Ep 3: I Can't Expect "me" from Other People with Kim Moore

Meet Today's Guest:

Kim Moore is a mother of two, proud dog mom, and lifelong dentistry professional whose journey has been shaped by resilience, growth, and a genuine love for helping people. After beginning her career as a dental hygienist, she quickly discovered that what she loved most about dentistry went beyond clinical care; it was connecting with patients, educating others, and creating an environment where people felt heard and cared for.

Her career has since evolved from Hygiene Lead to Office Integrator and now General Manager overseeing two practices. With a Bachelor's Degree in Dental Hygiene and a recent Human Resources certification from Villanova University, Kim continues to invest in her growth and leadership. She believes our goals and dreams only have the limits we place on them and that as long as we're willing to keep learning and step outside our comfort zones, there's always another chapter waiting to be written.

Connect with Kim

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberlymoorerdh/

Connect with Fry Girl Fundamentals

Website: Visit Now
LinkedIn: Connect with me
Instagram: Follow Us

Subscribe to Fry Girl Fundamentals for leadership lessons from unlikely leaders.

Leadership isn't about where you start. It's about who you become.

Thanks for listening to Fry Girl Fundamentals.
Follow the show so you never miss an episode.
Connect with us: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram
Interested in bringing Mildred Hill in to speak or train your team? Visit mildredhillconsulting.com.
Leadership isn't about where you start. It's about who you become.

Transcript

Copy

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Welcome to Fry Girl Fundamentals. I'm Mildred Hill. I believe some of life's greatest leadership lessons come from unlikely places. For me, that journey started at the Fry Station. Each week, we'll have honest conversations about leadership, growth, resilience, and the people who shape us along the way. Whether you lead a team, a business, or simply want to become a better version of yourself. I'm glad you're here. Let's get into it. All right, Kim. Thank you so much for joining. Coming in on Two Wheels as usual. Kim is a mom of two and she is running a multi-location million-dollar practice today. I won't give too much of your story away, but I've known Kim for 10 years. I don't know if you know that or not, but it's it's been it's been uh it's been 10 years. It's been fun. Um if you hear me refer to him as Kay, I am a little bit lazy, but also I only give letters to my to my friends. Um other people I call them by by their name, but Kim has been prone to call me out on my crap, one of like a handful of people that will do so. And so I think that's why I have stuck by her, or rather, she's stuck by me. I don't let her leave. But Kim is one of those people that if you know her, you love her, and she's the friend to everyone. So Kim, let's, you know, you know I mean that. Let's let's start out by people use the word chill or she's steady or she's calm.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

But um, they use it casually, but I I don't see it as a personality trait. I see it as a discipline. Where did it come from? How did you develop it?

SPEAKER_03 2:03

Honestly, I feel like it may just be how I was raised, honestly. My dad was in the military, um, very disciplined. Um, there wasn't a lot of commotion or drama growing up. I feel like it was a very chill atmosphere, and that's what I was raised in. So that's what I know. Um, I don't like when things feel hectic and chaotic. Um, so I think it comes across really easy for me because it feels if I'm just chill, like I feel like it feels right. It feels like I'm in my environment, I'm in my lane, I can focus, I can work better that way. I feel like I could communicate better that way. If it's like chaotic and crazy, I can't. I can't even focus. I'm squirrel all over the place. So I like to be chill.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Uh I love that you said squirrel because there have been many of times that I would come in your opera and we would go so left, and you would like, hey, like I'll back in. How do you deal with um very high energy people like me who can be, you know, a little, I call it I an energy bunny, but I can be a little bit Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

I mean, I feel like because I feel like I'm very even, I'm very even tempered. So if I'm dealing with someone that has a lot of energy, it's exciting because I'm not that person. So to see it, I'm like, ooh, this is great, it's fun. Then I'm like, okay, calm back down. Like the party, the party's over, it's too much. Um, so I don't think it's hard. I just adapt. I'm very adaptable. I can adapt to pretty much any situation. Um now if it's too much and for too long, I might need to retreat a little bit so I can have a moment of peace and just to bring myself back down. But being in my position, I run across all types of personalities. So I have to be able to adapt because they're not going to change who they are, and I don't expect them to. So I have to be able to adapt to who they are and allow them to be who they are, you know. So it's just part of part of the process, part of being in leadership.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

But I mean, did they teach that when you were in college?

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Not really. No, no, not at all. I think this is something I had to kind of like, and it's not always been this way. Not always. Like, I think as I've gotten older, there's certain things that I've had to like just pick up on my own and learn on my own. If you try to change somebody, and I have growing up, I'm like, I don't like this part of you. I want you to be more like this, and you realize that doesn't work. You want somebody to be who they truly are to the to the core, that's who they are. Um, I don't want somebody to be who I want them to be. So it's not something that's taught. I think it's just something that I've learned along the way.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

When did you realize that you want that person to be who they really are? Is it because you realized you couldn't change them? Or like what was that that defining moment for you?

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Um I've had feedback that sometimes I expect me from other people. And I've learned that you can't do that because every time you expect you from somebody, you're gonna be disappointed because you're not gonna get you from somebody else. And I think it took disappointment for me to realize that. And then I had to think to myself, would I want someone to change me? No. So would I want someone to be able to still be around me and adapt and still want to work with me and do life with me? Yes. So I have to do the same, you know? It can't just be, oh, because I'm chill and I don't have the bubbly personality and I'm not all high strung and energy, it's not fair for someone else to be that. Like he made us all different for a reason. So it's balance.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

You I feel like we could end the show right there, and and I'm not kidding because I've never heard it put that way. I can't expect me from other people. I hear my husband's voice, like when I get frustrated with people, I want them to think the way I think, process the way I process and behave. And I don't understand, like I don't understand what don't you see. But when you said that, I promise you, like, in all sincerity, it was clarity for me. So I'm getting that on a bumper sticker, literally. Um in my audience. So Kim has a really cool story, despite from just being like a truly amazing human being. But Kim started out as a hygienist. And when I met her, she was a hygienist and then you know, moved her way up to her role as a GM. They don't really run titles there, but she's she's she's uh, I almost said something, the head uh person in charge, but we had a filter for my audience and for once.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

For once, you had a filter.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

But um like you would never know it. If you saw her, you would never know that she is the one behind the scenes running the show, keeping everybody happy, keeping the culture and the morale up. Kim, talk to me about that that journey because it's it's not the average bear.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

No. Well, honestly, when before I even started as a hygienist, I truly wanted to go to school to be a dentist. And I've always been infactuated with teeth, I've always been infactuated with smiles. Um, I just feel like someone smiled that could light up a room. Someone smile could change your day. You know, you could be in a bad mood, not having the greatest day, and someone could just smile at you and it completely changes it. So I knew I wanted to be in dentistry, but I wanted to be a dentist. Um, but during the process of taking like courses, my prereqs and going through school, I decided to get married. Um, I decided to have two children. And so I was like, you know what? There was a couple of breaks in the process of school. And I was like, well, let me just make sure, because this is a lot of school, this is what I truly want to do. So I went ahead and went to hygiene school first because I was like, if I like dentistry like I think I will, then I'll go on from there. And when I left hygiene school, I thought I was a brain surgeon, how much school it was. It was like so much time, so much everything. And I thought I had to really sit down and have a conversation with myself. Like, do you want to leave your kids again for more time? Miss these opportunities to watch them grow up. Um, because you know, school is so demanding of your time. I didn't have time to do things with them that I wanted to do. So I had to really think about that. And I really liked hygiene. So it wasn't like I was settling. I was like, I actually like it. I love the patient interaction, um, I love the educating part of it. It was great. So I said, I think I'll be good with hygiene. But I knew in the back of my mind, I didn't want to only just be a hygienist. So after I was done with um temple college, I decided to go get my bachelor's degree because I knew I wanted to be able to do more than just the clinical side. So that's always been something that was on the back of my mind. And while working as a hygienist, um, I helped in the front. I made phone calls, I scheduled appointments, I just made sure I was continuously learning, learned about insurance, learned how to read insurance, so many things that some people don't do. Some people just know their one rule and that's it. And that's fine if that's what they were comfortable with, but I wanted to know more. Um, given the opportunity to work at the um office that I'm at now, it allowed for that, it allowed for that growth. It allowed like um, I've been blessed to have somebody that wants to feed into you, wants to teach you, wants all of that for you. He wants growth. And it was never like, hey, I think I want to do this. It was kind of like, hey, I think you'll be good at this. And even sometimes when I doubted myself, there was reassurance. There was reassurance from you, there was reassurance from him. Um, it went from being, hey, I'm just coming on as the new hygienist to hey, now you're gonna be the hygiene lead. And I'm like, okay, I think I could do that. Like, I'm fine with doing that. I feel like um I'm very responsible. The years of experience that I already had, some of the girls they were newer, so it was easier for me to be like, share my knowledge with them, share how things that I've done in the past, how has been beneficial for me. Um, so that was cool. It was still within my comfort zone. Then it went from being the hygiene lead to the office integrator, and I still remember that conversation. And after I agreed to it, I was like, what did I disagree to? Like, I don't know if this was the right decision. And I'm like, freak it out, panic, and then I just had to bring myself back down, and I was like, you can do this, it's fine. Um, and I just like to research, I like to make sure I'm putting my best foot forward at all times. I don't want anyone to feel like I failed. Well, I don't want to feel like I failed them. I don't think they'll feel like it. I feel like I'm my worst critic. So I'm always trying to make sure I'm doing everything as perfectly as I can. Um, so I went from being the integrator, and then it was like, hey, now there's another position that's open. Um, again, the reach out. We think that you would be the best fit for this. We talked about it, and out of everybody, we think that you would fall into this position very well. Again, I was like, this time I didn't agree quickly. I was like, let me think about this. I was like, let me think about this because I need to really know if this is where my heart's at. I was like, because I definitely don't want to come into something that I didn't want or that I'm forced into. And I wanted to make sure my heart's in it because if my heart's not in it, then I can't fully be the best person that I need to be for this company, for the people that work here. And I care about both the company and the people that work here. So I just wanted to make sure that it was the right fit for me. And I agreed to it, and here we are. So and we're just flourishing and learning more every day.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

I love that. You know, Kim, I remember the first time um I stepped into dental out of the restaurant world, and I remember looking around and going to courses and seminars and other offices and realizing there wasn't a lot of mirrors. What has been your experience coming from the clinical now to you know running multiple locations? What's been your experience when you step into other rooms and there aren't a lot of mirrors? And by mirrors, for those of you who don't understand, uh windows and mirrors are important. And so mirrors are people when you look mirrors when you look into the mirror and you see somebody that looks like you. And the windows, when you look out the window, should be others, right? And so in the dental space, um, over my career, I have found there aren't a lot of mirrors. What's been your experience?

SPEAKER_03 13:24

I agree a hundred percent. Um, it's been that way since I went to hygiene school. Um, there wasn't a lot of mirrors in hygiene school. There's been very few in the different offices that I've worked in. Um, but I feel like it's growing and I feel like I'm starting to see a lot more, and I'm thankful for it. And I feel like I'm blessed to be in this position as for as long as I have been, to be in this um profession. Because I feel like now other people can say that they do have mirrors, and that makes them feel more comfortable and makes them feel like they could come ask you questions and be like, I have someone that I could kind of relate to a little bit more. Um, so it's definitely a blessing to be able to be that person. Um, and it was something I thought about. I really thought about it. I've even had people when I decided to go into dental hygiene, they were like, Are you sure about that? And I'm like, why wouldn't I be? And it was the same thing. There's not a lot of people that look like you. And I was like, well, then maybe you need to make a change to that.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I wasn't gonna go there, but I'm really, I'm really, I'm really glad. I'm really glad. Um so uh I'll speak for me. I learned about EQ along uh alongside um with you, but I feel like you already had it in you. Um high EQ people really I feel like take in a lot. What do you do with the tension or frustration um or the pressure that most people don't see right? Because the words calm, steady, chill, that's just what people know about you. But people with really high IQ like you, you take it all in because we don't see it. So what do you do with it?

SPEAKER_03 15:15

I've had to learn a lot along the way because it is overwhelming, it can be overwhelming. Um, but I feel like it's just like any other part of your life, it could be overwhelming. So I've me personally, I've gotten into therapy because I feel like that helps. Um, it helps me talk about my feelings, um, it helps me process things also from a different way that I probably don't think about it. And so I'm like, oh, I thought of it this way, but then when I talk to somebody about it, they're like, Did you ever consider it this way? And I'm like, no, I didn't. But now that you say that, that makes a lot more sense. Um I make sure that I try to stay active. I found out that I well, I always knew I hated going to the gym. The gym is just not my favorite place to be. It's not my favorite place to be at all. However, I've started to look at it differently. I've been looking at the gym instead of hey, hey, I'm going to the gym to go get healthy, or I'm going to the gym to lose weight, or I'm going to the gym for these reasons. I tell my sick friends, I'm busy. Like you said, I'm always busy. I have a kid that's very active. I'm all over the world with this child. So I don't have a lot of me time. So I take the gym and I use that as my me time. I'm like, this is where I could decompress. This is not just me walking on the treadmill because I want to get my calorie deficit. It's for me to be able to like really like close out everything, focus on the moment, whatever it is I want to do, if I want to listen to a podcast while I'm there, if I'm wanting to watch a show on my phone while I'm there, or if I just don't want to hear nothing. And I just have my headphones and I just have music on. So I feel like it's a really good reset. So I know that that's so important because if your cup's empty, you can't pour into no one else's cup. An empty cup is useless. So I have to find ways that it's gonna constantly fill my cup. If not, I'm not, I'm doing my team a disservice because I have nothing to give them. Um so a lot of times people are like, oh, she has it all together. I've learned ways throughout the time to keep trying to have it together. We all fall short, but I feel like for the most part, I found my outlet because also I don't think people, a lot of people behind closed doors, they don't see when you're in a leadership position all the things that you do when you're not in front of them. They don't see all the extra hours that you put in in work, how much above and beyond you have to go for a certain situation to get it handled for them. Um, and it's okay that they don't have to see it because I'm not the type of person that requires recognition. As long as I get it done, that's enough for me. But since they don't see it, sometimes it gets a little lonely if you don't have anybody that can relate that you could express your concerns or your thoughts to. Um, so I have to make sure that I have that because if not, I don't want it to bottle up and I start having like resentment or anything like that. So I just make sure I have ways to communicate my feelings and ways to refuel myself so that I go in every day or every week at least, try to go in every week with a full cup.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

I love that you said that because I have always said the higher you go, the lonelier it is. Um if if you're doing it right. And and I say that because safe spaces, right? You can't you can't share everything with everyone. And you need your own safe spaces to vent, and you know, husbands, spouses, friends, and you know, that level of professionalism and keeping people's confidence and or just needing to vent. So I love that you said number one therapy. I love that you said, which I'm in therapy, and I mean I think the whole world needs to be in therapy. Um, I number two, yeah, the treadmill is what tore my meniscus because it it is. I mean, just getting after it. And I so um, but what like before therapy, where like it is lonely at the top. It's very lonely. Because when someone upsets you, an employee, you can't go to another employee because when you're at the top, there aren't there's nobody at your level.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

So you feel like you're by yourself, like you're having to take on this, you're on the top of the mountain, but you're the one that has to take on this whole mountain by yourself, and there's no one else that can like in your mind, there's no one else that can help you. So, like you said, a spouse, a therapist, a friend, somebody outside of your organization that has they don't know anything. They don't know anything about the person, they don't know, they're just all they know is what you're saying. But I also feel like it's really important for someone that's also comfortable with checking you. So if it's something that you're doing incorrectly, something that you could have done differently, I don't want anyone that's just gonna be like, oh yeah, you're right, Kim, you're right, you're right. Like if I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong. Or if I approach something the wrong way or could have done it better, tell me that. Because that's the only way we're also gonna grow. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

And I, you know, that's Kim why I led with that, because people all people love you, but people either loved me or hated me because of, you know, one reason or another and not everyone's cup of tea. But you when I say seriously that you're probably one of, you know, five people that would really call me out on my stuff. And I think that's why I really liked you. Like, okay. But if I didn't hear it, I wouldn't have done things differently. So I hope I hope my listeners really heard that is that when you when you do go to vent or speak or whatever, you don't need a yes man, you don't need a high man, you need somebody that's gonna be honest with you.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Um, has your calm or chill ever been mistaken for weakness?

SPEAKER_03 21:16

I feel like often. Um, I feel like sometimes, especially right now, because I split my time between two locations. So I'm not there like before I was at one location five days a week. So they got all of my time, they got all of me, and now I'm splitting it between two. So the other location, they don't, I don't want to say they don't know me as well, but they don't know me as well because I haven't ever been there five days a week every day for five years. So I feel like one location might know me a little bit better to know that that's just who I am and not to take it offensively, but the other one, they're still trying to get to know me, and I'm still trying to get To know them. So sometimes I feel like my calm could come off as passive or like um whatever their concern is is beneath me and they need to go to someone else for it. So I do try because I'm aware of it. I'm aware. So I do try to make sure I communicate with people. I want to stop in and just check in on you. And it takes them aback. They'd be like, oh no, she's talking to me. Why? What did I do? And I'm like, nothing. I just want to check on you. I just want to see how you're doing. Like, because I feel like that allows people to know that you care and you see them as a human, not just as the check-in girl or the RDA. It brings that relationship so that they can truly get to know me. That, yeah, I may just be chill, but I do see you. And if you have a concern, I want to come talk to you in person, eye to eye, to let you know I hear you, I see what you're going through, whatever your concern is. If it's something that I could fix for you, I'm trying to work on that for you. And I feel like having that communication and just checking in on people and trying to build those relationships just a little bit here and there goes a long way. Cause then they know I don't just like walk past them in the hallway, like, hi, and just keep it going and leave everything to someone else to have to deal with that usually is around them more often. Um, but yeah, I've had someone actually tell me that they were drowning in their workload, but they never came to me about it and went to someone else about it. And you know how that goes, it goes to someone else about it, whatever, whatever comes back to you, and it's just like, why didn't you say something? You know, I also let them vent about how they felt. Why do you feel this way? Okay, I respect that, but why didn't you say anything to me? Like I can't fix something that I don't know. And they're like, Oh, I thought you did know. I mean, how would I know? So it goes all goes back to communication again. Everything just comes back to communication if they're able to communicate with me, but I try to make sure I open up to them and communicate with them because I feel like it's a little bit easier for me to go to them than then to cut me because they're just like, Oh my god, it's the boss. I don't want to, I don't want to even make eye contact. I'm trying to hide. I'm like, Yeah, and I don't get it because in my mind I'm just Kim. So I'm like, why do you feel that way? And they're like, What do you mean? Why do I feel that way?

SPEAKER_01 24:18

So I love that you just said that because someone someone called me out, and I think you're gonna know this term, and used the words fix your face. I don't know if you remember that, Kim. Yeah, it was you. And I didn't understand because I would walk into the building thinking of all the things I needed to do for the day, right? I'm ruminating head down, and I wasn't realizing what people were seeing on my face and interpreting it. So thank you for that too.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Um, I haven't moved that for myself because I know I could tell when I'm in deep thought, the eyebrows are scrunched, I'm in deep thought, and they're like, you look mad, and I'm like, no, I'm just really thinking. I have so many things going through my head right now. So I get it. I completely understand where you were at, but I have to remind myself too. I'm like, oh, your eyebrows are scrunched. Relax, relax, fix your face.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

And we need to come get a little bow document.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Oh my god. All right, Tim. What do you think most practice managers get wrong when it comes to leading people? We've talked about a lot, but AI can solve a lot. You know, these new systems, automated things can solve a lot, but technology can't solve the human problem yet. So what do you think leaders today are getting wrong when it comes to dealing with people?

SPEAKER_03 25:50

I honestly feel like there's a few things, honestly. So there are some that I feel like they like the title of being a leader, but they don't really know what it means to be a leader. And some think that being a leader is just telling people what to do. You go do this, you go do that, you go do this. And they don't realize they're not building any relationships with their team. They're not building any um, they're not, their team doesn't see them as someone they could go to and trust. And if they have like feedback, they're like, oh, I don't want to tell them that because all she's doing is bossing me around and telling me what to do, but she's not doing anything herself. There's no leading by example in those situations. Um, so I always try to tell people that if you want to be a leader, it's more pouring into your team. How are you gonna help your team grow? What are you gonna do to help your team grow and show that you have their back? That's like the number one thing. Because when somebody feels safe in their position, they'll bend over backwards for you because they know you're gonna do the same thing for them. But if you're just telling people where to go, go, go, and there's no compassion, there's because like you said about AI, AI just can't show compassion, AI can't show empathy, AI can't show support. So those are things that maybe one day like you said they might be able to, it might be able to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, but right now it can't make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. We're the only ones that can make another human feel warm and fuzzy inside. But I also think sometimes people take it to an extreme, they want to be the warm and fuzzy, and they don't ever want to be the bad guy. And there needs to be a balance. You have to some, you still have to be professional, you still have to be whatever's best for the business. Sometimes it's not good conversations that you want to have, and that's just what comes with it. But there's also times where you just need to have a little bit more compassion and not say, like, okay, this is what the rule is. Why didn't you stick to it? And just kind of hear them out. Like, what's going on? What's different? I noticed there's something different about you. Let's talk about it. I want to get you back to where you need to be, um, and just go from there. But I feel like those are the main things, just not leading by example, not having any compassion, um, and then or to the other extreme, not being able to have those hard conversations, not being able to teach your team, hey, I do love you, but the reason why I'm so hard on you is because I do love you and I want you to grow and I know it, I see it in you, and we got to stick to business, and this is what the business requires, you know. So I feel like when you have those conversations with them, they're like, okay, I get it. And they respect you more for it.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Yeah, um, you said something about titles, and immediately I I was thinking the the title whores. Um, I I I was talking with a client the other day, and she mentioned May had a chief um RDA. And I was like, what? And and but the chief RDA didn't assist. And so yeah, and so anyway, I and that when you mentioned that about you know, they want the title but don't really understand like the leadership people component. I thought about this um title whore. And yeah, it's it's wild. All these crazy have you by the way, have you heard of that achieve or never, ever in my life.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

This this person's salary now.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

They're they're assalaried in food now.

SPEAKER_03 29:27

Oh and they don't assist, and they don't assist must be nice.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

They can't fill it for anybody. I was like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_03 29:36

And that's like the biggest thing, too. Like, I feel like people don't realize they think, oh, leadership, you're a boss. You don't realize that person works harder or should should be working harder than anybody on their team. They should be doing everything they possibly can to make their team's job easier, which is putting more of that pressure on them. So it's a good title, but you don't know what comes with it.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Preach, girl. Um, Kevin Hart just said I was watching his roast the other night. By the way, I don't know if you saw, but it's three hours. Three hours and 20-something minutes, but it's so good. But he said something at the end that, right, everybody wants the fame and the fortune, but nobody wants to do the work to get there. And so, same exact concept. Um I was talking to Jay and uh who Jay, if you're listening, I hope you're on soon. Uh she's traveling with her own puppy. But um, she said that when she moved and and started working with this practice and she picked up the phone, she said the team's heads turned and said, like, what are you doing? That nobody, no manager had ever picked up a phone call. And so it goes a long way. We should be able to work circles around our people. And I think that leaders forget we work for them, we are there to provide support and guidance for them.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

Exactly. You have to get down and dirty with them. You can't leave them down there and be like, oh, that's beneath the no, like you have to get down and dirty with them.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Yep. All right, Kim. You know, Fry Girl Fundamentals. What was your fryer moment? Like, what was your entry-level position that you realized, like, dang, this is this is work. Um, you know, and how to how to deal with the pressure when you felt the heat, the pressure. Where was that for you?

SPEAKER_03 31:31

Hmm. Okay. This might be silly, however, I feel like it was in when I was 16 years old. I was in a program in high school, and it required you to get a job, and you were able to leave school early. I was just trying to leave school early. But I was like, okay, cool. I'll do this. I'm gonna get this job, make money, and I get to leave school early. That's winning. Like, you can't fail at that. And so I applied in the mall at all these places because I was like, I want to work in the mall, it's gonna be fun. All the kids are gonna be out, we're gonna be doing this, having a great time. No, I ended up getting a job at Sears of all places, which okay, great. Sears is great, but there's no kids or teenagers going inside Sears. Let's just be for real. Nobody's going inside Sears but adults. And not only did I get a job in Sears, I wanted to at least be in the shoe department. No, I got put in the lingerie department, and I'm like a 16-year-old child, and so I'm over there, like, what is all this? I don't even know what half of this stuff is. And then you get these ladies that are coming in and they're like, I need you to measure me because I don't know what size I am. I'm 16, ma'am. I don't even really know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I'm doing. And I was just a lot, it was a lot to learn. And I'm like, okay, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. And it taught me a lot of responsibility though. And I'm gonna tell you a story that I never forgotten to this day working there. I was checking out this lady, and I was also on the phone at the same time, and I wasn't really paying attention to her, and she knew I wasn't paying attention to her, so she wrote me a check for whatever she was purchasing, but didn't sign it intentionally because she wanted to see if I was gonna catch it, and who didn't catch it? I just took the check, put everything in there, and sent her on her way. And she went and told, hey, that girl over there isn't paying any attention, she's not doing this, she's not doing that. And that was a light bulb moment. I was like, if you're gonna take this job, you need to take it seriously. And that's exactly what I did after that. I was like, never again are you gonna call me out about not paying attention to you. Because she was true. I mean, I wasn't paying attention. I was taking a phone call, doing this, doing that, thinking I can multitask. I'm in Sears, not in the middle of the mall where I wanted to be. And I was like, you have to present yourself well. You're the one that's here, you're on display. Like, do this. Like you're already a child working in this pretty mature store, and they selected you for a reason. You know, like they could have waited and got a any other person. I'm sure there was other people that applied besides me. So they selected you. Don't make yourself look bad and never again. I was like all in. I was figuring out how to measure those ladies, I was giving them their measurements, I was doing everything. Folding, you need you need help, ma'am? I can help you with everything you need. I've learned all of this stuff. We had downtime, I'm over there looking at all the inventory, knowing where everything's at. I don't want anybody asking me any questions that I didn't know the answers to. So I felt like that was a perfect moment for me, like to grow and learn more in customer service and realize how important customer service is, and people are here spending their money. They want a good experience. So I need to make sure I give them that good experience.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. I love that, and I never knew that about you. Yeah. So before we I let you go, tell me what is your what's your secret sauce? What's your habit, your tool, your book, whatever it is that that just keeps you being better tomorrow than today?

SPEAKER_03 35:41

So I feel like there's two. One of the biggest things I've learned because I feel like just life in general, not just working, I feel like our professional life, our personal life, a lot of things are just really chaotic right now in the world that we live in, unfortunately. So I feel like we all bring on a lot of stress. So I do feel like self-care is the biggest important piece of making sure that you're the best version of yourself every day for your family, for your staff, for everybody. Second, I feel like um another thing that's really important is if you know you're not having the best day, or you know that something that's happened, you probably are not in the best headspace to address that situation right now. I feel like one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned since being in this profession is to sleep on it, and it's okay. Um, I never was a believer in that. I felt like I needed to address something and I needed to address it now because if not, it wasn't gonna hit the same tomorrow. And guess what? It's good that it doesn't hit the same way tomorrow because you actually thought about it, you actually sat down and realized maybe it's not as big a deal as I thought it was, or maybe I could actually understand it from their perspective, and it wasn't really what I thought it was in the moment where I was completely upset in my feelings, emotional. And if I talk about it the next day, I'm actually able to take my emotions out of that situation, which is so big. Like you can't go into a conversation with all your emotions exposed, never gonna go well. Um so those are like the two biggest things that I feel like are my secret sauce is just trying to be poised, just trying to be chill. And in moments where I don't feel like I am, what do I need to do to get there? And it's okay to take a step back and be like, hey, can we regroup and talk about this tomorrow? And I think they appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

I love that. And just so you know, I literally have a post-it in my closet and it says take the emotion out of it. And I I have to like look at it and see it because it's real.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Yes, very much.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thanks for spending this time with me today. I hope today's conversation reminded you that leadership is built in everyday moments and the way we show up, the way we serve others, and the choices we make when no one's watching. If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or just made you think differently, I'd love for you to subscribe, share it with someone who's growing as a leader, and join me again next time. Until then, remember leadership isn't about where you start, it's about who you become.