This is a teaser for my new podcast, "Head Click: Transformation Through Crisis." And I'm Gopita Catherine Manning. This is my podcast. I can also be reached at www.southernbridespirituality.com. And here is the teaser. I was tired. I'd worked all day and with back-to-back patients for six hours without a break. I was just so hungry and tired. I left my office, walked through the courtyard, and up the backstairs, stairs of my house, relishing the idea of food and bed. I walked into the bedroom, and he was lying there on the bed, filing for disability from his law firm, a lucrative endeavor indeed. My God, my God, my life was turning upside down. Nothing was as it seemed. He'd promised us protection and love, but instead became a volatile and terrifying tyrant. He never raised his voice. He never hit us, but he was capable of inflicting great harm, and I, I had learned to be terrified. So when I walked into the bedroom, I guess I gave him the look. I, I think I must have looked at him in a way that displeased him. I, I did not challenge him, but apparently something showed on my face, and I attempted to cover it, and I, I tried to say casually, "Oh, that candle doesn't have a container. Let me put something under it." Well, this did it. He flew at me. He picked up a hammer and flew at me. Now he would never hit me. He veered off like a cackling, hissing bird, and well, that was it for me. I backed up from the bedroom into the hallway, and I fell against the wall. And then I heard it, the click. My head clicked. Then I screamed and screamed and screamed until I became the scream. The last memory I have is of the terrified face of my daughter running to my aid, and this is where memory ends. The next year and a half after my head clicked, I, I, I just don't remember at all. I have vague, ghostly rememberings, images, but nothing solid. Now, over time, I've learned that transformation doesn't mean that the trauma which occurred is reframed as good. It means I eventually stopped resisting the reality of what had happened and created a life from what remained Why do good things go bad? How can a life of devotion and loyalty, a life of principles turn so dark? Now, I'm not the kind of person to say, "Oh, this crisis, this trauma, the man I loved with all my heart done me wrong, and then I found God." No, I'm not naive and I'm not stupid, but I think I was insane for a while. The transformation from a crisis comes much later, and it's never gonna be what you think. The pain lasts. It lasts forever. I just don't suffer anymore because I don't resist it. I've created a new life. There have been opportunities, epiphanies, creation of the new, grief over the loss of the old, destruction, but everything's different than it was. I won't say it's been easy, and I won't say I wouldn't still want that monster if he walked through the door. Transformation through crisis. My name's Gopita Katharine Manning. I've written a book called "The Head Click" and another book called "First Kill All the Lawyers," which was published in 2014. This is my experience with this lawyer who ended up filing for divorce and taking me to court. It's written under my pen name, Katie Law Goodwin. There is much more to the story I'm telling, believe me. So meet me once a week and let's talk. I have a lot to say and I bet you do too. You can also find me at southernfriedspirituality.com. "The Head Click: Transformation Through Crisis."