SPEAKER_10 0:10

Meanwhile, in Quarles, a province about a four-day ride from Tron Lord Dawn, King Wolfgang Jebediah IV was walking the grounds of his castle with his advisers when he noticed something peculiar to him.

SPEAKER_07 0:26

Elion's beard!

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Honored guests, subjects, servants, and stewards bow and show the proper respect to his Majesty King Wolfgang, Jebediah IV, slayer of dragons, ruler of the Black Moon, Prince of all dominions, singer of hymnals, and master of all he surveys at every single moment. He has discovered something heinous that greatly displeases him, and we must all give our undivided attention to what has greatly startled his royal highness. Please, your magnificence, speak.

SPEAKER_07 1:07

Wait. Why are you alive? I could have sworn I ordered you to hang yourself, Royal Crier.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

You did, Your Majesty, but I did it incorrectly.

SPEAKER_07 1:17

Forgive me, your grace. And why do you sound like a woman now?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

The strain of the noose around my neck, your highness. It changed my voice.

SPEAKER_07 1:28

All right. I actually prefer you like this.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Thank you, Your Highness.

SPEAKER_07 1:32

Still. When I tell someone to hang him or herself, I expect it to be done.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yes, your Highness.

SPEAKER_07 1:41

Must I do everything myself? Even dying is too difficult for you fools.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yes, Your Highness.

SPEAKER_07 1:48

Stop agreeing with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Yes, Your Highness.

SPEAKER_07 1:51

All of you, look there.

SPEAKER_10 1:53

The king pointed up to what had become his favourite decoration within his castle. It was the spiked head of one Bilsby, the bard. Bilsby, whom you may recall sullied the king's princess virgin daughter. Annie had been bequeathed to marry a prince she did not love in a marriage the king had arranged purely for his own royal benefit. Bilsby eluded the king and his guard using his bardic powers, playing his guitar with immaculate skill. He was nearly out of the king's castle when suddenly he realized the king had a second daughter, whom he also sullied. It was during this second liaison that Bilsby the Bard was captured.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

Oh look at ya.

SPEAKER_10 2:42

Look at ya now. And consequently beheaded. Afterward, King Wolfgang had placed the bard's head on a spike. Bilsby He often showed it off to friends who visited his castle. The king's favorite decoration, it seemed, however, had gone.

SPEAKER_07 3:05

Missing? It is missing?

SPEAKER_01 3:08

What is missing, your grace?

SPEAKER_07 3:10

Where is Princess Annie? Where is my daughter?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

She is not on the grounds, your grace. What?

SPEAKER_07 3:19

What do you mean she is not on the grounds? Bilsby.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

Oh, it is so good to be alive again. You know, lasses, being a hero, facing down demons in the nine hills and saving the world, or by mean lonesome, you might add, is very tiring work. Oh, Bisby is eternally grateful to you, lasses, for making him feel all distressed. Let's celebrate with a little song.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

Oh yes. Annie, my name is Billsby. And now I am your daddy. Your father tried to marry you off to a man not as endowed.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

As Billsby. As Bills be.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

I am your daddy now. I am your daddy now. I'm your daddy. I am your father. Like Luke Skywalker. I am your daddy. I'm your daddy. Bisbee's your daddy.

SPEAKER_07 4:42

Bisbee is your daddy. Wonders never cease, Bilsby.

SPEAKER_04 4:47

Oh, my, if it isn't King Wolfgang itself. I bet you'd be wondering how Bisbee is alive and kicking, ain't you, Laddie?

SPEAKER_07 4:54

The thought had crossed my medulla obligonta.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Methinks you mean frontal lobe, Laddie. You see, Miking, the medulla be the part of the lower brainstem. Maybe for controlling your breathing and blood pressure. Speaking of blood pressure.

SPEAKER_07 5:11

It doesn't matter where the thought occurred, you idiot. I recall asking that you be resurrected so that I could murder you twice. It seems the gods have a sense of humor.

SPEAKER_04 5:22

We should celebrate with a song.

SPEAKER_07 5:24

You think me a fool? I know that your guitar is the source of your powers. Put it down before I give you the red smile you so richly deserve. Now then, I am not a completely unreasonable king. You will stand trial for your crimes against my throne. Take him.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

The king's guard took Billsby and shackled him in large iron chains. He was led to a large auditorium.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

All rise. The honorable Judge Dana Maximus is presiding over the case of the people versus Milford Bartholomew William Aloysius, also known as Bilsby the Bard.

SPEAKER_06 6:11

Bilsby!

SPEAKER_04 6:12

The most famous bard in all the welcome. You forgot that part, Lass.

SPEAKER_12 6:18

The defendant will silence himself or I will hold him in contempt. Is that understood?

SPEAKER_04 6:22

Oh, I understand a great many things, Lass. Would you like to get out of here and find out a few of them with old Bilsby?

SPEAKER_12 6:29

Isn't that precisely what got you into this mess, sir? Or should I say messes, seeing as how we're essentially doing the same trial that ended in your beheading a few years ago.

SPEAKER_07 6:38

It is, Your Honor. I want him killed. It doesn't seem to take. Just the same. I want to put his head on another spike. It was my favorite decoration. He sullied my daughter and cost me cost her the love of her life.

SPEAKER_12 7:03

The things we do for love. Constable, are the people prepared to present their case?

SPEAKER_13 7:08

We are, Your Honor. Proceed then with opening arguments. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am Constable Marcus Jacksonus. I am here on behalf of the people in the case of the people versus Billsby the Bard. The defendant stands accused of taking the virginity of Princess Annie and destroying any opportunity of the merger of two kingdoms. And love. Oh yes, and love or something.

SPEAKER_04 7:38

That's just it, Your Honor. Princess Annie don't love the likes of the prince. She loved old Bilsby the Bard. The only reason the king wanted old Bisby dead is because of the coins he won't be lining his coffers with.

SPEAKER_13 7:49

Your Honor, he can't interrupt me. I wasn't finished with my opening statement.

SPEAKER_12 7:55

Order. The defendant will keep silent or be held in contempt.

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Will the honorable judge be the one doing the contemptual holdin'?

SPEAKER_12 8:02

And if the hold was a rear naked choke, would you still be so anxious?

SPEAKER_04 8:06

You had me a naked lass.

SPEAKER_07 8:08

Why do we even need a trial? His guilt is obvious.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Guilty of what? Guilty of being a man with desires and needs. Guilty of being a man who spreads joy through the realm with music. Oh Bilsby is loved by the masses, Laddie, and your daughter was consent and agreeable to a role in the hay with yours truly. Don't be mad at me for being me, lad.

SPEAKER_13 8:31

Your Honor, do I even need to proceed?

SPEAKER_12 8:34

He has all but admitted his guilt. King Wolfgang, constable. Bilsby the Bard is a gigolo and a despicable human being. But I do not see any other crimes he can be accused of. If Princess Annie was consensual in their relations, then I have no choice other than to dismiss this case and set the defendant free.

SPEAKER_11 8:52

I was not consenting. Order.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

Alas. You know Bisbee would never force herself on you. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 9:04

You see, Your Honor. It was not consensual. He needs to die for his crimes.

SPEAKER_12 9:12

Let me get this straight. The Bard is 5'3 and maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet. Princess Annie is 5'10 and looks to weigh about 175 pounds.

SPEAKER_11 9:20

172, thank you.

SPEAKER_12 9:22

Water weight aside, she's a healthy girl. No offense, Bilsby, but without your bardic powers, I'm not sure you could win a fight with, well, anyone.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

You're making me point, Your Honor. Old Bisbee would never force herself on a lass. And if I might be so bold, Old Bilsby has never needed to. I mean, look at me, Lasie. Look at the definition in my abdominal region. Clothes have been cleaned on these las. Annie, why are you making up tails, las? The thing Old Bisbee liked most about you was the fact that you liked him for himself and not for his music or his animal magnetism. Your Honor, Old Bisbee gets lots of groupies. Annie was different.

SPEAKER_11 10:06

I was manipulated. I would have never consented to this had I not been influenced by his bardic powers.

SPEAKER_12 10:15

I'm afraid this leaves me no choice. I find the defendant guilty.

SPEAKER_04 10:20

Wait. That is not proof. She is lying. It is her word against old Bisbee. And if anyone is manipulating the lass, it'd be her daddy. If I won't get a fair trial, then old Bisbee has no choice.

SPEAKER_12 10:32

What are you proposing?

SPEAKER_04 10:34

Old Bisbee is waving his right to a traditional trial lass and invoking the privilege of trial by combat.

SPEAKER_12 10:41

Who will be your champion bard?

SPEAKER_04 10:43

Me once set Famro to represent me.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Freeport. It was known for two things cheap sailing and cheap brothels. But ever since the whole incident where that one man claimed to have a burning sensation when he urinated, and he meant that literally. The people of Welcome generally stuck to cheap sailing whenever they frequented Freeport. Seth Thamro and Jenekiss arrived to book passage on the renowned pleasure vessel, the Stubing. And though it was among the most expensive ships to book, Seth and Jenna felt that, after the Order of the Dragon, fighting Ursula and now Count Dracula, that they'd more than earned it. Besides, Seth had been called to Quarlus to help save his friend Bilsby the Bard. Who had been accused of a very serious crime. He had been found guilty, though he maintained his innocence, invoking the right of trial by combat, naming Seth his champion. The trial would not be completed until Seth competed in Mortal Kombat with the champion of King Wolfgang's choosing.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Jenna, I know that we're on our way to fight in a trial by combat. Possibly a fight that will be the end of my life, but I gotta say, I am really excited to be sailing on my very first cruise. Correction, silly warrior.

SPEAKER_10 12:26

You are headed to fight in a trial by combat. A fight that will possibly be the end of your life. I'm just tagging along.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

So if the fight goes south, you would just let me die?

SPEAKER_10 12:37

Have I ever just let you die?

SPEAKER_02 12:39

No. Except that one time where you actually killed me.

SPEAKER_10 12:43

That doesn't count. Technically, we both died.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

How does that not count as killing me?

SPEAKER_08 12:49

Technically, I killed you, Master.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

That's actually a fair point, Convergence. Jenna could not have stabbed me in my sleep unless you let her.

SPEAKER_08 12:58

If it wasn't what Ellian wanted, I would have killed her, Master. I would have enjoyed doing it too. I would start with her mouth because she's always talking so much.

SPEAKER_10 13:07

Have you met yourself, Convergence? I would say you're one to talk, but the pun would be so clever that it would instantly become cliche.

SPEAKER_08 13:17

What imbecilic point are you attempting to make, Jenna?

SPEAKER_10 13:20

My point, stupid sword, is that you shouldn't even be able to talk in the first place. You are an inanimate object. You are a thing that should have never had the ability to speak to begin with. And yet you, a thing that blabs all the time, actually has the unmitigated gall to accuse me of talking too much.

SPEAKER_08 13:46

You do realize that your long-winded speech is making my point.

SPEAKER_09 13:51

Yes? I hate you. Both of you.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

You two need to get along. We're going to be on this cruise together for at least the next week or so.

SPEAKER_08 14:01

Master, I am not going on the cruise. Huh?

SPEAKER_09 14:05

What do you mean? I get seasick. You're a sword.

SPEAKER_08 14:08

And you're annoying. Swords can't get seasick. Have you ever been a sword, Jenna? That was rhetorical. Of course you haven't. So you wouldn't know. I would know.

SPEAKER_10 14:21

You know how? Because I have been on ships with people who had swords. And you know what? Not one sword was bent over the side of the ship, throwing up its guts. So look, you stupid, ignorant, ridiculous, inadimate, sentient. Don't forget, stunningly beautiful, arrogant, pisselatimous, boot-licking son of a harlot's butter knife. You are getting on that stupid ship, and you are sailing with us to quarrel. You see, Master, I told you she talks too much. Wait. You just did that to spin me up.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Hey, how about we all calm down and go aboard this magnificent ship?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Seth, Jenna, and Convergence boarded the Stubing along with several other pleasure cruisers. The vessel was as large as a Spanish galleon, only with every imaginable indulgence aboard. Once they had shown the captain their tickets, they were escorted to their quarters.

SPEAKER_10 15:39

There's only one bed. Oh hell no. I don't know where you and your stupid seasick blade are going to sleep, but it won't be with me. Yeah, we're taking the bed. You would seriously make me sleep on the floor of this veranda?

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Nobody is making you do anything. Nobody.

SPEAKER_10 16:02

But you. We can't sleep in the same bed, Seth. Why not? Well, we're not like together like that or anything. You're like my kid brother. So then what's the problem? This doesn't feel weird to you. You're making it weird. I'm making it weird. You kind of are, Jenna. Shut up. Alright, fine. We sleep head to foot, okay? Don't breathe on my feet either. Why would I breathe on your feet? Oh, I don't know. Because shut up.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Seth began untying his mask and removed his gold-bladed helm.

SPEAKER_10 16:37

Can I ask you a question? I've always wondered this. Yeah. What's with the whole full mask thing?

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Don't you remember? When the ghost had the bounty on us? The provost fashioned this mask out of my shirt to hide my identity.

SPEAKER_10 16:55

And then he gave you a belt and a gold-plated helmet with gigantic crimson-colored T's on them. Yeah, but ghosts will never find you. Idiot. For your information, the items are enchanted. Enchanted? Yes, enchanted. Seth, I cast spells for a living. I think I'd sense the magic on them if they were.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

You wouldn't sense the enchantment because we're friends. When I wore these items back in the day, the belt used to allow the provost to teleport me back to his shrine. The T is a rune that would let me get past the wards. The helm protects me from mental magic attacks and projects an outward image of me that looks nothing like me. I look like a regular guy to everyone else.

SPEAKER_10 17:43

You expect me to believe this? That's like if there were a guy who was as big and buff as you, who walked around with a sword, and every time this buff guy spoke a phrase, he turned into a stronger version of the same guy, only now he's insanely tan. And somehow nobody would know that the first guy and the tanned up he-man were the same dude.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Except maybe like his three closest friends.

SPEAKER_10 18:11

You're completely making up that whole thing about the mask, aren't you?

SPEAKER_02 18:15

I totally am.

SPEAKER_10 18:16

You like it because it makes you look badass, right? Pretty much. Honestly, it's hard to breathe in.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

There's nowhere for my nostrils to get air, so I'm constantly breathing out of my mouth, so there's this ongoing recycling of my own breath.

SPEAKER_10 18:28

Ew, maybe you shouldn't wear it then. Your mom, Kamara, she doesn't wear a mask. Thad doesn't wear a mask. Both of them are in your little Tamro Club.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Chicks dig the mask.

SPEAKER_10 18:41

Chicks dig a man with a savings account and good credit.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Later that evening, Jenna and Seth made their way to the ship's bar for drinks and the onboard entertainment. As the band of minstrels was performing some soft dinner music, Jenna and Seth stepped up to the bar to order a drink.

SPEAKER_10 19:04

What can I get you, honey? What's that rainbow-looking drink you just poured for the half orc? That? It's called the Ollie.

SPEAKER_12 19:11

Used to be called the Provost. Same guy, though.

SPEAKER_10 19:15

It's like I'm back in the nine hells. Somebody seriously named a drink after that guy? They did. It's not half bad, actually. What happens after I drink it? Do I become an asshole? It's too late. Touche. I asked for that. You did. I've been grumpy all day. I deserve that. Well-played sword. I live to give. One Ali, please.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Suddenly, the night's festivities were interrupted.

SPEAKER_07 19:49

Ladies and gentlemen, pardon the interruption, but I'm afraid it's long past time you made my acquaintance. Wait. I recognize you. Aren't you Sidworth Jones? Sidworth Jones? Evans no. Sidworth Jones is not the most infamous pirate in all of Welkin. Whom would that be, gentlemen? Our ship is being post-masting round. Yo ho shiver the boom. Boom the deck. Clean the shale. Pepper the mint. And it's away in the morn. Ah, pirates! A will be sailing with the tide with the house the tide. Yo hoy the hatch. Hoist the pitch. Bury the hatch. Poop the deck. Beat the bridge.

SPEAKER_06 20:51

And soon we'll be out on the ocean floor, so let's heave hoe to the wheels.

SPEAKER_07 20:58

Come, Jolly Tars, let's sing while we can.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

Soon we'll all be deadly.

SPEAKER_07 21:28

Sailing on a home. With a good stout ship beneath your feet. And a good stout life. Nothing nothing nothing like a sailor's life. A sailor's life is grand. Oh never give up the sea unlash.

SPEAKER_14 21:52

Never give up the shea unlash.

SPEAKER_07 22:28

You offer me a job online follow the fleet and scuttle the bar. Hold on, steal the cards, pepper the men.

SPEAKER_06 22:42

We're sailing away, sailing away, sailing away, sailing away, sailing away on the sea Ah Pirate Sid.

SPEAKER_07 22:57

Go on, ladies, say my name.

SPEAKER_10 23:00

What do you want, Pirate Sid?

SPEAKER_07 23:02

I'm sorry. Have we met?

SPEAKER_10 23:04

No, I don't believe we have.

SPEAKER_07 23:06

Are you sure? I never forget a face. Wait, maybe I wasn't looking at your face. Do you have a tattoo that says We have never met.

SPEAKER_10 23:19

Now, tell us what you want before I bash you.

SPEAKER_07 23:23

We don't want you. We want him.

SPEAKER_10 23:26

You want Seth?

SPEAKER_07 23:27

I don't know anybody named Seth. But I know a bloody Thamro when I see one. All them red T's all over himself. I'd miss, you know.

SPEAKER_10 23:37

What'd I tell you?

SPEAKER_07 23:38

Except for this one fella. He had this deep tan that could somehow hide his true identity. I stand corrected. Anyway, I digress. We're here for him and his magical sword. Give us the Thamro, and we'll be on our way.

SPEAKER_10 23:54

You're not taking him anywhere.

SPEAKER_07 23:56

What are you, honey? His girlfriend?

SPEAKER_10 23:59

Um well, we're friends.

SPEAKER_07 24:02

Aww. Sorry, bud. The friend zone is a mighty beast. Very hard to get out of. You might be better off, though. This one seems like a right pain in the arse. Excuse me? Anyway, come with us, Mr. Thamro, and no one here has to get hurt. You're not going to hurt anybody.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Fabulous secrets were revealed to him the day he held aloft his magic sword and spoke the word of power. Thumb!

SPEAKER_07 24:32

Get a sword at him. Let's go.

SPEAKER_10 24:35

I'm coming with you.

SPEAKER_07 24:36

So you are his girlfriend. Um I'm well. She likes you, kiddo. She's just so doggone wishy-washy that you might be 175 by the time she admits it. And you'll be too bloody old to care by then. Jenna, stay with the stewbing. Tell Billsbean not to worry. I'll be there soon. Or not at all, young warrior. We might not survive this undertaking we be undertaking. What are we going to do? What do you need from me? We're going to take down the most heavily fortified vessel in the world, the Apollonia. And why? Gold. That's why.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

I told you to stay on the stubing.

SPEAKER_09 25:36

And last I checked, you weren't the boss of me.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

I could have handled this, Jenna.

SPEAKER_09 25:40

Doesn't look like it, Doofus. You're a doofus. You're a bigger doofus. Doofus.

SPEAKER_07 25:48

Don't look so glum, young Thamro. Once we capture the gold of the dragon, we'll be happy to release you and your girlfriend. What exactly are you two anyway? Jenna and I are just friends. You're telling me that you two never No. You didn't even No? Well, what about No! Not even Heavens no. She's a pretty one, young Thamro. Seems to have taken a shine to you too. Despite her constantly blabbering otherwise. I'm wondering if your friend zone status ain't a product of your own bloody doing. Listen, Sidworth. Pirate said. Say it with me, young Damro. Pirate said. Not no more. Not since. Not since what? Never you mind. You're here to do one job, and that's to help us capture the Apollinia.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

I'm assuming the Apollonia is the name of the vessel that is carrying the mythical gold of the dragon.

SPEAKER_07 26:55

I like this one, boys. He asks too many bloody questions, but I don't have to explain things to him more than once. Young Thamrell, the Apollinia is the most fortified vessel in all of Welkin. And she needs to be. She carries more gold on her than any bank in the world.

SPEAKER_10 27:14

And this is where the gold of the dragon is?

SPEAKER_07 27:17

It's where we believe it is, yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Wait. You don't know for certain? You're going to infiltrate the most heavily fortified vessel in all of the Welkin Sea on the chance that it is carrying the gold of the dragon.

SPEAKER_07 27:31

Oh ye of little faith. The gold be on the Apollinia. Think about it. Luters have been searching for the Tarragon's gold ever since dragons became extinct. I assume a couple of smart kids like you two know the legend? Enlighten us. Okay. Let's start at a beginning. Once upon a time, there were dragons.

SPEAKER_10 27:54

We already know that part. Red dragons made with humans, creating a race of dragonborns, which started the war of the dragons. Dragons fought each other mainly because many of them felt that the bloodline had been tainted due to the intermarriage of the species, which led to the war, which led to the eventual extinction of the dragons. But what we don't know is what the gold of the dragon has to do with any of that.

SPEAKER_07 28:20

All dragons love gold. All dragons fill their lairs with said gold. Supposedly, when the dragons became extinct, the dragon god, or tarragon, as they later became known, collected all of the gold from every lair of every dragon that had ever lived, and hid it away somewhere in the world. I believe that hiding spot is the Apollinia. Why would they do that? Because it doesn't make sense. Which makes it make all the sense in the world. The best place to hide something is in a place you're already looking. And you think that's a warship? The Apollinia isn't a warship. She's a floating bank. She's not fortified with weapons. She's fortified with fear.

SPEAKER_10 29:07

Fear? What do you mean? Like magical ward spells?

SPEAKER_07 29:11

Even better. She's armed with ghosts. Ghosts? Ghost marinas, to be precise. You're telling me that mariners, who are actually ghosts, are sailing that ship? Young Damro, that vessel is the very economy of Welkin. You sink that bad boy, and the entire world sinks with it. Ain't nobody in their right state of mind gonna even dream about robbing her. Think about it. Where would you even cash in the gold if you did manage to bloody get it? Each bar is hand coded, individually stamped, warded, etc etc. That gold is there as a standard, a reserve, if you will. The gold in circulation around the realm is backed by the idea of that floating bank. And that's why me thinks the gold of the dragon is on the Apollinia. It's the last place anybody would think to look. And yet, it's the one place that could actually store that much gold. And the dragon's gold ain't hand coded, individually stamped norwarded. It's just gold. Good, shiny, old fashioned, beautiful gold. And what do you need me for? Young Damro, that much should be obvious. You fought six bloody dragons and lived to tell the tale.

SPEAKER_10 30:30

Elean's beard. It was one dragon. And he didn't even defeat it. I did. Hey, I helped. I flew up and threw the potion down its throat. Convergence flew up. You just hitched a ride. Everything special about you comes out of that sword.

SPEAKER_07 30:49

That was harsh, Miss Jenna. The youngster didn't deserve that. You see, boys, that right there is why I'm bloody single.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

You You really think that, Jenna? After everything we've been through?

SPEAKER_07 31:03

Let's give the youngster some space, brothers.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

You know, I never asked for any of this. I was born dead. I'm not even supposed to be here right now. Before I met Elion, all I knew was waking up chained to a wall, fighting a Yivok with Kravex, and then meeting you. And I remember helping you without any of my powers, without having convergence on my hip.

SPEAKER_10 31:34

I know. I know. The bards get a hold of a story and they make it larger than life. Six dragons.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Who cares if it was six hundred dragons?

SPEAKER_10 31:45

I don't. Why do you? I don't know. I've been angry about a lot lately. Seeing Boro Cain, my father, and then he turns out to be a vampire, and not even really himself, but Dracula? He can't make that up. I don't know why I'm always so angry, Seth.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

I don't think you're angry, Jenna. I just think you're unhappy. It's manifesting as anger, jealousy, rage. the works.

SPEAKER_10 32:16

You're right. I'm lashing out at everything. I'm jealous of you because you're so good. You will literally help anybody. That's the best part about you. Better than super strength, flying, or any other power. You love radically. Like Alien. And no sword ever gave you that. Can you forgive me? Nothing to forgive. You sure? I was kind of an asshole to you just now.

SPEAKER_07 32:59

The fact that you can own it and ask for forgiveness is plenty. You two all done with your love a spat.

SPEAKER_10 33:05

I have half a mind to throw you overboard, stupid pirate.

SPEAKER_07 33:09

An half of me would like to see you try while you're all bound in those silver chains, honey bun. Now, before the chatty necro here decided to rudely interrupt us, I was explaining why we need ya, Thamro. You can turn into the strongest man in the bloody realm. You carry the edge of destiny. The what? You mean convergence? No, young Thamro. The edge of destiny. Do you not even know the name of your bloody weapon? Yeah, her name is Convergence. That ain't her name, boy. I had heard that you'd been hit by a spell that robbed you of your memories a while back. I see now that it's true. That there is the bloody edge of destiny, the sword of the Thamros. The man or woman who carries that carries the power of every Thamro that ever lived. How else do you think you get so strong? How else do you think you can fly, run fast, fight in all those styles? Ill so bloody quick.

SPEAKER_10 34:10

Wait, he'll run fast. Seth can't do any of those things. At least we've never seen you do them.

SPEAKER_07 34:17

Well, at any rate, that is why we bloody need ya. There hasn't been a Thamro carrying the edge since Dad Bannon. After he gave it all up to be a priest of Elion, the sword vanished. Then we heard about a kid with a red T on his head and belt, running around fighting dragons, carrying a sword that could talk. And we knew that the Thamros were really back. With you and the Edge, we can defeat the Ghost Mariners and steal the gold of the dragon. Make sense?

SPEAKER_10 34:48

I'm sure this all makes sense to you, Sid, but honestly, this is a really stupid idea. Stupid?

SPEAKER_07 34:55

Why do you say that?

SPEAKER_10 34:56

You already said it yourself. Even if you drag Zeth in and manage to get past the Ghost Mariners and steal the gold of the dragon, then what? Where are you going to spend it? What would you even spend it on?

SPEAKER_07 35:13

I would spend it on this.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Pirate Sid removed a medallion he wore to reveal that everything anyone had been seeing prior to now had been a magical illusion. Pirate Sid was actually a living skeleton. He was literally a walking pile of bones. No flesh to be found anywhere on him. What happened to you?

SPEAKER_07 35:45

Eh It's a long bloody story. The short version is my wife was kidnapped by someone someone powerful. By who? If I knew that, do you think I'd be sitting here talking to the likes of you? I'd be going after the bloody bastards who kidnapped my wife. All I know is the animals who took her were powerful enough to do this to me as motivation to pay a ransom.

SPEAKER_10 36:10

Why would you need additional motivation to ransom the woman you love?

SPEAKER_07 36:16

I never said nothing about loving her, Jenekis. I was gonna let the heifer rot. Best day of my bloody life was the day they kidnapped her, but then they turned me into a bloody skeleton. If I ever want to be flesh and blood again, I have to give em more gold than any man can earn in twelve lifetimes. Oh and I get my bloody wife back. To be honest, if I could figure out a way to reserve this, I'd let her rot. You're a horrible person, Pirate Sid.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Why should we help you? You won't help your own wife.

SPEAKER_07 36:49

Spend an hour with her and tell me if that don't change your bloody mind.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

I get it, you fell out of love with her. That doesn't change the fact that she's a person in need, and you were ready to just let her rot. I should let you stay a pile of bones.

SPEAKER_07 37:04

You're not exactly in a position to make that choice, young.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

Are you telling me you could have done that the whole time? Yep. You don't deserve my help, Sid, but I am going to help you anyway. I may not know all about this sword or the history of the people I represent as Thamro, but I know who I am. And Seth, Thamro, with the help of his friends and fueled by the power of Elyon, helps those in need. We'll find the Apollonia and we'll talk to the ghost mariners. Maybe they know who kidnapped your wife. And if they do, we'll bring the pain to those people and help you get your life back.

SPEAKER_07 37:49

Why in all of Welkin would you think a bunch of ghost mariners would know who her kidnappers are? Or that even if they do, that they talk to you. Well, for one, they're ghosts.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

That means they've been around a while. Two, they sail around the whole world, probably seen and or heard all kinds of things, rumors, etc. They might even know a cure for your condition. And if they don't, I happen to be related to two very powerful mages. Not to mention Jenna here is a powerful necromancer.

SPEAKER_07 38:19

We can help you. You would do this for me after I kidnapped you. Why? Because that's what Elion would do.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Pirate Cid, his crew, Jenna and Seth, found the Apollonia docked on the shores of Kintis. Against his better judgment, but at the urging of Seth, Pirate Cid left his crew behind. Only Seth and Jenna went with him as they approached the ship. Its crew was unloading boxes onto the shore. And they were indeed but ghost mariners. They were green vapours that, for a moment, resembled human beings, only to then turn back into vapors. And yet, somehow, these incorporeal beings could impact the physical world. They carried boxes, crates, sacks, all sorts of goods from the ship to the shores.

SPEAKER_07 39:23

That don't look like gold. What do you mean? Them supplies they're carrying, that ain't gold.

SPEAKER_10 39:28

That looks like food and clothes and other essentials. Maybe that ship does more than shuttle the world economy around on the seas.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

My grandfather told me that Elyon has churches all over Welkin, but they have to stay hidden because his church has been outlawed because of something bad that happened.

SPEAKER_07 39:44

Your granddaddy was talking about the Agents of Thorn.

SPEAKER_10 39:47

The Hidden League of Assassins? Well, they have a temple sitting out in plain sight near the town of Twin Swords, so maybe the not so hidden League of Assassins is more appropriate.

SPEAKER_07 39:58

Yep. The Agents of Thorn were born out of the sins of a priest of Elyon.

SPEAKER_12 40:03

No. The Agents of Thorn were in existence long before Priest James died in Lord Molloch's private orgy. But the birth of the ghost was the result of the mistakes of that night. And the ghost, at least to hear the bards tell it, once killed more people in a single month than were born in a calendar year. So one might see where a loose connection could be made. People associate Elion with death, granted, unfairly so, because of the murderous actions of the ghost. Consequently, the church and its followers are being eradicated. Sadly, the people fear Elion.

SPEAKER_07 40:42

Patricia. Is that is that you?

SPEAKER_12 40:46

My name is Apollonia now.

SPEAKER_07 40:48

But I thought you were kidnapped?

SPEAKER_12 40:51

I was. I got free. No thanks to you, husband.

SPEAKER_07 40:55

How? Who kidnapped you?

SPEAKER_12 40:57

That is a lengthy tale. A better question is why are you here?

SPEAKER_07 41:02

I've been looking for you for decades now.

SPEAKER_12 41:04

You've been looking for a cure for your disease. Not me. Let me guess, you were going to try to steal the gold from this ship to pay off my ransom and restore your body.

SPEAKER_07 41:16

That was the idea, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 41:18

Brought the Thamrose with you and everything. I don't even think the edge of destiny is powerful enough to restore your soul. Ironic that the very thing you thought would be your salvation will be your doom. There's no gold on that ship.

SPEAKER_07 41:32

You're lying. You think this is funny.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

I think it's hilarious. How is there no gold on the ship? Isn't it supposed to be the floating reserve of Welkin? It used to be. I spent all of the gold.

SPEAKER_07 41:45

Now I know you're lying. You couldn't spend the gold. It's hand-coated.

SPEAKER_12 41:50

Yes, it is. And money is just a means of exchange. Once I gained control of the ship, I traded the gold for goods, food, clothes, etc., to help people all around the realm. That's why we're here. Your wisdom serves you well, young Thamro. Elyon's church is indeed here on Kintis. As we've both now alluded, people fear Elyon because of the whole thing with the agents of Thorn. So his church has to stay hidden. These supplies are for them.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

You're doing Elion's work, but you're willing to let Sid stay like this?

SPEAKER_12 42:23

Why would I help him? Why would you help them and not him? This from a Thamro! A clan whose bloody history stretches all over the face of the realm. The ghost takes lives. The edge of destiny takes names. Entire nations have been brought to dust under the hands of the women and men that have wielded that blade over the centuries. Or don't you know what those crimson T's on your belt and helm really stand for? The Thamros know nothing about helping people.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

I know that Sid needs our help, and you're denying him.

SPEAKER_12 42:54

You don't know him, young warrior.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

Arrogant pirate, selfish, greedy, not too bright, but in a smart kind of way.

SPEAKER_12 43:01

I stand corrected.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

He's not perfect. None of us are. Doesn't mean we shouldn't help each other.

SPEAKER_12 43:07

Perhaps I misjudged you, Thamro. For the record, I do help people. Good people. The people getting these supplies are good people.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

The people getting these supplies are flawed, sinful people who have chosen to follow a good god. That's all.

SPEAKER_12 43:24

Sid never loved me. He only married me because my family was rich. You know who kidnapped me, Sidworth? I did. I had myself kidnapped. I need popcorn. This is just way too good.

SPEAKER_07 43:39

Ow. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_12 43:41

Yeah, staged the whole thing to see whether or not you really loved me. And then it backfired. The agreement I had with my kidnappers was that they would be paid with the ransom money. And if you refused to pay, I would pay them an agreed amount once they'd returned me home.

SPEAKER_07 43:58

I'm guessing they had plans of their own.

SPEAKER_12 44:01

They did indeed. Like you. They got greedy. Once you didn't pay, they used blood magic to turn you into the skeleton you are now. And then they fleeced my parents for ransom money, but never returned me home. Instead, they sold me into slavery. I have been violated in every imaginable way. And all because of you.

SPEAKER_07 44:26

No, not me. You. You decided to kidnap yourself to prove a point. I never did that.

SPEAKER_12 44:34

If you had loved me, then I wouldn't have ever needed to try to prove it.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

Miss You have to forgive him.

SPEAKER_12 44:41

I don't have to do anything. Now, young Samuel, if you and your friend know what's good for you, you'll turn around and head back to that pirate ship.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Okay. We'll leave. But all of us.

SPEAKER_12 44:56

No.

SPEAKER_10 44:58

Sid stays with me. To what end? Petty revenge? Look at him, sister. He's a stupid skeleton. You are a survivor. You took a tragic situation and turned it into feeding and clothing people in need around the realm. In my eyes? You're a hero. Don't ruin that by doing the very thing this piece of garbage did. And what would that be? Live long enough to become the villain.

SPEAKER_12 45:27

Fine. He can go. But if I ever see him again, all bets are off.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

What about his cure?

SPEAKER_12 45:35

You're pushing your luck here, kid.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

No, I'm not. You took on the mantle of a floating bank, the Apollonia, which the whole realm believes is carrying treasure inside. But the real treasure is hidden deep within, which means you gotta dig for it. The real treasure is hidden inside her captain. The real treasure is that her captain gave away the gold in exchange for things people need. And she sails the realm helping them in spite of a tragic past. The Apollonia is still a floating bank. And I'm banking on you really being a good person deep down inside.

SPEAKER_10 46:16

Hey, floating bank, banking on her being good. I see what you did there.

SPEAKER_12 46:23

Sid, you don't deserve a nice kid like this in your life.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

So then you'll give him the cure.

SPEAKER_12 46:28

He was never really bewitched, kid. The spell they used on him simply reflects who he is on the inside. A callous, greedy, dead person. That's why the magical bauble he wears can cast the illusion that he's still human. If Sid changes his ways, then his humanity will be restored all on its own. Now then, I believe that concludes our business.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

Nice to meet you, uh I'm Seth, and this is Jenna.

SPEAKER_12 46:56

Nice to meet you, Seth and Jenna. You two make a cute couple. Oh, we're not together. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_07 47:04

So, uh, where is the actual gold anyway?

SPEAKER_12 47:09

Goodbye, Sid.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Thamro and Jenna arrived in Quarless and were escorted into the courtroom, where Bilsby the Bard was awaiting his fate. Thamro was given a few moments alone with Bilsby, and was hoping to get some insight into who exactly he would have to vanquish in order to save his friend.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

Sorry it took me so long. I got here as quickly as I could.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

Oh, Bearsby's just glad you made it here at all. What with Dracula and pirates and the like? How'd you hear about all that way over here in Quarlis? Bardic knowledge. Remember? You think old Bisbee would use that talent to help himself stay out of these types of predicaments, but alas, he don't.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Before I do this, I need to know that you didn't do what you were accused of.

SPEAKER_04 48:02

Old Bearsby would never do that, Sad. Old Bilsby loves Annie. This be her daddy's handiwork.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Same as before, huh? Pretty much. Well, Convergence and I are ready. Who am I facing?

SPEAKER_04 48:16

You won't be needing your magical sword, young Seth. All you be needing is your magical vocal cords.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

What are you talking about? This is trial by combat, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:25

Let it be, Laddie. But my weapon of choice be music. Music? Well, Bilsby be a bard after all. O Billsby will play the music for ya. All you gotta do is sing.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Bilsby, singing isn't really my thing.

SPEAKER_04 48:43

Me begs to differ. Oh, Bilsby remembers when you sang to cheer up Jenna that one time way back in season one. Fair point, but that wasn't with an audience and with your life on the line. You just need to find your inspiration. Bethinks Jenna can help you there. Sing to her, lad. We all know the both you got those feelings for each other. Sing from the heart, lad.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Whew.

SPEAKER_04 49:07

Okay. I'll try. Am I up first? No. Your opponent goes up first. He's coming up now. And he's a talented one, lad. Singin' about birthday cakes and the like.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

It's my birthday. It's your birthday. I'ma eat my birthday, cake. It's your cake. It's my birthday.

unknown 49:27

It's your birthday.

SPEAKER_03 49:28

I'ma eat my birthday, cake. It's your cake, bruh. It's my birthday. I'ma eat my birthday, cake. It's your birthday. It's my birthday. I are I'ma eat my birthday, it's my birthday. It's your birthday. I can do whatever I want.

unknown 49:45

Whatever you want.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

It's my birthday, cake. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. I'ma eat my birthday, cake. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. I'ma eat my birthday, cake. It's a birthday cake. It's my birthday. It's a birthday. I'ma eat my birthday, cake. It's my birthday. I won't eat your birthday cake. And all the ice and all the ice. You don't get to have no ice and ice. Cause it's all my cake. And it's all for me. It's all for me. You can't have none. All for me. All of it is for me. All of it for me. Birthday. It's your birthday. I won't eat my birthday, cake. It's your birthday cake. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. I won't eat my birthday cake. It's my birthday. And I'ma keep old and cake. That you before you're birthday. It's your birthday. I'm baby my birthday, cake. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. I won't be my birthday, K. It's your birthday cake. It's my birthday. Birthday cake. Birthday for me.

SPEAKER_15 51:17

That's pretty good. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 51:19

You got to be better, Laddie. Um sing to Jenna.

SPEAKER_15 51:26

Jenna. I see you standing there. Oh Jenna. With your pretty hair.

SPEAKER_14 51:37

Um we've traveled far and wide, turned evil on its side for now. For now, Jenna. The way your spell was cast, Oh Jenna. A magic short end up. The way your spell was cannot, Oh Jenna. A magic short almost. How many ways to say I'm thankful every day for you for you? I'm saying how I feel. I hope you know it's real. It's you. It's you know the way your spell was cast. Oh channel. A magic shoulder chat up. The way your spell was cast on magic shorter how many ways to say I'm thankful every day for you for you. I'm saying how I feel. I hope you know it's real. It's you who you're saying to keep you knew. It's a time, it's a time you knew Jenna.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

As the crowd jeered, Jenna ran over to Zephyr, pulled up his mask, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him powerfully. Billsby, meanwhile, was freed from his bonds, much to the chagrin of King Wolfgang. He swore he would have his vengeance. Annie eventually tired of her father's manipulation and ran away from home, joining the college of bards, hoping to become like her long-lost love, Billsby. Rumor has it that they did ultimately find one another, and at long last, the Gigolo Bard gave up his bachelor ways and married the woman he had always loved most of all, Princess Annie, the bard. And like all good fairy tales, they lived happily ever after.