SPEAKER_00 0:17

The torches are lit, but nobody's home.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

This is your assessment, Angelica. This is your expert opinion. The torches are lit, but no one is home. You are so funny. But you are not funny. Our lives are in peril.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

This isn't peril. This is actually sad. It's like he's not even human anymore. Look at him, Ollie.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

This man has become a vegetable. And not even a tasty one. He is basically the human equivalent of broccoli. If broccoli were a man, this would be it. Oh, settle down. Being a growling imbecile is fine, but when I call you broccoli, you're offended. You know, Angelica, as pusillanimous and ineffectual as Paul of Cuellos clearly is, even he should have gotten this right.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

This should have worked. Technically, it did work. He's alive. He's just not all there.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Clearly, you do not fully grasp the gravitas of this situation, my dear. So I'm going to speak to you like the idiot that you are. This piece of human broccoli was essential to Ursula's plans. And now, if I wanted to wipe my backside, I would choose something other than him because he isn't even useful enough for that. We've got to fix him, Angelica, before Ursula finds out. I lay this squarely at the feet of the alchemist. It is because of his ineffectual skill that we are staring at an invalid.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

How much skill does it take to stand over a dead corpse and read a scroll?

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Apparently more than he possessed.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

This isn't on him, Ollie. This is either the scroll or something you and Ursula didn't quite count on.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

You being a pathetic idiot was something I did not quite count on, but here we are. We could debate this for eternity, but we must take action before Ursula finds out. I'm going to attempt the same spell that I used to make your horse sentient. It's risky. It's not meant for humans. Stand back. I need room to cast.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Oh, he has to die.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

No, he's too important, Angela, because there's no plans. We have to fix it.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

I'm talking about our lives here. We can insult each other with our usual clips after we get out of this. Hold them with a spell, or I'll run you both through. Oliver, I'm eating to be straight with me, or I swear to Elion, I will end you right here and right now.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

That is very cute. I could kill you with a thought.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

And I could kill you in a blink. You want to find out which of us is faster? Or do you want to level with me? Seems that I might be the only friend you have now that Ursula's main ingredient is splattered all over the floor of this cave. Again.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

Alright. Fine. I'll explain everything.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

I'm listening.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

It's funny that you mention Elyon. He is the point of this entire matter.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

The god of Elysium?

SPEAKER_03 4:20

The god of gallons. Elysium, Welkin, or otherwise? Ursula wishes to challenge him.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Ursula will die. Elyon is the most powerful being in the known universe. Heck, he wouldn't even need to fight her himself. He has created things that could kill her. What makes her think she can challenge him?

SPEAKER_03 4:41

Good question. One I look forward to seeing play out. Remember, my dear, nothing is unbeatable. Not even the god of gods.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Where did Dominic fit into all of this?

SPEAKER_03 4:52

Sadly, he was how we were going to supplement Ursula's army. The idea was that you and Dominic would infiltrate various kingdoms in welcome. Dominic would use his shape-shifting powers to assume the likenesses of these kings and then declare war on their rivals. War would ensue, people would die.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

And then Ursula would simply gather the souls into her army. Precisely. She could collect all of the souls in the realm. It still wouldn't be enough to challenge Elion.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

No, but it would be enough to challenge the nine hells. One must crawl before she can walk, my dear. There are eight other overseers in hell, and only the strongest can maintain their place. Interestingly enough, overseers are overthrown every day. Ursula has maintained her power because she is wiser and more ambitious than the others.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

I thought Ursula was already the overseer of all of the nine hells. She is called the goddess of all nine, isn't she?

SPEAKER_03 5:55

You have made my point. You don't even know the names of the other eight overseers, do you? Sometimes, my dear, to achieve our goals, we have to act as if we've already achieved them. Ursula will conquer all of hell, and perhaps then she will be powerful enough to challenge the god of guns. Angelica sighed and shook her head. What is the matter?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

I'm thinking of all of the innocent people who are going to die, just so that Ursula can attack Elisium. What is the point of all of this, Oliver?

SPEAKER_03 6:29

What is the point of anything we do, my dear?

SPEAKER_00 6:32

These people, their lives have purpose. These purposes do not include becoming the farm system for an army of hell that has no chance of winning.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Purpose is a lie. Purpose is an illusion.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

That's not true.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

No? Consider the ant. An ant gets up in the morning and goes crawling outdoors in search of sustenance, its entire life ahead of it. I wake up and step out of my shrine and accidentally step on that ant en route to whatever plans I may have formulated. The ant dies, and I don't even realize I stepped on anything. Point of fact, I would argue that the only purpose in life we really have is to die. That is the one constant, that is the one inevitability for us all. If our purpose then is simply to die, then we have no purpose apart from gathering as much power along the way as possible.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

He who dies with the most toys wins? Is that it?

SPEAKER_03 7:44

That has always been it. You should know that better than anyone. Or was that someone else I saw riding on the back of Borough Cane? You did not seem to care about these so called innocents when you killed the Finn Army. Did those men and women you murdered have families, loved ones, etc? Did those men and women have purpose? Or were they simply ants that you stepped on en route to eventually dying yourself? Angelica remained quiet, considering the words of the Provost. But look at you now. You are powerful, fearless, dare I say, wiser as the result of your experiences. Power allows us to create our own purpose, if there even is such a thing. There will always be victims, my dear. If you have purpose, it should be to not be one of them.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

I don't know, Ollie. Maybe dying has changed my perspective. I've seen the end, and unlike most, I was able to come back from it, knowing what I knew then. I was only there a few days, but I saw the tormented souls in the Nine Hells. I honestly don't see the point of everything Ursula is trying to achieve, and frankly, I don't know why you are wasting your life with this. You have a daughter who loves you. Why not let go of whatever this is and spend some time doing something for her?

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Everything I do is for her. Every life I take, every act of violence I commit, my actions, everything is so that she is protected.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Then you do have purpose.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Lysa is the only family I have ever had that I have been proud of. My father and brothers were nothing to honor. My brothers are warriors, as is my father. They ridiculed me because I wasn't like them. I wasn't strong enough to properly wield a sword, so my father spent no time with me.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

And what about your mother?

SPEAKER_03 9:56

She died, giving birth to me. My father, I believe, resents me for it to this day.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Your father is alive?

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Amazingly enough, yes. I think he hangs on just despite me. My brothers are alive as well, though none of us speak to one another. They know nothing of Lysa nor whom I have become, but they will know in time.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Not if Ursula kills us both, which she likely will. Let this go, Ollie. We may disagree about purpose, but I think we can agree on one thing. If the purpose of what you're doing is for your daughter, do you think she would want you to do the things you are doing?

SPEAKER_03 10:38

She is a child. Parents know what is best with their children, not the other way around. I respect what you are saying, my friend. Believe me I have considered all things. The difference between you and I, Angelica, is that I have embraced what and who I am. I am fully aware that I am consumed with revenge, that I will likely never be able to actualize. For example, if I kill my father now, what real satisfaction will it bring me? What I truly desire is his love, yes? My revenge is therefore empty. If I destroy my brothers for bullying me now, it would not change the fact that I did absolutely nothing about it when it truly mattered. In fact, I let anger and vengeance change me to the point of no return. I have become the very embodiment of what I despise. To destroy them would really accomplish nothing. And yet I'll do it anyway.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Why?

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Because I have to. I understand what I am, my dear. I am a victim who has become so twisted by the events of his life that all I have left is empty revenge. If I do not have power, I have nothing. The only way out for me is through.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

It doesn't have to be that way, my friend. For either of us.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

It does for me. And the sooner you understand that about yourself, the easier it will be for you.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

We're not going to settle this today. Besides, we have a bigger problem to deal with. Ursula isn't going to be happy about any of this, and I have no desire to become the aunt in your metaphor.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

We can certainly agree on that point. Perhaps on others as well. In truth, Ursula treats me no differently than my father and my brothers did. Why should I help her when I can destroy her and take her place myself?

SPEAKER_00 12:54

To do that, you'd need an army of your own.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

I already have an army of one. He simply needs to be brought out of a coma.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Be that as it may, eventually Ursula is going to want to know why wars have not started in Welcome. Dominic was the catalyst of that part of the plan. Without him, we have no way to get the kings to declare war. I assume that using mental magics would tip off Elyon to your larger end game. Explains why you don't use any on the alchemist.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

You have become wise indeed. If I could have mentally manipulated the Kings of Welcome to conflict, Ursula would already have her army. An army that Elon would vanquish before its first dead war. If this is to work, then it needs to be done in silence. Hence the need for a shape shifter. Wars occur all the time, and Elyon would be none the wiser.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

I realize that shapeshifters don't grow on trees. But maybe our only way to get war started is to find another one. We're going to need to do that just to make Ursula believe you are following through on her plans. While we figure out a way to bring your warrior out of his coma. I may have some contacts that can advise us, but I'll need to ride to them.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Teleportation will be much faster.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Faster, yes. Safer? No. My contacts are the witches of Les Ropalm.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Are they still living inside the lava pits?

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Last I checked. You teleport in there and you'll be burned alive. My blood will protect me. Let's meet back at your shrine once I have the information.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

No one can know the location of my shrine, my dear. Not even Lisa knows it.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

It's not like I'm moving in. Not yet, anyway. Slightly more than useless. Useless. Take me to Le Ropong.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

I couldn't help but overhear your conversation about needing a shape shifter since old uh Dominique here is sleeping with the fishes. You know, I can be more than just a horse. All you need to do is tell me what to be, and I'll be it. If you need a fly, I can become a bird. If you need me to be a weapon, I can do that too.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Can you become a human? The provost was stunned to watch as useless turn into a mirror image of himself.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

How y'all doing? My name is Ollie Merle Nass, the Provost.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Oh, that is so cool. Ollie, he looks just like you. He sounds just as arrogant and self-absorbed as you too.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

This will never work if he cannot sound like the kings and queens he will be mimicking.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Let me know when you have a better idea.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, let us know if you have a better idea.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Be silent, you filthy creature.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Be silent, you filthy creature.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Oh that is so good. I am so impressed with you.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Does that mean we can change my name now?

SPEAKER_00 16:00

No.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

We'll start in Gath, Perr said a twin brother who was the Earl there. And while the Earl had no claims to the throne by right, he has always resented his brother for marrying Queen Marlena.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Sounds juicy. Why was this?

SPEAKER_03 16:16

He was in love with her, of course. But his brother was to be king, so he had to watch the love of his life marry his twin. The same twin who got to become king simply because he was the first twin to emerge from their mother's womb. I think it would make perfect sense for Gath to declare war on Finn. Elon might notice, but it is so easily explained that I doubt he would suspect magical involvement.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

A good plan. I don't agree with your take on purpose, but I do agree that Ursula needs to be taken down. Once that happens, we may be at odds again.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

I look forward to the challenge. In the meanwhile, consider us aligned.