I Raise 5 Kids Without School and Still Have Free Time - Here’s How

If school feels like it’s stuck in the past but homeschooling sounds exhausting, we get it. We’re talking about a third path that many families overlook: building a home culture of responsibility and self-directed learning so kids grow more independent and parents get real time back.

We dig into the systems behind unschooling and relaxed homeschooling, including a simple “capability ladder” you can use for chores, routines, and learning. The idea is straightforward: once a child can do something, that responsibility gradually becomes theirs, in an age-appropriate way. Laundry becomes a perfect example, but the same approach works for research, reading, problem-solving, and daily life skills. Over time, you’re not running everything alone, and your kids aren’t waiting to be told what to do.

We also get honest about confidence. We believe capability creates confidence, and that means letting kids make mistakes, learn natural consequences, and build trust in their own judgment. With technology changing fast and AI reshaping the future of work, we argue that curiosity, resilience, and practical competence matter more than perfect compliance or memorised facts.

If you’re exploring unschooling, alternative education, or just trying to raise capable kids without burning out, this conversation will give you a clear framework to start. Subscribe, share with a parent friend, and leave a review telling us what responsibility you want to hand off first.

Transcript

Why School And Parenting Feel Stuck

SPEAKER_00 0:31

The traditional education system is broken. And I believe that many parents already know this. I'm not telling you a secret. Where I think a lot of parents are finding issues is they don't want to homeschool. They enjoy their alone time. They want to be able to send their kids off. They want their kids to socialize, to be in activities. Well, I have somebody who has done this for over a decade. I can say that all those fears are valid. I used to have those same fears myself. And what I came to realize is that if you set certain systems in place, then you are able to still have your free time. Your kids are still able to participate in activities, and they're also able to learn without having to bring the classroom into your house. So this is what I talk about. I'm super passionate about this because so many parents have came up to me throughout the years asking me questions about how we do this. And many parents don't understand that if you raise your kids to be responsible, to have their own routines, to be able to do things without you, then naturally, as they get older, you're going to have that free time. And I would the reason I'm talking about this now is because I was talking to so many parents recently about

Systems That Create Family Free Time

SPEAKER_00 1:46

this, where they say, you must be so busy, you must be so overwhelmed. You have six kids right now. I'm raising five. People think that I must be just doing all day long. And when I tell them that I actually am not, and I have many blocks of free time and free hours, they don't believe it. So some things that I've done at home is as soon as I see a child of mine able to do something, that responsibility now becomes theirs. So everything age appropriately. Obviously, a two-year-old is not going to be able to load a machine, wash their laundry, and take it out. But a two-year-old can help you separate clothes. A two-year-old can help you load the laundry into the washing machine. A two-year-old can even help you fold. And we'll talk about standards later because that's another big part about

The Capability Ladder For Responsibility

SPEAKER_00 2:39

a lot of parents is letting go of what you think a standard is. But anyhow, as the kid gets older, because you've involved them in these processes from a young age, you can eventually hand it over to the kid. So it starts with the examples I just gave you. And then eventually I would fold their laundry and give it to them. And then I would just give them their laundry in a pile and I would no longer fold it. And then the day came where I said, hey, now it's your turn to wash your clothes and learn how to use this machine. This process of a capability ladder, we can call it, I have used throughout so many things in my house, not just laundry. That also comes with other chores. It also comes with learning. At first, I am the one facilitating and providing all the information to my kids. And as they've gotten older, then I can say, hey, why don't you look it up yourself? Hey, why don't you find a book where you can read that information? Instead of me being the the teacher and the only one to provide that information to them. And what I've created now is a household that in a sense is running itself. And I'm not saying that it's perfect all the time and that my kids never need reminders. But as a mother, I am able to hand over these responsibilities, which frees up my time. And now I am not the one responsible to do all these things, and I'm not the one having to do all these things because my kids can now do it as well. And part of homeschooling means my kids are with me all the time, 24-7. Well, if we're in the house, they're with me. So why shouldn't they be responsible for doing these things? Another belief of that I that we have as a family and why we do this is because responsibility teaches capability. And capability breeds confidence. When a child feels capable of doing something, their confidence grows. Imagine someone who cannot take care of themselves. That person's not going to be very confident. Imagine someone who can take care of themselves. That person has

Confidence, Mistakes, And Letting Go

SPEAKER_00 4:56

extreme confidence. Confidence comes from being able to do things and from knowing that you can make mistakes and you can also correct your mistakes and you can also learn how to do it your own way. And that breeds confidence. So I believe that the reason why my children are so confident today and just can get out there in the world to do things is because we've been building this foundation for such a long time of teaching them capability, of teaching them how to trust themselves and their own choices and their inner voice. That means that I also don't save them from mistakes. I don't save them from things going wrong all the time. Sometimes I allow it because I understand that the process is more important than the outcome. They have to go through some things to be able to get on the other side of them and understand how things work. We all have that child who doesn't want to be told what to do. Then allow them to figure out the process on their own. That teaches them more than us telling them, hey, if you put the glass of milk on the corner of the table, it's going to fall. Yes, you end up with a broken glass, but that they will never forget versus you always moving the glass back for them. And then they continuously do it. So my belief is also allowing children to learn through their own mistakes. Life is the real teacher, and education is everywhere. Children are born with a natural curiosity. They want to learn, they want to be part of life, and they don't want us to shield them from the realities of what life is. Granted, everything age appropriate, once again. Sometimes they only need bite sizes of what's happening. And sometimes when the questions continue, it's okay to explain an entire process of what may be going on in that moment. As my children have gotten older, I've been more honest with them, I've been more vulnerable with them. We've included them in more conversations that my parents still to this day won't tell me the truth of certain situations because they don't think we can handle it, because they think we're children, because we shouldn't know that information. And I laugh because to me, keeping people in the dark about things is the opposite of what we want. If we want children to grow up and be able to make decisions,

Unschooling As A Life Philosophy

SPEAKER_00 7:21

have discernment, and be able to have real conversations with people and understand when to pull back. We also have to be honest. So integrity is a huge thing for us and our family. Unschooling for us is more than just education, is really a philosophy of life. It's the way we show up every day, it's the way we learn, it's the way we conduct ourselves within our home. We want life to be the teacher, not just a school with four walls. The schools were created when we needed people to follow rules. We needed people to follow authority. Times have changed. And I'm not saying that I'm trying to raise a bunch of lawbreakers, but rules are changing. The way we make money, the way we educate, the way we grow, the way the world is moving, all of that is changing. And unfortunately, the school systems have stayed very far behind. There's way too much bureaucracy for the school system to actually move at the same speed of technology. And we're all seeing this takeover by AI. Some people say it's good, some people say it's bad, some people don't know how they feel about it. My belief is if we raise kids to be able to be confident and capable and curious, they're going to be able to navigate whatever comes at them. Because right now we're worried about AI. What's going to happen 10 years from now, 20 years from now? There's going to be something else to worry about. But instead, create that confidence in your kids so that whatever comes in

Raising Capable Kids In The AI Era

SPEAKER_00 9:03

life, they're able to handle it. Then we don't have to worry about what's the big issue at the moment. Giving them these tools to me is like the basic necessities of life. Being able to make your own food, take care of yourself is something that's going to translate to being an entrepreneur, being a business owner, or being whatever it is that your child wants to be. It's all going to translate. Parents who don't think that the small things matter now are the ones who raise kids who then are freaking out when they're 25 because they can't handle the realities of life. This is a true story. I have lived with people who could not take care of their basic needs. And I had to teach them how to fry an egg, how to do their laundry, even how to shower correctly. Because parents think that if the labor is cheap, why not have it? Let's pay for someone to do everything. And I have the same within my house, but I always remind them that their job is to help me. Their job is not to raise my kids or help my kids or incapacitate my kids from learning basic responsibilities. I talk about this. I love this topic.