SPEAKER_04 0:05

And now Thamro.

SPEAKER_09 0:22

Our story returns to the tender mercies of the Nine Hells, where Thamro and Jenna had been captured and added to a slave caravan, helmed by Sindel and Baal Khan, collectors in the employee of the overseer of the torso. We begin here.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

You might want to stand back, Jenna. I don't want you getting struck by lightning.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Would you please shut up?

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Uh no, I will not shut up. In fact, since we're both dead now, I will talk your ear off for all eternity.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Then this really is hell. You're welcome. You could have done something, you know? Since you're all buddies with El Yon and everything. The least you could have done was given me a heads up that my powers wouldn't work down here. Oh, and I don't know, maybe if you hadn't stabbed me in the first place, I'd be alive and not in hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Oh, for the love of Welkin, will you shut up?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

No, you shut up.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Both of you, shut up. This is a slave caravan, not a sitcom. A sit what? Never mind. Just shut up. Or Balkan here will shut you up. Understood? Good.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Ugh, Jenna. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. I didn't give you a chance to tell me anything. This is my fault.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

No, Seth, it's not anybody's fault. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to yell at you.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

I don't understand why my powers aren't working. Did Elion say anything about this?

SPEAKER_03 1:58

He said that convergence was a means to an end. That her purpose all along was just to get you here in the nine. He mentioned that her powers are fueled by evil blood magic, which we already knew, but that he didn't want you using those abilities here. He said they would be useless here.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Means to an end? Useless? I don't know, Jenna. I'm thinking my super strength would be pretty useful right about now. What am I supposed to fight demons with without my sword? Without my powers?

SPEAKER_03 2:29

I don't know. Elion didn't tell me.

SPEAKER_11 2:31

Ho ho ho ho ho! That sounds a lot like Elion to me. He is a mysterious one, that one.

SPEAKER_10 2:37

Famro and Jenna turned to look towards a man in their slave caravan who had chosen to interject himself into what was otherwise a private conversation. He had hair like raven's wings, skin that was a soft, supple pink in color, and hands that boasted delicate yet well-callused fingers. He was not a tall or strong man by any means. But his confidence suggested that it was your problem, not his own. His body was lean and cunt, but that was due more to genetics than any physical discipline or regimen. His clothing was loose and frilly, like one might expect to see worn by a stage or street performer. His teeth were like pearls, rows of perfection as he smiled. Very out of place given the vast imperfections that surrounded him.

SPEAKER_03 3:40

This is a private conversation.

SPEAKER_11 3:42

Oh, you needn't worry, las. This chat of ours won't be spreading beyond the circle of trust here amongst us three.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Uh, there is no us three. There is me and him.

SPEAKER_11 3:53

And Bilsby makes three. Oh, my, I need to write that one down. There's a song in there somewhere, las. Where's me quail and Miss Grow when we need it?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Wait. You're Billsby the Bard? The most famous bard in all of Welcome? I, the one and only my handsome young friend. What are you doing in the nine hells?

SPEAKER_11 4:13

Playing dead, Miss Boses. I made a funny. Get it? I play instruments, and I'm dead. Playing dead.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

It wasn't that funny.

SPEAKER_11 4:24

If you be wearing panties under them red robes of yours, lassie, I think they may be a wee bit wadded up. And unbunching is long overdue, me things.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

I'll unbunch you, you smelly little insect.

SPEAKER_11 4:38

Ah, that's more like it. There's that passion, ginger.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

How is it that you ended up in the nine house?

SPEAKER_11 4:44

A long story that. Sit back and relax, Laddie. As I tell you about a time I was playing the 21st birthday party of a young virgin princess, who was bequeathed to the hand of a young prince and arranged marriage to unify two kingdoms and the like.

SPEAKER_06 5:13

Honored guests, subjects, servants, stewards.

SPEAKER_11 5:18

Bow and show the proper respect to his Majesty King Wolfgang, Jebediah the Fourth, Slayer of Dragons, Ruler of the Black Moon, Prince of All Dominions, Singer of Hymnals, and Master of all he surveys at every single moment.

SPEAKER_08 5:36

Nough with the titles. They know how magnificent I am, Roy Cryer. In fact, go outside and hang yourself. You displease me, and I no longer wish to gaze upon your patheticness. Go now, before I change my mind, regret allowing you to live.

SPEAKER_11 5:51

Yes, your magnificence. Now then, where is my darling child? Where is my twenty one-year-old virgin princess daughter? Who will marry a prince she does not love in a marriage I arranged purely for my own royal benefit? Where is Princess Annie? Or King Wolfgang was looking for Princess Annie. But she was nowhere to be found because you see, laddie, Princess Annie was in the grotto being mesmerized by the doubts of tones of yours, truly. One and a two and a three go.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Am I ready for this?

unknown 6:46

You should be your boyfriend, boyfriend, and you should kiss with Biddlesby. You're up with me. Fill it taste, then you will soon see the prince. You want to marry. This man put this on the small side, but not the case with Biddle's B. I am like a thought three. Actually, more like a forest, forest. Nothing I know right with forest forests.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Instead of picking up the words C word C, I would just say Bilsby, swinging with me, last, Bilsby, Singin' with me, Laddie, Bilsby, swinging with me, last, bills me, swinging with me, laddie, bills me, yes, singles be. Swing it.

SPEAKER_11 7:34

I seduced it so easily. I surprised Stephen Beast's self, Laddie. Her daddy was none too pleased when he discovered us making the beast with two backs. What is the meaning of this? Whoa, this? This be a lovemaking position, your grace. You see, when a man and a woman kind of like one another, sometimes things escalate to the point where things get a bit more intimate.

SPEAKER_06 7:57

I did not mean that literally, you idiot. What I meant was, what are you doing with my until recently virgin princess daughter? She is to be married today.

SPEAKER_11 8:10

Oh, I know, your grace. She don't love the likes of him, though, Highness. She loves old Bilsby the Bard. Don't think of this as losing the prince and the joining of your kingdoms and such. Think of it instead as gaining the greatest bard in all the welcome as part of your family, Laddie.

SPEAKER_07 8:29

Kill him. Do it now, do it often, kill him, and then resurrect him so that I can watch him be killed twice.

SPEAKER_11 9:00

Oh, that was a good one, Laddie. Oh, that was a good shot, Laddie. Try mine, Bilsby. I wrote that for you, Laddie. The guards attacked and tried to capture old Bilsby, but I was too fleet of foot for him, lad. I grabbed me guitar, the source of me powers, and played me way through him like a hot knife through butter. Unfortunately, just as I was about to make me grand escape, me noticed the king had another daughter that me hadn't seen when I first arrived at the palace. She winked at old Bisbee and motioned for him to approach her. So me did.

SPEAKER_03 9:46

And let me guess how it ends. You slept with her, sullied her, and the king had you killed.

SPEAKER_11 9:52

Me heads a decoration of a beautiful spike outside the kingdom walls as we speak, my lady. How'd you know the enemy's story? Will you dare me beheading?

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Ahem. You mentioned Ellion, Bilsby. Do you know him? Can you reach him?

SPEAKER_03 10:07

If this idiot could reach Ellyon, do you think he'd be here in the nine? Come on, Seth. Think.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

You met him and you're here, aren't you?

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Ooh, point to Seth. Shut up!

SPEAKER_01 10:20

I'm just saying, if Bilsby can get word to Ellion, then maybe he can ask him how I got my strength back.

SPEAKER_11 10:26

Oh, I don't need to talk to the god of goss for that, my young new friend. That one's easy. Your power's inside of you. Always has been. It'll be there when you need it. But not because of anything you do, no. It'll be because of what Ellion does. So I'm just supposed to wait for Elion then? No, Seth. You need to figure out a way to get us out of this mess. Your destiny is to face Ursula, yes?

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Ah, there is no us. How can you possibly know that, Billsby?

SPEAKER_11 10:57

Barded knowledge. It's cool, right? I know all kinds of things we shouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

So then I do need to figure out a way to get my strength back and bust out of here.

SPEAKER_11 11:07

No, Laddie, you can't do anything on your own. Without Erion, you can do 100% of nothing. You need to sit tight and wait on him. Wait.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

One minute you tell me I need to rely totally on Elion, and in the next breath, you tell me I need to do something. Which one is it? You're welcome, Laddie.