Thank you all for being here today. It means so much. I'm so thankful that all of you came here. I'm pretty convinced that it's just gonna be me and Brandon at 11. But but that's okay. That's okay. Um my name is Russ. I'm one of the pastors here. I want to say welcome. Welcome to Church of the Grove. Welcome home. Uh all of you that this is your church home, those of you that might be uh visiting with us, guests with us, maybe maybe uh coming out of curiosity. Um we're so glad that you're here with us in this special time. I I couldn't I can't help but think about um just the even the conversations I've had in the last couple of days with with some of the people that started with us a little over 20 years ago. Is there any anybody that's that was on that launch team when we first started Church at the Grove? If you if you're in here, would you stand up?

Launch team.

Launch team. Yeah, everybody that was at the first service, you were at the first service. There's there's there's about five, let's see, six, seven, eight. By the way, Craig and Amy's story. Craig told me not to call his name out, so I have not I'm not going to, but so thankful for them. But thank you. Thank you for the investment. You this team. And all the way all the way to the present day, there's people that deserve a thank you. Um Russ Greer just sat down over here by his wife, Ashley. He's the newest member of our staff, but I can tell you that we would not be in this building today if it wasn't for Russ and his work the past uh two months. And Brandon, uh Brandon's leadership and our worship team and the tech people, they've been, I know there's been multiple nights that Brandon has been up here till like 5 a.m. in the morning, um, which is pretty much his natural clock. Um anyway, he's he starts, I think, living up, livening up at about 10 p.m. uh in the evening. Um anyway, so so thankful. Uh we're we're in a we're in a teaching series uh called Rules of Engagement, and today is part two. This week is part two. We began the the series last week, and and the the whole idea is built around this idea of how do we take our faith and put it into action. And here's here's what I've learned about myself. Maybe it's true about you, is that we're good at believing. We're good at believing things, we're good at we're we're good at telling one another. I'm good at telling people what I believe. I can I could even formulate at times an argument that that might convince somebody of something, but but I struggle sometimes taking belief and turning it into behavior. And so it's one thing to believe something, it's another thing to live it out. And so we might be correct in what we believe, what our doctrine is, what we think about the Bible, what we believe about the Bible, but moving from belief to behavior has its own challenges. And so this week, as we are in this series, Rules of Engagement, we're looking at how the gospel of Jesus, the gospel of Jesus, that we just we just witnessed two individuals who took steps, actual steps of obedience, showing behavior, outward behavior, that is reflecting what happened in their life, which is their heart has been transformed by the gospel. We're looking at the gospel, how our hearts are changed. Last week we looked at the reality of how our identity in Jesus changes. We're new creations. Paul calls us new creations. Anyone who's in Christ is a new creation. The old has passed, the new has come. And so, but if we're going to be talking about completing our faith, finishing our faith, living out our faith, then we've got to understand there is a new set of expectations on how we measure our behavior and our life. And so this invitation into this new life, it presents some new rules of engagement for every area of our life, but especially how we relate to and manage the relationships that we have with others in our life. Relationships are a key part of who we are and the fabric of our lives, our family, our friends, our colleagues at work, and many other circles, whether it's athletics or music or some type of hobby. Sometimes how these relationships play out are based on the habits or the patterns that we've picked up, our family of origin, what we were born into, how we've been raised. And some of those are intentional and unintentional. What does this look like? What are some of these unintentional patterns? When conflict comes, for example, it feels like competition. When we disagree, it immediately turns to, I want to win, and I want this person to lose the conversation. We raise our voices, we bring up old stuff from the past. We're trying to, in our attempts to prove ourselves right, prove somebody else wrong. We keep score. Relationships are about keeping score and make sure we measure up. We all have expectations. And without communicating expectations, when something bothers us, we don't say anything and we just retreat, we pull back. We turn on the passive-aggressive actions and responses. We grow emotionally distant. We're afraid to engage into something that seems difficult. We're quick to leave when things get hard. When things get hard, we just want to leave. We want to get out of that relationship. A friendship goes sour. So we just stop reaching out. We stop calling. We ghost one another. It's what happens when things happen at church. Something goes wrong at church. Rather than work it out, we just decide that, hey, that's so uncomfortable. I'm going to go start, I'm going to go somewhere else and start over. We take everything personally. Feedback is always an attack, and it spirals to insecurity. We assume motives without asking questions. See, each of these ideas, these moments that we're talking about are opportunities for our flesh, our humanity, to surrender to Jesus. See, hard things, hard relationships, the difficulty of those relationships, those are opportunities. God puts us in places where we're going to sometimes rub each other the wrong way, but those times are not times for us to shrink back. Sometimes it's for us to lean in and let's deal with it in a way that is redemptive. Oftentimes for me, it feels like the decision just happens on autopilot, and I feel powerless in my reaction in the flesh. And then what does that happen? What happens after that? I've got to learn to turn and repent. We're not hopeless. We can change our defaults through Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, working in our life. We're never going to be perfect in this fallen state, in this world that we're in. But we can change. And when we do fail, we can turn back and trust that Jesus is going to forgive us and bless us. So how do we do that? How do we do it? That's what we're going to talk about over the next five weeks. But before we talk about how we do or what we do in relationships, we've got to talk about how to show up in relationships. There are baseline postures that followers of Jesus must have if we're going to engage in relationships in a way that honor and glorify Jesus. In a way that is attractive to other people, to want to be a part of what's happening in the life of our family and our church. Before we get to these specific actions that we'll take in relationships, we need to consider what it means to have a heart postured in such a way that we change. See, before we talk about doing, we need to think about our posture. The posture of humility, the posture of gentleness, the posture of patience, the posture of bearing with one another. And listen, if we break this rule, nothing else works. There's this beautiful, powerful shift that happens when you move from belief to behavior. And in the first three chapters, what I talked about last week, as we looked at Ephesians chapter 2 specifically, but in the book of Ephesians, Paul lays out in the first three chapters what happens when we turn our put our faith in Jesus. We realize we're dead in Christ that we said last week, but God, rich in mercy, has now made us alive in Christ. And in verse 10, he says, You are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works that He has prepared before for you to live out. And so Paul lays this foundation of the first three chapters about who we are, our new identity in Christ. He said, You have gone from being an orphan to now you've become adopted. You've been chosen, you've been redeemed, you've been sealed by the Holy Spirit. But when we get to chapter 4, the tone changes. Paul changes things in Ephesians chapter 4, and he says, Listen, therefore, based on what I've said in the past three chapters, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling. What does he mean when he says walk? He's talking about how you live your life. That word walk is a metaphor for how we live, how we go about life, how we interact with people at work, how we interact with people at school, how we interact with people that are our neighbors, how we interact with people in our church family, in our community group, in ministries that we serve in. And Paul says this is where the rubber meets the road. And in other words, in Christ we have a new identity, and that new identity produces a new posture. And the new posture that we'll focus on this morning is the posture of humility. The posture of humility. And here's the key: a worthy walk doesn't start with giftedness. It doesn't start with just the competence that we all have. It starts with humility. It starts with a posture. This is not about a new skill. It's not about growing competent at something. Before we can do, we must change our posture. That's what Paul starts with here. And if you want to walk away with just one idea, one takeaway, one bottom line, it's this that humility is the pathway to unity. Now, Paul's going to talk about unity here. Humility is the pathway to unity and the proof of a life worthy of the calling. In other words, no humility, no unity. No humility, no unity. One of the things that was impressed upon me 21, 22 years ago, as a key ingredient for a church is a church needs to be unified. And it doesn't mean that everybody's going to agree on every detail and how we do church, even our doctrine and our beliefs. But listen, we can be unified in mission. We can be unified in the fact that we're going in the same direction. And unity is important. Unity does not mean complete 100% agreement. It means in spite of maybe some areas where we don't agree, we're going to be unified in this one mission. And you know what that mission is? That mission is Jesus. Jesus. Can we just say Jesus together? Yes, that's what he's saying. Paul's saying, listen, it's a it's a it's a posture of humility. Here's what let me let me read the whole six verses. Ephesians 4, 1 through 6. Here's what Paul says. He says this, therefore, I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk in worthy of the calling that you have received with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope at your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God, Father in all, who is above all, through all and in all. Amen. Listen, there's three things I'd like to emphasize out of this passage that all come back to humility. And the first building block, I think, of this posture is this there's a call to a humble walk. It's a call to a humble walk. In verses 1 and the first part of verse 2, he says this. He says, therefore, what is Paul saying? Therefore, he's saying, he's linking what he's about to teach us, what he's about to share with us, he's linking it back to the previous three chapters. You were dead, but God has made you alive. Therefore, therefore, I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling that you have received with all humility and gentleness with patience. I prisoner. I think Paul is possibly speaking about the fact that he's writing this letter from a prison cell, or he could be kind of throwing a little slap at the Roman Empire by saying, I am not your prisoner, I am the Lord's prisoner. I, a prisoner of the Lord, in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling that you have received with what? With all humility, gentleness, with patience. Paul doesn't ease into this. He just starts with humility. What is humility? What is humility? Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. That's an easy definition of humility. Humility is having a proper biblical understanding of who we are in relationship to our Heavenly Father. It does not mean that we do not have value. It doesn't mean that we're weak. What it means is that we understand that there is a God and I'm not Him. And so in the world that Paul lived in, humility probably would have been considered weakness. But in the kingdom of God, humility is strength under control. Jesus says this in Matthew 11, 29. He says, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. I love that verse. And what Jesus says, he says, I'm I'm gentle and lowly. Gentle and lowly. I'm humble in heart. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords describes himself as one who is humble. Come to me. I love this quote from Ralph Waller Emerson. It's not in the notes or on the screen, but here's what uh what he says. He says, A great man is always willing to be little. A great man is always willing to be little. See, what what is the what is the opposite of humility? Who said pride? Pride. That's exactly. Pride puts yourself on one side and and and pushes everybody else down. Pride puts you up on a pedestal and everyone puts you down. Humility lowers yourself so you can lift others up. Humility is connected to other characteristics that are mentioned in this passage that Paul talks about. Humility is connected to gentleness. He said, gentleness is one of those characteristics that the Holy Spirit provides. Gentleness is not weakness, it is strength under control. The same as what it means to be meek. He says patience is another part of that posture that coincides with humility. Patience is the ability to endure people without frustration. I mean, I I had, I just I have to repent right now. That is not come natural to me. But here's what I've learned. We love talking theoretically about these things. These are great theoretical conversations. But they're not meant to be three theoretical. Because they're not. They show up. Your traits that you have, they show up. They show up in traffic. They show up at a sporting event. They show up at home. They show up at church. They show up at work. And so taking what is theoretical and beginning to understand how it shows up. There's a to my knowledge, we don't have a bumper sticker or a or a magnet that has Church of the Grove on it. It's been a great thing to hand out today, right? I decided a long time ago I will never put one of those on my car. Because I want people to come to my church. And listen, my intentions are always good. It's my driving habits that fail me. And so we we have to take what is theoretical and understand that these traits, or some traits, if not these, show up. So humility begins in the heart, but it's not meant to stay in the heart. Humility is the first building block of that character that turns us into the character of Jesus. It's a call to a humble walk. It's a call to lower ourselves. And understand humility is lowering ourselves and making sure everybody else has what they need in order to live their life to the fullest. So that first building block is the call to a humble walk. The second building block is this it's the practice of humility in relationships. And now this is where the rubber meets the road. It's where we practice humility in relationships. Verse, verse, second part of verse 2, he says, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. So what is Paul saying here? He's in bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit. This is where it gets real. Humility is proven in relationships. Humility is proven in relationships, especially the difficult ones. Listen, if our faith as Jesus followers was meant to be lived out with people that were just easy to get along with, we all would be in a very, very small little faith community. He's called us to relationships where we bear with one another in love. It's where humility is proven. Bearing with one another. It means putting up with people's weaknesses, their quirks, and imperfections. Now let's be honest. That's where we struggle. If everybody would act just like me, we would all get along so well. Isn't that the way the way we think? We all love the idea of unity until we meet people who think differently, act differently, or just simply annoy us. And you're laughing, but it's true. See, see, God has gifted us. One another. And you on one side are like a piece of sandpaper, and I on the other side is like another piece of sandpaper. And when we come together, we might rub each other the wrong way. But let me tell you, God's perfect plan is for us to do life with people that might rub us the wrong way. Because when we get rubbed the wrong way, you know what comes out? Whatever's inside of us is what comes out. And we hope that it's the fruit of the Spirit. That's what we, that's our desire. That's what, that's where we're going with this. We're gonna, we want to see the fruit of the Spirit. The love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We want to see those things come out. But sometimes when we get rubbed the wrong way, that's not what comes out. And I've been with you, some of you, in your cars, I've been with you in traffic, I've been with you at ball games, I've been with you at potlucks. I've watched how you eat food. See, we're we we rub against each other, and there's this beautiful thing where God uses people who might be difficult towards one another to refine us and to smooth us out and to bring out those areas where we struggle, where there is not humility, there is not patience, there is not gentleness, and it reveals the areas that we need to grow the most in. See, relationships have the power to do that. Came across this story from a friend, Gene Stallings. He was the former head coach at Alabama, he was an assistant coach under Bear Bryant back in the day. And if you're not a football fan and you don't know who Bear Bryant or Gene Stallings is, bear with me, okay? Um Gene Stallings was a believer in Jesus Christ. And he brought this campus organization onto the field there at Alabama. That organization was called the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. And this is back in probably the 60s, 70s. And so Bryant, Stallings was the first ascensant to come to one of the Fellowship of Christian Athletics meetings, and he began to bring it to the players, and Bryant was somewhat bewildered, Bear Bryant. After Stallings had taken the head coaching position at the Texas AM, he received a call from Bryant, said this, Stallings, you know what is the worst thing that has happened to our football team? It's that FCA. He said, those players are doing nothing but hugging one another, loving on one another, and they won't hit anybody. Bryant left Stallings to ponder those assorted bare facts. After the season, which turned out out to be one of the best that Bryant ever had at Alabama, Bear Bryant called Stallings again. Stallings, you know what you did that was the best thing you ever did? Is you brought those FCA guys out onto our field. He said, it changed our team. It's brought such oneness and closeness to our team. We were unified because of the influence it had on our squad. And I'm so thankful for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I am thankful for NG3. I am thankful for the campus ministries that are represented out of our church. And because of your generosity, we support ministry that makes things like this happen on a ball field. And so you go from Bear Bryant, who's who can't, he doesn't want FCA around because all these players are loving each other, hugging each other. Well, man, after a successful season, we sure are thankful for all that hugging and loving and unity. See, unity is something that is maintained, it's not something that's manufactured. Paul says, eager to maintain. What does that mean? It means to keep the unity. See, we don't create unity. God has already created unity. He has already unified us in Christ Jesus. Our job in the church is to protect the unity. And here's the truth. Pride disrupts unity. Humility preserves unity. Pride disrupts unity. Humility preserves unity. But Paul doesn't just stop with behavior. He goes down to something deeper. This third building block is this the foundation of humility is our shared identity in Christ. It's our shared identity. Here's what he says in verses four through six. He said, There is one body, one spirit. Just as you were called to one hope at your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God, Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all. He lists seven ones. Paul lists these seven ones. Why? He said, because humility grows when we remember not what we differ in, but what we share together in identity. We have all of these things in common. All of these ones, one body, one spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God, one Father. All of these things. When you realize this, when we understand this, when we come to the place that we can surrender to this, it's the same Spirit that lives in you and all of us together. It's the Spirit of God. It's the same Savior that died for every one of us. Jesus died for each one of us. We are united in those things. Same Spirit. Same Jesus. The same Father adopted us. And so when we understand that it's about the Spirit of God and working in us, it's about the Heavenly Father. It's about our identity in Jesus. And when I keep listing all of these things, I seem to get smaller and smaller, and it becomes less and less about me. Because we're unified in these things. They keep us focused. It's harder and harder to elevate yourselves when you buy in to these seven ones. You know what this idea of humility and unity is about? It's like a family sitting around a table having dinner. It makes me think of the year that we had all of our kids came home for one summer. You remember that horrendous year? No, no, I didn't mean to put those together. That was a wonderful aspect of that year. That was a COVID year. We want to forget that year. But let me let me tell you something. All of my kids came home and spent 12 weeks at home. Now, it was fun for a while. Until it wasn't. And then once we realized that, hey, we're together in this, there's nowhere to go. When we really sat in that and realized that, man, we we had the best time. Now, families are families. Right? We all look back maybe with some of those fond memories, but I would imagine during those 12 weeks, you probably were ready to get out and away from your kids. Get away from each other. But just like family, the church, we're called to be unified. And there's gonna be times where we rub each other the wrong way. There's gonna be times where we feel like we need some space. But let me tell you, it doesn't mean we give up. It means we press forward. As a matter of fact, today, I just pondering today, I didn't know if I could get up here and preach without just crying like a baby. But you know what? God has already just instilled in me, this is simply one step forward to what God's called us to do. This isn't we we haven't crossed the finish line. We're simply, listen, we're simply have have made the first turn in the race. And God has called us, and just like a family sits around a table, they're gonna argue, they're gonna, they're gonna might rub each other the wrong way, we are a family sitting at the table of the Lord, and He's called us to focus on the things that we identify together with, not the differences that we all have in our personalities. Now, what does that mean? What does that mean? How does that how does that how does that how is that lived out? How does that live out? Can I give you just three real practical applications? And here's something I've learned. The problem is that is that we have a million dollar salvation and then we have a five cent response. And so practical application number one is this choose listening over winning. Choose listening over winning. In conversations where things might get a little tenuous, and I know y'all never have those conversations. I know you probably never get on social media. You never think about sharing your convictions about politics or about the things that people disagree on. I know that's not you, but if it was, ask ourselves this: Am I trying to understand or am I just trying to win? I can be right or I can make a difference. See, we can all be be right, but or we can make a difference. I mean, Andy Stanley said that if we can be right or we can make a difference. In our relationships, we need to ask the question Am I trying to be right? Am I trying to win? Or am I looking to make a difference? How about lett other people finish their thoughts before you start formulating yours? And I'm not looking at my wife when I say that. Ask, listen, this is just a habit or practice, and I have I've had to learn this. I because I want to fix things. That's why I'm not a good counselor. My my most common response in counseling is stop. Don't do that anymore. But I I I want to fix things, and so I I have to stop and I you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna ask two or three questions before I share my part of the conversation. Ask questions. Humility listens, pride interrupts. I sure am trying to avoid looking at my wife a lot right now. Number two, the second application is this respond with grace, not reaction. When tension rises, humility pauses. Take a breath before you respond. How about this? Assume the best and not the worst. Humility de-escalates conflict. And then finally, that last application is this serve without seeking recognition. Serve without seeking recognition. See, pride wants applause. Humility is content with obedience. I learned this from one of my mentors that especially for those of us that are in serving in leadership roles where we speak to people on a regular basis, we I know for me, I need to be able to have a few things that I do that are responsible things that I do that nobody knows about. And and because I know that I can be performance-driven, and I need to be able to serve in some things that that I should never believe that are below me. And I need to serve in those areas where I know somebody's not gonna see me because I listen, I love affirmation. It's my natural, it's one of my love languages. Serve without seeking recognition. Do something kind that no one sees, give credit to others. No humility, no unity. And if we're honest, pride is our default setting. But here's the good news. Here's the good news. Jesus promises to guide us. Matter of fact, he is the model for humility. As our team comes to close his time, our time in worship together, I want to read this passage about Jesus that Paul gives us out of the book of Philippians. And it basically tells us this that Jesus is the perfect example of humility. He left heaven, he took on flesh, he served others, he died on a cross. Here's what Paul says about then. If then there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, and if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not on to his own interest, but rather to the interest of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead, he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, by taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself. What does it say? He what humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason, God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God, our Father. So Jesus gives us the perfect example. And Jesus invites us, consider, maybe examining where does pride show up in my life? Does it show up at home? Does it show up at work? Does it show, does it show up in church? Does it does it show up in in your team or your hobby? Does it show up in conversations? Where is God calling me to walk in humility? What is the one thing that I need to do that no one else should know about? So I won't get any credit. Here's what he calls us to do. He calls us to turn from pride, to walk away from pride. Knowing that pride does not represent the kingdom of God. And it's to trust in Jesus, to repent and believe the good news. And then it's to begin this new walk, this new journey. Along with Paul, we can say, I, I, as a prisoner of the Lord, am going to walk humbly in the likeness of Jesus. So would you bow your heads for a second? And as your heads are bowed, we're going to spend our just a moment in prayer this morning. And I know for some of you, the response that we can't deny, can't just overlook, is the potential that some of you might need to respond to Jesus for the first time and to say, Yes, Jesus, I receive your gift of eternal life. I repent and I believe. I trust. If that's you this morning, there's no magical prayer, but you might say something like this to the Lord, dear God, I know I'm a sinner. I fall short, but I now know that I can trust you to forgive me of my sins and come and live inside of me and save me. And the Bible says that if you put your faith in Jesus, you repent and you believe, He gives you new life. He gives you eternal life. For others of you this morning, it might mean that you need a refreshing, you need a new start, you need someone to hold you accountable, and maybe that someone can be found inside of a church family. So maybe for some of you, today needs to turn into a practice or a habit where you come back next week and the next week, knowing that in those processes of us together, unified under the teaching of the Holy Spirit, God will grow us, God will cultivate us in us humility and gentleness and patience and forbearance. Maybe this morning you need just a touch of the Lord. And you need maybe you would love for somebody to pray with you. So I'm gonna ask for a couple of our staff and and and a few of our leaders, elders, if they would come to the front. We haven't really had room for this before. If they would come to the front and make themselves available as our team closes this time out, and we reflect on the goodness of who Jesus is. Maybe this is a morning for you to come and ask for one of us just to pray with you, pray over you, encourage you in the Lord. Maybe this is a time for you to go encourage somebody else in this room or lay hands on somebody and pray for them. You know they need it. Father, would you work? God, as we lift you up, as we honor you this morning. God, we thank you for everything that is new. But God, most importantly, we thank you for new life in Jesus Christ. May that be what we're about this morning. May that be what we're about over the next 20 years. Father, I pray for those that need Jesus, that need to put their faith in Jesus, that they would they would do so. Let somebody know. Father, and I pray that you would work in us. And maybe our first step toward humility is a step toward asking someone to pray for us. Father, we love you. We thank you. So in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Would you stay with us? And as you feel led, would you come? We'd love to pray with you.