missed you. Tantrums aren't uncommon after school. Kids have kept their behavior and feelings in check all day long, and after school, when they're home in their safe place, many of them lose it altogether. So expect this. Sometimes a quick snack right when the kids get home can decrease the after school outbursts. At bedtime, share some stories about how you coped with things that made you feel uncomfortable, how you managed those challenging moments in your life. Now that the school year is about to begin, or for many of you has already begun, it's a good time to establish routines, but remember, allow some flexibility with the schedule as needed. That's a bite-sized overview of how to make the first day or days of school easier. On a completely different note, I've recently created a guide called Words That Work. You'll find in this guide 200 scripts to help manage any tricky toddler moments. You see, it turns out you don't need to be a perfect parent to raise an awesome kid. Just knowing what to say, no matter what is thrown your way, can really help. Have a wonderful week and keep up the good work.