WEBVTT 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:08.640 Well, happy Mother's Day to all of you ladies. 00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:15.039 Um, my name is Katie, and I'm on staff here at Church of the Grove, and I'm just excited this morning that I get to learn from you. 00:00:15.119 --> 00:00:20.559 I have a cool seat that I get to hear from your wisdom, and we're all on different journeys of motherhood. 00:00:20.640 --> 00:00:25.199 And so I would love for you to just introduce yourself, tell us who you are, how many children you have. 00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:26.719 We'll start with you, Stacey. 00:00:26.960 --> 00:00:33.520 So I'm Stacy Lawrence, and I am I usually attend the social circle campus, and I am the mother of seven. 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:37.759 Seven from ages 18 to almost 10. 00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:38.960 Do you sleep? 00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:40.560 Uh actually I do. 00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:42.719 They're pretty self-sufficient. 00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:44.799 Hi. 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:52.079 Um, I'm Joy Faulkner, and I'm the mother of two children, Jonah, who's 23, and Reese, who's 16. 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:54.560 I'm Shannon Browning. 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:55.520 I have four children. 00:00:55.679 --> 00:01:04.480 I have a son who's 26, twin girls who are 24, one of whom is about to give me a grandchild any moment, and a son who's 21. 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:13.920 And my name is Jill Butcher, and I have three 24-year-old Josiah, almost 21 Abigail, and 17, Caleb. 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:15.680 17, just turned 17. 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:25.840 So I have an eight and a five-year-old, so I'm a little behind you guys, so I can't wait for you to impart your wisdom on me of what you've learned, what you've messed up on. 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:27.680 We love to hear the mess ups, right? 00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:28.000 Yeah. 00:01:28.159 --> 00:01:28.799 Everybody likes that. 00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:31.120 How many times have you locked your kids in the car? 00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:32.640 Have you all done that? 00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:32.879 Yeah. 00:01:33.040 --> 00:01:33.200 Okay. 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:35.439 Or left them on the field. 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:37.519 Yes, or left them on the field, forgot them. 00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:44.400 Um, all those fun things that we want to laugh about, but also to as we walk and know the Lord more and seek Him. 00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:48.879 So I look up to you guys and your journeys. 00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:53.599 Um, the more I get to know you and the more I've learned about you being in Church of the Grove. 00:01:53.760 --> 00:02:05.840 Um, tell us who influenced you, who have made you the mom that you are, who poured into you, because you guys pour into so many other moms like me in the early stages that we're in. 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.519 Who who poured into you? 00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:08.319 My mom. 00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:08.879 Her mom. 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:12.800 And I don't know that she would want to hear that I'm I'm the mom I am because of her. 00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:15.599 I don't think I measure up too well. 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:19.199 But anyway, she loved Jesus, still does with all her heart. 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:22.639 I still call her all the time to pray for my my children. 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:26.719 Um she um has always led by example. 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:38.960 I have always watched my mom hunger and thirst after God, and and that's been an inspiration to me and and pray for us, and so I pray for my kids, so I pretty much am followed in my mom's footsteps. 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:41.919 You joy. 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:45.439 Um definitely my mom as well. 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:55.599 Um, my dad died when I was eight, and I'm the baby of six children, so um I saw her struggle to provide for six children alone. 00:02:56.000 --> 00:03:00.960 Um and I know um that she wouldn't have done it without the Lord. 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:15.039 I know that you know, without her faith, um she never would have been able to do the things that she did, and I I saw that struggle and how important we were to her to um be able to continue um with you know for us. 00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:16.719 Um definitely my mom. 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:17.120 Yeah. 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:17.840 Wow. 00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:18.560 Yeah. 00:03:18.879 --> 00:03:21.039 Anybody other than your mom, other people? 00:03:21.759 --> 00:03:24.000 Well, I'd like to say my mom too. 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:38.639 Um, my mom was a huge influence in my life um in many ways, but um I think for me it was really the the women that my mom surrounded herself with, and then of course we were surrounded by them as well. 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:40.400 And so it was just the influences. 00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:58.879 She was very particular about who that was, you know, making sure that they were godly influences and other women that we would, you know, look up to or have to be able to go to if we didn't, you know, if we felt uncomfortable calling to our mom or worried that we, you know, might disappoint her or something that we'd have other women to go to. 00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:08.479 So um I think my mom was very intentional about her relationships um because it they would be impactful to uh to my brother and sister and I. 00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:18.639 So um I have I have lots of female uh influences, other mothers, I I call them second moms in my life that are still my second moms to this day. 00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:27.199 Yeah, I think you can't underestimate the value of community, yeah, and you know, how they can reinforce maybe what your mom taught you. 00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:37.279 I mean, certainly my mom, my mother-in-law were super influential, but that other community that they had with them, and then as I became a mom and sought out people who were just a little bit ahead of me. 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:45.759 So, you know, of course, my mom was 25 years ahead of me in parenting, but to seek out those women who were maybe, you know, five or ten years ahead of me. 00:04:45.839 --> 00:05:03.360 Um so they've kind of you know gone through the same kind of struggles that societally we were going through that were different than yeah, than maybe what my mom had to go through, and just watching how they parented their children and and choosing those people who I wanted to surround myself with and surround my own children with, right? 00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:05.040 Um, that could have an influence. 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:06.800 I don't think you can underestimate that. 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:07.120 No. 00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:11.040 So, what would you tell the mom in 2022? 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:18.879 We've been through a pandemic, you know, there's no it's just unheard of of being a parent right now. 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:23.199 Like, you know, what would you tell a young mom or someone that's about to have a baby? 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:26.560 Um, that's just kind of like in the trenches right now. 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:27.759 Yeah. 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:31.920 To me, those those years are so easy now. 00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:32.800 Yeah. 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:43.120 Um, not not that I'll never forget my mom telling me one time because I called, I was exhausted, you know, they were running around and she said, darling, just remember these are the best years of your life. 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:46.879 And I said, Okay, let's go have a good time. 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:59.519 Um, and they were because no matter what uh season or culture that you're born in and you and you have your children, it they pick up on if you want to spend time with them. 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:00.000 Yeah. 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:17.040 And um, even though the pandemic is so different, I would look at it as man, what a great time to go outside and do everything you can and get out of the house and explore and and um and teach about everything God's created. 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:33.040 I I just think it's a I I think those early years are s yes, this is so formative, uh, but especially in them just not just bonding with you, but you teaching them to bond with Jesus as you do things with them, as you um interact with them. 00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:37.600 So I think it's a great opportunity to turn off the TV and go outside. 00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:42.240 Yeah, I would say don't do it alone. 00:06:43.120 --> 00:07:01.360 Um because even just we've been here in Loganville for 11 years, and the strength that I have drawn from other other moms, things that I've seen you, how you react to um situations that I would just be, oh you know, I would go crazy about it. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:02.399 You're so calm. 00:07:02.879 --> 00:07:04.480 And that that helps me. 00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:08.000 I see that and just different things that happen. 00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:12.000 Um, I see that and I like I'm like, I want to be more like that. 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:14.720 So if you're you know, don't do it alone. 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:15.279 Yeah. 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:23.199 I think um, you know, we talk about this all the time about comparison and how it it you know still really steals your joy. 00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:48.079 And you know, uh I encourage moms to surround themselves with other moms so that they can have that wisdom and that encouragement and see how other moms handle situations and do things, but then also giving yourself some grace and not comparing yourself to those other moms because everybody's situation is different, every kid is different, even the um even the ones you have in your own home, you know, each one is going to be different. 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:58.399 You have to almost parent them a little bit different, you know, handle situations differently with them, but really giving yourself some grace is actually not some, a lot. 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:05.759 A lot, a lot of grace, and that, you know, at the end of the day, loving your kids is really what matters the most. 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:21.680 Um, and and not, you know, comparing, you know, how well you do as a parent or how good your kid is or how well behaved they are or you know, any of those kinds of things, you know, at the end of the day, you want your kids to love Jesus and know that they are loved. 00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:30.319 Um, and and that's you know, to me, that out far outweighs, you know, teaching them all their ABCs before they get three-year-old pre-K. 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:35.039 I mean, don't do that to yourselves because it you're just gonna drive yourself crazy. 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:35.919 Yeah. 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:36.559 Yeah. 00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:39.519 So being a mom just has a lot of highs and lows. 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:48.799 I always talk to parents and I'm like, you're doing a great job, like you said, giving yourself grace and making sure that you celebrate the highs, the laugh a little bit at the lows. 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:54.080 Um, I know with mine, probably my high is just becoming a mom. 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:56.159 We were told we never could have children. 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:01.840 So that will always be something that I celebrate every day, you know, of God's blessings in my life. 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:12.240 But I think a low is that realizing there is a real enemy coming to destroy my family and attacking my kids. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:16.559 And like how I fight that as a mom is a low. 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:25.519 Um, talk about that, talk about how you know you've seen the maybe the enemy in your family or how you um stood strong against it in your family. 00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:26.639 How do you do that? 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:31.840 Um, a lot of you have you know kids in college or that have graduated or high school teenagers. 00:09:32.080 --> 00:09:33.440 That's a whole other animal. 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:34.720 I love teenagers actually. 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:41.200 I love my kids being teenagers, but um, you know, for me, like their John Four is my life first. 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:46.480 So, you know, I have no greater joy than to watch them, than to see that my children are walking in the truth. 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:52.000 And for us, um, three of our children are doing that, and one's not. 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:55.200 And you know, those are high points, certainly. 00:09:55.440 --> 00:09:55.759 Sure. 00:09:56.240 --> 00:10:11.200 But um, it's also a low, it can be a low point, and we've had to walk through several years of being able to accept that and to love him where he is, um, so that one day maybe he'll come back to what he knows. 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:12.799 The truth is. 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:26.080 And um, you know, I think for the moms that are walking through that and are saying, this didn't turn out the way I thought it would, you know, we we've we checked all the boxes, we were at church every Sunday, we we lived what we believed at home. 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:34.240 Um, and yet you still have a child that doesn't want anything to do with the Lord and sometimes doesn't even want things to do with your family. 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:36.639 Yeah, um, that can be really hard. 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:49.120 But also seeing that getting us getting to a point where we could say, you know what, we can't be his Holy Spirit, and the Lord has to work in his life and in God's timing. 00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:58.240 And um, you know, for a long time, I know for me personally, my husband a little bit, but especially for me, I wore that as I'm not a good enough mom. 00:10:58.320 --> 00:10:58.879 Yeah, right. 00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:02.799 You know, this is because of something I did or something I didn't do. 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:14.159 And um, you know, I would encourage moms who are in that season of life to get to that point where I knew that I could stand before the Lord one day and say, we did what we thought was right in raising him. 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:22.240 By no means did we do everything perfectly, and I don't mean that, but we did we acted in what we thought was the right thing to do at the time. 00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:37.840 You know, there's things we would maybe do a little bit differently now, but um, you know, and just recognizing that that God has all kinds of stories for all kinds of people, and we have the hope that one day he's gonna take Chris's story and reach other people through Chris's story. 00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:59.039 Well, and I think sometimes as moms, we get caught so caught up in the everyday life or or the expectation of what we think their lives should be, and they have a story of their own, even you know, from from little on, you know, God has a plan for their life, and we don't know what that plan is, only God knows what that plan is. 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:09.279 And yes, while we want to steer it, you know, and steer it in the right direction, it's really hard for us sometimes to swallow the fact that God's plan for them is God's plan for them. 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:16.240 It's not necessarily what our plan is or what we want or what how we think exactly the way it should should turn out. 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:23.519 It's it's God's plan for their life and and and they they they themselves deviate from that. 00:12:23.919 --> 00:12:33.679 You know, they make they make those choices, and that's that's hard as a parent, you know, to you know, especially, you know, as my kids continue to get a little bit older to see them making choices for themselves. 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:40.240 And you try to do your best to steer and lead in the right direction, but at the end of the day, they have their own free choice. 00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:50.240 And I keep saying at the end of the day, but they have their own free choice to make decisions for themselves, and it's hard when you they're not making the decision that you think they should make. 00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:53.519 Well, and and to it, I'm just thinking in hearing your story. 00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:55.840 Now I said I want to cry on the first one. 00:12:56.639 --> 00:12:58.320 No, Shannon, I think I'm gonna cry. 00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:07.679 Um but even though I don't know you as well, I you have encouraged me through some of your stories I still use with my children. 00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:10.320 I say Miss Joyce said this, and I'm gonna say it. 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:19.600 And Shannon as well, um, about when when the when when things happen that you don't expect. 00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:28.240 Um, and even sometimes it's not necessarily bad, uh, but something that I've always tried to communicate is I no matter what, I still love you. 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:30.879 I know God loves you more than I ever could. 00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:32.559 I've always said that. 00:13:32.960 --> 00:13:44.720 Um, I think they need to hear that even more when you are differing with them, whether that's uh where the clothes go or where their life is going, right um, that you still love them no matter what. 00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:44.960 Right. 00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:46.639 And um that God does too. 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:54.080 So, because I'll never forget my dad said, he said, you could never do anything that would make me not love you. 00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:07.919 I just remember taking it as a parent that I thought, please let me communicate that to mine because on a funny note, I asked I asked my children to give me a list of my pros and cons of strengths and weaknesses. 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:09.600 And um dangerous. 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:15.519 Yes, dangerous roads and the recurring and the recurring theme is I'm highly opinionated. 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:22.720 Um but thankfully uh no testimony from my husband. 00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:27.519 Um, but thankfully the recurring theme was we know you love us. 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:36.639 And um, and I I wasn't surprised at either, but I was glad to know that one of the top things they said, we know you love and care about us. 00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:45.039 Yeah, and um, and that you know, parenting, oh my goodness, it's g it gives you just the beginning of the picture of the heart of God. 00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:45.360 Yeah. 00:14:45.600 --> 00:15:00.080 Because even though I had great parents, imperfect, but great ones that love me big, um, it's every time I go to the to my heavenly father about my children, I'm like, oh, I'm I'm the worst kid there is. 00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:02.720 I'm gonna break your heart all the time. 00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:12.559 Um, so it it's given me such a such a love and thankfulness for my heavenly father in trying to be a mom that points my kids to Jesus. 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:14.960 That's me as well. 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:22.960 The high, um, of course, the high of my parenting was seeing both of my children come to the Lord and be baptized. 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:30.240 But it was also um, especially for Jonah when we realized that he he wanted to go into the ministry. 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:37.039 Um I I I mean, I remember the first time he ever spoke, it was after camp. 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:40.639 He had gone to camp and they asked him to talk to the kids about camp. 00:15:40.720 --> 00:15:43.200 And he, I think it was in like the eighth grade. 00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:46.320 And he just spoke about his experience at camp. 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:50.000 And I remember Chantelle and I looked at each other and we were like, hmm. 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:57.440 Because it was just, it was like it, I was at that moment I thought he may have a ministry in his future. 00:15:57.840 --> 00:16:08.799 And but just to see um that evolve in him, it's also scary because I do know, like you said, there's an enemy there, and I know he wants to destroy. 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:16.879 Um, and you know, with with all your kids, that's what you fear the most is you know the enemy coming in. 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:27.039 Well, I think, you know, we talk about putting on the armor of God and how we do that, you know, for ourselves, you know, every every day, you know, and every day we get up and we put our armor on. 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:33.759 Um, and I and I don't know all of you that well, but I feel like you would put your armor on and go to battle with your kids. 00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:41.600 And I think that that's you know, we're the army that surrounds our children and how we we go to we go to war. 00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:47.279 We would go to war for them and fight against whatever enemy they're going through. 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:56.320 But I think it's I think it's also good for our kids to know that, you know, we have been, you know, we have our own war and we have our own struggles. 00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:08.240 And, you know, I always try to tend to be open with my kids and and saying, you know, obviously not everything, but you know, these are some things that I'm struggling, this is what I'm struggling with, and I need your help. 00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:14.079 You know, I'm mom's having a really bad day today, and um, you know, and I need, you know, I need your help. 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:27.759 And I think that our kids learn that comp they learn compassion and they learn that, you know, while they're my parents, they're still human and they, you know, they have struggles themselves, and we're not gonna, you know, while we want our kids to think we're perfect, we're not. 00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:37.519 And I think when our kids can see us when we're broken, I think that that helps them better understand, you know, the love that God has for us, that we're all broken. 00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.359 Um, it's not just it's not just our kids, it's we're broken too. 00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:42.160 Right. 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:43.279 For sure. 00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:48.559 Our kids imitate so much of what we do, of what they see in the home. 00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:54.000 You know, um, I keep thinking about prayer, like that's one thing my mom taught me. 00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:55.680 Just pray about it. 00:17:56.079 --> 00:18:10.960 Like I I really I've always believed that God, there's something special about the prayers of a mama going before the Lord, praying for their kids, and you know, I know He delights in that um as we go for each other on behalf of our kids. 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:19.680 But um and something on that note that I grew up with and I've tried to practice myself is praying with them out loud and for them. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:20.079 Yes. 00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:26.240 To just put your hand on them when when they're struggling with something, or even if they they don't really want you to pray for them. 00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:27.279 Let me pray for you. 00:18:27.519 --> 00:18:31.359 Put your hand on them and pray out loud with them or for them. 00:18:31.599 --> 00:18:35.200 Um, and one of those big blessings that comes back is when they do it with you. 00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:37.759 I'm like, oh, that works my face. 00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:55.519 Well, and I think that speaks to um, Katie, what you're saying about when we talked about surrounding ourselves with, you know, women, you know, that could help support us, and but will pray for us and and and genuinely pray for our kids because the burden's heavy. 00:18:55.839 --> 00:19:00.000 I mean, parenting, you know, and being a mama is is a heavy, heavy burden. 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:09.759 And when you surround yourself with those women that'll pray not just for you because they kind of understand as a mother what you're going through, but also will get on their knees and pray for your children too. 00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:26.079 And to have those women around you where you can say, This is what the burden is, and and like really genuinely be open with them and not afraid of the judgment or what might what they might have to say about you, or you weren't the best parent. 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:33.119 This is why your child does this or that, but really set to to get on their knees and you can't get that on Instagram. 00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:38.400 No, you cannot get that on any social media, an actual community, an actual community. 00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:44.480 I I can say I have people on speed text and I'll say I'll say the child's name and I'll say go to battle. 00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:46.240 And sometimes I don't even say what it's about. 00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:47.920 And they're like, got it, got it, got it. 00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:52.160 And they'll start, you know, uh texting me scriptures, they're praying over my children. 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:53.519 And I do the same thing with them. 00:19:54.319 --> 00:20:12.000 Um and I think if I could just say speak into one more thing about that, because uh a godly woman in my life said something one time about you know, Doc just saying, Oh, well, I'll pray for you, you know, or I'll pray for you know Jonah today, or I'll pray for that trip or whatever it might be, but actually doing that. 00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:12.480 Right, yeah. 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:16.000 So when you say you're gonna do it, you actually have to do that. 00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:27.759 And your your friends, your your godly community should be the ones doing that for you and and not just saying they're gonna do that because um because the prayers do make a difference, they really do. 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:28.559 Yeah, yeah. 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:33.839 I know one thing I'm walking in currently is realizing that I really can't do it all. 00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:35.359 Really? 00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:36.960 That's a really hard thing. 00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:39.200 That that I've been humbled a lot lately. 00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:40.880 Um asking for help. 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:41.279 Yep. 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:46.559 Um, you know, I really can't cook a full course meal every night. 00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:47.759 I really can't. 00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:48.799 And that is okay. 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:50.079 And it's okay. 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:51.359 Yes, it's okay. 00:20:51.920 --> 00:21:03.920 I think as moms, we feel the pressure of the perfect world, the perfect Instagram, the perfect that I should be able to take my kids to all the sports and have clean clothes, perfect. 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:07.279 And and there's not a perfect, and it's okay. 00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:10.400 Yeah, um, perfect that steals presence from you. 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:10.720 Yes. 00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:22.000 Like, you know, to me, the most important thing about influencing your children's lives and being a parent is to be present, like not physically present, but be present with them. 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:27.519 And when we're so distracted by those things, I mean some of us, you know, I enjoy cooking. 00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:33.359 So I I did cook a lot of times for, but that didn't mean that you couldn't eat off my floor because breakfast was in the corner. 00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:40.640 So I I might have been a great, you know, good at that, but maybe not so good at some of the other things. 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:43.680 But um, and so you've got to find your thing that God's called you to. 00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:49.200 But um when we're when we're really present, uh our kids notice that. 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:51.759 They know when you really want to be there and when you don't. 00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:55.759 Well, once again, one of the comments I got was Mom, you're really not a good cook. 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.119 But I r but they enjoy yeah, I'm not. 00:21:59.359 --> 00:22:21.519 Um But they enjoy when I sit down I make a point it when we're eating from Zach's Beezer Chick-fil-A Um to to sit down and talk with them eye to eye, make sure that we have that that present conversation and it's been neat to see uh an expectation of I'm gonna I'm sitting there, are you eating with me? 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:21.839 Right. 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:22.559 You know, right. 00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:27.839 Because our schedules get so crazy and right and um it does get harder as they get older. 00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:36.720 It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a different thing that you have to fight for more time to have a eye to eye or just a right there beside each other conversation. 00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:38.480 For sure. 00:22:38.880 --> 00:23:07.359 Part of that being present too, I think, is just not always not always wishing away whatever you have, you know, like oh, I can't wait till they're out of diapers or they can feed themselves, or I can't wait until I don't have to crate them to all these sports practices anymore, and they're driving, and then you realize, oh, I don't have conversation time with that child anymore driving in the car, I can't wait until they, I can't wait until they, and we end up then, you know, missing it, missing sure. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:08.880 Yeah, yeah, not living in that. 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:18.240 So as we wrap up, we all have amazing spouses that that love our families well, that that love us well. 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:22.720 But if you could challenge the men in the room, here's your chance, right? 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:23.680 Woo! 00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:26.480 We've got a chance, we have control right now. 00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:52.720 What would you tell the men, the dads, even you know, families that are divorced and they're going through how if you could challenge a father, a man with one thing of leading your family, of loving your kids, of something that they may not know they that you wish they did, as you parent and mother, what would that be? 00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:53.920 And we'll just kind of go around. 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:54.319 Okay. 00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:59.759 Um, I would say don't ask, do anything. 00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:20.720 Um, because when you're in the day-to-day grind, when you're in the heavy scheduling, when you're in the trying to cook dinner and do baths and do homework and do dishes, that you know, having someone come in and say, either A, come in and not say anything at all, or B, come in and say, How can I help you? 00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:27.119 Well, that's just one more thing that I have to think of, or it's you know, an expectation that I have to set, or just do anything. 00:24:27.279 --> 00:24:28.079 It doesn't matter. 00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:30.079 It could be something really super simple. 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:33.279 It can be, I mean, it can be anything, just do anything. 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:35.119 Just don't ask, just help. 00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:36.160 Just do something. 00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:37.519 Just do something. 00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:48.480 Um, I think it would be more um the spiritual side because I do feel like in a lot of families it falls on the woman to to handle that part. 00:24:48.799 --> 00:25:00.000 Um, I would think to just be, you know, more aggressive and leading the family and you know, reading the Bible, being a good example in that as well. 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:02.079 Can I piggyback on what you just said? 00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:07.440 Because I really probably should have said something like very spiritual, but I went right to the necessity of the next thing. 00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:14.319 Yeah, because there are seven kids in my house, and and everybody needs to help out in some way. 00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:25.039 But I think um, you know, we've talked about how we as women really need to surround ourselves with community, and I just can't say it strongly enough that our men need to do that also. 00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:37.839 Yes, they need they need those people that they can text and say, go to go to battle for, or I need you to pray this for me, or I need you to have coffee every week, you know, or something like that. 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:50.799 They need those people and they're they're busy too, they're trying to provide, they've got jobs, they have to travel, whatever the case might be, and they don't gen, they don't generally think that they have the time to do that, and they have to make the time just like we do. 00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:53.920 It's important for sure. 00:25:54.160 --> 00:26:06.240 Um, without sounding kind of self-serving, I think one of the things that my husband did really well in our marriage that I think, or in raising our family, was that he never spoke unkindly about me in front of our children. 00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:08.799 You know, I'm sure he had some things to say. 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:14.799 You can poll him afterwards, but um, but he never aired that in front of our children. 00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:17.680 And I tried really hard to do the same for him. 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:28.240 Um, and I think whether you're married, whether you're divorced, whether you, you know, were never married to your child's mom, whatever, um, that that's something you can practice because those children know that they are a part of both of you. 00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:40.640 Yeah, and there may be things that you want to say or differences that you have or disagreements that you have, but um finding those areas where you can honor or say, you know, kind of if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. 00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:41.119 Yeah, yeah. 00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:43.519 Um, but I think that really makes a big difference. 00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:51.119 Um, you know, and those things that you want to say, kids will figure some of those out on their own, sure, but they don't need your help figuring those out. 00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:51.599 Yeah. 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:55.359 Well, and kind of piggybacking off piggybacking off that. 00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:07.039 Uh Russ is, you know, when the kids are with the mom all the time and you you wind up you are arguing and you don't realize it, or there's just conversations that are, you know, you're just going. 00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:10.240 And the dad walks in and says, We don't talk to mom that way. 00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:10.640 Yeah. 00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:14.400 You know, he's been good about that sometimes of hey, watch your tone. 00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:15.200 That's your mom. 00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:15.680 Yeah. 00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:22.000 Um, which normally I would, but sometimes you you don't realize the you're with them all the time. 00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:22.319 Yeah. 00:27:22.559 --> 00:27:26.720 And so sometimes you don't recognize the tone, and so I've I've been appreciative of that. 00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:29.200 And I want to tangent a sec. 00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:34.400 One of my some of the heroes I have are single moms. 00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:36.079 I didn't even know that about your mother. 00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:36.960 That's incredible. 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:39.279 Yeah, that that was her circumstance. 00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:47.759 But uh, there are several ladies here in this church that I just adore that who's whose husbands have said, I'm done, and or they're gone, and they were doing a great job. 00:27:48.079 --> 00:28:01.680 And um, I know this is a little, I'm pulling from the air here a little bit from your question, but I would love to see men when they see the sons of those moms say, Hey, your mom's doing a great job. 00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:05.759 Yeah, you need to, you need to really encourage her, give her a pat on the back or something. 00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:18.000 I feel like that would be a great ministry to the moms that are working so hard, and um, and they don't have that second voice to say, Hey, you don't talk to your mom that way. 00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:21.200 Um, so that it's just support. 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:32.960 Anyway, like I said, I know this little bit of a tangent, but I just want I really want to give a shout out to the single moms for whatever reason that that they're single, whether it's the death of the spouse or the the departure of the spouse. 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.559 That's that's hard. 00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:48.000 Yeah, no, I think those are all good because at the end of the day we we need our spouses, we need the men in our life to step in to have what God has called them to do, to be intentional with their families. 00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:55.359 And um, we look to them to lead us to Jesus when we're we're weak because we know we all don't have it together. 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:58.720 We're all just seeking Jesus, thankful for grace. 00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:01.920 Um, so thank you so much for sharing with us. 00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:10.000 We appreciate what you do in the life of your families, we appreciate the impact you have on our church family, and moms, you're doing an awesome job. 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.799 Dads, we love you too. 00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:15.680 But you heard it from the panel. 00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:19.119 So that's your challenge, and again, happy Mother's Day to all of you. 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:19.920 Thank you.