SPEAKER_00

Hello there. I'm William Shatner, Bill. And a while ago I had stage four melanoma cancer. I went to the doctor when I saw this lump, and my doctor said, Oh, it's a salivary gland. Just keep massaging it. I massaged it for a month and it got bigger. I was riding horses, and a friend of mine, who's also a doctor, was riding horses as well. And I said, take a look at this. And he came there and put his doctor's hands, kind, loving fingers there. Felt it, and then he said, and this is the tone he used, he better have that taken out. So I had it out. And it was a stage four melanoma. Coincidentally, incredibly, at the same time, my daughter Melanie had stage four breast cancer. Here's her story.

SPEAKER_02

In 2022, I was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, and it was the nightmare. But I went through the journey, thanks to you, Dad. In large part, you were incredible. And going through that and coming through that, I now know that cancer has given me more gifts than I could possibly ever have imagined. What seemed like, just like you said, was the time to die, has become no time to die. And there's nobody I'd rather be on this journey with than you.

SPEAKER_00

And the adventure is what we're calling no time but now. Melanie, the fateful coincidence of us both having deadly cancer, stage four together is remarkable.

SPEAKER_02

Unthinkable, really.

SPEAKER_00

Unthinkable. That we were both gonna die at the same time.

SPEAKER_02

I kept thinking, I can't, I won't be able to take it. Like I'm too weak for you to die on me while I'm in this state. You cannot do this. Like you cannot go right now.

SPEAKER_00

But I had a bizarre experience because I thought, okay, so I got cancer and they'll cure it. It never dawned on me that I would become this emaciated, helpless person in a bed, weakly holding up their hand and saying goodbye. My whole life I blundered through bad things, good things that just like like of course there's going to be a parking spot for me near the restaurant we're going to. Not all the times, but beyond frequently, fortune favors me. Not always, but enough so that I think the universe is taking care of me in a way that terrible things that happen to me turn out to be beneficial. Not unlike what you just said about your journey into facing death gave you so many gifts. Talk to me about that.

SPEAKER_02

Well, to tell you really to start to start with the story, I would have to go back a little bit and say something you already know, but I think it helps to give context that I was always the most scared child. Truly, the monsters under the bed were always there to get me. I used to swim in the swimming pool and think the shark was gonna come up from the bottom of the pool. I mean, it's just everything. And my healthcare decisions were always based on feeling.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I have a I have a father memory of you swimming in a pool and pointing at the drain down below. Like my is there's just something down. Yeah, I never I did until this moment, it didn't have that significance.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so I I was always thinking I was something was gonna come and get me. And I checked. I went to the doctor for my yearly checkups on the nose. I never, I mean, really, never missed a moment, took supplements, homeopathic doctor, regular doctor, checking from, you know, in every possible way, did the colonoscopies right on time, the mammograms right on time, did an ultrasound six months after the mammogram. My gynecologist wanted me to come in twice a year so that he could check my breasts because they were dense. I I I went to everything. But when the gynecologist said we should do an MRI, you should think about doing an MRI. The laws have changed while I was sick. Now they have to tell you to do an MRI. This was just a suggestion. You know, you have dense breasts, you should think about doing an MRI. But he said insurance doesn't cover it. And there's also a lot of false positives, so you just need to be prepared for that. So I was like, I said, oh, insurance doesn't cover it, I won't do it. That's what when my I said, what I was feeling was I don't want false positives. Like I don't I can't deal with finding something and then finding I'm okay. I didn't want to go through that fear. And that was a costly error on my part.

SPEAKER_00

We operate always. Our behavior is always based on emotion, you know, and so those inner feelings which you were dealing with, interestingly enough, uh, because I know your story led you into uh more positive uh uh uh territory. Why don't you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_02

So in the middle of the night, the night I found the lump, I wasn't thinking about a lump. I wasn't thinking about anything. I was sleeping, and my finger literally just went up and went right to this place right on the corner of my left breast. And it felt like a little bump. And I thought it was a bug bite. And I rolled over and went back to sleep. And then in the morning when I woke up, it felt honestly, dad, like a tapping, like a for the sake of people not thinking I'm crazy, including yourself, I would say it's an inner knowing. But truly, what I really thought it felt something outside of me. It felt angelic, it felt my mother, it felt something on the other side. Wow. Was saying, hey, hey.

SPEAKER_00

So why why why are you embarrassed or reluctant to talk? No, reluctant to say that. Um because it sounds ooga.

SPEAKER_01

Together, ooga boogie.

SPEAKER_02

I it my my story is riddled with the other side, and uh it changed my life. And it took away the fear.

SPEAKER_00

Is your story about the other side, about God and spiritual things?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I had these experiences over and over again, including in the beginning the tapping. Then then calling to Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00

The tapping. You can't leave us there. Including the tapping, and then I had an ice cream. What what what do you mean the tapping? What is all that?

SPEAKER_02

I literally was like, it was a buck bite. And then it was like a conversation. And in this moment where I thought it I'm brushing it off, it was a buck bite. It was a conversation with something saying, No, it wasn't. Go get it, check.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, so that's that's critical.

SPEAKER_02

After about four times of a back and forth, I called, I called my gynecologist who always has had time. He was booked that week. So I called the place I got a mammogram, which was always booked for six months ahead of time. They just happened to have a cancellation an hour from that from the time I called. It it was very, it felt very divine like that.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's it no, it sounds like it.

SPEAKER_02

And then I went and she checked me with her ultrasound wand and said, No, no, you're all good. And I was okay, like that that old part, which at that point was my normal part. Okay, good. I'm I'm getting out of here because I'm good. She said I was good, so that means I was good. But this other part said, have her check again. And so I said, Okay, because I came in for a bump. And she goes, Oh, put your finger on the bump. And I put my finger on the bump. She we exchanged wand for bump, you know, so that her bump her wand was right on the bump. And then she whispered to herself, Wow, I would have missed that.

SPEAKER_00

And I makes me almost cry, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Me too. Love you.

SPEAKER_00

Love you.

SPEAKER_02

And then she said, Okay, I I'm gonna biopsy this. And I was like, but you still think it's okay, right? Like I I remember doing that as she walked out because she was thinking I was fine. Why you know? And then I was waiting for her, and it was a long wait, so I laid back on the table. Ready for ogabooga?

SPEAKER_00

Go for ogaboga.

SPEAKER_02

I was laying on the table, had my eyes closed, and then all of a sudden I just felt light come in, and I felt hands under my back, and I went, Oh, you're here, God, because I'm gonna need you. This is bad.

SPEAKER_00

Remotely.

SPEAKER_02

And I knew I had cancer.

SPEAKER_00

I was even before you got the news.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I I knew I that I wouldn't have had that sensation if it was for nothing.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my goodness, man.

SPEAKER_02

And not only that, every time I went outside, I would get blown by the color of the sky. This is before I got the news I had cancer.

SPEAKER_00

You mean your awareness of around you it just shifted magnified.

SPEAKER_02

It had it had shifted, and I thought, oh, this is because I my body is going, take it in, take it in. Then a little bit later, she called and said, You've you've got cancer. It was a couple days later. Come in and talk to me. I came in.

SPEAKER_00

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. She says on the phone, you got cancer.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Whoa, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I skipped that pretty fast. And I guess that's it.

SPEAKER_00

You dropped the phone and fell down. What did you do when you she says you've got cancer?

SPEAKER_02

Which what the world went and I thought, this is my life now. And then in an out-of-body kind of way, I drove to her office. I actually, Joel was working and my Joel, your husband. My Joel, my husband, was working and on a set. So I knew I couldn't call. And I called my sister, and she would she wasn't around. So I called my friend who was at work, but she came and got me, and we drove together. And she's a lawyer, so she came with a legal pad to write notes and the whole thing, you know? And this doctor was crazy. I mean, when I tell you, there's more funny things that happen through these things when you look back in retrospect. But this doctor spoke, is limericks the right word? Like she spoke in like analogies that were so bizarre. So we don't know what type of cancer you have. It might be a Maltese, but it might be a Beagle. On the other hand, it could be a Doberman or a Rottweiler.

SPEAKER_00

I'm like, No, really?

SPEAKER_02

For about 15 minutes, it wasn't like one. You know, like she went on and on with the dog.

SPEAKER_00

How bizarre.

SPEAKER_02

And then I stopped her and I said, I don't know why I'm hearing all the things it could be. I just want to know what it is. And she said, I don't know what it is yet. And I said, Well, then stop. You're scaring me.

SPEAKER_00

Excuse me about the Doberman. I mean, my God. I can't see it.

SPEAKER_02

There was a rottweiler in the pit bull in there, too, by the way. So she stopped and she's and defensive, you know, well, some people like that, and not me. And and I left. And then it came back that the they, you know, they examined the the tumor further and it came back as a HER2 positive tumor. Then you have to go in and do a a further biopsy. So I came back in. That one, Joel came with me. And it was she what so they they this is I had a different process than you, I'm sure, where they once they find the tumor, they tag it. So that way when they when you're in surgery, they can they know exactly where it is. It gives off some beeping sound. And they she wanted to do a biopsy as well of my armpit, but she didn't tag my armpit. Uh the the lymph nodes looked really big, and so she wanted to do a biopsy of them as well, but did not tag anything, which is significant. So that came back as a stage three cancer at that point. I hadn't done a PET scan yet. And I went, I found my my oncologist, who's was Dr. John Glassby, who I will get an opportunity at some point, I hope, on this show to talk to him. But he was one of the people on the team that came that discovered the Herseptin and Progetta immunotherapy that for her too positive, if it works for you, can be considered a cure.

SPEAKER_00

The the irony is you find the doctor who discovered the cure for that particular cancer. Yeah. So he was world-renowned expert.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That is also divine.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. He gave me a list of things to do. And here's another interesting moment is when I was stepping back again to that the lymph node, when my doctor was checking the lymph nodes and doing the biopsy of the lymph node, she said, because she had checked my lymph nodes the previous week, and she said, My God, I feel like I'm seeing this grow in real time. I'll never forget those words. I didn't know what they meant. I did not ask her.

SPEAKER_00

You mean in the intervening week, your lymph nodes had gotten larger.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

And so when Dr. Glassby had given me a list of things I needed to do before starting chemo, I went into Shatner mode, which is intentional, gonna get it done. No one's gonna stop me. Like, I don't care that you're telling me this is full. I'm getting in now. No, I won't take tomorrow. I need today. Like, I just went into Good for you. It felt like it was really important to hurry.

SPEAKER_00

You took control of your health, which is part of what our story is, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

That you've got to advocate for yourself. You've got you've got to have either you or somebody that loves you to advocate, medically advocate. Wait a minute, what about this? What about that? And make the doctors pay a little bit more attention as they scurry through their rounds trying to get to everybody they need to cure.

SPEAKER_02

You know, Dad, what I what I finally came to through maybe midway through the journey is I was always so afraid to find the cancer or find cancer. But what I realize now is you want to find it. You want to find it stage zero, because then it's like, I mean, maybe a little more on the emotional Richter scale than than an inconvenience, but it's not really, at least for breast cancer. I don't know about other cancers, but for breast cancer, if you find it and you're stage zero, you're gonna get a lumbectomy and pretty much be done. Like you're done. So it's like, why wouldn't you do the MRI or whatever? I mean, and if you can't afford it, do everything you can to find it, you know?

SPEAKER_00

And well, those words of wisdom to people who uh might have cancer. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and not to be afraid to find it. You want to find it just early.

SPEAKER_00

Mel, uh th that's a lovely, a lovely story. That's really what I think this podcast is about, that cancer sharpens all your senses about how blue the sky is. That the risk of death and so many people have stated this, so just going to war, people with diseases that could be fatal. I look at death as with sadness. I don't want to leave this incredible planet that we live on. I don't want to leave the beautiful loved ones that I've spent a lifetime inculcating with me. That we're part of a family, we're part of friends, we're part of a uh a society. I mean there's great beauty to life. We've both uh had uh great pain in our lives. We know about pain, we know about loss. But when those moments are over, when you've done your grief you come back to life because life you have such a limited period of time to be conscious and you've gotta take it with both hands and you've got to relish it. You've got to live it. Life is so precious and it's so over so quickly that even though you're sick, you gotta get better. And even in your sickness you can't not turn to love, whether it's a pet, a child, your your your special one or people helping people.

SPEAKER_02

You know, Dad, I think that you you've given uh my sisters and I that that was your battle cry for us our whole lives. It was look outside, look at the sunset, look at the moon. Like you, you know, you've always had that. Um and I always tried to have it.

SPEAKER_00

When death is close, everything is sharpened. Let's pause a moment and we'll be right back. We're thrilled to have LifeWave as our presenting sponsor because, among other things, we share the same meaningful mission to help people live healthier, more vibrant lives. LifeWave products are designed to support the body's natural systems, including harnessing the role light plays in overall vitality. Our goal is to bring you ideas such as these that encourage you to feel better, to live well, and we value working with our friends at LifeWave who share the same intention. If you're curious to learn more about their innovative products, visit lifewavehealth.com. That's lifewavehealth.com. Hello, welcome back. So Melanie's told us her story. It's a spiritual uh journey that she's m made and making. I I didn't have that magical journey there. But I'm I suddenly became an old man somewhere. I don't know what happened, but the years went by and children grew up, and suddenly they're adults, and I'm wondering I hope everything's alright. I I'm growing to understand the ache for uh a rationale as to why we humans are here and why we humans have this need for explanation. Like, we can't accept the fact that it's unknown out there, that we don't know what we call God or who made the universe. I'm coming around because of my introduction to quantum and its crazy laws, uh that it's possible to think of the universe as being conscious. It's possi which fits into the God necessity.

SPEAKER_02

I was just gonna ask you, uh 'cause I know I've I've my my whole life I've thought of you as not believing in God, but believing in something, but not not God.

SPEAKER_00

I believe in the mystery, Mel.

SPEAKER_02

That I and I know that. But then I that almost like when you now when you talk about quantum and when you talk about how the universe has your back, then I think well that now we're mincing words because that's what I think of as well.

SPEAKER_00

What I'm objecting to is um what would be the word uh humanizing the incredible unknown by saying it's got robes and it has a mother and a father and a baby and a manger and it's all sort of humanized.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

So my thought is the thing, the mystery of this vast and who knows the number of universes, and where did that galaxy thirteen point eight billion years ago was light and hit my retina now? Where is it now thirteen point eight billion years later? We don't know. The mystery is so profound that to give it a a dedification is to demean it in my in my eyes. Now, a lot of people, including some members of our family, want that security of there's a God, he's got my arms, his arms are around me, he's protecting me when I die, I go to this lovely place, and it's very comforting. I find that difficult to believe. I find that the mystery, the aloneness, the It's an adventure. There's no security. It's got to be good. It's got to be It's got to be good because of the the uniqueness of what We're looking at go ahead.

SPEAKER_02

I I've had too many experiences that I what that I didn't manipulate, that I feel pretty confident that there's I don't know what is out there, but something. There was a moment during treatment when I was meditating, trying to just get calm. And I don't say this lightly that I heard a voice speaking to me. And it was an actual voice, not the tapping that was a little more obscure. And the voice, you ready?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

The voice whispered in my ear and said, I'm so sorry, but you weren't going to shift any other way. And I fully understood.

SPEAKER_00

You weren't going to shift S H-I-F-T?

SPEAKER_02

S-H-I-F.

SPEAKER_00

Oh shift your thinking from non-believing to believing something's out there.

SPEAKER_02

You weren't going to shift your life until I gave you this.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_02

And so now you're going to have to go through face things.

SPEAKER_00

You led your life with such fear that you weren't going to shift. Let me um tell you that where you got your, I don't know what the word would be, your extraordinary fear of flying. We with the family would go on an airplane, and my child would be beside me.

SPEAKER_02

Sobbing.

SPEAKER_00

And I'd be saying, You hear that? That's a shift in the motors.

SPEAKER_02

They're actually How do you know?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because I'm a pilot and I know they shift the angle of the propellers or they're pushing the throttle, or there's somebody in their ears saying, Move it's a circle. It's all organized. Nobody's gonna die in the airplane.

SPEAKER_02

I have to tell you, I have to tell you something so funny. In my recovery, I've found a lot of freedom now in flying. Not it, not all the way, but like so much better. And you know, I found a little pill that you could take that made flying a little easier when I had cancer. Cannot stand when I take that pill.

SPEAKER_00

I can't stand it and hear about it.

SPEAKER_02

So we were flying and I don't I didn't tell him, and I just kind of broke one in half. And I, you know, look over there and you know, took the pill really fast. We're flying and I'm eating everything. I'm just that it makes you hungry. But I was eating like powdered pound cake, things I don't eat, right? Like that they they offered, and Joel looks at me quiz, you know, like very skeptically and says, Did you take a pill? And I said, No, no. And then we hit turbulence, and he said, Swear to God, you on your life, did you take a pill? And I was like, Oh God, you can't ask me to swear on my life on your plane.

SPEAKER_00

Because I don't want to die. I was like, Yes, if I lie, I'm gonna die. So you said I took a pill. What was his reaction?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, so annoyed. So annoyed. We'll have to get him on here one day.

SPEAKER_00

If you can keep your sense about you, everybody has their desperations, everybody has their fears, and they deal with those fears in the best way they can. So the taking a pill is what you need to do to deal with your fears. Fears, you can't find fault with that.

SPEAKER_02

Death, are you scared to die?

SPEAKER_00

I am. I'm not I'm scared to die because it's unknown. I don't want to leave you, Mallie. And your sisters. I mean and and all the loved ones in my life. It's the end. Death is finality. Death, you know, you can be sick on a bed. Hi, I'm here and then remember when and I read this article and here's one. So my sister was three years older than I. And now she's in Montreal and she's in a coma. She's dying. There there she's in a hospice and she's the the moment's to die. And her two daughters are with her. And they called me and said, Mommy's dying, but she can't talk. I said, put the phone next to her ear and I said, Joy. And she stopped groaning. I said, Joy, you're going to see mommy and daddy, and I love you, Joy. And she apparently gave a sound that was the opposite of groaning. It was it was like, ah. And then shortly afterwards she died.

SPEAKER_02

So I remember that. And it was right it was right when you you was that right before you got sick? Right around.

SPEAKER_00

It was right around there, yeah. Yeah. So death death is all around us. Death and life, it's a cycle, it's natural, it's hard to bear, being conscious. The other animals don't know that they're going to die. We've been gifted by that knowledge, and we use it to to do our human thing, to invent, to be curious, to wonder, to explore.

SPEAKER_02

Did you at any point in and not only your illness, because I remember you had you were in you immunotherapy to cure your your your cancer.

SPEAKER_00

Two years, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And in that time you kept working and traveling, no matter how busy you were. I mean how weeks.

SPEAKER_00

You never stopped. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You never stopped. And from not being at not stopping, and it was a lot more COVID. I mean, COVID's still around, but it was a lot more prevalent. You even got COVID a couple times on these trips that you would take, which depleted you even further.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Was there a moment that you ever said, I think I'm not gonna make it?

SPEAKER_00

Several. I'd be so tired lying in bed in my house or on the road. I'd think, I wonder if I'm dying. I d I do a lot of talking to people on stage. So I was on tour, and there's a couple of guys with me, one running the show and the other looking after me, you know, uh helping me with luggage and stuff like that. Uh and I stumbled and fell on my way to the stage. No, I'm not sure. Like I faint, I fainted in one moment. And they picked me up and I said, I'm okay, and I went on stage like in a daze, sat down and held forth for an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

You can fight death for a while.

SPEAKER_02

It's like you're such a combination of life force, which is both your intention, and also it has to be some genetic there, too, yeah?

SPEAKER_00

I wish I could say, like so many people, I've got a life plan. I'm gonna go here and I'm going to Hollywood and I'm gonna make it. I just I just followed the one that taps, the thing that tapped you on the shoulder is leading me by the nose. I mean, I don't I don't have a plan. I just don't want to die. And I'm working on a heavy metal album right now, and one of the songs is I Don't Wanna Die! It's one of the heavy metal songs that uh my lyricist Rob is and I are working on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe it could be our theme song.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I don't wanna die, and yet, and yet you have to, and that's the sadness of it all. Time is running away with us, and yet there is these theories of time that time, for example, the faster you go towards the speed of light, time slows down. Now, how that is possible is like, but that's quantum. That's why the mystery of quantum. I mean, if you could go at the speed of light, you'd live forever. And maybe there are things that do.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and that's where I like I really hope through this exploration that we're gonna do on this show that you might give up the fear of it, or like that it that it is an end. That's what I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it is the end. It's the end of of something. Well, there's something. I mean, maybe there's quantum tells us there's nothing made. The the energy remains energy remains constant in the universe. So when you die, your energy goes somewhere. Maybe not the consciousness, not the oh my god, my daughter, I'll never see my daughter again. Not the consciousness, but the energy, the energy that formed you, that became the baby, that went through the birth canal that became whatever it became, and lived your tiny life your brief moment, the billions that have come before you and the billions that are coming after you. Does that mean your life is meaningless? Or is it all the same life? It's so mysterious and and worthy of exploration now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I fear the unknown. I'm looking for it in a way to the adventure, but I'm so sad to leave sushi.

unknown

I know.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god. California rolls is not sushi.

SPEAKER_02

It's my sushi. All right, Dad. Some of the things I was thinking about when when I knew you were going to be talking about your you're facing this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Was there anything that you wished that my sisters and I did differently?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_00

You know, we went through a lot of adventures and a lot of heartbreak.

SPEAKER_02

Um Musketeers.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. The three girls and me. I rented a Winnebago. A Winnebago. And we went skiing. And um the three young girls and the snowstorm and the snow blowing into the vehicle because the seams weren't tight and the skis we had to rent and the wet socks and the I want to go home and I gotta go to the bathroom. And and just the three of us and me. I mean, I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_02

And when I had kids, I I reflected on that. Like, oh my God, he took a six, nine, and twelve-year-old or a three, six, and nine-year-old by himself, up this this the ski suits, the boots, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. Can I have to go to the bathroom? Oh my god. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Another zipper. All three.

SPEAKER_00

We we had so many adventures. I wanted to here's what I remember most about the most adventure. Here's the here's something, uh, maybe an answer to your question. So I was a good skier. I skied for my school in Montreal, and I I loved skiing. And one day, not so long ago, I face planted into uh wet snow, and I couldn't get up uh because it was so sticky, and some people came and rescued me, and I thought I better not ski anymore. And I gave up skiing. But but on our adventures of taking three daughters, youngsters, skiing on the and and skiing in in the the area in Los Angeles, it's big mountains, and there the the ski runs are marked green, blue, I think, and and black. And I would ordinarily ski the black uh black trail. So it never occurred to me that my three daughters wouldn't go on the black trails with me because they could ski. Mutiny. Invariably, they would say no, Dad, and I'd ski down the trail. They took off their skis and walked down.

SPEAKER_02

It was so I love that that that image. You mean like take off our skis and right.

SPEAKER_00

So if I wish you did anything else, I wish you'd followed me down the black black diamonds. Fair enough. That's funny. Let's leave that a moment and we'll come right back. It's a pleasure being with you all. If enhancing your well-being and living life to the fullest are important to you, then you should know those goals are important to LifeWave as well. From light-infused water to unique patch technology to daily supplements. Lifewave products are focused on helping people live healthier, more vibrant lives. And we're delighted to have them as our presenting sponsor. You can learn more at LifeWavehealth.com. That's lifewavehealth.com. So, Melanie, we're back. We didn't die while we were gone. We're still here. We're still here. So what else did you want to? Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah, I have questions for you. I want you to talk more about it a little bit because we you you never really do. And what I I was thinking about you, and when you get I think when you get worried, you take yourself away a little bit. Like you hole up and you don't it's not something you think of my sisters and I should be bothered with.

SPEAKER_00

It's because I've been the only one to take care of things. And and if I get worried about my ability to care for family, I retreat and try and find a way of doing it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That's makes me sad.

SPEAKER_00

It's because I had to do it alone all my life. From the time I left home home in Montreal, I've been on my own only. Only.

SPEAKER_02

Do you have regret about that?

SPEAKER_00

No, no. How could I regret the beauty that is our lives now? How could I regret being talking to you in this way with filled with love for you and your sisters and family? Recently you and Joel, your wonderful, beautiful husband, Joel Gretsch, um made a Thanksgiving dinner so filled with love and attention and detail. It was something to to remember when you die. Remember that Thanksgiving? Goodbye. It was beautiful.

SPEAKER_02

Well then when if you can put yourself in the in the headspace of being on your deathbed, w is there anything you regret? Is there anything you wish you did differently? And do you think you could do it now?

SPEAKER_00

I regret the passage of my strength. I used to be an athlete and I ran and I skied and I swam and I uh loved diving. Um and all those things begin, you know. It's just somehow the weakness I can't deal with the inability to run seven miles the way I used to, just uh or swim under the water with a snorkel and see the sea life and walk up a mountain.

SPEAKER_02

Do you have any regrets? You know, yeah. Like I I like I think of my oldest daughter and things I would have done differently, you know, but I can't redo it, but I can think about No, but but Mel, you can't have regrets.

SPEAKER_00

Your oldest daughter, you were this fearful mother that big because of your background, you needed to do everything exactly right to mother her. And in that exactness, you might have been off course a little, but but your intentions, your desire was to be the best mother that ever lived.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So Do you have anything like that? Well, uh God, I I'm all the mistakes I've made, and I can't even recount them as a father. I don't know. I mean, I've been gone a lot because I was making uh our our livelihood uh by by being an actor on location or on the stage or elsewhere. You know, you don't act at home. You're you go away from home to find the job. So that's what I did. There was no choice. But while I was away, I ached and yearned and still do to be home.

SPEAKER_02

I get that as a as a regret, and I I think that that it's as normal as what I was saying about my my daughter. And and yet you know you did the best you could, and it and and really it's not like a real pain. If I were to die, I know I did my best. And like it's and and she knows I'm that's the way I feel. And so I I feel like you don't you won't have any, actually. Like you lived your life full out.

SPEAKER_00

And you still didn't. No, but what I'm saying is I love it so. I love my life so Oh I get yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That you don't want it to end.

SPEAKER_00

I don't I don't want it to end, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And it's going to end, and probably not in the distant future. When I had the cancer, uh I woke up from the deepest sleep and the doctor was fussing with me. And I said, and it was early in the morning. I said, What's wrong? He said, Your heartbeat went to twenty-two. From resting heartbeat of my resting heartbeat's like fifty-five, sixty. And I was limp, and I thought that's what it's going to be like to die, I hope. Just so tired that you pass out. I hope that's the way it is. I'll let you know.

SPEAKER_02

I hope I hope so too.

SPEAKER_00

What's his name? The great uh magician uh Houdini. Houdini Houdini whispered to his wife on his dime bed, I'm going to come back. And you'll know it's me because I'll say believe. She waited for twenty minutes and waited and died, and nobody whispered, believe. Hey, listen, let's talk about our future, what we're going to do with this podcast. You and I have talked sensationally, Melanie. You're you're a gem. Um we're gonna have doctors who deal with cancer and death and what they do and what they say and how they deal with it. And we're gonna have athletes on. We're gonna do shows about life and how the joy of life and the threat of death and the diseases that take us and how we can handle them. There's no time to die. The joy of life will supersede it. That's what our show is going to be about. Do you agree?

SPEAKER_02

I do. I think what my my hope is that we are gonna have the perfect mix of science and advancements and spiritual explorations.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, we'll do that. That we promise you. Come and see us soon. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks for listening to No Time But Now with William Shatner and me, Melanie Shatner Gretsch. Hey, if you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with friends and follow us wherever you get your podcast so you don't miss an episode. Visit us at no timebutnow.com to subscribe and follow us on Instagram and YouTube at No TimeButNow Official. We'll see you on the next episode.